Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - February 17, 2026


Silent, Internal, and Painful

Probably the Ugliest Woman O'Doul's and Diet Coke

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 5 minutes

Words per minute

188.42

Word count

12,259

Sentence count

482

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

138

sentences flagged

Hate speech

97

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse 0.59
00:00:07.200 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves to seek 0.99
00:00:13.700 but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time so why i can fuck the world for 72 0.97
00:00:21.920 hours that's my hyper fixation song right now i think i've heard it before yeah it's uh look 0.97
00:00:30.560 Well, you got your Oura ring.
00:00:31.600 This is huge.
00:00:32.060 Oh, yeah.
00:00:33.320 By the way, Palantir, we'll get into it later.
00:00:35.940 But you're not going to wear it anymore.
00:00:37.580 I know, I know.
00:00:38.500 Goodbye.
00:00:39.780 Well, by the way.
00:00:40.580 No more Amazon, no more Whole Foods. 0.99
00:00:43.080 Possibly no more Hag Shop.
00:00:44.040 I mean, seriously.
00:00:44.640 I know.
00:00:45.100 General Strike. 1.00
00:00:45.740 We're fucked. 1.00
00:00:46.500 All right. 1.00
00:00:46.900 We're, you know.
00:00:49.200 Today we're going to lull you into an escape.
00:00:52.100 I had an experience in a hotel this week.
00:00:55.220 Really?
00:00:55.560 And there was an experience of, and I've waited for this day to come.
00:00:59.780 housekeeper seeing me naked well we do you remember what happened to me no it happened to
00:01:04.600 me in um an expensive hotel because of course it does it doesn't it's totally irrelevant this was
00:01:10.620 an expensive hotel too and you know it's like whatever were you full frontal it was like kind
00:01:18.720 of here's what it was or getting out of the tub it wasn't even the shame at the nudity it was the
00:01:23.280 shock of i was being put up in a room sorry sorry and here comes it's about to get worse the room 0.94
00:01:28.560 was so big I couldn't hear her knock but it's true I was in like the shitting area because it was
00:01:33.660 like the thing of like oh yeah you know it's like the living room the kitchen is the bedroom and I
00:01:39.500 was staying alone in it so I really was like I just was like feeling really free yeah like
00:01:43.400 clothes scattered and I was in separate bathroom with a door but the point is I couldn't hear her
00:01:50.220 knocking and then yeah something unspeakable happened in the bathroom really well no no just
00:01:58.360 you use the toilet I did what bad people do the boy's room and then I glued to my phone because
00:02:05.320 I've relapsed on Instagram and I nakedly stumbled out on my phone look and looking down like this
00:02:11.400 and then what was strange was that she was silently she was there but she was like cleaning
00:02:17.120 what didn't make a sound so i was fully i was walking toward her without hearing her and she
00:02:21.820 didn't say anything so then it was almost it was like like what's that shape and it was almost what's
00:02:26.160 that shape it was like i was looking at her and it took me a second to register as a person so
00:02:29.780 like this can't be possible you're like i don't remember this art piece yeah i just couldn't and
00:02:34.480 so and then i i wouldn't say i screamed it's scary when a person is still when a person is still
00:02:40.220 terrifying yeah exactly so she was yeah she'd been yeah you know but like but instead it was
00:02:46.240 just like complete and so i didn't do a full screen but i was like and then i you know grabbed
00:02:50.680 my robe the whole thing and i was like sorry sorry i didn't she's like i was knocking i didn't hear 0.95
00:02:54.180 you knock i was like the room's too big the room's too big you know oh yeah i'm the asshole in the
00:02:58.120 big room and then um and then she was like i could like i could just clean over here and i was like 0.97
00:03:03.000 but then i was like get out no of course not but i just was like no it's fine and
00:03:08.060 you know left a big tip sorry you got hey you got to see a little something a little something
00:03:13.980 I think part of the embarrassment is, like, there's something about nudity with the phone, right?
00:03:19.160 Yeah.
00:03:19.520 Unless you're, like, taking a nude. 0.58
00:03:21.100 Yeah. 0.70
00:03:21.440 Like, because I feel like the posture when you're using a phone or scrolling is probably, like, hideous.
00:03:27.200 Yeah. 0.52
00:03:27.760 Because you're, like, naked.
00:03:30.480 Yeah.
00:03:30.680 Like, you're just, like, you're, like.
00:03:31.880 Distended stomach.
00:03:32.920 You're just, like.
00:03:33.740 Yeah.
00:03:34.360 Yeah.
00:03:35.960 And so I feel like there's a little bit of that.
00:03:37.900 And then.
00:03:39.220 Well, because then as soon as she left, I was, like, was I talking to myself?
00:03:43.320 Probably.
00:03:43.980 was I or like I think that when I'm alone yeah like just like I think I do that but then I was
00:03:52.360 like I could have been singing I could have been monologuing I could have been doing a
00:03:56.500 you know full-throated confession I don't think so but maybe I was I was gonna say there was
00:04:01.520 something I was gonna say um oh surprise one of the hardest things to act being surprised right
00:04:08.220 yeah and you were so when oh by the woman right so the question is because i always struggled in
00:04:15.040 acting class like in high school hair in my nose or something no something's tickling
00:04:18.980 no it's fine keep going um i aged like 10 years and four days well like the rosacea all my all
00:04:27.620 my devices are like you're five you know three years older than your biological so that's what's
00:04:31.760 so funny so that's negligible like that's what's so funny to me three years like where was this oh
00:04:36.520 I was trying to tell myself I go okay how old that like like it's three years yeah but it's
00:04:43.300 more like no no here's the thing okay it's what it was devastating is it it's not really saying
00:04:48.020 like you're whatever it's it's saying your pace of aging okay they're like the way you're treating
00:04:53.820 yourself they're like you're at 1.5 so year passes so you're what you're aging at a 1.5 rate versus
00:04:59.800 one to one okay no yeah i don't buy it no i mean when you're when you are non-stop you know
00:05:07.500 i mean my stress i know at night while asleep oh i know high stress elevated hello yeah and then
00:05:17.800 by the way you off your recommendation slash prescription i started listening to carolyn
00:05:23.720 mace yes entering the castle i was on a plane i was on a fake plane when someone submits
00:05:28.960 to your wreck and something that like you reminded me loved so i was on a given i was on a fake delta 0.86
00:05:35.840 where it was like and by the way delta bitch you know delta is part of like ice strike and i go 0.68
00:05:40.340 great well guess what go i go hey i know pug air which what is that jet blue the work that i've 0.91
00:05:46.680 done with delta the miles that i've put in the loyalty that i've given the feeling of safety 1.00
00:05:50.940 that i felt with them i go bitch i'll turn my back on you so fast you have no also imagine 0.99
00:05:55.300 I mean, well, the work I did at the end of the year to get platinum for this year. 0.99
00:05:59.960 Oh, she's platinum.
00:06:00.800 Okay, platinum in January for tour. 0.99
00:06:03.940 Okay, at the end of the year, I was wildly strategizing to ensure, okay, to get my fucking MQMs. 0.98
00:06:10.800 I'll go to United, I'll go to America, and I'll go somewhere else, sweetheart. 0.99
00:06:14.900 Well, I also, I had another, you know, plane dream where I watched one falling sort of ass down.
00:06:21.280 It didn't do a nosedive, well, it started to, and then it went like that.
00:06:24.620 almost more upsetting yeah because it's not what you expect and i'm watching it all happen and
00:06:29.800 woke up vowing like you know i was talking about with chris for a while with morning coffee
00:06:37.260 staring outside going maybe it's trains and it's only trains for me okay i like i know someone like
00:06:44.320 that because i don't just does trains and boats are you serious she's italian though so she's can
00:06:48.940 get away with it she's like mo i can't do it yeah but she's just doing she's like a charming 0.98
00:06:54.480 gorgeous italian woman because i and i was imagining defending it like just being like
00:06:58.700 it's not natural well it's not it's not well by the way so we're talking about radiation and
00:07:03.900 what's the thing about radiation from the plane you hear this they're like no oh yeah oh you get 0.96
00:07:07.880 radiated every time blitzed every time because i because i i want goddamn fucking um not patreon 0.97
00:07:15.940 um what's the body scan oh prenuvo prenuvo i want the courage that way they raise the prices 0.99
00:07:23.060 Because it used to be you could get your torso and your brain scanned for like one grand.
00:07:28.640 They're like, it's a band.
00:07:29.800 It was like $9.99. 1.00
00:07:31.900 Now for your goddamn torso and head. 1.00
00:07:34.620 They kicked it up to like $2,400. 1.00
00:07:36.460 This is just like the cryo where, you know, you can freeze your head for less than the whole body.
00:07:40.840 Because if they're bringing us back, I'm not going to need my body.
00:07:43.300 They're going to put my head on a bionic.
00:07:44.860 Everyone does these, like my theory about, you know, the bunkers. 0.66
00:07:49.840 every single thing ready to shoot
00:07:52.540 every neighbor. Right, right, right. 1.00
00:07:54.160 Then they're like, food supply, three to six months
00:07:56.420 or whatever. Yeah, yeah.
00:07:58.040 No, the real ones are like, yeah. I mean, I know
00:08:00.360 they're longer. I'm not bunker. I'm not going
00:08:02.400 in the bunker. I'll die in the street. Yeah.
00:08:04.040 Yeah, die in the street with the people. 1.00
00:08:06.160 Maybe get a gun if only to shoot myself. 1.00
00:08:08.340 Well, we've said it. Truly. 1.00
00:08:10.140 It's something to consider. No, I'm, I, before they take you.
00:08:12.460 Right. Well, that's where you go.
00:08:14.380 Cyanide pill, right? Poison.
00:08:16.440 I mean, it's quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:18.400 Am I wrong? 0.96
00:08:18.900 I mean, the Russians have been doing this for years, right? 0.99
00:08:21.560 Yeah, of course. 0.90
00:08:22.280 Totally.
00:08:23.560 Loving to show ponies.
00:08:25.000 Yeah.
00:08:26.480 Yeah.
00:08:27.140 Gone.
00:08:28.320 But wait. 1.00
00:08:29.140 Surprised by the woman. 0.88
00:08:30.940 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:08:31.400 Okay.
00:08:32.020 Bring me back to surprise if I forget.
00:08:33.920 We can go back right now.
00:08:34.760 Surprised by the housekeeper.
00:08:35.200 No, because there was a second thing.
00:08:36.340 This is what always happens to me.
00:08:37.920 What you were just saying about.
00:08:39.400 Pre-Nuvo.
00:08:40.060 Oh, planes.
00:08:40.860 Oh, planes.
00:08:41.120 So what's radiating you?
00:08:42.900 I was talking about pre-Nuvo.
00:08:44.620 I want to get pre-Nuvo once a month.
00:08:46.580 I want to get, or once a year.
00:08:47.660 I want to get pre-nouveau MRI.
00:08:49.900 And then my friend was like, oh, but the radiation.
00:08:52.400 And I go, pretty sure you get more radiation from an airplane flight than you do from an MRI. 0.90
00:08:57.480 I'm pretty fucking sure. 0.95
00:08:59.680 So, yeah. 0.90
00:09:00.260 Well, they'll just certainly hit that if true. 1.00
00:09:02.840 They'll tell you you're fucking dead to me. 0.99
00:09:04.900 I mean, they even resist like the x-ray at the, like when I got bombed. 0.99
00:09:09.600 Remember when I got bombed?
00:09:11.100 When?
00:09:11.900 Hit.
00:09:12.180 By the tree.
00:09:13.360 Oh, of course.
00:09:14.060 And they were like.
00:09:15.080 Jack was bonked on a walk by a tree by a mall.
00:09:17.660 And considered suing them all.
00:09:19.020 By the way, I go past where they finally shaved it down.
00:09:21.680 And there was like, you know, other people's hair hanging from the –
00:09:25.560 I saw this piece of hair that was not mine hanging from the same limb
00:09:29.060 and eventually got taken down outside the grove.
00:09:31.120 There was another thing that almost killed me outside the grove.
00:09:33.540 Did I hide the grove?
00:09:34.400 Yeah, what was it?
00:09:35.040 There were worse ways.
00:09:35.840 Yeah.
00:09:37.240 Just – there's a hedge that needs to be trimmed back.
00:09:40.200 When you walk there daily, you know, you get hit to these things.
00:09:45.160 But how did you act when the lady –
00:09:47.280 My question is, so I'm sure I brought this up, but acting class, I always felt embarrassed.
00:09:52.640 Okay, that's right.
00:09:53.500 So it's actually, see, this is genius, okay?
00:09:55.340 It's not, it's not.
00:09:55.860 That's genius, right?
00:09:57.100 It's not what you acted, right?
00:09:58.860 Was the almost immediate calm down.
00:10:03.040 The surprise was silent, internal, and painful, okay?
00:10:06.660 It's actually, I think, you know, it's like, you're not crying, you're not trying not to cry, or whatever, right?
00:10:12.560 Yeah, right, right, right.
00:10:13.340 It isn't sort of the same thing, the, like, but do it again.
00:10:16.040 i think i went oh whoa that was good i thought yeah it's like the the gasp is yeah okay but
00:10:23.540 but don't you sometimes gasp after you know it's safe like no it's the relief this isn't a danger
00:10:29.080 yeah like i'm scared but this is not dangerous there's no danger here
00:10:32.300 i don't want to talk about leonardo dicabria for long because we did it before i do it a lot and
00:10:37.960 i really i also don't want to be one of these talk about celeb casts of course can you imagine
00:10:42.320 Okay, so apologies to all.
00:10:44.260 I do just want to say there was a clip going around, right, of him at the Golden Globes talking.
00:10:49.680 Haven't seen it.
00:10:50.680 What?
00:10:51.200 Oh, right.
00:10:51.660 You've been off, but you're back.
00:10:52.540 It's just a little clip of him at his table doing essentially like a little micro impression.
00:10:58.980 Whatever.
00:10:59.400 Point is.
00:10:59.920 Of who?
00:11:00.820 I believe he's talking to the star of his movie.
00:11:06.000 Okay.
00:11:07.120 Chase Infinity? 0.98
00:11:08.160 No, the woman. 0.96
00:11:10.340 Oh, my God. 1.00
00:11:10.800 I can't.
00:11:11.920 I'm like, Titanic, Kate Winslet?
00:11:14.620 No.
00:11:16.060 Tiana Taylor.
00:11:16.720 All right.
00:11:17.100 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:17.380 Yeah.
00:11:18.200 I think it's that he's talking to her.
00:11:20.080 The video went around before you knew who he was talking to, okay?
00:11:22.560 Right.
00:11:22.680 And then someone did a mouth read on it, right?
00:11:24.760 Okay.
00:11:25.320 And it's him being like, it was so funny before you were like this, and you were like, da-da-da-da-da.
00:11:29.780 It was so funny.
00:11:30.520 Okay, basically, right?
00:11:31.240 Okay.
00:11:31.560 But he has the impression in the middle.
00:11:32.520 I'm not, like, going to try to do it.
00:11:34.120 The point is, in, like, a five-second, like, micro-impression, right, like, of just, like,
00:11:40.040 like you would say to a friend and you were like i don't even know it was so pristine and fast okay
00:11:46.180 that i saw his genius in the impression yes more than i see it in film because i'm used to
00:11:53.680 i'm used to him just right right right i was like it was okay it was i got it was so quick
00:12:02.100 yeah yeah i gotta see that and it was like you know like i'll talk about with our friend john
00:12:07.000 early okay the speed of like the micro impression yeah it's so fast that they're not mimicking and
00:12:12.740 you can't be mimicking they're becoming they're becoming and then and then the the gestures are
00:12:17.440 the overflow of of the internal force right they're not mac like right right it's too fast
00:12:23.660 it's coming through and the other things yeah uh it was i just it's sort of like you know i know i
00:12:30.040 feel like i bring it up every six months but like the game of um listening to like a like a song
00:12:36.560 Whitney Houston or something okay I'm pretending she's just come out on American Idol oh imagining
00:12:44.540 what it would be like okay we're just a random yeah girl yeah yeah yeah yeah totally different
00:12:54.320 Mariah Carey these voices okay that you're used to yeah we're like when you're you know oh oh my
00:13:01.740 god god i love this love you you need a new accountant okay this is a huge topic on the
00:13:11.900 podcast i don't want you to think i'm some chill for those people need to tell robbie hoffman
00:13:15.860 no no no no i okay i actually i got a cold call kate kate needs a strong line in her head okay
00:13:26.200 so kate has locked in on remember she got calmed by me going adding up her thing and going that's
00:13:31.640 not much worse than what i spent on my five percenter see what i'm saying five percent of
00:13:35.840 a business manager she goes so i'm basically a business manager it's like a business manager
00:13:39.480 it's like a business robbie they're just like a business okay so then she takes that thing that
00:13:43.120 she's locked in on and goes to you and then it's as if i have said kate berlant you got a deal
00:13:48.460 yeah and i just want to be on the record no robbie has been so the love i feel i told you the love
00:13:53.720 and care i feel from from robbie around this and i texted robbie something again just recently i
00:13:58.200 forgot what it was oh no robbie i texted you and then you were like what's going on with your
00:14:01.820 accountant and then you call you called me which i loved i couldn't pick it up because i was with
00:14:06.120 people but i was like this this is care yeah okay i care for you and i want you to have as much money 0.93
00:14:12.260 i know no this is sick and i'm getting fucked they have me bent over i know robbie they're 0.96
00:14:19.140 taking everything what do you do with the stock market you pulling it all out no of course not 0.99
00:14:23.960 don't do that okay okay we'll talk later long term exactly 10 years okay that was amazing
00:14:30.160 because we've never had a guest on the show but well i was wondering when they were saying that
00:14:34.880 robbie was was i was like oh imagine if it was spontaneous first get well we did have a pilot
00:14:40.660 on a live hmm the only guest on poog was the pilot in philly of the pilot yes of course um
00:14:48.800 what's i saying wait wait take me back because it was like oh micro expressions
00:14:53.880 i was like i'm like hot as hell i'm like i'm feeling like football coach by the way i was
00:15:01.000 exclusively because i was i'm sorry i'm sorry that sundance we're not going to get into us
00:15:04.880 at sundance okay but it was immediate uncle fester of like i couldn't decide i was like
00:15:08.900 do i do puffer like just be gross in the puffer or do i try to be sexual with like a wool coat
00:15:15.960 and layers of course and i went and i was cold i imagine right yes but here's what ended up
00:15:21.040 happening it actually was hot lights and i wish i had the puffer but i ended up not needing it and
00:15:26.020 then cut to was like you know i get two cocktails outside no coat which is actually crazy i was in
00:15:32.040 like a i was in to be fair i was in tights and i was in a very thick coat dress thing yeah and i
00:15:39.720 was right by a raging outdoor fire i was out there going that's when you warm up with a cigarette
00:15:44.200 okay you got a little one day on the inside sight of it alone you know what i'm looking at you we
00:15:49.140 know i had a cigarette recently where and it was photographed and revealed no yes what do you mean
00:15:55.380 i i thought you saw no it was me it was at that party paparazzi no
00:15:59.800 if we don't it sounds weird so we don't have to keep it in but literally hannah
00:16:05.040 posted on instagram he's smoking a cigarette that's amazing that's gorgeous i don't know i
00:16:10.060 It didn't look, it wasn't, it didn't look, it wasn't what you dream of.
00:16:16.200 Like, cause I was like, I was making like a, like, I guess in some way maybe like disavows
00:16:21.020 the cigarettes.
00:16:21.700 So that's good.
00:16:22.080 I'd love to get you so drunk or smoking cigarettes.
00:16:23.740 Sorry, I just got distracted.
00:16:24.080 I thought I saw drywall.
00:16:26.200 Okay.
00:16:26.840 And I just, you know how taken I am with drywall these days.
00:16:29.300 I'm like, how cool it is.
00:16:30.820 And I kept a piece from, a small piece cause I thought I might be able to use it.
00:16:35.340 Wait, Jacqueline, you know what you haven't shown on the pod is, um.
00:16:38.740 did we did you show the childhood your little childhood drawing of the no it's set it up and
00:16:45.360 then we'll show him in somehow little Jacqueline oh so I did um there was a colonial god sometimes
00:16:54.700 you could just sob for education in a good way okay like a teacher so in fourth grade there was
00:16:59.760 this program where we it was like this colonialism beautiful program about um no but but you know
00:17:07.020 The good part, I guess, was learning about bakers, cabinet makers.
00:17:14.840 I'm trying to think what else there was.
00:17:16.880 What more do you need?
00:17:17.960 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:18.880 What else could there have been in the colonial village?
00:17:21.080 Someone laying railroad?
00:17:22.760 Because there were like, definitely like.
00:17:24.780 Surgeon.
00:17:25.260 Oh, a candle maker.
00:17:26.780 Okay, there were candle makers.
00:17:28.400 By the way, that was a huge.
00:17:30.160 Imagine.
00:17:31.460 This is when they didn't have electricity?
00:17:32.900 Wait, what?
00:17:33.400 What was the huge thing?
00:17:34.360 Candles.
00:17:34.740 Just the candle industry when there's no electricity.
00:17:37.020 Oh, well, Kate.
00:17:37.920 Imagine that.
00:17:38.580 No, no, no.
00:17:39.140 Kate, Kate.
00:17:39.700 It's everything.
00:17:40.480 They're like, ah.
00:17:41.540 Well, no.
00:17:43.020 And then think about when gas lamps.
00:17:44.640 And then the gas lamp district.
00:17:46.000 Imagine the candle guys when gas light. 1.00
00:17:47.340 They're like, well, fucked. 1.00
00:17:48.420 No, no. 1.00
00:17:48.880 Kate.
00:17:49.040 They literally.
00:17:49.780 OK, so get ready.
00:17:50.780 Sire Trudon. 0.99
00:17:51.680 Sire Trudon.
00:17:52.760 What's that?
00:17:53.420 Like really expensive scented candles.
00:17:56.240 Oh, OK. 1.00
00:17:57.180 French never registers for me.
00:17:58.680 Yeah. 1.00
00:17:59.660 Even though you can do an impression of it perfectly. 1.00
00:18:01.860 Give a little fake French. 1.00
00:18:04.080 Come on. 1.00
00:18:06.060 It's not real.
00:18:06.680 She's got it.
00:18:07.240 She's got it.
00:18:07.700 She's got everything you need.
00:18:09.300 Isn't that amazing?
00:18:10.040 Yeah.
00:18:10.340 If you could just now understand, like, you know.
00:18:14.860 I have a fire.
00:18:15.980 It's not real.
00:18:16.600 I have a fire.
00:18:17.840 I have a fire.
00:18:19.780 Actually, I have a fire.
00:18:23.460 I have a fire.
00:18:27.480 I have a fire.
00:18:29.720 I have a fire.
00:18:30.620 That doesn't sound like a fire.
00:18:33.520 It's a fire.
00:18:34.440 No, no.
00:18:34.900 It's a fire.
00:18:35.740 It's a fire.
00:18:36.680 you know my dad is literally obsessed with quince and my own mother loves quince she goes oh i love
00:18:46.180 quince i go please use my code this is a huge issue for family members of ours they're shopping
00:18:52.700 quince okay and they don't even know to go to quince.com slash hacks okay it's so embarrassing
00:18:58.500 okay because quince what is it what is quince well it's elevated essentials i don't know how
00:19:04.720 let's just say it people okay they cover all spectrums of need the home travel i've been eyeing
00:19:10.420 the beauty well absolutely beauty they've got caviar on there are you hearing this joking no
00:19:14.920 i've totally missed they have caviar they have bader they have suitcases they have beautiful
00:19:19.540 looking torture cases you know what i purchased for myself and my partner what 100 italian leather
00:19:24.960 passport holders passport cases well the cashmere continues to to be what i call a safe cashmere
00:19:31.040 okay what does that mean well you don't have to freak the fuck out about it because you didn't
00:19:35.500 spend an arm and a leg and two of your sons okay just to get it gifts year-round valentine's day
00:19:40.900 you're looking for a gift the savings on there nice stuff quince works directly with safe ethical
00:19:47.040 factories and cuts out the middleman so that you're not paying for a brand markup just the
00:19:52.040 high-end quality clothing and quince uses the highest quality materials like 100 european
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00:20:16.820 Everything you need for a wardrobe that actually lasts. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to
00:20:22.140 quince.com slash hags for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns now available in canada
00:20:28.880 too that's right q u i n c e dot com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns that's
00:20:37.920 quince.com slash hags but wait back to candle back to gaslight gaslight okay it's like because
00:20:49.240 They're like, we made candles for like the kings of France and whatever.
00:20:53.440 Yeah. 0.99
00:20:53.940 And they had to fucking pivot, dog, to scented. 0.99
00:20:57.900 When gas was invented? 1.00
00:20:59.480 Yeah. 0.99
00:21:00.000 They realized they were getting fucked. 0.99
00:21:01.700 And so they were like, they had to pivot to scents, I believe. 0.99
00:21:05.780 Wow.
00:21:06.800 Imagine trying to, like, so what would that be now?
00:21:11.580 A corded phone?
00:21:13.480 Yeah.
00:21:14.220 The cords are now scented, okay?
00:21:16.060 but go back to oh yeah so so trades trades people and we built it in the in the classroom like we
00:21:25.000 built this little town inside the classroom like all the chairs went away and it was like different
00:21:29.300 stations and then you come in and you know a lot of the girls were bakers okay a lot of the girls
00:21:35.160 For candle makers, I wanted to be a cabinet maker.
00:21:42.920 And I remember doing a report on, I remember doing a report, learning about joints and being a joiner, I guess.
00:21:53.000 Yeah.
00:21:53.480 And I learned about the dovetail joints.
00:21:55.400 I thought they were just absolutely, you know, it was incredible.
00:21:58.440 Something they held together.
00:21:59.580 And then we made candelabras, wooden candelabras, okay.
00:22:05.160 saw them you know dowel these two things and then from the we went and got from the candle maker
00:22:10.660 the candles okay whatever it's just i think i sent you a thing that i of my i found a report
00:22:16.540 it's like the joiner by jackie novak yeah and it's like the kid handwriting but done really well
00:22:21.520 like report level yeah right right it's just there's a little drawing of a man yeah um the
00:22:28.480 joiner yeah being like dovetail joint yeah the home he built and it's like it's very sweet you
00:22:34.740 You know, there's no tale other than being charmed by oneself as a kid, which is worth exploring.
00:22:39.240 What is that?
00:22:40.060 So, by the way, I think it's also a unique actress thing. 0.97
00:22:43.160 No.
00:22:43.540 And that's why I get really, because every once a year, every once every 18 months, I get the urge to post a picture of myself as like a baby or a five-year-old.
00:22:51.460 Oh.
00:22:52.060 You have to resist that.
00:22:53.060 No, no, no, no.
00:22:53.840 No, no, no.
00:22:54.160 You have to.
00:22:54.780 And actually, I did it.
00:22:55.720 No, I did it once.
00:22:56.440 I did it once.
00:22:57.180 No, no.
00:22:57.440 Well, I've done it too.
00:22:58.140 No, no.
00:22:58.680 Yeah, and we all get a couple freebies.
00:23:00.680 Well, here's the worst.
00:23:01.400 And by the way, this is going to maybe hit hard.
00:23:02.820 and maybe, you know, this show can go far and wide.
00:23:05.720 Someone might see them and go, oh, she's attacking me.
00:23:08.320 No, but listen, it's particularly tough, particularly tough.
00:23:13.420 Actress, performer, finding a video of themselves as a youth
00:23:16.580 with a microphone on stage doing something showy,
00:23:19.540 and they go, I'm doing the same thing.
00:23:23.100 And it's like, no, all kids do that.
00:23:25.580 Oh, no, no, no.
00:23:26.500 This is a huge issue for me.
00:23:27.560 You ready?
00:23:27.840 It'd be a stranger to be a child who didn't do that.
00:23:29.120 Again, I'm like American Idol.
00:23:30.140 She's been singing since she was three.
00:23:31.860 Yeah.
00:23:32.040 everyone has including plenty of bad singers right of course it's not it's not the years
00:23:37.020 we're singing yeah it's not your years in the biz no no no yeah it's also funny like i sent
00:23:46.160 you one of me oh well this is the new year's eve friends can do it friend you can do it friend to
00:23:51.820 friend i'm talking about certainly friend to friend and that's that's where you have to take
00:23:54.520 it you take it to your friends you don't bring others in that's where you get that um don't
00:23:59.780 particularly bad i feel like there's a there's a gimlet-eyed um you know it's particularly bad
00:24:05.700 around thanksgiving day before thanksgiving of course people are at home they're yeah
00:24:10.800 going right and i mean i used to sit in that chair i mean i'm really i my sense of mentality
00:24:17.400 around that it gets out of control as you know as we talked about my fantasy was always to die in my
00:24:23.980 child's bedroom right between your parents yeah both my parents yeah that's the dream
00:24:29.900 that you know right but then you can't do that because you know the tragedy is a child
00:24:33.900 you know they're supposed to go first and then my ideal remember me giving birth I'd be giving
00:24:38.580 birth in my parents bed but then just outside the door anything you need right but that's
00:24:44.400 that's changed I don't feel that way anymore yeah yeah no you know it's like I give birth
00:24:50.480 I still like
00:24:51.260 you in the room
00:24:51.840 oh yeah
00:24:52.920 can you be just outside
00:24:54.020 me
00:24:54.960 they wouldn't let you in
00:24:57.100 I think now it's crazy
00:24:58.540 to let you one person in
00:24:59.620 oh no
00:25:00.200 sure
00:25:00.560 sure
00:25:00.980 I mean if you had nobody
00:25:02.140 I think you should be able
00:25:03.160 to have as many
00:25:03.780 like you should have
00:25:04.680 no more than 10
00:25:06.440 I dragged John out
00:25:07.060 no more than 10
00:25:07.780 10
00:25:08.880 I could see 5
00:25:10.980 around you
00:25:11.880 yeah
00:25:12.580 no
00:25:12.960 I think for me it would help
00:25:14.060 no
00:25:14.900 I think
00:25:16.120 really
00:25:16.480 I think
00:25:17.280 like
00:25:19.720 Like, I mean, I think they've, like, disproven the Lamaze or whatever.
00:25:22.880 Yeah, yeah.
00:25:23.280 Right?
00:25:24.100 I mean, I know nothing of this.
00:25:30.480 I mean, I don't think I would, you know, I don't know.
00:25:33.820 I don't know.
00:25:34.500 It's hard to know what you'd want.
00:25:36.000 Yeah, it is.
00:25:37.080 Until it's kind of like throwing up violently.
00:25:42.080 Yeah.
00:25:42.760 What you think you might want while throwing up violently.
00:25:45.520 That'd be different from what you want.
00:25:46.840 You want silence in birth, yeah.
00:25:48.640 Right?
00:25:49.160 I mean, it could be.
00:25:50.100 You want the sympathy when you've thrown up after.
00:25:53.560 Or like, I threw up the day after Halloween, you might recall.
00:25:56.340 I think I talked about it on the podcast.
00:25:57.740 Yes.
00:25:58.840 You want the privacy during.
00:26:00.580 Right.
00:26:01.300 But then you want, oh my God, are you throwing up?
00:26:05.180 Well, you're like, you're like, yeah.
00:26:07.400 You want it immediately.
00:26:09.280 I mean, if the sound doesn't carry, I'm like.
00:26:12.340 Hello?
00:26:12.640 Hello?
00:26:13.600 Yeah, okay.
00:26:14.220 I'm like, I threw up.
00:26:17.100 And then I go, oh no.
00:26:18.520 Okay.
00:26:18.880 And then I go, you didn't hear?
00:26:22.220 When you say three times, does that count three wretches? 0.74
00:26:24.780 Like, you know what I mean?
00:26:25.300 I threw up four times.
00:26:26.980 Does that mean trips to the bathroom?
00:26:28.620 Yeah.
00:26:29.040 Okay, yeah.
00:26:29.820 That's hysterical that you've been racking up vomit points on the heaves themselves.
00:26:35.700 She's like, and then like, and then I threw up six times today.
00:26:42.840 I've kind of, well, I wouldn't go that far, but sometimes I think I have.
00:26:47.640 i just vomited means a bunch of wretches in a row yeah i think it means like you know it's 0.50
00:26:53.700 happening and and then it ends when it stops oh god i hate throwing up it sucks no i remember like 0.54
00:27:02.360 as a kid really feeling like it was insane real memories i remember i remember i threw a throw up 0.63
00:27:09.200 in a towel someone oh no didn't you just have like um didn't you just wrote like your mother
00:27:14.200 laid down a blanket and you're just like free throwed up or whatever this is like i think like
00:27:20.560 yes i'm spoiled i'm an only child whatever over nurtured by the mother to overcompensate for the
00:27:26.500 father but yes okay but i do think it's a towel my mom would lay down a towel like basically
00:27:34.840 i was three free vomiting i mean it does make some sense i go go hey go to the bathroom on this
00:27:45.420 right right but yeah i would definitely i think that was when it's like you're i was very young
00:27:50.920 obviously i think like so sick from like fever whatever that it's like the trip to the bathroom 0.96
00:27:56.260 is like too much totally well that's i think that the trash you know the trash basket classic trash 0.93
00:28:01.440 basket. You know, next to the bed. I remember my neighbor, she told me a bowl. I remember
00:28:05.280 being like seven years old. She was like, I throw up at a bowl. Oh. A bowl. A bowl.
00:28:09.820 Mother brought a bowl. I mean, I guess, I guess it washes better than a bucket. I don't 0.99
00:28:14.060 know, but. What do you do with that bowl though? I mean, porcelain cleans, right? Porcelain
00:28:22.900 really? Well, you think, I mean like a glass? We got through wood. Definitely not the wooden
00:28:28.500 bowl i don't think salad bowl yeah yeah um i went to a restaurant recently they serve something in 0.98
00:28:36.480 wood i go really out of your fucking mind just because you feel it with a restaurant's 0.90
00:28:41.680 leeching in like or it's like the food is going in the woods porous it's soaking in the flavors 0.99
00:28:49.060 in a restaurant with a high volume it feels a little and they served like a hot thing in it
00:28:55.140 It wasn't cold. It wasn't crudité. Let's put it that way.
00:28:59.880 It was something wet. 0.95
00:29:01.360 Oh. Well, I mean, the allergens alone.
00:29:04.020 I know.
00:29:04.800 Wait, there was something I was going to share.
00:29:09.120 Oh, about throwing up. But I remember like, because like the only thing with not, with the blanket on the floor, right?
00:29:17.780 It's like so structureless as to be almost like it's too many options.
00:29:22.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:22.940 So then does that immediately put you into, like, you know, if, like, Henry VIII didn't want to see his kid born, okay, you know, we'd all be squatting, birthing, right?
00:29:33.140 Like, you're not supposed to be on your back.
00:29:34.700 Right, right, right. 1.00
00:29:35.720 You don't take a shit on your back, okay? 0.99
00:29:37.840 It's not like a bearing down posture or whatever, right? 1.00
00:29:41.680 God, you put it that way.
00:29:43.060 The primal.
00:29:43.680 No, it's helpful, right?
00:29:44.440 Yeah, no, it really does help.
00:29:45.420 The primal.
00:29:46.800 What is the primal vomit?
00:29:48.340 Like, what is vomiting in the woods?
00:29:49.540 Oh, that's good, yeah.
00:29:50.400 Okay, raised by nothing.
00:29:51.340 I think, I mean, it's just obviously you're bent over.
00:29:55.780 You're not just, bah, and then.
00:29:57.220 Have you ever seen someone vomit upright?
00:29:59.980 No.
00:30:01.080 Projectile?
00:30:01.760 Yeah, because I have.
00:30:03.720 You've seen projectile?
00:30:05.400 Yeah, I mean, they were sitting at a table with me drinking absinthe, okay, in Russia.
00:30:12.360 Was this at, no, really?
00:30:13.720 Yes, actually.
00:30:14.560 Is this tales from Georgetown?
00:30:17.160 Yeah.
00:30:17.760 Yeah.
00:30:17.980 But it was like, you know, it was that time where you go, like, oh, there are these people that, like, drink in this way where, like, they can keep drinking.
00:30:29.640 After they barf?
00:30:30.320 Yeah.
00:30:30.800 So he's like, oh!
00:30:34.600 Like, I passed, like, a plant.
00:30:38.860 And then back to the table.
00:30:41.380 It was like turning to cough.
00:30:44.380 Okay. 1.00
00:30:44.780 You were like, oh, fuck. 1.00
00:30:46.500 You were in college? 0.99
00:30:47.980 that's amazing that's amazing but i i'm wondering if it what it is because i i do feel like um
00:30:56.300 the bowl there's something like a bowl that feels dangerous like it's splashing back at you oh no i
00:31:02.180 meant like the toilet bowl okay yeah okay by the way it's like sorry like you know i'm gonna say
00:31:07.080 quickly because when you're grossed up by the toilet it helps you yeah 0.90
00:31:11.200 that happened to me after halloween i go oh i woke up i go i'm gonna fucking throw up like this is 0.78
00:31:17.800 crazy and i was like i think i'm going and that's when it's not a stomach that's when it's sort of 0.80
00:31:22.720 like you could almost it was like it's like it's feeling you're rich and then you're grossed out
00:31:26.920 pasta cake like it was like too much rich food something but it's like yeah and then you're down 0.94
00:31:32.280 there in the toilet and you go this is fucking disgusting i mean you throw up but there's 0.97
00:31:37.140 something comforting about like if it's really clean yeah right you have this thing you're 0.99
00:31:41.560 resting on you're hanging on the edge i've never rested on the toilet you've done that i've only
00:31:45.180 seen that in movies i mean you look at me with such utter confusion no right i mean like you
00:31:53.080 don't touch it at all i kind of really don't want to touch it i'm like hair up and like well yeah
00:31:58.320 but hold my hair back but i've never sure maybe at the bottom but i'm i've never laid like this
00:32:04.240 on the toilet no I feel like I just mean that that I mean that there's something stable that
00:32:13.180 you're sort of clinging to it's cold and is your base yeah the cold yeah exactly the cold is really
00:32:17.900 nice and the coldness of the tile floor and that yes and then you know you're making me want to
00:32:23.880 barf i don't know no it's like we're phantom threads you know what i mean like us in a marriage
00:32:36.760 okay let me know i can't remember what it feels like yeah but but the comfort okay of that and 0.97
00:32:43.840 then and then the fucking relief oh my god okay if they could bottle that honey 0.90
00:32:49.780 lots of people do right they put themselves through stressful situations because they get 0.98
00:32:54.000 addicted to the chemicals of the release and the relief rather but yeah yeah i know you're huge on
00:33:00.720 free solo and yet where were you and uh he was climbing by the way free solo so you saw right
00:33:06.060 what he did no no so i don't even know no no i know okay so like a week before he did it
00:33:11.900 before a free solo as i call him climbed was a building in taiwan yeah i saw i thought it was
00:33:17.300 live and i went oh and then i realized it was like scheduled for the following week and i go 0.96
00:33:20.960 something about this i go it's not gonna work so then happened to be home i go oh fuck it's
00:33:25.420 free solo through we turn it on it's literally the second he reaches the top okay like oh my 0.55
00:33:30.120 god we could have we could have talked because i was watching no it was the moment he reaches the
00:33:34.060 top utterly anticlimactic i was like wait what i was like this does not work like this is him at
00:33:39.140 the top he and his wife seem like strangers by the way they can still hear you in the mic
00:33:45.460 i didn't know that i was like i was like this is weird okay and then um but and then i i go let's
00:33:53.260 just rewind i want to just cut like just go back to the middle like does not work so boring like
00:33:58.660 just does not work as television does not work as television and it's i love when big come like
00:34:04.940 when netflix has such an extraordinary baffling misfire where it's like this is not watchable
00:34:11.180 and they have new cats
00:34:12.260 go okay he's reaching
00:34:13.320 the 64th floor
00:34:14.000 it's like
00:34:14.960 and then
00:34:15.920 Free Solo
00:34:17.300 is an excellent documentary
00:34:18.420 and it's on theaters
00:34:19.760 and Kate
00:34:20.800 classically
00:34:21.580 says Man on Wire
00:34:22.800 is a
00:34:23.480 you know
00:34:24.580 is like our finest film
00:34:25.700 or something
00:34:26.060 who does
00:34:26.580 he does
00:34:26.980 you
00:34:27.260 oh me
00:34:27.660 who does
00:34:29.960 because I also say that
00:34:31.100 I need to rewatch
00:34:31.660 Man on Wire
00:34:32.120 and then
00:34:33.160 oh I have a huge rewatch
00:34:34.080 oh I know
00:34:34.620 oh
00:34:35.400 nah
00:34:36.180 it's like too emotional
00:34:37.940 it's like an actually
00:34:39.100 great film
00:34:39.560 Grizzly Man
00:34:40.040 what
00:34:40.480 grizzly man no but always you and me together grizzly man we never watched it together right
00:34:45.160 no but synecdoche synecdoche new york i rewatched last week i'm gonna say this yeah you have to be
00:34:54.280 in a really strong place to watch that movie what okay what's number one trying to think what
00:35:01.400 i cannot watch synecdoche is almost you can't watch it i mean it's one of my favorite movies
00:35:06.380 it's unbelievable but it is it is too much about what life actually is that it's difficult
00:35:13.000 sometimes you sometimes you don't want uh the art to be that good he did it he did it with that
00:35:21.700 exactly the art is too good sometimes it's too good whoa whoa whoa yeah why don't we not like
00:35:28.180 why don't we it's it's too direct get moved by this is where you can come running 0.67
00:35:33.160 moved to shit or genre yeah you can go genre i tried watching yeah yeah yeah yeah you try 0.98
00:35:41.880 watching some genre no i was gonna go i tried watching some reality tv i couldn't fucking do 0.98
00:35:46.940 it but right but like no here's reality tv here's when i i go i'm out i'm out i don't want to see 0.98
00:35:53.160 your fucking relay race i don't want adults going you're gonna put this in the bucket the first team 0.97
00:35:59.380 gets i want to see well yeah you know what yeah of course and allegiances traders you're watching 1.00
00:36:04.500 you're trying to watch traders i tried to watch traders i hear it's amazing i watched it on and
00:36:08.300 they do you watched it i i watched it for ron funches oh my god i didn't even know he's on it
00:36:13.560 oh and there was a narrative there that i was curious about so so we we dove in i'm just dived
00:36:18.720 in we'd like to i'd like to to watch it but immediately they go into some really really
00:36:23.600 racing we watched on the condition that we could we could chris was like all fast forward really
00:36:27.700 risk okay i have a question medical question urgent medical question sometimes you need to
00:36:32.140 close your eye you see your pupil you see dark shadow your own pupil like like like do you ever
00:36:37.400 see you when you rub your eye really hard and it's like red and you see your eye do you know
00:36:41.880 what i'm talking about well i know the red but like like like i'm trying to like okay so are you
00:36:46.560 seeing the pupil are you seeing the round light yeah oh yeah there's lights exactly but sometimes
00:36:52.900 oh like i just closed well that's because i looked at that yeah yeah but sometimes just like
00:36:57.040 just okay i just want to make sure but what were you saying so fasting forwarding like what what
00:37:02.920 i i don't like oh yay yeah i know i know the time wasted applauding when the host comes out
00:37:09.780 oh totally totally by the the set yeah yeah real i mean you know like we had the real world it was
00:37:15.740 exquisite it's over i don't need them walking through the house but i i would say it's that
00:37:19.360 no well no no no no this is my bed no no back onto the no no no the walk through the house
00:37:26.000 oh yeah and by the way like oh and it's always busted it's always hideous yeah it's it's like
00:37:31.560 it's always like it's like don't embarrass yourself i don't know yeah there's there's a lot of
00:37:36.680 whatever they're like a gumball machine you know thank you okay
00:37:40.820 a turquoise table yeah yeah yeah right it's like exactly
00:37:46.760 you know like different size jars of candy
00:37:52.280 but i guess i yearn for i do think there's like some interesting things happening out there like
00:38:05.080 i can imagine being a reality tv like producer like you're in the game it's like people talk
00:38:09.760 about comedy being shit or something right it's like it's like yeah and like you know right right
00:38:15.640 it's like it's like and i'm sure there's people like there are there are things that would be 0.96
00:38:19.880 watch like an austere version of some of these things is an embarrassing bad art it's one of
00:38:26.220 the worst art forms and so okay okay like beyond because and then when it's done well you know
00:38:33.520 oh you have theories yeah well and reality tv is like well i don't know i'm having trouble
00:38:42.020 drawing the well i think i think what it is is that um stand up i think the problem is stand up
00:38:52.660 is um it can live simultaneously as an art form which arguably some may call it that but i mean
00:39:00.180 or it can be approached that way right but it's historically okay it's like a trade
00:39:09.340 See what I'm saying?
00:39:10.220 From candle maker to stand-up.
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00:40:52.300 By the way, you know, I'm looking at you and you know what I'm thinking about?
00:40:54.560 And I know you're going to guess and almost, you'll guess very quickly.
00:40:57.700 Dinner?
00:40:58.140 Yeah.
00:40:59.640 God, I know.
00:41:00.520 You know me.
00:41:01.080 I texted Jacqueline for the recording I go
00:41:03.140 maybe after
00:41:05.080 we get a bite
00:41:06.380 so you'd be thinking about it during the recording
00:41:09.600 I know
00:41:11.620 what do you think
00:41:12.720 the likelihood is of us getting dinner after this
00:41:15.660 there's no pressure I swear to god I mean this
00:41:17.380 happy to go home
00:41:18.640 well
00:41:21.000 the only questions are
00:41:24.740 yeah
00:41:25.240 where
00:41:26.800 what could the questions be
00:41:28.860 you know what i'll do i'm feeling wild crossroads yes sweetheart it's been now would you we'd have
00:41:34.720 to have an early dinner because it has to happen now i love early dinner meaning straight from the
00:41:38.480 cast yeah you'll be driving me love that you'll be dropping me off okay well it sounds like a
00:41:43.640 really fun night um because because skinny mark i know i know you know what i was thinking about
00:41:54.140 but i really i'll get up we won't talk about the idea i'm gonna clean up the living room so that
00:41:58.000 i really want you to come i want to start making like more frozen drinks i know not that it has
00:42:04.080 to be my specialty what a crass specialty no i still want the pina colada remember when i made
00:42:09.040 strawberry dax i do in a pinch i do i gotta clean up um god kate okay you ready so just just home
00:42:16.620 home stuff yeah please oh i inquired about getting a new awning you know like in front
00:42:22.460 no in the back there's like a very old green one and they're like you know it's just like
00:42:28.560 2800 plus yeah you know and then it's like no oh no it's retracted and 850 if you want to
00:42:38.120 like motorize okay i don't need to motorize if i do want to track and then i was then like me
00:42:41.920 like running back well what about for a fixed awning you know like just like and slowly my 0.78
00:42:48.260 my dream is is there's no story here other than like shit costs money i know i know this is why 0.93
00:42:56.500 i run back to diy again and i can't i know no just just cough it up if you want just cough it 0.93
00:43:01.160 up i i'm like give me a monthly rate back to home struggle really quickly noticed i don't want to
00:43:08.260 say it mold yeah yeah so how'd you know a lot of rain here in la area living room curtain behind
00:43:16.960 the curtain because the curtains like kind of always pull push to the side so maybe like 0.59
00:43:21.200 some hot air condensation or something yeah some condensation i don't fucking know 0.97
00:43:26.240 i didn't know that shit was inspected right yeah but there but mold on the exterior and i go 0.98
00:43:32.860 and wait on the exterior sorry interior interior just on the and we take it off with like vinegar 0.98
00:43:40.380 and that kills it just by but then i then i look up they go wear an n95 mask goggles i go
00:43:46.400 well i literally went like that and basically i was like i know i'm like it can't be that
00:43:51.720 to treat mold i mean but everyone's living old here and there are you kidding everyone's living
00:43:56.780 in it non-stop yeah i mean i mean we are 86 percent mold yeah a lot of people don't know that
00:44:03.660 but anyway but that freaked me out and then because and then with my redness i go
00:44:08.080 it was mold sickness yeah i go i was part of like a a thing with my can't open building complex file
00:44:15.260 in my building where where they were going to go into reap in los angeles this thing where they go
00:44:20.380 into escrow and we pay the city and like due to them not doing maintenance tasks and uh i uh got
00:44:26.080 on a call yeah i was sworn in yeah do you want to testify yes give testimony whatever yeah my heart
00:44:32.420 was racing oh that's time to give testimony to the judge i go oh my god i was like oh my god the
00:44:37.700 adrenaline i was like like you know i take the stage you know what i mean like that's one thing
00:44:41.700 zoom yeah and i started like if anyone knows me and my name was said like like in the group you
00:44:48.540 know like it was like so embarrassing okay because i was getting filled with a civic rage yeah did
00:44:55.180 you start crying no yeah interestingly i didn't okay but i started like over articulating like
00:45:01.260 using big words like yeah but like poorly almost like it was it was crazy like i was like and i was
00:45:07.700 like like as the previous tenant said calling a second time or or like you know you said to call
00:45:12.600 between these hours i have called between those hours i've called after hours and left messages
00:45:16.520 and other various forms of redundancies in yeah you know what i mean like in the um mode
00:45:22.200 of communicating to the thing i just um you know like i get very mad when people probably because
00:45:31.340 i struggle to articulate myself live by choosing it as a you know it's like when there's an energy
00:45:40.460 of uh when the systems are using language oh it's scary it's like to make someone else feel
00:45:47.980 disempowered when they're using legal language and all this kind of stuff to like screw the little
00:45:53.260 guy okay like and it's happening live with like and i'm hearing like my other neighbor like get
00:45:58.220 on there and say like her piece and it's like i'm like whatever this is like we didn't win like
00:46:04.140 like it's not happening like like we we got fucked wow and uh tenants rights so i was pretty stirred
00:46:13.260 up with my neighbors that sounds kind of fun though yeah no it was um and oh during it i got 0.86
00:46:19.580 i was just like shaking and then i got off and i was like it ain't the old days you can pivot
00:46:24.300 any time and i was like law school i become a trial lawyer now totally i could do it totally
00:46:30.340 no i the other day i asked genuine i go my opening and closings how long's pre-med how many years oh
00:46:37.320 yeah yeah i go how old can you be is there a cutoff no there's no cutoff no i watched a woman um how 0.60
00:46:44.020 long is this like seven years it's probably a year and change i was going i watched a woman
00:46:48.580 and then realized it was a narrative in a TV show. 0.54
00:46:50.820 Yeah.
00:46:51.180 But I don't believe there is a cutoff.
00:46:55.220 Imagine if I started pre-med as a joke,
00:46:58.020 and then it took off.
00:47:00.440 I don't practice.
00:47:02.880 Well, you just got to focus.
00:47:04.160 You read the books.
00:47:05.260 Oh, you could do it.
00:47:06.280 I mean, the residency.
00:47:07.000 Isn't there weird things like that where, like,
00:47:07.960 by the way, of course, there are brilliant doctors,
00:47:10.260 and it's a vocation, and they're meant to do it, 0.96
00:47:12.220 and they're fucking brilliant. 0.99
00:47:13.620 Then there's bad doctors. 0.99
00:47:15.420 I could be a bad doctor with a gift.
00:47:17.240 do you mean a bad doctor as in like what i mean is malicious no no of course not but i just mean
00:47:21.900 like there's something about with what like being a doctor like the gift of comedy no
00:47:26.760 i just mean like like if you can focus and read the books and you answer the questions then you're
00:47:34.220 a doctor yeah i know i don't need to tell you what do they call the guy who finished last in
00:47:38.840 med school it never never fails it never fails and if you're a comedian who can't laugh 0.97
00:47:45.360 at the real true real shit if you can't laugh at that you're not one by the way what about 0.99
00:47:52.200 next week the aristocrats oh my god let's just talk aristocrats by the way i remember seeing 0.99
00:48:00.260 the documentary the aristocrats in like high school yeah and this breaks my heart pretending
00:48:06.040 to laugh in the theater to prove that i was see funny i was like
00:48:09.740 okay but i feel like like the doc like it wasn't people weren't laughing right i want to watch the
00:48:22.100 doc with you no i think they're supposed to be definitely supposed to be it's like
00:48:25.360 it's like the greats telling the aristocrats but the thing with the greats telling the aristocrats
00:48:30.360 right and for those who don't know yeah here we go because you might exist right so i'm gonna
00:48:36.820 joke there's an old joke there's an old joke and a guy a guy goes i got this act buddy you gotta
00:48:43.140 see it the guy goes okay what's the act and you go well and then the the we should save it in full
00:48:49.140 for the aristocrats episode which i'm thinking is gonna happen it's never gonna happen okay it's
00:48:54.100 happening next week but but the idea is that you describe the most but the idea is that you just 0.59
00:48:59.380 described the most you know vile vile you know blue you know gross pathetic whatever and then
00:49:06.380 the guy goes okay what's the act called and you say the aristocrats yeah and why is that funny 0.95
00:49:12.080 right you know you know who just came into it i just became billy crystal the aristocrats
00:49:16.620 i think and i i actually felt like sarah for a second when i go yeah this is uh yeah you know
00:49:22.400 like like explaining the uh aristocrats almost like but um slipping slipping this off okay 0.92
00:49:34.000 and then look you palantir you're on watch palantir can't fucked we're gonna have to take 0.97
00:49:41.920 a hard look oh we're going deep we know we're going we're going deep with the boycotts by the 0.97
00:49:46.400 way amazon we all know we should have given up ten thousand years ago and by the way but it's
00:49:50.160 actually real conversation like i was on reddit talking about it like i mean i mean reading yeah
00:49:55.360 lurking yeah yeah yeah yeah and they're like they're like someone's like i closed my account
00:50:01.680 yesterday and i and i actually had a moment like like saying like don't order from amazon right
00:50:06.160 like yeah got it you know yeah or like you know not a single thing for six months and then we'll
00:50:11.520 see where they are closing the account i was like oh i was like i didn't even like almost like didn't
00:50:18.000 know you could like i know exactly like like that's like can you also close like your birth
00:50:22.080 certificate like that's how ingrained it is i know and i i felt like uh i felt like shook and scared
00:50:26.560 like i was like i had by the way i was thinking about because i'm like i'm gonna deactivate amazon
00:50:31.360 and i was thinking about quitting amazon and i was like i can do it and i looked up to the sky
00:50:36.320 yeah and saw a bird i saw a bird flying and i was like i had to connect with nature in a moment to
00:50:42.880 to remember that i'm of the earth and i don't need amazon i can shop i can shop in the woods
00:50:48.260 for beauty for a breeze and i've been someone who long periods i'm like i'm going to three stores
00:50:55.240 i'm going to three brick and mortars i'm going to the hardware store of course i go we're going 0.72
00:50:58.860 back we didn't have amazon a fucking second ago i mean convenience breeds death i mean this is 0.92
00:51:03.540 the truth we didn't have it a second ago we don't have to have it it's fine it really is fine 0.99
00:51:07.240 jeff bezos i fucking hope i see you on a red carpet bitch oh why is he on the carpet he's 0.98
00:51:13.220 like out he's like i love hollywood he's like going to parties i saw him at one thing like a 0.99
00:51:20.020 few years ago and i was like he's allowed to fucking be here like it's so fucking like 1.00
00:51:24.440 bitch i i fucking hope i run into your bitch ass i fucking hope me silent hi chat me actually 1.00
00:51:31.720 i had a nightmare like that once hello yeah i had a yeah i go she's she's got him by the ball 1.00
00:51:38.120 she's gonna turn any second she's gonna turn anything she's got it she's gone from the inside
00:51:41.720 yeah yeah yeah um being said amazon has some great shows and uh you know the film tv division is oh
00:51:49.020 and then i saw it was like it was like no no no because literally it was like it was like and by
00:51:53.460 the way this includes like getting rid of all your streamers you know all the streamers amazon
00:51:58.180 shaming no no there were there were other streamers like that are that are batched in or whatever like
00:52:03.040 yeah or or i forget not specifically but the amazon but anyway it was like uh interesting
00:52:08.260 the the closing the account closing the account hearing those words did something different to
00:52:13.540 me than just like boycotting boycotting amazon sounds like a good time right yeah totally totally
00:52:17.980 like hey yeah like yeah you know like uh like when my mom's like my mom's like you know like
00:52:23.520 first you like to go shopping in your own closet you know like that kind of thing right like whatever
00:52:26.960 uh I don't know if she says that or it was like that idea you know but but point is I was like
00:52:34.300 I actually thought I was like it was so it was so sick I was like I was like Amazon's like
00:52:40.640 one of the only things that's really there for me I was like I was like I go I go to
00:52:46.960 Amazon ad by the Amazon ad of people reckoning with what they lose like I know it is like like
00:52:54.700 they it's so funny but i because i was we're walking right and i go i go i mean it's not
00:52:59.840 just when i go i need something and i go how do they have it i go when i want to build something
00:53:04.540 myself not just buy when i want to build something babe the materials
00:53:07.920 like i was like i'm a builder i'm a creative right i'm i was literally fully doing it
00:53:17.420 no the amount of times i go whoa they've got me well they've got you by the cause i go i go i
00:53:22.540 I want to change my life right this second.
00:53:24.200 I bet there's something on Amazon that can help me.
00:53:25.880 I bet there's something I can build,
00:53:27.280 but the materials on Amazon that can help me. 0.99
00:53:28.600 Same fucking day. 1.00
00:53:30.000 Bullshit. 1.00
00:53:30.500 It's done. 1.00
00:53:32.160 You bootlicking ice bitch. 1.00
00:53:35.100 You're out. 1.00
00:53:35.880 That means Whole Foods is out.
00:53:37.580 I know.
00:53:38.240 Buy Whole Foods.
00:53:39.260 I know.
00:53:39.520 It's over.
00:53:39.900 It's over.
00:53:40.180 It's completely fine.
00:53:41.200 It's actually going to be incredible.
00:53:42.780 Yeah.
00:53:43.100 I just had almost, listen.
00:53:44.580 No.
00:53:45.160 No.
00:53:46.080 They opened us sprouts in my neighborhood.
00:53:47.920 I'm excited.
00:53:48.860 Yeah.
00:53:50.300 It's actually easy.
00:53:51.420 Well, yeah.
00:53:52.080 it's it's actually oh well guys sweet i got another one for you apple yeah i know you just 0.95
00:53:58.040 got your computer tim cook right yeah had a fucking apple or whatever i'm sorry like 0.95
00:54:02.680 it's like like apples like apples over like oh my god i i i feel like no we're gonna we're gonna 0.99
00:54:10.460 boycott we're gonna we're gonna post all the hags so everyone knows the hag shop is gonna be we're
00:54:14.680 gonna boycott i know i know we're gonna be boy we're gonna we're gonna figure it out um 0.99
00:54:22.060 um yeah jeff's gotta go i love hollywood in his suit his fucking uncle fester ass 0.99
00:54:31.340 fucking no by the way fester's fucking hot yeah yeah i believe you referred to yourself 1.00
00:54:35.280 as fester earlier yeah yeah and i had and i was actually sexually attracted to fester as a child 0.99
00:54:41.860 i've always been by yeah um um did anyone blow me away as a child trying to think i had sexual
00:54:57.500 feelings for fester it wasn't like i had a crush on john travolta in greece right but was it 0.52
00:55:03.040 actually sexual right i didn't make me horny uncle fester made me horny
00:55:07.720 it was fester and joan cusack right i was like i want to watch them right right now 0.95
00:55:15.580 what's interesting because he was so grateful if you're
00:55:19.000 you love that yeah it reminds me of a conversation we once had
00:55:24.740 oh so grateful
00:55:28.180 like to me i was like i was like like the like the hideous old man who's like
00:55:37.660 sorry okay so i'm being really violent to the set yeah yeah um just thinking i had an explosive
00:55:54.860 meal at crossroads okay okay and i'm thinking about what we're getting tonight and i'm thinking
00:55:58.940 it's gonna be the last time i went was with you probably what six months ago longer yeah longer
00:56:03.800 because it wasn't after I came home
00:56:05.660 and I was away for a good eight months.
00:56:08.860 Everyone remembers my...
00:56:10.720 When Jacqueline was gone for eight months.
00:56:12.220 Yeah, on my stomach on a carpet in Scotland.
00:56:16.060 Remember those recordings?
00:56:17.260 Yeah. 1.00
00:56:19.940 Well, time to wrap this bitch right up. 1.00
00:56:23.600 So, 1.00
00:56:25.180 someone trying to come for me with the,
00:56:30.060 oh, the vertical ridges on the nail thing.
00:56:32.260 what do vertical ridges on the nail mean you know someone tried to come for you what are you
00:56:37.160 talking about just like instagram and i'm like saying buzz off vertical means what like something 0.97
00:56:42.360 yeah like you know like oh yeah inadequate fucking whatever the hell and i'm done with it i'm done 0.99
00:56:50.060 with like skincare i go it's over i think it's actually done you know what i mean giving a shit 0.98
00:56:55.520 about it all you mean kind of a little like i mean it was only to me as i've said before i mean
00:57:00.880 my skin's not some masterpiece okay like hey that's my friend you're talking about okay it's
00:57:06.100 whatever it's fine like it's it's whatever but like something's always a sport yeah yeah or you
00:57:13.220 know it's like noxema ads clean you know clean and clear ah you know it was always i'm very
00:57:20.200 effective at advertising it really works on me but no i think it's just it's yeah i just it's
00:57:25.960 something is done yeah for us you mean like time to move on to like spoons
00:57:31.080 or i just mean like it's not oh here's what it is because of my rash
00:57:36.040 yeah yes something changed yeah yeah i have been stripping away like everything to see what my
00:57:42.380 allergy is so i'm i'm on a bar of soap right and i'm on cetaphil what's the bar the bar of soap is
00:57:48.980 a sulfur bar it's like sulfur soap it's like six dollars and ninety nine cents and by the way
00:57:55.800 redness it'll instantly take it away in a way that you'll be shocked the redness comes back
00:57:59.460 yeah but it takes it away i'm doing a bar of soap i'm doing moisturizer cetaphil sunscreen and then
00:58:06.280 i have like i found a thing in my bag that it's like la roche posse like you can get a drugstore 0.87
00:58:11.880 it's like a thicker cream yeah i know that one it's like i've just been fucking doing that 0.67
00:58:16.300 right it's not i mean continue to send free products and i'll continue to rip into them 0.78
00:58:20.920 top speed but for this week it's over we should um i know what did you think we'll leave but what
00:58:28.120 did you think of probably the only guest i would ever want on carolyn mace yeah you started okay
00:58:36.040 i start into your castle and she she goes her she's talking to you it's really cool because
00:58:40.600 it sounds like she's lectured it doesn't sound like she's reading so she's not reading she she
00:58:43.640 some of her books like when she does the audio yeah are basically her teaching the book okay i
00:58:48.200 i got it it rocks rocks but she's like she's like little chuckles and stuff yeah yeah yeah
00:58:52.280 yeah you're listening to someone lecture not just read a text and i'm taking off on the plane and
00:58:57.240 she goes there's no oh what is i already forgot she's like there is nothing to fear there's nothing
00:59:03.520 to but she's actually not her she's quoting teresa i know exactly what she was doing what 0.98
00:59:08.880 did she say let nothing disturb you let nothing disturb you i go yeah bitch you know all all uh 0.98
00:59:13.540 flies away yeah like all passes and it's like nothing frighten you and then she's like but 0.97
00:59:19.700 then later but then carolyn carolyn mays is talking about like people that uh you know 0.92
00:59:24.820 like searching for wellness check about people with their fucking beads and their candles and 0.98
00:59:28.440 all this bullshit so good and she goes the soul is not a spa this is yeah i mean i stole a line 0.99
00:59:33.380 for i i stole saying pleasure cruise literally just yeah from her yeah yeah like like like being 0.98
00:59:38.040 like you know it's a pleasure cruise okay from her saying the soul is not a day spa people
00:59:42.520 i mean she's she has all she's like you know hysterical oh yeah okay i've every time i go
00:59:49.720 to chicago i invite her to my shows you know i'm getting her mixed up with sorry louise hay
00:59:55.620 because similar not alive fields not alive but uh very different vibes well louise louise hay is 0.72
01:00:02.900 like cancer is because you right don't uh like your dad or whatever like that's like right that's
01:00:10.660 like yeah i mean it's a little bit it's uh i'm abstracting but well it's just carolyn is not
01:00:17.920 but carolyn's cool carolyn's shoulder shoulder shoulder and then off you go off you go
01:00:21.880 it's like her thing like yes pat pat pat but yeah like she doesn't coddle her thing is you
01:00:28.140 and i like about her yeah her going you're not gonna get everything you want in life 0.99
01:00:31.900 you fucking lunatic no no she literally goes by the way needed to hear it no no kate kate 0.99
01:00:37.440 I was like, of course you don't get anything you want. 1.00
01:00:43.420 She goes, I started cackling in a Target 15 years ago.
01:00:48.560 Because she goes, do you want to know the definition of hell?
01:00:52.340 She goes, ambition. 0.98
01:00:56.020 And I love it because she is ambitious.
01:00:59.820 She is like a businesswoman.
01:01:01.180 She has a business.
01:01:02.460 She has books.
01:01:03.160 She has whatever, right? 0.95
01:01:04.320 She's so fucking cool. 0.96
01:01:05.140 she's like she's like talking about like how she got furious in an airport okay she's like i was 0.97
01:01:09.960 like animating the queen the queen archetype lives in me and i was animating the shadow side of the
01:01:14.900 queen on that day going upset that the plane was delayed or whatever up it thing i can't believe
01:01:20.000 this yeah she's like and then right after like a couple fans of hers came up more just like you
01:01:25.160 know like we're like caroline like your work has meant a lot to us over the years and she was just
01:01:28.640 like you know the kind of like comedy of being seen having mortal yeah but she tells this one
01:01:34.900 story of being in a makeup chair before some tv show and she sees that the makeup artist is just
01:01:40.600 like on her like the producer is being shitty to the makeup artist she sees that the makeup artist
01:01:45.500 is about to like maybe snap yeah and tell off the whatever and carolyn's like grace like like came
01:01:52.820 straight through her okay and she goes and it's like something she wouldn't necessarily like she
01:01:56.720 just she saw it she knew and she goes no no no she didn't say anything okay i forgot how the rest
01:02:05.260 of it goes i have so many i have so many stories to tell you said no no no no no carolyn did to
01:02:10.060 the makeup artist like she saw it and we're like no no no no and then the makeup artist got it and
01:02:15.020 she didn't get fired on that day yeah but like she's like yeah it's not i'm not i'm not uh she's
01:02:21.420 like uh the omers okay what the hell she's like you know the saying om okay she's like i'm not
01:02:28.000 really liked at the wellness conferences right right right okay because i'm not all love and
01:02:32.260 light or whatever you know what i mean no she is of course of course she goes you want a soul
01:02:37.440 with stamina you need to call up a soul with stamina the word stamina and then she's like
01:02:42.500 she's like these people in their fucking retreats or she's like and she's like you want to build a 0.69
01:02:47.580 soul do you go i'm not going on a retreat because that's gonna take oh or it's like basically it's 0.99
01:02:53.680 like no no i just do that at home oh i do that in the shower doll no she goes she goes one maybe
01:03:00.160 next week okay i'll give you greatest hits of carolyn and we do greatest hits of carolyn and
01:03:03.920 then we get her on the show because that okay or a show yeah it's a side thing tell me now i've
01:03:08.800 already named it it's called tell me now i'm listening and i encourage everyone i'm listening
01:03:12.340 to the audiobook and have you gotten i think there's a lot of i'm like half an hour eventually
01:03:17.100 there is music oh yeah there's ambience they're like i mean there's ambient like yeah and you go
01:03:22.400 down like i think i might have fallen to my knees once while listening okay like in radical prayer
01:03:28.720 like she could get me there i swear i was like she's no she's literally everything like she is
01:03:36.500 perfect for you okay i'm so excited she's like she's like but yeah she's like you know someone's 0.94
01:03:40.860 in a workshop right now to get over knowing you oh damn because you know everyone you know what 0.82
01:03:47.800 is my highest what is my highest what is my highest purpose what is and they can't even 0.98
01:03:51.260 operate at their lowest that's that's cool okay that's cool they want to go and she goes and they
01:03:55.480 always wanted to be a job they go what's my purpose and they're only happy if it's a job
01:03:59.320 that comes with a pension yeah okay yeah and that you don't get guidance because you never listen
01:04:04.360 to guidance the reason the saints got oh go dig here there's a fountain okay of healing water
01:04:10.740 it's because they listened look at this like the the angels aren't giving you guidance they go
01:04:15.820 you're getting guidance all day it's called don't eat that go for a walk yeah yeah and you're
01:04:21.640 ignoring it yeah you know you need to go for you know you should go for a walk a little thing you
01:04:25.240 they say maybe i should get up and go for a walk yeah you say no why would you be you think you're
01:04:29.840 gonna get writing big great huge she goes it great big huge so you have to develop a relationship
01:04:35.760 with your soul angels yeah yeah with the angel okay whatever it rocks okay guys just get in there
01:04:40.320 and i've met a couple hags like at the merch novek's famous merch cart yeah who were like
01:04:45.920 carolyn like they're oh okay i mean i'm really excited i'm really excited okay okay well
01:04:51.520 what a pleasure as always love you all right love you