Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Line It As It Is

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:27.320 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:57.320 Chase Matthew, listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:00.880 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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00:01:34.840 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:36.300 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.380 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:42.100 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:43.860 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:44.700 This is our hell.

00:01:45.560 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.840 This is POOG.

00:01:49.220 Today's topic, loosely speaking.

00:01:51.600 Alpinism.

00:01:52.860 The back dive.

00:01:53.860 Arf Redmond

00:01:55.760 2, 1, we're recording

00:01:59.300 Morning Pook

00:02:02.900 Good morning Pook

00:02:03.720 I actually, this morning, I had to set an alarm for morning Pook

00:02:07.900 You couldn't risk what had happened last week

00:02:10.940 Exactly, and I set the alarm

00:02:14.320 I gotta be honest, it hurt, I went to bed too late

00:02:18.160 I was asleep at 1am, which I know is a normal time to go to sleep

00:02:22.460 But for me lately, I've been dozing early.

00:02:27.040 Wait, so what time did you fall asleep last night?

00:02:28.620 One?

00:02:28.920 One.

00:02:29.700 Wow.

00:02:30.180 Yeah, I've been dozing early as well.

00:02:32.160 What time are you dozing?

00:02:33.940 Well, for me, 11.

00:02:35.520 Oh, yeah.

00:02:36.880 I love an 11.

00:02:38.540 Yesterday, I had nine and a half hours of sleep, and that's my favorite.

00:02:42.240 I'm out.

00:02:43.240 Oh, yeah.

00:02:44.320 Well, I used to, you know, I always had to prepare for 13 hours.

00:02:48.260 That was my natural waking point.

00:02:50.600 13.

00:02:51.000 13 hours i'm going to bed at two guess i'll be up at three oh my god i mean it was

00:02:58.080 unsustainable i was fired yeah that's not sustainable here's a question that's when

00:03:03.400 i hit real quick please so as you can see i have some lip color on okay i'm truly fresh out of bed

00:03:10.700 and i there's a visual element to poog and i always forget it and i just i need to

00:03:15.200 when you said that recently I thought you meant

00:03:18.960 because it reveals how bored you are by me

00:03:21.240 in that video you're utterly bored

00:03:24.920 while I'm like trying to show you the thing

00:03:26.380 and it's very funny

00:03:27.840 it's so horrifying because I'm never bored by you at all

00:03:30.540 I'm so exhilarated by you

00:03:31.940 but I will admit sometimes my face does flatly

00:03:35.480 no there's a flatness to my expression

00:03:37.060 I just mean like the visual of it

00:03:39.480 well don't encourage me

00:03:42.400 then I'll go harder into the bore

00:03:44.940 but here's my question about lips so anytime someone does my makeup and i feel where they're

00:03:50.240 doing the lip line they are going oh over yeah outside what my lip is to me yeah my understanding

00:03:58.400 is that and this is so like puritanical it's like i'm only allowed to add color where there

00:04:06.660 already is color versus no when you feel the lip right loud i know the place where you feel the lip

00:04:14.820 begin to raise arguably you could say that's sort of your unpigmented relatively lip unpigmented

00:04:21.560 lip yeah it's your every god i mean of course it's your right to draw the line all the way

00:04:25.520 down to your chin whatever that's fair game but you know what i mean i think they have legislation

00:04:30.340 against that actually but um yeah no of course it's always weird to feel that i um i had an

00:04:37.580 impossibly chic friend of mine be like you never draw outside the lip line ever see that i'm glad

00:04:44.020 do you hear that because I trust her with my life do you remember like makeup artist Bobby Brown

00:04:47.920 you know at least I believe I this has stuck with me makeup artist Bobby Brown says something like

00:04:55.740 you know accentuate I had her book about makeup as a teenager but okay yes so accentuate you know

00:05:04.020 your your features you know so I have sort of small lips okay and I used to feel like from a

00:05:12.720 television show perfect strangers they talk about thin-lipped larry and he had thin lips and i was

00:05:16.940 like oh god it's me but like my lips are pretty small you know and they can really disappear

00:05:23.680 but if and i always feel like if i line the truth of what my lip is if i line it as it is and fill

00:05:29.680 in the color it looks like nuts because it's not like it just looks like this tiny weird like if

00:05:36.480 you actually follow the lip line like it just looks i don't know it looks weird but i'm like

00:05:40.400 but that is my lip so technically speaking if i'm going to go with the bobby brown

00:05:45.320 philosophy it's like line it as it is you know what i mean like yeah instead of us trying to

00:05:52.700 everyone trying to you know chase the same ideal and whatever i think you line it as it is i mean

00:05:58.660 because those are the things that you know your specific qualities right that i mean duh they

00:06:07.000 maker you but like they literally like it reminds me of almost like you know giving your child a

00:06:14.300 name that they can you can guarantee they'll get the url later it won't be taken already i'm having

00:06:21.720 my brain delayed say it again so like you name your child like rigatoni loof okay arf redman

00:06:29.360 that's what came up our fredman

00:06:38.240 but what but wait how does that relate to the lip line god i'm really not firing today

00:06:45.800 no no morning cook is a risk at times continue so when you realize that you're uh maybe even

00:06:53.200 things you didn't like about yourself are unique and you decide to lean into them instead of try to

00:06:57.560 round off the corners of yourself to be more like others or more like what you think the ideal is or

00:07:04.480 whatever like that's become valued in some ways more maybe than it used to be where it was all

00:07:10.780 keeping up with the Joneses you know now it's you know standing out making your mark yeah but so

00:07:18.700 you know to me me drawing around the truth of my lip line even if I think it looks ridiculous

00:07:23.740 you know would be me leaning into my specific you know what I mean idiosyncrasy like it's the same

00:07:31.520 as the original name instead of naming the kid Ann Smith you name it Arf Redman

00:07:39.160 instead of me trying to make my lips look like other people's lips or something like that

00:07:44.820 I lean into it and then and then I have this signature yeah no that's the signature you get

00:07:51.880 to have of course that's the art of it all yeah and to have a signature thing like that it's almost

00:07:56.500 like like caricatures you know well like my I actually forget because I have you know so much

00:08:02.520 hair I have a big old head of curls and I forget that that is I forget that that's my defining

00:08:10.180 characteristic right like that's and that's I feel so alienated from that well totally that's

00:08:16.320 how people clock you like oh right I have a huge head of curly hair it's not how I consider I don't

00:08:24.560 it's not what I think of as being me of course you don't because it's like well what what I think it

00:08:31.160 is is what you you can realize what shorthand people have been using to recognize you and so

00:08:37.420 if they don't know anyone with your specific hair it's the most like distinct thing that's what

00:08:45.200 they're going to spot you in a crowd and then they're kind of like not going to see or memorize

00:08:51.180 your face in the same way. It's just going to be the hair. I just had for breakfast some incredible

00:08:57.000 sourdough toast with that incredible butter, the French butter that Anthony Bourdain always

00:09:01.840 talked about. It's like a big, it's in a circle. It's like $12, you know? Oh my God. Wait, what's

00:09:05.940 it called? It's called something French. I'll figure it out. Right. Everyone's going to want

00:09:10.360 it including me it's in a big gold circle it's really heavenly it's like it's like cheese like

00:09:16.360 you eat it like cheese like you spread it like it's it's unreal drag do you drag a knife and

00:09:22.240 does it do that thing when you drag a knife so this i keep in the fridge i was raised not to

00:09:28.160 refrigerate butter which is very chic it was one of the things it was one of the first moments of

00:09:33.680 like i'm different yeah my parents are different going over to people's homes and they're cold

00:09:39.400 they're cold protestant butters i knew you were gonna make it protestant you're such a bigot 0.63

00:09:44.320 i know i was like i was like get that out of there you're supposed to spread you're spreading

00:09:50.140 butter like why and so but this butter i'm keeping in the fridge and i haven't really

00:09:55.960 interrogated why i think it was recommended to do that anyway the point is i had sourdough bread

00:10:01.800 incredible sourdough with the butter with homemade john early made the most incredible 0.96

00:10:06.560 Meyer lemon marmalade oh my god he made marmalade he made fucking marmalade and it's so good and um 0.94

00:10:15.360 you want here's something about about canning stuff I freeze in terror I've I've had dreams 0.98

00:10:21.820 of fermentation I've had I read the book I remember um this is actually pre-pandemic I remember

00:10:28.580 in like a three-hour period becoming obsessed with the idea of making my own sauerkraut

00:10:34.200 yeah yeah and like reading about it i mean like i'm going now to to the market and i went and got

00:10:39.220 the jars and i got everything and i got home and then i froze because it said like sterilize the

00:10:45.020 jar right and i was and nearly threw the jar out the window because it was like i can't take my

00:10:50.420 life and the life of others in my hands right now with the sterilization product uh process and

00:10:54.840 people say oh no you just it's simple a dog could do it it's like i know no actually it's i'm i'm

00:11:00.700 quivering and so I abandoned the sauerkraut I abandoned my dreams of fermentation and I never

00:11:08.920 went back and so even even with because to jar marmalade you have to also sterilize the jar now

00:11:15.360 you just throw it in there I don't know how it fucking works who cares this jar I'm gonna eat

00:11:20.140 very quickly but did he he canned it that's a whole thing canned it was in a jar it can sit on 0.98

00:11:25.840 your shelf okay no this was no no i opened it and then of course it has to go in the fridge but

00:11:31.820 but it was stable before honey i believe it was sure so did he say i should ask him i should ask

00:11:38.260 him but i'm pretty sure i mean because my opinion my sense is that i don't know i think if you unless

00:11:44.320 you're adding some kind of literal preservative right throwing it in a jar and just deeply like

00:11:51.420 dishonor not letting the preservative one would hope i mean one would hope but yeah i don't i

00:11:59.380 haven't heard that i just i mean it's an effective i just love like he doesn't get to defend what it

00:12:05.940 was and i'm like he just throws it in a jar there's all that oxygen there's all that air at

00:12:10.420 the top he closes it it's rotting from above right kate thinks it's shelf stable because

00:12:15.400 it looks like something she's gotten right right no when i opened it i believe it clicked

00:12:19.540 okay I'm gonna I'm gonna interrogate him on this but the jam was great you'll have to post it

00:12:26.460 you'll have to post it stand yeah it was it's really nice I mean I I always overlook jams

00:12:33.100 typically I find them too sweet but a good jam my god oh my god a tart jam when it cuts against

00:12:42.080 exactly it needs to cut cheese are you kidding when it cuts oh honey when it cuts

00:12:47.060 god I used to just go to restaurants do a bit of writing and um get a charcuterie board because

00:12:56.200 you could sort of eat that at a slow pace and I don't know it's different than just a plate of

00:13:01.180 chicken really inspiring me I really as I embark on some writing myself you really are this versed

00:13:07.800 writer you know and I just you're because like I think to myself I I can never work in public like

00:13:14.660 I can't take the laptop and...

00:13:17.660 Too embarrassing?

00:13:18.380 I can't do it, yeah.

00:13:19.680 Finishing yourself a writer?

00:13:21.060 It's just, I just can't do it.

00:13:22.700 I just can't do it.

00:13:23.840 I need to be alone.

00:13:25.400 Well, you used to be afraid to get in the pool alone.

00:13:27.200 I know exactly.

00:13:28.120 I think I can push past it because I am...

00:13:30.600 You can.

00:13:31.280 I find I prefer to be watched than not watched.

00:13:35.540 So the witness helps me.

00:13:38.300 You know, it's the age-old thing, right?

00:13:40.200 It's so easy to clean when someone's around.

00:13:41.880 It's easy to organize your closet if you're talking to a friend.

00:13:44.160 you know if they're physically in the room with you right it like makes the pain of it less

00:13:48.940 no i don't even know if that's so age old i think that's pretty fresh and blunt oh really oh great

00:13:53.780 no being if i'm if you were to right now stand here and we could talk i could do anything oh 0.92

00:14:00.560 i could do fucking anything this is actually huge couldn't be more true the babysitting 0.89

00:14:05.860 the babysitting but being witnessed you're more real to someone else like my self-concept elevates 0.97

00:14:12.360 like i mean the other one is show when i cook i narrate my own cooking like it's a cooking show

00:14:19.060 right i mean not always but 98 and you handle i think you can handle challenges when they come up

00:14:27.140 because you're um you're going like you're like oh and yep that can happen sometimes yes yes no

00:14:34.340 that can spill over the edge and you just grab a little paper towel and you just wipe it you don't

00:14:37.840 even have to turn off the stove you can usually I mean be careful exactly it's incredible so I

00:14:43.740 imagine oh yeah with writing like if I like now I'm like whoa what if I went what if I just tried

00:14:51.240 to suspend the humiliation the feeling I have of being tacky if I took my computer somewhere sat

00:14:57.480 there ordered a charcuterie board I think I could do anything like that makes me feel like I could

00:15:02.400 do fucking anything well that's why I've been doing it for for years and that's why okay will

00:15:06.620 you train me i gain 60 every time i'm writing but but it's it's you what every time spend 60 0.99

00:15:12.000 no gain oh it's a rude rude but like well let me tell you a little more take me this yes this is

00:15:19.180 a lift deal i'll carry you into the world where are we going the proper so there's there's a few

00:15:24.320 yes okay we're going to the proper i've already reached out asking if the lobby is one where 0.76

00:15:28.940 because i do so okay now i'm i'm fucking oh sorry i just got coveted set keep going 0.78

00:15:34.900 like we can't go actually we can't go right now that's fine 0.89

00:15:38.500 but there are other there are other ways to create romance and witness even in their own home okay

00:15:46.180 well I I similarly do time lapse to um to motivate me so like I used to in my studio in New York that

00:15:55.760 was you know I don't even know if I ever let you up there because it's like one of the smallest

00:15:59.460 studios i was i was up there the 71st street one yeah okay once twice maybe three times not the

00:16:07.120 one where we had pinkberry no i know okay i don't know if this is relevant you clowning i mean i

00:16:13.720 think it's hysterical to your personality times i've ever laughed no but before that well there's

00:16:18.820 two things you come over okay you haven't spent a lot of time around partner lover comedian my 0.98

00:16:25.920 boyfriend Chris yeah right and you're you're a clown and you're your eyes are searching until 0.92

00:16:32.620 like like I it's almost as if you don't relax until the first time you've made someone laugh 0.96

00:16:36.400 which is very true to myself right so you're looking you're you're being funny you're being

00:16:40.920 yourself and you're sort of I see your eyes sort of darting over to Chris almost like where are the

00:16:44.720 laughs yeah yeah it feels familiar and Chris is pretty like like like muted in you know facial

00:16:53.420 expressions in terms of like he's not giving a lot of yeah he's not giving a lot of like whatever

00:16:58.440 um and so you're you're almost cranking it up like like to see where the thing is i just saw

00:17:04.920 it i just saw it and so you had to go it was almost like you went hard okay yeah and so you're

00:17:08.920 talking about seventh heaven and you mentioned the youngest the youngest girl the one with curly

00:17:13.540 brown hair what's her character's name ruthie yeah like somehow we're talking about seven heaven and 0.98

00:17:19.000 And you're like, oh, yeah, the youngest girl, Ruthie, always subtly asking for dick. 0.98

00:17:25.400 And like Chris, like, like cackled, you know what I mean? 0.99

00:17:28.360 No, no.

00:17:29.440 Yeah.

00:17:30.260 Oh, my God.

00:17:31.720 I too vaguely remember. 0.97

00:17:33.560 Like you like had to like sexualize a child. 0.97

00:17:35.840 Isn't that hysterical? 0.98

00:17:36.560 I never forgot.

00:17:37.340 In order to get a laugh.

00:17:38.660 Yeah.

00:17:39.120 Yeah.

00:17:39.500 Anything for the laugh.

00:17:41.180 Anything.

00:17:42.360 And it's still one of the funniest things I've ever heard anyone say. 1.00

00:17:46.040 You're like the youngest child subtly asking for dick. 1.00

00:17:49.000 oh my god it's so terrible 1.00

00:17:52.080 and

00:17:53.780 you know I refuse to say trigger warning but

00:17:56.560 I guess we could have a sound effect you know what I mean

00:17:58.640 ding dong

00:17:59.200 no

00:18:00.560 no yeah enter your own risk

00:18:04.560 is more what it is

00:18:06.600 life's hard wear a helmet

00:18:08.000 so

00:18:10.740 then

00:18:11.980 and I feel like I don't know I feel like we've

00:18:14.440 tried to tell this anecdote it was

00:18:16.540 just

00:18:17.100 we were ordering pinkberry

00:18:19.600 we were deciding whether or not

00:18:21.260 we were ordering it in because it's such a revelation

00:18:23.040 the fact that you could order in pinkberry

00:18:24.480 so we were getting it delivered

00:18:27.220 and we were deciding whether or not

00:18:29.700 to get toppings

00:18:30.300 and we started to put together the order

00:18:32.480 and I had this moment where I was stressed out

00:18:34.900 imagining the two cups arriving

00:18:36.580 and us trying to figure out whose was whose

00:18:38.340 and what if for a second it was wrong

00:18:40.140 and you got a bite of mine 1.00

00:18:41.120 and you know then you're just fucked 1.00

00:18:42.820 it's ruined 1.00

00:18:45.280 and i just said to you it's you and me it's a really strong memory food making food decisions

00:18:52.560 right is is like is like this intensity and so it's like and you and i was like no no let's not

00:18:58.280 let's not do it like let's order the exact same thing like as each other right raspberry coulis

00:19:02.420 or whatever you know they pour on it i was like i was like no no because there's gonna be that

00:19:06.540 moment where we're looking like is that mine yeah and you're like yeah yeah don't do it and then

00:19:12.500 and then we died we erupted and it's one of the most uh one of the greatest memories of laughter

00:19:16.980 i've ever had of us screaming i remember laughing so hard i remember even in my mind chris like

00:19:22.280 looking at us like we were dying it was it was i love that it was absolute bliss no those moments

00:19:29.140 are are few they're all they're all we have i think speaking of all we have i think we have

00:19:33.900 to go to break wow we have to go to the clock caperland always always looking we'll be right

00:19:39.540 back, folks.

00:19:44.500 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:19:48.560 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:19:53.940 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:19:57.780 It was hard to wrap your head around. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:20:02.760 No, I am not your guru.

00:20:05.940 and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody there were years

00:20:12.360 right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in northern

00:20:16.280 california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try to find

00:20:21.520 out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:20:26.140 and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you sons of

00:20:31.800 You come around here and my wife.

00:20:33.760 Boom, boom.

00:20:35.080 This is The Red Weather.

00:20:38.060 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:20:40.660 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:20:44.960 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:20:48.900 He is edgy.

00:20:49.720 He's fun.

00:20:50.720 He is Chase Matthews.

00:20:52.200 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:20:54.980 but it's his recent number one hit, Darling, that put Chase on the map

00:20:58.000 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:21:03.260 That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:21:06.140 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:21:08.880 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:21:18.420 And we're back in.

00:21:19.860 We're back.

00:21:20.360 um i was telling you yesterday i you know i'm always fascinated by your past life

00:21:30.040 oh yeah um knowledge and feelings and you having been a sea captain in a past life so i

00:21:36.320 am so by the way i'm so captivated by free soloing and like documentaries about free

00:21:41.800 soloing climbing then i'm like that's i think i was that but then i'm just like oh you mean

00:21:46.760 the most obviously fascinating like i take it as somehow sparking a past life right memory in

00:21:54.180 myself whereas it's like no i'm just compelled by what anyone is compelled by because it's

00:21:58.040 un-fucking-believable right like like like uh like like well well you know the classic sort of

00:22:03.620 oh you think you were cleopatra or you know everyone thinks they're cleopatra everyone

00:22:07.520 thinks they're right and it's like however i do have an argument for that one are you ready

00:22:11.720 yeah legitimize it because they have to be like i'm like maybe cleopatra's energy soul-wise right

00:22:19.720 was so big that actually that energy can repeat in multiple people they're all drawing from the

00:22:26.740 same cleopatra well oh i like their soul i'm kind of exciting but wait i want to hear about

00:22:31.760 you drawn to free solo because you mean climbing without a carabiner so free soloing for those who

00:22:38.220 don't know yeah it's climbing without any kind of uh rope so you're just on the mountain

00:22:44.520 stuck there and you watch that documentary right so i saw free solo in theaters and was

00:22:51.100 in awe even though the the free soloist is like insufferable like he's kind of a you know he's i

00:22:58.640 mean god bless him if he's listening huge fan but he's like and the documentary kind of covers this

00:23:04.060 he's like yeah you know as you would imagine like utterly strange um it's tearing apart his

00:23:09.580 relationship yeah yeah and then so this new documentary i just watched on netflix is it

00:23:15.220 netflix called the alpinist oh baby or is hbo max oh promise me you'll watch it promise me i'm

00:23:22.160 gonna re-watch i and this guy is like so electrically charismatic and what's really

00:23:27.560 beautiful about him is that he so free soloists um you know typically they film themselves they

00:23:33.360 post-it they had these kinds of like online personalities he rejects that entirely right

00:23:37.280 and people are like trying to photograph him he's like do not film me like that's not free

00:23:41.040 soloing i'm not alone if someone's filming me and he has this like deeply real you know it's

00:23:44.760 like the spiritual it's just like him and nature and he does these unimaginable climbs and they're

00:23:51.440 like in the alpines like in snow he's fucking free soloing on ice is he is he um does he have

00:23:58.340 to hack away yeah he has like a little pickaxe thing yeah and he's like and it's like it makes 0.74

00:24:04.480 you watch it and you're just you know breathless and I was watching him and I was like I could get

00:24:11.840 used to this I mean he's like very charming and and absolutely alien and it is this feeling

00:24:18.620 and oh you'll fucking love this no when you're like what'd you say used to this did you mean

00:24:23.260 the climbing life or did you mean life with him he's hot yeah yeah no like to him kind of like 0.97

00:24:30.120 at first I was like right now and then and then actually it's more just like one there's like one

00:24:35.680 scene where he's hot but um I'll never you just the way you say hot okay like hot is so the

00:24:45.440 antithesis of your sort of you know new york yeah it's it's the it's the valley girl in me baby it's

00:24:54.160 the valley girl in you that i just remember i was the first one in new york just bought it on you

00:24:58.120 it's a spot that i was from la but i love them all and i love palm trees and a soda just like

00:25:03.520 yeah that you're yeah you love them all it's such it's such an important part of you that

00:25:07.140 you know the country you know they well they're not they're not actually contradictions that's

00:25:11.440 little point. Thank you. No, you see me and thus you free me. But, um, okay. So you're

00:25:17.020 going to love this. This is not a spoiler. Um, he had like, as a kid, really, really

00:25:24.820 intense ADD and his mother, which in this like convinced me, I was like, I'm homeschooling

00:25:31.680 my kids. Fuck it. He was like homeschooled because he was, and the mother is like, ever 1.00

00:25:36.620 since he was a little boy, he was captivated by rock climbing and stories like books about

00:25:41.420 adventures and nature she's like i just kept buying him these books and he just was reading

00:25:45.280 them reading them reading them obsessed with them and he was like i want to climb and so she was

00:25:48.740 like okay so she let him and she let her like teenage son go free solo and and she would be

00:25:53.360 like nervous and scared but she was like i couldn't contain him like he had to go do it

00:25:56.640 wow and he talks about the presence you know this is like i guess obvious but it's pretty like

00:26:03.880 you have to he describes free soloing as like the only time he's able to be fully present

00:26:08.060 right like because your your life is in your hands and you're and he and this is what's so

00:26:12.380 remarkable about him because this this other movie like this kind of around these free soloists

00:26:18.360 soloists there's this hyper kind of like you know masculine like risking it all and the fear and

00:26:24.820 your life is right there and he's like i'm completely relaxed he's like i approach it

00:26:29.980 as one thing fun oh my god and it's like real like he has and you watch him they eventually 0.72

00:26:37.260 of course do film him and you watch him scaling these fucking mountains and it's like really 0.57

00:26:41.520 beautiful he's like super fluid his motion and he's just like grinning oh my god like it's it's 0.95

00:26:47.640 crazy anyway go watch the alpinist um i was deeply moved no i'm just taking this in i can't wait to

00:26:55.760 rewatch it have you ever done any rock climbing okay so i of course was like i have to do this

00:27:01.640 So, and then yesterday I was on a walk and I pretended that the walk was a mountain.

00:27:08.320 I was like, I'm free soloing right now.

00:27:11.160 But I was like, of course there's the, I'm not even going to say it, you know, the cheesiness

00:27:15.680 of like, no, I do free solo.

00:27:17.720 Like, like, like I am on the rock.

00:27:19.820 I am on the side.

00:27:21.800 I'm a stand up comedian.

00:27:23.580 I said, this is free soloing.

00:27:26.200 Basically is about what everyone does.

00:27:28.180 like like well being a doctor basically is being or you know that's not the right one anyway no

00:27:34.720 no being a surgeon actually is not free so all right I was gonna say like something else like

00:27:40.720 well being a doctor is like being a rock star or something but but you know that's not a good one

00:27:44.940 but like no one would try to say that but like I have done a bit of rock climbing that's what I

00:27:49.740 I'm trying trying to lean towards okay oh sorry rock climbing okay so I've done I've done as a

00:27:56.100 kid a million years ago I did this with the indoor rock climbing gyms like for fun Los Angeles once

00:28:00.480 again for fun obviously what else would it have been for business what training I was paid um

00:28:07.780 but that was fun and I was talking to a friend recently about getting back in that rock climbing

00:28:11.820 gym but are you meaning to tell me that you've actually been strapped to a rock like with the

00:28:15.760 ropes yeah holy shit where when I tell you about it tell me everything so in uh in high school I 0.82

00:28:24.940 went on one of these sort of outward bound type things okay that involved a couple days of rock 0.94

00:28:32.680 climbing and it was in Colorado gorgeous you start crying yeah and I'm just like I'm trying

00:28:43.140 to contain it so because I'm like so we're driving up I see the face of the mountain it's shocking I

00:28:47.480 can't imagine okay you're just and you know just the sheer size of mountains I mean that's the

00:28:52.680 thing right that's what makes the mountains all right um that's what makes the mountains

00:28:58.040 i mean i've always mountains i remember as a kid someone was like scale ocean or mountains

00:29:02.720 mountains without even a question well but you grew up in santa monica but i'm a little oceany

00:29:08.320 lately last few years the ocean has kind of revealed herself to me i experienced okay well

00:29:14.160 we're gonna have to get into that and we'll talk about blue mind a book i read about oh yeah you've

00:29:18.840 benefits of being in near or around water oh man near or looking I don't know so I think also blue

00:29:26.700 mind could lead to madness like I actually don't like I like I'm imagining right now if I because

00:29:32.420 I I know someone who lives in an apartment on the ocean like she's lived there since like the 80s

00:29:38.960 and it's like slowly losing her mind out her window but out her window I'm not kidding it's

00:29:46.020 just blue it's unreal I love that ocean like truly I've seen that like nothing on the edges

00:29:51.740 like a square of a square of ocean it's it's outrageous and yes and the tide like if the 0.97

00:29:59.020 tide goes out you look down and you see god damn and this is crap I've seen it in my own eyes 0.93

00:30:04.400 starfish Jacqueline starfish clinging to the rocks like I mean you could just weep but then 0.98

00:30:10.060 often it's just this this monochromatic this panel of blue and it's it's really surreal but

00:30:16.240 I think it would make me crazy a little bit like I just imagine like just like you head into the

00:30:20.580 city to meet a friend for lunch like you had deeper inland okay and you're just sitting there

00:30:23.880 rocking like like your friend's like why are you rocking and you're like I'm not yeah exactly

00:30:28.940 that's what they're like their body is like the undulation of the waves undulation well there's

00:30:34.440 balance of course you know we need water we need rock we need fire we need earth right

00:30:38.320 that's what the ancients tell us i like to look out and see what i see which is the scientology

00:30:45.040 building earth yeah really not a joke no wait earth oh no sorry ether and air has always been

00:30:52.260 a confusion point for me because because in certain systems they separate them you know i'm

00:30:57.240 talking about into the so so like it'll be like earth fire water and air okay and then it'll be

00:31:03.680 like ether oh ether oh i've never heard that or wind it's like it's like i don't know it's like

00:31:10.660 you know i lay out all the systems and then it's like try to make them overlap but wait hold on

00:31:15.900 pull me back rock climbing rock climbing approaching the face of the mountain i'm terrified

00:31:21.240 um i'm looking at this thing i'm like i'm looking up there's people up there i can see them they're

00:31:26.040 like tiny wow i'm just like i'm gonna die like i'm just like death is here like i'm like this 0.73

00:31:33.440 is exactly how it always happens like I'm like these fools you know the hubris right yeah I think

00:31:38.780 you know oh yeah okay and then like no then we're the accident you know like and and I went out and 0.94

00:31:46.640 I sat on this rock and I just made peace with death I sat there and I kind of meditated and

00:31:51.400 made peace with death like were you like 13 probably 14 15 wow let's make peace with death

00:31:57.780 at that age well i mean i literally had to yeah you grow up fast when there's a carabiner and a

00:32:03.820 rope being handed you really grow fast so and there's some guide you know and we don't know

00:32:09.000 him but we've been introduced to him they tell us a terrifying fact you ready this so you know

00:32:12.880 carabiner yes little metal oh god yeah okay carabiner if you drop it just standing there

00:32:19.280 just drop it three feet right and you pick it up looks fine you throw it out instantly 0.52

00:32:23.660 oh fuck that's cool because that is cool there's an interior thing that can shatter and it doesn't 0.88

00:32:29.960 look like it's shattered and your carabiner will drop you to the earth okay and so now i find that 0.99

00:32:38.000 completely unacceptable first of all how get back in the fucking factory and figure it out 0.98

00:32:43.580 yeah how is that i mean unless it was a lie and i'm sure that i mean the poog listeners will know 0.99

00:32:49.320 and they'll they'll speak up I mean as you know we don't we don't check for facts while recording 0.82

00:32:54.900 oh that reminds me I just want to say General Patton did not die of an apple cart there's a

00:32:59.020 moment in the movie where he almost gets hit by an apple cart and says wouldn't that be funny

00:33:03.480 if I got hit by an apple cart um after all these years of war but he did die in some kind of traffic

00:33:09.040 accident um that's how you know that's how Bart Bart's Roland Barthes died oh no is that or is

00:33:15.520 it um Borges no I think it's Bart he uh Bart he died crossing the street like from his teaching

00:33:23.320 job or something it was like hit by a bus I mean there's an elegance to just sort of

00:33:28.700 getting I think there is something deeply intellectual about just being hit by a bus

00:33:32.840 well it lends your life just quality you know what did Nietzsche yeah and I I say Nietzsche

00:33:40.620 let's get real but you know what I mean I don't care if it's not how did Nietzsche die I was

00:33:44.760 just imagining no i was just thinking of this like niche thing of like like at the height of

00:33:50.480 wisdom is laughter you know like because of the absurdity of it all or something and um and so i

00:33:56.440 feel like if you're sort of this philosopher and you get knocked out by a bus it's kind of like

00:34:00.640 there's an elegance there yeah it's true that's an absurd death we should really we should find a

00:34:07.940 way to embrace the absurd death so we don't all have to live well i've always fear of you know

00:34:12.280 the roller coaster accident i've always been obsessed with dying being hit in the head by

00:34:15.980 coconut oh right yeah you've expressed that fear like almost so much that i'm like is that gonna

00:34:21.320 happen to me one day like because it's interesting to think what would be the ultimate way to die oh

00:34:26.280 this is funny was this with you oh this was with you jacqueline have we talked about something

00:34:30.120 ever you asked me are we were talking about this this is friends at dinner or something and you

00:34:37.540 we're like we're thinking about if we could construct our perfect death and i just kept

00:34:42.140 seeing myself in my parents bed dying in my parents bed that's not what it was i know what

00:34:47.140 it is the world's gonna end you asked me yeah what would you do okay the world's gonna end you

00:34:52.280 know in one day or whatever yeah what do you what do you do with that day kind of thing such a

00:34:58.340 what was this a first date jesus no but it is an interesting question and you're like run home to

00:35:04.280 my parents' bed to die in their arms. Yeah, I wanted to die in my mom's arms. That's true.

00:35:09.820 And then, yeah, that was my, um, and you know what, you know, it's good news. That's not really

00:35:14.640 how I want to go out anymore. I think that's a sign of growth. Which is, well, cause right,

00:35:19.260 arguably you running home to want to die in your mom's arms should in some ways be like,

00:35:25.220 that would be the worst way for your mother to go out because she's realized she's raised 0.90

00:35:29.440 a coward yeah no i think here's the thing i feel like she'd want me to run home and die in her arms

00:35:35.400 well right right which you know we'll get into that on another episode yeah right but um no but

00:35:41.240 i actually that's cool i actually don't think that's what i want anymore i just want to go out

00:35:46.140 quick when if it's yeah if it's if it's the end of the world i mean we've talked about this get

00:35:50.500 hit by the asteroid you know versus god it's so horrifying to think about tsunami really scares

00:35:57.040 me yeah tsunami is always really god yeah i have the tsunami dream a lot i also have these dreams

00:36:04.020 where these planes i see it in the distance i see that it's crashing i go holy shit and then

00:36:08.840 suddenly realize like wait we're too close like we might be in danger here on the ground and then

00:36:12.860 i see the plane it like hits the ground and it sort of bounces like like bounces like a you know

00:36:17.840 10 000 feet or whatever you know what i mean instead of bouncing near me and it's diving for

00:36:22.340 cover do you ever just watch 9-11 footage i feel like once a year i circle back oh i circle back

00:36:31.000 yeah like right now there's a documentary that i was like okay i might get into that oh um i think

00:36:36.620 on hulu or something yeah there's there's i was recently on youtube it's good to circle back

00:36:43.740 there was some fucking footage that is so unbelievable of news of people on the ground 0.71

00:36:49.100 um there's like a 40 minute clip i watched just like utterly captivated of people you know the 0.99

00:36:54.580 smoke cloud coming and these like people running into a parking structure and like trying to like

00:36:58.420 close and it's like all and of course it has it immediately has like this romance of cinema

00:37:03.080 because just the the film itself like it just it feels how could the recent how could recent 0.75

00:37:10.220 history feel so historical um i mean i just don't know what what are they fucking shooting on 0.80

00:37:15.660 like i don't know it's not film they're not down there with film right are they it's not digital 0.70

00:37:20.420 that's what's so wild about that footage it doesn't have like the texture of like digital

00:37:24.980 right of like they're the footage wasn't shot on iphones it wasn't shot on iphones but no because

00:37:31.340 it was literally watching i think we're watching well i don't know what you're watching because

00:37:36.100 that happened today don't forget there's the french filmmakers who were who were like doing

00:37:41.680 a documentary on a firehouse the day shut up so these like two french firefighters like

00:37:49.480 that's they had that film like they had a big major 9-11 film because they were already shooting

00:37:55.900 they're already following these firefighters around how the hell have i not heard about that

00:37:59.900 i mean i hope this is another thing that i've gotten wrong i mean it's like how can that

00:38:04.960 french firefighters making a film in america first of all like anytime like the frenchman

00:38:10.980 I feel like, wait, where did this happen?

00:38:12.700 It was a murder thing.

00:38:14.200 I remember that.

00:38:16.540 Of course.

00:38:19.620 Is it a doc?

00:38:20.380 I'm forgetting.

00:38:20.960 I could see you doing that.

00:38:22.980 Like, I can't explain it, but I can see you up on that wire.

00:38:27.540 You know that I can tightrope walk, right?

00:38:29.480 What?

00:38:30.620 I went to circus camp as a child.

00:38:32.520 Jacqueline.

00:38:33.760 I mean, actually, to be fair, I haven't done it in years,

00:38:36.220 but I have the belief that I could do it then, I could do it now.

00:38:38.740 I mean, I can still walk on stilts, so I assume it's the same.

00:38:42.620 Do you have a fear of heights?

00:38:45.080 No.

00:38:45.820 You're rock climbing, you're tightrope walking.

00:38:47.940 Well, this is the classic thing, is that at circus camp,

00:38:51.360 if you were good enough to be able to do it without a harness,

00:38:54.920 which I was.

00:38:55.740 They shot you on sight.

00:38:57.700 Yeah.

00:38:59.880 Yeah, they weren't trying to create their competition.

00:39:02.260 Then you in the show, you in the show,

00:39:05.380 because they were real circus performers,

00:39:06.440 in the big in the big show for the parents okay they rolled in like a you know they rolled in a

00:39:14.140 television played us like like blurry footage of them you know like in real like French again

00:39:21.320 French circus yeah and uh one of their names was Philippe or fantastic and uh so I was I was good

00:39:29.320 at tightrope tightrope I always because it was a child thing I I it's like you with a laptop

00:39:35.660 I like don't know if it's tightrope or tightrope

00:39:39.060 and it's like of course it's tightrope

00:39:40.500 but like it still lives in me as tightrope

00:39:42.720 so you know I couldn't spell the thing

00:39:44.760 but sure could I work it

00:39:46.140 so anyway there would be fans

00:39:48.780 you hold these fans that kind of help you know

00:39:50.660 help you with the balance so if you're good at it

00:39:52.700 in the show you were only

00:39:54.520 you got to go on the one that was three feet off the ground

00:39:56.980 yeah sure

00:39:58.240 because you're harness free

00:40:00.700 they're not going to throw you up there

00:40:01.720 then they had this structure that had a tightrope

00:40:05.040 on it that was like you know 20 feet off the ground and the kids who had to be harnessed

00:40:12.100 okay because they didn't have the balance they got to go up on the high one

00:40:17.620 oh and look almost like they were doing it superpowers but they get to look like stars

00:40:25.580 when yes you're the one meanwhile on the left two feet off the ground doing the impossible

00:40:29.960 doing well do you know what's this is doesn't that feel like a familiar metaphor folks

00:40:36.540 ain't that yeah don't don't it and then and then wait there's something deeply related there

00:40:43.240 so we went up on the rock okay and there's these these guides that do these programs

00:40:50.560 for kids they they have a quality to them not like the counselor type but the one that's like

00:40:55.820 this is the rock climbing guy and he's coming in he's an older guy he's coming in for three days

00:41:01.340 he does this you know every week new crop of kids he has his funny lines right yeah so we go up there

00:41:08.180 with him it's like we're in little groups I'm with him and like a couple other kids and he pulls a 0.83

00:41:13.260 goddamn prank what yes we're up on a ledge no now you know so with the rock climbing right for those 0.97

00:41:21.240 who don't understand you you know you're tethered and you climb up you know 10 feet on belay and you 0.99

00:41:27.560 hook yeah belay on climbing climb on and then you hook your carabiner to a little stud that's up

00:41:35.600 there that the previous person laid there or you we we couldn't have been pounding studs into the

00:41:41.400 mountain they must have i don't know click so you're you're always basically only at risk of

00:41:46.020 falling as far as the last time you hooked in yeah nonetheless okay we're on a ledge and i feel

00:41:52.200 like we're not hooked into anything at that moment like but we're there and he's like he does this

00:41:57.060 joke where he's got this big pile of rope and he's like i'm gonna hand this to you to this other kid 0.55

00:42:02.940 and he's like if you drop it like we're fucked basically okay and so he he hands the pile over 0.73

00:42:10.200 to the kid but it's in such a way that the kid believes he's holding it but it's attached but 0.92

00:42:16.020 piled in the rope is the rope that isn't attached basically the point is like hands it to the kid

00:42:20.580 and it immediately falls and it's not the kid's fault set up to fall falls like you know 200 feet

00:42:25.720 oh that's and we all panic and then he like says like you know just kidding just kidding is that 0.99

00:42:33.560 not fucking asshole there's not enough acknowledgement of the danger in pranks 0.99

00:42:39.220 because pranks assume pranksters fun loving people are not necessarily the same people 1.00

00:42:45.780 who have an who have a brilliant uh insight into into human behavior okay some do okay but

00:42:53.640 you ever see like a prank like like those pranks gone wrong you know someone jumps out of a dumpster

00:42:58.760 to scare someone in a monster costume and then like the person that's scared just immediately

00:43:03.060 like pops them in the face oh yeah okay or like what if that kid screamed and jumped off the

00:43:09.280 cliff like absolutely or suffered a heart attack wait i have to pause because i really have to pee

00:43:15.580 it's fine so sorry and then we have to go to break because we're in our final quadrant

00:43:20.740 well trimester this is rider strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather

00:43:28.640 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:43:34.600 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:43:38.360 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:43:39.680 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:43:43.300 No, I am not your guru.

00:43:47.080 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:43:49.720 I lied to police.

00:43:51.000 I lied to everybody.

00:43:51.980 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:43:54.940 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:43:57.380 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can to try to find out

00:44:02.360 what actually happened. Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:44:06.720 and not the obvious boyfriend? They have had this case for 30 years. I'll teach you sons of

00:44:12.360 to come around here and my wife. Boom, boom. This is The Red Weather. Listen to The Red Weather 1.00

00:44:19.840 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:44:27.380 The coolest cat in country music.

00:44:29.480 He is edgy.

00:44:30.300 He's fun.

00:44:31.300 He is Chase Matthews.

00:44:32.800 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:44:35.540 but it's his recent number one hit Darling that put Chase on the map

00:44:38.540 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:44:43.800 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:44:45.160 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:44:46.520 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthews.

00:44:49.520 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:44:52.760 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:44:57.380 And we're back. Question for you. I'm about to go out to, I have a lunch with a friend. Do you find splitting the bill to be gauche? I do not. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I struggle with this.

00:45:15.280 Versus the, you'll get me next time. I'll get you next time.

00:45:18.000 Well, cause I had a, I had a, um, near nervous breakdown a few weeks ago.

00:45:23.060 I had dinner with someone.

00:45:24.160 It was our first time having dinner together.

00:45:27.040 Uh, and I was like, you know what?

00:45:29.900 I'm going to get this.

00:45:31.520 Okay.

00:45:33.020 And then regretted it.

00:45:34.160 And she protested, you know, she was like, no, like, what are you talking about?

00:45:37.720 Like, and I, you know what, no, let me, let me be a big, uh, let me bring out the big

00:45:41.900 guns here.

00:45:42.260 Let me feel special.

00:45:43.200 Let me, let me pick it up.

00:45:43.960 Right.

00:45:44.140 And then on the way home, I, and this is like post pandemic of like social anxiety, like took over. And I was like, was that weird of me to insist on paying? Like, of course not. But for some reason it haunted me. And then today I'm like going to this, this brunch and I'm like, shouldn't I, should I, should we split it? You know, I'm already getting anxious. It's crazy.

00:46:05.320 well i think it's i mean i i unfortunately it's deeply case by case you know like if if i feel 0.74

00:46:14.940 like you know in our in our world yeah like we are you know at times dead ass broke right yes

00:46:23.640 or like no if one person listen if one person's broke and the other one like randomly a showbiz

00:46:29.000 money coming in hundred percent and you're like we're the same i just happen to have money coming

00:46:34.540 I've actually been horrified by a, someone at least 10 years older than me who has, you

00:46:41.320 know, owns their home, very rich, splitting a bill with me. 1.00

00:46:43.660 I'm like, go to fucking hell. 1.00

00:46:45.140 Like, like you should be practiced at. 1.00

00:46:48.720 Like I, if I were like, here I am, I own my home, I own my life.

00:46:53.520 And I'm going, I would be like thrilled to be like, I'll pick up the bill for this person.

00:46:58.260 Like, you know, first you have to own your home before you can even own your life.

00:47:01.640 like like I have enough money to own my home but in a couple years I'm gonna own my life oh but

00:47:08.320 here's what made me laugh sometimes it's about like not insulting you yeah right like I know

00:47:13.640 that you don't have the money that I have but you're you're doing okay no but listen to this

00:47:17.940 just now I was like oh well this person I never got them a wedding present

00:47:21.520 I'm just picking up so like I never like imagine I pick I go I never got you a wedding gift I

00:47:28.500 think that's funny they're like they're like oh you paid so you're spending you know 30 dollars

00:47:33.540 right on me when you're like and and then you get the bill and then you go you go and then you go

00:47:40.220 made out like a bandit i guess or something right right no but that's what's so sick i can't pretend

00:47:45.660 this is a wedding present well i think it's funny i never got you a wedding present and then you go

00:47:50.660 and i wasn't planning on spending more than 30 like hey it's it's two more of your 0.96

00:47:56.540 fucking wine glasses off your registry right god the registry and the like oh somebody's getting 0.98

00:48:05.020 into baking of course there's nothing more naked than a registry i've don't you love to find i've 0.99

00:48:11.220 love to find people's wedding register registries of people i know but against their will well oh

00:48:16.520 yeah they're easy i've like found you just google their names yeah honey oh my god people are really

00:48:21.160 on instagram like really you know you find people that you went to school with or that you were

00:48:26.160 fascinated by because for whatever reason you just type in the names there it goes you're on

00:48:32.660 the registry i found a um wow a teenage a girl who in middle school called me gay kate pete

00:48:41.060 referred to me as gay kate the name spread like a wildfire um it's one of the funniest things

00:48:48.520 with wit that with wit that with wit that alluring how could it not yeah um i found her

00:48:57.520 wedding registry and she let me tell you oh mama she had like these wine glasses that unfortunately 0.93

00:49:06.220 were exquisite but they were like 150 like a glass like i'm not exaggerating like maybe 120 1.00

00:49:11.020 they were over 100 oh my god and i was like this fucking bitch now what made them cost that and i 0.99

00:49:17.800 don't mean that they were beautiful they oh no so they were like art they were like hand blown in 0.99

00:49:22.780 some weird way and they were like each one had their own little flourish i don't know if i want

00:49:28.940 it i don't know what i want i don't know if i would want the hand blown hand blown it sounds

00:49:35.440 like what i'm describing is like a key west hell like bubbles like like that's not what i'm talking

00:49:41.220 about like where there's bubbles in the glass beautiful it was something gorgeous hey speaking

00:49:45.380 of um big purchases i stayed in last night to avoid uh to you know flatten the curve and um

00:49:51.800 god that phrase has disappeared it sure has and i was huge last year purchased an area rug for my

00:49:58.980 living room jacqueline because as we know my new couch has changed my life i sent you the photo

00:50:03.660 actually i don't believe you responded or i sent you the link joking i sent you the link because

00:50:07.880 i got excited of course i responded did you what'd you say oh i thought i know i'm saying that

00:50:12.240 because you sent me an ebay link yeah and you're like i just bought this and it seemed like

00:50:18.640 reasonably priced like 300 bucks or something it was definitely more than that but it was um

00:50:23.280 it was infinitely not infinitely more it was more than that but it was on sale i went to this and

00:50:28.020 this felt like an act of god because i went onto the etsy store i had been looking at this rug and

00:50:31.820 it goes sales for another yeah it was like on sale for another four hours half off funny i didn't get

00:50:37.660 I didn't get a text saying, this is your chance to get this deal.

00:50:41.840 Okay, I want all texts anytime a deal is seen.

00:50:45.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:46.480 But it's kind of a blue, purplish tone, kind of a big swing for me.

00:50:52.340 Wow. 1.00

00:50:52.840 It has like a subtle shag, Moroccan. 1.00

00:50:55.780 I went for it. 1.00

00:50:56.680 And it was just because the old me would have, the old me,

00:51:00.100 but I took out the tape measure.

00:51:01.500 This felt to me like a huge triumph.

00:51:03.400 Took out the tape measure.

00:51:04.860 Yes.

00:51:05.180 and and actually measured i ended up getting nine by ten if you can believe it i can you got you

00:51:12.860 you gotta go big and i i mean i only buy like i don't i've never bought an expensive rug but

00:51:18.240 or a true rug particularly given the discount i had to jump on it but uh normally i would freeze

00:51:23.800 and go i need to like i need to consult more people i need to really think about this can

00:51:26.900 i really handle blue rug like that feels oh you can you know what color is that is it blue it's

00:51:31.860 kind of purplish whatever took the plunge because there's a there's a quote this has always haunted

00:51:37.180 me it was in the sopranos i think i talked about it or the no more is lost by indecision than the

00:51:41.280 wrong decision which haunts me every waking moment you can't yeah it's a and then you'll know what 0.91

00:51:46.640 that feels like and it's not that big a deal it's not that big fucking deal you'll deal with it 0.77

00:51:50.160 you'll you'll experience you'll have that life experience you'll maybe one day you'll love it 0.90

00:51:54.640 I hate it in there.

00:51:58.300 Okay, or you quickly sell it off for slightly, you know, less.

00:52:03.600 You consider it was a $50 trial and you just throw it on OfferUp.

00:52:07.080 Or more.

00:52:08.280 Or more. 0.99

00:52:09.200 I make a killing. 0.98

00:52:10.320 More you make a killing.

00:52:12.260 And you can say a scene on POOG and everyone will have your address.

00:52:18.560 I try to sell it off to the POOG listeners, yeah.

00:52:20.600 Hold on, I want to say a couple things.

00:52:21.760 one the reason I gasped because I felt like bad because like you sent you sent me so you sent me

00:52:27.660 a link you're like I just bought this rug and I must have misread it as eBay and even though eBay

00:52:32.880 is filled with new products whatever I just go second hand I go second hand even after the moths

00:52:38.460 that was my response okay and you were like no it's custom okay and I was like okay good I just

00:52:44.760 briefly was like like doubting you like that you were like like that you brought these things on

00:52:49.320 yourself you know what I mean you're about to do it again I have to say that yesterday I was

00:52:53.000 thinking about the moths and I was like this profound um I felt proud because I was like you

00:53:00.120 know what I figured it out myself I remember the flesh flies folks they're gone okay and then rats

00:53:06.640 in the basement the rat guy came sealed up the house oh that's wonderful again never has a rat

00:53:11.500 been in my home but they're in the basement and it just we've talked about this but the tasks that

00:53:16.720 you fear and you actually start chipping away at them it's euphoria yeah it's euphoria and and

00:53:22.360 the way that the fear is outsized to the task similarly is the euphoria outsized when you then 0.96

00:53:29.940 then do it it's astonishing the energy it can free up fuck i mean when you just yeah i wanted to say 0.94

00:53:36.440 no this is just a just this is a moment before we leave that um at my show the other night there 0.99

00:53:42.140 were three maybe two or three pook hags i faintly saw in the back row they had made their own 0.95

00:53:47.320 sweatshirts oh my god so beautiful and it was like i think and i winked at them from the stage 0.99

00:53:52.560 yeah you got to there there was a gal who i never got to acknowledge but she was in her own pook

00:53:58.520 hags sweatshirt in the front row i couldn't see it from the stage but my tour manager alerted me 0.97

00:54:03.380 and um now if they start trying to sell them that's a problem

00:54:08.340 so so then the other scariest thing was just when it was time to repel down you think climbing

00:54:16.980 here we go in order to in order to have a firm to to not just like be bobbing against the mountain

00:54:27.100 you have to lean back you can picture that right i remember that i remember that from right from

00:54:34.060 at the rock at the rock climbing gym alone terrifying so you have to lean all the way

00:54:38.040 back to be secure so it's one of those you're safer when you let go things you know like oh if

00:54:44.260 you clench you're less safe but clenching is obviously the the natural instinct it's like

00:54:49.880 those things where you have to where it's like for security you have to let go is just shocking

00:54:55.580 it's almost like um like avoiding a belly flop it's very spiritual you have to like go hard

00:55:02.600 you have to go harder to avoid the belly flop what do you mean into the pool yeah like

00:55:07.840 like back dive. Can you do a back dive? What do you think? No. Well, you have these like

00:55:16.240 interesting areas. Okay. No, thank you. I do feel that I am like a hidden athlete. Oh,

00:55:21.940 absolutely. It's so easy to picture. Diving, but flips for me, I get dizzy easily and water in the

00:55:28.460 ears. I start to panic around that kind of stuff. Water in the ears, nothing happens.

00:55:33.380 This is hysterical. All right. I'm going to teach you how to do a back dive. It will involve me

00:55:37.460 having to okay relearn myself okay remember the courage but i mean you have to fly backwards

00:55:44.160 right and arch your back like it's utter faith right and if you panic and sort of don't go right

00:55:52.040 then you're in trouble right yeah so it's like it's that it's it's that yeah it's like anything

00:55:59.880 like that where we're we're clenching hesitating oh you know it's another one i remember learning

00:56:04.840 this do you remember learning to drive and like the first time you learned to like change lanes

00:56:09.700 I felt like I remember like like slowing down like to such a degree like because it felt like

00:56:16.620 moving horizontally versus vertically it's more dangerous to slow down right and it's like no

00:56:22.400 keep the pace up and just turn the wheel and roll over I felt like I just stopped the car in order

00:56:26.780 to then move laterally you know what I mean yeah no I understand no it takes it it's a skill I

00:56:31.920 always over explain i don't know i don't know why do you love driving yeah as you know i was

00:56:39.020 shocked that you even drove i've driven all over this country i've never seen you drive 13 hours

00:56:43.680 to go to certain gigs literally a one-nighter in topeka kansas jeremiah bullfrogs i've never oh my

00:56:50.320 god i know i've never seen you behind the wheel i know and meanwhile like we're gonna get behind

00:56:55.720 the wheel you know what we're gonna do when we take poog on the road imagine us in the car okay

00:57:00.020 we're not going to do that but I was like imagine we decorated the car 0.98

00:57:02.080 with poo. No I think we

00:57:03.240 I think it would have to be at that

00:57:06.000 point you know

00:57:07.440 right it's like if we're going to be if it's going to be

00:57:09.780 visibly a thing then it has to be a very

00:57:11.820 highly secured tour bus.

00:57:13.980 Of course we'd have to have. Our names

00:57:15.700 very secured.

00:57:17.080 Have you ever been in a tour bus like and

00:57:19.800 slept in one?

00:57:22.560 Naked? What?

00:57:23.980 What'd you say? No I said have you ever been in a

00:57:25.820 tour bus and slept in one? Oh

00:57:27.460 of course I was on tour. Are you kidding me?

00:57:29.600 i opened for father john misty uh in whatever year that was and i was on a tour bus for a month i

00:57:37.060 think it was 33 days in fact well and i slept every and by the way had so much anxiety about

00:57:43.040 leading up to it because i was like what do i bring and oh my god i'm gonna be living on the

00:57:46.600 bus where are you gonna go to the bathroom all men one woman but she's in the back like like i

00:57:51.100 was gonna be sleeping in the coffin in the cubbies with like the tour manager the guitarist like the 0.85

00:57:56.000 the people and i in steerage so to speak fucking happiest i've ever been in my life 0.99

00:58:02.220 you loved it fucking loved it in the coffin in my little bunk bed coffin 0.99

00:58:07.780 in heaven i stayed i stayed in a i was in one of those cubbies for like a couple nights on 0.99

00:58:15.120 the road once and um there was a little plug like an outlet inside of it and that was everything to

00:58:22.340 me do you know what I mean oh yeah like you're in there with your phone you're plugged it you're

00:58:26.900 charging it was I had again it's like a coffin right it's like a little curtain you're in there

00:58:33.300 I had a stack of books that I barely touched it at the ADD by my head I had I remember at night

00:58:40.700 because I was so fixated ahead of the tour of like how am I gonna like because I love bathing

00:58:45.060 so much you know and I love that I was like I mean I washing my face in the horrifying bus sink

00:58:50.260 you know but but I was I was free I mean restriction really does create freedom like

00:58:55.340 I was completely oh I mean I remember on the final day single tear our final day of tour was

00:59:01.420 also the day Lou Reed died I think and I remember a single tear falling down my cheek I didn't want

00:59:07.300 it to I didn't want it to end and that was when Neutrogena face wipes changed my life because I

00:59:11.820 by the way my skin was unbelievable my skin was so good on that tour was it the joy was it the

00:59:18.320 lack of water. That's one thing I've been thinking about is overwatering the face. It's a little

00:59:22.880 scary. It's a little scary. Water is, water is death. Yeah. My sister once met a woman who had

00:59:30.240 absolutely incredible skin. She was in her seventies or something. I mean, this is how I 1.00

00:59:35.260 remember it. I might be kind of wrong. Never lets water touch her face. Stop, stop, stop. I believe

00:59:40.700 it. Okay. I'm almost, no, no. I was about to be like, I vowed to not let water touch my face for

00:59:44.980 a month see what happens now because i'm in the shower but to not it might take longer you could

00:59:50.680 still do it you could still not i think we should avoid it i think we should avoid it i think like 0.96

00:59:56.000 but then how do you cleansing i don't get it okay i have to go oh fuck wait hold on a second i know 0.85

01:00:03.680 you have to go but there was i just want to drop something that because i was done that before i 0.86

01:00:07.140 forget now even if it's for next time oh i know what it is all right can i do it in one minute

01:00:13.340 because i think it's worth it yeah go so i loved the cubby on the tour bus however i had profound

01:00:18.700 anxiety about not being seat belted there's no seat belt in the coffin cubby sleep holes no and

01:00:24.300 that really freaked me out because i feel like again it's this thing where you know you know

01:00:30.300 like this is how it happens people think they're invincible because they're on tour and then and

01:00:35.180 then so i couldn't really sleep and then i got out of my my thing at one point and i sort of rolled 0.80

01:00:41.580 into the front area and I became convinced that the driver was masturbating. I was looking 0.51

01:00:49.040 at him, I saw some motions and movements and I, and I'm like, first I'm like, is he falling

01:00:52.820 asleep? Is he nodding off? Okay. Cause I felt like we were sort of roaming and, you know,

01:00:57.860 drifting. I thought I saw us drifting on this highway, kind of into their lane, but it could

01:01:02.740 be like that strategic sort of drifting where like there's no one on the road. And so he's

01:01:07.440 just making the angles not quite as I mean you should stay in your goddamn lane nonetheless but 0.91

01:01:11.340 do you know what I mean making the angles of the curves not quite yes and I just and so I was like 0.91

01:01:15.520 I was like I was like I was like long night or something like like just very trying to make my

01:01:24.420 presence known and hoping that he would like you know and then it almost became the question and 0.54

01:01:28.840 like these are pros this guy is a pro he's been doing this for fucking 30 years you know what I

01:01:33.460 mean like oh yeah but i just i don't know i really i really was afraid and then i felt like i had to

01:01:39.880 stay up and chat with him listen i similarly i remember when i was doing that tour the tour bus 0.96

01:01:45.120 driver who was fuck what was his name god damn it was like bear or hawk or something and he was like 0.96

01:01:50.440 he had been he had hit all his tour bands all his tour like um lanyards like he had toured you know 0.99

01:01:58.520 for like Ozzy like back when like he was a grizzled like grizzled grizzled Jesus Christ 0.94

01:02:05.480 read a fucking book Kate and um they're both good words and you knew them both uh anyway he was 0.94

01:02:12.920 and I'm but I was like looking at him I was like my life is in your hands which is what's 0.98

01:02:17.220 what's the truth and I'll just say briefly I recently had a bit of a argument sounds like

01:02:21.580 not the word but I recently had to confront a Lyft driver because in a tear he was falling asleep oh

01:02:27.080 wow it was terrifying that's really disturbing we were we were at a stoplight i was looking out

01:02:33.300 the window and i saw his head kind of go down and i thought oh he's like looking at something

01:02:37.660 and the light changed oh no he didn't move and then the car behind honked and i saw his head

01:02:42.680 jut up and he went and so i thought oh maybe he was distracted i mean that's still not great but 0.79

01:02:46.860 then it happened to fucking again i saw him we weren't even on a stoplight just some traffic 0.98

01:02:51.360 and i saw his eyes and then i kind of moved my head his fucking eyes were closed and i said to 0.98

01:02:56.280 him like hey i was like if you're really tired like you gotta let me know oh my god you know 0.96

01:03:02.540 and i tried to i was i was like i understand like you're just you're tired like it happens but like

01:03:07.140 you have to tell me you don't want him to start defending like you don't want him to start feeling 0.91

01:03:11.200 no exactly i'm like i'm like just yes you're overworked like just fucking let me know that 0.90

01:03:16.660 you are that you're falling asleep and he denied it he denied it which made me and i was like i was 0.93

01:03:23.300 like i'm watching you i was like i can see that you're falling asleep yes no i like i'm blown

01:03:27.680 away by this good for you no i absolutely confronted him i was like i can see that

01:03:31.620 you're falling asleep so you need to either tell me that i'm going to get out right here on this

01:03:35.280 corner or and then of course so then i was but then you know he denied denied and then he like

01:03:42.760 kind of snapped to it and then was awake and then he was like are you gonna give me a low rating and

01:03:47.820 like we got into it and i was like no i'm not but like if you're feeling tired like right yeah no i

01:03:55.840 think that's right like you don't have to you don't have to penalize him but you can say like

01:03:59.860 you just like you can't do this sir yeah like this is fucking insane okay i have to go love you

01:04:07.580 i love you so much that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review if not 0.94

01:04:16.380 We will press charges.

01:04:20.380 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

01:04:24.340 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

01:04:28.260 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

01:04:32.080 No, I am not your guru.

01:04:35.740 Back then, I lied to everybody.

01:04:38.060 They have had this case for 30 years.

01:04:41.000 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

01:04:43.660 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:05:13.660 Chase Matthew. Listen and subscribe on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

01:05:19.060 to podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - December 28, 2021

Line It As It Is

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