Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Soot Happens

00:00:00.000 So, it happens.

00:00:30.000 hello first of all hi i want to say we've been doing this podcast for years yeah i'm coming in

00:00:45.900 today with the energy i've never had in it yeah which is i want revenge i'm furious i've been

00:00:52.460 wronged I've been abused I have been abused by a chimney sweep and that's true so and I'm going

00:01:03.500 and listen I feel you by the way I was I texted you I'm nervous breakdown level I'm calling upon

00:01:09.840 the listeners I'm calling upon my community I need to I need to bury this business I want my

00:01:15.740 money back my jaw has been dislocated due to stress not two nights ago the night of the

00:01:22.120 incident i woke up the next day by a toss and turning all night from the horrors my body is

00:01:28.480 off chewing is off my my lower teeth are in a different place than they were three days ago

00:01:32.460 i'm not kidding so i'll um make a note to talk about your chewing like chewing um because i have

00:01:37.340 it's not a lot to say to be clear it's not that's what that hurt but like you might want to i'm so

00:01:43.800 tense that i left so here's what needs to happen before you okay before you we're gonna this is an

00:01:49.660 investigation of your entire personality okay this is gonna be huge okay okay by the way and

00:01:53.600 number two i'm gonna free you okay and i love you all right by the way i think there's never

00:01:57.020 past life going on with me and the chimney sweep because when he called me i knew well i know we're

00:02:01.320 gonna talk about that but we can please please please okay okay okay i just want to say so i

00:02:05.580 just everyone needs to be clear okay i know up to i am i'm up to date on the basics but not today

00:02:12.260 But not today.

00:02:14.160 And so I just want them to do that.

00:02:16.500 So when I'm going, I'm not posing.

00:02:18.060 What happened with the Jimmy's feet?

00:02:19.160 Right?

00:02:19.520 I'm going to, there needs to be, we are very transparent.

00:02:22.560 We don't, someone asked us recently.

00:02:23.220 Hello, your father texted me.

00:02:25.060 Yeah.

00:02:25.500 Yeah.

00:02:25.860 So I'm just saying, catch them up.

00:02:27.900 Yeah.

00:02:28.100 Okay.

00:02:28.260 I'm catching everyone up.

00:02:29.180 But I have so much to say that it's almost.

00:02:30.900 No, no, no.

00:02:31.460 I know.

00:02:31.800 This is, okay.

00:02:32.340 I'm overwhelmed.

00:02:33.000 Okay.

00:02:34.640 Here it comes.

00:02:35.320 Here comes the full story, everyone.

00:02:37.400 I moved in to a new home.

00:02:39.740 See, wait, hold on.

00:02:40.640 Okay.

00:02:40.820 The problem here.

00:02:41.960 Okay.

00:02:42.260 okay is there's something in me going no okay wait because it's like i want the i do want we 0.98

00:02:48.780 all want okay you're going you're getting into the narrative of how you were fucked first i just as 0.99

00:02:56.480 an experiment want first yeah hard facts no no because all of the shit okay here's the hard 0.99

00:03:02.660 here are the hard facts should i say the hard facts because i have the slimmed down version 0.93

00:03:06.180 okay so kate she's really just oh my god i'm getting a chimney sweep whatever right okay i've

00:03:13.400 got a i've got a fireplace now i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it i get you gotta get a chimney sweep

00:03:17.060 i heard her tell someone else you gotta get chimney sweep okay so you call next thing i know

00:03:22.620 okay i get sent pictures of kate's white curtains and the very top of the curtain so high high up

00:03:28.840 and they are way high above the level of where the chimney is, okay?

00:03:33.640 Up, and they are blackened like a fire happened in that room, you know, and things got, so

00:03:39.940 they're like blackened curtains, like the entire corner, like a vignette, like the white

00:03:44.460 curtain has been given a vignette corner, okay?

00:03:48.020 See that?

00:03:48.560 Then I see other areas of fabrics, okay?

00:03:51.400 I see other, just a level of damage has been done.

00:03:54.600 Oh, she goes, you know, so she texts me, you know, my house is ruined or something, okay? 0.96

00:03:57.620 isn't worth checking and fuck it so maybe it is for sure all right we have photos i'll be posting 0.97

00:04:03.600 all of the photos to the instagram so now i want to do the bottom of my foot want to talk about 0.97

00:04:10.160 that well that was a huge yeah so so so so wait just just okay here's what needs to happen okay

00:04:15.740 so hold please okay i'm doing deep breathing all right so

00:04:19.300 okay would you like to know what ADD is I'm starting to rock self-rock yes which is

00:04:25.900 I'm going madness it's not madness it's self-soothing okay okay hold on hold on hold

00:04:31.680 on okay this is ADD okay I go I got to find the text from Kate open up messages successfully then

00:04:36.780 I start to write in I search for the word I want to search for my house is ruined or something

00:04:42.000 I search the word text oh yeah totally okay there are people who don't do that ADD is me

00:04:47.860 every day leaving my shoes my house is destroyed okay headline i'm gonna do the headline of course

00:04:55.020 my house is not destroyed but damage has been done all right here we go remorseless i'm gonna

00:05:02.660 the remorselessness of these people and i'll be giving names can you imagine for six hundred

00:05:07.160 dollars a month text thread made public ours because it's rich okay hold on okay this is

00:05:14.620 this is wild okay you ready so so you ever see me like this i've never been so upset

00:05:19.680 so i just ask you about something and you go and for tomorrow you go i'm in nightmare

00:05:25.980 okay i'm in nightmare okay i'm like studio city seeing if you were nearby still chimney sweep

00:05:34.680 ruined my house okay i wrote i wrote three question marks and then here come the photos

00:05:39.680 yeah yeah okay just just devastation no but okay but but so yeah the vignette i'm talking about

00:05:48.460 really densely on a you know this would require serious cleaning and then and then let's see yeah

00:05:55.460 there's just soot and i go and he left i'm in right i don't know it's a man okay and he left

00:06:01.300 because i'm going if he's still there i'm getting on the phone whatever you okay all right never

00:06:05.220 let him leave so kate berlant i'm on phone so articles have been dropped articles ruined house

00:06:11.480 like yeah you know my house okay you're going i'm on phone not i'm on the phone with them yeah

00:06:16.460 all right 900 good just you dropped the word 900 okay out of conduct so i'm going okay she's saying 0.99

00:06:22.000 that it costs 900 right yeah like i've been fucked 900 right i go motherfucker if he had a company 0.99

00:06:28.460 because i was like was this a fucking scam you know what i mean i go if he had a company they 0.99

00:06:33.460 need to pay for cleaning or replacement the law offices of brilliant novek are open okay no no 0.98

00:06:40.920 now now those who know us know in the past kate will think she deserves nothing but a free drink

00:06:46.220 down in the lobby perhaps of your choosing something you've mixed pre-mixed perhaps

00:06:50.120 okay where i'm going full refund and pay for damages essentially right always i'm always

00:06:55.360 pushing for that so i start to feel this panic i gotta if he's still there i gotta get on the 0.98

00:06:58.660 phone before kate undersells i know but she's out i hear this is giving me a fucking heart attack 0.79

00:07:03.700 so i'm on phone 900 i go they need to play for cleaning or replacement trying to trying to get 0.92

00:07:07.380 the words into her quick and i hear are you ready they're taking off 450 okay i go okay i go kate

00:07:17.060 four question marks okay i go that's not enough add me to the call this is rapid fire where i

00:07:25.080 don't wait to finish the whole sentence i need it through so i go add me to the call i'll pretend i

00:07:29.140 own the house and then and then i go it's not happening i go i'll call and you can yeah and

00:07:34.220 you can add me confusion i meant add you the contact is dropped you drop the contact please

00:07:39.100 call you say you go please call i almost cried so i'm being charged 450 i start texting in need

00:07:45.340 i need you on the call okay i call instantly do you understand i don't like to make phone i never

00:07:52.900 make phone calls so cool I know I know what happened again he hung up on you you're like

00:07:56.040 hello okay yeah and I go hi um I'm at and I referenced let's say your street was yeah you

00:08:00.880 know yeah yeah I don't know why yeah ginger street okay hi I'm calling regarding the ginger

00:08:05.380 street street property um that I uh managed yeah yeah and genius okay okay because I'm like I'll

00:08:11.860 say I own the house because and you you had written back I said I owned it so I'm moving

00:08:16.540 quick okay and I go hi I'm hearing about um like I went into a different identity I'm hearing that

00:08:22.660 the house was left with a layer of soot yeah on a variety of things yeah and then i'm trying to say

00:08:28.200 like the little lady was almost confused yeah like i'm hearing about a 450 dollar like i'm hearing 0.97

00:08:33.340 about a discount seems like clearly it should be a full refund plus payment for cleaning services

00:08:38.080 since the primary promise it's not that they did a half good job okay and then what happened what

00:08:44.780 they say okay and then and then i see you or i go i gotta add her okay i gotta add her i try to add

00:08:50.400 you i think it's going to happen really fast because he's not replying i go back he hangs up

00:08:54.800 on me i'm trying to add you okay so so i'm going okay hold on we're calling back we're calling 0.98

00:09:00.600 back if you get a word in you go thank you no yeah i mean or maybe like these cowards you know 0.91

00:09:06.360 nothing people are the most thank you cowards oh and then i called back and i then i got sent to 0.88

00:09:10.860 like oh the mailbox is full a laugh with complaint it was the sound of it was like um the mailbox

00:09:17.700 like no like it was the mailbox is yeah yeah it was him okay the mailbox is full wait more hold

00:09:23.860 on so then what what comes next you go thank you this is so outrageous this is insane okay so then

00:09:30.720 i shoot you screenshot of a text i just i flew into action and texted my father okay okay and

00:09:38.520 you know no pleasantries i write chimney sweep left soot on kate's curtains etc and refund question

00:09:44.560 mark yes and also threaten a bad review on yelp and google if not refunded well beyond beyond

00:09:50.960 yeah okay wait can i tell a story i think it's time okay okay first of all i want to just say

00:09:59.240 i had a feeling this person right person that cleaned the chimney yeah so i called the company 0.95

00:10:04.400 is called wait oh yeah bitch the company is called mr chimney by the way i want to eviscerate them 0.99

00:10:11.700 on Yelp I want to make sure I have the right business because there are 14 million Mr. Chimneys 0.99

00:10:16.020 here's what I'll say what we get this footage of you shitting on them you send the footage over 0.95

00:10:21.640 I go do you want this in the episode no we go live regardless I've been disrespected to the 0.99

00:10:26.440 point of absolute jaw-breaking levels I'm just saying I tell the whole story I'll be very clear

00:10:32.360 they call me today here's your money back I'm still going live with all of this because of

00:10:37.980 how i was treated and i'm gonna get into it now i called them 10 times i'm trying to think about 0.94

00:10:43.160 this i'm trying to think about situations on the 10th time there there are karmic karmic dangers

00:10:48.480 okay and close-up danger right by the way i've considered dropping it entirely because i go

00:10:54.080 i go i mean i want i say names i want to explore this i mean say names freely but

00:10:58.600 fine i won't give the phone number i might i was gonna give them the phone number 0.96

00:11:01.080 i was gonna do the phone number on air people calling like we'll talk about it someone fucking 0.98

00:11:05.480 one of our fucking fans I don't want violence I don't want they're not I know oh my god I called 0.98

00:11:10.120 you okay okay that okay that'll have to be bleeped okay but I called yes yes for privacy 0.99

00:11:21.480 oh I call my lover of 15 years nickname and you just called it to me and just just in the

00:11:27.920 that's amazing and that's like when you actually call someone like your dog's name or you say mom

00:11:32.100 yeah that's cute that's actually amazing it's never happened never happened okay i was so in

00:11:37.180 it right now i'm gonna i'm gonna say right now i called to get my chimney swept i love here here

00:11:44.700 here it all is the guy calls me he's at my front door he's he's a full 30 minutes early

00:11:50.240 and i said oh well you know my partner i said i said oh did you ring the doorbell okay i'm getting

00:11:56.300 too into the forensics it's not important the point is i know here's what's important i felt

00:12:00.860 in my soul run when you were first no no i felt my whole body was flooded i'm not kidding you

00:12:06.360 i'm not kidding you i was like it's fine i don't like him i was like something's off something's

00:12:11.500 off got there let him in i felt something was weird my partner tells me he asked them if they

00:12:20.180 were jewish that's the detail but listen the point is i go and i'm i felt and later my partner

00:12:29.240 remarked i was unusually short with him not rude but just like i wanted it over he was like this

00:12:33.380 chimney hasn't been cleaned for a long time it's gonna cost five hundred dollars i go okay he goes

00:12:39.280 i really suggest for safety you get this sealant for an additional 450 i start going or i can't do

00:12:45.580 the math i came to 900 the point is and everything in me goes don't get the sealant this guy's a 0.97

00:12:49.680 fucking lunatic do not trust him something i go but i'm going safety fires i'm scared you know i 0.98

00:12:54.460 don't know so i go okay sure like yeah i get out of there i go take a shower i'm like i don't want 0.99

00:12:59.660 to be in the same room as him i swear to god i was like get me away from him i come out he's

00:13:04.480 setting up i go oh do you have more drop i had a marvelous chimney sweep a beautiful man who came

00:13:09.640 to my house years ago i couldn't find the information that guy gear so i knew a little 0.97

00:13:14.600 bit i go where's all this motherfucker's gear he has one little drop cloth i go oh do you have 0.97

00:13:19.120 another drop cloth he goes no no it'll be fine what do i know right everything i know so i go i 0.98

00:13:27.940 go that makes me sad because i gotta go okay well he says it's fine like i guess it must be fine 0.98

00:13:32.240 motherfucker doesn't put a drop cloth on my white couch a little on the corner i came with a towel 0.97

00:13:39.360 we came with a towel put a towel on going on i come out i touch a table in my living room and 0.99

00:13:45.920 go like this and my hand is covered in soot there is a soot layer i'm not exaggerating on every

00:13:54.300 surface in my home for example there's like a record player that's underneath a shelf i go like

00:13:59.180 this right soot right there is a notebook in the other room i go like this it's like 9-11 i go in

00:14:05.100 no it's 9-11 it's everywhere i go in the hallway hallway you can't even see the fireplace from here

00:14:10.220 soot on the ground i go oh my god oh my god i go wait wait wait wait wait there's there's soot on 0.99

00:14:18.440 everything this motherfucker has the gold wait he's still there yes and you do the thing there 0.99

00:14:23.640 yes i thought this jack i thought you came home to destruction no he's there and i go wait there's 0.99

00:14:29.920 soot everywhere he he starts going oh okay i'll clean it i'll clean it i think i did know this 0.98

00:14:36.180 he goes over to the wall the wall i'm gonna post the photos there's fucking soot everywhere 0.98

00:14:42.120 soot by the way soot is not dirt i know so i call by the way flash too i call a professional 0.98

00:14:50.040 couch steam clean company they were lovely his name was gary we talked he goes i'm not gonna

00:14:54.960 lie to you soot is the most difficult thing to get out first of all thank you for your honesty

00:15:00.720 secondly second of all i actually think you need not the cleaning specialist of a couch

00:15:08.120 you need a soot cleaning specialist that knows how to get soot out of it like soot is the keyword

00:15:15.060 here this is so crazy okay so okay so many things okay no no it gets better i know this guy so i

00:15:21.060 start by the way keep in mind i don't like him i want him out of my house it's not here yet okay

00:15:25.480 let me just check sorry no no should enjoy your order stop oh my god i'll run and get it okay go

00:15:32.800 go get it i mean you want yours right because while jacqueline's away talk about the ice cream

00:15:36.960 i mean the coffee yeah well i just want to say that i'm making a last minute dinner reservation

00:15:41.240 at osteria mozza one of my favorite restaurants in la because i'm so upset that only a perfect

00:15:47.980 spagliato cocktail and a gorgeous pasta will suffice but my jaw's in so much pain

00:15:54.600 not for them what do you mean you're not supposed to say things during that are oh that's for the 0.96

00:16:00.640 episode no i mean like like i need to hear that shit okay great i love you okay i told you what 0.92

00:16:07.300 you were allowed to talk about while i was gone okay you meant rogue i heard i heard mozza yeah 0.96

00:16:11.640 yeah okay wait but wait wait but i want to give you this detail yeah please which is that

00:16:16.180 do you want a straw no all right okay let me take a sip of this for power

00:16:22.200 so here we go all right i want this guy out of my house so can you appreciate you know what i mean

00:16:29.320 like i wanted him out of my house i didn't want to deal with him and so he starts going i'll clean

00:16:35.140 it but he goes like this i go no no it's everywhere this isn't something right and just

00:16:39.940 and the guy he starts to go I go I need to talk to your supervisor or someone like I can't pay

00:16:46.360 full price for this or he goes it's a dirty job he starts going look at me no no no oh yeah this

00:16:52.820 guy's out of his mind he's just going look at me I mean I'm in there it's a dirty job I'm like

00:16:58.720 well of course it is right and again I've been to this before I've had my chimney swept my house is

00:17:04.460 normal it's like nothing happened so and then he goes no Jacqueline are you ready for this yeah I 0.80

00:17:08.720 don't even know if i told you this oh i do know i'm excited fucking because i come in i know i go 0.66

00:17:13.660 into the other room i was waiting for i go into the other room i come back and i notice in the 0.93

00:17:17.080 other room again the hallway there's soot i go there's soot in the hall i show him the bottom

00:17:21.960 of my foot there's soot all the way in the hall he goes maybe your house is dirty

00:17:26.180 and i looked at him and i went are you kidding me and then he makes it he goes well i go i need

00:17:35.400 to talk to someone I never get angry I'm not raising my voice at him at all he goes outside

00:17:39.720 I start talking to his boss comes back $70 we can take off $70 I laugh I go $70 there's

00:17:47.900 wait let's just stop for a second I hate that you said discount and not full refund I know

00:17:53.980 Jacqueline I know I'm up on the night my job's dislodged because all I'm thinking is why did

00:17:59.140 I let him why didn't I I should what I wish I'd done I said I'm not paying I'm not paying 0.66

00:18:03.020 right and everything's fine okay because i've learned my fucking lesson no right but i'm just

00:18:08.260 i'm just bringing up that point of pain okay so that just to make it lodged for next time never 0.88

00:18:15.160 never let the word discount should never come out of your mouth okay refund refund refund only

00:18:19.520 okay so and not even kate kate kate and additional costs yeah oh i know okay so so this guy on the 0.90

00:18:26.300 phone is fucking awful he's the manager is he on speaker yeah okay they go we can take a hundred 0.91

00:18:33.320 dollars off i go no they go 200 is the most we can do and i just go i mean i again i want it i 0.98

00:18:44.020 want him out i want him out i'm just like get out yeah i was like okay i venmo don't want to get

00:18:50.800 into it wait hold on hold on hold on hold on so you hadn't paid yet kate no i didn't pay them

00:18:57.480 anything jacqueline no so you flew into let me give the money you could have withheld i know

00:19:05.680 you could have said well like like take me to court yeah or oh i wish i'd said i'm not paying

00:19:10.360 and they would say you have to pay and how do you spell that and you put a little emoji of a 0.95

00:19:15.140 of a chimney i know i know you're in art so he's fucking i want him out of my house right so i 0.95

00:19:22.380 memo him seven hundred dollars he leaves i'm talking about maybe 25 seconds later i notice 0.98

00:19:29.820 the curtain i go over i go and then it all i see the cow like it like yeah like it all hits me i

00:19:36.340 see the curtains and i go oh my god like i hadn't seen it i was like blind i was like i immediately

00:19:40.620 call the guy the guy on the phone his manager is so rude is so outrageous is saying i go i go

00:19:49.700 i need this all refunded he goes no he goes um he goes i could send my my cleaning guy to you

00:19:57.180 still hadn't talked to me no okay he goes i i could i could send my cleaning guy to you

00:20:02.520 i go yeah you give me a refund and send the cleaning guy he goes no it's what i give you

00:20:06.080 i'll give you another 250 or the cleaning person no no i want the money back he goes oh so it's

00:20:11.880 not dirty you just want the money back no no no wait wait wait oh yeah okay so so so so i this

00:20:17.340 okay so this sort of thing gets me okay because my heart races and goes when something's like

00:20:25.880 wrong as you know this is why i like to we were talking about like i like to write a nine paragraph

00:20:30.580 email just for my own sake of no of no and not send it necessarily just to make sure that my

00:20:35.700 my argument is is perfect i want to be unimpeachable by the way i need your help because

00:20:39.700 i will be doing that i'm going to send a formal email because you will sort of go with emotion 0.52

00:20:42.820 which has its value okay but i want to be un-fucking-impeachable if i'm gonna you know 0.76

00:20:48.240 what i mean like i want i want to be a i want to be a viper like exactly nothing there's no 0.56

00:20:53.480 you know what i mean it's like so when things happen in an exchange okay where where like

00:20:59.400 tense conversation like this is so almost upsetting to me because you don't necessarily

00:21:05.560 have all the tools in the moment i know it's like literally like rhetoric i was shaking someone can

00:21:10.500 confuse you i know i know and they say something back to you and i'm not a fighter right now i'm

00:21:14.760 like i was shaking like i i was just like yeah and then and then i was like excuse me and he goes

00:21:22.780 my technician said that the house was dirty there were cobwebs there is a and by the way here's

00:21:30.120 in the corner above the living room about there was a hundred percent a cobweb and by the way

00:21:35.660 a cobweb is not soot and by the way this is another impeachable thing okay see this is where

00:21:41.120 i go further than you okay okay you go my house wasn't dirty my house isn't dirty doesn't matter

00:21:45.260 it doesn't matter okay your house can be i know if your house okay had food smeared okay because

00:21:52.120 that's how you like to live on every wall surface and they put soot on top of that yeah they have

00:21:56.960 an issue oh yeah oh yeah take get the soot off of the foot food I've smeared on my wall okay so

00:22:02.340 so okay so so I he goes I'll give you another 250 which means the means I'm getting half off

00:22:10.020 450 off and I go you're comfortable charging me 450 dollars to have Kate I like that that's good

00:22:17.980 Yeah, yeah. To have soot sprayed over my house. I go, your technician did not bother to put drop cloths down, proper drop cloths down. And also, by the way, the sweet, sweet couch cleaning guy, I told him what happened. He goes, oh my God. He said, sounds like he must have somehow had, he said some reference to some, like something's supposed to be outside. It was like, it was like the vacuum was like spraying everything.

00:22:39.860 yeah like like sounds like he didn't yeah exactly he touched the thing inside yeah it's like

00:22:44.300 something i was like yeah the x yes and i just go oh god so so i have the i have the half off 0.78

00:22:50.760 my partner and i i don't want to give actually them credit they fucking spring into action 0.85

00:22:56.000 they start cleaning hard we are on all four by the way ruined i mean we were like by the way 0.92

00:23:01.080 hours me like remembering that like you have a partner that i can actually i don't have to like

00:23:07.500 be your whatever it's funny yeah like because i'm like in an old mindset or something

00:23:12.880 that you have to protect me yeah that i have to like husband you yeah totally no i need like

00:23:18.680 four husbands but like so we're cleaning we're cleaning i mean it's just devastating no no i

00:23:25.800 have tons and with every trying no with every new witness with every new cloth it's like i can't

00:23:31.120 believe this happened and anyway so i start calling so so here i'll just jump ahead and say

00:23:35.960 that the company is called pro star so mr chimney like contracts out this company pro star okay and

00:23:43.340 so the people that came to my actual house and did the wrecking was pro star they're like in

00:23:47.360 cahoots i don't know how it works and did you know yeah now did did whenever you looked at yelp

00:23:53.360 because i know you like to look at yelp for stuff you were looking at mr chimney's yelp

00:23:56.880 yeah yeah yeah and no but here's do they disclose that they are pro star before it's okay no no no

00:24:03.160 okay no that's why i go right when i paid i go wait i'm sorry pro star i thought it was mr chimney

00:24:07.280 he's like oh well yeah like it's the same or whatever it was like i was like okay what wait

00:24:12.380 have you talked to mr chimney oh my god let's get into it sweetheart okay mr chimney is who i'm

00:24:17.920 almost the most mad at and i call mr chimney and i'm like hi i call with you and they go yes i see

00:24:25.480 that you had an appointment today did it i go yes i'm confused pro someone from pro star came and

00:24:31.180 they're like oh yeah that's our whatever the hell i explained to this person what happened

00:24:34.880 they go okay can you send me pictures i go and you said i'm talking to the first nice person

00:24:40.080 i've talked to right yeah is that the person that you said that no that was yesterday someone else

00:24:43.140 got it so i start i send all these pictures they go okay um we're gonna get back to you i go okay

00:24:48.660 click i would like to tell you something no one from mr chimney ever called me back and i called

00:24:55.300 wait for it nine times and on the 10th time the manager happened to pick up interesting was

00:25:03.380 remorseless did not say I'm sorry I explained everything she didn't say sorry she didn't say

00:25:07.500 anything I said I'm trying to understand what happened in my house how did this happen she

00:25:12.180 goes we gave you the half refund and that's all we're going to be able to do and of course I go

00:25:17.820 I'll take you to small claims court did you say that yeah good she goes okay oh really she goes

00:25:23.200 say I got some small claims no yeah I go well I'm going I'm going to eviscerate your business

00:25:28.640 online wait did you say those words yes okay I'm really I mean I'm she said she said okay and I go

00:25:33.780 okay this will be fun and I hung up wait you said yeah fun good look at me and by the way I want to

00:25:41.040 just take it take a minute with this I called nine times and I spoke to a few people there there was

00:25:46.820 one guy named Roger I spoke to Roger was the best he was the only one that had true remorse he saw

00:25:50.760 the photos because they were in my file he goes oh my god he goes i'm so sorry i said i know i go

00:25:55.400 listen i was like i just want the decent thing which is a refund i don't get into disputes like

00:25:59.780 this like i've never been treated this way by a business like i just want my money back i need

00:26:04.720 like i need a okay okay so i start googling right everywhere and sorry i just want to flash forward

00:26:11.280 and say one thing i had my i had a housekeeper come and clean my house yesterday after i had

00:26:16.420 done we've done a lot of the cleaning and i was like wow the house looks clean that's what's so

00:26:20.080 confusing right we scrub so hard we go right the house never looked better so clean then you go

00:26:24.840 like this the soot is still it's like impossible it's it's micro it's so fine it's in my by the 0.80

00:26:30.980 way i'm like cool so just instant cancer like i'm not fucking kidding right okay so several things 0.70

00:26:37.780 here one of the key ways to think about refunds for me right and it always comes up it's like 0.80

00:26:43.680 because i i i don't like to be cheap i don't like to whatever right the question is okay

00:26:52.180 when do you deserve a refund right and the question becomes true question what was i paying

00:26:58.840 for my chimney cleaned okay okay right right no but but but there's see this is what happened

00:27:05.860 with the boys from philly okay okay so i'm saying what i go i go what is a hotel it is what is the

00:27:12.680 most basic thing it offers a room on a room a locked door a place you can lay your head okay

00:27:19.340 close your eyes and not and that had not happened so the primary deep deep layer fundamental root

00:27:25.260 yeah okay is it copyright so so i just want to see this is where i i get i can feel it rising

00:27:31.820 in me in excitement okay this is where i would want to take to take to the computer by the way

00:27:35.740 what i want to do too i want to craft along i start looking pro star and mr chimney it's so

00:27:41.840 confusing i don't want to leave a negative review on the wrong business so i'm looking for i'm going

00:27:45.800 wait i think this is not them i called someone else to go are you pro star this you do chimney

00:27:49.960 they go no we don't do chimney sweeping so i'm trying to find because on the website and then

00:27:54.940 i got excited because they have a website and he goes follow us and i go wait do you wait wait

00:27:59.240 sorry sorry sorry no no i'm distracted because i'm intellectually lit up from within over the

00:28:04.140 question of of what deserves a refund and what is the fundamental promise right so so i'm just

00:28:09.160 seeing like i have a few ways to go a few angles okay okay okay the first angle i'm seeing well

00:28:15.520 the first one was what is it because you said to clean my chimney right so here here's what i need

00:28:20.160 to know why do we clean chimneys what's what's up so so just just just so i need this information 0.94

00:28:25.160 so so i don't fully fucking know but it's like you're burning shit in there it builds up and 0.86

00:28:30.680 it can become a fire hazard so it's a safety issue okay it's primarily a safety issue and 0.93

00:28:36.800 the people that lived in my house before me i talked to them they go we use the chimney in the

00:28:40.620 fireplace we use the fireplace all the time and they go okay this is good information so it has

00:28:44.960 been used used recently but like there's buildup in there because they've been using it so i was

00:28:50.100 like before i light a fire in there i gotta get it clean it's california and i mean yeah you know

00:28:54.700 so it's safety yeah okay interesting now i'm like literally i'm like cool i have to move now

00:29:01.260 well i want to there's there's a few angles i mean there's a lot going on here okay there's you

00:29:07.600 and your mental state that i'd like to address okay and let's just maybe handle that separately

00:29:13.960 so you're fine you're fine okay okay okay there's that everything's fine my jaw has been dislocated

00:29:20.560 due to the stress of the chimney so that is a narrative okay okay and unfortunately for you

00:29:26.040 and this is where i'll call no i don't know this is the caroline maze by the way yeah and by the

00:29:29.940 way i almost wanted to drop it entirely right i actually thought and by the way i go you know

00:29:34.820 what today i go because also i'm so like i don't even like someone out there like hating me you 0.98

00:29:42.580 know what i mean this guy be like this fucking bitch won't like i don't even want that like i'm 0.99

00:29:46.760 just like yeah i don't want to deal with this like like this is fucked up but you know like 0.99

00:29:51.080 i don't want to deal with it anymore so that's a road i'm still right so that's considering so 0.91

00:29:55.540 a huge concept right don't pay twice right now i'm not saying that's that's right here okay i know i

00:30:01.780 know but don't pay twice is like you know okay so now now now you're gonna like are you gonna give

00:30:06.520 over your life you have to you have to pose these questions right if your life is about if your time

00:30:11.080 if you want to spend a week i know on this project i know okay we're at the end best case scenario

00:30:15.980 all is as you know it's like a quest okay like a disruption in the status quo and you want to put

00:30:22.540 your world back together and you're forced to go on a quest and then you learn something new okay

00:30:26.020 you know what i mean like it's like it's like or you know i mean it's already been like oh kate

00:30:35.260 can't do anything because of she's on all fours for the because of the chimney okay for the last

00:30:39.860 couple days right yesterday you've already given up yesterday yesterday again i paid my i told you

00:30:46.620 this i already said this was spiraling into like total chaos because the soot poisoning

00:30:50.100 my cleaning lady came cleaned i told her what happened i was like because again the house

00:30:54.600 looks clean i go she's gonna come over and go what she mopped we cleaned she mopped

00:31:02.580 still yeah it's almost like you have to like in places that i don't even think wood floors no i

00:31:07.940 think she might have gotten it up and if you went right then at that moment but then in clean still 0.95

00:31:12.160 then like yeah that's what i'm imagining okay so it's in my fucking lungs a thousand percent 0.51

00:31:17.920 i'm not worried about that okay great because like go to an airport by the campfire yeah exactly 0.93

00:31:24.400 exactly like for a good buddy go on it go on an airplane or sit by the air the smoke

00:31:29.460 okay okay i'm just saying like like you know again dr gregor the body can take all manner of

00:31:37.240 oh i thought that yesterday you freed me with that good all manner of insult and injury

00:31:41.300 and he's like you know i need to like flow through the pain of it oh but like yeah but i'm so i'm

00:31:48.640 you know i'm so i'm unwilling to buy into like this whole jaw thing for the jaw thing is irritating

00:31:58.320 me i don't mean like actually i mean like it's bumping for me okay the jaw separate my jaw has

00:32:02.860 been ruined because of the okay you have this it's like technically no you're responsible for

00:32:08.200 your own management of your jaw okay you know what i'm saying like that's like that's like

00:32:14.400 damages i must have slept really crazy last night i took because that's the night i go i need to

00:32:19.200 sleep because the previous night i was up in the night about the chimney why did i let him leave

00:32:21.920 why did i let him leave i should have refused payment why did i let him leave

00:32:24.180 last night i took a 10 milligram cbd gummy it was like lsd for like six minutes it was like too much

00:32:33.840 and i was i was 10 10 milligram what 10 no p no cbd and i go there had to have been thc in there

00:32:42.000 because i was like this is drugs yeah and i was like doing the thing which to me is so

00:32:48.440 because i don't get like super super high yeah like generally but whenever that happens there's

00:32:54.740 the thing of like when you mutter like like i was in bed with my partner and i went oh god like it

00:33:02.640 was like i didn't even mean to say it i was like oh no and they were like what and it's all like

00:33:06.860 social stuff it's like i think i was disrespectful earlier at the thing because i did it or i didn't

00:33:11.060 are on the call i didn't express like it's like social paranoia stuff anxieties about right i

00:33:16.160 wasn't polite or i was i didn't do this enough or or or um like literally like we had our interview

00:33:21.340 yeah i was like oh god at the interview i didn't do this or like i didn't i showed up to the

00:33:28.160 interview so messy i'm like there's something you're resisting you're protecting us or yourself

00:33:32.620 from saying like the specific and i which i understand that we showed up post-workout

00:33:37.760 oh is that what you're protecting no no no i mean like i didn't do blah blah blah like 0.94

00:33:42.320 i was just curious like no no i literally was like and this is me because i'm so fucking 0.67

00:33:46.440 conservative i'm like fucking nancy reagan yeah i was like an interview i should have like 0.82

00:33:51.380 but i was like yeah because you didn't have like a blazer on you know what i mean like 0.96

00:33:55.340 i showed up i was like i should have been like buttoned up like for the interview like

00:34:01.540 i have a podcast you know no like yeah yeah like i was worried it was like a sign of disrespect

00:34:06.180 i mean yeah yeah anyway but i start well who cares we'll talk about our my relationship to the

00:34:11.940 to the press no no but like i want to analyze that in full because that's very interesting

00:34:15.900 we'll have to do it another time but the cbd 10 milligram i will say slept like a log but it was

00:34:20.000 like but the last like seven minutes of being awake i was like this is kind of pleasant i was

00:34:23.880 like but i am like high oh you know what i dreamt three tsunamis i had a full tsunami nightmare

00:34:32.380 i've had those and we're racing like like it like one continuous dream where and another one's

00:34:40.840 coming and then and yet another one and going okay the first one didn't grabbing onto like

00:34:45.860 a beam or wall yeah bracing and then seeing it moving through the windows oh and then it was

00:34:51.480 like this like like you know head above water yeah okay like and wondering if the next one

00:34:56.580 i wonder it was i wonder it was um we have to look up what tsunami or ocean or wave is

00:35:05.820 i mean traditionally i think it's emotion of course

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00:38:13.860 As you know, we love Cozy Earth here on the pod. 1.00

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00:41:00.240 okay wait wait I already feel a little better because I'm also feeling like so so but listen

00:41:08.980 okay but I just want to say today I pulled over to the side of the road because I'm a 0.92

00:41:13.020 fucking safe driver and i was like can't the chimney conversation while i'm driving it's too 0.97

00:41:16.060 dangerous so i moved over pulled over to the side of the road spoke to the absolute abomination 0.99

00:41:21.000 of this manager allegedly mr chimney who couldn't even say sorry and i was physically shaking my

00:41:27.880 hand was like like hitting like the end button i was like like my adrenals were shot yeah shaking

00:41:34.600 from rage oh it's kind of a good one no it's good to release it no shaking from rage it's it's it's

00:41:41.540 i actually find it i tend to find it exciting because i'm like fairly access to my radio i'm

00:41:47.420 calling ktla i'm like i want to go news i want front page news i want to like because okay so

00:41:53.600 so there's two things happen to me first part i go i'm gonna eviscerate them okay and i think it's 0.92

00:42:00.200 i want to separate for you okay god why am i such a fucking drag okay i'm just like i'm like what am 0.89

00:42:06.320 like you know you're a fucking therapist okay but i'm like but i'm like i think you can ask for 0.95

00:42:11.620 what's right and but also not release it no that wasn't what i was gonna be okay i think you can 0.98

00:42:18.400 you can ask for what's right without identifying as a victim i don't feel like a when you're

00:42:25.300 talking about i need to call it like you're talking about kate like perhaps no ktla or

00:42:30.840 whatever i'm like perhaps their news should be angled elsewhere well of course yeah no but i

00:42:35.840 just mean like right like what you're like what happened to me i mean there is a i let the 0.97

00:42:40.600 motherfucker in my house when i knew listen oh by the way and here's the here's the larger i mean 0.99

00:42:45.680 getting fucked right like getting fucked by you know by being aware having soot sprayed in the 1.00

00:42:52.820 home by a by a fucking man a random man like i'm not i'm not saying it's good okay i'm saying that 1.00

00:43:00.940 this is what i'm saying that like if you were if you were emotionless about it and didn't even give 0.99

00:43:05.420 of shit okay if you truly had no emotion you're a different person oh well well obviously there 0.90

00:43:12.460 is cleaning right like cleaning is a thing this happens well first of all i googled immediately 0.99

00:43:18.780 okay as you know and i sent you screen grabs of dust management is chimney sweep 101 on reddit

00:43:26.380 someone okay and i go yes see that's it and then several people oh that's really unacceptable at

00:43:31.560 bare minimum the business people who knew like at my company we would the one time it happened

00:43:36.120 we paid for the cleaning and yeah of course of course it's a refund it's not you know it's not

00:43:41.660 what is a discount right like a discount is like so that they're gonna make a little less profit

00:43:46.960 you see what i'm saying anyway a discount would have been like oh like you know i'm trying to

00:43:52.780 imagine what a discount inconvenience like oh your technician was an hour and a half late

00:43:56.380 i had to do this and this you could maybe push push push for a discount there i wouldn't

00:44:01.880 but someone maybe could you didn't it's like so you know it'd be like you know i'm gonna give you

00:44:07.260 an oil change for a hundred bucks i'm gonna fill your car and then they knock no so they fill the

00:44:13.300 oil correctly and then spill oil everywhere else in the engine yeah yeah yeah i filled your oil

00:44:18.280 okay okay it's like it's like what do you think i should do this is what i need to know so this

00:44:24.040 what i'm trying to tell you okay i'm just trying okay you're you're forced how am i not a victim

00:44:28.640 with this because i don't i don't feel like a victim like in my life that's not my go-to right

00:44:34.220 but this feel this felt really like mean because also they cast me but they did like maybe your

00:44:41.620 house is dirty oh yeah look at me i'm dirty here's what i'm trying to like i'm trying to

00:44:45.300 some people feel they okay like power right they feel they only have a right to ask for the refund

00:44:51.220 if they can prove to themselves and the other that they have been victimized, okay?

00:44:56.080 In which case then they have to perform their suffering, okay, for themselves and everyone

00:45:00.920 else, right?

00:45:02.700 Or you could not do that and it's still correct for them to give you the, do you see, this

00:45:07.540 is what I'm trying to say where it's unimpeachable, okay?

00:45:09.800 Okay, you buy an egg, they give you a toy dinosaur, right?

00:45:14.200 You don't go back, when I want to eat an egg and a toy dinosaur is there instead, I just,

00:45:19.640 i get really stressed out and all my muscles tense and then i have a thing or i paid for an

00:45:24.280 egg you gave me a toy dinosaur okay so what should i do then so i'm saying i'm saying you don't have

00:45:29.680 to to get sympathy understanding like just just be happy like like you don't need to do it i am

00:45:35.660 happy to get the thing but i just want my money back i think okay i don't want them to regret

00:45:44.740 okay because this this podcast is a conversation right and i can i can yeah you yeah which i'll do

00:45:52.580 sometimes right but my like what would you do it might not antagonism my i would i would ask

00:46:00.780 i would have to ask seriously i would have to ask over and over again is this worth my time

00:46:05.600 do i value my own time do i value my own life okay because here's the thing kate okay i'll walk

00:46:10.740 away here's the thing like i'll walk away 450 or like it's not the money no i know this is what

00:46:17.800 i'm trying to say and listen to where the voice goes okay the voice goes into child okay so you're

00:46:22.920 obviously there's something here all right so you know why can't why is it so upsetting to me

00:46:29.080 do you think somebody else would just be like oh why is it so upsetting to me oh i know why let's

00:46:34.980 hear it i think it's just like home home destruction

00:46:41.860 it's like it's like deep you know what i mean it's like violating it's like

00:46:47.580 trying to think of it like if i had taken my car to someone and like 0.90

00:46:50.820 let's say they had like fucked up like it's less loaded like it's like 0.93

00:46:56.340 right it's like has anyone ever fucked anything up in your home 0.96

00:47:00.880 before let's think about that no and you own your home okay we can cut that if you like okay 0.87

00:47:09.300 but i'm just saying like i mean people own homes we don't have to act like that yeah yeah like you

00:47:13.680 know what i mean it's tiny yeah yeah yeah yeah like see this is the danger anytime you do like

00:47:18.040 for years i rent okay i know you know but anyway everything changes point is kate i think we have

00:47:26.080 a huge we have a huge reveal here also like the first time you've been a i'm the boss home owner

00:47:31.180 yeah i had something something happened yeah yeah totally okay this is the big reveal okay

00:47:36.220 so this is the first time you're actually experiencing that other than what is this 0.89

00:47:41.740 similar to i would say this is similar to someone fucking up you know for you someone's fucking up 0.83

00:47:47.680 something else that is yours entirely like you know your body or something i think you'd be 0.96

00:47:52.260 pretty pissed someone fucked up your hair you know what I mean like you know but yeah there's 0.88

00:47:59.600 a couple there's a couple things here there's there's one to take a lot of the pain out of this 1.00

00:48:05.640 we need a solution for the soot okay and this is what I was saying yesterday I was trying to focus

00:48:11.700 on we need a soot cleaner okay there's someone who who that's what they do I know it okay so

00:48:23.180 that's number one right if right now you came home wait why is this do you don't want that

00:48:29.620 why have you put no time towards that why have you put no time I hired a cleaning I had no but

00:48:33.200 that's what I'm telling you soot cleaner I'm gonna look up soot cleaner well you could you

00:48:37.740 You can purposefully Google, like, poorly, you know what I'm saying, to mock me.

00:48:44.220 Oh, anti-soot.

00:48:45.620 Anti-Creo soot liquid.

00:48:47.720 How do professionals clean soot off the walls?

00:48:51.400 Because if it's really, what I'm saying, so I'm just saying it's, yeah, there are people

00:48:57.800 who are professionally going after fires, you know what I mean?

00:49:01.100 Like, you need the correct thing.

00:49:03.340 so once you know you have a plan that you will get your home back okay right by the way if my

00:49:11.240 home were just restored i wouldn't care so there there's an issue so so yeah that's why we need

00:49:16.600 that in motion i need the soap cleaning in motion and then there's the question of why do you want

00:49:21.500 to spend your time on this because you obviously do because like last night you know you're like

00:49:26.640 i want to check out from this to do this i get it remember what when i i mean i get wanting to

00:49:31.520 do the thing that's not worth your time as i might i might check out i might actually just stop i

00:49:35.220 might just end it i think i think it's like i then got excited because i threatened all this stuff

00:49:40.940 of like i'm going to eviscerate you online and stuff and like what and i just don't do that it's

00:49:44.820 like let's talk about that too okay because this is a pretty interesting topic right okay i can't

00:49:49.780 even find the visit evisceration eviscerate to me i was like i'm gonna write a negative review

00:49:54.620 online with photographs look what this i mean that that is what our our society is set up right

00:50:00.900 is yelp and photographs and unfortunately i can't find i don't think you should use the power of your

00:50:07.120 podcast okay like to me there's something there that's that's actually like wrong okay yeah it's

00:50:14.780 like it's like well what about the regular person without a podcast what do they get to do when

00:50:20.640 their house is covered with sweat they get to write a yelp review and put up photos so i guess

00:50:24.100 what i'm saying i want the you should find them easily on yelp or google i would literally there's

00:50:28.860 16,000 Mr. Chimneys and there's 60,000

00:50:30.900 pro stars. You're president of the United States,

00:50:32.920 okay, and there's nowhere to put your

00:50:34.660 there's no Yelp review. So you go,

00:50:36.760 I'm going to tell America.

00:50:38.560 See what I'm saying? It's an extreme example.

00:50:40.880 Right, right, right. But it's like

00:50:42.180 I know it's the right thing to do is to leave it.

00:50:45.160 And also, okay, like just imagine

00:50:46.720 the movie where, okay, where

00:50:48.660 you know, you eviscerate them, okay, like

00:50:50.640 cut to, you know, 1.00

00:50:52.880 like it's just a movie, like where it's a fucking, 0.99

00:50:54.580 you know, crash or whatever. 0.99

00:50:56.880 Okay, vignettes around Los Angeles.

00:50:58.860 And it's like, you know, it's destruction that's not going to get you anything.

00:51:03.680 And, you know, you have to.

00:51:07.220 They've taken enough.

00:51:10.500 And these poor listeners.

00:51:13.200 No, but it's an interesting question.

00:51:15.960 Like, well, here you go.

00:51:17.640 Ready? 0.98

00:51:18.100 Want to, like, make it fucking deep? 0.98

00:51:19.880 What? 0.97

00:51:20.800 I mean, you, like, I was thinking about it.

00:51:22.540 I was like, you know, you're just, you're coming at me.

00:51:25.080 You want to be witnessed in your pain, right?

00:51:28.860 And it's like, it's not, you're not gonna be satisfied until you've been fully witnessed

00:51:31.980 for how wrong you've been, wronged you've been, right?

00:51:35.460 Yeah.

00:51:36.360 And I get that.

00:51:37.260 Like, I completely get that, right?

00:51:39.020 I guess I have like a fantasy of like.

00:51:40.620 Yeah, let's hear it. 1.00

00:51:41.340 The people at Mr. Chimney and ProStar being like, oh shit. 1.00

00:51:45.860 We fucked. 1.00

00:51:46.540 We fucked with the wrong bitch. 1.00

00:51:47.280 We fucked with the wrong bitch. 1.00

00:51:49.120 Okay, tell me more. 1.00

00:51:50.040 Let's get into this.

00:51:50.620 Okay, so, yeah.

00:51:51.660 So my hope is, yeah, Mr. Chimney at corporate, their little meeting on Mondays, they go,

00:51:55.920 the kate berlant file just give her the 450 back because our phones are ringing off the hook

00:52:00.980 and people are calling in saying justice for kate berlant or they're calling in they're saying 1.00

00:52:06.580 hi just so you know i was going to book your services but then i heard about how mistreated

00:52:11.280 somebody was by your company and i will not be going to you with my chimney business

00:52:16.800 okay and they go oh my god i mean you you want um what is it you want you want

00:52:24.920 well by the way literally them say sorry not even suffering i don't want them to go to business i

00:52:29.740 don't want them to like no i just want them to say sorry i want them to do the right thing which

00:52:34.580 is to refund me right and just say sorry i guess yeah i don't know what like if they just said

00:52:40.680 oh my god we're so sorry like i'd be like all right right like i would never in a million years

00:52:47.200 like somebody else this happens they're refunded they're still going on google this happened right

00:52:53.360 and yes i was refunded but there's soot everywhere if they refunded me said sorry i'm not doing that 0.87

00:52:58.660 shit i don't care shit happens whatever say you're sorry call me back no of course 0.93

00:53:07.640 something about soot something about soot i'm already so my therapist is going to be all over 1.00

00:53:13.720 soot from a young in point of view oh yeah i mean why soot's bothering you more than yeah soot

00:53:21.920 like i don't know for some reason this one's not feeling that this is that's that's not i'm not

00:53:27.660 locating it in the archetypal so let me wrap up a few threads okay yeah in closing the soot files

00:53:37.460 the soot file i'm closing the soot file i'm gonna go home if people think they're gonna

00:53:42.000 they're gonna get in good with kate by trying to take action and find this company

00:53:45.640 no it's disgusting and if any of you do it i will revoke your membership no no why kate it's a waste 0.99

00:53:52.880 of their fucking time it's with your fucking time it's it's it's it's not good okay it's so i don't 0.99

00:53:58.480 even know why it's not good i'll spend the next week thinking about it this will be my this will 0.99

00:54:01.600 be my soot so i can't i know it's not good i can't even call again are you joking of course you can

00:54:05.880 call oh you do see a difference between thousands and thousands of listeners being encouraged can i

00:54:11.260 call on air and just say i'm so upset why don't we do it now what let's try to handle it again

00:54:18.620 together okay let me because i i want to see wait where's mr chimney okay wait why don't you let me 0.98

00:54:25.000 talk okay i'm sorry the number you have they blocked me okay oh bitch you wait they blocked me 0.98

00:54:35.020 that's amazing see now i'm getting they blocked me okay my heart's panning all right 0.99

00:54:42.380 give me the number oh here

00:54:46.600 i'm so excited but don't pipe in like i'm not gonna pipe in

00:54:57.220 I'm not going to pipe in.

00:55:03.080 Interesting.

00:55:03.800 A call going through.

00:55:12.600 I still make it nervous.

00:55:14.000 Do you think they think it's me?

00:55:16.580 No, because in theory, if they blocked you, they're not getting the call, right?

00:55:20.400 Should we get my dad's advice?

00:55:21.920 What?

00:55:22.520 I know.

00:55:22.900 Call him next.

00:55:25.220 He will have advice.

00:55:26.200 i got this before with these people when you finish recording you're gonna do a message

00:55:32.160 should i they're not gonna no just call back again call back immediately again

00:55:36.780 like some you know sometimes you have to 0.96

00:55:41.300 just say i got fucked this time sometimes it's me sometimes it's someone else 1.00

00:55:47.120 fucker fucking happens getting fucked happens right 1.00

00:55:50.380 I mean, you've been. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm calling about the property. I just want to make everything right here. So are you are you up to date on everything that's going on? 1.00

00:56:16.260 I will have to pull up the information here, ma'am.

00:56:20.800 Okay, sure.

00:56:22.380 It is, I'll say it, it's the street.

00:56:28.940 How about the number?

00:56:31.300 Is this number associated with...

00:56:34.640 The number I'm calling from? No.

00:56:37.320 The appointment? Okay.

00:56:39.640 I can give you that number if you need.

00:56:40.900 Please give me a moment, ma'am.

00:56:42.180 Sure.

00:56:42.420 the name is should be caper land

00:56:47.340 immediately on hold i haven't even heard i haven't even heard their their so i'm gonna

00:56:55.860 try a different approach than i normally would okay great what are you what i don't even know

00:56:58.680 your approach this is exciting i don't either i'm gonna it's gonna be intuitive i think i might

00:57:04.380 even just say like you could just say my friend's really upset i'm just i mean friend is so okay my

00:57:17.840 my employee

00:57:18.640 this is amazing i haven't heard this i called them nine times yeah

00:57:25.460 i called it nine times in two days it's a sacred sacred number nine

00:57:33.140 your time is better spent is such an interesting thing because like we just had this yesterday

00:57:42.480 about something where i wanted to fly into something that yeah yeah yeah it's like why

00:57:48.360 is it that i don't want to do the things i'm gonna release it i can feel it well this is

00:57:52.120 A Carolyn Mace thing, M-Y-S-S, okay, is you need to witness and then get patted on the shoulder and then you move on.

00:57:58.280 Hello?

00:58:03.720 I thought they were, I mean, they blocked me.

00:58:08.420 Isn't that interesting?

00:58:10.520 Yeah.

00:58:11.600 What do you think about that?

00:58:15.060 You could just say we're releasing this and your company is not going to do well.

00:58:19.480 What's your, um, what did you, Zelle?

00:58:21.580 What, Vemma? 0.97

00:58:22.100 What'd you do? 0.99

00:58:22.660 Zell.

00:58:23.500 Zell.

00:58:23.760 So do they, so they in theory have your, they could tell you back.

00:58:27.840 Oh, you know what would be the real phone call to make?

00:58:31.220 Yeah.

00:58:31.940 The manager.

00:58:33.700 The man.

00:58:36.640 The man.

00:58:37.180 Who is this?

00:58:37.940 This is Mr. Chimney.

00:58:39.380 It's all so confusing.

00:58:40.540 Right.

00:58:40.940 I think, I think we do one more call.

00:58:42.540 You have to call him because he's the one that really did the damage.

00:58:46.240 i mean these people are they they you know it's all they're all interconnected but they're technically

00:58:53.440 at the top yeah this is the top technically buck stops with them yeah and they said no

00:58:57.660 the best we can do is yeah they both did thank you so much for patience no problem

00:59:04.280 you there i guess so uh i see here the latest update that you see

00:59:14.120 there's a refund request for the service yep

00:59:22.300 um so um has the refund gone through um we don't have further information

00:59:35.460 it's just already been escalated to our managing team um oh so who do i need to call

00:59:42.680 So, who do I call for the management team?

00:59:46.900 You haven't received a call from the management team yet.

00:59:49.740 No, unfortunately.

00:59:53.280 So, I have ID sent that follow-up now, and follow-up on the refund request and the complaint.

01:00:03.280 I've forwarded it to the management team.

01:00:06.140 And the management team is Mr. Chimney?

01:00:14.560 Mr. Chimney.

01:00:16.180 Say two days, no call back.

01:00:19.800 So you, I'm sorry, did you re-up?

01:00:22.800 You sent them something again or you mean it's already been escalated and basically...

01:00:29.140 It has already been escalated.

01:00:31.000 Right.

01:00:31.360 Because we don't have further access.

01:00:37.500 We don't have further access on our end.

01:00:39.820 The management team is already handling this.

01:00:42.520 So the best I can do is to send you a follow-up and request for me just a callback for this.

01:00:48.320 And we sincerely appreciate your patience.

01:00:50.360 Yeah, that would be great.

01:00:53.160 And what about, is there a phone number for Mr. Chimney HQ that I could just call?

01:00:59.460 Because I'm more than happy to just call.

01:01:01.360 Oh, this is the number you can call now.

01:01:04.160 I have to get the photos.

01:01:06.080 Okay, like I've mentioned, the issue's already been escalated.

01:01:13.120 Oh, right.

01:01:13.660 I was wondering if you knew the business name.

01:01:16.700 What?

01:01:18.540 All right.

01:01:19.200 Thank you.

01:01:20.920 Thank you.

01:01:21.560 Have a good one.

01:01:22.280 Take care.

01:01:23.600 Yeah, it's just, you know, it's whatever.

01:01:25.220 So I would argue the person who you have the, I'm looking up, I don't know, too much.

01:01:31.940 No, I'm just sort of, it's been escalated and you're waiting on a callback, right?

01:01:36.620 Yeah.

01:01:36.860 And that's the latest?

01:01:37.640 Yeah, two days of no, they're never going to call me.

01:01:39.320 They block my number.

01:01:40.680 At this point, we're like, we're getting to like.

01:01:43.040 I have one more call.

01:01:44.340 All right.

01:01:45.040 For you to make.

01:01:46.360 Because you want to make it right?

01:01:47.760 Mm-hmm.

01:01:48.540 This is the guy who told me, hey, my technician says your house may have been dirty.

01:01:53.500 This is the guy, the guy who said to me, he also said to me, I want you to be happy.

01:01:58.420 I said, I can't be happy.

01:02:00.260 there's soot all over my house is this a text yeah i'm looking this is on the phone

01:02:04.320 and he said send me the photos and i did send the photos and he looked at them and he was like

01:02:08.420 and then and then he was one who said i can't do more than um the discount i've given you this is

01:02:14.420 his number you can say you can say it's what happened i'm your tenant i'm your tenant with

01:02:22.280 him i don't think i've been threatened him with that yeah but he's he's the real he's kind of

01:02:26.640 the real villain to me i forgot who he is he's pro star he's this he's the manager of the guy

01:02:35.600 who came to my house is there anything is there anything that more can be done i really want you

01:02:40.220 to call him this is the this is not it's from my phone what that's from it's my phone why is that

01:02:47.800 a problem okay sure go on speaker oh i see what you're saying i'm going to leave oh you wrote i'm

01:02:56.080 going to leave a scathing review unless i have the remainder refunded i paid 450 to have my house

01:03:01.400 ruined yeah yeah this is a nightmare you're right it's on every surface there's okay you've given

01:03:10.040 him an erotic photo of the bottom of your foot just like full foot full 100 foot okay okay he's

01:03:19.840 already sold that online i think if you call him and you go real sweet is there anything we can do

01:03:25.880 Well, I will never say those words.

01:03:27.720 That is like...

01:03:28.420 You tell me what I'm worth.

01:03:29.620 I mean, you know what I mean?

01:03:30.680 Like, hey, is there anything you can do?

01:03:32.140 That's like the opposite of what I am.

01:03:34.180 I'm going to go with full transparency.

01:03:36.400 Okay, you say I'm her friend, whatever?

01:03:38.520 I got to just feel it.

01:03:39.800 I got to feel it.

01:03:40.260 Go speaker.

01:03:41.020 I hold it close.

01:03:42.720 I'm sorry.

01:03:43.600 You can't leave a message because the person you called has a voicemail box that hasn't

01:03:47.960 been set up yet.

01:03:49.400 Goodbye.

01:03:50.200 Yeah, he blocked me too.

01:03:52.120 Fine, I'll try it.

01:03:53.800 Great.

01:03:54.080 they're running the business on like burners by the way something is weird here like something is

01:04:00.280 weird you're not i'm not gonna call it oh sorry sorry okay this is good my palms are sweaty now

01:04:07.200 i want peace now i want peace well i want to change this is the thing i'm like i want to explore

01:04:12.840 i'd like the money back but i want peace

01:04:14.580 okay hold on um this is about i'm sorry you can't leave a message because the person you

01:04:26.260 called has a voicemail box that's what happened when i tried to call for you so here's here's

01:04:31.420 where it's at okay yeah it's over okay something out of outside of your control happened you've

01:04:40.100 lost 450 on on another 400 to clean it yeah like something happened to you that you're gonna have

01:04:45.860 to pay for it happens right yeah it's also a part of so it happens okay it's it's getting 0.89

01:04:55.880 fucked by businesses is a part of life right getting getting back like it's literally a part

01:05:01.420 of life you know what i really saw in this you hear these stories of people who are in legal

01:05:05.080 battles for like 4 000 years with companies and they go it's not about the money anymore i know

01:05:09.620 it's about the principle right and that you got to let it go well because also take that if it's

01:05:14.440 about justice okay or it's about whatever certainly take that and bring it elsewhere

01:05:19.560 releasing i feel it okay i'm getting it out okay because like i could get into an argument you know

01:05:26.200 on the street with someone like yeah it's like where are you putting what you feel lost no no

01:05:34.180 i feel i feel because you know what i just felt i felt compassion for the for the world and for

01:05:39.380 humanity and how people you know and that was i was thinking about someone driving in their car

01:05:44.240 right and we all had this experience someone flips you off or something and you and it wasn't

01:05:49.060 really deserved or something and you're like that person is going through it right right or like i 0.96

01:05:54.060 was on the freeway the other day and this person was driving like a fucking maniac and came up 0.96

01:05:57.260 behind me so fast dangerous flashing brights flashing brights trying to intimidate me or 0.98

01:06:00.900 you know i mean i was like it's really scary that person is going through something right they had

01:06:05.940 their chimney they were just they were betrayed by their chimney the molestation is passed down

01:06:10.660 you know what i mean so it's like and i know what i was trying to say you know what i thought about

01:06:14.460 because because on the way here yeah i flipped someone off

01:06:18.120 but that's why i feel bad because then i carry the anger you know i mean it's like i don't want

01:06:27.760 to flip people off i won't be angry the chimney the chimney man wins again if i'm angry well sure

01:06:35.040 but but also where i thought you were headed okay i'm disappointed you're not now i'm gonna sell him

01:06:40.420 a thousand dollars well that's always fun that'd be fine should i sell him a dollar and say

01:06:47.180 i'm gonna give you a dollar every day

01:06:50.160 no because no i don't want to get yeah i want but but here's what i'm trying to say okay

01:06:57.820 here's what i'm trying to say the the point you were didn't realize you were making that that is

01:07:02.700 that you should be making right okay is is like like what i'm when i'm just saying it's not good

01:07:09.480 okay it's not good okay it's like wanton it's wanton destruction okay so let's just say the

01:07:17.160 chimney sweep guy like i mean i was bringing up lame is like i'm just like but never saw it it's

01:07:24.840 like like i don't know have you ever done a bad job like and run with anything he actually left

01:07:31.440 his cleaning wipes behind he ran so fast okay so what i'm just saying is the it's not about the

01:07:38.380 money anymore if you know you wanting to destroy the business all that right i don't even want to

01:07:44.560 destroy them like if i could push a button have them have to shutter tomorrow i wouldn't you know

01:07:49.640 what i mean right like and yet you but and yet but i want them to rue the day yeah and you and

01:07:55.980 you've invited our listeners okay to show their love of cape berlant you've given them no we've

01:08:01.660 given our listeners no other way how about empower our listeners to send me healing energy no go to

01:08:08.800 the ten dollar uh uh tier okay see what i'm saying right you're giving them a way to love you that

01:08:14.760 does nothing for me okay no but i'm just saying it's wanton destruction okay of like you're right

01:08:21.680 of the un like just saying like I don't I basically you know well here's where really

01:08:26.380 go you know where I'm at I kind of think I okay I'm just trying to decide how I feel about this

01:08:33.340 I think it's true I'm kind of against bad reviews okay okay I go I go well that makes sense

01:08:42.740 like you know like of businesses right like I'm kind of like like no it depends but but I do kind

01:08:50.300 of think you know let them have a chance to right the ship kind of right it's like anyway point is

01:08:56.920 whatever it doesn't matter the point is wants and destruction okay an owner of business might be a 1.00

01:09:00.980 piece of shit okay a piece of shit okay who doesn't deserve whatever but like i got a child 0.99

01:09:06.660 kate i know so like i don't want their business to shutter right i i really don't and there's 1.00

01:09:12.560 the thing about bringing chaos to their business bringing phone calls to their business this is

01:09:15.980 none of this is good like i had a fantasy ringing they look down i had a fantasy a car hits them as

01:09:21.100 a result i'm just saying oh you won't know i don't want that yeah right so you're i have wanting yeah

01:09:25.340 yeah okay i hear that it's careless because i had a fantasy where i was like i'm gonna do the thing

01:09:28.880 where bots you get like a million bots to call a number you know i'm gonna flood the line so no

01:09:33.780 new business can get in you know it's like i'm not actually gonna do that i don't even know how

01:09:38.220 to do that but i just mean like it's interesting it's an interesting channel for me because i don't

01:09:42.540 I truly I don't wish ill on people I don't wish people would they get what they like I'm not like

01:09:49.120 that yeah this chimney situation it's like Mr. Chimney it's like it's like

01:09:54.200 no I said Mr. Chimney yesterday as the wrong word to something I was like oh yeah Mr. Chimney I was

01:10:02.400 like it like just came out instead of saying the word like tree I mean what's really going on here

01:10:07.720 right is um what is the oh i know what you should do this is like a technique but like

01:10:12.500 what is the okay what are the core emotions and then what is the unreal the unreal expectation 0.96

01:10:19.360 so you go you go you know i'm angry that i'm mad that whatever you get that get all that shit out 0.63

01:10:25.900 i think you've done it basically right what is the underlying unreal unrealistic expectation 0.99

01:10:31.140 unreasonable expectation what is it so i'm mad that i got fucked yeah right yeah what where is 0.93

01:10:39.540 the unrealistic expectation in there i should never get fucked probably right when so so here's 0.97

01:10:48.040 so you recognize that and you mourn that as a human that's the human condition right 0.99

01:10:52.800 yeah someone comes to your house they spray soot you have to clean it up shit happens like 0.93

01:10:58.480 right so it's like mourn it feel it like like it's not saying like you're right get on your 0.99

01:11:04.380 knees and rail to the gods why do why must people get fucked right yeah like oh my god why must 0.92

01:11:12.740 people get why do you get fucked over imagine if it were something serious this is not a serious 0.99

01:11:16.200 matter like that that's what's scary i thought about that today i was like oh my god this is 0.91

01:11:20.400 this is not even serious imagine somebody oh my god no right right right the core human thing is

01:11:27.280 that like we what are the core what are the core things here we don't control everything we can't 1.00

01:11:31.980 control everything yeah sometimes shit happens it's at the result of someone being an asshole 0.99

01:11:37.040 yeah and you have to pay other people or whatever yeah like nine calls no response yeah and so i 0.98

01:11:42.040 think um okay here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna release it i'm really gonna release it like

01:11:46.480 arguably like just if they had a great business going and great lives and a great they would

01:11:54.180 just refund it they were just refunding it okay that's a good point so it's kind of like oh i i

01:12:00.980 got in bed with someone desperate someone on their last job here's the funniest doesn't have all the

01:12:05.500 equipment here's the funniest thing to me this is interesting it's my fault and here's why

01:12:12.420 the recommendation okay was the chimney guy what do you mean which is a different company than mr

01:12:20.100 chimney well when you kept saying the chimney guy to me how am i supposed to know that no no

01:12:25.160 there's a company called the chimney guy yeah yeah kate you're like texting me lowercase just

01:12:29.460 like well the chimney guy i should i should i'm like which chimney guy okay you see what i'm saying

01:12:35.200 i got confused someone goes the chimney guy i go chimney guy mr chimney so i call mr chimney

01:12:40.760 i'm supposed to call the chimney guy so here's the thing you called a not you called it i got

01:12:45.060 the wrong business i got the wrong business so listen i'm gonna i'm gonna put this to rest

01:12:49.240 because I don't want to live like this anymore

01:12:50.500 and it's not who I am

01:12:52.360 it's not who I am

01:12:53.740 point is you've changed

01:12:55.220 this is really helpful

01:12:57.460 and you know what I'm going to do

01:12:58.720 I'm releasing it

01:13:01.720 so it happens

01:13:02.980 we have a new shirt now

01:13:04.860 feel better

01:13:06.600 thank you I love you

01:13:09.580 I love you

01:13:19.240 You

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - March 24, 2026

Soot Happens

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