Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - The Big Switch

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:28.220 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:01:05.080 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:06.540 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:07.640 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:12.380 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:14.160 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:15.000 This is our hell.

00:01:15.860 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:18.140 This is POOG.

00:01:19.560 Today's topic, loosely speaking, eyebrow lamination.

00:01:23.080 The mall.

00:01:23.640 The mall.

00:01:24.180 Speck.

00:01:25.540 hey oh wow good morning welcome to morning poog you believe it's another morning poog

00:01:33.720 morning poog you can hear it in my voice i went to bed at 2 a.m wait what is that comes to shiver

00:01:41.800 when she's gone i don't know winds of change are set through the i don't know it's a musical

00:01:49.100 It's gotta be a musical. I don't know. Morning poop. Morning poop. Oh, Pippin. Thank you. I did

00:01:55.260 actually a second ago. I did one of these. Yeah, I know in the morning. Sometimes it feels really

00:02:02.240 it just really goes with the morning to have kind of a gravelly cough. It was exciting when I coughed.

00:02:08.260 No, I know you mean what do I have in the morning? Well, my voice is as already clearly morning poog.

00:02:13.880 you know there's some kind of there's some kind of density around the throat structure some feeling

00:02:18.660 it's like it's all pushing forward i can hear it do you hear mine yeah ever so slightly wait

00:02:23.460 keep going i of course can't hear myself do the equipment i have no idea what i sound like on the

00:02:29.900 podcast but um you sound buttery always um i didn't you often speak of your eyes opening much

00:02:37.560 like a doll's in the morning fluttering okay fluttering open it's an image that's clearly

00:02:41.860 important for you and i've always went i've thought about it in recent days um you know when

00:02:45.880 what is kate describing does she believe that there's something different about the way i wake

00:02:50.940 up yeah or do you believe that you are describing the human condition and that's just the example

00:02:55.120 you're using i think everyone i picture kind of everyone has a doll flitter okay although i

00:02:59.040 in the do you do this i in the middle of the night like do you ever do like eyes boom shooting awake

00:03:05.100 with horror because that's huge for me i am a big eyes shooting awake and horror person right and

00:03:10.720 usually it's always tied i think i've i'm pretty good at not dwelling too much on like mistakes of

00:03:16.880 the past or like right i don't think i dwell too deeply around like oh that thing i said right but

00:03:21.120 i will say that i what i release it in the night is often what will happen and a lot of people you

00:03:26.960 know are saying this now as things open up as we go back to being social right it's really it is

00:03:31.700 scary though because i have found myself there's been a couple eyes shooting awake in the middle 1.00

00:03:36.100 of the night you fucking idiot really right about something i said yeah yeah and then i have to 0.98

00:03:40.700 release it in the night and i even sometimes would be like i'll be like release oh my god 1.00

00:03:45.660 because i know i've had a couple things where i'm like all right it'll happen i'll wake up and i go

00:03:51.060 and this is pre this is just my whole life this happens that i shoot awake in horror and i go

00:03:55.520 oh god oh the oh god is yeah and then we're playing the the footage the audio of what i said

00:04:02.380 right and then and then i you release in the night release it in the night you have that

00:04:06.980 you're good at that what releasing well i think it's part of it's your anxiety you've learned

00:04:12.020 to you have to release right because otherwise it's gonna choke you it's gonna choke you no

00:04:17.480 you gotta get it out so there's a swiftness to you release okay and you do it sometimes

00:04:22.180 you do it sometimes before i'm ready to release together like i wasn't ready to not know what

00:04:28.240 the song was from that musical you know what i mean you're like don't know okay on we go

00:04:32.500 fair enough i get it wait uh i mean i i get that as a as a thing but it's just an example but i

00:04:38.900 you do it in general like you're like oh god like do you think that's bad like you'll you'll you'll

00:04:44.920 ask you'll pose the question and then be like no it's fine what no of course wait what was i gonna

00:04:50.320 damn it i lost it there was something about release that i was gonna hang on hang on in the

00:04:55.960 night dead of night horror waking up what have i done hang on give me a second here i'm still in 0.99

00:05:01.160 dream state that's another thing while you're thinking i'm so sleepy i feel the dream state

00:05:05.880 carries me i can sprint like literal uh so like if i wake up somewhere and i want to get to the

00:05:11.160 bed i can go into an all-out sprint but still maintaining my sleep okay so i'll literally run

00:05:17.260 when you wake up so like if i like fell asleep on the couch by accident okay and i want to get

00:05:22.500 to the bed yeah okay i'm like able to like fly this is sounding um like very common like as if

00:05:29.060 I'm positioning it as something of my own. But I'm telling you, there have been times in my life

00:05:34.200 where I've had to like, I swear I've like run a mile asleep. What? Yeah. And I because I'm sort

00:05:40.800 of still the dream state now as we speak. OK, it's it's hard for me to pull the examples. You

00:05:46.180 see, this is we should actually do a bit of sort of, you know, Jungian sort of waking waking dream.

00:05:52.980 I would love to do free association right now. I was thinking about what you said,

00:05:56.560 what you've said a couple times to people with add sometimes if you're tired you can focus

00:06:00.220 more or like finally able to work like i feel right now that really i've been ignoring emails

00:06:05.740 from my accountant for four years but today she of course yesterday was like please advise you

00:06:12.580 know because i just ignore because part of me just thinks like with the with that kind of stuff

00:06:16.520 like taxes i'm like will it go it'll go away right like there is like a deep part of me that believes

00:06:22.040 it's completely regressing to the point of like if you can't if you can't see them they can't see

00:06:26.280 you yes like i'm like if i ignore the email did the email really get sent no yeah i remember i

00:06:32.700 had a friend who would kind of do this with her car getting towed oh and then no it was almost

00:06:38.860 like it didn't get towed you're like maybe it was just a matter of like so we could enjoy the rest

00:06:45.920 of the evening you know what i mean which i believe in entirely like join the evening if

00:06:49.500 your car's towed that sounds hard i mean i can't i've never had my car towed wow not to brag well

00:06:55.560 in New York, it's a rite of passage to head over to the West Side Highway. I got to do it all the

00:07:01.400 time. I just saw signs, particularly the ones with the twinkly stars. I mean, they're illegible to

00:07:06.800 even. What signs? Oh, the parking signs in New York City. And then there's the ones with little

00:07:11.340 like moon and stars on them. And those are the ones. Oh, those are so cute. I know. Those are

00:07:15.940 the ones that screwed me. OK, because it was the condition where they were acting like, you know,

00:07:20.960 let's say you know that 12 30 on a saturday night they're trying to act like that's um

00:07:26.420 not still saturday we know it is they're like sundays 12 to 12 30 and they mean

00:07:32.820 goddamn midnight of saturday night baby okay yeah i really don't think the day should start

00:07:39.580 as new i think this 12 situation is is lunacy i think it should start uh i think i think it 0.91

00:07:46.180 should turn over i think it should turn over like i think 3 30 would be fair uh-huh no that sounds

00:07:51.420 right honestly that sounds like okay if you're not in bed by 3 30 okay yeah like then yeah you

00:07:57.200 don't get the experience of sort of closing your eyes and opening your eyes on a new day

00:08:00.780 do you see anything like if you want that you got to get in there anyway it's a little idea i have

00:08:05.480 for the city you know my big idea of the big switch would yeah as i call the big switch which 0.99

00:08:11.420 would be this global campaign to make day night and night day okay okay one of the stupidest 0.91

00:08:19.480 things i've ever thought funny because you laugh whatever i think about it no funny because it's 0.98

00:08:25.480 not the stupidest thing you've ever thought it's maybe your number one notion global campaign

00:08:29.620 to make day night and night day okay we should i mean i'm happy to push it on the big switch 0.99

00:08:35.560 no no no the big switch is okay okay kate and theater are laughing their asses off because

00:08:44.760 it's funny however i am not laughing because i'm raring to go and discussing how we make this

00:08:49.720 happen like i'm dead serious okay of like completely useless reorganizations of society

00:08:55.080 okay so you don't even care no i think it's cool i'm picturing like something about okay i'm

00:09:00.920 actually here's where i'm going and this is another plan for the city okay this is and this 0.99

00:09:05.100 is again sort of new york focused yeah but obviously they they are they are fools they 0.98

00:09:10.580 are fools that that stores um in new york are open what 10 to 6 or something it's called 0.99

00:09:17.200 1 p.m to midnight okay is when you should be open okay or or evening alone who i mean i guess in 0.98

00:09:25.460 new york there are like these day shoppers that have their thing why the hell are stores open

00:09:30.900 during the hours that people go to work why the hell can't i shop after dinner are you kidding

00:09:36.620 that by the way that's actually i would shop all night okay i would shop all night so it should

00:09:43.180 i mean our lives should be our lives should be work okay go out to dinner shop all night and

00:09:50.820 then head out to the stores imagine heading out to the stores okay okay and the cocktails would

00:09:57.640 be flowing whatever no that is brilliant night shopping there should be a full night shopping

00:10:02.960 at least a block where everyone who realizes this is the only way it gets in like it should be like

00:10:08.820 a block yeah or a mall like they could start there and then they'd realize like well this

00:10:12.540 is how it should just be like i mean i used to like i mean part of this is ad and not managing

00:10:18.480 time but i used to like head to time square okay to get a little shopping done before an event

00:10:23.460 because it was the only thing that was open in the city yeah okay okay because forever 21 was

00:10:30.240 open all night oh it's like the only place the only place that you could go if you had some

00:10:35.460 kind of thing early the next morning that you needed you know technical options flammable gown

00:10:41.140 for no yes yes okay but or six t-shirts like you know what i mean like you have nothing like they

00:10:46.960 have technically everything you might think like the quality might be not good yeah but they

00:10:51.320 technically have no totally any shirt you've dreamt of they have right well jacqueline and i

00:10:57.960 we were at the mall yesterday and it's my first time being god to a mall and all of pandemic

00:11:01.960 and jacqueline i very luxuriously went and got lunch at the mall and it was this i said as it

00:11:07.520 happened i was like we have to talk about this on poo because it was so funny to me that we were

00:11:11.300 in the parking structure leaving and we were talking about there was just this moment of us

00:11:15.580 you know like in the middle of the day in the middle of the week having like this kind of

00:11:21.560 extravagant lunch and being like unburdened by children and families sorry but like it really

00:11:28.800 was like this remarkable moment and then jack was leaving the parking structure and there was like

00:11:34.320 a family there there was like this family loading into a car like oh yeah the car is sitting here

00:11:40.220 and there's mom and dad and like the grandparents or whatever and jack was like oh imagine

00:11:45.420 i feel like i was because you were like you were like i could never gotta look at that or something

00:11:50.260 or whatever it was my realization was like and i knew this would get you was like the specific

00:11:55.220 details okay so like i was like imagine trying to unfold one of those carriages

00:12:00.280 it wasn't like oh my god imagine the burden of like or just the you know the responsibility like

00:12:06.140 giving it your life up for your family right which is like hey go for it like right the big

00:12:10.940 you know i might get knocked up one day hell totally totally but it was so funny because

00:12:15.200 jackan was like i know imagine trying to unsnap like it's like the joint i'm imagining the joint

00:12:19.800 i'm specifically imagining the joint of like a folded joint you know much like this but like a

00:12:24.380 folded joint with one of those plastic where it's like this is what i imagined okay you know you're

00:12:28.640 trying to open a joint okay of two legs of a carriage for example okay and right at the corner

00:12:33.500 of that joint yeah you know is a button that you press down to release it to open okay and so you're

00:12:39.900 pressing the button down so hard okay trying to that torque with your weak thumb and then

00:12:44.260 okay and then this is what i said this was my i think stroke of genius okay i go to this is the

00:12:49.340 scene that flew out of my head in my mind okay is one one member of the partnership going no no no

00:12:55.280 you actually you have to press it down and then press it in like close the joint to release the

00:13:00.640 joint yeah like you're pulling it out all the sacrifice of like having children and devoting

00:13:06.080 yourself to like family life like for you it was all it was just about that exchange over the joint

00:13:10.740 like that was the real tragedy was to like imagine like having to unlock that thing yeah i mean the

00:13:15.460 example that i always think of when i think those thoughts is anytime anyone tries to disgrace a

00:13:21.980 lifestyle by referencing details is foolish because the details of any lifestyle choice

00:13:26.640 like those are like so meanwhile when would i joyfully unhook a joint like if it was like

00:13:32.560 if a curtain that was just obscuring the the audience's view of me

00:13:42.000 okay oh boy boy would i apply pressure to that curtain joint and fast oh my god but like so or

00:13:50.360 i think of like you know caring for cats right i've had you know cats non-stop right for my life 0.99

00:13:55.960 and i i hear it constantly this kind of you know yeah oh well i don't want a box of shit in my

00:14:01.660 house etc etc etc and it's like nope like the cats are amazing and therefore like me and chris 0.74

00:14:08.180 always say like a little bit anything we have to do with mabel it's an honor and a privilege okay

00:14:11.760 and so it's like i get it and then i also get like i used to imagine with my old cat like snoozer

00:14:17.500 like because i would like almost like judge the parents like cheering their kids or something at

00:14:21.360 the swim meets yeah and i was just like imagining like well if snoozer was up on that little block

00:14:25.560 okay flip out i'd be like you know what i mean but i wouldn't be i certainly wouldn't pressure

00:14:32.140 her i wouldn't be like you better like you were you lost focus i bonded really hard with the

00:14:38.400 chihuahua last night oh well just saying and then had a complete vision of my life and i was like

00:14:42.340 yeah why not like i will be i had this vision of myself at the airport with my chihuahua well 1.00

00:14:46.420 and that's a great idea for you well by the way this woman really cool woman with her chihuahua 0.99

00:14:50.940 the chihuahua was all over me and she was like wow she really likes you which then made me feel 1.00

00:14:54.340 like the amount of validation i felt like so i felt so loved and so chosen wow and she was like

00:15:00.880 yeah like god yeah and i was like do i take her like do i have to you know do i oh that specific

00:15:06.840 one yeah i just like i need her that's hysterical because like i think like traditionally speaking 0.92

00:15:12.420 like you know dogs take to their owners pretty quick like like so you'd be like this fool like 0.72

00:15:18.740 you know what i mean who thinks like that was the one dog that like looks right faces and comes 0.92

00:15:22.900 running when you call or something like that you know what i mean like you chase that one you steal

00:15:26.200 you ruin lives no we get attached i mean that's the truth of all it's amazing to whom we attach

00:15:31.440 you rise up in courage you know if you and your animal are shivering in the night you know as a

00:15:37.280 storm beats the ceiling whatever and you're terrified and the little dog yowls okay and

00:15:42.900 seems afraid you're comforting it oh love it instead of yourself okay versus you staying in

00:15:48.340 a permanent state of orphan child who's you know terrified of her own death which i understand is

00:15:54.780 a really like back to having kids i think i'm like yeah that's a valid urge is like to like

00:15:59.840 take care of something but because i'm proposing it as a therapeutic psychological object for you

00:16:06.720 i don't think it should be a kid in that case i'm saying it should be a dog or a cat not because

00:16:11.820 they don't deserve you know they can handle the load of being therapeutic for you you know in

00:16:17.340 exchange for you being a guardian of their health and safety you know do people ever i wore like

00:16:21.940 this chihuahua i wanted to squeeze it and i was like oh what if i love it what if i kill it like

00:16:26.120 what if like i wanted to hug it so tight well that's the primary question of my household is

00:16:32.440 i mean every day we wrestle with what if we squeeze her what if we like eat her you know

00:16:37.520 what if we get so excited that we like chop her up and like make a smoothie out of her like totally 1.00

00:16:42.200 the desire to consume i mean cuteness you know lovableness bad for the jaw wait what 1.00

00:16:48.760 just bad for the jaw like when something's cute and you're grinding and clenching oh yeah

00:16:53.200 yes wait can we talk about the jaw stuff after the break no no i don't know where we are i okay

00:17:00.380 i want to talk about okay great no no the mall was huge no but yeah the mall is huge and by the way

00:17:06.540 i like got carried away with defining the joint but i i want to go back to i mean you were really

00:17:11.760 soaking in the not having kids i felt like at the mall big time right yeah because i can you know

00:17:16.840 i have the moments of terror of right just like oh god i should have frozen my eggs you know or

00:17:21.000 you know i mean i'm still you know i'm i'm fine okay yeah but you know i was like quarantine

00:17:26.220 would have been perfect for that but i was like you know it's already so emotional imagine me

00:17:29.680 shot up with like all the hormones screaming in the night like i don't know but right trying to

00:17:34.460 double down that way on quarantine like yeah it's expensive you know all of it but also i mean i'm

00:17:40.240 incredibly knock on wood you know women in my family they're having kids 40 41 42 i mean it's

00:17:44.740 like yeah and again i haven't done the research to know if it's if there's an if that bodes well

00:17:48.600 for me but yeah every now you know the horror creeps in oh no you know my daughter where is

00:17:53.820 she but then yesterday something about i was almost like ready to trade it all up just to

00:17:57.980 be able to go to the mall at like 2 p.m on a wednesday and like we almost got a dragon bowl

00:18:03.140 of my tie like we almost got we almost got a dragon bowl oh yeah we only didn't because like

00:18:08.660 And I don't know what that is.

00:18:09.780 A punch bowl or whatever.

00:18:11.060 Yeah.

00:18:11.200 The punch bowl with two straws.

00:18:12.860 Make it a blah, blah, blah.

00:18:13.880 Make it a dragon bowl for twenty four dollars. 0.65

00:18:16.260 Right.

00:18:16.700 And I was instantly in.

00:18:19.260 OK, I was instantly in.

00:18:20.440 I know.

00:18:21.660 And I was like, do you want that?

00:18:23.880 You know, like I was kind of like, wait, what is what is that?

00:18:26.320 Like I was trying to like suss out if you wanted that because I do like a souvenir glass.

00:18:31.860 I don't think you would have walked out of there with a ceramic dragon bowl. 1.00

00:18:35.920 Fuck. 1.00

00:18:36.360 I think it would have been. 1.00

00:18:37.200 But the 80s, I still want to go back and get it.

00:18:39.580 I want to go back and get it another time.

00:18:41.000 I'm happy to show up anytime. 0.96

00:18:42.500 And also, God, the 80s and 90s, they would give you a damn ceramic thing to leave a restaurant with. 0.90

00:18:50.440 Oh, the 90s and the 80s. 0.95

00:18:52.800 The leftovers.

00:18:54.020 Ceramic is the key.

00:18:55.240 And you said it right there.

00:18:56.260 OK, not the plastic souvenir cup.

00:18:58.340 Excuse me.

00:18:59.280 Why? 0.99

00:19:00.020 Yeah, it's trash. 0.99

00:19:02.980 All right. 0.98

00:19:03.480 We got to go to break.

00:19:04.380 There's so much to discuss.

00:19:05.500 OK, off to break.

00:19:07.200 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:19:14.000 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:19:19.180 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:19:23.180 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:19:24.520 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:19:28.140 So no, I am not your guru.

00:19:31.920 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:19:34.560 I lied to police.

00:19:35.820 I lied to everybody.

00:19:36.580 There were years, writer, where I could not say your name.

00:19:39.840 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:19:42.480 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:19:45.280 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:19:48.640 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:19:51.560 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:19:53.240 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:19:56.160 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:19:59.200 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:20:00.500 This is The Red Weather.

00:20:03.520 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:20:05.980 apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts all right welcome back hi we're back i kind of do

00:20:17.280 want to recount my experience at the lash place the lash and brow place oh my god that's right go

00:20:21.500 i don't know it's kind of exciting right yeah well i was screaming about brow lamination in

00:20:25.960 a previous episode my excitement and my desire right and i told you brow lamination is the one

00:20:30.120 where they permit into flying up your your to operate operate which is my only concern that

00:20:37.240 they're gonna look like you know toy soldiers okay no i i mean i i don't want it to be whatever

00:20:43.180 i still want a naturalness i actually you know what i tried first what to be cheap i thought

00:20:48.340 i'm gonna be the first person and i think i've googled this and that's why i don't think anyone's

00:20:52.340 done it i'm gonna be first person to blow dry my eyebrows okay with a tiny round brush aka a

00:20:58.840 spoolie okay and so i got out my dyson sorry okay did you really oh yeah because here's what i

00:21:04.860 realized again another product reference it's using the solo wave which i love okay and i'm

00:21:09.680 constantly dragging it across my face they sent it to us and it's heaven it's got red light

00:21:13.600 vibration heat wow look at this i think that's it right and and i've been doing it over my eyebrows

00:21:19.340 and i think just because i do the whole area and then i think i noticed that my eyebrows were

00:21:24.520 laying a little flatter okay as if a hair iron had been had been across them okay and so i was

00:21:31.240 like well why are we so afraid okay to apply something from one area to another and i was

00:21:36.680 like okay do i make a tiny blow dryer like you know like the blow dryer attachments i was like

00:21:40.420 do i force it into a tiny hole so it's hot air is coming out of like a tiny hole it's not blowing

00:21:45.300 all over my face but it'd be a lot of for there'd be a lot of air going into a tiny hole i know but

00:21:50.320 I feel like I can manage it.

00:21:51.740 Like blind yourself. 1.00

00:21:52.600 If I was gentle, it'd be like the Theragun. 1.00

00:21:54.040 You just float it in, okay?

00:21:55.480 Float it in.

00:21:56.740 So then I was like, tiny spoolie.

00:21:59.020 Because to me, okay, blow dries, right?

00:22:02.140 Blow dries in the 90s, okay, et cetera.

00:22:04.360 There are those who understood wrist tension

00:22:06.180 and there are those who didn't, right?

00:22:07.600 See, I never did.

00:22:08.340 You need wrist tension in order to,

00:22:09.960 if you're trying to blow something straight, right?

00:22:11.920 And the truth is the great blow dry artists

00:22:14.420 don't need a round brush, okay? 1.00

00:22:16.460 They could use a goddamn comb 1.00

00:22:17.800 because they know how to create the tension in the hair 1.00

00:22:20.280 oh wow you see what I'm saying so I was like I'm the same I get the principles I'm gonna get a

00:22:25.500 spoolie okay I get a spoolie and it's sort of about the torque okay it's about the torque and

00:22:30.500 I was like so I'm gonna create that tension in the eyebrow hairs and I'm gonna give it a shot

00:22:36.680 I gave it a shot I was heavily moisturized in advance so as the hot air was blowing across my

00:22:41.480 face I was safe and you know pending me getting a better prototype together it did not work okay

00:22:48.260 and so yeah i headed it i made an appointment i headed in and um you headed into an eyebrow

00:22:53.600 an eyebrow place with intentions to and i went in with the intention of brow elimination

00:22:58.480 i had read on the site something like if you use you know retinoids they're like your skin is

00:23:05.240 going to be too thin are you using retinoids yeah i think so i feel like betrayed like we

00:23:11.020 haven't talked because that retinol is like a huge question mark in my life i've told you 17

00:23:14.540 to 18 times apostrophe that i got from apostrophe some online delivery thing not ringing a bell

00:23:21.420 well i know it's not ringing a bell but the bell was rang it's all okay i know it's a brand yeah

00:23:28.720 and i know it's not lodged in there but here's what i'm saying i remember i i sent you the

00:23:32.520 pictures because i was like i had to send them pictures and it was a real wake-up call taking

00:23:36.420 close-up photos of your own face okay i'm spinning i've never heard any of this i've lost all

00:23:41.480 consciousness apostrophe is like this site that you go on hearing it for the first time continue

00:23:47.920 you're really something okay so apostrophe go on the site put in your concerns and then a

00:23:54.780 dermatologist you know gives you a you know personalized recommendation whatever and they

00:23:59.660 can write a script for like tretinoin or whatever the fuck it's called i'm not sure okay and then

00:24:04.640 they um send out a dosed thing it's just a cream that has like whatever some level of retinol in

00:24:11.120 it's i'm slowly something's floating to the surface like maybe i've heard this before but

00:24:15.660 it's it's barely there i can't tell if it's something floating to the surface or it's just

00:24:19.620 having just listened to speak all right it's the old question of uh right is the information coming

00:24:24.280 in or is it rising up or is it rising up is it rising to meet to meet what's coming in well i

00:24:32.740 would argue it's both so hang on so i need to know yes so just for the record you're using retinoid

00:24:38.820 every day speak memory i am familiar with vladimir navakoff's i've never read

00:24:45.940 okay but no i was pausing for dramatic effect okay i was plating it for you what i was about

00:24:50.680 to say was what did you ask me you said are you using it every night using retinoids daily and i

00:24:55.820 said or i was going to say why do you think i'm so intense about spf oh my how many years go how

00:25:02.580 many years now well give it maybe it'll float up from your stomach okay into your brain but

00:25:07.640 only a couple months okay this is something okay good see did you see my my fear that i was too

00:25:11.920 late yes i can join you oh you can join me see because i use sbf whatever the retinol thing i'm

00:25:18.420 so scared it's really overwhelming i i need to do the research i've heard like oh it's a secret to

00:25:22.860 anti-aging it's a secret to all that but then i also hear the thin skin people i've heard people

00:25:27.480 say the skin's myth oh my god i googled it this let me tell you my my brow experience because it

00:25:33.540 relates to the retinol unless you cannot go there now because you're too consumed with the retinol

00:25:39.180 question where your eyes are going to be sort of floating away during the brows i can i can focus

00:25:44.060 on the brows i can focus on the brows all right so i go in with intentions of brow elimination i

00:25:48.580 see on the site that it's a they're like but if you use like retinoids you know you can't do this

00:25:53.720 procedure they're like do you i'm like no okay because i always assume i always assume like

00:25:59.560 everyone's being overly cautious too careful yeah yeah you like test a small part on your elbow 0.67

00:26:04.760 like yeah no thanks make sure to test a small patch well small how much goddamn time do you

00:26:10.860 think i have and like patience like i didn't go to cvs at 3 a.m to get hair dye because i was

00:26:18.180 looking for a slow solution that required patience and thinking imagine just your like showing your

00:26:23.960 arm you just have like a swatch of tests like who's swatching up their arm to test different

00:26:29.200 products i had to test the nair i had to test the blah blah on an inconspicuous area it's like 0.89

00:26:35.400 no and so i always trust if you're in goddamn cvs okay you've been through the legal rigmarole 0.85

00:26:41.460 yeah where i'm like i i should be able to eat this okay yeah like you saw me taste the face mask 0.98

00:26:48.440 and you know screamed i think i did see you and um i i was like you know they force feed

00:26:53.800 rabbits or whatever they don't of course clean beauty um but you know i'll be fine right i always

00:27:00.820 jump to the rabbits and then decide i'll be fine but are you attached to like rabbits oh like in

00:27:05.780 the beauty industry no no just just as an image like certain animals carry like like emotional

00:27:11.260 weight you know like interesting rabbits you know i realized the other day yeah i'm really afraid of

00:27:16.200 alligators like alligators actually make me scared like in this way that feels very like

00:27:20.640 see but i kind of seek out images of alligators to feel scared totally and i had this thing where

00:27:25.400 i was like it's just like a past life thing like was i an alligator you know yeah yeah well i could

00:27:30.580 certainly do something to a family member i can certainly see you in the woods uh or in the

00:27:35.980 marshland or whatever yeah i can see your eyes huge for me i could see you yeah on your belly

00:27:42.280 but i'm also like is it just because i watched adaptation so many times like that movie is so

00:27:47.220 part of me so i'm like and there's you know an incredible marshland forgotten dreams i mean i

00:27:53.280 mean that could have brought it into all right but alligators i was watching this alligator i

00:27:56.640 got really scared it was like on my little phone and i got scared a big one or a small one it was

00:28:01.020 a big one and the sounds it was making i was like that's scary was it a reels was it a reels

00:28:06.500 that kind of reels it was like alligator i knew it i knew it i knew that if no i just

00:28:11.400 no wait i think i did see a reels involving like oh no no i don't know but the point is like i'm

00:28:16.480 like where are you seeing alligator footage we're talking about instagram reels it's like tiktok

00:28:21.340 but it's on instagram it's it's a new thing and it's sweeping the nation at least in my home okay

00:28:26.360 we're like we literally have passed the physical phone back and forth like chris being like you 0.92

00:28:31.780 gotta see this skateboard artist like shit like that we're like oh look at this guy doing back 0.67

00:28:36.780 flips the real like it's 2000 or like it's 1999 internet right now because of reels in our home 0.97

00:28:44.240 like it's literally like it's like I remember my friend Deirdre talking about like when her and her

00:28:47.780 her and her husband like were like typing into YouTube funny videos as a search like they were

00:28:53.320 like they were like they were like I don't know what to search like just like funny videos they

00:28:57.480 searched those words but wait so I was like where is Kate seeing alligator footage she's not one of

00:29:01.960 these people it's like watching that it's obvious I was like it's real it's real it's real it caught

00:29:06.000 her eye it was and like how did it know but wait wait I'm sorry I took us away oh I was thinking

00:29:10.900 about rabbits yeah but rabbits are important but keep going so so i go in and i'm i i have

00:29:15.520 ignored the thing right and i go in and because i'm like we'll feel it out in there and she's

00:29:21.280 like can i i need to clean them up and shape them a little bit you know before i laminate whatever

00:29:24.980 i'm like yeah yeah and then i'm like screaming not too much not too much not too thin okay

00:29:30.240 because i'm just we're all traumatized again waxing well you know i tolerate both of those 0.99

00:29:35.720 you know pretty well she grabs the um spool of thread holy shit and i was like oh fuck she's 0.97

00:29:42.680 like i'm gonna do some threading to clean it up is setting just literally thread well any thread 0.97

00:29:47.720 apparently can you believe you can just literally it was like um it was like what's the brand

00:29:52.480 i'm searching for the brand picture what what cartoon is it where the little mice have spools

00:29:56.640 of thread i think it must be cinderella right where they're creating the dress cinderella of

00:30:01.600 course yeah i'm picturing just like like a classic cinderella spool of thread and someone just takes

00:30:08.460 it to your face it's unbelievable no i couldn't it was it was it was thrilling it was it was

00:30:12.880 exciting it was poetic okay to see her reach for a tiny little spool of white thread just like the

00:30:17.880 kind you'd see in your own home okay so i go and i thought of theta okay our producer editor right

00:30:23.560 because theta recently mentioned something about threading and i i was like oh my god you do that

00:30:28.540 the courage okay because threading really kills it it hurts to me what is the thread doing once

00:30:35.020 and for all are you ready are you ready straight yes okay sure so i'm like is it chopping it okay

00:30:41.680 i'll just let you finish all right so so well i enjoy the questions it's sort of fun i mean i

00:30:46.560 don't know truly but i know like imagine if two threads got wound against each other tightly and

00:30:52.720 suddenly near your eyebrow and it happened to grab one of your eyebrow hairs right all right okay so

00:30:58.040 imagine someone twisting to imagine holding two pieces of thread let's say okay in your fingers

00:31:03.320 taut okay and wiggling your fingertips back and forth twisting twisting twisting yeah okay the

00:31:09.680 twisting motion grabs it whoa and then i was kind of fake okay but real too it was like it was crazy

00:31:22.540 to experience that no it's i was so confused it's grabbing it it's grabbing a bunch i guess it's

00:31:27.880 grabbing anything kind of in the realm the line of the thread right there's sort of grabbing it

00:31:33.480 in a kind of very tight like i think you know um what's the word like precise fashion you know

00:31:39.860 what i'm saying i think and so it's so it's it's like it's kind of like tweezing you know it's it's

00:31:45.220 like tweezing multiple hairs at once instead of like slapping on wax and i think you can go more

00:31:50.780 targeted okay i guess is what i would say with threading okay so you can get to a little area

00:31:54.740 like so it's a productivity model okay it's tweezing faster it's tweezing faster and more

00:31:59.940 okay and so that that's my that's the sense of it so she goes in and i i'm dying i'm wondering

00:32:05.840 like i might have to tell her to stop okay i warn her this is a panic i feel i go my eyes always

00:32:11.220 tear i said don't worry i'm okay okay i'm not crying over here okay my eyes always they fill

00:32:16.000 up and tear and i give this warning because i hate when they like suddenly see a tear rolling

00:32:20.300 out of my eye assume you're like crying out of pain yeah yeah yes okay and then so i give the

00:32:24.440 warning every time and then so are you are you okay you're like a lot's coming up from my past

00:32:29.380 yeah i told you yeah like now you're shaming me and like i do get this feeling this happens to me

00:32:37.040 with waxing and it it's obviously psychological because it happened to me on the way to the store

00:32:41.100 when i started to imagine being waxing i started to feel it this like weird full sensation in the

00:32:45.160 eyes where i feel like i can only tolerate waxing or anything else if i'm pressing down on my own

00:32:49.020 eyeballs creating pressure what i don't know it's this weird feeling but anyway i'm not getting

00:32:54.940 anything from you on it but i'm so scared of being blinded yeah so well all right sorry sorry just

00:33:02.180 okay so stop stop i have okay here's a poop first i have to pee wow is this crazy have i ever

00:33:07.420 interrupted a recording to pee yeah yeah yeah no go jacklyn finish wow i don't know if i can 0.63

00:33:15.020 knowing that you are suffering okay you think you think this is fun for me okay for you to be

00:33:20.000 in pain while i spew my my brows okay no really so so but she's thread but so you were you were

00:33:27.980 okay she threads me then it's like okay so you you want um so you're here for you know brow

00:33:32.240 elimination yes she goes are you using retinol she goes your skin seems really thin from the

00:33:38.260 cream okay and we can't do brow elimination because it might cause you to break out and

00:33:43.400 you know you don't want to do that before a photo shoot tomorrow or whatever okay and i'm always

00:33:48.240 like let's do it okay i'm always like yeah it's okay let's do it you know what i mean but i was

00:33:52.400 like all right let me listen to her let me just try to listen to her but i didn't want to walk

00:33:55.520 out of the store without a profound change you know what i'm saying yeah once you're in there

00:33:59.080 once you walk into an establishment thinking you're getting a profound change and then you're

00:34:02.420 like leaving with like something mild have you ever been at a um like spa or facial and they're

00:34:07.720 like your skin's a little burned so we don't want to like do anything but like hydrate hell

00:34:11.600 they try to like soften it for you anyway so no they go no they go but we can tint and i'm like

00:34:18.560 okay okay and they're like they're like it'll look fuller because you have these blonde hairs

00:34:24.620 see on the edge and if those are tinted they'll look fuller i'm like okay that makes sense to me

00:34:30.680 i'm like yes do it oh yeah i'm like not too dark not too dark okay yeah natural natural they're

00:34:37.640 like only one shade darker than it is you know they do it and i said wow i said wow okay i had

00:34:43.340 thicker brows and your brows look great i've done a brow tint it's great and then i paid and i still

00:34:49.140 didn't feel enough transformation so i said what i started looking feverishly at the spa menu and

00:34:54.120 i go what about a lash lift oh and then i got one and i thought i was going blind during it

00:34:59.120 yes i could because i felt burning i couldn't tolerate that i'm so scared of being blinded

00:35:03.780 She said she said she said it's a gel. So it's not watery. So so it's not going to get in your

00:35:07.960 eyes like it's just and then I feel burning on my literal eyeballs. And I started to imagine if I

00:35:14.020 went blind because of this or my irises were completely discolored. And I was just like and

00:35:19.740 yet I am too afraid to speak up because I'm afraid they're going to rip it off early and then I'm not

00:35:25.000 going to get the full beauty treatment. Do you see that? How long did the lash lift take? How many

00:35:29.740 minutes i think it was like it's like good 20 minutes of lying there with your eyes closed

00:35:33.960 you can't open it that sounds stressful and she kept like checking in on me all right should we

00:35:37.920 go to break yeah i'm very back this is rider strong and i have a new podcast called the red

00:35:46.080 weather it was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea in 1995 my neighbor and a

00:35:54.300 trainer disappeared from a commune it was hard to wrap your head around it was nature and trees

00:35:59.220 and praying and drugs.

00:36:01.060 So no, I am not your guru.

00:36:04.840 And back then, I lied to my parents,

00:36:07.480 I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:36:09.720 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:36:12.700 I've decided to go back to my hometown

00:36:14.220 in Northern California, interview my friends, family,

00:36:16.780 talk to police, journalists, whomever I can

00:36:18.960 to try to find out what actually happened.

00:36:21.560 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess

00:36:23.480 over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:36:25.880 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:36:28.900 I'll teach you sons of bitches. Come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:36:32.160 Boom. Boom. This is The Red Weather. 1.00

00:36:36.460 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 0.98

00:36:47.640 I was wondering, goddamn, look at me. I'm worried I'm going to go blind and I'm not speaking up, right? 0.97

00:36:53.240 The simple read is just like, the beauty industry has got us by the balls. 0.97

00:36:58.380 Okay. And it's like, but really it's like, no, because they was like, no, it's like you went in for transformation and you're like, I can leave with my life intact. That's not what I came for. I came for transformation. Suddenly like to leave with, you know, like, oh, I'm alive is like, is no treat at all. Right.

00:37:13.200 you mean you want to you want to face some kind of I want transformation transformation and so

00:37:19.040 leaving safe yeah leaving safe like leaving like unchanged but safe is like not attractive enough

00:37:26.440 yeah it leaves me to stay there and then the desire to be changed by shopping right by going

00:37:32.500 even to the grocery store or whatever or going to the beauty supply shop going in because you yearn

00:37:37.200 to be more beautiful than ever and leaving with a little cream in a you know in a container right 0.99

00:37:42.320 And I was thinking, fuck, what is that? 0.97

00:37:44.280 We go in and I'm like, what do we do when we because you rarely leave changed, right? 0.99

00:37:49.340 I mean, like maybe if you get a high pigment lipstick and you've tried it on the store,

00:37:53.180 you're like, OK, you know, like you're seeing a new vision, right?

00:37:55.920 But but you go in there wanting transformation and you leave with promise of transformation

00:37:59.900 in six to eight weeks. 0.88

00:38:01.360 Ninety percent of women saw a, you know, minor increase in hydration compared to using no

00:38:07.640 product at all and baking their skin.

00:38:09.840 no wanting to be transformed and sometimes because i'm thinking like we were walking to the mall and

00:38:14.580 i was like these are cute shoes and i picked them up and they were 950 dollars and i was like well

00:38:18.260 of course not but i'm like that's another way to be transformed is to be like fully domed by like

00:38:23.260 spending money exactly that's what i was there is something they're almost like yeah you know what 0.91

00:38:27.400 fuck it and then like leaving in the thousand dollar shoes like how would that make me feel 0.98

00:38:32.660 right it's more about the thrill like so i think i trade you know the thrill of transformation 1.00

00:38:37.580 sometimes for the thrill of the adrenaline of financial risk yes okay you know throwing down

00:38:43.760 um the thing and going let's get it i mean i was really soon wait what is that brand um soon wasu

00:38:51.840 no but there was a brand yesterday i was like okay get over here look how expensive it is oh i know

00:38:57.300 we were drooling it was like here's this little face cream and it was like 250 i took a picture

00:39:02.640 And I, of course, and for those listening, this is people don't know this about Sephora.

00:39:06.600 Honey, anything you buy at Sephora, and I mean anything, you can take it home.

00:39:12.900 You can have your way with it.

00:39:15.100 You take it back.

00:39:16.440 You go, this didn't work for me.

00:39:18.760 Full refund.

00:39:21.960 Okay.

00:39:22.620 I mean, people go, people go, people go, oh, my receipt.

00:39:25.180 First of all, is it 1904?

00:39:27.220 It's all in the email.

00:39:28.780 Okay.

00:39:29.060 They have it on file.

00:39:30.280 All in the email.

00:39:30.760 God forbid.

00:39:31.220 I okay so I've done this Sephora to me I'm just it's a borrowing center I'm just borrowing

00:39:35.520 products a library I go in I rent out a lipstick I go no and I go back and so listen worst case

00:39:41.940 scenario I once went back I was returning this this this and this and then I found this old

00:39:46.780 lipstick from the 80s that I had used that I didn't like and they were like you bought that

00:39:51.380 too long ago so we can only do exchange like they were like breaking the news to me I was like

00:39:55.780 that'll do that'll do yeah you're like trying not to look too excited when they oh like it's

00:40:01.100 like i've got yeah like it's almost like yeah buy the trust me the scams i've thought up i'm like oh

00:40:05.600 i'm gonna buy the 250 cream scoop it out put that thing put some goddamn nivea in there return it

00:40:12.560 like that would work completely 100 would work although joke's on you because now they're 0.85

00:40:17.860 the ingredients oh no the ingredients the ingredients degrade once they leave the jar

00:40:23.800 no no hysterical i love that angle too i was gonna say jokes on you like the nivea is actually the

00:40:28.500 same ingredients as if we look at skin school like you know like you're like you know whatever

00:40:33.800 but wait i want to talk about fantasies of stealing because specifically like i used to

00:40:38.640 dream about how i could like scan the sbarro bar at the mall okay i don't know if you know what

00:40:44.080 sbarro is but it's like it's an italian sort of fast food and it's it's buffet style you load up

00:40:49.880 a tray and they weigh it at the counter. Okay. So, you know, so, so a cucumber costs you more

00:40:54.640 than, you know, penne vodka. And so it was sort of this question of, oh, well, you know, how could

00:41:00.680 I game it? How, you know, whatever. But, but the big one for me was Sephora. And I feel like I'm

00:41:04.700 like, my idea always is so overly elaborate involved a sponge. Okay. But a really high,

00:41:09.900 like a deeply absorbent cloth. Okay. That I sort of dip sort of, no, my pocket would be made of it.

00:41:16.620 Okay. And you know, when you take your pocket inside out to demonstrate no money in a cartoon,

00:41:20.780 that sort of thing, right? Yes. And then I would dunk that into the SK-2. Okay. It would soak up

00:41:29.020 practically a whole bottle of SK-2. I'd reinsert it into my pocket. Okay. And then I'm not leaving

00:41:34.280 with bottles. I'm not leaving with packages. I can't leave them with liquid. They can't do shit.

00:41:38.080 What are they going to say? It smells like SK-2 in your pocket. Sorry. Oh my God. Yeah. 1.00

00:41:43.940 wring it into a basin and then at home i would wring it out into a bottle i would sterilize

00:41:49.780 through the sunlight only and um no oh but i opened the the sul wasu i don't know you know

00:41:56.240 i don't know where the emphasis lies but sul wasu first step to radiant skin i mean they were like

00:41:59.860 250 dollars there was they were higher than a lot of the stuff they're high i was very very excited

00:42:05.560 by the formulations and um actually i'm going to look them up i don't know if the formulations are

00:42:10.120 any good i just i just decided to be in advance and i just wanted to say those words okay so we'll

00:42:17.120 see um wait i already forgot what they say oh stealing oh oh so i pick up there's a cream there

00:42:23.840 there's a cream there that's that's like 250 and um i lift it up and let's test it dry to the bone 0.90

00:42:29.520 okay i mean the other hogs and hacks of sephora okay like they see the 250 i'm trying it right 0.94

00:42:36.660 like it's empty and they have not replaced what we had we had they've not replaced the tester 0.90

00:42:41.560 now this is a huge question about the tester we forced the tester opening

00:42:44.480 i hope i was like nordstrom or nordstrom's okay this is beautiful i really can't tell you right

00:42:50.560 now nordstrom it's nordstrom no it's nordstrom's i think it's got to be nordstrom because nordstrom

00:42:56.980 i feel that the instinct a lot of people do is we add the apostrophe right right and then the

00:43:01.720 brands are humiliated because we've turned it into you know tony's down the street like right

00:43:05.800 it's become casual Nordstrom's it's like there's other ones that we do that with Bloomingdale's

00:43:11.900 Bloomingdale's yeah yeah I mean it's almost like an apostrophe at the very end right why do I have

00:43:16.800 this like the way brands attached to feeling is so powerful like like Bloomingdale's feels

00:43:22.800 like I'm like I like Bloomingdale's like why do I where does that feel come from it's so terrifying

00:43:27.600 brand loyalty come in what's where does that loyalty come from like I know why you like

00:43:31.900 why the Soho location no to me well to me Bloomingdale's is like you know I grew up in

00:43:36.840 the suburbs it's like going to the Bloomingdale's and White Plains okay so it's it's suburban yet

00:43:40.940 there's kind of this like oh well it's a place where they bring all the finest brands okay so

00:43:46.680 there's like this so there's something like it's a kind of a high-end like suburban experience or

00:43:50.940 something like that's where I go to get my designer uh whatever you know like this yeah

00:43:56.140 not that I ever bought those things you know what I mean I'm you know but it like that whatever

00:44:00.100 what okay i feel like bloomingdale's has just a classic new york the brown bag yeah and even

00:44:06.900 even though they've you know even though they're self-aware about the brown bag

00:44:09.880 like right right you know like it says the brown bag on it whatever yeah yeah yeah is there a

00:44:15.960 medium is there a medium brown bag huh i think there is like that that's what i'm talking about

00:44:22.140 the cheekiness yeah okay i think they've gone there but it doesn't in their case it does not

00:44:25.980 destroyed i think the word bloomingdale is a nice sounding word um yeah it's really it's really

00:44:31.080 i think it's fun to say bloomies okay it's fun to say bloomies like that's like something you

00:44:35.280 might say like i don't know i hear my aunt saying it in my head like um oh and then i i actually my

00:44:41.060 blood runs cold at the hearing bloomies yeah oh i no no i i know it did i know it did and and i

00:44:49.760 knew it before i said it suddenly splayed on an operating table like the scalpels like between

00:44:55.260 my eyes and they're like they're like we're taking it all you just can't stand we just can't stand

00:45:00.600 the sound of the word right that ruins it that's like me saying skis before what did i say skis

00:45:05.460 about milk skis cough skis jesus help me that's better cough skis yeah but but you know but

00:45:12.040 bloomies bloomies has some sweetness to me i don't know i'm not gonna cave under your cruelty 0.99

00:45:16.620 you know i think no my mother like i can go there too no i too feel a scalpel in my asshole that's 0.98

00:45:22.640 icer no i'm sort of halfway i can sort of see it both ways but i mean the sort of to me the sort of 0.94

00:45:30.000 the bloomingdale's thing is 40 carats okay 40 carats is their cafe oh of course and they're

00:45:37.040 exceptional i will say and again it's spelled carrot as in the vegetable yes to be clear to

00:45:42.040 be clear okay and they're frozen yogurt they're tart they were pre-pink berry with the tart

00:45:47.120 frozen yogurt i've been craving very hard well i remember when pink berry first maybe you should

00:45:52.320 go to bloomies instead because it's better sorry are you ready it's better oh my god better and

00:45:58.480 actually the westchester the white plains bloomingdale's i'm getting upset could i have

00:46:02.580 gotten that yesterday we were at the mall probably they don't have a bloomingdale's there wow you're

00:46:06.700 right we were nordstrom crisis averted nordstrom thank god you never had the opportunity so you

00:46:11.460 didn't experience loss isn't that weird i know i know it's like the imagined loss i mean it's like

00:46:15.720 but no no nespresso i mean jesus do you think the root of all suffering is imagined loss the word

00:46:21.320 nespresso imagine well yes i think i just it's that simple no no including death oh the reason

00:46:27.620 i said nespresso is because brands live in me okay no i what i was going to say was that espresso

00:46:32.660 counters are what nordstrom offers okay nordstrom always has a little cafe near the entrance of

00:46:38.340 its place and there's something really specific about like you're dying you're exhausted from

00:46:43.140 looking at all the shoes okay and then you're just like let's get an espresso and you don't

00:46:47.500 have to go all the way to a food court okay you're just like oh there it is and you're drinking like

00:46:51.300 you're drinking like the coffee of shoes shoe coffee so that's what we could have had yesterday

00:46:56.320 i noticed it i thought of going over wait okay so so go in but you solved life you know you know

00:47:01.060 i just want to say a brand i have anger toward joe malone but keep going keep going i want to

00:47:04.640 talk about that but i just don't want you to forget that you solved life the problem whatever

00:47:08.020 i solved the problem of life thank you yeah i really you said imagine i was like i think that

00:47:11.900 is the root of all human suffering it's imagined loss well one could argue you know the fear of

00:47:16.040 death which is you know the denial of death earnest becker or whatever right you're imagining

00:47:21.960 you've lost your life and it's like you're gonna lose it anyway and maybe there is no loss because 0.99

00:47:27.100 maybe this was the shit show and that we're freed of our bodies we can enjoy the glory of god 1.00

00:47:32.420 finally free to shop all night and goodbye we'll see you know what i mean like we think we're done 0.99

00:47:39.860 To me, heaven is all open between the hours of 11 p.m. and 6 a.m.

00:47:44.960 Ain't that the truth.

00:47:46.380 I always had this character in my mind, okay, that goes like this.

00:47:49.220 This is all I have.

00:47:49.920 She's on a stage. 1.00

00:47:50.540 She goes, God's a tease. 1.00

00:47:51.720 Any ladies? 1.00

00:47:53.360 Say it again. 1.00

00:47:54.660 Say it again.

00:47:55.420 So it's a spiritual teacher who's a little, like, cheeky, okay?

00:47:58.540 This is a character in my mind.

00:48:00.040 She goes, God's a tease. 0.99

00:48:01.720 Any ladies? 1.00

00:48:02.680 Any ladies. 1.00

00:48:04.120 I miss that. 1.00

00:48:06.460 You can cut that.

00:48:07.380 Kate didn't enjoy it enough for me to be able to let it ring out um I mean just because Kate

00:48:12.140 doesn't enjoy it a listener still could right sorry so I got distracted because I honestly was

00:48:16.280 imagining like us dying I was imagining an afterlife and like I was imagining us like

00:48:20.220 running into each other in the afterlife like I was imagining the very cartoonish imagery of like

00:48:24.700 we're in the sky and you know there's a gold gate and all that let's go there yeah you and I kind of

00:48:30.140 turning see I imagine us marching up together that's that's what's so funny I don't imagine

00:48:34.660 us running into each other i imagine i mean given what you're like i imagine you gripping me

00:48:40.460 and me and i become courageous you see you're my cat in a way you're the little animal in my life

00:48:48.480 okay that i get to be wise and and calm you down to feel my own courage i want to calm you down 0.89

00:48:54.340 one goddamn day you oh you totally do like you'll be like i'll be like you know yeah you're right i 0.92

00:48:59.520 do like hurt by a comment or something and whatever you know you'll be like lol it's reciprocal 0.98

00:49:05.660 absolutely i just mean but in that one way in this one fantasy i get to sort of you know it's like

00:49:10.320 you let me slip in and be like kate we're fine yeah you know like yeah and almost like i picture

00:49:14.380 you gripping my arms headed towards the gates and being like and i don't know what i just imagined

00:49:19.240 i imagined a fruit platter spread okay before the gates of heaven okay so this is like for the people

00:49:25.600 waiting and like they're kind enough to put out a nice spread for those who may or may not get

00:49:29.500 in okay and i imagine you seeing the fruit spread and it looking really good like this incredible

00:49:33.860 buffet as we're heading up to the gates to try to get it into heaven and you're like you're like

00:49:38.100 wait but do you think they have that fruit on the other side too you'd be like should we eat the

00:49:41.900 fruit and then get in line do you see what i'm saying and i'd be like there's no way in hell

00:49:46.420 they have a better spread on this side i don't like those like yeah i'm just not they're into

00:49:51.780 fruit spreads what i don't it fruit spread was just i mean this food in my mind i was thinking

00:49:56.440 about a fruit spread and i it just distracted me manchego okay some speck rolled oh does that

00:50:04.860 help yes you and speck your relationship to speck is really no i'm only throwing speck out there

00:50:10.040 because we um we had speck and i said ooh speck and you said absolutely speck indeed okay it was

00:50:16.480 almost like this thing like we were like proving we both knew the word yeah i adore speck yeah a 0.71

00:50:21.200 seasoned meat is a is it like a face no that's guanciale it's the face of the pig

00:50:27.340 speck is like i think it's i think it's pork it's some kind of ham yeah it's like it's in

00:50:33.380 the realms of it's like prosciutto salami a prosciutto yeah a speck you know it's it's one

00:50:39.240 of those like you wouldn't be if someone handed it to you and said this is prosciutto you'd go

00:50:43.640 okay like oh it's round usually right okay i don't know okay okay okay i remember do you

00:50:49.040 remember where you first learned the word speck i'm sorry we'll move on from speck well i do

00:50:52.460 are you even interested yes go it was a similar situation my friend saying and get some speck i

00:50:58.260 mean knowing what it was okay and the panic so yeah you can imagine i leaned into the word speck

00:51:03.180 pretty hard the other day because i was exercising the knowledge of having it do you want to know

00:51:07.460 about the retinol or not i know you do yes see i love to feed you i love to dangle it above your

00:51:12.280 give it to me well i all i know is she said much like a piece of speck a piece of speck over my

00:51:19.540 face okay dropping it into your face i don't think i've ever fed you a single morsel have

00:51:23.420 you never fed me food have you ever been fed food uh once on a date it was an absolute nightmare in

00:51:29.700 college okay it was it was pure hell okay it was and i remember it was shaved beef carpaccio and

00:51:35.660 this this guy like god it was a single date and he like he's like you know like you must try it 0.99

00:51:40.380 oh i'm trying i thought we were splitting it bitch okay and so then he's like but he takes 0.99

00:51:45.920 the fork and he like he places a bite on it and then suddenly the fork is like moving across the 0.93

00:51:50.640 table in the direction of my mouth no and i'm like humiliated okay by this like sort of masculine

00:51:56.900 feminine thing that's like happening in front of people deep throat yeah the fork to yield

00:52:02.840 instantly to this like presentation of a form of meat okay and so it's like it was like humiliating 0.97

00:52:08.960 it's just of course like what did i do i fucking opened my mouth and like what about 0.84

00:52:13.040 it's just it's just hell and um and then yeah i never forgot it because it was how could you 0.94

00:52:21.560 forget it but wait but they so so she says this thin skin thing and i'm just like thin skin does

00:52:27.100 not sound legit to me that sounds like like like a rumor okay that's flying through at the the brow

00:52:32.600 place so it's like but i i went with it because i'm like they have experience maybe it's not

00:52:37.280 technically thin skin but something all right i'll i'll get some other things to satisfy my

00:52:43.340 desire for transformation and then um i googled on the way home thin skin retinol they're like

00:52:49.980 myth myth myth myth myth well who's saying i'm sorry but is it retinol big retinol saying it's

00:52:57.280 a myth i don't i'm not trying to scare you i just no no no it's no guess what because thin skin is

00:53:02.800 not even i mean no one's like worried about like but the magazines yeah and the articles on it

00:53:07.720 were like i just i'm not i don't think like retinol's doing fine big retinol's fine i i just

00:53:12.760 want to say after i have an appointment with my facialist is coming into town because she moved

00:53:17.400 next week and i'm gonna ask her about retinol i'm gonna ask her about everything so we're gonna have

00:53:21.180 so i'm gonna come back with a lot of she can clear some space for me okay i told you she's

00:53:25.360 not accepting new clients yeah i know you did and i just thought you know i got in there she's not

00:53:30.980 even seeing all her regular clients okay we have to go we have to wrap we have to wrap okay um

00:53:36.500 i'm hungry i love you bye that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review

00:53:43.940 if not we will press charges

00:53:46.120 this is rider strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather in 1995 my neighbor

00:53:56.420 and a trainer disappeared from a commune.

00:53:58.740 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:54:02.580 No, I am not your guru.

00:54:06.220 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:54:08.540 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:54:11.460 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:54:15.240 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:54:17.600 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:54:21.280 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:54:23.900 Guaranteed human.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - May 04, 2021

The Big Switch

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