Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Movie Theater Epiphanies

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:27.320 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:57.320 Chase Matthew, listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:00.880 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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00:01:34.840 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:36.300 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.400 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:42.120 Two untameable intellects.

00:01:43.900 This is our hobby. 0.93

00:01:44.760 This is our hell.

00:01:45.620 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.880 This is POOG.

00:01:49.320 Today's topic, loosely speaking, cats away.

00:01:52.220 Chris Cooper Resorts.

00:01:55.300 Well, today's a very special cruise because the cat's away and the mice will play.

00:02:02.480 Yes, they will.

00:02:03.020 That's right.

00:02:03.700 They'd have forgotten about the recording. 1.00

00:02:05.660 So the little hags are here all alone. 0.96

00:02:07.980 The little hags. 0.96

00:02:09.500 With no watchful eye. 0.90

00:02:11.160 I know.

00:02:11.880 Without a mother's eye, what will happen to them?

00:02:14.040 What will happen?

00:02:14.480 Will we run off the rails? 1.00

00:02:18.720 What if we go off the fucking rails? 1.00

00:02:22.080 Deeply in the rail, you know, out of terror. 1.00

00:02:25.300 train tracks yes or no do you like walking alongside them weaving onto the right you know

00:02:30.800 do you enjoy that flirtation the danger living in new york for so long the third rail the third

00:02:35.800 the threat of the third rail was always well they had an assembly wait because there is none in la

00:02:41.040 like i mean there's no i mean there are trains there i guess and the third rail is how most

00:02:45.800 trains operate but there was a full assembly in my elementary school strictly devoted to the third

00:02:50.620 rail and warning the children i guess like there had to have been some serious third world deaths

00:02:55.360 how could the children even get down there is the truth yeah i think i mean i guess they're playing

00:02:59.720 you know you're showing off climbing in the mountain yeah like heading down the like they

00:03:03.180 you know bust in like they sneak onto the tracks but i always thought well first of all i mean how

00:03:09.360 can there be something exposed okay at all that's that danger yeah that if you touch it you're dead

00:03:14.760 like that's crazy i know you're begging for it and that there isn't like a glass tube you're

00:03:22.120 begging you're so right please there should not you're that's so funny my other thing about the

00:03:27.260 third rail is like this is just a thing in my head is that um i've always thought it would be

00:03:31.300 funny to be a third rail denier okay so like like a holocaust denier like i'm like you know it's

00:03:36.560 fake right oh my god it won't kill you that's totally fine just like like i think it's a

00:03:40.900 conspiracy theory you you saying that thing about it being exposed like yeah i'm always shocked

00:03:46.380 people aren't just like dying constantly i mean people are dying constantly obviously but i mean

00:03:50.180 like it's amazing that we go like yeah i have this experience where if i'm if i'm in my car

00:03:55.360 and i'm stopped at a light and let's say there's like an old man crossing the street i'm like yes

00:03:59.200 how the hell did you make it this far like the miracle of not dying is so overwhelming to me

00:04:05.520 and when i see something like seeing like a like elderly people or even just someone just casually

00:04:10.920 in their late 50s which is still young by all the court it's like look at that streak you're like

00:04:15.680 it's 50 years without death shocking like like you've evaded death every day for 50 years if

00:04:22.280 you created a human like you were able to create a human today right and you were like okay i made

00:04:26.720 this incredible thing right this machine and you like send out in the world you'd be like watching 0.99

00:04:31.500 it like it's fucked surely it's fucked like it's gonna like it's like well it has intelligence you 0.96

00:04:36.160 know it doesn't want to die usually you know yeah allegedly so you're like it's still going 1.00

00:04:43.020 like even like the the software robot that wants to live is still going it's like damn i was about

00:04:50.220 to just now as you were saying the robot i was about to be like i'm exhausted with ai and the

00:04:54.500 interest in it and like but then immediately i was like no there is something there i was immediately

00:04:59.180 like i wanted to just no dismiss um well i guess i'm exhausted with ai in film oh well so we've

00:05:07.160 certainly you know we've depleted the imagination of what's of the soul like we've depleted the

00:05:14.920 question of whether or not the robot can love also robots eyes opening and then turning and

00:05:20.140 then acknowledgement that's what i was about to be like i'm bored by that but i'm like there is

00:05:24.960 something kind of fundamentally yeah that fundamental question and of course i'm fascinated

00:05:29.520 by the idea of the devil right and i think the devil continues to be a motif that i'm absolutely

00:05:34.180 invested in in my work um completely interested in so you can't take your eye off you know that's

00:05:40.480 when no that's when he gets you i can't wait for i know we're thinking about it i know it's but we

00:05:46.160 are going to have interstellar poog and i can't wait all right we warned them i'm gonna have to

00:05:50.000 get on that we have to do that i have to make a note there was something you said anyway um

00:05:54.280 oh well that too i do okay so i want to talk about the foods i've been eating late at night

00:05:59.560 and you have as well i want to talk about that you know what i have here what what is that yeah

00:06:04.400 coffee la cologne iced coffee wow does that have uh wait i want to try to guess the milk based on

00:06:10.460 the color okay this by the way is a little darker my ideal tone of coffee my ideal color is i don't

00:06:16.920 even know how to describe it yeah yeah what is that i like there to be creaminess but i still

00:06:21.500 want it to maintain its brownness right um you don't want to push over into into just milk such

00:06:29.480 cream yeah i don't want like honestly last year made the huge revelation that i don't like lattes

00:06:34.380 and that that's lifted that elevated me because an iced latte if you go to a coffee shop yeah and

00:06:41.060 you watch them prepare an iced latte you go oh i'm sorry oh i'm a child a glass of milk yeah i'm

00:06:47.380 it's a glass glass of milk which by the way enjoy i'm i'm not here to degrade a latte enthusiast

00:06:54.980 but i'd go into a store that would sell a glass of milk and open that that'd be nice all right

00:07:00.580 go on the milk shop yeah i used to this is the power of advertising i've always been completely

00:07:07.560 seduced by advertising even as a very young child i was aware of like its effect on me was so

00:07:12.020 profound and milk like the got milk ads and also whatever was being pushed there in the 90s

00:07:18.840 for milk worked on me got in me got in my bones no pun intended so deeply that i would want to

00:07:26.400 drink a glass of milk after school and it was almost like national it was like a nationalist

00:07:30.040 impulse within me that somehow to like be strong and be like a good kid and be a good student like

00:07:34.940 i needed to drink a big glass of milk when i got home from school yeah there is a it's like it's

00:07:40.120 like brand it's um it's always protestant for you it's hysterical it always goes back to a

00:07:47.360 protestant ethos yeah yeah god i remember i probably talked about some food i don't know

00:07:53.200 but we had skim milk in um which i thought was skin milk as a young child but whatever

00:07:58.320 um it was like uh and then i remember i had i think two percent at my friend's house one day 0.85

00:08:04.560 it was a it was a goddamn revelation yeah can you imagine tasting that skim to two can't imagine

00:08:09.980 and going like and realizing skim was water the whole time oh yeah skim milk is blue yes it's 0.96

00:08:14.940 blue water exactly i um because as you know i don't have a dairy allergy although i do

00:08:20.880 mostly dabble on dairy milks oh right we never get to the milk i mean what is it oat this is

00:08:27.600 oat milk yeah which i everyone knows i'm trying to get off of it right um i for a long time making

00:08:33.560 my own milks um sorry and then i bought store-bought oatly and i was like oh who cares you know throw

00:08:39.860 health out the window we're gonna get into it oatly i'm sorry wait what's it's not good you

00:08:44.260 should not be drinking it every day is it carrageenan or the oat milk themselves it's the palm

00:08:48.040 oil yeah it's all that it's a highly processed food is the truth i'm sorry it's devastating

00:08:52.260 and so i but listen to me i bought some whole milk unreal the color of it too the red there is

00:09:00.820 nothing like it because i i associate the red is god i forgot about this in kindergarten it was

00:09:06.840 like some it was like so in kindergarten there was like the snack period or whatever and they

00:09:11.680 bring in this like you know tray of milks okay the little milks and the little mini cartons

00:09:16.520 and there were red ones and blue ones okay and i think i was and i think it was i think i was a

00:09:23.140 blue one i think blue was skim and red was whole and i was just used to skim at home my mother used

00:09:29.520 to also do a thing this is like again why i think i'm permanently dehydrated which is like so you

00:09:34.380 know there's two things i feel it was never modeled for me i've never heard her ask for water okay

00:09:38.020 but but like in someone's home but she used to um first of all water down orange juice like like

00:09:43.820 pour a little orange juice in a thing in a glass and then just like with the faucet fill it up it

00:09:48.300 was almost like this idea like i mean it was almost an early anti-juice and understanding

00:09:52.680 of juices shook very anti-juice behavior yeah and it was sort of like whoa and it was almost

00:09:57.380 this is like thing like like where she's just like oh well i hate like the density of juice so 1.00

00:10:02.340 but then she would also like be like oh let me get you a glass of water and then she would fill

00:10:06.040 it up like a third of the way like a small glass a tumbler yeah it's funny that we both have kind 0.91

00:10:11.300 of dehydrated mothers but what does that mean but wait milk god damn it there's something about 0.82

00:10:17.880 milk sorry you were talking about whole like i i took us away i got really excited no it's fine 0.58

00:10:22.160 but just yeah whole milk and oh this is what i was gonna say that my my mom about advertising

00:10:29.620 and that my mom you know a child of the 40s her belief in milk and meat but like milk and i remember

00:10:39.180 from a young age almost she was like osteoporosis strong bones milk and then i guess i was in a

00:10:46.620 young age but i started being like you know milk actually dairy it's actually kind of not true

00:10:50.300 right that's a that's like an advertising you're you're this is like a this is what you've learned

00:10:54.260 from advertising and we kind of got into it oh wow no but i really wanted to i was trying to

00:11:01.200 tell her that like that's just not true and um her belief in milk and milk as calcium and bone

00:11:08.740 as calcium and protein which is true there's more protein in a glass of milk than there than there

00:11:13.100 is in a glass of oat milk i mean essentially you know oat milk right is less healthy than a glass

00:11:18.060 how can oat milk have any protein oh i know it's freaking out i mean i guess wait but how do you

00:11:24.920 get calcium other is calcium one of those ones that you know how they're like you have to eat

00:11:28.760 a banana for your potassium and it's like no actually you could get it from spinach you you

00:11:32.160 banana hog calcium is i believe super prevalent in greens wow um and sesame seeds tahini wow

00:11:41.240 sesame there's like so much calcium in tahini i want to just write a love letter to tahini

00:11:45.920 god yeah when you realize when you realize the hummus was tahini the whole time i know i mean

00:11:51.740 i don't know if that's even true but i feel like i had a moment dragging a pickle through a hummus

00:11:55.940 where it was like my friend got this jar of tahini and we just started dipping things in it and i

00:12:01.640 wait is there tahini in hummus am i dead wrong do you know what i'm saying well i mean you can

00:12:06.520 have a pure chickpea hummus i'm humiliated right now don't be um you typically i wouldn't if i

00:12:13.000 making an at-home hummus, tahini would be glorious in there. But usually, no, the creaminess is just

00:12:20.420 there. You'll add some olive oil, perhaps. Oh God, I'm hungry. Maybe it's Jewish. I'm looking

00:12:26.740 at it because I Googled it and it's going classic Jewish revenue. And that's, maybe that's where 0.98

00:12:30.060 I'm getting it from. What does tahini? Are you not into baba ganoush? I, okay. Adore the cold 0.70

00:12:37.540 round flavors of baba ganoush okay absolutely and yet sometimes i knew there was something here

00:12:45.620 i get yeah with eggplant itchy mouth itchy mouth okay and because i have other allergies i'm like

00:12:50.020 is this am i progressing the allergy with every taste yeah and moving it forward towards full

00:12:54.560 blown anaphylaxis well guess what you know i talk about edging in relation to allergies i oh right

00:13:02.580 pineapple okay so no bananas a little bit but i eat them all the time walnuts but i earlier in

00:13:09.240 the air was it three years ago due to covid all time has collapsed but i ate a cookie from erwan

00:13:15.840 that had an almond flour based chocolate chocolate chip cookie my mouth starts to itch the next day

00:13:21.660 it's still itching it's red on the inside folks i go to the doctor because i'm scared my tongue

00:13:26.340 feels a little bit larger yeah i get there they go you have to go to the er what because if your

00:13:30.480 tongue continues to expand it's going to block your windpipe we're going to you're going to die

00:13:34.200 on the ground absolute sheer terror my my lower stomach just sees the terror was alone in glendale

00:13:39.220 which is already very hard and i proceeded to call my call 14 people i went drove myself to 0.90

00:13:47.100 the goddamn er and it's i was completely fine yeah but just being there in the narrative of 0.81

00:13:53.100 i'm at the er i started to get completely woozy i kind of limped up to the window my god 0.98

00:14:00.080 and so they're gonna tell me my my tongue is gonna expand i'm not gonna be able to breathe

00:14:05.200 and they're like can you breathe and i said yes but i soon might not be able to i'm sorry yeah

00:14:10.300 and then i went my mother came thank god and i was laid down they intravenously no intravenous

00:14:17.280 intravenously gave me steroids and i was fine but uh wait i have something to say well two things

00:14:24.140 one okay theta has arrived story was not well told it has arrived or she's waiting to be let

00:14:29.280 in we'll let her in in a second because i want to i don't want to break um the thought the thought

00:14:32.920 yeah okay but there's two things about um the allergy thing oh i once heard this story from

00:14:38.220 this this man that that he was in a doctor's office with some kind of issue maybe it was

00:14:42.820 i don't think it was allergy though it was some kind of reaction to something maybe he's like

00:14:46.220 and the doctor was like saw what was happening and was like in a couple seconds you're not going to

00:14:50.420 be able to breathe okay and he's like what and then he couldn't breathe and the doctor like

00:14:54.560 took out a scalpel and just like no tracheotomy made him like like with a single like they lifted

00:15:00.440 up like a sword and just okay just like opened up his throat and like tracheotomy is trach also in

00:15:07.280 film i hate that that exists like trach doing a you know back alley trach in film in action movies

00:15:13.480 like oh we got to trach him quick with a pen that whole spirit i don't think i've seen that but i

00:15:16.880 hate that sensational like i want us all to learn to all to know and then the wait there was something

00:15:22.180 damn it i was dying to tell you about oh osteo the osteo question you know that we almost have

00:15:28.360 to go to break but we do bring an osteoporosis into the conversation as you bring that and what 0.96

00:15:32.580 will be fun is as we'll bring that and go we're just finishing up our first 15 it'll be radical

00:15:36.760 do you remember what the vitamins were there were little chocolate squares this is also my mother

00:15:40.900 calcium active by active yes the calcium and there's like candy cast calcium chews and i

00:15:46.180 remember also it's like my early interest in kind of like food as like what was poison or something

00:15:51.380 Yes. Because I remember being like, I don't think that's really calcium. And she was really

00:15:55.100 hell bent on goddamn biactive. And the biactive chews were a permanent presence in the home. 1.00

00:16:00.980 Chews as a noun is funny. A chew. Like chewing vitamins. Like if you go to an adult,

00:16:05.860 an adult who's insisting on chewable vitamins, an adult who has gummy vitamins in their home.

00:16:11.340 Well, look into the camera, Kate. You're looking at one right now. I was trying to figure the best

00:16:17.240 way to say it like you're staring into the eyes of one right now what shoes no i actually don't

00:16:21.880 right now okay but i i there have been periods in my life where i go like it's you know swallowing

00:16:26.760 supplements is kind of exhausting um you know someone who doesn't drink enough water it it's

00:16:31.460 like it's quite a challenge to take all those sips and so there have been times where i'm like if they

00:16:36.440 were chewy if i was able to have a bag of gummy bears where each one was an individual supplement

00:16:41.000 right yes of course that i put together dream world be a dream however you know i began

00:16:46.400 researching and they're all filled with sugar availability it's absolute hell okay we gotta go

00:16:51.360 we gotta go oh and that too yeah all right let me um okay we'll be right back all right

00:16:54.800 this is writer strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather it was many and many a

00:17:04.160 year ago in a kingdom by the sea in 1995 my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune

00:17:10.900 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:17:12.300 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:17:15.920 So no, I am not your guru.

00:17:19.700 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:17:22.320 I lied to police.

00:17:23.600 I lied to everybody.

00:17:24.600 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:17:27.560 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:17:30.240 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:17:32.920 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:17:36.460 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:17:39.320 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:17:40.900 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.98

00:17:43.940 I'll teach you sons of **** to come around here and my wife. 0.97

00:17:46.960 Boom, boom. 0.99

00:17:48.280 This is The Red Weather.

00:17:51.260 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:17:58.180 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:18:02.080 He is edgy.

00:18:02.900 He's fun.

00:18:03.880 He is Chase Matthews.

00:18:05.440 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:18:08.080 but it's his recent number one hit, Darling, that put Chase on the map

00:18:11.180 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:18:16.440 That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:18:19.340 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:18:22.060 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:18:32.600 Okay, and we're back, and we're going to let Theda in and let her know what has occurred.

00:18:38.080 Or do we prank her and pretend we haven't started yet and then start and then go, we're done.

00:18:42.980 Oh, my God.

00:18:43.320 You know what I'm saying?

00:18:44.000 After two?

00:18:44.320 I think she'll be really proud that we did her first segment.

00:18:47.540 Here she comes.

00:18:50.060 Theta America.

00:18:52.600 So, hey, Theta.

00:18:54.300 So, you'll be thrilled to know that we just wrapped our first 15.

00:18:58.800 And we let the people know that.

00:19:00.000 And now we've just started.

00:19:01.220 We're 30 seconds into the second one.

00:19:02.860 We told the people they know that you're coming in.

00:19:05.700 We let you in.

00:19:06.560 The excitement.

00:19:07.240 The thrill.

00:19:08.080 um welcome the mice were away the cat was away and the mice did play yeah um and we and boy did

00:19:16.760 we play oh theta theta we're cooking it's all good we're flying okay great okay so back to

00:19:23.680 back to osteoporosis yes oh they i have an anecdote yeah i've probably told you this this

00:19:29.420 is one of those like things that has stuck in my head ever since i heard it you know how like

00:19:33.440 you always hear about old people like breaking their hip okay of course those are my greatest

00:19:37.340 fears they fall and break their hip this was then it all goes to hell because the bone breaks and

00:19:41.420 releases toxins into their system i think that's what it is okay the bones have well 80 years of

00:19:47.280 poison in them and then it breaks and it like it i i mean no no hey look it up i don't have time

00:19:52.340 but i think that's what it is okay that's interesting well what i was gonna say was

00:19:55.440 this was the anecdote stunned me okay or the sort of verbal flip they go they didn't fall and break

00:20:01.200 their hip their hip broke and so they fell take that in for a minute take that in for a minute

00:20:06.100 oh no i thought we're gonna be like they're pushed by an angel i didn't know what you were

00:20:09.460 saying um that is so do you see like the weakness of the bone oh my gosh talk about chicken or the

00:20:16.580 egg yeah talk about chicken or the egg and yeah they're not all just slipping and falling on

00:20:21.000 their hip i mean it's like that's why it's a thing they're they're shattering and i know that

00:20:24.680 there's a kind of osteo thing and at least genetically somewhat in my family i know that

00:20:29.740 my mom osteopenia or something it's not osteo whatever but yeah i've got yeah something's

00:20:34.580 going on halfway and i'm wondering if i'm so you got a strength train doing enough oh well i just

00:20:40.280 i just read something late in the night in addition to strength train are you ready yeah you pound the

00:20:44.740 bones themselves they get stronger okay shut up so think of a martial arts uh person pounding on 0.54

00:20:50.500 the wood okay like with their with the side of their hand boom boom boom or their shin or their

00:20:55.440 elbow pound your own bone just it's not it's not just that they finally figure out how to

00:21:00.400 you know maneuver their chi okay to break the the wood the bone gets stronger okay there's micro

00:21:06.820 tears and then a honeycomb structure forms just like a muscle so it's a similar thing to a muscle

00:21:11.000 but with the bone and you get these stronger bones so you can strengthen your bone okay

00:21:16.440 through pounding it and i'm starting to think that's crazy i'm listening i'm interested

00:21:21.060 theragun on the bone honeycomb by the honeycomb like derailed me you said honeycomb and then i

00:21:26.780 was like honeycomb and thinking about honey think about honey non-stop now but yeah well yeah it's

00:21:31.340 always been big for you you're always about physical manipulation i can't help it um which

00:21:35.380 i love about you you bring that to the table and yet i also i also feel that you know you know

00:21:40.660 everything health-wise starts in the on the energetic plane and you know if you could nip

00:21:44.620 it in the bud there then further downstream it won't land in the flesh is the is the promise

00:21:49.240 that they um you know the promise of the the healing world the spritzes and like the spritzes

00:21:56.040 and such just to derail us or go somewhere new, not new, but I had kind of a, I'm realizing 1.00

00:22:03.540 something about myself and this is also deeply Pugian and potentially threatening the very

00:22:08.140 thesis of Pug itself. But I'm realizing for myself, I, of course, as we all know, have an

00:22:13.080 addiction to thinking, right? Me too. Me too. Me too. The disease of perception runs deep for me,

00:22:18.680 et cetera. I cannot continue to have epiphanies. I think my reliance on epiphanies is really

00:22:27.520 damaging. I'm sorry. This is quite simply huge. I know. I know. And I'm like, I don't really know

00:22:33.880 what to do anymore because I seek epiphanies. I seek them out. I work my way into them. I have

00:22:39.760 them. I have this kind of, you know, experience I'm suddenly released from something. And you

00:22:45.060 know this is one of my closest friends free i'm constantly searching for when i free you it's a

00:22:49.660 it's a by proxy truth you free me i'm looking into people's eyes free me free me yes and i'm like

00:22:55.060 and it's it's not as simple as oh i have to fear myself no it's that we'll never get out no no i

00:23:01.000 wasn't making that point yeah no no no i know i'm just saying that like my epiphanies and the way

00:23:05.200 i'm like i got it this is what it is right totally like and of course that like

00:23:11.220 well we're addicted to that and you and me are addicted to that and that's why poog

00:23:17.440 that is why the thesis of poog is continuous epiphanies right or the the promise of these

00:23:22.520 epiphanies and like even in this even in my acknowledgement of no more epiphanies

00:23:26.260 it's happening right now and i didn't even notice either i can't even get out i know i'm like i'm

00:23:30.780 like this is what it is now but my i mean as i think i've said i'm poog my therapist literally

00:23:36.080 told me to go to therapy less which is just unbelievable that's a real sensational because

00:23:40.460 And she was like, that's a real thing. You're processing. You're like, I am addicted to

00:23:43.960 processing. I over process. And then it's a new, here's what it is. Finally got to the bottom of

00:23:48.700 it. Actually, the whole time I thought it was this, it's actually this. Right. And then I,

00:23:52.200 yes. White knuckle grip onto it. Yep. I feel it slip through my fingers and then that leads to

00:23:56.700 despair. And what I actually have to do is kind of go, there actually are no epiphanies. Yes.

00:24:01.100 The ambiguity and the, you know, living in the gray, learning to live with the discomfort and

00:24:05.520 the not knowing that is, well, that is, you know, that's the true spiritual path, right? That's what,

00:24:09.920 that's why we meditate, right? Ideally is to no longer, um, it's just to, to sit and feel that we

00:24:16.320 have to whiten up knuckle grip. No, no, this, I mean, it's, it's pretty stunning. Cause it actually

00:24:20.820 kind of does reveal it. Cause this is my, I mean, this, this is my absolute same profound issue.

00:24:26.120 It's like, you know, we share certain things and we different, I mean, 100%, my absolute issue is

00:24:30.460 trying to think my way out of everything, believing I can think my way of everything,

00:24:33.600 believing that I can, and this was a big depression thing for me, searching for the

00:24:37.900 right metaphor for my depression so that once i locked on the right one then the metaphor would

00:24:42.820 reveal the answer you know like if depression is like is a is is a wave rocking up the beach

00:24:48.420 then go further upstream you know it's like depression is is a sand eroding then run into 0.94

00:24:53.640 the ocean fuck you know like which is it right it's scrambling scrambling so it's like it's like 0.77

00:24:58.340 scrambling for it you get a brief lift of course you know similar to the skincare product that's 0.99

00:25:02.700 why i would almost argue that for you and me okay having epiphanies around skin care right believing

00:25:09.100 in the next product is actually for us a healthier expression of that same like mechanism in us i

00:25:16.360 like then doing it for our lives so once again right right but yeah epiphanies the satisfaction

00:25:21.480 of epiphany for me an epiphany is the sudden belief i always think of it as spiritual or

00:25:25.920 psychological dollar signs it's the same thing for me it's like it's like just like a cartoon

00:25:29.400 character like dollar sizes their eyes it's like it's like I have it with like oh I figured out

00:25:33.000 how to not experience pain if I can just remember to blah blah blah if I can I used to feel this

00:25:38.340 way about the joy luck club are you familiar the film I've never seen it and I believe this has

00:25:43.180 come up oh you're gonna love it you're gonna love it it's um every time I watch the joy luck club

00:25:51.940 I feel that I understand life at the end and I'm like this is why I have to remember to watch the

00:25:55.520 joy luck club monthly you know and then nine years go by i know and i'm like oh i did it again i forgot

00:26:01.540 to watch the club i know i know but the belief that i can hold in my head yeah the feeling what

00:26:08.620 the feeling of walking out of a theater let's just take a second with that oh up the up the angle no

00:26:14.280 i know it's changed a lot because now with stadium seating well now it's over no no theaters but no

00:26:19.340 no but there's and that's the thing that's why we with children is that when you and the credits

00:26:24.240 control you turn to the person next to you you get your bag and you walk out and you've been

00:26:30.780 transformed and you have the new life lessons and you go and now and you walk into the cold light

00:26:35.660 of day and you are the you are absolutely reborn you've been baptized belly of the beast that is

00:26:41.140 the darkness of the theater communal baptism that we no longer have and i'm sorry marvel ain't gonna

00:26:47.260 baptize actually that's not fair that's kind of actually marvel can i want to say yeah i want to

00:26:51.740 take that back yeah but well i've never been baptized in the in the cold waters of marvel

00:26:56.660 because i've never seen a marvel movie here i go again it sounds like i'm really you know

00:27:01.020 i'm really degrading that the janus i think we yeah it's fine you know i've also softened to

00:27:06.540 sports okay right right people need we need god however we're gonna get it yes yes yes i just

00:27:13.100 that that well feeling yes and that to me is so directly tied to youth yes it feels like when

00:27:19.400 you're you know when you're and you know to be forever youthful you know when you go into a movie

00:27:23.640 you you are the child back in the fetal and of course i'm not the you know we all know this the

00:27:28.060 the the the movie theater the darkness as fetal space right yes as kind of you know and to finally

00:27:34.300 be silenced i mean that's why we go to movie theaters finally i don't have to talk i don't

00:27:38.700 get to talk for an hour and a half oh what a relief can you imagine oh i can really if you

00:27:43.220 don't even know you want and then and then also the the entraining of the brain like take my brain

00:27:48.800 away please and carry it along a path for the love of god get it out i can merely observe where

00:27:54.320 i can merely observe i can exist as pure awareness the goal of meditation dare i say okay don't you

00:28:02.300 find yeah i'm sorry now i'm like have i ever been in a movie theater watching a movie even if i don't

00:28:08.740 like the movie i'm very rarely still processing my own bullshit it really kind of goes away i know

00:28:15.020 isn't that unreal and that's where the popcorn sales i'm like i'm never there watching 0.84

00:28:19.320 going that's why oh god sales are enough to sustain amc you know like they only you know

00:28:26.000 they make their money on the popcorn like hips don't break or no like people don't break their

00:28:30.820 hips hips break you know they make their money our favorite like our favorite like you know those

00:28:36.200 facts or whatever that are like well you know well you know yeah yeah well you know the popcorn's

00:28:41.300 actually um no but do you remember because for me like the theaters of my childhood you know

00:28:47.100 were generally even the big quote multiplex were an aisle down the center and so you were baptized

00:28:54.980 and then and then you you go into the central aisle you you fall in you weave zipper style

00:29:01.480 with the people and the slow procession up okay to the back of the room and then you know the kind

00:29:07.300 of also let's get real the garbage cans are simply not big enough i've just realized it

00:29:12.520 you're always resting no you're when you're placing your popcorn in the trash in the way

00:29:18.720 out of theater you're literally always resting it atop atop the garbage can like you're you're

00:29:24.120 balancing it you know you have to balance trash i want to understand why am i struggling you know 0.94

00:29:27.860 in new york city like you have to balance like trash on top of trash like yes of course because 0.96

00:29:31.980 the suggestion of a trash can yeah yeah right you like delicately balance it and run away

00:29:38.280 believing like believing you've done your part by balancing it truly the yes yes like okay like so

00:29:46.000 if i'm in the front of the theater i am guaranteed not to be able to drop my thing in the trash bag

00:29:50.980 anyway so the experience to go up so then i i place my popcorn in the thing and then to me

00:29:54.680 you've been transformed okay this is key are you ready transformed in the darkness and and the

00:29:59.380 the images were completely controlled you know someone's vision whatever yes and then you emerge

00:30:04.800 and and what what fills your your view that carpet that yeah pattern yeah crazy pineal gland

00:30:12.980 yeah carpet you know you know i'm talking about like those weird specific movie theater it's so

00:30:19.740 designed and it's like it's like neurologically yes and it's locked in because it's like that's

00:30:24.780 the thing i've looked at you're right you stroll out and your own feet and your own feet god and

00:30:29.360 In the backs of people.

00:30:30.780 And then the search for the bathroom.

00:30:32.160 It's like immediately becomes physical again.

00:30:33.960 And then the body returns immediately.

00:30:35.880 Wait.

00:30:36.160 And you have to pee and you go in.

00:30:37.460 The body returns, yeah.

00:30:38.100 And there's something so,

00:30:39.340 that communal experience of waiting in line in the bathroom

00:30:41.400 and everyone else has been transformed by the same movie.

00:30:43.820 But no one's really talking about it.

00:30:45.160 Or you hear kind of the distant chatter.

00:30:46.340 Well, I thought.

00:30:47.220 Yeah, well, I thought.

00:30:48.420 But it's something really profound,

00:30:49.780 locking eyes with a stranger.

00:30:50.860 Like I remember when I saw Big Fish

00:30:52.120 when I was like 15 or whatever.

00:30:53.440 Yes.

00:30:53.780 And like weeping.

00:30:55.300 Weeping, weeping.

00:30:56.100 you know and then like being this kind of quiet acknowledgement of like we're all gonna die

00:31:00.620 oh no you're okay yes well you know i and again i fear i've said it on poog but when i saw american

00:31:06.960 beauty with a friend and like and like the credits rolled and like we were like yes okay or something

00:31:12.660 or like whatever and like literally someone behind us just goes oh no they go no meaning what like

00:31:18.620 like no to the whole film like they know because like and like kevin spacey's like you know it

00:31:23.240 ends like like and one day you'll know what i mean or whatever you know right you'll see you'll see

00:31:28.260 you'll see yeah yes it's definitely something in that like it was almost like no we won't like

00:31:33.240 like and it was just like and i was like you know this is the greatest movie i've ever seen in my

00:31:37.060 life kind of feeling me too i was like i'm finally and i stand by it you know like i understand pain

00:31:40.980 now yeah i understand like i was like i can finally have a conversation with my father

00:31:44.360 i was like you know i made me feel like an adult what year was that anyway who cares keep going

00:31:49.140 and like really deeply never never never like until like i feel like 10 years later understood

00:31:53.740 like american beauty is the name of a kind of rose oh no i didn't know i was just like well

00:31:59.000 we mean mina suvari right you know what i feel like my insistence the way that i loved chris

00:32:05.280 cooper in that film yeah i feel like was teenage misogyny that i i was unable to even admit how

00:32:11.720 transcendent annette benning was because i needed to somehow prove my mastery over film or something 0.97

00:32:17.080 that i was so elevated that i could see past the women this is no it's so fucked up this is exactly 0.73

00:32:22.040 it this is exactly i feel the same i was like chris cooper blew me away i was 16 years old what 0.99

00:32:26.740 the fuck me too okay me too okay thora birch i was like i was like well i you know i can't take 0.54

00:32:31.880 thora birch as seriously as i would take kevin spacey liking chris cooper and knowing chris 0.99

00:32:36.880 cooper's name was a serious point of status for me at 19 or whatever we've never discussed this

00:32:42.540 because that was i know i cannot believe we never discussed it it was like well you know who's well

00:32:46.260 like you know who's really incredible chris cooper yeah like like it would be utter humiliation

00:32:52.300 like if we were complimenting the teenage characters you know like if we were contemplating

00:32:57.960 like and and loving them like that wouldn't prove to others yeah it had to be like a man

00:33:03.620 like an older man even annette i wasn't i didn't praise annette no totally is and i mean remember

00:33:10.780 when she um god when she smells the husband's clothes oh i mean she collapses in the closet

00:33:16.500 and and pulls them the hangers down that is i just got chills i know up the back of the spine

00:33:22.420 folks it is also i just want to quickly note a moment in six feet under yes i won't i won't give

00:33:27.100 any plot points away but there's a moment of brenda sinking to her knees in grief holding on

00:33:32.580 to another character i that is in fact i refuse to speak on it actually i'm just gonna let it

00:33:38.880 to kind of dwell in that silence.

00:33:40.020 No, right.

00:33:42.160 No, right, right.

00:33:43.300 Let it mean what it means.

00:33:44.740 It's 16.

00:33:45.480 We're 16.

00:33:46.140 Yeah.

00:33:46.520 All right.

00:33:46.760 So we're going to go to break

00:33:47.660 and we continue.

00:33:50.220 I'm really having fun.

00:33:51.300 I feel like there's more

00:33:51.960 in the movie theater.

00:33:52.580 I'm not ready to leave,

00:33:53.360 but we'll see.

00:33:53.700 No, no, no.

00:33:53.880 We can go back.

00:33:54.520 We can leave and come back.

00:33:55.760 All right.

00:33:56.020 See you in a second.

00:34:00.580 This is Ryder Strong

00:34:01.800 and I have a new podcast

00:34:02.720 called The Red Weather.

00:34:04.660 It was many and many a year ago

00:34:07.500 in a kingdom by the sea.

00:34:09.880 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor,

00:34:12.420 disappeared from a commune.

00:34:13.720 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:34:15.060 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:34:18.680 No, I am not your guru.

00:34:22.460 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:34:25.100 I lied to police.

00:34:26.360 I lied to everybody.

00:34:27.340 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:34:30.120 I've decided to go back to my hometown

00:34:31.840 in Northern California, interview my friends, family,

00:34:34.400 talk to police, journalists, whomever I can

00:34:36.580 to try to find out what actually happened.

00:34:39.180 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:34:42.100 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:34:43.780 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:34:46.700 I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:34:49.720 Boom, boom. 1.00

00:34:51.040 This is The Red Weather.

00:34:54.020 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:34:56.620 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:35:00.900 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:35:04.600 He is edgy. He's fun. He is Chase Matthews.

00:35:08.360 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:35:10.940 but it's his recent number one hit darling that put Chase on the map

00:35:13.940 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:35:19.200 That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:35:22.100 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthews.

00:35:24.840 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:35:34.600 is there anything more alone okay is there any more experience of one's own interiority

00:35:43.100 okay and leaving the theater to go to the bathroom during the film returning

00:35:48.500 that's so brilliant Jacqueline oh my god and you brought this up before you it was one of

00:35:55.920 the most beautiful things you've ever said to me yes that is so profound when you leave

00:35:59.900 the moment oh I could cry the moment of solitude when you leave it's a two-person dinner yeah when

00:36:04.420 And I guess there could be other people.

00:36:06.300 But for me, it's about the other person too.

00:36:08.840 And you get up, you go, and then you are in the bathroom mirror looking at yourself.

00:36:12.380 You have that private one washing hands.

00:36:14.040 Yes.

00:36:14.300 And then to return.

00:36:15.440 Yes.

00:36:15.680 And that's actually, that is the ultimate model for intimacy. 0.97

00:36:18.280 You have to get up and go to the bathroom. 0.96

00:36:20.000 Right.

00:36:20.280 Because do you, because the question for me is always, am I maintaining in the bathroom?

00:36:25.080 Am I maintaining the us-ness, the sense of us?

00:36:27.860 Right.

00:36:28.140 Am I, oh God.

00:36:29.600 Am I carrying it through the bathroom?

00:36:31.140 Am I almost holding my facial expression in a similar tone to the one I did at the table?

00:36:36.300 Or do you just, you drop, you get up, you turn and you drop.

00:36:39.120 Or the drop and how quick you drop is, is like, like the cruelty of, of the drop.

00:36:43.620 Like, I mean, I think we talked about this about like, you know, walking away from people.

00:36:46.680 I carry the, I carry the facial expression of the last little like charming laugh.

00:36:51.680 The quip.

00:36:52.500 For fear.

00:36:53.220 You turn, you're four paces, you hold the smile.

00:36:56.420 But then it's gotta go.

00:36:57.620 Do you ever, do you ever perform the drop?

00:37:01.140 As a way to, cause I found myself a couple times perform the drop. No, to myself. Like maybe you're

00:37:06.480 having a little small talk with someone that's kind of a professional interaction. Well, I know.

00:37:11.320 Well, well, I'll see you tomorrow. You turn and you drop it almost immediately as a private

00:37:15.760 recognition that that wasn't you. Oh, brilliant. Absolutely. Cause I find myself doing that or a

00:37:20.480 continuation. I personally, I'm imagining myself at the two person dinner. My impulse is to carry

00:37:27.440 right the conversation into the bathroom and to remain white knuckle grip it's white knuckle

00:37:32.640 grip i have the white knuckle grip i don't want to lose it you're experiencing the ecstasy of

00:37:36.160 intimacy and you you don't want to lose it how do you feel about good night texting the car

00:37:40.200 immediately after is is another like that's a new thing wait the like two people get in cabs okay

00:37:45.580 oh yeah they're kind of like well i'll text you one second like because like like it's a way of

00:37:50.020 putting off the the goodbye like i'll just i'll continue now i'm always guilty of checking in

00:37:54.760 too often you know and same thing with arriving you know leaving now five minutes away pulling up

00:37:59.080 parking oh yeah never late never late if i'm two minutes late i'm right you know circling the block

00:38:04.340 it's like and similarly the leaving it's so much more romantic to just have it but post but there

00:38:10.120 is something about like it's kind of interesting when you leave a conversation or or like spending

00:38:15.240 time with someone you leave you go away and then sometimes like the person texts you like or you

00:38:19.860 text them well i guess i can only say it this way the person texts you like about one specific point

00:38:25.240 from the meal that was the exact thing you were also still sort of stuck on or felt was a weird

00:38:31.140 moment you know like or like a moment that got like kind of got fucked up like like you said

00:38:36.100 something they received it poorly then the food came then it was distracting you're just like

00:38:39.180 deciding whether or not to draw attention to the moment after the fact i'm pretty big on drawing

00:38:44.960 attention yes and i i just i don't want to forget because i want to go back because it's one of the

00:38:49.260 most stunning things I've ever heard, ever articulated what you said about going to the

00:38:54.240 bathroom alone in the movie. And that that's, that's actually the most, that's the most myself

00:39:00.400 I've ever felt or the most I've never, if I could just hold on to that interiority, as you said,

00:39:06.980 and also that feeling of, of selfhood and of independence and yet remaining held within the

00:39:13.880 social container of still being at the movie you're so protected because everyone's in there

00:39:19.040 and it's also this feeling of you know where everyone is and you and you also it's the direct

00:39:24.580 experience of knowing where you're going to return you're leaving for a moment and you you have

00:39:29.260 absolute you're there's no way you're going anywhere else except back into that seat first

00:39:34.140 of all like i mean like like maybe life is is the trip to the bathroom you know like in your soul

00:39:39.020 your soul knows your soul knows that you get to return but like here's the other thing like i was

00:39:43.020 as you're saying, I'm like, okay, there's something also about the selfhood feeling

00:39:47.620 more pronounced and sacred and actually kind of like lovely. I don't hate myself when I go to the

00:39:54.320 bathroom in the mirror. I mean, in the movie, right? There's something, there's something

00:39:57.440 about myself that they feel sacred. And I think it's because this is, this is like, let's say

00:40:01.080 it's 200 people in the theater. It's like, you know, that their brains are all currently entrained

00:40:05.480 on this one experience. You're missing it. And yet, but you, but you're, there's something

00:40:10.280 you're not missing which is you're the only person let's say you feel that you're sometimes

00:40:14.100 you can tell i mean it's like a small theater you literally know you're the only one you know

00:40:17.940 you're the only one not in there right and you're like they're all thinking and experiencing the

00:40:22.180 same thing like somewhat you know what i mean like they're all continuing this thing and i am not i

00:40:26.600 am one of them like it's like you also get to be like this hero kind of like like like this

00:40:31.340 individual who like is briefly not away you were you broke away and yet you still belong to the

00:40:38.620 group let's not even get started on the liminality of that place that is the ultimate not not me you

00:40:44.160 are not in the theater but you're not not in the theater are you still seeing the movie of course

00:40:47.760 you're still seeing the movie but you're not seeing the movie in that moment god you have

00:40:51.620 you have retained and insisted upon your own individuality and yet you still completely belong

00:40:56.620 to the group oh my god wait how do you feel about silence out in the lobby versus music out in the

00:41:01.640 lobby during that experience because because or out in the or the walk past walk to the bathroom

00:41:06.580 while walking past the closed doors of other theaters it's so cute it's literally children

00:41:12.120 asleep in their bed yes and like when you hear when you hear also the little bit of the clamoring

00:41:17.820 oh an action movie right are you here though like that is that i mean talk about cozy

00:41:22.940 the coziest feeling in the cozier world just like

00:41:26.540 and you know that like in those moments they're experiencing like that those gunshots or whatever

00:41:32.960 or like those explosions on the screen mean something to those people in the theater and

00:41:37.100 they don't know it's no it's the din of the of the parents downstairs it's god it is yeah it's

00:41:43.360 the party happening downstairs and you're asleep in your bed oh my god it's um it's like no it's

00:41:49.760 voices floating up it's but the darkness like like oh and then i was gonna say i think it might also

00:41:55.360 feel in a way i feel like that walk to the bathroom is the closest experience we have to

00:42:03.240 what it might feel like to be a ghost walking the surface i was hoping you were going to say to die

00:42:08.580 well there's definitely a death feeling yes yeah like that's the closest to death i've ever come

00:42:14.680 because in if you're a ghost if you're a ghost yeah if you're a ghost and you're among okay you're

00:42:22.620 it's the same thing because if you're a ghost among living people right yeah hundreds of them

00:42:28.000 let's say you're walking down the street in new york city as a ghost okay they're all experiencing

00:42:33.180 and you know entrained the same movie this one level of reality same movie which is life on

00:42:37.680 earth yeah and you are witnessing it aware of it aware of their entrainment know what they're 0.98

00:42:42.640 looking at but you are you are in those moments not a part of it yeah damn god it god that's good 0.97

00:42:48.700 oh god that's fucking good i want to god if we can identify these these kinds of liminal see it's 0.98

00:42:55.680 it's not because it's not just you know there's too much here it is okay folks an epiphany to 0.94

00:43:01.340 save us see look i was getting spiritual dollar signs which to me means it's the same thing as

00:43:05.700 someone picturing the widget you know then they produce one million and oh look at the money

00:43:09.740 they'll have i started to go we got to do this more we got to find more moments like this we

00:43:12.700 can buy more like this i don't know trust me jacqueline in these last moments i was like well

00:43:15.820 here's a book there's a book in here and then i was like and i was like and here comes i was like

00:43:19.660 this is film this is cinema how can i express this i'm like you're already expressing it you're

00:43:24.800 actually in the microphone this is you are expressing the idea is here it's never enough

00:43:30.020 i i need more and i and again i'm grasping wait there was an epiphany that not a major one you 0.99

00:43:36.920 have i know what it is right they always say they're fools they're fools okay say go to your 0.99

00:43:41.420 Happy place. 0.99

00:43:42.560 OK, now that's like a cliche, you know, like like it's like a meditative sort of guided

00:43:47.880 meditation.

00:43:49.260 Yeah, well, like, go to your like, you know, like, close your eyes, go to a place that's

00:43:52.980 comfortable for you to the beach.

00:43:54.580 I'm like, the beach is so loaded and the beach is so stressful.

00:43:58.100 Exactly.

00:43:58.640 The beach like the waves.

00:44:00.140 There's some emotion kind of there's some calm emotion going to the beach as hell.

00:44:04.720 Well, right.

00:44:05.300 Arguably one of the most stressful experiences, the bags and getting there and packing the

00:44:09.360 bags and who and and all of that and the sand and the heat and the like i have to shower you know

00:44:14.680 it's like the walk to and from the journey to the car the oh the literal impossibility of cleaning

00:44:21.080 your feet it's not possible if you go to the beach the hosing off your feet situation and then you

00:44:25.760 have to move you have to move and then drying them and there's there's no and every time i think i'm

00:44:31.920 gonna beat the system i know with the washing my feet okay well see how i'm gonna wash my flip

00:44:35.880 flops off first. OK, like so I'm going to hose those down and then I'm going to hose my feet

00:44:40.080 down and step into the wet flip flop. Then you start walking away. The wetness grab the sand

00:44:43.940 pulls in the sand. Yeah. And then but the parking lot, the parking lot. Oh, yeah.

00:44:49.460 Just the heat. You know, be nice. A shaded path to the beach because, you know, the water's there

00:44:57.360 at the end of your journey. And that's nice. Yeah. But like the walk to the beach shouldn't

00:45:01.440 be hot as hell. Like, do you have any idea how bad they want to go on a tropical vacation with

00:45:05.540 you oh my god well and i'm just gonna say that now i want like who do we travelocity orbits

00:45:11.300 yeah talking directly to you hotels.com yeah ding dong we're here i want to go i want to go

00:45:17.640 to the beach with you they all have you know they have from moderate pricing to high-end resorts

00:45:24.480 and resorts are classically a hellish experience i'm obviously enjoying the white lotus on hbo

00:45:29.920 the new mike white but i just want to say that a resort with you would be heaven and i just want

00:45:35.400 to say this right now for those listening we'll share this week we'll share this week we don't

00:45:39.640 need our own rooms i want the delay okay in fact kate doesn't want her own room he wants to lay

00:45:45.260 holding hands okay you're right i don't want my own staring into each other's eyes

00:45:49.720 separating from you at the end of the night yeah like hell on earth wait oh but the happy place

00:45:55.640 my only realization was it sorry yeah there was a time and no i want to go back to the resort but

00:45:59.360 instead of go to your happy place they always make it they always make it space instead of time

00:46:04.780 okay what about go to your happy time what about so so the intersection of time and space is what

00:46:10.140 they need to go so for example if a meditation had led me to the hallway during a movie see i'm

00:46:15.980 saying where it's always a it's always a location they think location will automatically relax

00:46:20.840 what if it's no it's 4 p.m on a monday afternoon after school okay it's raining

00:46:28.460 you're working go and you're at home okay and you put something you like you make a little

00:46:35.400 soup or something you just heat it up okay and it's heating up and you're deciding what movie

00:46:39.160 you're gonna pluck off the shelf all right and put it in and the rain is on the roof oh my god

00:46:44.820 oh and oh and there's it's it's gray no school tomorrow then there's the neon of the microwave

00:46:50.080 light that's always been huge for me yeah the neon of the of the because i don't even want to

00:46:54.540 say it's no school tomorrow no no you're right that that's too easy because that's too extreme

00:46:58.720 oh yeah it's more that you haven't hit the point where tomorrow feels like it's crushing you yeah

00:47:03.640 that's beautiful Jacqueline god you're hungry I was gonna say because for me one of my for me it's

00:47:09.860 like I as you know love showering and so for me it's like my favorite time alone is I like to

00:47:17.220 shower and anoint oneself with oils right and prepare for like a dinner so my joyful thing is

00:47:23.280 i'm completely alone i have an hour and a half to take a luxurious shower and the reservation is

00:47:28.020 made and like i'm getting ready to go to dinner i mean that is just no no no well the piece of that

00:47:34.160 no yes it's funny you say that because i went into this episode of poog i put in an order for

00:47:38.880 some mexican food to get delivered okay and i was like oh my god i said to chris it's gonna be really

00:47:43.360 big for poog because i'm gonna be in the state of my absolute happiest which is when food is on the

00:47:48.280 way. When the order has been decided upon. Okay. And it's on the way. I just, I was hoping there'd

00:47:53.540 even be the buzz, like the ecstasy of being held in that space. Oh, but the absolute greatest

00:47:58.220 feeling. And I haven't spent that much time in resorts. You know, I haven't done a thousand

00:48:02.540 vacations at all. So like, I'm really, I'm not, I'm not ready even for the like sophisticated

00:48:09.400 vacation. Like I'm not bored of a resort. Like I'm not like, Oh, I want to be locked within the

00:48:15.120 walls i want to be locked within the walls but one of the best feelings in the world i think

00:48:19.580 time space wise is after a day in the sun or particularly beach or swimming and taking a

00:48:26.920 shower okay for dinner yeah wet hair oh my god put her on your back slipping into something

00:48:31.880 comfortable and heading off starving oh my god and then oh wow yeah i need to have that with you

00:48:40.040 or I'll die and then night falls oh an AC in a resort I had it in in this place I'm staying

00:48:45.720 like like an apartment building where I walked in the lobby was so so cold yeah extreme AC yeah

00:48:51.780 that is achieved in hotels oh wow I know how do they do that how do they do it a lot of suffering

00:48:57.900 yeah um oh Mike White you're saying I haven't watched White Lotus yet because I had to finish

00:49:03.320 up the Mike White season of survivor you know he goes on as a contestant I want to say I still

00:49:09.720 can't believe that mike white a hero of mine absolutely an icon of mine yes i say that as

00:49:15.400 though it's like of course sure one of the greatest but um i cannot believe he was on

00:49:20.280 survivor it's it's the coolest thing i've ever heard i've never seen there's a there's a carrie

00:49:25.740 batten interview in new yorker with him about it is that oh the writer and um yeah and uh like like

00:49:33.280 a couple weeks ago i think it came out and it's all about that it's about white lotus but also

00:49:36.660 about survivor and um he's so fabulous because he's just like it's like people probably think

00:49:41.960 it's ironic right you going on it and whatever and he's like it is not ironic it is not ironic

00:49:47.300 he says it dare you dare you he's like it's like my favorite show and like i want to compete on it

00:49:54.800 and he's like people you people want oscars i want to win survivor and i'm like this i mean you know

00:50:00.580 that that calls me because i love like i'm always delighted by that sort of thing you know biggest

00:50:05.860 loser was big for me oh i would weep never saw the health problems would go away i want to watch

00:50:11.060 i'd love to watch season one of survive of uh of biggest loser with you okay because it's like 0.95

00:50:16.080 i remember like you know they have the family visit and there's all sorts of issues with that

00:50:19.540 show i'm really not interested in comments about you know it's unhealthy okay blah blah blah you

00:50:23.700 know it's absolutely it's horrible yeah like okay we're talking about this as a tv show at the

00:50:28.240 moment okay so the family members like visit halfway through it's one of those it's rain

00:50:31.620 what of course it's yeah it's rain you know whatever yeah it's just like it's like the

00:50:36.260 family members show up and you know the people have shed pounds or whatever and i just remember

00:50:39.640 this one guy was like talking to his wife and she's like the blood pressure he's like back to

00:50:44.180 normal she's like the back pain he's like gone he's like the knee issue gone he just keeps saying

00:50:50.280 gone about these various health things that were related and it's just snobbery around reality tv

00:50:57.100 is uh is an absolute humiliation of of the intellect yeah the snobbery those who insist

00:51:06.100 inherently i mean i you know i i will wrap it up but i i said something somewhere and it was

00:51:12.340 someone quoted on twitter where i said like you know uh about long island medium like like oh you

00:51:17.900 you doubt my intelligence because i enjoy the show long island medium like i was like excuse me you

00:51:21.900 don't know on what level i'm engaging with that show intellectually you know it's not just like

00:51:25.620 the thing i'm looking at and then someone commented like um oh and i like retweeted it

00:51:29.880 and was just like i stand by this if this is like the only thing i'm ever quoted as saying like i'm

00:51:34.000 like pleased with it something stupid like that and then like someone comments like i think descartes 0.94

00:51:38.360 said the same thing about a pile of dog shit and i was like i want i didn't reply but i wanted to be 1.00

00:51:43.540 like yeah and he'd be smart too like yeah yeah descartes could look at a pile of dog shit and 0.99

00:51:49.840 think something intelligent yeah jokes on you unless maybe they were calling me descartes i 0.99

00:51:54.040 don't know i think they were calling you descartes babe really yeah it's like when that person yelled 0.99

00:51:58.000 nice set at me after a show and i thought they meant my tits how dare you why don't you respect 0.95

00:52:04.120 me as a comedian oh my god that is amazing what a joy what a joy well that was absolutely 0.98

00:52:10.500 but again this is like the conversation about the movie theater and everything was so inspiring to

00:52:16.080 me that i was like i think i might go cry now like i was i was like and i needed to carry in

00:52:20.300 And I just anyway, even that was a form of clinging that I want to start to release.

00:52:25.220 Like, I don't need to now be like, and now I'm going to go cry.

00:52:28.060 Like, I want to continue the feeling of this.

00:52:30.600 But guess what?

00:52:31.680 We remain friends and we will have more conversations.

00:52:34.820 There's nothing to cling to.

00:52:35.300 There's nothing.

00:52:36.220 We're safe.

00:52:36.720 Now I'm again, I'm clinging to the resort.

00:52:39.180 I'm clinging to the future resort and I'm just going to hope for it and let it wash away.

00:52:42.640 Much like the sand, much like the waves on the beach that we will be sitting on.

00:52:46.240 Oh, yes.

00:52:47.600 We're going and I'm dead serious.

00:52:49.200 We expect offers within the week.

00:52:51.840 Offers.

00:52:52.780 Within the week.

00:52:53.780 Okay.

00:52:54.280 If they come later, let's turn them down.

00:52:57.220 By the way, I want to go far. 1.00

00:52:58.740 I want an 11-hour flight, bitch. 1.00

00:53:00.400 Yes. 1.00

00:53:00.820 Yes.

00:53:01.380 Yes.

00:53:01.960 All right.

00:53:02.720 Goodbye.

00:53:04.400 That was Pug.

00:53:06.660 If you enjoyed Pug, please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:53:10.480 If not, we will press charges.

00:53:12.180 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:53:21.080 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:53:25.000 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:53:28.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:53:32.480 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:53:34.780 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:53:37.720 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:53:40.380 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:54:10.380 chase matthew listen and subscribe on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you listen

00:54:15.780 to podcasts this is an iheart podcast guaranteed human

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - August 03, 2021

Movie Theater Epiphanies

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