Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - The Hat

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00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:27.320 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:57.320 Chase Matthew, listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

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00:01:34.800 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:36.240 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.320 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:41.920 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:43.640 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:44.460 This is our hell.

00:01:45.300 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.540 This is POOG.

00:01:48.920 Today's topic, loosely speaking.

00:01:51.120 Patented friendship technology.

00:01:53.400 Raw immediacy.

00:01:55.300 keyboards listen i'm in a place of radicalization right now because i'm day 12 of no social media

00:02:03.140 holy shit and i don't think i'm ever going back and i'll immediately amend that and say of course 0.51

00:02:09.200 i'm going back okay no you're not going back i'm not i'm going back because you're not going back 0.98

00:02:14.680 i'm going back but never okay okay give me the pitch i don't want to be one of these people

00:02:19.660 that's saying pitch because they say it in in hollywood by the way poog social media i just 0.99

00:02:23.800 want to say is the one thing that I miss or like the hags of course it's like truly the one thing

00:02:29.500 I miss but but but sorry sorry give me the pitch give me the pitch I should let you speak I should 1.00

00:02:34.120 let you say your plan about going back and then I'll I'll and then I'll tailor my pitch I said

00:02:38.960 enough I want to hear your side of this negotiation you know so that I can more strategically arm my

00:02:43.740 pitch okay I'll start by this I'll start this by saying I've done two what I said I look earless

00:02:53.220 you look like an earless an earless bombshell oh thank you i wish you weren't blurry it's hell

00:03:00.880 the lighting in here i need to get a ring light um you have one i've done i've done i know i've

00:03:06.920 done i i think i have two okay i've done two 30-day social media cleanses in the past

00:03:14.460 and then at day i don't even really but i've never felt them this one's hit me the hardest and i

00:03:23.300 sorry i just had a very sweet moment so i've never sat down i've never been seated at this

00:03:30.180 desk before and i just looked out the window and i can see the window of a friend of mine who lives

00:03:35.680 she lives nearby and you've never seen her room i never knew the window was directly visible and

00:03:40.580 it's like i could ask her to come outside and wave right now and i'd see her and it makes me

00:03:43.740 want to weep makes me feel like i'm in you know 12th century yes france it makes me feel and and

00:03:48.900 this brings me back to the point of noticing the world around us and feeling the interconnectedness

00:03:53.540 of people and of um the village because you're just leaning out the window celine yeah i know

00:04:00.180 no wait celine that's i'm about to cool a goddamn high on my windowsill i know i might want to hold

00:04:05.420 off on the calling her and asking her to wave you might want to think strategically about whether 0.68

00:04:09.640 or not you want that to be known or spoken of no she knows she knows how close we are but seeing

00:04:16.000 this I could weep it's just it feels like a painting but um what I was going to say is that

00:04:21.300 the 30 I'm really feeling this this one more and why listen 12 days in these 12 days and here are

00:04:31.740 kind of the stats right I've read two books in 12 days which ordinarily I wouldn't I have really 0.91

00:04:37.320 cleaned my house i've done hate to say it some personal inventory okay shit i i had like i would

00:04:43.600 say one quite major personal breakthrough okay um within the world of interpersonal relationships 0.71

00:04:50.440 and and i have to credit you jacqueline novak my my sister and my my comrade you my colleague my

00:05:00.620 you suggesting that i read the war of art i'm so excited that you loved it and i and i devoured it

00:05:06.820 I devoured it in 24 hours and again people who know the book will go well that's not so impressive

00:05:11.340 bitch because you know the typeface is kind of huge and some of the pages are just whatever

00:05:16.640 the revelations it brings up are not easy to take for many and so they actually couldn't 0.96

00:05:22.060 read it all the way through I was profoundly moved by this text and the war of art

00:05:28.620 one of the central arguments right which you laid out in a previous episode is this idea of

00:05:33.540 resistance right and like what are we resisting it's so hard to become yourself you know you don't

00:05:37.620 want to do the work the thing that you know you have to do is the thing that you'll resist at all

00:05:40.900 costs and that also was a lesson again as i say in my personal life this week um and so but i

00:05:48.960 i'm all over the place because i'm so raw right now i'm a raw nerve of sensuality and experience

00:05:53.640 okay and i'm in my body for the first time in years oh my god no but i just mean to say that

00:05:58.660 i the stripping away of what's wrong no i'm just thinking i'm trying to right right like there's a

00:06:08.020 but i'm sensing like a panic to get it out right and it's okay no no i know i have a i have a panic

00:06:12.180 to get it out right because i really do feel there's like an there is an immediacy to my

00:06:18.320 experience right now that i really am crediting with the not being online and here and here's

00:06:22.140 the thing the way that i and the way i abuse primarily instagram right is just that the

00:06:26.980 constant scrolling right and i have completely erased myself my ability to be with myself and

00:06:35.940 i'm suddenly keenly aware of like the devastating loss of that and the primary thing that i find

00:06:42.740 myself doing is i'm staring and i find myself sitting on the couch okay just staring that's

00:06:50.220 good like just gazing like being lost in thought that's waking up in the morning and rolling over

00:06:55.560 and just kind of staring and like suddenly staring just like and by the way when is the last time you

00:07:04.520 saw someone just spacing out in public like i was thinking like right now there are these moments

00:07:09.820 that i catch myself yes where i'm like if i were in a public space like i was on a if i were on a

00:07:13.580 park bench right now just kind of staring i would look insane i think that now no no no i think is

00:07:21.380 it totally i haven't seen someone stare unless unless they're certified madman like unless they're

00:07:28.320 like no i feel like i i'm like defending it because i'm like i still do that and so i'm

00:07:33.320 feeling the need i believe you do i mean but i look at the phone and then might look up

00:07:38.120 and i mean staring off into into space as they say which you know

00:07:44.760 no i'm looking at something in my mind folks you know what i mean right the

00:07:50.620 the apparent blankness is not is not blank at all seeing your little rabbit eyes landing on a

00:07:58.600 carrot okay i'm supposed to be more impressed that i don't mean you but someone's rabbit eyes

00:08:03.960 like landing on a little carrot and clearly seeing them process the carrot like that's supposed to be

00:08:08.820 you know less mad than my seeming blank doll eyes while i'm contemplating something and

00:08:14.920 seeing something in my head that's arguably richer more nuanced I just I just I can't believe what

00:08:22.880 am why am I so afraid of my own interiority Jacqueline what's in there you know it's like

00:08:27.660 what am I oh god and I have to say something I almost can't talk about this on Poog because it's

00:08:34.200 or just I it's almost like I I don't want to talk about this at all because it's like

00:08:37.740 it's some it's um as you can tell I'm sort of in this like inarticulate like swamp land of it

00:08:43.640 right now and i'm i'm coming i'm i feel like i'm really reckoning with like what i've lost

00:08:48.020 oh wow the years i've lost in kind of a way that i'm like that's okay i can forgive myself

00:08:52.960 because it's um this is you know this um you've lost some industry right social media is actually

00:08:58.440 a propaganda term it's not social media it's an industry and it's um and data labor is real and

00:09:04.460 we've all i mean it's just like it's so it's a fucking crisis and we need 12 step for social 0.96

00:09:10.680 media addiction and we don't have it. And it's, it's, it's a, if you actually, if you really start 0.53

00:09:15.960 to think about it too much, it becomes so overwhelming and depressing that you just,

00:09:18.800 that you just open Instagram again. Yeah. You just about open Instagram again and go, well,

00:09:22.720 this is, you know, because also, and the main myth, I'll just say this, the, the main myth and

00:09:28.600 like most pernicious lie propagated by social, the social industry is probably that you can't

00:09:33.260 not do it. Right. Cause even I, and there's, there's like a, there's an argument for like,

00:09:37.540 well, my, my industry, which is real. I will of course not delete my account because I need to

00:09:41.680 post about tickets that I'm trying to sell to my live show, or I have to promote things. And I'm

00:09:46.360 like, okay, I, I have admitted that I'm powerless over this force. And so I don't know how to engage

00:09:51.380 with it in moderation yet, but I will, I actually, it's urgent that I develop a way to do that. By

00:09:56.920 the way, cut to me scrolling for the next 67 years. I mean, completely, like, I just want to say,

00:10:01.280 but but i don't think i'm going to stating this now um the vulnerability of stating like seemingly

00:10:08.060 reckoning with an addiction like publicly almost or you know to friends and and hags it's like

00:10:15.900 there's this oh god and then you're gonna see me years well at least no one can see you scroll

00:10:20.240 technically um but it's like i always had the fear about if i went to overeaters anonymous

00:10:25.420 i don't know they're just gonna see me in the window of the italian restaurant like

00:10:31.280 coming back from the meeting just like bent over i don't know like they'll i mean at least you

00:10:36.860 have to still eat it's not like if you're caught in a restaurant you're

00:10:40.720 you're out of the club um yeah but wait wait pull me back to where you were because i have so much

00:10:48.220 to say one because you go okay how could i reckon with social media right you go how i've admitted

00:10:53.460 that i'm powerless yeah how and and the first thought was like well in order to manage you know

00:11:01.540 you have if you have to for your business promote whatever how do you go in there without going in

00:11:07.580 there oh you you get someone else to do it for you you do content planning okay or whatever you

00:11:12.820 have a little calendar of all your announcements okay and and someone else posts them but wait

00:11:17.960 wait i have more i have more yeah please this is how it always happens for me then i start going

00:11:21.460 well what if you could make yourself your own assistant and what okay and then you go all right

00:11:25.620 what if I create a second self that is emotionally detached I put on my emotional detached hat and I

00:11:34.780 mean that literally folks I mean that literally you know like oh let me put on my blah blah hat

00:11:39.340 I'm like get a hat get a woven cotton hat okay put it on and then and then adopt a persona

00:11:47.140 okay and and head in like okay um okay Kate I'm going in oh my god the hat is brilliant

00:11:56.380 we need brilliant well I remember like I'm only allowed I'm not kidding you as usual your

00:12:02.180 brilliance has freed me okay I'm going to buy a hat and when I'm on Instagram I have to wear that

00:12:10.200 okay me too this is actually huge and actually now it's becoming a little bit more of like a

00:12:15.660 punishment you know what i mean like like as it should be right where originally i was thinking

00:12:21.720 of it more like okay we're creating a secondary self that tolerates discomfort and isn't emotionally

00:12:26.740 attached which actually will bring up because there is an element of that in the war of art

00:12:31.260 which is about turning pro and actually his second book or one of his books is called turning pro

00:12:35.740 and there's a thing about almost detaching a little bit from the angst and just like you know 0.80

00:12:41.340 like showing up and just doing your fucking work whatever showing up showing up to the page how to 0.91

00:12:45.580 be miserable as he say as he says i love it well like learn how to be learning how to be no but 0.99

00:12:50.640 but the yeah the assistant thing the detachment of that you're a genius as usual and i'm buying

00:12:56.520 the hat because here's the one the one model for this future version of myself yes i thought about

00:13:01.620 is maybe i allow myself like on sunday that's the lord's day i know i was just gonna say i think

00:13:08.940 Like, or like Monday, like Monday, Monday, you get to log into social media, you know,

00:13:15.100 Monday, I check my messages, whatever I post, what I have to post.

00:13:18.360 It doesn't have to be Monday. 0.97

00:13:19.280 I just mean like there was one day a week you save shit you have to do for one day a 0.98

00:13:23.140 week. 0.99

00:13:23.320 Totally.

00:13:23.900 And, and it's like in the morning and in the evening and get out.

00:13:27.800 And I think I've said this on a past Pug that like, I feel like you have like the metaphor

00:13:32.220 in my mind that's been helpful is like, think of it like a burning building, go in, get 0.99

00:13:35.600 what you have to do and get the fuck out. 0.99

00:13:37.140 i was literally i'm such an asshole to be like did i provide that metaphor to you because my my 1.00

00:13:42.220 my i that's exactly how i treat it okay it's a hot potato okay it's a it's you dip in and run 0.99

00:13:49.420 okay you get in there you post you need a thing and you try to get the fuck out i mean anytime 0.82

00:13:54.320 your thumb your thumb and even just now as i'm modeled scrolling okay with my thumb i felt a 0.55

00:14:00.160 pain i felt an ache from the muscle now i don't actually do that much scrolling because it feels

00:14:07.800 like the second i start to it's it's the it's like scrolling is truly handing over your consciousness

00:14:14.820 right to formally being like cable television whatever where you where you channel surf okay

00:14:21.560 channel surfing right had a quality of that like let me just right and see what hits with no with

00:14:28.800 no choice right no consciousness and then now we've moved to like streaming whatever and you

00:14:34.380 have to choose at very least you have to choose i mean even if you're just scrolling through the

00:14:38.420 options you have to choose but or you're searching for the thing you want to see right yeah but then

00:14:42.640 we've recreated something where we surf and hand over our consciousness like i mean like

00:14:46.860 like even like going on twitter and like scrolling through people you follow it's like

00:14:52.360 let's see what everyone i know has come up with to tweet today it's like that sucks anyway so it's

00:14:59.180 like handing over your consciousness to others thoughts and going i'll take them whatever it is

00:15:04.920 throw it in my head yeah just dump it right here anything's better than what i have in here

00:15:09.940 exactly wait but when you're telling yourself should the hat be uncomfortable

00:15:15.740 okay like should the hat be 15 pounds yeah i think it's actually an interesting idea

00:15:23.460 oh and i got another idea i think the hat should be a little too tight we're selling i mean i have

00:15:27.960 a huge head so most hats are going to be tight on me we should sell them this is a huge idea

00:15:32.540 well yeah this is a huge idea because utterly comical um i had to measure my head the other

00:15:38.220 day because i was actually thinking about getting a hat and um not just my visors you know my and

00:15:45.020 i think it's like a good fucking 23 inches or something which you know yeah you can certainly 0.71

00:15:50.620 you can see clearly the way i'm filling the screen um yeah but you had big booker well it 0.81

00:15:56.880 reminds me a little bit of well a book i read as a kid how to become a perfect person in three days

00:16:01.300 it was fiction and i was i talked about some of my depression book because i found it it's like

00:16:04.800 my instinct for self-help even as a child and then i was devastated to discover it was fiction

00:16:08.860 like i plucked it off the shelf so sweet how to become a person three days i'm listening and it

00:16:14.140 this like highly kind of metaphysical out there book that in the book the boy a book falls off

00:16:20.760 the shelf in the library called that so there's like seven layers of meta happening with that

00:16:25.120 yeah um and it's like the first day he has to like wear like a melon on a necklace or no a big

00:16:31.740 cabbage on like a string around his neck and go to school wearing it and this whole thing it's like

00:16:39.080 it's kind of like this like three-day child destruction of the ego it's like amazing some

00:16:44.680 you know it's that thing where sometimes like the children's literature or television is so

00:16:48.740 the only literature out there yeah you and me love to do that like to the only literature like

00:16:56.540 to i know you know it's like so satisfying to be extreme no i i i am always drawn to absolute truth

00:17:04.360 well I mean the word reductionist you know comes to mind throughout the day for me about myself

00:17:10.500 and I'm not even sure because I think reductionist is like considered a negative right like you're

00:17:15.940 overly reducing wait what do you see this I'm about to start crying why I don't know no I mean

00:17:25.160 I know that feeling did it I know that feeling but it's okay can I tell you yeah I tell you what

00:17:29.480 the tears are like i won't be offended that it was it was you off in your head it's fine no i'm

00:17:34.320 i'm actually not off in my head i i don't know what this is and tear has not fallen but i feel

00:17:39.460 yeah you feel the prickliness in the nose gratitude no no it's gratitude

00:17:45.500 this cannot air it's airing cannot air i'm just like i was briefly corresponding with with a

00:17:52.680 friend who i admire so much before we recorded and i'm thinking about just like i feel immense

00:17:57.580 luck right now tell me more there's something that you're not saying no just like no there's

00:18:08.080 so much i'm not saying but i just i don't know wait i have something to say which i think is

00:18:15.200 part of what what this little micro revelation i'm having is that i really don't like to say

00:18:23.200 like I struggle with being alone right like would you say you struggle with being alone nope you

00:18:28.880 don't love being alone no I love it okay okay okay so I don't I've never known the answer

00:18:34.240 the answer to that question I wish I struggled more with it I'm so antisocial I'm okay alone

00:18:40.600 I would say I am because I feel like that's often equated with this idea of liking yourself

00:18:44.820 and I couldn't like myself more you know but I just mean like right I'm I don't I entertain

00:18:51.800 myself I know how to have fun alone and right but you do bring that up a lot like that's always

00:18:58.180 been a thing I know I know it is and I and I want it's my thing of the phantom twin that I like my

00:19:04.540 mother prayed for twins and so I've always felt like there was like a twin that like I was supposed

00:19:09.140 to have or something like like I always want this other person there this other presence or this

00:19:12.700 other witness which can easily be said I am a comedian performer you know but it's true I mean

00:19:17.880 I'm saying it in that voice because it's such an indelible truth about myself like I need to be

00:19:21.160 watched like or else I cease to exist or whatever but but the the the constant the persistence of

00:19:30.020 social media and this kind of like surveillance culture that we're all inscribed in and that we

00:19:33.760 you know we've just agreed to robs you of your ability to be with yourself in this way that I'm

00:19:42.700 realizing and when people talk about I love being by myself like I love my own company I've always

00:19:50.840 like yeah but i like to have dinner i like to be with myself if i know a friend's coming over in

00:19:55.940 two hours right i'm self-conscious i feel like yeah no no i i mean you have a profound social

00:20:01.860 instinct wait what why does it have to be cut i don't know okay keep going i'm i'm i'm a raw

00:20:10.200 nerve right now i feel like i was born two hours ago oh my god 12 12 days if you do social media

00:20:16.840 12 days of christmas you do no social media you'll be born anew on the 13th i mean and i want to

00:20:23.980 again i said to the group i've done 30 days no social media a couple times didn't i've never

00:20:27.940 gone to this place it's other stuff that's coming up in me yeah obviously but continue god every 0.87

00:20:32.660 time you let stuff come up it's like oh shit yeah this is useful and then push it back down

00:20:38.240 and i think i'm actually letting it come up a little bit you think what i think i'm actually 0.90

00:20:45.620 letting letting it come up a little to the surface and i had great dreams i'm trying to remember oh

00:20:50.600 yeah my pitch about being the assistant for the self and then oh there were so many things you

00:20:55.880 inspired um and i controlled myself from not entirely interrupting i wish you had interrupted

00:21:01.620 because i am sitting here and i'm just gonna you know i'm gonna give it to god but yes i have 0.70

00:21:06.440 like i'm like jesus kate shut the fuck up what i'm having that negative self-talk right now 0.87

00:21:12.100 i just hate um and i notice it when i'm writing and that's when i really hate it 0.91

00:21:18.360 uh just the way that like you know these shared i don't know i think the term is pop psychology

00:21:24.440 i but i'm only using that to try to like sound cool and dismissive because i heard someone else

00:21:28.620 say it once and i'm like well is there any other kind you know but like sorry it's not academic

00:21:34.020 you know what i mean oh remind me to talk about reading an academic essay i really want to talk

00:21:38.320 that um yeah let's do it wait hold that thought we gotta go to break

00:21:41.800 this is writer strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather it was many and many a

00:21:51.080 year ago in a kingdom by the sea in 1995 my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a commune

00:21:57.800 it was hard to wrap your head around it was nature and trees and praying and drugs so no i am not

00:22:04.220 to your guru.

00:22:06.600 And back then, I lied to my parents,

00:22:09.240 I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:22:11.460 There were years, Ryder,

00:22:13.100 where I could not say your name.

00:22:14.460 I've decided to go back to my hometown

00:22:15.920 in Northern California,

00:22:17.140 interview my friends, family,

00:22:18.540 talk to police, journalists,

00:22:19.960 whomever I can,

00:22:21.000 to try to find out what actually happened.

00:22:23.300 Isn't it a little bit weird

00:22:24.500 that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:22:26.220 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:22:27.900 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:22:30.820 I'll teach you sons of bitches 1.00

00:22:32.160 to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:22:33.420 boom, boom, this is The Red Weather.

00:22:38.120 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:22:40.740 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:22:45.040 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:22:48.980 He is edgy, he's fun, he is Chase Matthews.

00:22:52.320 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:22:55.060 but it's his recent number one hit, Darling, that put Chase on the map

00:22:58.080 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:23:03.320 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:23:04.680 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:23:06.220 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:23:08.960 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:23:18.520 All right, and we're back.

00:23:20.340 And we're back.

00:23:20.820 These phrases, negative self-talk, right, that you, like, just threw into that voice because it's, like, a thing we know, right?

00:23:27.860 Like, oh, no, here I am again.

00:23:29.160 I'm not taking negative self-talk.

00:23:30.660 you know it's like these and they're kind of like of a time and some will linger and some will some

00:23:37.620 will become like you know when you're you know like these movies from the 60s or something where

00:23:41.440 they're or like more like the 70s where they're like referencing and you can hear I don't know

00:23:46.740 even just like the use of the word analyst but like you hear it like and you're kind of just

00:23:52.180 like you hear the time like you hear the psychological things of the time and how the

00:23:55.960 people feel sophisticated at the time referencing like um okay like neurotic obviously still exists

00:24:01.160 but it was like bigger back in the day yeah and sort of like well it's just you know neurotic

00:24:06.940 no I think I know what you mean but the negative but you mean like now because oh but like these

00:24:10.680 pop psychology terms that are real to me yeah they're real to me and I'm annoyed when they

00:24:14.060 pop up like jargon again I guess but it's like I really resent when they pop up conveniently

00:24:20.340 when i feel myself trying to express something and the cultural term like you know negative

00:24:26.680 self-talk flies in and i'm like i know everyone will know what i mean so i could use it but it's 0.95

00:24:31.220 an absolute cliche phrase of the time will not be good 200 years from now when i expect my goddamn

00:24:39.620 work to to retain meaning yeah yeah i i demand 200 years from now if you're i mean you know what i'm

00:24:49.640 when i'm writing something and i know that's you know some would laugh you mean you demand that it

00:24:53.920 be i want it to endure i want i don't mean that no i don't care if it endures or it rots okay

00:24:59.360 but if a book were found that i had written 200 years from now someone happened upon it they were

00:25:05.960 forced to read it was the only book in the cave where they were dying okay i just the idea of it

00:25:11.740 just having these little these little phrases of the time i i can't know i understand of course

00:25:18.400 no i completely understand and actually as soon as i said negative self-talk i was like that's 0.54

00:25:22.820 not fucking it because i actually believe in negative self-talk in a certain way like i really

00:25:26.460 i really kind of bristle at this thing of like like sometimes you have to tell yourself shut 0.99

00:25:30.460 the fuck up right i have to i'm we i gotta move on i'm not liking what i'm doing here 0.54

00:25:36.180 no but i i'll tell you what the listeners are because this is actually very compelling and 0.97

00:25:40.420 it's going to change lives okay okay i think the hat's going to change lives and i want to again

00:25:45.180 we're going to go to break i want to say thank you for listening to me as i stumble through this

00:25:48.820 raw moment i i'm today's a day or these last few days having the urge to put this feeling i have

00:25:54.340 which is actual euphoria like i i is actually actually feels like a spiritual awakening i'm

00:25:58.860 not even slightly exaggerating my urge to pin it on this the planets like i don't know much

00:26:04.180 about astrology but i'm like something's going on in orbit right now like i'm trying to why do i

00:26:08.400 want to take it out of you personally here's the very raw materiality of the last 12 days what has

00:26:13.980 happened what has transpired what you're going through instead i want to go venus must be knock

00:26:18.200 knock knocking at neptune's door like why like why am i why why is that where i want to go like

00:26:24.500 let me take it let me think just let me like why like you know what it is it's a little bit it's

00:26:30.060 i'm grasping not to go to buddhism but i'm grasping right now on this moment i don't want it to leave

00:26:34.140 it's like um it's the insanity of when you find yourself having a real experience you're you're

00:26:40.900 you're afraid that if you don't ground it in the planets or you know or attack it to the the

00:26:45.700 swirling planets right or if you tacked it to the swirling planets it's bigger than you you can't

00:26:50.140 lose it okay and because guess what neptune is going around the back door of pluto okay yeah

00:26:56.760 well you know what it is it's also the thing of like our biggest fear is not that we're powerless

00:27:02.160 but that we're powerful oh yeah right it's like oh i actually what if i did summon this what if i do

00:27:06.200 have the capacity to feel this way well it's the thing that that and i listened back and heard

00:27:11.600 myself never make the point when i was saying about existentialism right that i i came to

00:27:16.460 understand in our high school classes it as you know the horror of realizing you are responsible

00:27:22.840 for your own life in that way right that you are powerful whatever and brutal and no one wants that

00:27:28.080 right um or on some level we don't and then later on ever since then okay every single time anyone

00:27:34.260 in in casual life says you know i'm kind of kind of having an existential crisis blah blah blah

00:27:40.560 i literally have thought i'm like i like work it through and i'm like okay so i've realized

00:27:46.960 yeah people say existential crisis or they call something existential i'm literally always like

00:27:51.680 running to my definition of from like french in high school and i think it's just they just mean

00:27:56.240 they just mean the adjectival form of existence what do you think oh interesting they're like

00:28:02.160 yeah it's really existential you're like no i'm like oh because it's that problem where they

00:28:08.020 didn't invent it see here we go here we go jargon of the time what they didn't invent a new word

00:28:13.080 when existentialism let's say was philosophical movement they weren't like options tm okay do you

00:28:19.720 see okay okay i'll explain i'll explain no i'm dumb you're not dumb i'm not i'm not go back i'm 0.60

00:28:26.260 going back you're not dumb it's not clear okay so the problem with my mind i see it all at once 0.67

00:28:31.200 okay and then i have to linearize it okay sorry all right so so the problem is existentialism

00:28:41.360 and all of my associations with it and existential existential is a word existence is a word they

00:28:46.480 already exist right and so then this movement around this thing it's using a word we already

00:28:52.320 have and a word will continue to have and that will be used in other contexts right so it becomes

00:28:56.420 this thing where you go you're right to reference existentialism or something or reference something

00:29:00.520 being existential you'd have to say you know existential in the camu sense or something

00:29:06.540 because it's already existing word they didn't do the thing where they create a proprietary term

00:29:13.960 that can never be confused for something else and philosophy it feels like usually it doesn't okay

00:29:18.760 maybe they combine some other words or roots philosophy takes itself seriously enough that

00:29:26.300 it doesn't do what a product does which is are you ready for this so it'll be like selling you

00:29:30.640 whatever a mug with god i always find it hideous when people just can only use as examples the

00:29:36.560 things in their immediate visual purview okay it's all i've ever done my entire life but like

00:29:41.220 so like it's not like a mug but they're like this mug has like patented you know anti blah blah blah

00:29:47.160 blah blah like you know technology okay tm or whatever and that's right you can just make up

00:29:53.420 that you can make up a term like we could sell poog as having you know we could trademark you

00:30:00.080 know like like whatever like friendship blah blah blah you know technology and frankly the use of

00:30:05.640 the word technology no one can stop you from calling something technology so yeah patented

00:30:11.440 neuro using our patented um neuro you know mirroring uh friendship yes technology yeah

00:30:21.500 no exactly it's like it's like and you capitalize the first word okay i mean you capitalize the

00:30:26.780 first letter right title caps and and then you have something and it's like it's similar to our

00:30:31.620 fredman right it's it's it's like having a name a word or whatever that that cannot be confused

00:30:38.420 or anything else so like another one is like a psychopath like the there's a modern psychological

00:30:44.140 definition that we know of there's also the damned colloquial use where people just use it to mean 0.99

00:30:49.960 the very opposite of what it means because i'm such an asshole but like because psychopath is 0.88

00:30:55.180 like you know non-empathy that whole whole thing people sometimes use it to mean like someone's 0.98

00:31:00.320 like like deeply feeling too much yeah or flying around like a crazy person when they mean psychotic

00:31:06.040 they mean psychosis do they not i mean i don't have all the answers okay but i just yeah but

00:31:10.660 then like people are using words wrong that's what we're trying to say and yet i strongly strongly

00:31:15.820 believe and i think you probably do language cannot be you know it's in a constant state of

00:31:22.280 yeah it cannot be contained in a constant state of decay and transformation and yeah these people 0.81

00:31:27.200 that try to good luck hold it to to have things hold their fools they claim to love language

00:31:33.040 and yet they do not understand it's very nature also there cannot be language in a post-internet 0.87

00:31:38.620 world if you're wait wait no i i don't of course as usual speaking a hugely hyperbolic phrasing

00:31:47.120 all i mean is that the internet debatably what since the printing press we haven't had like

00:31:53.520 we cannot even begin to fathom what the internet has done to language and to thought

00:31:57.700 so good luck trying well i can't i just mean language is no longer language different languages

00:32:03.460 what i can't believe we still have different languages oh my god jacqueline it's insane

00:32:10.700 when i when i was watching a foreign film yes that's right and um her folks

00:32:16.520 no but just reading the idea that the idea that peaceful i read i watched the entire season of

00:32:25.660 fowda sorry okay people what's fowda oh it's a great series i just mean like i'm making a joke

00:32:31.040 about subtitles i'm so sorry just the fact that people are so regionalized that we're born into

00:32:37.320 these little tribes or whatever and then we are right we come to speak we use our mouths ostensibly

00:32:44.100 we all have the same vocal cords right like we have the same tools um like the raw materiality

00:32:49.900 of our bodies yeah but conceivably would produce the same sounds and yet they don't i mean it's

00:32:55.040 eternally mystifying and it's so psychedelic and it's cool and with that we should go to break

00:32:59.620 Because we have been talking nonstop for half an hour.

00:33:02.320 Okay, I'll be back after this brief, brief message.

00:33:05.280 All right, we're going to break.

00:33:06.120 And when we come back, I'll have a different hairstyle.

00:33:13.340 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:33:17.420 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:33:22.660 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:33:26.540 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:33:27.740 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:33:31.540 No, I am not your guru.

00:33:35.300 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:33:37.920 I lied to police.

00:33:39.200 I lied to everybody.

00:33:40.180 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:33:43.160 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:33:45.840 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:33:48.660 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:33:52.000 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:33:54.920 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:33:56.320 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:33:59.520 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:34:02.540 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:34:03.860 This is The Red Weather.

00:34:06.840 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:34:13.740 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:34:17.680 He is edgy.

00:34:18.500 He's fun.

00:34:19.500 He is Chase Matthews.

00:34:21.040 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:34:23.680 but it's his recent number one hit, Darling, that put Chase on the map

00:34:26.760 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:34:32.020 That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:34:34.920 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:34:37.640 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:34:46.940 Okay, we're back, and do I look like it's the 1930s? 0.90

00:34:52.680 30s a little page boy i was hoping for a woman 0.98

00:34:56.740 no i was hoping for more like finger curled flapper

00:35:02.900 did you ever dress up as a flapper for halloween i sure did yes there's a really maybe i'll post

00:35:11.040 it to the poogie instagram there's a really cute foot of me as a baby in a flapper outfit okay

00:35:14.600 oh wow um hold on i'm gonna adjust my microphone can we actually hold on for a second while i pee

00:35:21.280 dude is that a new microphone no i'll tell you all about it oh i gotta tell you i'm worried that

00:35:25.900 this room might be a little echoey well you're gonna have to hang tapestries and you could do

00:35:31.300 what i did i i built something in my last place when i was recording the audio version of my book

00:35:35.160 how do we do public people offerings on depression you go uh people offerings on depression for one 0.95

00:35:40.020 who knows kate flashed her abdomen and did a few gyrations for the for the camera on her way out

00:35:51.380 just to leave me with a little something um let's see

00:35:57.380 i mean jacqueline i feel like i'm on mushrooms the euphoria oh my god wait i wanted to tell

00:36:06.400 you about an experience i had last night with something i begged for and was sent and left you

00:36:13.820 out of because i realized that's fine well i checked with you of course i said kate are you

00:36:18.260 interested in ergonomic keyboard it will require training and onboarding and i said no yeah as i

00:36:26.620 was emailing with the guy so i'll i'll set it up as we know i'm constantly searching for ergonomic

00:36:32.920 solutions for writing you're gonna have to repeat that sentence i'm always searching for

00:36:40.520 ergonomic solutions to life at a desk so i go down these holes and i try to make it so i try

00:36:46.260 to make it that it's not resistance right because you know you could spend all day

00:36:49.540 as you once said do not write until you're ergonomically safe

00:36:53.840 so i started doing a little research because i you know i have daily pain i have pain folks

00:37:00.760 from writing from hunching my favorite you know i like to i at times worry could i write

00:37:07.360 would i have a voice i mean like would there be any style in my voice if i were to write

00:37:14.120 from a physical position of relaxation like i feel like suddenly my words would just be

00:37:18.420 monk-like you know what i'm saying like you need to be hunched with a cigarette in your mouth

00:37:23.720 right right right whatever your version of the language just flowing effortlessly like imagining

00:37:28.640 you like kind of suspended noodle yeah just like yeah well it's like you know what john earlier

00:37:34.260 where's the romance about the issue with a lot of you know with acting school and people being

00:37:38.920 reduced reduced reduced down to being this sort of wet interpretive noodle with no specificity

00:37:45.100 to their voice and that actually doesn't serve them because we usually don't need actors to be

00:37:49.240 able to play every role anymore this isn't a traveling troupe right right it's like no you

00:37:55.900 you're not going to get yourself out of there you can't try to you know eliminate yourself in order

00:38:01.380 to end and it doesn't go into the text and play character these days we want some some originality

00:38:07.260 specificity we want our fredman it's our fredman again our fredman to to remind people

00:38:13.720 is something kate and i were discussing about on a previous episode those remember about naming

00:38:20.580 your child something that hopefully no one else has been named so that they can grab their url

00:38:25.380 when it's time to monetize their life yeah so specificity at all cost our fredman is another

00:38:31.480 t-shirt frankly our fredman actually our fredman.com yeah yes and i had a less good one mine was like

00:38:37.920 loof or something mine was like loof the name yeah it was like i don't know look it up it's

00:38:43.200 definitely not our fredman level but maybe it's decent and i'm just dismissing it because it was

00:38:48.440 mine and what comes from the self is you know automatic trash well i realized i worship the

00:38:54.240 other at all costs um we'll talk oh i make everyone god except god baby been doing it for years

00:39:00.640 i realized as i was sorry to say it again writing um about my youth just how i saw as exotic like

00:39:07.840 literally anything in anyone else's home on anyone else's other people's homes other people's homes

00:39:15.260 other people's things contain the answer the thing i was like writing about yesterday you know it was

00:39:19.800 like related to going to a store so like if if a girl had something cool and then i found out the

00:39:24.960 store was from and like made my mother or something go to that same store okay because this cool person

00:39:31.220 got their item there and it might be some stupid store but i would sort of imbue the store with

00:39:35.640 of course the meaning of their entire and then if you saw the item that the friend had worn 0.93

00:39:41.140 and there you see it hanging in the store among its other things you might lightly recontextualize

00:39:45.980 but i saw that as like sort of wearing a lounge pant like i saw that as a lounge pant to school

00:39:50.940 but here it's shelved and being presented as part of some kind of beach wear and it's like

00:39:55.700 whoa i didn't know you could do that i mean as you know i think i've said i've done that with

00:39:58.820 with a mouthwash with aesop mouthwash remind my beautiful friend at her house she had this 0.59

00:40:04.620 mouthwash and i was like if i have that mouthwash like i'll be fucking unstoppable god it's it's 0.82

00:40:11.760 I mean, it has to be primal not to always, you know, bring it back to homo habilis or whatever, but it always comes back. 0.82

00:40:18.400 I'm staring at two cats out the window right now, one in a window and one outside of a window.

00:40:22.780 And it's it's magic.

00:40:25.440 Cats through the ages, you know, they were there through it all.

00:40:28.660 World War Two, you know, there they were just being cat like it just blows me.

00:40:33.960 Wait, take us back.

00:40:34.940 Our Fredman.

00:40:35.500 Sorry, wait, because I feel like I had something I was excited about.

00:40:39.540 Oh, well, I was excited about.

00:40:41.620 telling you about but oh making everyone god whatever so right except god so you know unfinished

00:40:48.760 threads i say the hags just email in and say you never got around to this and then one day

00:40:53.500 yeah feel free end of um end of season or once every two months thing unfinished threads

00:41:00.360 we go through because i i mean it's nothing but i'm it's almost like i've accepted unfinished

00:41:07.260 threads is so part of my sort of mental identity and communicative identity that i'm almost like

00:41:13.440 you know what i am i'm not a woven blanket i'm a kush ball oh you know you remember those right

00:41:20.660 my mother really always loved kushes she was a hard kush pusher she had them on her keys yes

00:41:27.120 well they were really i had them on the ends of pens they they had a they had a a really nice

00:41:33.020 long run and they had a great smell i mean rubber but a specific kind what are your what are your

00:41:37.660 thoughts on nostalgia oh oh it's um because because there's something about that kind of

00:41:46.880 nostalgia that i have such armor against and deep alarms that go off of they go off well it's not

00:41:54.400 just because it represents a complete it's trying to sell it to you and i've given over okay i've

00:42:00.000 basically give it over yeah i want caboodles like my sister my older sister had you know

00:42:05.500 when i was a kid like the caboodles plastic pastel makeup case oh sure i'm like yeah i yearn for

00:42:11.660 caboodles why why hold up armor like urban outfitters they've got my number you know what

00:42:18.660 i mean like they keep coming out with shit and i'm like that reminds me of like the exact 0.99

00:42:22.400 fucking like they're they're playing on my nostalgia and i'm like and i'm kind of just like 0.97

00:42:27.760 it need not be discussed it need not be discussed is my thoughts about that kind of aesthetic 0.97

00:42:33.740 nostalgia it really something it just oh it's why does it offend me so deeply it's like actually

00:42:38.840 there's a line in the sopranos that's so great of like tony's like who's he having dinner with

00:42:43.700 but he's like remember when he's like remember when is the lowest form of communication 0.97

00:42:47.480 and it's like fuck he's goddamn right because it's we've all we know that we do it it's but it 0.93

00:42:55.940 and there is of course i don't want to completely throw it out the window 0.99

00:42:59.720 and with it many relationships but i just but i just feel do you know the idea of um wait

00:43:05.500 rock home syndrome chris's no it's like it's like a thing where a song you absolutely hated

00:43:13.500 at the time like a hit-pop song at the time like you thought was trash whatever

00:43:17.000 comes on the radio like 15 years later and you love it oh yeah just just due to nostalgia so

00:43:25.660 they call it like rocks rock home syndrome i've been thinking a lot about nostalgia because

00:43:30.040 part of what i'm writing is memoir technically speaking and um and memoir is just soaked i mean

00:43:39.160 it's like it can feel like the entire thing is this exercise in nostalgia and kind of casting

00:43:44.140 this gaze upon the past and like pulling these details out and and something about it feels like

00:43:50.240 really false um i don't know so then i'm like trying to trying to see i was about to say unpack

00:43:57.640 it and it's like that's annoying to me because it's like unpack is like language of the last

00:44:02.720 you know whatever right there's just something about me using it now that just feels

00:44:07.980 slimy but then i'm like trying to unpack nostalgia in the book and it's like

00:44:12.440 oh jesus lady we'd rather just hear you be like kushes remember or like like the kush

00:44:18.140 smelled like a rubber and i loved it you know whatever like yeah they're like everyone's fine 0.97

00:44:23.820 with it i'm like oh the memoir what is it like the the vanity inherent in it blah blah blah and

00:44:28.460 they're like just tell me about your mother oh you have to write something down it's um i remember

00:44:36.500 i once met a man who was like who hated nostalgia i mean i mean like like it was like a defining

00:44:43.220 feature um really but i i saw that as kind of the way he was so up front about that i'm like there's

00:44:52.840 there's drama there yeah sorry i'm truly making a note because as usual you inspire me

00:45:08.040 memoir

00:45:08.560 what do you think about the idea the truth is beauty wait i want to tell you about my uh i

00:45:12.400 want to talk about i want to tell you about me first my the ergonomics which also i was going

00:45:16.720 to say now that i have a now that i'm an office now that i'm a woman with an office um i'm

00:45:22.100 interested in seating in ergonomic seating and a friend mentioned this kind of chair yes i already 0.92

00:45:28.780 forgot what it's called fuck you sent it to me i'm gonna look because because he was like it was on

00:45:33.900 shark tank and like i bet they'll give it to you oh we need it and like it's some chair that like 0.98

00:45:39.780 Justin Bieber has or something and like he was like an investor or something I'm also making

00:45:45.680 that up entirely no I know but it's like it feels like that might be it you sent me a screenshot of

00:45:51.280 a chair and I of course ran to research it's different than just a traditional ergonomic

00:45:55.780 chair uh I think it what it does is it allows for active movement but it's not just like a bouncy

00:46:02.180 ball or a kneeling chair it's like they're like yeah it moves with you so you can like wiggle

00:46:07.840 around in it i don't know i don't know there's something to it what did i i just saw a skincare

00:46:12.720 thing being advertised as as absolute new technology anti-aging but like that but like

00:46:17.720 on a level of like we've been working on this for 20 years like that's what they always say okay but

00:46:23.180 but but but this one you got to see it they're like they don't they're not even like in the

00:46:26.840 beauty industry they're in the like anti like aging longevity industry and now like applying

00:46:31.260 into skincare but i'm like looking at the ingredients and i'm still seeing like you know

00:46:37.300 um natural oils like i'm still seeing a list of natural ingredients and i'm like this looks like

00:46:44.640 the same list as is on my gorgeous like magic skincare oil that i'll repost again you know

00:46:53.420 what i mean like and i'm just like guys like like you you did this in a gleaming white laboratory

00:46:58.520 facility which like like you know an oil i'm interested in exploring is everyday oil you know

00:47:03.820 people love that yeah wait what is that they have a scented one and unscented one picture the idea

00:47:08.000 is like all you need is this you know you cleanse with it you moisturize with it you take your

00:47:12.160 makeup off with it you want you know what a joyless existence once again that that's you're

00:47:16.480 right that's me floating and you know that's that's um when you're putting on your skincare

00:47:21.560 in the evening or the morning when you're doing the full regime do you out loud narrate it and

00:47:25.980 when i say out loud i mean no you do that i do that just like when you cook i like home shopping

00:47:31.760 network like and now i'm just gonna yeah no that's lovely um no because i'm watching television

00:47:37.880 you always forget i don't do anything in front of the mirror the only time i do anything sort

00:47:44.080 of vaguely in the realm of the bathroom is immediately post shower by the way i just

00:47:48.080 want to give people a tip the greatest functioning sort of vanity i've had is my linen closet okay

00:47:57.520 or what would what one would intend to be in the hallway it is shelves of skincare i walk over to

00:48:05.060 it and that's where i do my my work there's no mirror it's just for grabbing stuff i move and

00:48:09.820 then i move back to the little bathroom i move between the spaces people must not feel like they

00:48:17.140 have to use rooms the way they were designated i'm sorry but what are you what are you not treating

00:48:22.880 you know what have you just given over you came into the apartment oh that's for linens

00:48:27.040 i mean i don't live a life of linens like right i have like two towels where are your linens yeah

00:48:34.140 they're on the bed basically and like there's a second actually i i constructed a and by

00:48:39.060 construction i put together something i ordered one of those sliding wooden drawers that goes

00:48:44.060 under the bed oh yeah you showed me i did i believe oh yeah i didn't oh i think i did i need

00:48:50.620 um now that i have an office i need to um get into some serious organization because also i have

00:48:56.800 a linen closet in my hall that i have viewed that i shove all the poog stuff in but i also

00:49:03.180 have food in there i have like pasta like dried goods and then i also have my oils with rosamund

00:49:10.980 pike about the cool girl thing and the murder girl yeah remember how in the back there's that

00:49:17.880 shed filled with like stolen goods oh yeah wait what is that someone's credit card fraud or

00:49:24.700 something someone's ordering things yeah or they did it on the on the partners to like

00:49:28.820 and hit it from them so that then they would look like a criminal or something i don't know 0.78

00:49:33.880 it was like i don't i don't quite recall that just reminds me sometimes of like the poog 0.96

00:49:37.780 items um I use them like I really use them oh we want to be clear that we use them and by the way I

00:49:44.780 taking a page from you and what we've been talking about lately is like stop saving things like I'm

00:49:49.820 using like a body scrub like a Osea sent us yes some beautiful products there's a body scrub and

00:49:56.020 I was like well I'm not gonna you know I mean that should only be used 30 minutes before you're

00:50:00.480 having a lever over you know you know it's like what's the imagine body scrub moment yeah just

00:50:05.940 or i'll be like well i'm not going to use that scrub this morning because i might take a shower

00:50:09.140 okay well a blue jay has landed outside my window i repeat a blue jay has landed outside my window

00:50:14.480 i'm looking at two cats again but one cat is fully romeo and juliet like one well it's not

00:50:20.040 what it is one cat is sort of sunning itself performatively outside in front of the cat that

00:50:25.980 doesn't come outside who looks in the window and staring at him just like as if to say you think

00:50:32.320 that's impressive to me i don't know i love the other cat that is in the window because our cat

00:50:36.860 stays inside as well and so they have a kinship they look at each other across the way and then

00:50:40.540 there are the cats that roam i love it it's very very sweet i've lost so much time to shopping

00:50:46.760 this week i i don't go on social media really that much but but shopping has become an absolute

00:50:52.580 scrolling addiction that's when my thumb hurts i don't necessarily buy that much but i can't stop

00:50:57.960 deal hunting you love deals and tell me some of the deals you've been finding no i just i just

00:51:03.920 like i haven't even really found that many i just well actually i did inquire with someone about

00:51:09.720 their unitards on um instagram and they sent me the way of a sample sale site that was having an

00:51:15.040 adam selman sample sale and that was pretty exciting i got like 10 things oh yeah you sent

00:51:20.480 that to me shit i would never leave you out um i mean i got it i got to it at the very end but

00:51:26.160 i just want to tell you about the ergonomics so yeah please the moon lander i dare you to look it 0.97

00:51:34.800 up people i mean seriously it can only be seen to be believed okay it's not only is it a tenting

00:51:41.380 keyboard you know what that is it's a split keyboard but it tents it has these little things

00:51:45.880 so it can tent up and then your hands can relax to their sides just naturally they would fall and

00:51:51.060 you're typing like that and you could do it all with like a cat in your lap okay so which is which

00:51:57.140 is important so i realize it might be too much for you okay when i when i realize there's going

00:52:01.720 to be an onboarding call with the guy at moon lander i get on with him he's fabulous we talk

00:52:06.680 for like an hour okay we're just yeah we're talking about about keys about typing so i just

00:52:14.300 would love to see the correspondence like well well when did it get we started talking about

00:52:20.060 another thing that i'm into the free right um the free right is you might enjoy it it's it's

00:52:26.220 me and chris have them it's like looks like a typewriter it's just for word processing

00:52:30.160 it sends what you write you can't edit on it you can only like type and delete a little bit

00:52:35.680 and it sends to like whatever gmail i mean or whatever you choose what this sounds like all

00:52:42.200 i could ever need what are you talking about i know i'm surprised i haven't computer did it you

00:52:45.980 with it i'm tempted to run wait go get it right now hold on go get it right now i'll bring the

00:52:51.700 moon lander too so people run little girl run little girl all right first i'm just going to

00:52:58.680 show the moon lander because i've teased it i just need the people to know what i'm saying

00:53:02.600 split keyboard that's one half wow this is the other half that's a articulating wrist rest

00:53:10.840 everything's custom okay you choose your keys and then you choose what keys are gonna go out

00:53:17.020 it's a whole it's a whole world okay and for anyone who has pain and can get into this kind

00:53:21.840 of stuff it's very it's very exciting i'm and so but the reason well let me show you the free

00:53:28.200 right and then i'll tell you about my training yeah show me the free right because that sounds

00:53:30.780 like something i need in my life the spiritual experience are these i've paid through the nose 0.99

00:53:35.480 for to be clear yeah okay so this is my free right are you screaming what the fuck is that 0.97

00:53:40.220 beautiful right i think i'm gonna start crying i think that's what i need okay see i'm doing it 0.56

00:53:43.840 i'm like that's how i'm gonna because i have so much writing to do right now i'm like that's what

00:53:47.300 i need i just need to let the muse will come through me yes i mean that this is explain it

00:53:51.100 to me like the other day you're about to charge um see i haven't been writing on it so i've like

00:53:56.380 practically forgotten how to turn it on this is hysterical it's deeply not okay the words that

00:54:01.500 popped up from last time i was writing are not like inspired you want to see me worrying about

00:54:05.520 backup it just says should find a convenient place to store these not sure that google drive

00:54:10.280 is really doing it for me and then i like my navy curtains our morning pages morning pages when

00:54:16.460 typed i'm not convinced this is me talking to myself oh my god certainly still effective is

00:54:22.440 there a benefit still yes like chatting with one please show me the window i'm really overwhelmed

00:54:28.640 by this i need you to explain to me some more what this is so it's just the idea is that and

00:54:33.600 what let me guess so is the idea like wow this thing's not connected to the internet there's no

00:54:38.020 distracting well the definitely distracting and you can't like there's no mouse like so you can't

00:54:44.400 go up and and edit do you know what i mean like you can't go back and edit so a lot of people get

00:54:49.660 caught up in editing when they're supposed to be free reading you know what i mean like a lot of

00:54:53.740 people get caught up in they they don't they they stop they look at what they've written they

00:54:58.200 you know start editing it or critiquing it all that so this just keeps you in a forward

00:55:03.400 moving writing and you know i mean chris uses this constantly like it is chris is like and

00:55:12.060 it's really nice because listen to this oh yeah you get some real clicky clackies so it goes

00:55:19.240 directly into google drive or dropbox or whatever you choose but yeah but yeah it's like it syncs

00:55:26.220 you know it sends it it sends it to a folder and it has a handle i mean the thing that excites

00:55:33.360 me about it is it reminds me so much of a toy like it reminds me of a toy how much is that

00:55:37.980 i'm buying it today i'm not kidding i forget but it's at least a couple hundred dollars 0.85

00:55:41.720 oh shit you tell me if your work is worth it well because to me i'm like is this another 0.99

00:55:48.520 you know resistance model am i like that's what i need well i think i holy shit jack that's like 0.99

00:55:54.660 500 bucks i mean i need to write to make your you know if you're trying to make your living 0.67

00:56:01.160 off writing i i think you know and you're stingy elsewhere i mean you got to choose where you're 0.90

00:56:07.120 gonna holy shit and then there's one called the travel which how'd you hear about this 0.69

00:56:12.220 oh i you know i didn't hear about it you know what i mean i found it okay so you purchased 0.93

00:56:18.560 the keyboard no he sent it to me so kind oh yeah of course your colleague yeah and um and it was

00:56:25.440 just wonderful to talk about someone talk with someone who's like solving problems in their

00:56:29.900 world you know what i mean like set out and by the way their company not on instagram moonlander

00:56:34.900 is not on instagram okay and i was like but how am i gonna tag you you're not gonna get the business

00:56:40.500 you need and i'm like i guess the hags will just have to have to google moonlander but yeah it's

00:56:46.480 it's so it's columnar or whatever the keys lie in columns okay instead of staggered look at your

00:56:52.360 keyboard you see how they're staggered our fingers aren't supposed to move like that blah blah blah

00:56:56.540 right so they're lined up better and then whatever whole thing but anyway last night i decided

00:57:01.740 all right let's get our touch typing that we learned in second grade back on track and i

00:57:07.420 went in with this keyboard and i went to like a type training they have one they have a whole

00:57:11.740 module on the site but so i'm on and i'm staring at the screen and i'm i'm doing it and i'm getting

00:57:16.960 really pissed off at first because i'm like okay apparently it's literally impossible to get to the

00:57:21.140 end like with not due to this keyboard let me screaming a shill okay but just oh reaching for

00:57:28.080 an end apparently has always been a problem i struggle with it e and i apparently sometimes

00:57:32.500 i get confused and they're completely opposite sides of the keyboard but they both use the

00:57:36.500 middle finger i i came to know myself okay so i sat there and i may i wouldn't look down and i

00:57:43.760 stared at the thing remind me a little bit of playing piano and i was able to go into this

00:57:48.100 state that i was like holy shit okay where i was sort of thinking about my life but i was typing

00:57:52.360 these random or not random there's an algorithm that responds to your errors and serves you up

00:57:57.380 exactly what you need you know oh but these non these non-word uh strings of letters and i'm

00:58:03.560 copying them and i'm realizing i had i went to this very specific state where i don't know where

00:58:08.240 the letters are i couldn't tell you where r is right now okay okay could you like close your

00:58:13.220 eyes and tell you where r is on the keyboard no actually all right now if you had to because

00:58:19.600 your life depended on it without looking at the keyboard again could you get yourself closer to

00:58:23.700 the answer by closing your eyes and imagining typing um something where r lands in the middle

00:58:29.640 like uh gorgeous terrain yes then i can do it okay and where did you find it t i was exactly

00:58:37.160 right and you you because you hit it with your index finger and your left yeah yeah isn't that 0.96

00:58:42.320 fucking crazy so that's like living in you and you don't even realize it i just think that's like 0.95

00:58:48.420 and so it's this feeling like so i had to go into a state where i was like trying but then i would 0.99

00:58:53.540 go into this other state where it's sort of like let go and be like my body knows my body knows

00:58:58.820 and i it was the strangest feeling in the world i'm like i'm like okay full cyborgization don't

00:59:06.180 try for what somatization cyber organization oh funny i went the other way i went somatic yeah

00:59:14.140 yeah but it was like well no i but i experienced it as a profound like the the profound realization

00:59:22.040 was like no there are things in me that i know like and when i relax i can access them and that

00:59:30.300 just is devastating to the neurotic I know oh I was laughing about you having that you would have

00:59:36.580 scored higher on the SATs if you've been drunk oh yeah I mean say that again so the listener can

00:59:41.920 hear because I have to hear it again myself but the SAT thing if you relax no if there are things

00:59:46.420 so the realization like you know in a very specific visual form which was just served up

00:59:52.220 frankly by man my you know for lack of a better word energy healer uh that I that I work with

00:59:56.860 is kind of when you're clenching on things when you're not leaving space

01:00:00.060 when you clench down on something like you still the vibration

01:00:03.540 there's no room for for things to come in everything applies to that it's like um

01:00:09.360 the white knuckle grip that we we talk about a genius friend of mine a dear friend of mine

01:00:13.860 kelly said love is like soap if you hold it too tightly you know it slips out

01:00:18.160 it's true yeah that's good that's really nice

01:00:22.380 god that's really good i like that as you know i live for metaphor so in college i took

01:00:32.080 art classes painting classes okay and there was this exercise where they would have the live

01:00:40.800 model come in right and they would and we did this like speed exercise where they change poses

01:00:45.940 every like i guess like every minute and we do like a just what you know a gestural portrait

01:00:52.760 of them so they change position you go boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom and maybe it's 30

01:00:57.540 seconds i don't know but whatever it was it felt really fast switch the page they're moving into

01:01:01.800 a new position right i was infinitely better infinitely better my paintings were infinitely

01:01:09.660 better infinitely more and better forget better but yeah accurate looking like a person than when

01:01:18.200 i had an hour to do it yeah okay because dropping into the the gestural dropping the editor you had

01:01:26.760 to just yeah well it's also like you know how a line a line like a pen line is shakier if you

01:01:31.780 draw it slow you know what i mean well we all remember six feet under when claire is assigned

01:01:37.200 and like what the first day of her art school to draw the circle oh yeah or they have to draw

01:01:43.480 the circle but then there's a thing about breaking their eye open busting open the eye

01:01:46.640 I'm trying to break open my eye but it's this thing about drawing it's like to draw a circle

01:01:50.500 well like if you try to do it like slow and careful you won't get it and that to me it's

01:01:55.460 the same thing so I had it there I was sitting there and I was like this is like I'm like

01:01:58.740 thinking about other things and like my fingers are doing it and it's like it just has that 0.89

01:02:03.320 that feeling of fuck like okay I mean this is what I always do I try to apply the one thing to the 0.98

01:02:07.900 rest I get these dollar signs if I can do this what else can I do where else can I apply this 0.99

01:02:11.340 like where what is all the stuff that I don't know that I know and could be utilizing and that I

01:02:20.180 avoid just because someone says trust yourself and that bumper sticker doesn't really penetrate

01:02:25.900 doesn't do the trick yeah no it doesn't but I'm very excited for this to be this kind of nightly

01:02:31.700 so I have to train on the new keyboard and I'm retraining myself for pure touch typing and

01:02:36.940 it's going to be this exercise in that I think that's what's and I was having realizations I

01:02:41.960 actually was experiencing almost the hell of interiority like there were parts where I was

01:02:45.780 like I'm not happy about this like I was like here I am facing myself I was like hello like

01:02:50.520 hello I don't know there was just something like undirected yet contained by the task yeah yeah 0.91

01:02:56.920 wow wow okay well we have to go fuck i'm going to i think reach out to the free right people 0.99

01:03:06.440 and beg for a free smart type oh my god you see i feel fury all right hold on because i'm gonna 0.99

01:03:12.300 i doubt they'll give it to me i want a new i want the other one i want to try the traveler or

01:03:16.840 whatever okay like chris i'm freaking out because chris and i are like we've like chris enters the

01:03:21.700 contest daily to get like the hemingway there's like a special edition hemingway he like puts

01:03:26.220 So it's like, you might find it embarrassing.

01:03:28.580 I'm about to read up on the website.

01:03:30.060 This could be huge.

01:03:31.460 I should have gotten it for you. 0.99

01:03:32.320 Christmas, I'm a fool. 0.98

01:03:33.300 All right. 0.98

01:03:33.780 Love you.

01:03:34.360 I love you.

01:03:35.080 What an incredible life to live.

01:03:39.660 That was POOG.

01:03:41.860 If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review.

01:03:45.560 If not, we will press charges.

01:03:56.220 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

01:04:00.120 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

01:04:04.020 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

01:04:07.840 No, I am not your guru.

01:04:11.500 Back then, I lied to everybody.

01:04:13.820 They have had this case for 30 years.

01:04:16.740 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

01:04:20.240 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:04:26.220 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

01:04:30.560 He is edgy.

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01:04:39.640 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

01:04:44.900 That's why I'm scared to get married.

01:04:46.260 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

01:04:47.800 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthew.

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 18, 2022

The Hat

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