Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - O'Doul's and Diet Coke

00:00:00.000 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse

00:00:07.120 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves

00:00:13.140 to seek but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time

00:00:17.820 i've been lost on instagram twice now due to me checking it and then seeing something you

00:00:25.320 send me and then going on a path right recording right okay great yesterday it was

00:00:29.560 yesterday it was oh well i actually want to do an on air i'm ready to learn oh my god look you're

00:00:35.820 finally doing it you're grabbing your sternocleidomastia okay so first of all not that i have

00:00:40.540 all the answers instagram oh god everyone knows this because i talk about this ad nauseum on the

00:00:45.440 pod i had like 50 days sobriety from instagram not looking once take a minute with that 50 days

00:00:50.380 i felt reconnected with nature poetry my own life um and i relapsed hard due to a red carpet i go

00:00:59.940 i gotta post a carousel that i got it yeah and now i'm just back like a whore i'm just back and 0.81

00:01:04.700 i'm given every damn spread first thing in the morning and the devil the other day i um didn't 0.90

00:01:12.680 take my phone out of the room when i got up and then forgot about my phone till 5 30 at night 0.98

00:01:18.480 did a bunch of work no stop but you forgot about your phone literally i go oh my god my phone has

00:01:23.460 never i didn't see my phone today my phone was in the bedroom like i woke up and was like you know

00:01:29.680 i'm not going to take my phone with me downstairs to get the coffee forgot about it till till it's

00:01:35.400 so cool and i was like well it's so sad it was a tough day facing uh when you forget the phone

00:01:41.220 and then you go back and it's like nothing's there so here's well exactly you don't have to

00:01:46.360 be on it you realize like well i go what could have happened an emergency they would have reached

00:01:50.020 out to someone they can get you so so then you sent me anastasia beauty fashion who i i love

00:01:55.020 okay she's famous on there of course but i well then because i last night go well something that

00:02:00.020 i've been doing where it's legs up on the wall i can't find the right wall to do this on it's hard

00:02:04.440 so what i do is you know oh no no it's hard so what i'm doing is on my bed on my bed basically

00:02:10.660 ass on my pillow yeah my head and then legs up there yeah and it's supposed to create relaxation

00:02:16.880 is against the window nerve oh yeah i can still rest my feet up there but yeah but i have to say

00:02:22.200 i'll go oh is this working is this nice and you know what i haven't told you that i've taken a

00:02:28.200 magnesium glycinate whatever glycinate yeah glycinate for relaxation it was from that brand

00:02:33.760 ritual that sent it to us okay it's working for well i don't know but i took it you mean the 0.97

00:02:39.600 cherry powder yes yeah okay took it i don't know 60 nights in a row non-stop every fucking night 0.78

00:02:46.100 and now i've i've run out it's incredible i've never gotten to the end of anything oh the other 0.88

00:02:51.460 thing i've gotten for it to the end is my my mocha uh well perfect aminos but point is and

00:02:56.600 immediately what do i do my night i go it's been great i go should i try a different brand yeah

00:03:00.720 and then i ran out of that so i ran over to moon brew i've been honey i'm on my third thing of

00:03:06.840 moon brew i'm paying i'm paying out of pocket when you do it right after dinner or later later

00:03:11.200 yeah good girl later it's not just it's not yeah it's not sorry so i i have a headache oh you do

00:03:19.140 yeah i woke up with a gentle migraine like this right and i was thinking on the way in here oh

00:03:23.540 the soft you know like proprioceptive whatever proprioceptive feedback feeling your own body

00:03:32.040 whatever i was thinking about the headache as as a there i am oh okay okay like i can feel feel

00:03:38.560 something no but i can i can feel my own it's weird like because it's a headache but when you

00:03:45.860 really look at it you go it's not that this this is not stabbing pain yeah but anyway as a doll

00:03:53.140 what'd you take advil what do you even take i went to take something forgot and still haven't

00:03:58.080 taken anything so i'm writing wrong i have some you do of course come on one meet with my purse

00:04:04.940 oh you know what actually happened my emergency pills second time i've been distracted with lust

00:04:10.020 for a power surge during these recording sessions i little look up they go nice usbc and two usba 0.57

00:04:16.400 ports on that thing dyke my emergency my emergency pills by the way middle of the night i was at

00:04:23.600 sundance film festival bill and i go i need to take a migraine pill i'm getting migraine i open 0.88

00:04:29.360 this in the middle of the night the pills go spilling out and i go i'll get those in the

00:04:32.360 morning forgot flight to los angeles i guess all that reminds me but by the way you know what i

00:04:37.280 have right here 30 pills pretty sure this is advil with no dye because by the way this is my new

00:04:43.040 thing you go to a drugstore ibuprofen this is like off-brand generic they're bright blue for 0.74

00:04:48.940 no fucking reason and i see when it goes dye like undyed i go yeah i don't need the dye why do what 0.84

00:04:55.340 i'm saying like this should be the standard you know i don't need it to be blue i was served a 0.98

00:04:59.160 maraschino cherry the other day popped in my mouth it can't be it was just a true bright red

00:05:04.320 can it be this that's real no dye no that's not what i'm saying you know like a the bad kind i

00:05:12.500 think i was served oh like the one that's like every everyone you get that takes like a year

00:05:15.880 off your life whatever but i want to look this up i'm almost positive worst case scenario it's

00:05:20.420 gas medication but i think it's those are advil sweetheart i've never seen anything look less

00:05:24.420 advilian what does it say on the thing clear and kate what's going on clear around they have like

00:05:29.940 a caught up in dust yeah no there's a lot of dust clear pill see what's it say on it what's the

00:05:35.180 number on it see if there is one there's got to be ready to be legal oh yeah oh ib5 that's a good

00:05:40.600 sign i'd be five honey i'm pretty sure it's advil i've never seen ibuprofen 200 milligram okay

00:05:46.720 you're safe your secret's safe so can you believe me just having the pills for moments like this

00:05:52.100 now that i can take if my some of my meds if they came in a gel cap not in a freaking 0.91

00:05:57.680 dry ass thing oh the horse pill well look at my migraine pill this is treximate my migraine pill 0.99

00:06:02.820 this pill fucking saved my life if i didn't have this same as immature i'd be fucking dead 0.99

00:06:05.820 it has it's like immatrix and something else yeah what would you do if you were me so guess what 0.99

00:06:09.920 everyone knows that i've been in a legal not a legal battle but an insurance battle with my

00:06:13.380 migraine medication my injection that i do once a month insurance used to cover it used to be five

00:06:17.480 dollars they go that'll be 900 900 so i haven't done it for months yeah new injection in town

00:06:22.620 no i know just arrived on my doorstep as we all know my well region comes from canada okay

00:06:26.680 this country speaking of speaking of so another thing i've done and i'm essentially on day 33 of

00:06:33.100 this got a pill thing i finally did this okay well i'm always experimenting with the pill remember i

00:06:37.540 had the pink thing that's good for being bring remember i brought it out once it's clear it

00:06:43.740 almost looks like a for pill distribution daily distribution pink top clear chambers okay but

00:06:48.440 but that doesn't help the did i just take this so then i got this like suitcase comes open and

00:06:54.200 there's individual one through 32 they give you a couple extra days okay okay individual container

00:07:00.660 with and you put the stickers on one oh no no no you pull it out okay morning and night okay

00:07:06.860 two sections or a sun and a moon right yeah chris and i said i got there's no way this i i go within

00:07:11.800 two seconds of trying to fill it i go this will never work this is unsustainable now chris you

00:07:15.680 mean just filling every month right he goes no we can sit here every month and we'll refill them

00:07:21.120 cute and he's like this is fun there you go there's a reframe we yeah

00:07:25.640 i know i'm like i can feel it you know what i mean but did you do it if you bring consciousness

00:07:34.360 to it and sat and did it so we did it now i've run out now it's a little bit chaos they're

00:07:38.760 everywhere yeah well i have well but anyway i'm pretty excited to even use the system once yeah

00:07:46.900 sorry so the other thing i just want to say so right now i know this headache right is based in

00:07:51.820 um i woke up like sleeping like um okay all night okay cranked okay and then and then you think you're

00:08:01.200 this and then you think about the dreams like i was having anxiety sweetie i'm the one who told

00:08:05.260 you about getting a king bed you'd never heard of a king until me okay in the tiny bedroom i'm i'm

00:08:10.920 the genius who points out small room big bed yeah that's fine and and today i i see a t-shirt i

00:08:18.220 bought a bed frame black friday sale november it's arriving today and georgia okay you know

00:08:25.180 i've resisted them as well as serena and lily oh yeah i get them okay we all do that's like 0.97

00:08:32.440 remember your tweet from 1963 but you know dr brawner and um and the other one they fuck or 0.97

00:08:39.200 whatever oh what was it it was brawner and the brags brags and brawner brags and brawner that 0.95

00:08:44.540 they bang i don't remember that lulu georgia serena and lily i'm itching i have the children

00:08:49.560 i have a medical condition you know it's still untreated no i'm in the portal emailing a

00:08:56.300 dermatologist see where am i by the way congrats on portal life because like once you're what i've

00:09:02.840 said again once your password is locked in and real it's not locked in it makes me do it every

00:09:08.260 time i'm jacqueline and i've said remember yes every time nothing is it nothing is worse

00:09:14.580 than when it remembers but it remembers wrong oh i know that's not it why are you holding it

00:09:20.820 it's the portal by the way you wouldn't believe how many subscriptions i know i talked about this

00:09:24.600 last week but i keep finding more and canceling but then i get upset because i go this is

00:09:30.720 interesting you ready to go i canceled another 9.99 a month right and then i start to do math

00:09:35.480 and then i'm like it's not adding up enough like i'm like too like oh now i'm getting thousands

00:09:42.020 back monthly now i know it is over the year but it's the same principle point is and then i was

00:09:46.460 thinking like oh god and then i see this thing i go what youtube charge okay i go what i don't

00:09:51.560 think i'm paying for premium i recall all i see is commercials right i go i sign in i go hunting

00:09:56.180 around settings account by the way another thing nearly impossible okay and i'm not some illiterate

00:10:01.800 of the of a user interface of course nearly impossible to find your subscription or your

00:10:06.440 account or you're paying oh what do they go to unsubscribe they're trying to trick you they go

00:10:10.720 you want to unsubscribe good luck and they bury it so i had to google how do i unsubscribe from

00:10:17.020 what was it it's not important but um i kind of want to know because i almost go i'm going to

00:10:21.860 reach out to them and go you are stealing this is elder abuse well yeah it is elder abuse and 0.82

00:10:26.820 they don't let you cancel and it's it's um what was the one that really fucked with me well then 0.96

00:10:32.520 they start offering you the deals they go are you sure 30 off i think once or twice they got me to 0.84

00:10:37.260 i go fine well it's really annoying because you're like i can't so this was here the whole time this

00:10:42.880 is why you know you have to negotiate like you have nothing to lose rocket money's like we'll

00:10:46.940 negotiate for you it's like what are you talking about well that was the one i went down on and

00:10:52.300 then now i've now i'm somehow maybe it'll work out for me but i'm i'm now on monarch okay i saw

00:11:00.980 advertisement i clicked through the way i'm like it's like remember my old days early days

00:11:07.560 instagram i was the one person who loved the ads okay i was like this is where you go shop

00:11:12.080 you love the ads now it's like that like on reddit they're like like have you i'm curious

00:11:16.820 do you get pushed motion a lot no what's that motion no what's that productivity okay i mean

00:11:23.100 it's like it's like your calendar like whatever it's a whole thing and and then there's like

00:11:27.460 these other ones like i saw all those motion ads and i was so irritated by them until i tried it

00:11:31.600 i'm like that's me oh wow and then like now i'm waiting for third wave of the of the ad campaign

00:11:36.220 where they go i saw the ones where the people act like they were annoyed by the thing and then they

00:11:40.240 got it and they love it i saw those i was annoyed by those and now yeah anyway point is you know

00:11:46.200 i bought a haizu off instagram well that i get and then i got fed haizu ads and i go huh and then

00:11:51.740 i go haizu reddit and i guess there's like fake haizu websites or something people are going

00:11:56.400 counterfeit haizu or some people going like haizu is a scam well haizu looks like the classic

00:12:03.680 mechanical 80s yeah which you know finally you get i never the vibrating always is sort of a

00:12:09.380 nothing to me yeah it hurts but haizu see but again i will abuse it so see how have you noticed

00:12:14.760 me doing this move okay so i have the headache and i know it's like even though i know it's from

00:12:19.800 i believe this and crunching some nerve and now now the whole everything is everywhere it feels

00:12:25.780 like all the muscles need to be warmed and stretched okay and pulled off of the pain and

00:12:30.640 so then this is where i make the mistakes again remember i went snip okay you want to cut your

00:12:35.240 own cut my own like tendons and muscles then okay so so i've been doing this i don't know if you

00:12:40.300 noticed okay i'm going it's too tight in here right it's not supposed to be that tight they

00:12:43.400 see the termine is in there you're supposed to be pressing him right so ready so i'm going right

00:12:47.140 now i'm going i'm just gonna hang off my own hang off my own clavicle that feels kind of good i

00:12:54.800 know so then i'm going so point this this because the whole thing is puffiness in your face

00:13:00.020 see what it feels like okay and put a little weight on it uh nothing platysma are you being

00:13:07.000 served the whole thing is that your face is puffy because it's not draining yeah it's not draining

00:13:12.960 everything's getting clogged here the neck when your neck is tight it pulls down your face that

00:13:18.600 i buy your face isn't sagging it's that your neck muscles are so tight they're going yes

00:13:22.440 Because we all remember a year ago when you said to me,

00:13:25.280 doesn't it seem like it would be good for the neck muscles to be tight?

00:13:27.620 Keep things tight.

00:13:28.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:29.120 No, it's the opposite. 1.00

00:13:29.900 Look how she learns.

00:13:30.540 I never let people forget their previous ignorance.

00:13:33.260 That's a joke. 0.79

00:13:33.840 But imagine what a hideous claw that would be.

00:13:35.460 Do you see your back on my chest?

00:13:36.800 No.

00:13:36.960 Be honest.

00:13:37.560 I see nothing.

00:13:38.180 There's like this, there's a texture thing going on.

00:13:40.300 See that?

00:13:40.560 Oh, oh.

00:13:41.120 Yeah, you see that?

00:13:41.800 Well, I do, but I go that.

00:13:43.280 It's just funny that someone would see that and think that's anything.

00:13:46.460 But look this.

00:13:47.040 That's what it should be.

00:13:48.020 For example, I see nothing.

00:13:48.740 So, oh, yeah.

00:13:49.420 Well, it's almost the same.

00:13:50.960 Hold on.

00:13:52.040 I want to see if my doctor's replied.

00:13:52.920 I'm sorry.

00:13:53.640 I know I'm really like soaring on the Celsius.

00:13:55.560 Okay.

00:13:55.660 But look.

00:13:56.740 I love when you say that.

00:13:57.300 I want you to try something.

00:13:58.240 Okay.

00:13:58.440 Okay.

00:13:59.100 Okay.

00:13:59.320 Rest the hand like there, but with skin so it sort of grabs.

00:14:04.080 Okay.

00:14:04.900 Okay.

00:14:05.400 Now feel the stretch in the platysma.

00:14:09.880 Try to feel it.

00:14:11.260 Are you pulling down a little bit with the hand on the skin?

00:14:13.380 Yeah.

00:14:14.200 Are you getting anything?

00:14:15.360 Keep going.

00:14:16.480 Do you feel the jaw?

00:14:17.900 Yeah.

00:14:18.040 your jaw respond with incredible tension and then try to relax it i feel something the point is 0.98

00:14:25.060 what do you do with a barista who seems to have a personal fucking grudge against you 0.96

00:14:30.220 and you haven't done shit i mean i'm hesitant to go public there's this barista that 0.99

00:14:35.680 my local coffee shop oh and i'm chatting friendly with everyone neighborhood spot everyone's 1.00

00:14:41.180 she fucking hates my ass i go what happened here i go i fuck your wife yeah why are you mad at me 1.00

00:14:49.640 sweetie it's almost made has made me almost laugh a couple times and i've seen her and i go maybe 1.00

00:14:55.620 that's her i've seen her face drop she's like yeah see you next week not an exaggeration oh can i

00:15:02.340 have this no thank you kate no no i know i almost have to come see that i think i want you to come

00:15:10.280 see it live no i wonder it's so crazy techniques i go in first i sit alone with sunglasses okay

00:15:17.340 i wait okay i watch you come in now here's here's three stages okay of observation of control

00:15:24.440 we'll actually come in you don't clock her you try not to clock her yet so in other words i'm

00:15:29.860 gonna watch you roll i would love this and then she's like oh she's coming in right i need you

00:15:37.020 i need someone i need someone to really observe this because i've almost because it's like it

00:15:42.040 can't be personal here's here's what i know not to be presumptuous i know like i wasn't rude it's 0.69

00:15:46.820 not like i fucking did something weird where i'm an asshole it's just so it has to be personal 0.96

00:15:51.880 but what could it be it's almost like she's performing how much she hates me 0.97

00:15:57.600 it hurts my feelings now what what could and by the way i go careful because if you catch you on

00:16:03.940 a bad day i'm gonna go what of course what is it sweetheart i go you want to fight let's fight

00:16:09.820 do you want to fight with me i don't understand i need to know face drops do you think and i do

00:16:16.620 i do the standard of course i'm saying hansa i think a couple times i've even tried like yeah 1.00

00:16:20.600 or something just a little yeah it's like she does this to me literally what do you want bitch 1.00

00:16:27.460 is what she's saying to me and then do you watch with others after and she's normal i saw i saw 1.00

00:16:32.360 like a i saw a guy like a normal guy like a man and i saw her say to him like yeah like they're

00:16:37.800 having a little chat like yeah and then literally i walk up watch the drop in such a way i go now

00:16:42.740 you're not a dummy okay but i still have to pose a possible question i want you to come see is

00:16:47.420 there some chance that she's so starstruck no okay then the only thing i love that read i love 1.00

00:16:54.080 that read is panic i love and become rude to lock something down she's so mean to me a little slut 1.00

00:17:00.900 like a little hustle grind I know lipstick on the celsius okay she's so like that it actually 1.00

00:17:07.180 blocks the possibility like maybe I need to try right ow oh my god look see look at this like

00:17:12.660 skin peeling something's wrong and no one cares my doctors I I need I need 9-11 I mean 9-11

00:17:18.300 I need to call okay anyway well I haven't picked up remember I went last year last week rosacea

00:17:24.420 whatever they put in the scripts I haven't even gone to pick them up aren't I wild they got me

00:17:29.760 like three scripts for my rosacea and i'm like i'm like oh yeah rosacea's everywhere okay but

00:17:36.140 wait wait i don't even be impressed i can't even say to her like she has such a thing going on that

00:17:42.000 i can't even really be like what's your name like i almost want to go i come in here a lot you know

00:17:47.480 i've never really introduced myself huh okay like it's like i don't know what how to break through

00:17:52.960 and i would go just ignore it's not about you i know it's not about me you know that's her she's

00:17:57.260 on her journey with me i'm stimming again i'm sorry i'm stimming i just want to ask a quick

00:18:01.240 question which is can you hear yes they can hear okay cute so they're gonna love that that's gonna

00:18:06.520 be a cute new thing on the podcast okay so here's what i'm thinking what about i need you to come

00:18:10.520 observe let me just think of let me just think of what could i do hi how are you and then but then 0.84

00:18:15.240 i sound like a fake bitch hi how are you today i don't need someone to there i understand you're 0.99

00:18:21.240 fucking you're at work you're like i don't need you i'm not expecting some you know what i mean 1.00

00:18:25.800 i'm just trying to think but but why would she so actively want you to see her disdain for you 0.99

00:18:31.940 which is what it sounds like right no that's what it sounds like so when someone is like that i've

00:18:35.320 seen her a little it's not like with everyone could she be confusing you with a public figure

00:18:39.440 who has like you know you know what's really ugly uh sentiments when i was in when i was in

00:18:44.620 where was i london i was in a certain area of london few people thought i was someone else

00:18:48.860 like i went to a restaurant they go we said we saw how you vote like we saw how you voted on

00:18:53.420 the latest i know whatever like they think you're like you know i'm saying like no i know well no

00:18:57.540 we don't like what you've done to our community and we're not afraid to say it's not me they think 0.62

00:19:02.740 you are i don't know what the fuck is going on but it actually today it really i kind of i was like 0.78

00:19:08.560 anyway i'm like please come observe no i'm so curious that i'm like i want to go right now 0.97

00:19:15.240 what's today we got to make sure that we're there when when she's in you know her days what day of

00:19:19.160 week is it lulu and georgia these are my kids lulu and georgia and serena and lulu and my fourth

00:19:25.740 my fifth son nordic knots yeah that's cute nordic nordica what about nordica nordica yeah um uh

00:19:38.040 wait wait so anyway that was hard today and i'm gonna get to the bottom of it i don't know how

00:19:43.020 and i think i have to go in there i was fantasizing i go do i have to fake a heart attack

00:19:46.720 I have to go in there

00:19:47.740 and have some kind of

00:19:48.260 medical thing 0.95

00:19:48.800 so she'll save you 0.99

00:19:49.040 so she'll save me

00:19:49.940 and then I'll go

00:19:50.840 now we're connected

00:19:52.540 interesting

00:19:53.600 you go victim

00:19:54.280 you sometimes go

00:19:55.040 go victim damsel

00:19:56.020 I think I have to go

00:19:56.520 hi can I get a

00:19:57.400 sorry

00:19:58.540 I don't think

00:19:59.040 that's gonna help you

00:19:59.800 oh boy

00:20:00.640 I need

00:20:04.480 I need to

00:20:06.200 no no

00:20:06.880 I don't think it's victim

00:20:07.700 so interesting

00:20:08.400 you think that'll

00:20:09.000 I go hey can I get a

00:20:09.980 oh you have an eyelash

00:20:11.160 make a wish

00:20:11.960 what can I do

00:20:14.280 to break it

00:20:14.800 let me play

00:20:15.600 let me play

00:20:16.020 let me play

00:20:16.040 let me stress

00:20:16.560 intuitively what happens okay okay okay hey how's it going wait who's that me no no i'm being you 0.97

00:20:22.380 you be the the barista okay okay well this is what she fucking does okay hi we don't know each other 0.99

00:20:30.500 right no bitch oh but she jumped a bitch i don't know okay i'm gonna do real i'm gonna do real okay 0.99

00:20:38.380 this is her she's doing something hi um sorry can i get a uh do we know each other you look so 1.00

00:20:48.500 familiar sorry work here no i know but i was like i i was like i thought i knew i sorry i was thinking

00:20:56.340 like for a second i was like do we actually know each other because i saw you and i was like i know

00:20:59.300 her not from here and i was like damn i've just been ordering for coffee for you for this long 0.97

00:21:03.620 and didn't realize you didn't grow up in the east coast no by the way this is good shit really 0.98

00:21:10.220 yeah all right let's try again maybe i'll break through it's what maybe that's how i'll break 0.97

00:21:14.760 through because people soften i'm not saying she's a bad person i'm going something's going on either 0.98

00:21:18.420 i fucked her wife there's either some crazy grudge that she has with me i don't have grudges 0.99

00:21:23.940 in this town my name is clean okay wait wait what my head is so bad what your head just the same 1.00

00:21:32.320 headache, but the laugh like knocked my brain. It really went wild with that. You need water.

00:21:38.060 You're only having Celsius. She's drinking Celsius and a coffee. Well, that's how I grew up. My dad

00:21:42.940 be like, I don't know why I'm so thirsty. I only had a duals and diet Coke. I mean, I said it

00:21:48.060 wrong. You know what I mean? I had two duals and three diet Cokes and a cup of coffee. I never drink

00:21:53.080 water. Your dad not drink? No, no. He'll, he'll drink, but like he's thirsty. Okay. So there was

00:22:00.000 a brief period where he was like i like the taste i actually he's like he's like he likes you gotta

00:22:05.940 get him hop water well yeah now it's a whole new thing so go back go back although he's he's he's

00:22:11.500 saying ag1 suddenly he's lost his taste for hops i tell you i went to i went to what airport was

00:22:16.920 that there's an ag1 kiosk and they're like chocolate ag1 i go that's not ag1 it was

00:22:22.940 that chocolate ag1 it's funny because remember we pitched you know we said savory we did well 0.91

00:22:29.120 i sure did we said cut the stevia oh i don't need you to sweeten that shit but we all remember 0.91

00:22:35.800 okay you know we left them age one i'll never forget i'll just say quickly jacqueline goes i 0.98

00:22:43.720 don't know about age one anymore we gotta look into the science whatever i go hey hey i support

00:22:46.860 you age one comes back they go we want to talk about this jacqueline novak secures a call with 0.97

00:22:52.240 the fucking i'm not kidding president of age one it's the president of the ceo i think it's the 0.95

00:22:56.500 CEO of AG1 he goes yeah do you want to get on Tuesday at three Jacqueline gets back she's like 0.99

00:23:01.920 I can't make it and then we never made the call and they're no longer a sponsor well I'll say it

00:23:09.440 once and I'll say it again you have 60 ingredients in a tiny spoon and all those ingredients are

00:23:14.300 things that clinically you have to have a freaking tablespoon of to have an effect no I know I don't

00:23:18.400 understand it either I don't it's not and then they're like and it's all inulin and I mean I

00:23:22.720 You know, someone else can look it up.

00:23:24.640 I've looked at it before.

00:23:25.560 But really quick, back to the barista.

00:23:26.980 I see what you're doing is interesting because you melt away.

00:23:28.800 I'm like, how could I not melt her away with that?

00:23:31.220 Well, let me try another one.

00:23:32.680 Do I know you from somewhere?

00:23:33.580 That's too weird.

00:23:34.420 No, I know.

00:23:35.180 And I wasn't thinking it through.

00:23:36.900 Could I do a fake name?

00:23:37.860 Is your name blah, blah, blah?

00:23:39.580 And she goes, no.

00:23:40.440 And I go, no, that's not good.

00:23:42.160 That's not good.

00:23:42.540 Let me see what pops out again.

00:23:44.400 Okay, okay.

00:23:44.700 Okay.

00:23:45.580 I'm going to come in with a different intention.

00:23:47.120 This is how people, okay, okay.

00:23:48.040 I'm going to come in with an intention that I don't know what I want to order and there's

00:23:50.800 the line i'm not sure how it's gonna fly but okay okay i'm her i'm her um okay i would love an iced 0.93

00:23:56.800 shit uh sorry um i want an uh hot do you have almond milk or no sorry sorry do you have soy 0.88

00:24:06.300 no let me guess almond cashew i'm just kidding we have almond that don't yeah yeah yeah okay 0.97

00:24:11.100 uh no one has soy anymore i don't expect anyone to have it um all right this is fake let me try

00:24:15.440 again that was really good acting actually oh thank you all right let me try again you can get

00:24:18.620 deep into it all right all right um hi um can i please get a uh iced uh double how many shots

00:24:33.440 come in a in a iced latte regular size and are they double shots a standard shot is a double

00:24:40.040 standard shot i know but you know what i mean i think i want to do like a quad okay two shots

00:24:44.380 double really i mean sorry it just like not six maybe like if i get a quad at starbucks

00:24:51.820 if you want four shots of espresso yeah we can make that happen all right just

00:24:57.820 sorry i'll have a nice uh espresso double it okay um flipping the ipad sorry guys

00:25:07.200 that was the worst i know that was really like that was one of my worst coffee orders i'm sorry

00:25:11.880 i'm flipping the cut the oh sorry sorry hold on uh what's your name oh it doesn't recognize me

00:25:18.220 okay jacqueline okay next sorry i really will be better next time right now i'm making it even 0.97

00:25:25.520 slower but that's okay okay sorry i'm starting to get mad i'm starting to get mad i get fucking 0.81

00:25:31.360 mad i get mad it brings up anger because i go i go again all right now i don't need you to roll 0.84

00:25:37.940 I don't need you to go, how are you, sweetheart?

00:25:40.740 Of course not.

00:25:41.180 God, I love your hair.

00:25:41.920 Of course not.

00:25:42.300 You need nothing.

00:25:43.260 I don't expect anything, but I don't even mind this.

00:25:46.160 Okay, I get you.

00:25:46.920 Okay, hey, hey, hey, hey, I get it. 0.99

00:25:49.040 We're all trying to get to the goddamn day. 0.99

00:25:50.600 But this? 1.00

00:25:51.700 What can I get you, bitch? 1.00

00:25:53.860 That's what I'm with. 1.00

00:25:56.900 I mean, I'm trying to think where that's happened for me.

00:26:00.140 By the way, what if this gets to her?

00:26:01.520 What if she's watching right now?

00:26:03.740 I bet she is.

00:26:04.960 Why do you hate me, sweetheart?

00:26:06.060 i come in i'm nice it's getting i don't need to be best friends when you tell me i would like a

00:26:11.040 little good morning you're telling me i go to the coffee shop for community i have a horrible idea 0.88

00:26:15.960 what what if you've you've shit on a barista on the podcast before i've never she made it herself 0.99

00:26:21.400 no we've talked like you know about bad barista experiences yeah well remember that that bastard 0.98

00:26:26.200 that man under the bridge in in brooklyn who was like who was like to me he was like he was like 0.89

00:26:31.780 you don't really want that that much it was a whole thing kind of you wanted caffeine he was

00:26:37.520 like that's too much coffee you're like i think i can take it yeah wow he probably had a big old

00:26:42.020 crush on you he didn't he didn't i but no i don't i don't remember i don't recall any barista

00:26:48.880 drama this is what breaks my heart is that the same coffee shop i'm exchanging 0.95

00:26:54.340 hair product rex with other baristas yeah having fun how the hell are you how's your wife 1.00

00:27:00.400 having fun in there where's your wife the one i didn't fuck yeah the one i didn't fuck 1.00

00:27:04.500 and her something about it and you've watched i'm going i'm going in my deep i'm going on my 0.99

00:27:09.820 deep history i go listen i'm not trying to say actually i want to take a minute with this is

00:27:15.000 this something it's really scary when you realize i have a face that i make like i'm expressive

00:27:20.940 right and i make and this is what we all do we make faces my friend was telling me a story

00:27:26.560 he thought this person hated him because of a glance that she did at a party at him and i said

00:27:32.820 there's no way you just caught like a moment and this is what happens in life it's terrifying

00:27:37.320 i know there are people that i've probably looked at yeah where i'm having some internal and i go

00:27:42.120 like this yeah and then they cross and then they think i'm doing that like right so we all have to

00:27:47.820 go through life of course we've got hey it's not about you it's not about you and that really is

00:27:50.740 the truth yeah of course so i'm like is is it possible that i because i'm looking at my history

00:27:55.720 going i don't fight with people i don't get in friendliness every time still to her you'd think

00:28:02.700 it would what happened one time i made it like i don't know i think i think she thinks you're 0.91

00:28:08.520 someone who did something fucked up i think so too i think there's a personal fucking i think 0.85

00:28:12.240 there's some there's some weird like it sounds it's weird drama and i'm not involved in it 0.97

00:28:18.160 because my record's clean check my books yeah okay i'm and all you have to do is check your 0.88

00:28:23.640 own books i've checked my books okay and by the way am i a fucking saint of course hey have we all 0.87

00:28:28.140 but but i haven't done anything i haven't checked again my name is this reminds me of when i 0.99

00:28:35.360 was treated cruelly at an antique shop okay when i went in there kissing motherfucking ass okay 0.99

00:28:42.280 i went in there tiptoeing around should i put my back foot down i would never want to strap 0.99

00:28:46.860 my backpack to knock into something and it was like the reaction was as though i was a dare i

00:28:53.460 say bull in a china shop okay yeah and it was really bizarre and acting like no this is why

00:28:58.440 sometimes sometimes something happens where oh well jacqueline well you know about complementary

00:29:03.820 schismogenesis okay what it's a term i learned in college okay linguistics social linguistics class

00:29:11.720 whatever two people doing a behavior again complementary okay schismo genesis genesis

00:29:21.000 okay sounds about right right okay so so so two people are doing a thing one person's doing a

00:29:28.280 thing to make the other person do a certain thing but that behavior is causing them to do the

00:29:31.720 opposite and it increases okay cool cool so like um so let's say you're being like really loud

00:29:36.900 yeah okay so like be loud from it i am i'm loud yeah you're trying to bring me down that makes

00:29:42.460 me louder yeah because you're like almost think like i have a friend like that who she speaks

00:29:46.420 very loudly actually it's been a while but she used to be no she's pounding the restaurant and 0.99

00:29:50.420 I would bring it down.

00:29:51.620 She'd go, what are you getting in a place like this?

00:29:53.220 I'd go, well, I really like to get the – I would try to bring her down.

00:29:56.540 It doesn't work. 0.88

00:29:58.320 Yeah, I think you actually have to highlight the loudness.

00:30:00.900 Maybe they'll recognize it in another, not themselves.

00:30:03.440 A lot of us can't see it in themselves.

00:30:04.900 That's really funny.

00:30:05.560 Because they go, I can barely hear you. 0.88

00:30:06.860 So should I go, I guess you're a Risa? 1.00

00:30:08.260 Hi, bitch. 1.00

00:30:10.760 Coffee time. 1.00

00:30:12.000 Yeah.

00:30:13.460 Okay, let's try that.

00:30:14.720 By the way, and this is what I'm not proud of,

00:30:17.080 a couple times she's been so mean to me that I kind of go,

00:30:20.420 back i go good girl i say i'm not being rude but i'm just going okay fine i'll give you nothing

00:30:25.680 too unless but i you've seen her do different things with different people i know could she

00:30:29.620 be stunned by your baby browns no there's no way oh but maybe that's why i should go do you have a

00:30:34.740 crush on me because you're pretty mean to me okay that would actually be kind of yeah anyway

00:30:40.780 why can't we be friends why can't we be friends wait wait i was gonna say something oh well have

00:30:47.520 have you done any

00:30:48.180 I'm surprised here

00:30:49.020 you haven't done any

00:30:49.880 just I'm gonna try 0.70

00:30:50.740 to make her laugh

00:30:51.340 I can't even get

00:30:52.060 my top hat app

00:30:52.860 because I'm so 0.96

00:30:53.520 fucking scared 0.87

00:30:54.220 yeah 0.98

00:30:54.540 that's amazing

00:30:55.800 I think

00:30:56.360 early on

00:30:57.400 early on

00:30:58.500 I tried to do

00:30:58.900 kind of

00:30:59.400 even what you did

00:31:00.180 can I get it

00:31:00.760 oh sorry

00:31:01.040 sorry sorry

00:31:01.420 sorry

00:31:01.580 I'm holding up the line

00:31:02.140 actually I wanna

00:31:02.620 I tried to do

00:31:03.520 a little of that

00:31:04.120 to go 1.00

00:31:04.560 and she's still

00:31:06.920 uh huh

00:31:07.900 but I wanna talk

00:31:09.200 quickly about

00:31:09.840 something

00:31:10.720 which is that 1.00

00:31:11.460 femme mask 1.00

00:31:12.340 there's something 0.96

00:31:13.780 about people

00:31:14.380 I saw it in that

00:31:15.480 last representation

00:31:16.420 there's a rage

00:31:17.220 thing i'm hesitant to even bring this up because i'm like well it compromised my safety there's a 0.63

00:31:22.320 man on my block who is literally crazy evil psycho grinch times a thousand okay no no we moved in 0.68

00:31:30.360 neighbor kind of warned us about him go yeah that guy in the truck like he's kind of crazy i go 0.99

00:31:34.620 okay well whatever he fucking screamed at me in the street for no no i'm not kidding we're 0.86

00:31:42.820 such a crazy thing moving my car like a non-issue like a non-issue tell me about where i was moving 1.00

00:31:47.680 and then he go you fucking bitch no no no screaming and i actually was so alarmed i go 0.99

00:31:53.520 wait i must be like hearing that like this can't be happening like it's like the radio or something 1.00

00:31:58.600 it was so crazy pulls away he can be heard screaming fucking bitch it was so fucking scary 0.99

00:32:04.940 i texted the neighbor i go i think i just had my first interaction with the crazy guy and she's 1.00

00:32:08.760 They're like, you had your first Jerry.

00:32:10.400 She was like, he's like MAGA. 0.98

00:32:11.800 Like, I mean, that's the fucking least of it. 1.00

00:32:13.460 But like, he's really crazy. 1.00

00:32:14.240 I go, oh yeah, I can tell he's crazy. 0.97

00:32:16.000 That's why I have to cut this.

00:32:16.820 What if he sees this?

00:32:17.460 What if he's at home?

00:32:18.060 Yeah.

00:32:19.020 Yeah.

00:32:19.660 Yeah.

00:32:19.860 He's going.

00:32:21.220 I know exactly.

00:32:23.660 And, but then it was so sad because he screamed at a woman.

00:32:27.120 Like we heard him outside screaming and the woman was like, you should be nicer to people.

00:32:31.360 Devastating.

00:32:31.760 I wanted to write that and go, it's not you, sweetheart.

00:32:33.420 He has severe, you know, issues.

00:32:36.540 so i'm just saying sometimes the rage really is that someone has like the rage just goes and it

00:32:42.140 hits whoever it is but with the barista it's me sweetheart this isn't someone who's like

00:32:46.660 deeply disturbed anyone who crosses their past they're gonna get it you didn't go on

00:32:50.320 six dates with this person and break their heart i didn't break her heart zini no i know maybe you

00:32:56.220 did just by existing by i go what have you heard bouncing that little uh okay mop into this store

00:33:03.280 Okay.

00:33:03.480 I know what you're like. 0.98

00:33:04.180 By the way, by the way, maybe she thinks I'm annoying. 0.69

00:33:06.580 That's fair. 1.00

00:33:07.240 Okay.

00:33:07.960 Maybe she thinks I'm annoying.

00:33:11.300 Okay.

00:33:12.260 Bouncing in.

00:33:12.880 I like my sunglasses.

00:33:13.340 You always got a little bounce.

00:33:16.000 Do an impression of me ordering coffee, what you think it is.

00:33:21.220 Hi.

00:33:22.540 That's a hard one.

00:33:23.420 Wait, wait.

00:33:24.180 Let me think.

00:33:25.320 Because, like, you're pretty, hi.

00:33:26.860 Like, you know, you're pretty high.

00:33:28.280 I go so high sometimes.

00:33:29.920 Oh, no, no, my worst one is.

00:33:31.280 No, no, no, I'm sure I'm talking about this, but it's like, I just think like every time, when I'm not heard by the waiter when I call for them, or something in me that's so embarrassed that every single time I go, I go, oh, excuse me, could I, oh.

00:33:42.900 Oh, yeah.

00:33:43.720 Every single time.

00:33:45.000 I said like, love you to a server recently.

00:33:47.780 I was like, sorry, sorry, I love you.

00:33:48.820 I was like, you said love you to our producer who you're meeting for the second time.

00:33:52.340 Oh, yeah, that's true.

00:33:52.660 As things were starting.

00:33:53.480 That was real.

00:33:57.780 Where does everyday comfort really begin?

00:33:59.820 Well, listeners know it begins with my Cozy Earth Comforter. Long before Cozy Earth became a

00:34:08.460 sponsor, I ordered my Mulberry Silk Comforter. It was one of my big purchases and one of my best

00:34:17.200 purchases. After I destroyed it via a mishap at a laundry depot, well, Cozy Earth came through

00:34:25.740 with their 10-year guarantee and delivered me a fresh one. This comforter is luscious. It is

00:34:34.160 worthwhile. And I've never been someone who thought I needed anything special in a blanket.

00:34:40.580 Every night when I get into it, I go, more things in my life should be like this.

00:34:45.620 I know a lot of hags have run for the mulberry comforter upon my recommendation and been

00:34:50.840 immensely satisfied. There's a dollop quality, dollops of comfort across you. It is a foundational

00:34:59.840 cozy earth essential. It is crafted with intention to support deeper rest. I'm talking about naturally

00:35:05.880 breathable temperature regulating materials, luxuriously soft comforters that help your

00:35:11.740 body settle cool, calm, gently supported throughout the night. Thoughtful construction creates a

00:35:17.560 cloud-like feel without heaviness or overheating, making it easier to unwind and wake feeling

00:35:23.440 restored. Comfort really is in the details because how you feel every day begins with how you sleep.

00:35:30.180 Next up on my wishlist, the essential socks. These are said to be a small grounding comfort

00:35:39.100 that carries you through your everyday life. Cozy Earth Essential Socks are soft, they're

00:35:43.980 breathable, thoughtfully cushioned to support you from your first step to your last.

00:35:49.640 Yeah, it comes in four versatile styles, calf, quarter, ankle, and no show. And each pair is

00:35:56.740 crafted with care to fit seamlessly into your routine. An everyday essential where quiet comfort

00:36:02.080 meets intentional design. I'm thinking that when I get a pair of these socks, well, they're going

00:36:08.060 to carry me from A to B. A, when I get out of my cozy earth comforter in the morning, to B,

00:36:14.200 when I get back in. I could be supported by cozy earth all day long. I can encourage you to get

00:36:20.760 into their sleep comforts, the comforters, etc., whatever calls to you as soon as possible. Why?

00:36:28.520 Well, there's a hundred night sleep trial. So you can try them for yourself. You can feel the

00:36:33.940 details, see the details. You can experience effortless comfort. Returns are easy, but I

00:36:40.800 highly suspect you won't be needing to return this. And as I mentioned, the 10-year warranty,

00:36:46.360 it worked for me. Now built with care and precision, this comfort is meant to endure.

00:36:52.420 And the 10-year warranty is how they show you they stand behind that. Discover how care in

00:36:58.100 every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to

00:37:03.620 CozyEarth.com and use our code HAGS for up to 20% off. That's code HAGS for up to 20% off.

00:37:11.780 And if you get a post-purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth

00:37:16.680 right here. Experience the craft behind the comfort and make every day feel intentional.

00:37:22.260 um explosive meal last night very hard to get into a restaurant shout out to herman's who the

00:37:32.660 hell did you go and guess what i was gonna shout out to holly viona the waitress who at the end

00:37:37.580 said the server rather i've heard waitress's derogatory term in this town now sue me i thought

00:37:42.840 it was a cute term but um server viona and i want to if she's watching or listening viona i owe an

00:37:48.400 apology i heard fiona i repeated back fiona my partner said i think it's viona check the receipt

00:37:54.420 it is viona i didn't have a time to correct myself i'm sure her whole life she's getting

00:37:58.140 fiona said and then to hear a living legend and i go viona i've never heard that that's a beautiful

00:38:02.480 name viona beautiful anyway incredible meal wait this is an interesting question all the f names

00:38:08.140 that could be v's red um francesca vran yeah ranny none of these are really doing it for

00:38:18.860 fiona viona villop oh villop is interesting viona though gorgeous name and what i just

00:38:26.900 want to say this sorry i'm doing it again i want to say what was the it feels so good well a couple

00:38:30.680 things at the restaurant now these come on new for everyone who comes in right yeah this is my

00:38:35.020 Yeah, you're grazing that with ancestors.

00:38:37.700 But I'll just say this quickly.

00:38:39.780 A lot of the food was great.

00:38:42.000 Best martini I've ever had. 0.99

00:38:43.380 Are you fucking serious? 0.99

00:38:44.720 And it was frozen. 0.99

00:38:46.000 I literally said to her, I go, you got to go to Kyoto to get this. 0.99

00:38:50.340 Fucking my every word. 0.99

00:38:51.940 Ice cold in a way. 1.00

00:38:52.720 I take a sip.

00:38:53.060 I go, whoa. 0.99

00:38:54.540 You're fucking serious? 0.99

00:38:55.120 I go, what's science? 0.99

00:38:57.000 How this cold?

00:38:57.860 You know what she tells me? 0.92

00:39:00.640 Imagine she goes, freeze the glass first.

00:39:02.360 Oh, no.

00:39:03.280 the martinis are pre-batched maybe this is supposed to know that but the point is i go

00:39:09.400 and that's professional is it because no no no no listen because someone goes oh i'm martini made 0.97

00:39:14.120 just for me yeah why i know i'm thinking about it because guess what perfect fucking ratio 0.82

00:39:20.740 unbelievable ratio you know vermouth like no i'm perfect ratio i'm i'm interested in the freezer 0.88

00:39:25.780 and if we were there in the freezer it's ice cold you're not getting it that cold in a shaker

00:39:29.380 you know but it's very interesting because it's an emotional response you'll go i want it made

00:39:34.960 just for me i don't know but they have a twist they have a dirty you okay the just for me is

00:39:39.040 a brilliant okay okay i uh i have a special thing about july because it's my birthday okay

00:39:43.900 okay the for me i don't think it's i mean for some of it i don't think it's about for me so

00:39:48.380 so much as the the idea that that the ingredients freshly hit each other in a certain way

00:39:53.260 that is that is alcohol here's the thing with something like that you go vermouth it was dirty

00:39:59.060 it was it was i'm not saying it's better and by the way i want to be very clear because i'm a

00:40:03.800 whatever if i was sitting there and viana was explaining this to me okay i'd be going now

00:40:07.920 that's how you do it you want everyone thinks all they want that you want she you know she kind of

00:40:12.680 said she kind of said it like it's a little bit like oh i could argue for it oh she said she said

00:40:16.540 it like believe it or not because i go oh wow because i go this is exceptional pre-batch i had

00:40:21.040 a fantasy exceptional i took two sips of martini i had a full fantasy i go i'm going to the bar i'm

00:40:25.780 saying something i'm going directly to the bar i'm gonna go who made this and then they go in

00:40:30.900 from the flat belly from tampa and it still is amazing flat belly in a plastic flat belly truck

00:40:37.220 you know like you always say like you know yeah yeah that's what i meant you're saying the martini

00:40:42.140 mix was in the flat bed yeah i'm saying the surprise that behind the thing there's little

00:40:46.860 bottles it was a canned martini it came from florida okay it was unfucking believable because

00:40:53.320 you chilled it the bartender by the way looking obscenely hot man we're saving money on mountain

00:40:59.460 valley and saratoga water okay right now you know because we're trying to cut back well yeah

00:41:05.900 i remember i got i got a case mine is mine is the mountain valley okay lover is mountain valley

00:41:12.760 how much is that 60 months 75 a month i don't know it's up there and then i have i like the

00:41:17.600 blue bottle right now and so we're using our aqua true and then we're refilling those it's

00:41:22.460 Glass-bottled, cold, aqua true in the fridge.

00:41:24.600 Lovely.

00:41:25.320 Nothing wrong with that.

00:41:26.240 Nothing wrong with it.

00:41:27.080 If you can, you know, keep the aqua true clean.

00:41:28.400 I have a pure water one.

00:41:29.260 I have an under-the-thing filter, under the sink.

00:41:33.200 Chris was questioning your claim that there's Gerolsteiner at Trader Joe's.

00:41:38.620 Really?

00:41:38.920 And he goes, maybe in that one.

00:41:40.760 Whoa, really?

00:41:41.300 I thought it was universal.

00:41:42.600 I don't know.

00:41:43.340 Well, get it.

00:41:43.940 We can get it fast.

00:41:44.860 It's pure medicine. 0.88

00:41:48.500 Oh, but you sent Anastasia. 0.59

00:41:52.460 right yeah to me was it a thing about this yeah i do want to know she kind of went like that's 0.99

00:41:58.740 advanced she's like you got to start slow she said like you shouldn't just start grabbing that

00:42:02.340 but i'm like three years in i know i'm saying you're advanced i'm not i mean a lot of people

00:42:06.900 can't grab it what do you do it i've never seen a difference from anything in my life except for 0.84

00:42:11.880 like two creams which creams bitch this is like breaking news this is huge i know i know one was 0.91

00:42:17.600 oh by the way Caglia I'll never forget I took Caglia to London oh my god except then you go 0.99

00:42:25.700 was it London water no no erase forehead lines I go what the fuck and then I had my whole thing 0.90

00:42:30.700 I had a whole pitch for them for my Caglia made me do it no yeah you imagine because like you're 0.93

00:42:35.560 feeling so gorgeous you're like my Caglia made me do it yeah whatever but then I heard later

00:42:39.860 it plateaus this isn't anything against Caglia just that kind of product you want to be circling

00:42:45.320 it in and out you don't use it it's like you're not using that every day you hit it and quit it

00:42:48.980 or something but there's a there's a term for this yeah qualia senolytic okay the thing that

00:42:53.040 clears out all the zombie cells okay you do it once a month two two doses what are you talking

00:42:57.300 about i've told you about this how we're weighed down by the zombie cells the dead ones the dead

00:43:01.400 copies okay and our muscles are just loading loading so you go qualia a nice brand i tried

00:43:07.000 by the way i tried to go to them get get free stuff for us they're like yeah we're not sure

00:43:11.240 that audience for us it's like it is it is the audience it literally needs to go to the caglia

00:43:16.520 instagram page right now tag poob podcast yeah and go poob podcast sent me here to us to be clear

00:43:23.020 they did and by the way i've been meaning to bring this up okay oh here we go 30 days have long 0.98

00:43:29.140 passed with sleep eight oh my god and by the way by the way bastards we posted a fucking medley 0.99

00:43:35.740 of all of our sleep, 8, 8, sleep, sleep, 8, sleep. 0.99

00:43:37.920 They've actually disrespected at this point. 1.00

00:43:39.640 And then a hag put together a little deck. 0.98

00:43:43.020 That got sent out? 1.00

00:43:43.860 That got sent straight to the people.

00:43:45.780 And they go, yeah, we'll keep this in mind.

00:43:47.420 We'll keep that in mind for, you know,

00:43:49.600 if any future partnership opportunities come up.

00:43:53.600 Excuse me?

00:43:55.300 So this is the last free marketing you're getting.

00:43:59.440 Everyone needs to go to 8, Sleep, tag poop podcast, brought me here.

00:44:03.420 What have you done for them?

00:44:04.700 Yeah, you take two beds to the hosts of POOG now. 0.80

00:44:08.840 Two King covers.

00:44:10.160 Also, people want to hear about us.

00:44:12.060 They want to hear about us experiencing it.

00:44:15.240 I just like, whatever.

00:44:16.360 I was watching it and I go, and I started to type in Sturm Caved, so will you or something.

00:44:21.820 But then I decided to back off.

00:44:24.180 By the way, you know what's cute?

00:44:25.080 This is community building and I want everyone to hear this because this is my new life.

00:44:28.680 And this is what happens when we say no to Amazon and we say yes to life.

00:44:33.540 Yes.

00:44:33.900 because listen to this

00:44:35.060 and I want you to hear this.

00:44:41.860 Wait.

00:44:43.980 Hello, this is Stories

00:44:45.580 calling about a book order.

00:44:47.800 Yes.

00:44:52.040 Hi, this message is for Kate.

00:44:54.120 This is Stories Books

00:44:55.160 calling to let you know

00:44:56.080 the two books you ordered,

00:44:57.240 Love Junkie and Lying Life of Adults

00:44:59.620 are here and ready for pickup.

00:45:01.420 We've got the books on hold

00:45:02.580 behind the register.

00:45:03.480 i mean couldn't you cry by the way me going that's nice i don't need to what am i going to do i go

00:45:08.060 into a bookstore i wonder if they're stalking how to leave in public i went in there on saturday

00:45:11.940 less than a week later the books are there wow well by the way to wait for something also earn

00:45:17.500 a book because here's the thing when you just aren't reading books earn a book you're in a book

00:45:21.800 reading a book is earning a book sure is earn a book i go those are my next books you would have

00:45:27.180 loved john read me the first it's the most recent uh ferrante book and like the opening paragraph

00:45:33.040 is like her discussing overhearing her father say she's ugly as like a child i go oh honey i'm in

00:45:39.180 and then she has this thing i'm i like want to find it and she's remember the thing we read a

00:45:44.520 little front on the cast wait what do you mean i think i've brought this before look coffee scene

00:45:50.500 copy of hermetica lost wisdom of the pharaohs let's see what we got here good read i've tried

00:45:55.800 to bring this in before oh look look want to see some marginalia by the way i'm gonna start dropping

00:45:59.740 in the um no show me instagram hag um oh wait can i actually read you the broadcast for dropping

00:46:07.720 links is live hermetica well can i please read you first yes okay okay okay book club two years

00:46:15.080 before leaving home my father said to my mother that i was very ugly the sentence was uttered

00:46:19.980 under his breath in the apartment that my parents newly married had bought in rio nalto at the top

00:46:25.540 of everything, the spaces of Naples, the blue light of a very cold February, those words remained

00:46:33.840 fixed. But I slipped away, and I'm still slipping away, within these lines that are intended to give

00:46:39.780 me a story, while in fact I am nothing, nothing of my own, nothing that has really begun or has

00:46:45.400 been brought to completion, only a tangled knot, and nobody, not even the one who at this moment

00:46:50.700 is writing knows if it contains the right thread for a story or is merely a snarled confusion of

00:46:56.260 suffering without redemption i know and i go yeah i'll be reading it a snarled confusion of suffering

00:47:09.460 without redemption i go without redemption it's called what are we doing are we writing are we

00:47:14.440 i know are we getting to it or are we not and my face going because it rocks

00:47:20.140 my beloved napoli remember one of the only places abroad i've spent any time i don't speak italian

00:47:29.280 that's why i had to kind of in a joking tone do that but yeah i have never been in naples

00:47:34.060 i've only driven through okay i saw a little um one of those what's that no this is this is in

00:47:42.900 the hermetica i'm not like i don't what's hermetica again where are you with marcus aurelius

00:47:48.520 well the stuff's good and uh but you know sometimes when people bring it back like

00:47:58.620 ryan holiday who i respect very much he um sort of oh it's just like daily stoic okay he's good

00:48:07.200 Like, he's actually pretty, like, I mean, he's good.

00:48:09.900 Like, he tries to live the Stoic stuff.

00:48:14.380 And he writes, he does these books.

00:48:16.440 Whatever.

00:48:16.760 Point is, it's good.

00:48:17.940 You know, don't let the modernization or the modern presentation turn you off, I say.

00:48:23.820 So go where you need to go.

00:48:24.860 Take the form you want to take.

00:48:26.080 What's that book?

00:48:27.160 So this is Discover the Secret Teachings at the Heart of Western Thought.

00:48:31.880 The figure of Hermes was venerated as a great and mythical teacher in the ancient world

00:48:36.060 Not to be confused with Hermes.

00:48:39.240 Finest minds of the Renaissance.

00:48:41.700 The writings attributed to his hand are a time capsule of Egyptian and Greek esoteric philosophy and have been influenced figures like Blake, Newton, Milton, Gelli, Shakespeare, Botticelli, Leonardo da Vinci, and Jung.

00:48:52.040 Here's the first truly accessible compendium.

00:48:54.340 Okay.

00:48:54.700 mystical uh philosophy attributed to the legendary sage god hermes try oh yeah this is always um this

00:49:02.360 is thrice greatest hermes okay trismegistris i'm not sure if that's how you say it the hermetica

00:49:08.740 is a fascinating introduction blah blah this isn't um this isn't the um greatest description i've ever

00:49:14.380 heard and i'll be bringing some other stuff in but doesn't matter point is you want to hear i just

00:49:17.880 like fragment okay when did i when did i draw on that with pencil and all i i see i'm not saying

00:49:22.580 anything other than this let's see what it was this living death okay i'm interested this living

00:49:28.180 death this conscious corpse this portable tomb this robber in the house the enemy that hates all

00:49:36.100 you love ignorance of the soul is impossible to be permanently happy while attached to a body a

00:49:41.980 man should train his soul in this life so that when he enters another world where he's able to

00:49:45.520 see at home he does not lose his way well that's that's i've been pushing this for years strain

00:49:50.480 the ghosts while you're here oh my god oh my god by the way reading like something

00:49:54.400 depth one going exactly what i've been saying that's what you've been saying for years

00:49:58.980 she's gone i need neck support and i need it now

00:50:04.800 i know you know but i used to love to do stuff like this right

00:50:10.380 where i used to love to frighten my friends okay with things like this like where it starts to look

00:50:15.580 not like uh to like be like be like be like wow what is that yeah yeah yeah that's actually pretty

00:50:22.640 good oh my god oh my god oh my god i've never done that i've never done that i've never done

00:50:37.360 that oh sorry it wasn't good yeah whoa that's the kind of stuff i did as a child that's good

00:50:44.740 I used to love in class to – I did a little shtick for the other children.

00:50:50.040 You have to.

00:50:50.500 I watch this and I go – and you pretend that you're in class quietly

00:50:53.260 and that you suddenly realize you're going to throw up.

00:50:55.480 Slowly you realize you're going to throw up and that you have to bolt in the classroom.

00:50:58.420 So this is a fun bit to do.

00:50:59.800 So you're like – you're like – a really slow build.

00:51:04.780 Take like minutes with it.

00:51:06.620 Really milk it.

00:51:07.460 Make the other students watch.

00:51:08.800 They know – I mean it would be like – it wasn't like I was pretending to do it.

00:51:12.240 i'd be like yeah here's a play called i'm about to throw up want to watch it god acting's fun

00:51:17.440 let's do a little acting before we leave okay we did a lot of acting today i know

00:51:21.340 but i got excited about it let's try a game in which you know it's really hard acting his father

00:51:27.140 yeah you're at the racetrack you're watching the horses your horse yeah you're watching your horse

00:51:33.280 you think he's about to win and he loses no no it's harder it's harder to act yay i'm so happy

00:51:39.200 oh one time horrible i got invited to this horrifying thing okay where it was like yeah

00:51:44.980 there's an opportunity um like a legendary casting agent who works at whatever oh that

00:51:51.180 she's having a small thing today where are you and a couple other clients and you're all gonna 0.99

00:51:55.580 go in she's gonna do a little workshop and you go into like an office building and go into like

00:51:59.780 this room and they're like great like two people i know in there okay and it's like

00:52:03.340 and the casting director like has apparently like um maybe they sent like like a little

00:52:11.580 sides before or something okay but you know it was like whatever show up and then she

00:52:16.000 so first like could have got mad at everyone who hadn't prepared and then it was like i chose these

00:52:21.520 based on like what i saw of you online kind of like you know this is new york yeah yeah 0.86

00:52:28.040 and then we all have to get up and fucking do it in front of the rest of the group 0.98

00:52:32.660 that's crazy okay guess what my fucking script was like okay and i had like a meltdown like 0.98

00:52:38.640 like basically in front of the whole room yeah i mean because my script was the little script it 0.99

00:52:43.840 was like you're like it's a boy no no it's worse it's worse it's worse it's like yes yes i will

00:52:49.940 marry you okay it was like oh my god like i've wanted this forever and like you know like it

00:52:55.520 was like yes yes a thousand times yes or something okay okay and I and I'm like I just don't like I

00:53:01.520 was like so what are we doing here like whatever that woman is if you're asking me to play that

00:53:06.880 like okay right yeah yeah yeah but like like why kind of you know what I mean like there's got to 0.85

00:53:15.160 be something like more like that's scary but I also struggle that like I also struggle with um

00:53:20.720 not believing that the simple could ever just be a thing like oh my god you know there's

00:53:25.400 that's really disturbing usually that's never it yeah like um yeah like like because even in life

00:53:31.820 even in life uh even in life what i'm sorry even in life like i remember my cousin when she was

00:53:40.660 tween and she was going out for commercial auditions okay and she was talking to me about

00:53:45.980 it and she was like well you know like it seems so cheesy like when you're describing a product

00:53:49.940 like you know like it does this and she's like but actually when you are telling a friend about a

00:53:53.920 product you kind of are like that you are yeah yeah totally you're like you're like I didn't

00:53:58.280 know my hair could be this soft like it wasn't until I started using suave yeah that I found

00:54:04.980 out the cheap stuff it's as good you know I mean that but like um well by the way that's me I'm

00:54:12.400 about to be because you know what I'm doing now with products yeah CeraVe Cetaphil I know I know

00:54:18.140 and I have an announcement is that I was looking up oh what do people do for I don't know rosacea

00:54:23.440 skin allergy, whatever I'm having. Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel. So I go deep onto Reddit,

00:54:30.940 people going, this is the shit. There's one that's fragrance-free. I go, well, I want that 0.99

00:54:34.580 one. I have sensitive skin. Because there's the one that's blue, right? It's sort of blue and

00:54:38.540 silver. Yeah. You know who told me about that eight years ago? Cola Scola. Well, by the way,

00:54:44.120 the sheet mask. They discontinued the water gel. The fragrance-free? It's really confusing. They

00:54:49.200 have water gel. They have water cream. It's all crazy. I go, should I just get the fragrance one?

00:54:52.580 the fragrance free one now is called water cream and i look at reddit people go they change the

00:54:57.180 formula of course if it's cream then it's not gel gel so i go do i just try the water gel with the 0.96

00:55:01.760 perfume sounds tough it's a strong i mean i don't think it's you know it's clearly not fucking

00:55:07.200 people up but honestly what you could do remember skin school let's let's let's revisit the gals 0.98

00:55:13.600 at skin school okay and see if they have um i bet they have some shit um oh i meant to tell you so 0.88

00:55:21.620 remember i tried on those um merrells and then but i didn't end up getting them because i decided

00:55:26.800 i wanted to no no the slippers i've been wearing but and a couple hags have purchased okay my

00:55:31.520 result the black no well those yes too um the canvas the shoes that i started wearing that

00:55:42.500 my mom was like yeah your dad wore the i was like yeah my dad and they like carried me through paris

00:55:46.420 or whatever yeah carried me through paris at top street my friend jeff okay we're out to dinner

00:55:52.280 okay he goes i've heard a couple mentions on the pod he goes you thinking about some marils you

00:55:57.880 know and i'm like sure am okay and liz is like well we wear marils and we've put our children

00:56:03.580 in marils so i don't know what else we you need to hear okay wow okay he says marils cured his

00:56:09.880 and roll and um foam rolling his his calves okay yeah but he said his podiatrist said well

00:56:16.920 are you wearing marils no stop and he's like no he's like honey like why would you even come to

00:56:23.880 me before you come to the marils shop like that's why not try drinking a glass of water before going 0.99

00:56:28.900 to the water doctor oh my god okay so i was like fuck i'll better be listening to this and he said 0.97

00:56:34.340 he's he said and he showed me the ones maybe they're the moabs or something the boot and 0.95

00:56:38.840 there's a waterproof one and there's another one and then i remember one of the most incredible

00:56:42.920 days in new york city where it was so fucking cold and so wet there'd been all this snow but

00:56:46.980 it was warming so it was turning into slush okay years ago out there walking you know in the 0.85

00:56:51.480 corners when there's the piles and then there's the big puddles i've led old women through those

00:56:55.580 piles okay yeah so once he he got soaked through his foot got soaked through and he was miserable

00:57:02.320 and he was under the belief that there was no way there would be any boots left in new york city

00:57:06.080 okay because there was boots were out went to a couple places upper west side okay on 72nd street 0.94

00:57:11.660 classic places out no boots okay you're fucked right and we're like and there's gonna be more 0.87

00:57:16.040 snow the whole thing i i always believe there's a way there's always someone willing to sell you 0.92

00:57:19.900 what you need yeah keep going keep going we we head up okay he's so upset his feet are soaked

00:57:25.600 through his he's freezing okay it's bad we find this like old school large shoe department store

00:57:32.060 type place we go and they're like we've got you this is bringing up a memory did you and i go

00:57:36.480 looking for a shoe oh no i did it in japan years ago continue i needed an emergency shoe

00:57:41.360 because that was so cold they're like and the shoe store in japan goes we don't carry shoe 0.97

00:57:45.620 sizes that big you fucking american ape get out of here so so so we're going there's no story here 0.95

00:57:54.820 but i refuse to say that anymore okay because there is right okay the story is this and they 0.99

00:58:00.860 go here try these merrells okay and they go and they're waterproof okay trauma and they go and

00:58:05.660 you know you're gonna want to get some socks okay because we're ice cold he slips his socks

00:58:10.660 and he slips his feet into the coziest socks you've ever seen he then puts the socked feet

00:58:16.380 into two merrell boots we head out his feet are toasty and warm and he's tromping through the

00:58:21.860 very same incredible snow and slush okay and his smile from safe and warm inside

00:58:30.380 those merrells i'm gonna remind you folks i'll never forget it i'll never forget it okay so i'm

00:58:36.220 going i said it i said to jeff and liz i go i'm doing it i'm getting merrells but which kind

00:58:40.240 okay obviously moab but which color now here's a huge question i go waterproof or not i go why

00:58:45.680 would anyone ever get not waterproof and he goes they can get a little hotter i go oh so as a

00:58:52.520 meryl expert it's the point is and i i she's writing down meryl just meryl i'd like to meet

00:58:59.820 meryl imagine if there was a sorry i know i'm really obsessed with this but our meryl a little

00:59:05.900 patch with our faces on it totally absolutely half waterproof half not one shoe is genius

00:59:12.460 because then one through one shoe you anchor in the puddle and bring the other one around and

00:59:17.880 off you go yeah yeah yeah that's good that's good and with that with that love ya love ya

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - February 24, 2026

O'Doul's and Diet Coke

Episode Stats

Transcript