Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Muscles

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00:00:34.480 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:00:35.720 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:00:36.820 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:00:41.540 Two untamable intellects.

00:00:43.320 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:00:44.160 This is our hell.

00:00:45.020 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:00:47.320 This is POOG.

00:00:48.740 Today's topic, smoothly speaking, tailbone pain, fascia, the Ferragun.

00:00:55.420 Greetings, it is us.

00:00:56.660 this is the muscle manipulation episode manipulating muscle is a huge part of my life

00:01:02.700 it's funny you say because right at this moment i'm pressing on my neck because i can feel a

00:01:06.880 migraine coming on so i'm actually actively manipulating the muscle live as we discuss it

00:01:11.740 fair warning my audio was lightly cursed lightly gently her audio was lightly compromised but we

00:01:19.360 don't need to talk about that well you should have perfection from a home studio it's called 0.64

00:01:22.520 COVID folks. All of which is to say the audio is mildly compromised, but POOG listeners are

00:01:29.520 empathetic creatures and they understand that's what happens. They get an exercise for you.

00:01:33.940 So please enjoy. Enjoy the episode. So I've heard a lot about how, you know,

00:01:39.760 the key to health or stretching, the importance of stretching. You hear this and it isn't until

00:01:44.140 you really start stretching that you realize that that's true. However, I was involved in a lot of

00:01:49.280 rigorous stretching for months. And then I stopped cold turkey. And I will say that I feel a

00:01:55.040 difference. Right now, I can't touch my toes when I bend over. Whereas when I was deep in my Pilates

00:02:00.760 yoga, as I was referring to it as my sacred morning ritual, sacred morning, for those of

00:02:08.680 you who have heard, sacred morning was the first few months of quarantine when I was waking up,

00:02:13.460 meditating, doing my journaling, drinking the alkaline water, and doing an hour of yoga.

00:02:17.800 and I was euphoric every day.

00:02:21.200 Things were great.

00:02:22.060 I stopped and now things are bad.

00:02:24.420 Okay?

00:02:25.500 Coincidence?

00:02:26.160 But this is the only difference that now you can't touch your toes.

00:02:28.940 You see what I'm saying?

00:02:29.800 I know.

00:02:30.300 No, I think there is a mental component, but even just today,

00:02:33.040 I was touching my toes.

00:02:35.040 I was trying to touch my toes and guess who couldn't?

00:02:37.240 Me. 1.00

00:02:37.820 I'm trapped at the shins. 1.00

00:02:39.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:40.080 See, I'm fairly flexible due to like just, you know,

00:02:43.640 a general belief in my own flexibility.

00:02:45.740 you've always been so flexible it comes from early gymnastics work you know what i mean i

00:02:51.040 don't know if i'm truly inflexible i have inherited the trauma of my mother telling

00:02:56.640 me for years that i'm inflexible quote just like your father no and so i now i'm like i'm inflexible

00:03:03.400 my dad's inflexible but what if i am flexible no and this is this is the way mothers poison 0.53

00:03:10.180 the magic of their daughters okay they want to keep you small they don't want little witch

00:03:13.900 growing bigger than big witch we're doing an episode actually called mother or mothers

00:03:19.400 eventually but talk to me about because you are very flexible i've always been in awe well no you

00:03:25.400 know what it is my best friend growing up was a deep in training ballerina okay well whoa so

00:03:33.140 you can imagine okay um but she would always be doing the frog stretch on the ground where you're

00:03:38.240 laying down you're just you know they're opening their hips at all costs right wow the turnout the

00:03:42.960 turnout the turnout the hips I have to just say it's all in the hips and I do have tight hips 0.95

00:03:47.960 is it because I'm a bitch no no I'm always right I'm you're not you're not letting like the creative 0.95

00:03:54.080 like flow in this because you're not safe in the world you're not like completely opening yourself 0.98

00:03:58.380 via your hips to the creative is that what it is because I once know but that's the comment on my

00:04:02.380 hips I think that's the rude that's like stop being a little prudes you know yeah I was like 0.98

00:04:08.260 i'm horny bitch i don't need you to tell me my hips are tight she but she did tell me that my 1.00

00:04:12.780 hips she was like will you have children and i was like i don't know will you yeah and then 1.00

00:04:18.560 she was like well before you have kids you're really gonna have to loosen up those hips wow

00:04:23.660 i guess she was trying to help me but yeah i'm yearning to have this is a real you know classic

00:04:29.400 product quest right i want tight hip flexors because i'm intrigued by the products that claim

00:04:34.380 to fix them i mean this is why like if i was a guy i'd probably get like well i don't want to say

00:04:39.440 this because i actually don't know what it means but i was gonna say is like i feel like joe rogan

00:04:42.920 like pushes a psoas stretcher okay it's like a thing you lay on that really pushes into your

00:04:49.200 like psoas muscle okay it's all about the psoas and it's like it's like it's one of those things

00:04:53.800 like you lay on the psoas and you cry about you know papa or whatever right yeah i don't think

00:04:58.160 Joe Rogan's peddling that he's like button it up and go to Iraq no no no but he's like yeah that's

00:05:07.880 well that's what I was like devastated about me at least and I don't know anything about him okay

00:05:10.860 like me neither okay but I know that like occasionally in the past he's dipped into

00:05:15.600 topics of interest to me like astral projection okay and we'll talk about this another day but

00:05:19.860 like some people say that you know like if you go off into weirdness like you circle back around

00:05:24.620 a conspiracy theory. You know what I mean? You break through to the other side. So I'm very

00:05:29.080 interested in the inside of my body as we, you know, I regularly lament the fact that I can't

00:05:33.620 get in there. Right. And I'm more scared of the inside of my body. You want to know I would prefer

00:05:38.540 not to. I mean, I want things to run smoothly, but I don't want to know. I want zippers. I want

00:05:44.040 zippers unzip manually massage from the interior out. I will say that my and I can get into this

00:05:51.180 now or later, but those close to we know, I did have chronic tailbone pain for nine months.

00:05:57.240 Nine?

00:05:57.500 And I'll just get into it now since I'm talking specifically.

00:06:00.480 It was nine months. So one night I went dancing as I used to do in my wild, wild youth. And I

00:06:08.400 danced really, really hard on the floors of this club or cement. And I was of course wearing

00:06:16.700 healed boots no support didn't matter danced all night threw my neck out the fun stuff wow

00:06:22.840 and the tailbone like sorry jumping ahead the next day I was like ow and then I ignored ignored

00:06:30.340 but I was experiencing this chronic tailbone pain to the point that sitting down was hurting me

00:06:36.460 and it was bad and I went to you know I went I saw the chiropractor right I went to the physical

00:06:44.300 therapist well listen i was always afraid of chiropractors because my parents are always like 0.99

00:06:50.600 bunch of quacks you know and totally but i but i went to physical therapist who's a trusted 0.99

00:06:56.000 real doctors right exactly i went to a trusted physical therapist who's deep in the family unit 0.86

00:07:01.900 at this point shout out to suzanne tom and she was working on me and she was hooking up you know

00:07:08.160 electrical prods to my my ass basically like the muscles like around my tailbone and i went a bunch

00:07:14.600 of times and she was like honestly i'm not helping you you got to go to this chiropractor i went to 0.97

00:07:17.920 this chiropractor and the first thing that was scary was that she had me fill out she was like

00:07:23.080 you have to consent you know that if i basically i break your neck like you can't sue me i was like

00:07:27.940 where's the door sweetheart you know that was scary yeah but then she also made a reference to

00:07:32.520 my number one fear stroke i constantly self-administer stroke tests because i'm

00:07:37.600 convinced i'm in throes of an early stroke all the time due to also the constant migraine so

00:07:43.460 i'm like well a stroke is near but that's not true knock on wood i'm knocking on wood

00:07:47.060 but i there's no use wearing but strokes to me it's just like it's scary though but she mentioned

00:07:53.000 to me she was like she said this and this has never left me she said you're more likely to

00:07:57.980 get a stroke getting your hair washed at the hairdresser when you put your neck in the hell

00:08:03.760 lock of the little of the sink she was like you're more likely to get a stroke getting your hair

00:08:09.100 washed in that thing than chiropractor I'll also not I'll also not do that then isn't that terrifying

00:08:15.820 never been back never been back I also I really don't enjoy getting my hair styled but anyway

00:08:21.520 so i but i'll just say this too it's the closest i've come to abuse is is other somewhere but she

00:08:29.240 last one detail i'll say about her is i was horrified to learn she was my exact same age

00:08:33.900 which really threw me i was like so someone my age who's raised on the same monsanto apples as i am 1.00

00:08:41.440 is i'm now putting my whole body into her hands she's cracking my spine in half and it was a it

00:08:50.480 was a huge trust exercise for me but i have to tell you she cracked me and for the first time

00:08:55.980 and at that point months i had complete relief i was walking around the office on the verge of

00:09:00.520 tears because the pain was gone and i also was feeling high i'll tell you it's it's a sad story

00:09:07.280 i know that's the thing though no i know it was temporary but i felt high and i told her i was

00:09:11.560 like i kind of feel like i'm stoned she's like yes that happens when we release the whatever

00:09:15.140 we'll look into it but yeah I was so happy I remember calling my mother being like the pain's

00:09:20.860 gone and then two hours later the pain's back okay and then I'll just say I got an MRI it was

00:09:27.500 a whole thing MRIs terrifying folks dying well I begged for an MRI for Christmas for years I was

00:09:34.880 like please let me know and they were my parents were like no so then I was actually kind of

00:09:42.060 excited to get the MRI. And actually I did experience some anxiety in the machine because

00:09:46.760 it is terrifying. And one of the things that helped me manage my anxiety while getting the MRI

00:09:51.160 was imagining I had a daughter to pick up from school. I was like, you have to be strong for

00:09:56.420 her. The daughter for you again. The daughter always returns for me. And I realized like that's

00:10:00.940 part of a reason people have kids because you have to, it's like when a little child has the

00:10:05.820 baby doll and is soothing the baby doll because it's like, I have to take care of the baby doll.

00:10:09.080 and then it takes the focus off herself. Okay. That's a whole other episode in itself.

00:10:13.180 So I was thinking about my daughter, the MRI. I'll just say this. They found a hairline fracture

00:10:18.660 on my tailbone in the MRI. And they said, did you fall anything? I said, there was no fall.

00:10:23.940 There was no injury. I traced it back to the night of wild dancing. And they said, yeah,

00:10:28.720 that could be it. Apparently. Yes. Are you sure? Cause I just, I had a vision and, and, and, you

00:10:33.820 know, I've been trying to open my gifts up. Okay. Various gifts. The moment that you said

00:10:37.740 hairline fracture i saw you in the very boots you just described a long coat in new york on the

00:10:44.200 sidewalk taking a classic banana style peel slip and fall down on no i would remember that no you're

00:10:51.780 out you're you're no you're out you're drinking first of all i don't drink to get drunk i drink 0.98

00:10:56.620 to get perfectly tipsy but i could still talk to the goddamn bishop if i needed to i don't 0.99

00:11:02.980 And Dora is in control. 0.98

00:11:04.820 But I, listen to me, there was no fall.

00:11:07.720 I love the idea of you in this moment.

00:11:09.740 I did fall.

00:11:10.760 It was winter.

00:11:11.720 Ice.

00:11:12.240 Ice in Connecticut.

00:11:14.400 No, there was no fall.

00:11:15.920 But the doctor said, A, he said, people come in with fractures on the tailbone from ostensibly no injury.

00:11:23.880 I traced.

00:11:24.700 Stress injury?

00:11:25.620 Stress fracture?

00:11:26.200 I traced it back to the dancing.

00:11:28.420 Although I did talk to a masseuse or someone.

00:11:30.640 I went to like some. 0.99

00:11:31.200 it's massage therapist masseuse is a sexualized 1.00

00:11:34.440 I'm glad to hear that 1.00

00:11:36.900 massage therapist 1.00

00:11:38.180 who did fuck me 1.00

00:11:39.400 and so careful 0.99

00:11:41.540 and they said to me

00:11:43.860 I guess it was a masseuse

00:11:45.700 but they said they were like well

00:11:47.540 your seat is all about

00:11:49.940 security or family

00:11:52.620 or safety

00:11:53.420 and I was like well I'm in a very stable

00:11:56.220 relationship

00:11:56.980 tribal

00:11:58.060 right no no i know the chakras like i know god damn something but i'll just say that it truly

00:12:04.880 was a whole thing of one day i woke up and the pain was just gone but it took a full nine months

00:12:08.840 and there was a period of me getting on planes with a donut inflatable have those donuts ever

00:12:17.760 worked for anything did they work no for your tailbone because you know those are notoriously

00:12:22.580 i know so i was getting on planes they're not supposed to be good for them i was like a god 0.99

00:12:27.460 Goddamn hemorrhoid clown. 0.97

00:12:29.620 I say that as a joke because, you know, it's rude the way hemorrhoids have been made as 1.00

00:12:36.820 an ailment.

00:12:37.280 A joke.

00:12:38.200 Like, I remember once in this, like, summer camp thing, one of the kids, like, for the

00:12:42.160 counselor's birthday, we're getting him hemorrhoid cream.

00:12:44.660 Right, right.

00:12:45.360 Preparation age.

00:12:46.240 Ha, ha, ha.

00:12:46.440 And he's like, he's going to, yeah, he's going to open up his preparation age.

00:12:49.160 And we're like, ha, ha, ha.

00:12:50.400 I have to say that it's a huge miracle I've never had a hemorrhoid, not to brag.

00:12:55.360 But I still can't.

00:12:56.840 I still every year, every year on Christmas.

00:12:59.780 You'll note my silence.

00:13:01.500 You'll note me not drinking on that.

00:13:02.820 Well, I know.

00:13:03.320 Most people get them.

00:13:04.200 It's like it's a common internal hemorrhoids.

00:13:06.780 There should be no shame around hemorrhoids. 0.99

00:13:08.220 But I, again, not to brag about my pristine asshole, but I've never had one. 1.00

00:13:12.740 And it's shocking because we all know I'm red in the face on the toilet every goddamn day. 1.00

00:13:21.520 No, I think like I think the reason that you might have a perfect asshole or whatever is 0.99

00:13:26.600 because nothing's ever passed its lips you know what i mean due to the chronic constipation nothing's 0.99

00:13:31.000 ever you've taken three three bowel movements in your in your life and i recall you explaining

00:13:38.120 that you think the perfect uh bowel movement would be like a yam and it's not that's not good

00:13:42.320 enough kate like what is god's bowel movement you were like a yam and you're like really into yams 0.90

00:13:49.360 as is she's always cooking up a yams are an absolute staple for me and a manhattan cocktail

00:13:56.160 a yam teeny she's slicing a yeah but what's the cocktail you're using a negroni i used to drink

00:14:02.240 manhattan well actually i mean i used to drink whiskey i used to love it stops because of the

00:14:06.880 chronic migraines but my migraines are under control right now and it's absolutely changed

00:14:10.880 my life that's a whole other episode um okay so i was talking about my tailbone just to talk about

00:14:15.700 the back pain muscles I was getting massages more than I ever had in my life to try to

00:14:22.340 ease up the muscles surrounding my tailbone and what was crazy was that one day I just woke up

00:14:28.200 and the pain was gone and they say that's what happens it just disappears but it was a full

00:14:31.660 nine months of pain every day and you say that with with no hint of recognition of the meaning

00:14:37.720 of course nine months I understand of course gestation of a common baby because of what were

00:14:44.640 you, you know, I choose to live symbolically, okay? What were you gestating? Well, I wish that

00:14:52.140 I woke up one day and I was like, my script, it's done. That's what the pain was. But I mean,

00:14:57.540 I'll reference my journals, but there was nothing. I didn't feel that there was any kind of material

00:15:03.060 exam. I didn't feel there was anything in my life that felt like I had given birth,

00:15:08.760 that there was some process I had undergone. Well, this is a big question, okay? Because

00:15:14.320 can something happen with the body that has another meaning without you knowing? Okay.

00:15:20.180 I grew up with a mother with neck tension and migraines. Okay. I'll use the common plural

00:15:25.640 migraines, you know, and we all know it's migraine. I suffer from migraine. And we will

00:15:32.880 do a migraine episode, but my mother used to say, Oh, I'll pay you a dollar or maybe it was even 10.

00:15:38.820 I'm not sure if you will squeeze my neck right here, watching television, okay?

00:15:44.880 And it was always this idea of like, no, go harder, like really get in it, really get in it.

00:15:50.420 Whoa, your tiny hands working overtime.

00:15:53.340 Where's daddy, she says.

00:15:55.500 Dad's in the office, okay?

00:15:57.300 This late?

00:15:57.900 Okay, not looking at me, I'm the same, begging my boyfriend for his elbows, okay, to dig, to dig into my spine.

00:16:07.060 so i spend a lot of my time with a mental metaphor of my own body okay which is that it's a series of

00:16:13.500 sort of pulleys and things and i decide in my mind what it feels like and therefore what the solution

00:16:18.340 is so like i always feel this tension right here on i think what is the um trapezius okay and the

00:16:24.580 trapezius is just like as far as i can tell a big goddamn heavy thing all the way neck over the top

00:16:31.440 a blanket of hell okay and if you go like this you can kind of hit at it so i always feel like 0.68

00:16:35.540 it's so tense it's so tense and I start working it and then it takes on an obsessive quality where

00:16:39.640 I start to believe that I have the solution and so like now I would never do this but this is what

00:16:44.500 I want to do I start to think if I could just snip that muscle string oh with a scissor okay

00:16:50.260 going the relief I would feel now do you have any bodily like do you do anything that's bodily harm

00:17:00.420 in that way i mean even like chewing a fingernail you know like the ocd i have when i have migraines

00:17:08.120 i have roll ice rollers you know things like to roll on my head and everything and i've gone so

00:17:15.480 hard with those because the pain of the migraine grain is so intense that i am like a couple times

00:17:21.620 i've woke up in the morning i have like a welt on my forehead because i've been pounding like

00:17:26.120 rolling so hard over my forehead with this thing. Well, my only thing I ever have to say about just

00:17:32.040 massage in general, personally, in my experience, has been my number one complaint in a massage is

00:17:36.580 too weak, right? Swedish massage is a joke. It better be deep tissue, you know, or get out of

00:17:42.780 here. I'm embarrassed that Swedish massage is even on the menu. I mean, honestly, it might be me

00:17:48.020 because I scream when people give you massages. If someone I know gives me a massage, I scream.

00:17:53.220 If a stranger does it, I'm fine.

00:17:54.740 What do you think that means?

00:17:55.880 You lack trust in your friends.

00:17:58.440 Okay. 0.99

00:17:58.860 And you've always been a sucker for a, for a, for a certificate on a wall. 0.94

00:18:04.380 If there's a certificate on the wall, you can do anything you want to me. 0.93

00:18:07.480 It's a real problem.

00:18:09.960 And, you know, you can just print those out, but, but, but I think, and I want to get into

00:18:15.220 this with the, with the, well, so, so my biggest complaint, anytime massage comes up and anytime

00:18:20.840 I consider shelling out for one is, will it be strong enough? Okay. Now I find it personally

00:18:25.400 embarrassing to be on the table and say harder. Okay. That I find embarrassing. So I try to get

00:18:29.880 it set up in advance. You know, I try to choose the harshest thing on the menu. And sometimes you

00:18:34.180 can't tell. Is it the deep tissue? Is the athletic one going to be harder? Like my fear in life is

00:18:39.160 recovery. Okay. Like I'm terrified. I'm accidentally pay for the recovery yoga class.

00:18:45.760 Get deep breathing. Okay. Why did I come out? Why did I haul ass down the street? Okay. Yeah.

00:18:50.840 come in here and prenatal yoga nothing worse okay i'm embarrassed for the babies i know it's like

00:18:59.000 the babies can take it babies can certainly take it okay so what i i inevitably get into creating

00:19:04.040 my own devices laying on things i see when i'm going through a period of tension i see objects

00:19:08.780 around and i think that would really dig into my right corner of a table afraid corner of a table 0.98

00:19:14.260 is huge so anyway i've done it all but now it's time thanks to poop to get the free shit okay the 0.99

00:19:20.460 Hardcore free shit. 0.99

00:19:21.620 Send to me. 1.00

00:19:22.020 I haven't pulled the trigger before.

00:19:23.800 The muscle stuff.

00:19:24.660 I got a couple products I want to tell you about when we get back.

00:19:26.580 One of them you're going to get to try.

00:19:28.060 All right.

00:19:28.560 Pulling you from the slipstream of the poop conversation into the torrential waters of the ads.

00:19:34.000 Bye.

00:19:41.740 Jacqueline here to rescue you from the ad break.

00:19:44.300 It is time to rejoin the conversation.

00:19:46.340 So I have been on the forefront of the anti-cellulite movement from 1983.

00:19:51.280 Okay.

00:19:51.680 On now, you probably remember when Skechers, the shoes launched their shape up walkers.

00:19:57.100 Of course.

00:19:57.580 Okay.

00:19:57.720 That was about 15 years.

00:19:59.360 That was about 15 years after I was on, on top of this.

00:20:02.460 Okay.

00:20:03.060 Via bliss.

00:20:03.880 Remember bliss, the, the spa and wellness brands.

00:20:06.500 I mean, they're still around.

00:20:07.440 I just.

00:20:08.080 Right.

00:20:08.340 And they have the, you've talked about the really offensive products that are like your 1.00

00:20:11.000 fat ass. 1.00

00:20:12.420 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:20:12.980 They have creams. 1.00

00:20:13.800 They're like fat girl slim. 0.98

00:20:15.380 yeah like fat curl ass scrub you're like jesus christ and it doesn't feel like it's like in a 0.99

00:20:22.560 fun way like yeah like fat like you know it doesn't feel empowering or hot it feels really 0.99

00:20:28.700 mean and scary it feels like this like pr bitch being like you're fat let's help yeah i mean i 0.98

00:20:35.000 mean and and the anti-cellulite thing um i remember my friend the ballerina friend that i was telling 0.99

00:20:40.140 about who's obviously hyper aware you know from ballet of any realm of fat said so devastating

00:20:46.120 as a child as a teen oh where is she now six feet under how do you survive being a ballerina in this 0.99

00:20:52.980 world you know she she got out she got out um and they told her her hip bones themselves she didn't

00:21:00.000 make it into abt or whatever whatever it was in new york they said she dances beautifully but her

00:21:06.040 hip bones are too wide her hips went out but she stayed yeah so but i remember her being like and

00:21:14.540 you know this is my friend who like says things with confidence and impresses me and like and 0.99

00:21:19.520 she's like that's just how women store fat it's not like it's like you're fat she's like that's

00:21:24.000 how women store fat like this was a pre-fascia kind of moment the point is i'm walking through

00:21:28.760 an airport number of years later i see a book the title is it's not fat it's fascia

00:21:36.400 F-A-S-C-I-A, okay?

00:21:39.280 You go, what?

00:21:40.280 I pick it up.

00:21:40.960 I start looking.

00:21:41.740 I don't even care about cellulite anymore.

00:21:43.300 But the fact that there's a new model,

00:21:45.860 someone is saying that your cellulite is not dimply fat, okay?

00:21:51.920 It's normal fat that is being pressed down on with a net,

00:21:56.340 a net of fascia strings, okay? 0.99

00:21:59.480 Oh, damn, I see it. 0.99

00:22:00.420 That are dimpling it. 0.99

00:22:01.920 So if you put a netted, you know,

00:22:03.700 if you put a chain link fence down on a piece of cheese, you'd get a dimpled appearance.

00:22:08.780 Right. Unless it's hard cheddar, but continue. Okay. Okay. Well, your fat can never be hard

00:22:13.840 cheddar. Your fat can never be hard cheddar. Okay. So are you telling me? Okay. So what do

00:22:16.840 we do? What do we do? Loosen up the fascia. Okay. And then $99 later, I've got a tool in my house.

00:22:23.640 Okay. Listeners, Jacqueline in this moment has pulled into frame one of the craziest things I've

00:22:29.640 ever seen. I don't even have the language to describe it. It's a rod. And then there are

00:22:34.020 these, what is that? Claws. There's like four plastic claws attached to it. I also have two

00:22:42.360 minis. So now here's the thing. There's a lot of controversy surrounding the fascia blaster.

00:22:46.820 Okay. And the basic idea is that fascia, if you're cooking a chicken, you ever work with

00:22:51.340 raw chicken? Okay. I detest this stuff, but I'm very scared of raw chicken. Okay. As am I. Okay.

00:22:56.240 But, you know, the sort of white film around where you got to break that open to get to the meat, that sort of stuff, that's fascia, okay?

00:23:01.900 Ew.

00:23:02.480 Connective tissue.

00:23:04.080 Anyway, and we're covered with it.

00:23:06.540 And basically, her whole thing is that we've ignored the fascia. 0.85

00:23:11.220 Doctors ignore the fascia.

00:23:12.340 No one talks about the fascia.

00:23:13.520 They think it's irrelevant.

00:23:14.320 Meanwhile, it's causing people pain.

00:23:16.220 It's causing people all manner of things because it gets tight.

00:23:19.160 So in the way we all talk about muscle, muscle, muscle, no, it might actually be a fascia problem.

00:23:22.760 Whoa.

00:23:23.120 And this, and this speaks to me because it's the idea of manual manipulation. Oh, I'm going to

00:23:27.000 loosen up the fascia. Okay. So I, you do it all over your body. Okay. The whole idea is that

00:23:33.120 you're supposed to warm it up, warm up the body. Okay. Get it nice and warm. So the fascia is warm

00:23:38.000 and then you can soften it up and loosen it up. So if you grind, grind, grind, grind, grind.

00:23:43.180 Well, what, like you're grinding 45 minutes a day for 11 years? Like what's the, is it just a,

00:23:48.380 is it a lifelong process? Yes. So wait a second. So I'm sorry, but I just, I have to know now,

00:23:53.740 does it work? Does it work? Okay. Well, there's the answer. No, no, I was going to see, this is

00:24:00.960 where you blame the user. I wasn't diligent enough. Okay. Cause I stopped giving a shit

00:24:04.700 about cellulite. However, I want to tell you about the controversy. Okay. Like, so a big thing is 0.98

00:24:10.660 like when you start to do the fascia, loosening it up. Okay. People get bruises and guess what

00:24:17.780 they're called healing bruises oh boy here we go okay because the blood is finally coming to a

00:24:23.420 place it hasn't been in a while okay so you get these little bruises okay all over your leg and

00:24:29.520 chris is like my boyfriend okay he's like he's like i don't know if that's good you know like

00:24:33.960 and it's like you know nothing chris you know yeah yeah okay but the thing is what it becomes

00:24:39.540 is like so then there's these people who are really anti okay and see it all as like a big

00:24:45.180 cult surrounding this tool oh my god and there's you know she doesn't know what she's talking about

00:24:50.140 and she's not doctor and then people are harming themselves because they're going too hard with

00:24:54.120 tool at home see and that's i was raised in the with the belief of like don't go too hard

00:24:59.740 no my parents would probably say the same thing you know um and i just i just like i'm like it's

00:25:05.460 fine it's fine it's fine but also like in some ways i can't be trusted with these tools because

00:25:09.340 i have that thing where when i start to feel like i have this i can't tell if it's a tendon

00:25:15.120 or a muscle in my inner thigh that hurts. And I just feel like if I just beat it down to nothing,

00:25:21.640 I won't have pain anymore. And like, I don't think that's true. Do you know what I mean?

00:25:25.560 I mean, I have to say that as we've been talking about muscles and stuff, I'm having pain in my

00:25:30.760 guess where? The hips, the top, like truly. I'm also realizing I need to get a good chair. I'm

00:25:37.320 sitting in a really punishing wood chair. I've been doing a lot of work sitting down today.

00:25:42.060 it's terrible well you know that's how you get the tight hip flexors okay and you can open that

00:25:47.260 up with a fascia blaster or we'll move on from manual tools into the next level which is where

00:25:52.220 we are today yes i shelled out 99 on a fascia blaster and have brought it into my life made

00:25:57.800 it velcro so i can reach for it at any moment and then it's passed away into barely any use

00:26:02.300 at my home at all however since poo has begun okay we get to graduate to the big boys and you

00:26:08.360 have a box sitting in your home and I hope you've charged it because we're going to be talking about

00:26:11.920 something special something I've dreamed of getting for years I've seen it in the Bloomingdale's

00:26:16.600 Christmas gift section okay and didn't spring for it but we begged we reached out and now we're the

00:26:23.680 proud owners of Theragun don't kill the messenger but it is ad time once again and when we get back

00:26:29.680 you shall be rewarded by the sounds of us testing out the Theragun

00:26:38.360 welcome back hope you enjoyed the ads not i don't care what you think you're trapped here in my 0.95

00:26:46.460 little podcast you have been a goddamn hero when it comes to reaching out to brands and saying we 0.59

00:26:52.020 want to try your thing okay and i said well there's one big baby i want to try it on and 0.97

00:27:00.700 us the theragun right and take a look at us now we got to have theraguns hold ears up i want to see

00:27:09.280 it why does yours a different color listen to her go don't use it on yourself yet okay why is mine

00:27:18.760 black and yours white well mine's the elite but i actually i think yours still might be even the

00:27:23.600 higher end model. Okay. I don't need you to baby me. I mean, I'm just going to. Oh, damn.

00:27:32.240 Whoa. I really need it. I'm standing up. Are you going to try it on your hips? 1.00

00:27:37.420 So here's what you need to know. Your back hurts, your lower back hurts. That might be due to,

00:27:44.340 from my Googlings, the front, the hip flexors. Okay. Honestly, I'm putting this in my ass or

00:27:51.160 not in my ass but i'm putting this in the meat on the like haunch is haunch a technical term yes 1.00

00:27:58.000 my haunches that's where i need work done is my haunches and women as wolves women as wolves the 0.99

00:28:06.120 haunches are relevant but i have heard that a lot of tension in the lower back and in the ass or 0.96

00:28:12.380 whatever using the technical terms here the hamstrings are to blame that if you loosen up

00:28:18.220 the hamstring oh see it damn now now have you pressed the button once twice or three times

00:28:23.980 because you'll see the numbers change oh right that was once or up go up or down 1750 i'm on

00:28:29.520 1750 now i'm on 2400 but how do you do that there's a you got to just it's intuitive buttoning

00:28:38.140 you got to find your way okay i'm very intuitive and i'm still struggling okay you pressed one

00:28:43.360 above or below the button there might be a tiny little little little dot signifying up and down

00:28:48.580 yeah okay i've never felt more dumb i'm pressing the button how do i get it to go different speeds

00:28:55.660 let me see it put it close to the camera so yeah there is a big push button and then above it

00:29:03.140 below it to the right and to the left is a tiny dot a tiny dot once it's on press on once

00:29:09.860 now press the up dot

00:29:12.480 do you see the up dot

00:29:14.620 it's working it's working 1.00

00:29:16.120 oh damn bitch 2100 here we go honey 1.00

00:29:18.680 oh whoa 1.00

00:29:19.740 I want you to notice what tool 0.68

00:29:21.680 what head I put on mine

00:29:23.640 do you see what one I went for

00:29:26.020 I'm not afraid

00:29:27.320 oh that looks really that's extreme

00:29:29.220 that's like a cone it's like a pointer

00:29:31.260 it's a pointer again it goes right in

00:29:33.180 now I want you to know

00:29:34.640 I had a session with a wonderful gal

00:29:36.900 over at Theragun HQ

00:29:38.220 you do you want to know the story of the guy who created the theragun no gonna die for it no

00:29:43.880 barely you're just the rudest person i'm so rude i'm here with this free product i don't want to

00:29:52.360 hear about how mitchell theragun took a loan from his grandpa he's a fabulous guy okay now i believe 0.79

00:30:02.080 if he was a chiropractor okay and gotten a heinous motorcycle accident oh no yeah he's in terrible

00:30:08.360 pain terrible terrible pain goes to the doctor doctor says you can get serious opioids okay

00:30:14.560 you can be on prescription pain blocking yeah or we can fuse your neck so that when you turn

00:30:20.580 everything turns with it okay like a robot without a robot without neck action okay now he says hang

00:30:29.000 on. Okay. Yeah. He says, I'm going to go home and I'm going to think about this. And he starts

00:30:33.420 going home and he starts researching and he starts creating a tool of his own. Okay. And the only

00:30:38.280 time he finds relief is once he uses this power drill plus an object in his garage. Okay. And

00:30:45.300 what he discovers is that while vibration did some stuff for him and the pounding massage did

00:30:52.120 something else for him the two combined was not available in a tool until he created it in his

00:31:00.020 garage okay and then it went okay and then he like he like bought like some some tech from

00:31:05.700 black and decker or something i'm sure i've got it wrong so rude they spent like they were

00:31:10.180 wonderful and they gave me all the information now i'm butchering it for you live but i don't

00:31:13.860 think that's kind of important you don't want to hear me read i mean none of this is going in the 0.81

00:31:18.600 at it that's so cruel i'm so sorry i'm kidding i'm sorry i really i i can be such a bitch but i

00:31:26.720 don't care no i shouldn't you shouldn't no i do care here's what i care about and here's where

00:31:31.560 the proof really is the product's working honey i'm getting it really does feel good as you know 0.98

00:31:36.720 i was experiencing pain in the ass or whatever the official term is and i'm going i'm blasting 0.98

00:31:43.040 my haunches 0.99

00:31:44.280 into oblivion.

00:31:46.840 And we're going up to...

00:31:49.160 Wait, I'm trying to turn it up higher

00:31:51.100 again. 1900, honey.

00:31:53.540 1900 megawatts

00:31:54.760 pulsing into my haunches. I'm at 24.

00:31:56.780 I'm at 24 with a cone-shaped device.

00:31:59.260 I'll join you in heaven. 0.99

00:32:01.320 Damn it, I turned it off again. 1.00

00:32:05.060 21. It goes up to 24? 0.99

00:32:07.960 Mine does.

00:32:09.340 Okay, well, here's the moment.

00:32:10.680 Mine does too.

00:32:12.160 i'm at 24 ow okay wow they say float it and then go deep and then go deep okay okay see i need

00:32:22.040 lessons there's two two um things you could do okay if you want to activate the parasympathetic

00:32:28.880 nervous system and go into profound relaxation do long slow and deep in the same spot okay or the

00:32:34.160 same small area for over a minute long slow and deep in any area yeah okay okay because that's

00:32:42.060 like the body eventually goes okay we got to go into healing okay it's like that kind of thing

00:32:45.060 if you want to get a quick pick me up and activation okay but not go into parasympathetic

00:32:52.440 meditative healing recovery and sleep okay this is where you need a little pick me up during the

00:32:56.300 day but you're feeling too intense quick okay under 30 seconds keep it under 30 seconds and

00:33:01.780 just sketch sketch sketch sketch sketch sketch all over well in the areas of your choosing they

00:33:09.000 have protocols on the app i'm doing my cap all the new devices really good have apps okay i have

00:33:15.020 to say that i love this thing okay and then i have to say something i when you said healing

00:33:21.000 parasynthetic healing i'm like oh am i gonna be like using this before bed to calm myself down

00:33:26.400 whoa the tension in the calves is reaching an all-time high ow ow wait wait i'll tell you one 1.00

00:33:33.280 honey don't take this to your pussy okay because i can already tell this would not end well well 0.99

00:33:39.460 i'll tell you what some have for sure all right now you want to see the next level want to see 1.00

00:33:44.240 courage ow the right inner thigh has pain i repeat the right inner thigh has pain are you looking 0.98

00:33:51.480 jacqueline is now using the theragun on her on her skull i'm terrified jaw on the jaw oh damn 0.92

00:33:59.700 I carry a lot of tension here. 0.90

00:34:02.960 Well, so do I.

00:34:03.820 I'm scared to use it on my jaw.

00:34:05.680 You float it in.

00:34:06.620 You float it in.

00:34:08.100 Float it in?

00:34:08.880 Okay, I really do want to try because my jaw is a huge issue for me.

00:34:12.160 I'm floating.

00:34:12.860 I'm scared.

00:34:13.260 I'm scared. 1.00

00:34:14.580 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:34:17.540 No, I'm too scared. 1.00

00:34:18.620 I can't do it.

00:34:19.100 I'm not ready.

00:34:20.100 It's too advanced.

00:34:21.060 I love it.

00:34:21.800 I feel good.

00:34:23.140 And also, in embarrassment of riches, they also sent us the travel Theragun,

00:34:26.840 which i have to say this really gets me hot and heavy because you can travel with it folks

00:34:34.140 i've got the baby

00:34:37.360 okay i have the baby one i'll just stay the baby one is really cute the baby one i'm actually

00:34:45.200 seeing myself at like a hotel me using this on myself after after i do a show after i entertain

00:34:52.500 people in maybe 2025 and we're able to return to to spaces like that but i could see myself

00:34:58.960 i thought about giving away the mini you know as a gift to a parent you know the the riches

00:35:03.760 overflow oh mom you know your migraines right and i thought i don't know i'm a touring act

00:35:08.700 no this is this is coming with me hold on this is coming with me and let me tell you the mini

00:35:13.240 it packs torque folks don't don't be fooled no of course i was deeply worried about the mini

00:35:21.820 okay the mini is really doing it for me too okay but the mini has real power now you still can't 0.98

00:35:26.660 take it to your vagina though i mean no one said that to me on the informational call kate but 1.00

00:35:31.060 well i i do think you gotta be careful i once heard a gynecologist said to this girl 0.99

00:35:36.300 but something like you only got one meaning what don't um over wipe i think it was don't over wipe

00:35:45.640 don't aggressively wipe oh it's about wiping or using vibrators well just it no

00:35:51.080 it was actually about wiping but it was just this concept of like the you only have one like like

00:35:56.840 take care of it i don't know i sure i resent i resent um calls to take care of one's body 0.99

00:36:03.580 generally okay well i'm loving the theragun mini i i don't see myself taking this to my vagina 0.91

00:36:10.780 yeah i think that would be a risk because it's powerful and like this would yeah no i don't think 0.99

00:36:18.220 i mean i don't i don't think you know i wouldn't encourage you to like you can like a back massager

00:36:23.700 a classic back massager one of the one of the most famed ones though whatever that one is that

00:36:29.840 they're always talking yeah the uh hitachi the hitachi wand yeah no but i have to say this thing

00:36:36.260 is not like a vibrator in disguise this is a hardcore muscle manipulator this would not feel

00:36:41.780 good although there's only one way to find out isn't there huh i'm certainly not because i don't

00:36:47.300 like to take any machinery what okay this is another episode all right okay okay but but

00:36:53.860 anyway sorry sorry the question is the question for me with the theragun is will it become a

00:36:59.120 daily part of my life or will it lay uncharged i think this thing i'm gonna use i feel good

00:37:07.120 after that and i feel like i'm i feel more relaxed truly the pain is actually it's still

00:37:13.500 kind of there but come on was the pain just gonna go away that's not what the theragun's

00:37:16.820 there for it i mean with a certain amount of daily use with a certain amount of daily use right this

00:37:20.900 is just i need to get a new chair that's the real issue here and you know with that i'll say if any

00:37:25.120 chair people are listening you have a chair company called sit down ma'am or whatever if

00:37:31.800 you have down ma'am take a seat ma'am right if you have a chair that will help me please send the

00:37:40.020 chair because i'm using a hard wood chair that is punishing my haunches and who knows what else

00:37:47.360 do you hear that yeah

00:37:52.080 what did you want it is an instrument is the point okay uh i'm gonna heal my voice

00:38:01.280 i hold a lot of tension in the throat when i try to really sing a big note

00:38:05.000 i vomit okay and that's tension all right uh wait what's the thing that you wanted to say

00:38:11.500 oh oh okay so the big thing they all said about the fascia blaster okay was yeah yeah yeah you 0.99

00:38:19.140 have no cellulite because your leg is swollen because you fucking beat it to shit and inflamed 0.99

00:38:23.120 beyond all recognition because if you punch someone in the leg you know so so we have to watch 1.00

00:38:29.200 out that we're not just getting the high that comes with injury oh right right you slap someone

00:38:38.480 across the face they're high you know you know like hey i want to see stars come to my clinic 0.99

00:38:45.680 you want to see god you get on your fucking haunches you know it won't turn on it might be 0.99

00:38:52.560 under charge okay that was the the theragun episode kate have you used it since the i have 1.00

00:39:10.080 i've dragged it across my long california legs and i've had fun with it i have as well

00:39:17.860 you know what's funny i want to say something that theragun has actually accomplished

00:39:22.880 it's the first true back massager because historically every back massager 0.56

00:39:26.320 you use to masturbate and this one you actually can't so i just want to take a minute to really

00:39:30.840 congratulate them on making the first back massager yeah they made the very first back 0.99

00:39:34.980 massager congrats theragun it is a violent beating of you while vibrating it's a vibration that is

00:39:41.660 blocked then by the beating aspect right no there there'd be no this this doesn't belong near 0.97

00:39:46.420 anyone's genitalia i mean unless you floated it very near no i don't you can't even float this

00:39:51.720 in fact i'm almost shocked they don't have any kind of a warning in the packaging 0.98

00:39:55.520 theragun uh uh legal might want to hear this you got a nightmare on your hands full you got a

00:40:01.320 nightmare because people will do anything to come yeah we're kind of trying to get in the shock

00:40:08.080 jock game you've heard what you've had to hear and now it's time to get on with your freaky day 1.00

00:40:14.640 you incontinent whore 1.00

00:40:17.120 and thus it is time to say goodbye pigs 1.00

00:40:24.180 bye little poog freaks 1.00

00:40:26.480 see you next week if you're invited 1.00

00:40:28.120 that's right it's an invite only podcast

00:40:30.360 see if you get the email

00:40:32.120 bye bye

00:40:33.200 see you next week unless you're too scared to tune in again

00:40:36.520 you're scared I guess 0.99

00:40:37.540 that was poog 0.99

00:40:42.360 if you enjoyed poog

00:40:43.900 Please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:40:46.520 If not, we will press charges.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - December 08, 2020

Muscles

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