Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Zucchini Solutions

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00:00:34.900 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:00:36.440 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:00:37.560 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:00:42.280 Two untamable intellects.

00:00:44.060 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:00:44.900 This is our hell.

00:00:45.760 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:00:48.040 This is POOG.

00:00:49.460 Today's topic, loosely speaking, lids and cups.

00:00:52.900 My dead back.

00:00:54.180 Pizza bagel.

00:00:57.800 Hi, pretty.

00:00:58.660 you look pretty you do thank you because honestly the little image of myself i look

00:01:04.920 88 years old which is fine which is fine which would be fine and i should be so lucky to get to

00:01:11.080 that age um absolutely it should be one of the primary interests of food despite our focus on

00:01:16.600 anti-aging products embrace the crone and wildly pursue serum is a problem for us i just wanted to

00:01:23.200 say i'm experiencing energy loss due to exercise as am i wait hold on a second when did you

00:01:28.320 exercise. Cause you know, I'm fresh off of a workout. I'm still in my sports bra. I did a

00:01:32.140 20 minute Melissa Wood health, which is what I do. Right. And I've fallen off the wagon. Honey,

00:01:38.300 I'm so far down the Oregon trail without a wagon that I don't even know where I'm going. Okay.

00:01:44.440 So of course, three days ago, I was like, Kate, you need to get back on 10 minutes a day,

00:01:49.300 15 minutes a day. Right. You there's no excuse. Do that. Today I go, we're up into 20 baby. We're

00:01:55.200 up in a 20. Okay. I immediately, after I bow my head in gratitude, I go, this is me. This is life.

00:02:01.500 Okay. I'm excited. Oh, you're loving it. You're loving it. I'm loving it. I'm looking in the

00:02:04.480 mirror. I'm going, that's all it takes. 20 minutes. Look at, look at the shift in your mood.

00:02:08.340 I am now, and you can sense in the voice, absolutely paralyzed by exhaustion. I just

00:02:14.480 feel so damn sleepy, but I think it'll be fine and poog shall invigorate. But I really do feel 1.00

00:02:19.700 almost like a drunk tired like in my bones feeling thoughts when it's in the bones you know

00:02:25.920 you're tired okay yeah but here's the thing i i am fresh off about 20 minutes or i guess yeah i did

00:02:32.240 about 25 minutes um of a tracy anderson online video series um the music helps me a lot melissa

00:02:40.220 wood i think there wasn't music or there's no music it's her just kind of which i get through

00:02:44.640 i get kind of like the elegance of that like we're here to move like this isn't about a dance party

00:02:50.780 or whatever however nothing gets me going like a good tune where does tracy anderson playing because

00:02:56.840 i feel like i did a free trial at one point during pandemic i had like 16 000 free trials that i was

00:03:01.940 juggling and it was crushing me it's like automatic is that they were like automatically

00:03:05.980 we'll renew in 20 days or whatever and i had like my calendar was i was like like typing my card in

00:03:11.100 yeah i had like a million cinemax actually has good movies don't cancel it but i believe i

00:03:16.980 subscribed because i wanted to watch moonstruck and cinemax has some good flicks i'll just say

00:03:24.620 that okay it's a classic no no no no i wanted to re-watch phantom thread that's why my need to say

00:03:29.900 re-watch i saw it on the original um whatever millimeter i'll have you know so did i sweetie

00:03:34.940 and i saw it with a pta q a and i wept i didn't actually cry but i was moved i saw that movie 0.77

00:03:40.680 three times in theaters it really got in there for me oh god theta is grimacing she's horrified

00:03:46.520 theta's making a face i guess she's not a fan i don't well well don't even theta okay because 0.94

00:03:51.480 it's a goddamn masterpiece and i will not speak of it ever made about a long-term relationship 0.79

00:03:55.260 also the end of the film and we will not speak of it right now but i was like cool never have 0.99

00:04:00.240 seen that like oh well complete i kept trying to predict where i thought the story was going

00:04:04.240 and i was like this is completely fucking fresh i'm sorry okay i was like it's it's divine is 0.62

00:04:10.260 the word defining would be the word so data hates it we're gonna pivot into a film criticism podcast 0.90

00:04:17.340 we have to move on we have to move on um oh my god i can't believe we're using that thing jack

00:04:22.200 and brought this thing to her nose what is that was advertised to you on instagram yes so this is

00:04:26.560 um this is something i we we tried to get for free we reached out okay it's called defend and it's

00:04:32.380 like 30 years of this you know harvard scientists research okay always harvard and and it's a fine

00:04:40.180 mist of a particular solution it's not just saline or whatever okay it's a super fine mist

00:04:44.860 and it clings to your respiratory tract or something and makes it harder for viruses etc

00:04:51.660 etc to fucking cling okay and it lowers virus load on your on your exhales so if it's real 0.86

00:05:00.960 everyone in america needs one now okay it's 59.99 aka free 0.93

00:05:08.160 okay and every day before leaving the house i i do a deep 10 second inhale of the stuff and it's

00:05:16.800 supposed to um protect the passages in that way for six hours so i think it's the future once

00:05:22.440 again another thing i'm hoping well i'm of course now salivating one at free okay great i'm gonna

00:05:27.620 look it up. And so, you know, and I, I always, I actually enjoy promoting something that we asked

00:05:33.280 for for free and they didn't give us because it shows, I like to show those brands like,

00:05:37.280 you see, we're legit. Well, guess what? I'm dying to talk to you because I purchased with my own

00:05:43.700 money, two things this week, which both times I said, what am I doing? I should go through poog. 0.99

00:05:49.480 All right. I hovered. Okay. So, okay. Remember you were, remember the week that your life 1.00

00:05:53.600 changed because you were doing green smoothies. Yes. So I am here on location shooting. I know,

00:05:58.960 I know. No, but I'm living in another city for months and you know, I don't have my usual things

00:06:04.800 with me and I did not, of course, I don't have a blender. I didn't bring a blender. I'm like,

00:06:08.820 I need to be doing smoothies in the morning because I'm, I'm there, I'm doing crap and I'm 0.80

00:06:12.720 eating like junk food around the clock. And, um, so it hit me, you know, okay, I'm going to do it.

00:06:19.360 i'm gonna buy a nutribullet right yeah i i had a nutribullet in like the 1940s when it was just 0.53

00:06:25.040 like a tin box with a with a goddamn corkscrew whatever the flip i had like spinning corkscrew

00:06:32.720 it's still it's still flipped but i had the like the original nutribullet and then i grew angry at 0.86

00:06:38.000 it and i don't know what happened but then i became i know what happened i became fixated on

00:06:42.220 the lids oh yeah i was gonna say it's the lids and the cups and there's just endless plastic

00:06:48.080 lids and cups. Yeah. I was like, I don't run a personal gym for like kindergartners. Why do I

00:06:54.560 have this? I just didn't like the aesthetic, but mostly I was browsing Costco, saw Vitamix on sale

00:06:59.880 and then spent weeks obsessing about it for $3,000. And so then suddenly my, my Nutribullet

00:07:06.320 looked like, like it was preventing me from health. And so, um, I don't even know what

00:07:11.640 happened. I threw it off a ledge. I've never seen it again. I don't know what happened to my,

00:07:15.820 my Nutribullet but there's been advances I go to Target my new my new public park as you would say

00:07:22.280 and I took this as a sign because there was one Nutribullet Pro left at the Target and I like oh

00:07:27.200 wow held on to it with a white knuckle grip and I'm loving it okay I have a lot day two I got it

00:07:34.000 yesterday today's my second smoothie and so I can't believe the power I've got 900 watts I'm

00:07:39.000 floating on air and by the way it's under 100 bucks okay and I have oh you know what I should

00:07:43.320 do yeah i think because i bought it now i have like a code i should just give it to on the air

00:07:47.880 damn it i forgot what it's called like blend now or something you get 20 off but do you think the

00:07:53.700 code has an unlimited usage it's like share with friends and family one way to find out one way to 0.97

00:07:58.580 find out one way to find out i get a cease and desist from nutri bullet yeah i don't know if

00:08:04.240 i've already so i want to tell you my smoothie but i also want to say so so the nutri bullet was

00:08:08.600 purchased i went to their instagram hovered over the message icon and i thought am i going to do

00:08:12.500 it and then i was like i want it now just do it and it's like 90 bucks anyway bought it i'm thrilled

00:08:19.460 so that's one purchase and then guess what i have decided to purchase and it's on the way right now

00:08:25.400 no oh wait wait don't say it and now because now i want to i heard afla afla right those the sounds

00:08:33.000 i heard you want to guess based on effluvium effluvium effluvium no and i don't know what

00:08:40.500 that is. I don't either. It just came out athletic greens, which the Instagram has been promoting in

00:08:46.820 a way that is so shocking where it's like, I'm like, fine, I'll get it. Jesus. Like I, but I,

00:08:53.360 but I have fine. I'll get it. Okay. So athletic greens is a green powder. And listen, I was

00:08:58.920 seeing an advertiser that's going, get out of here. Right. Cause I don't like the name. I go

00:09:02.340 to the website. Okay. So I, so who was talking, I was talking to a couple of people who I think

00:09:06.940 are quite health conscious and they were going, Oh yeah, I was loving it. But then, you know,

00:09:10.360 i ran out and i just didn't buy it again an issue that's why they push subscription there's an issue

00:09:14.700 they push subscription i go to the website i'm looking at the ingredients i'm going well this 0.98

00:09:18.300 looks pretty damn clean really this looks pretty damn good folks so i decide you know what fuck it 0.94

00:09:23.720 it is expensive it's like 80 for a pouch that's like 30 days like 80 bucks for 30 days or something 0.97

00:09:30.540 i you divide by 30 you're looking pretty good it's on the way to my it's on the way right now

00:09:34.680 it's on the way right now three dollars a day and i have committed i've committed i'm going to do

00:09:39.560 athletic greens every goddamn morning for 30 days well welcome your energy is gonna soar if i'm not

00:09:44.700 catapulted to health it's gonna work okay so i you know similarly you and me went from slovenly 0.95

00:09:50.900 you know poog hags right into relative work okay right and we traveled away from our homes so we're

00:09:59.600 both on location you on film me on stage at the moment um and i found a i can't believe i didn't

00:10:07.180 tell you this i looked in the i looked in the cabinet there's a vitamix in there there's a

00:10:11.260 vitamix in there okay i'm like i'm like oh i guess i can't have smoothies while i'm here

00:10:16.720 whatever or i'm gonna have to buy them at full price i located a vitamix holy i got some frozen

00:10:22.160 berries i got some oh uh some greens i got vega again i'm back on vega guess what i did by the

00:10:29.000 way and amazing greens you know that little brand whatever they sell something like that amazing

00:10:33.400 greens can't be that it's something like you know it's a classic like a whole foods yeah the only

00:10:37.480 thing i can't have chia makes my mouth itch so there's an entire subset of things i can't get

00:10:42.720 in the powder realm at the disco so i got um i remember mark hyman our beloved mark hyman

00:10:50.480 the pegan is waiting for me at home in la yes so my friend is staying at my place in la and i had

00:10:56.340 him box up no box up the pro i was like there is a protein powder above my fridge that i put there

00:11:01.920 please mail it to me promptly and so it's on the way the pegan protein powder so can i walk you

00:11:09.140 through because guess what i put in my smoothie today and yesterday tell me mark hyman not even

00:11:12.820 on the market folks so i wouldn't go looking yet maybe it's on the market now it's called gut food

00:11:18.080 and i trust mark he has one of the i just i goddamn trust i trust the fella so and so it's

00:11:23.880 like a probiotic prebiotic whatever so so in my smoothie so this made me feel really wild in the

00:11:31.120 Vitamix, throw a handful of almonds and then some filtered water, the dash of Himalayan sea salt.

00:11:35.840 Poof. We've got, we've got our base, right? We've got our, we've got our fully non-processed,

00:11:40.680 we've got our organic base. And then I put in some organic, needless to say, frozen blueberries.

00:11:47.880 I put in the gut food. I put in some organic, needless to say, unsalted, no sugar added almond

00:11:55.720 butter and i put in some frozen spinach and i put in this is new for me a little sprinkle of some

00:12:02.720 flax seeds whoa i zip that up oh i know what inspired that you're looking for omega-3

00:12:08.260 yeah you think you can get it vegan and then i well i'm not sure you can but uh

00:12:13.780 and then i'm afraid of fish burps blitzed in the nutribullet honey it's smooth as hell

00:12:19.300 okay i truly here i am on my vitamix high horse here i am running for office right

00:12:26.440 to run i'm like yeah under and my my only the only thing i'm running with is vitamix

00:12:32.820 what's the term here you are yeah my only platform is vitamix yeah and the party line

00:12:39.880 on all fours for the nutribullet day two well there's an issue which is when these things

00:12:45.340 come out i was starving an hour and a half later this is the the moral but keep going well yeah

00:12:50.640 we'll get into that there's no fat in there right i had almond butter and almonds yeah but i feel

00:12:56.440 like almonds aren't don't have enough fat i don't think that's a proper fat source like 16 000 grams

00:13:01.300 of fat i don't think so i think they have a lot of you know i don't know what they have but you

00:13:05.440 should throw an avocado in don't be afraid i once had avocado you won't taste it four years ago i

00:13:11.460 had avocado in a smoothie i paid like 16 for a smoothie oh no i took one sip almost instantly

00:13:19.360 heaved it was like and since then and again i love avocados i eat them constantly but i've

00:13:25.000 since then never been able to face one in a smoothie i once tried to i once tried to make

00:13:29.940 those brownies made of baked uh black beans oh i've done that and they were fab really

00:13:36.400 i had less success i'm gonna send you and you know what i'm posting it to instagram it's a

00:13:41.440 visual i did a black bean peanut butter brownie sounds disgusting of course yeah howling at the

00:13:49.560 moon they're so good took them at the time to like it was like a yom kippur or some yeah something

00:13:55.040 and everyone's eating of the brownies going oh my god you said these were gluten-free i go

00:13:59.040 gluten-free they're beans honey okay you're not even having all right people couldn't believe it

00:14:05.000 people couldn't believe it lying around the block i had a nightmare with two friends john

00:14:10.720 and gordon who i prepared a um at home i would never try to sell this on them but i had prepared

00:14:16.360 a zucchini apple pie it's like you use zucchini instead of apples okay good luck and well yeah

00:14:24.200 yeah and i didn't need it okay oh really oh you chop and cook zucchini okay all you need is lemon

00:14:31.600 and what's the other thing lemon and a prayer synonym yeah yeah yeah synonym

00:14:38.320 cinnamon yeah cinnamon will cinnamon changes the world and remember folks we're getting

00:14:45.720 Ceylon Ceylon cinnamon or whatever you always need to say right right but I always think is

00:14:50.480 that the one but but but I made it here's the problem I chopped it up I made it I didn't try

00:14:55.520 to sell it out but they came by and I was like Gordon will um he'll be open to this he appreciates

00:15:01.940 things like this he took a bite I'm like it's zucchini but like but then like I'm like when

00:15:08.300 to try my apple pie and then he's like he's like and i'm like it's zucchini and he's like

00:15:11.600 screaming and then like he's not but whatever and then john comes down and john goes like i'm like

00:15:17.380 john john tries and he's like i heard that it's zucchini like so i don't know if the effect will

00:15:21.400 be the same yeah but truly kate it will it would shock you that's for sure i have a lot to say i

00:15:26.940 have a lot to say we have to go to break all right we have to go to break we'll come right back

00:15:38.300 Okay. I want to get right back into zucchini because I, and I don't know where I was. I was

00:15:44.000 on Instagram. I don't know where, it's not interesting. There's no, where are we in there?

00:15:49.320 Where were you? There was no temperature where I was. Exactly. But I, um, you were locked in a

00:15:53.960 visual field. I found a porridge. It was like a paleo porridge that what you did was you grated

00:15:58.700 a zucchini. Okay. So it's grated zucchini, nut milk, skin on baby. You need it probably to get

00:16:06.080 that crunch no but you but then you simmer it in the nut milk with hemp seeds and careful chia

00:16:11.640 i swear to god it was good and coconut milk i did it like four times and i was convinced that my

00:16:16.380 life would be different forever and then you're howling i like screen grabbed on your recipe it

00:16:20.400 was lost somewhere in the archives never to be seen again well there is no way to save data i

00:16:24.900 mean there is no way by the way bookmarking a website are you kidding me bookmarking a website

00:16:30.020 oh bookmarking website is it 1994 yeah it's in 94 and it's like i go up there and i'm like

00:16:35.980 like every time i bookmark a website i'm like this is gonna be part of my life now

00:16:40.240 i just visit my bookmarks i'm like let's see what it'll be oh keto recipes okay and then

00:16:46.160 never wait i have 60 things to say about what you said i want to try the zucchini apple

00:16:51.120 and of course my sweet laurel brownies that i make are the ones yeah i mean i mean and and

00:16:55.740 the question is look i get why would you want to replace an apple well because i have an addiction

00:17:00.740 to apples and can't eat less than 16 at a time okay and if i make an apple pie i love apples i'll

00:17:06.660 you know eat the whole thing immediately and then i'll be laying there you know in pain moaning

00:17:11.040 and worse it's not even the pain because that's actually not true that's a lie

00:17:14.760 the emotional devastation of the the highs and lows i mean the people are tired of hearing about

00:17:20.140 my sugar uh responses we're not tired okay oh but wait i did my workout yeah and i i was like

00:17:27.980 it just sucks when you did the workout the day before the same one and then you're doing it and

00:17:32.360 you're like i don't think i can do half of it and you literally completed it the day before right

00:17:36.080 and i just don't know whether to modify or quit modify i know but i modification is so unsatisfying

00:17:44.720 if it's not presented like as as not i don't know i don't know i don't know what the answer is

00:17:49.980 but i do sweat and the sweat falls off oh oh you know what i'm doing that that you will understand

00:17:54.640 so you know how you do things by virtue of like you were afraid to take that migraine shot and so

00:18:00.040 you filmed yourself and that sort of separated yourself enough from yourself to do it like you

00:18:04.600 could do anything on fear factor or whatever yeah you couldn't do in life anyway i so i've started

00:18:10.140 doing these tracy anderson videos and i've been doing a time lapse did i talk about this last

00:18:14.720 week no time lapse with myself while doing the workout so i'm gonna have a journey i'm gonna

00:18:18.560 of a six month journey oh my god okay of time lapse of me in bad outfits doing the exercise

00:18:24.620 you know sped up posted on pogue can you imagine you know what you're actually the promise of the

00:18:29.200 embarrassing but in the beginning of covid when i started doing yoga didn't i send you myself 0.99

00:18:34.100 doing yoga a couple times i recall your ass i recall you sending your ass just generally sort 0.98

00:18:39.260 of like oh yeah because i was devastated by it like this is what i see in the mirror when i look 0.99

00:18:43.720 over my shoulder i was like isn't this so sad isn't it devastating you were like it's cute and 0.82

00:18:47.720 i didn't think it was i was like it was great it was great it's a fucking graveyard back there 0.90

00:18:52.760 um um no but i sent a video of myself doing like shavasana no i always fucking get this wrong 0.91

00:19:04.120 that's corpse pose oh right and i always have to remind you that it's downward dog into no it's um 0.76

00:19:09.680 chaturanga chaturanga so i send a video of myself doing that and send it to a family friend

00:19:14.820 all excited yeah she responds correcting my form oh wow she was like yeah your elbows aren't tucked

00:19:20.380 in enough i was like god damn it wow okay okay you know what i want to talk about this is another

00:19:25.180 thing i have something to say about vagisil that occurred to me while i was in cvs can i just say 0.90

00:19:28.840 it hey go ahead it's really exciting i hope i haven't said it before you know it's hysterical

00:19:32.680 about vagisil as a product and vagisil to be clear is what it's an anti-itch cream for yeast

00:19:38.980 infections yeah i thought i've ever had one what's it for yeah i think it advertises itself as for 0.85

00:19:44.920 itch okay whether that's from a yeast infection or anything a town whore yeah 0.96

00:19:50.980 even the town whore agrees it works well here's the thing here's the thing it's a really simple 0.97

00:19:59.080 notion it's just that vagisil is what the reason i believe vagisil is the most embarrassing product 0.89

00:20:05.420 okay that you could have appear in your bag or whatever fall in your bag it's because it

00:20:10.000 represents you not trying to solve or cure a problem but merely mask the itch

00:20:16.580 do you see what i'm saying right right like it's just it's like it itches i'm not gonna fix it i'm

00:20:23.700 not gonna get modest at seven or whatever it's like it itches and i want the itch to stop see

00:20:28.580 what i'm saying no i see what you're saying masking it'd be like it'd be like i've always

00:20:32.380 thought that it's purchased because my vagina is never itch so i can't even imagine but i've

00:20:37.360 always thought it was purchased in conjunction with other medications i'm sure it is like that's

00:20:41.180 just symptom really i'm sure it is i just still think it's funny that it's it's a product that

00:20:45.940 just it's it's merely palliative as they say right right i have huge news about the tibetan monks

00:20:51.820 my dad sent me an article would you like to know it's big it's big so apparently these tibetan

00:20:56.560 monks when they when they die they they treat it as a process and they do this meditation where

00:21:01.320 they slowly let their um consciousness sort of unroll unfurl and dissolve into the universal

00:21:07.860 okay this is dying ostensibly laid out on a bed you know you're dying no they they're sitting

00:21:13.000 no they die sitting up i believe as far as i can tell anyway in a meditative position

00:21:16.680 and here's the big news they die their bodies last for weeks what do you mean okay theta broken

00:21:22.720 to say that situation it's not okay no i did have the oh your theta is such that it's literally

00:21:30.860 real okay now weeks i slightly is that because they're like on the top of a mountain and it's

00:21:35.460 freezing i slightly i said weeks when i but i know for sure well here's the thing the body

00:21:40.980 shows decomposition usually after about four hours okay god that's fast this this guy saw

00:21:45.940 his friend after five days the monkey is still sitting okay he's dead and he's sitting up

00:21:53.500 no it's they're trying to break in and say it's rigor mortis okay they're scientists

00:22:00.380 studying it okay no there aren't i'm serious i'll forward it to you i can't wait i can't wait 0.94

00:22:06.820 time magazine just like officially like a shit ride it wasn't in time it wasn't in time time

00:22:12.480 like when time magazine was a thing about science it was like it was like the cover was like a test 0.92

00:22:17.360 tube and it was like we've got all the answers baby or whatever and now i feel like time magazine

00:22:21.840 black background something about time like the science section of time and again haven't picked

00:22:26.780 one up but like i just feel like what you're describing is an article that i feel like would

00:22:31.560 be in time well it should be look okay what you're showing me i can't tell what i'm looking at

00:22:36.160 monk who's dead i see okay okay and what are the ethics of that i want to know that's why he's 0.80

00:22:42.420 turned away yeah you know you know he's turned away i don't even want my dead back blasted on

00:22:48.020 the internet why i don't even want my dead back blasted on the internet in some ways but here's

00:22:56.220 my question do you remember there was a thing many years back actually i should look it up see

00:23:00.180 if it's still there it was like someone put a camera this was an internet phenomenon someone

00:23:05.860 put a camera in a coffin so we could all watch the person decompose over i think they you know

00:23:11.980 the person chose it yeah i mean i hope so i remember it and just a little light and i'm

00:23:17.160 decomposing and um you know i would check back because i'm very curious about the decomposition

00:23:22.940 of the body i would like to check in on that i mean i actually was driving by a graveyard oh no

00:23:28.820 it usually decomposes for minutes i said for hours do you want to be buried or do you want

00:23:33.320 to be cremated or you know press into a diamond worn around right worn by an inklet definitely

00:23:39.320 diamond but i mean if that's an option i'll you know not a diamond i think i would rather be a

00:23:44.200 sapphire yeah they put a little blue in there put a little blue dye in there yeah um i think i don't

00:23:52.300 know i don't know i think rot in the ocean i think i think dump my body in the ocean yeah i think so

00:23:58.300 too like like because like i don't love the image of being burned i'm not precious about like

00:24:03.340 remains don't really intrigue me like like like remains i mean i say that now but have you ever

00:24:10.300 well here's the question kate here's actually i'm very precious about my body have you ever had

00:24:15.200 right you're like well i've never been i'm like who cares i'm like oh wait i actually think i

00:24:19.160 might care deeply here's my question have you ever lost a pet so yes then you'll suddenly discover

00:24:24.000 for example that i know you're right like my cats me and my cats remains like me figuring out what

00:24:30.020 vessel you know like choosing the vessel i already have the vessel actually everything i'm saying as 0.53

00:24:35.160 usual is bullshit and i'm gonna immediately contradict myself because i already have the

00:24:40.100 vessels for my parents you do yeah okay well i don't have them like in my possession no i know 0.98

00:24:45.780 what you mean you mean you have them in your mind we've discussed it oh it's not just my mind we've

00:24:49.680 discussed the dining room table yeah because for me yeah i'm gonna need to know i sensed you pull

00:24:56.160 back going i'm not gonna say i know i started to pull back because the world shouldn't know it's

00:25:00.940 yeah i started to pull back also because it's like if i get too into the details they'll both

00:25:04.480 be dead by morning you know it's like i'm like putting it out into the universe and i'm constantly

00:25:09.160 working on facing the inevitability of my own orphan my orphanism right i yeah i don't want

00:25:16.860 to be burned i mean i don't want to be burned because i don't know what if i'm still in there

00:25:21.960 like the monks okay what if i'm still in there the monks are not gone okay okay there's

00:25:28.900 no no no no they have but they no no but the it takes a little time even if you're an

00:25:35.420 data is insisting that they they're already gone from the body the point is they're not

00:25:38.940 okay they're it's a transition they've stopped thinking okay but but but they're they're well

00:25:45.360 they're dead according well this is the question data's going so they're not dead i'm going what

00:25:49.160 is death data is it eeg activity is it eeg activity because then in that sense yeah they

00:25:55.900 were dead making it to dinner okay they're dead there's no organ movement and their brains are

00:26:00.940 flat okay however their body's fresh okay i was wondering the other day is this been done is this

00:26:08.020 a thing about drinking a tiny bit of uh embalming fluid every day tiny bit so that give it a whirl

00:26:17.160 when you die you're you're preserved you're preserved because i was thinking that i do think

00:26:22.360 it would be nice to be preserved like really like a just hideous oddity you know like yeah yeah like

00:26:27.680 stuff to be like an upsetting i would love to be stuffed at like yes my dream of like at the top

00:26:32.900 of the stairs of a fabulous house for a lot of parties and i'm just stuffed at the top of the

00:26:37.040 stairs what about us embracing what about us stuff stuffed embracing okay wow how much could that go

00:26:42.480 for if we died tomorrow okay so like like you and me like if we die tomorrow i'm totally willing to

00:26:49.860 be stuffed embraced stuffed embracing like in a comical pose actually i think it should be like

00:26:54.740 both open-mouthed horror yeah like we're yeah yeah like we're freaked out we're dead yeah instead of

00:27:00.280 like peaceful like you know there's like yeah like staring off like we've done screaming into the

00:27:04.100 abyss how much do you think we could get for our stuffed corpses how much do you think unfortunately

00:27:09.460 not too much because no i know if family members and friends are excluded a lot of people would

00:27:14.280 probably pay to not have them yeah exactly who's gonna buy it ucb who's gonna buy it i don't know

00:27:23.640 someone just for the fun of it but but but what would be a I don't know anyway yeah but burned

00:27:28.780 so I'm not thrilled by being burned even though you know traditionally I've always felt like yes

00:27:32.940 dust to dust burn me you know being underground is obviously so heinous I mean again and I'll say

00:27:39.400 it again if the consciousness stays near the body for a little while clinging in desperation before

00:27:44.740 its thoughts have completely unraveled right I mean I know that at this hospice that my

00:27:49.800 grandfather was at in the end of his days they don't move the body for like a couple days or

00:27:54.840 no no that can't be right no it's something it's something like that either they don't move the

00:27:59.100 body or they like leave it there or they don't like strip the room or something they like let

00:28:04.060 it be that person's room for a few days after they die because like there's like some you know

00:28:09.840 and this wasn't this wasn't a new age not stripping the room is nice but there's no way they let him

00:28:15.260 there stay there for days not to well they had him sipping they had him sipping break it and

00:28:21.000 disrupt the narrative but no but but but um sorry wait what were you saying no i just have the

00:28:26.400 cheesiest idea of what to do with remains which is ground into a powder and then put into a paint

00:28:31.200 set and then you have people paint with your ashes for years paint with you oh god isn't that awful

00:28:38.200 no i like that i like that it just reminded me of something hideous i heard someone say once in

00:28:42.660 college about like they had this idea they were like it's really beautiful we're gonna like we're

00:28:46.780 gonna give a home homeless people is what the person said watercolors yes paint it and then

00:28:52.860 we're gonna sell the paintings and then we're gonna give them the money or whatever and it's 0.99

00:28:55.900 just like this is ill-conceived just write them a check you absolute asshole yes yeah it's so 1.00

00:29:01.620 heinous right and then just like hang those hang hang those and they're like home yeah yeah we 1.00

00:29:07.700 gotta go to break because and i because all this cremation is me getting me in the mood to talk

00:29:12.180 about something really exciting. It starts with a G. Gone a real. Grilling after the break. Oh, 0.52

00:29:18.960 okay. Okay. We're back and I had an absolute, and again, after last week's episode, which really

00:29:31.920 did change me. I know I'm moving away from epiphanies, anti-epiphany, but I have to say

00:29:36.800 i had an incredible experience grilling last night okay okay so where i'm staying they have

00:29:42.520 like for the residents they have these like gorgeous grills for the residents is a great

00:29:46.700 phrase i love it but i thought that i would never have like there's a pool here and grills that like

00:29:52.860 i thought i would only come into contact with if i like married like an nfl player yes or like

00:29:57.380 something like very like kind of like rich like yes kind of like hideous but like beautiful

00:30:02.920 appliances yeah and so suddenly i was kind of pulled it out of my fear of grilling because

00:30:08.760 grilling to me i'm like oh the tongs like something about that like it's an electric

00:30:12.500 grill it's simple i'm not i'm not wrestling with charcoal yeah okay or worse propane i can't talk

00:30:17.940 about the dinner i made okay oh wow i go to whole foods i get a slab of wild salmon the salmon by

00:30:23.740 the way wasn't on like i'm used to seeing fish like packed on ice yeah the fish was kind of just

00:30:28.220 laying there on a piece of metal and i got really scared and i bought it and the guy behind and i

00:30:32.580 kind of tried to engage the fish man and be like that's right two people it's pretty good right

00:30:36.500 and he was like charmless and not charmed by me and so then i not charmed by talk of your party

00:30:42.100 yeah i hated that he wasn't charmed and then so then i was like i almost had the urge to go 0.98

00:30:45.960 no ice huh you bastard trying to poison the whole community you know right right right i just took 0.97

00:30:51.540 the i took the shank and so i grill this piece of salmon just olive oil salt and pepper okay i get 0.99

00:30:57.200 some broccolini i'm grilling the broccolini i take a lemon i cut that in half i put that on the grill

00:31:01.700 when i tell you that in mere minutes i had a dinner that

00:31:06.320 i am writing poetry i am reading again right it truly the light behind my eyes as i was eating it

00:31:15.420 sprinkled on top of the broccolini the charred broccolini i might add the lemon juice the

00:31:20.500 salt bought a box of maldon yesterday and then parmesan on top pepper oh unreal and i thought

00:31:28.480 this is it we grill fish we grill vegetables for the rest of our lives and this is all we have to

00:31:33.640 do and i will be grilling it's the secret to health and joy the problem with fish okay can

00:31:40.860 you get full i mean there are many problems but continue no but i'm serious can you get full

00:31:45.360 can you ever be truly full on fish now i'm i include yes even if you ate let's say 10 whole

00:31:51.080 fishes okay spiritually for me okay it doesn't matter how much fish i eat i understand i i have

00:31:58.280 a profound belief that i'm not full even if my stomach is out all the way you're not satisfied

00:32:04.380 yeah there's something what about shrimp well i because you know i love and this is classic this

00:32:09.040 is classic me this is what happened yesterday and this is like goes along with the no epiphanies

00:32:12.620 but this is about my own difficulty staying present is that i was eating the grilled meal

00:32:17.320 i couldn't believe how delicious it was i couldn't believe that i had made it so i immediately started

00:32:21.300 planning other meals the food this meal's not even done yet and i go grilled shrimp skewers

00:32:25.280 finally i'm finally an adult i'm a woman now i'm gonna get i'm gonna grill and i start planning

00:32:30.700 these future meals in my mind i go wild i go afternoon italian meze plato we're gonna do

00:32:35.400 yeah i'm gonna grill grill bread i'm gonna grate tomato great tomato it's like an italian thing

00:32:40.800 where you take the tomato and you just grate it right take all the skin away it's just the juices 1.00

00:32:45.060 oh put that on grilled bread put some burrata on there are you out of your fucking mind you 0.98

00:32:49.980 think you're not gonna i have huge news about burrata what the outside of it's a problem the 0.98

00:32:54.100 skin yeah yeah the thick egg oh is that what that is is like burrata but it's not burrata

00:33:01.920 but it's that creamy heavenly oh see i thought this ragi tell it was actually you just want to 0.99

00:33:05.820 slap it just slap your ass on it because i feel like i feel like burrata came in and was treated 0.99

00:33:11.400 as like why were we fools eating buffalo mozzarella the whole time when we could have 0.99

00:33:15.500 been having this creamy burrata and i love mozzarella right and i did that for a long

00:33:19.220 time and then i'm starting to be like yeah but i feel like i'm just there for the inside of the

00:33:22.800 barata and the outside of the barata just feels like this kind of like rubber cage now right

00:33:27.380 right you just want the creamy interior yeah and someone was like well let me you know go back to

00:33:31.860 is it buffalo again well guess what i say i love mozzarella i've been eating pastas nightly that

00:33:37.920 you would scream you made a pasta no oh i've been pouring money into the city's um honey you say

00:33:44.780 batarga i know what you're talking about was it outro not only outro i'm in a i'm in a batarga

00:33:49.360 I had a pasta at Eltro that...

00:33:51.140 Well, I actually had Bitarga on pasta at Eltro last night.

00:33:54.020 Okay, literally, literally.

00:33:54.940 Well, I've had bags at pasta.

00:33:55.980 However, I also had the Bitarga at another place that I really enjoy that we bleeped recently.

00:34:00.300 And by the way, people loved the bleep.

00:34:02.200 Okay.

00:34:03.420 They said it was like industrial.

00:34:06.180 What the bleep do we know?

00:34:08.000 A lot, apparently.

00:34:09.720 See, I'm stroking out.

00:34:11.180 I never...

00:34:11.740 I wanted to get to tuna melts because...

00:34:13.540 Let's talk tuna.

00:34:14.080 I have gone through a period here where I've been getting...

00:34:17.080 i've been getting tuna melts there has been a period of getting them near nightly

00:34:21.720 and i want to talk about the perfect consistency the perfect consistency of what is a perfect

00:34:27.320 tuna melt top five favorite foods tuna melts going in there yeah i was it was this you or

00:34:32.600 was this john early i was in new york once in the day craving a tuna melt could not locate one

00:34:38.100 went to a diner i go can i have a tuna melt they go we don't have a tuna melt on the menu

00:34:43.280 I go you have a tuna sandwich can you just you know melt that they go are you sitting down they

00:34:48.660 go well no we can't do that because if you heat up mayonnaise you get food poisoning

00:34:55.040 these people were trying to gaslight me that is one of the most astonishing gaslights I've ever

00:35:02.840 heard I can't believe I didn't just completely have them shut down commit arson it was so

00:35:08.720 shocking i'm like yeah if you leave mayo out in this in the blistering sun for a few hours you

00:35:13.660 can't eat it or you boil yeah also cook mayonnaise what of course welcome to every dip she looked at

00:35:20.220 me it was so upsetting dip is cooked mayonnaise it was so upsetting but sorry back on tuna melt

00:35:25.480 though tuna melt so my ideal tuna melt i'm just gonna say it really fast i want sourdough i want

00:35:29.480 a super fermented sourdough. I want cheddar that's so sharp it could cut a bullet. I want it bright

00:35:39.420 orange. I want hooks. I'm reaching out. I'm saying right now, hooks, cheddar. This is a very top

00:35:45.320 shelf cheddar that I'm always on the hunt for. It's very expensive cheddar. Hooks. If you're

00:35:49.760 listening, hooks, send me cheddar. I repeat, send me cheddar. By the way, we were sent incredible

00:35:54.160 cheese from a cheese cave in Brooklyn and I'm going to find their name right now or post it

00:35:58.580 this week because i was gobbling into the night sitting on my yoga mat but go on kate sorry i

00:36:03.100 just felt bad for the cheese people that's it but i just i want the sourdough i want that and

00:36:07.820 it's what i want and what about the tuna in it what's that gotta be what's your ideal tuna salad

00:36:13.280 tuna i go i go cross-eyed i'm like i mean i i love i made a tuna salad the other day and i do

00:36:19.200 at home i love doing tons of parsley celery red onion or shallots and loads of pepper salt

00:36:27.460 mustard mayo what have i said yeah and you gotta have good mustard okay you gotta you gotta

00:36:32.580 that's what i'll do and then god that was good i put it on a salad the next day had

00:36:39.240 crackers with it couldn't believe it standing up in my kitchen me wow free at last

00:36:43.540 i've had a tuna melt that i've been so for me i've been going rye okay oh yeah baby and then

00:36:52.300 one night i think i did a an english muffin to to to recreate the experience of a tuna melt like

00:36:58.100 in my kitchen as a child like me making one in a toaster super crispy english muffin toaster oven

00:37:04.240 something i've never engaged with and always dreamt of literally never i believe that because

00:37:08.820 i grew up in a home without a toaster oven i will never own one right right and there were toaster

00:37:13.220 oven homes that i would visit and i would see those mothers and i would go and i i was jealous

00:37:18.440 you've never had a pizza bagel really then no those were not in my home okay because the pizza

00:37:22.280 a bagel i mean it's one of the most god the feeling of just being home alone finally after

00:37:27.800 a hellish day at school okay and just putting together something even like like a lender's

00:37:34.240 bagel right classically the worst bagel if you compare it to real bagels okay if you take it for

00:37:39.600 what it is it's it's heaven okay it's small i don't even know what what is going on there but

00:37:44.960 a double toasted and i just that's a term i've heard okay but i just mean toasted to the point

00:37:49.060 of whatever a layer just pouring some you know high end or low end frankly i'm a big classico

00:37:55.700 fan big classico fan stand by classico okay classico tomato sauce okay sure yeah they're

00:38:02.080 marinaras they're they're for cheese okay listen listen listen you said the classico and then i

00:38:07.420 got an image my mom totally bought classico yeah because it's good no it's it's like before they

00:38:12.800 they stocked rayos slash rouse this has been a question it's come up a few times i was shamed

00:38:18.100 into saying rouse because i heard a boyfriend say it that way once and i thought he knew more than

00:38:21.480 me i've been saying it that way for years it's rayos i said rayos for years then i said rouse

00:38:26.380 and then someone who listened to the episode about it i guess said said you know i don't know

00:38:30.820 it's unclear but it's delicious and i will and i have i have eaten it straight from the container

00:38:37.460 multiple times okay cold well technically yes i won't lie okay but yes like almost like like

00:38:43.840 like in a pinch like it's so good but anyway pouring that heavy duty on a lenders god i'm

00:38:49.600 hungry keep going and then even like you know your nightmare okay like so like oh no there's

00:38:54.960 no shredded cheese whatever it doesn't have to be some classic shredded mozzarella anything will do

00:38:58.940 okay but even like in a real pinch if you have nothing but like completely shredded canister

00:39:03.980 parmesan you know the kind that you believe is made of shoes okay the kind that you have said

00:39:08.120 is made of the souls of converse okay that i'm like even if it is great it's amazing shake that

00:39:14.480 on where you create a layer so thick it might as well be a slab of cheese yikes oh you're losing

00:39:19.640 me and then i like shake a little like basil on there or something it's so good uh oh and then

00:39:25.820 you know i have our first bite and then you know i have knuckle burns i i have scars on the top of

00:39:32.740 my hand from from growing up with a toaster oven from reaching in excitedly okay to pull out the

00:39:38.640 thing when you reach i reach in you have to yeah that's scary above you heat below you and i reach

00:39:42.820 for the thing instead of using like a spatula or something i have a psa the amount of people that

00:39:47.460 i have seen adults taking a piece of toast out of a toaster with a metal knife oh what is going on

00:39:55.640 you mean electrocution because i have seen three close friends take a metal knife to extract toast

00:40:03.940 from a toaster i don't know if that's a problem wait no i'm just telling you if the metal of the

00:40:08.000 knife touches it you are cremated baby no no no no the toaster itself is metal instant cremation

00:40:15.320 the toaster itself is metal what like you can't be holding a knife and stick it in an active toaster

00:40:20.800 i believe you can i don't think that if the toaster had okay weigh in listeners the listeners can

00:40:25.300 weigh in listeners i'm preparing funereal rites you shouldn't put a rubber one in there or rather

00:40:33.540 not a rubber one a plastic well sure melt i wasn't born yesterday hun no i i there's something in me

00:40:41.860 that feels like if i'm sticking the knife in there to sort of grab the thing from the side

00:40:46.120 that like it feels a little dangerous to me but i'm like no this is there's technically nothing

00:40:49.400 wrong here because i'm not conducting i'm not sticking my hand in a in a open socket it's a

00:40:55.880 heat source no okay we're gonna look it up we're gonna figure it out would you drop a portable

00:41:00.100 phone in your bathtub and scream i would i would know that i would survive i would scream for other

00:41:06.440 reasons but i know that that's not going to kill you by the way the hunger has officially set in

00:41:10.520 and guess what you i'm guess what i'm eating guess where i'm going after this italian food baby

00:41:14.100 italian food aperol spritz in my mouth i know you love that i have been nightly italian i'm going

00:41:19.300 again tonight i found a new place i don't even want to i don't want to mention it i don't want

00:41:23.780 to mention it i'll send you a photo um because you don't want to mention because for security

00:41:27.460 reasons no you already can't get a reservation i'm i'm all day every day in putting different

00:41:32.200 things into resi misi king no no you've never heard of it or you would have told me about it

00:41:37.700 no you've never heard of it or you would have told me about it it's as simple as that i'll post a

00:41:42.020 photo i'll post a photo it was it was um messed up and when i look when i look at the photo of it

00:41:46.880 my mouth waters it was it was it was like what was it it was like how dare you the food itself

00:41:51.200 yeah well yeah what picture is making a series of pastas it was it was a series of pastas a series

00:41:56.660 of pastas it was a lobster with this special lobster related pasta that came with it it was

00:42:02.220 these crispy potatoes that were there was a like a like a pasta that involved like these chewy ribbed

00:42:08.940 like noodles that were insane pieces of sourdough like worked into the pasta i mean where i'm staying

00:42:15.880 i'm in pittsburgh right now security risk

00:42:18.640 and and a lot of italian food here but i have to say i've gone to a few italian delis and by a few

00:42:28.860 i mean exactly two and they have no sandwiches so i'm seeing a counter with interesting cheese

00:42:33.600 meat the whole thing i go oh where's my sandwich they go we don't do that i go excuse me you so

00:42:38.780 you're not so let me get you so you're selling all the components separately they're beautiful

00:42:42.500 You're not putting them in a sandwich

00:42:43.660 Because

00:42:45.160 I one time was with comedian friend

00:42:48.400 Matteo Lane

00:42:49.940 At a restaurant in New York called Parm

00:42:52.240 Which sort of acts like it's an Italian restaurant

00:42:54.080 But sort of more acts like

00:42:55.760 Ours is Americanized

00:42:57.320 We are doing Americanized classic from

00:42:59.540 Your childhood of the 80s

00:43:01.260 R.I.P. Terese

00:43:02.200 Deep cut there 0.98

00:43:04.600 I just have to say it

00:43:06.740 And Matteo was like

00:43:07.680 He looks at the menu of these

00:43:11.840 sort of americanized things he's like can i just get a simple panino okay he's like like just like

00:43:16.440 a simple panino like like like can you work it out back there like i just i'm talking about a piece

00:43:20.280 of bread like a piece of cheese and a piece of basil like just a panino like and i'm not doing

00:43:25.440 it well but we we've we've like we've literally laughed about it for 10 years and then panino

00:43:29.540 yeah and they couldn't they couldn't they could only create like like they couldn't you know 0.73

00:43:33.780 because like they're not like they were bastards they're not like we're italians yeah yeah okay 0.73

00:43:38.020 Well I'm starving 0.99

00:43:38.740 You're starving

00:43:39.360 I'm about to go have dinner

00:43:40.360 I'm so excited

00:43:41.220 We gotta wrap it up

00:43:42.160 I'm having Italian again tonight

00:43:43.460 We'll talk about it

00:43:44.140 I want to talk about Italian food

00:43:45.200 All week next week

00:43:46.160 Okay I love you

00:43:46.880 I miss you

00:43:47.600 Sorry

00:43:48.120 I love when we talk

00:43:49.200 Love you

00:43:50.320 That

00:43:51.760 Was POOG

00:43:53.360 If you enjoyed POOG

00:43:54.840 Please subscribe

00:43:56.020 Rate and review

00:43:57.100 If not

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - August 10, 2021

Zucchini Solutions

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