Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - The Nut Man

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:27.320 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:57.320 Chase Matthew, listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:00.880 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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00:01:34.840 Hi, I'm Kate Verlant.

00:01:36.300 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.400 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:42.120 Two untameable intellects.

00:01:43.900 This is our hobby. 0.93

00:01:44.760 This is our hell.

00:01:45.620 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.880 This is POOG.

00:01:49.320 Today's topic, loosely speaking, petty theft, jar of nuts, bowing topless.

00:01:55.300 hello hello hello oh i miss you i am i miss you hello it's great to see you um i'm drinking

00:02:05.820 some essentia the other day i was just gonna tell you this is the one thing i wrote down

00:02:09.420 it's like chris procured some water for me okay and he came back and he's like they didn't have

00:02:16.560 any essentia he's like so i got you core okay and he pulled out this this core oh yeah i've

00:02:22.260 I've never seen that.

00:02:22.800 I've never purchased.

00:02:23.600 He goes, I just look for the one with the most promises.

00:02:27.540 Isn't that amazing?

00:02:28.620 Yeah, that's good.

00:02:30.220 The water.

00:02:31.000 The water.

00:02:32.080 The things they promise with the water.

00:02:33.900 The things they promise now.

00:02:35.600 Even just seeing that.

00:02:36.260 I mean, bottled water.

00:02:38.280 When did it come onto the scene?

00:02:39.480 In the 80s?

00:02:40.320 Was that when it became like a full status object?

00:02:44.280 I think fine water did in that time.

00:02:47.860 I am so thirsty.

00:02:50.120 You had the bottles of Avion probably.

00:02:51.700 Right?

00:02:51.860 Just seeing you, I'm dehydrated.

00:02:54.780 I'm staying at my parents' house.

00:02:57.200 I'm visiting them.

00:02:58.660 And the anger I feel toward their water,

00:03:03.040 and I regressed, they get sparklets delivery.

00:03:07.880 What is that?

00:03:09.560 Sparklets is like, I don't even know,

00:03:12.520 but they come in these gallon jugs,

00:03:13.940 obviously the waste, whatever, but-

00:03:15.520 It's water?

00:03:16.620 It's the taste of the water.

00:03:18.260 It tastes like plastic.

00:03:19.320 Ew.

00:03:19.560 it's in these thick kind of bizarre cloudy plastic it it makes me it tastes so bad and i look at my

00:03:27.160 mother's eyes and i go how do you live like a milk jug i mean like a like an old jug of milk

00:03:30.920 like a big old jug yeah that opaque plastic it is just unbearable and so i'm on water i'm on um

00:03:37.860 water strike there and i went two days are you ready for this you know i'm gonna admit to a

00:03:46.660 crime on poog. No. Havery? No, Kate, why are you so cheap? Why? Kate, you don't have to be.

00:03:56.120 I stole. No. I stole a mountain valley water. From a store? Yeah. I am. Okay. This is clearly.

00:04:06.280 This is compulsive behavior. This is compulsive behavior. This is emotions because I was at the

00:04:09.660 airport and I stole a travel pack of a little, I went, so I have a thing where, and again,

00:04:13.640 this is entitlement. We cannot, you know, go without saying all of the layers, the obvious

00:04:19.180 layers that I could use or the obvious layers I could unpack here. But I just mean, it must mean

00:04:24.180 some kind of internal emotional distress because I was at the airport and out of anger for there

00:04:30.280 not being a layover, I was like, out of my anger for having to take a layover because of no direct

00:04:35.720 flights out of pittsburgh i shoplifted a little tuna like snack on the go pack i find this utterly

00:04:45.460 astonishing i can't believe it i really i i hated it by the way it wasn't good wasn't worth it but

00:04:52.880 yeah what what do you think well yeah you you can't believe it because the thought would never

00:04:58.500 occur to you and it would make you too nervous well i mean it's a high baby it's a high right

00:05:04.160 right i mean well certainly the i mean for some reason i you know had to steal for survival okay

00:05:10.880 uh yeah i'd be very nervous but no the thought would not occur to me the thought never occurs

00:05:15.960 to me and um why i guess because it's you know wrong is it though no i mean i mean i say that

00:05:25.520 because um i think it's humorous to have the most obvious like like because i'm like i i there's

00:05:33.660 like i'm having trouble um unpacking my lack of desire to steal i only do petty theft i've never

00:05:41.600 stolen anything that was worth over eight dollars ceremonial matcha yeah ceremonial matcha is coming

00:05:49.360 in around 45 right no but i um i yeah i haven't stolen a long time the line for you i was like

00:05:57.560 oh like there was here's what is kind of creepy there was no line

00:06:01.240 and you know those you know those hudson is it about money there's no there are no doors

00:06:07.020 i mean i'm trying to take away everything the inflation to me there's inflation yeah

00:06:12.100 that has uniquely affected you that has uniquely affected you no but i'm just like you want me to 0.98

00:06:19.120 pay six dollars for this shit and who who actually benefits from you paying for this 0.99

00:06:25.800 it's not the people working at the store oh wow you know what i mean it's not for the people on 1.00

00:06:31.540 the factory line you are who am i paying here you're presenting it you're presenting it as a

00:06:35.780 as a as activism yes yes you really are i mean it's bold um well you know if i mean i'm not trying

00:06:44.780 to uh defend the big company that that presents the tuna uh i mean that you know ships the tuna

00:06:51.160 know, to the airport or whatever. Okay. I know nothing of their practices. It certainly

00:06:55.000 doesn't, you stealing, it certainly doesn't lead to them paying their employees more.

00:07:01.180 They don't. They factor it into the annual budget, losses, petty theft. No, I mean, I

00:07:07.080 mean, yeah, yeah. It's, it's, I guess like, no, it's interesting from, I mean, I guess

00:07:13.160 sort of

00:07:15.160 I guess what it is

00:07:19.000 I guess what it really comes down to is

00:07:20.800 the

00:07:22.080 if everyone did it right

00:07:24.700 I mean that's the thing

00:07:26.040 so you're like

00:07:28.240 you know they

00:07:30.080 they factor in

00:07:33.400 they factor it in and it's like

00:07:35.640 you're I mean you know what I mean right

00:07:37.340 like you do see that right

00:07:39.320 no I see it I see it

00:07:40.840 And I even felt a pang of, I don't know if guilt is the right word,

00:07:45.400 but actually, no, it was purely just selfish.

00:07:48.440 Oh, my God, Jacqueline, I got someone kicked off the plane.

00:07:50.520 I forgot to tell you.

00:07:51.380 Mask related?

00:07:52.740 Yeah.

00:07:53.680 Whoa.

00:07:56.380 So you're sitting there eating your stolen tuna.

00:07:59.120 So I ate my stolen tuna.

00:08:00.220 And you say, what else can I take away?

00:08:02.120 I didn't even finish it.

00:08:03.460 I didn't even finish the tuna so bad.

00:08:05.600 Also, I was rushing, and I'm not taking tuna on a plane.

00:08:08.280 I'm not insane.

00:08:09.000 Right.

00:08:09.180 So I ate it, hurried outside the gate, toss it.

00:08:12.960 I see this guy, no mask, hanging out around the gate.

00:08:16.400 Wait, hold on.

00:08:17.060 White guy with dreadlocks.

00:08:18.660 Hold on.

00:08:19.660 So immediately my sympathy is gone.

00:08:21.200 I'm very excited.

00:08:21.780 Okay, we have to hear the rest of the story.

00:08:23.020 But because I know we're going to get this story,

00:08:24.620 I feel it's safe to pause you briefly.

00:08:26.620 Okay, to point out, I believe,

00:08:28.600 see, I think you can take tuna on the plane

00:08:31.200 because I think plane and plane goers

00:08:33.680 account for the margin error that is me eating tuna.

00:08:38.620 See, yes, if everyone ate tuna on the plane, it'd be a disaster.

00:08:42.700 We'd be fine.

00:08:43.720 Oh, oh, oh.

00:08:44.160 No, well, also true.

00:08:45.260 Yeah, if everyone ate tuna, absolutely, yeah.

00:08:47.880 But anyway, it's an example of that sort of margin era mentality

00:08:51.760 where you're going, today I'm the one taking a penny.

00:08:55.240 Oh, my God.

00:08:56.160 Tomorrow it's you.

00:08:56.840 Right, right, right, of course.

00:08:57.320 And you think you're taking a penny.

00:08:58.460 But I think we should get you to stop stealing.

00:09:03.380 I think it could be good for you.

00:09:05.800 But by the way, I just want to say something.

00:09:06.960 i haven't stolen in a long time like many many many many months right right there i say a year

00:09:12.700 it's been it's really kind of out of my system airports are a huge trigger because i just no

00:09:18.900 it's fascinating and i i am so annoyed to be there it's very i don't and it's so sold like

00:09:24.720 there is no feeling of like you can't even tip at an airport that's not true you can tip if you

00:09:31.480 eat at a restaurant but like you can't you can't do you know what i mean like it feels like this

00:09:37.580 like vacuous space of commerce where they're it's so abstract that for me to steal a tuna

00:09:43.880 a can of tuna from an airport store it's like no i guess it's just sheer entitlement and feeling

00:09:50.880 completely invincible no i feel i just want to say i feel like the conversation on the stealing

00:09:55.300 it's almost impossible to have even the conversation.

00:10:00.700 But my point being, yeah, I think I wonder what may open up for you

00:10:06.840 if you were to just not.

00:10:10.560 And I know it's, you know.

00:10:13.100 Is it emotional addiction?

00:10:14.300 I think it's emotional addiction.

00:10:15.360 It's being addicted to that, the heart racing.

00:10:18.880 I mean, you get a little bit of a thrill.

00:10:22.000 Are you kidding?

00:10:23.460 I get a huge thrill.

00:10:24.680 I mean, what would be another thrill you could get at the airport?

00:10:26.600 My hand started flashing instead.

00:10:29.400 Well, I was a flasher as a kid.

00:10:30.980 Right, of course.

00:10:31.620 Maybe it's time to bring that back. 1.00

00:10:32.500 I used to show my vagina at school, yeah. 1.00

00:10:34.260 Maybe not vagina. 0.99

00:10:35.520 I'm trying to think what would be a little safely 0.97

00:10:40.600 for you to get out your desire for thrills at the airport, you know?

00:10:46.480 Yeah.

00:10:48.240 I don't know.

00:10:48.940 No, I mean, it's just whatever.

00:10:50.820 i'm being deeply like i'm bringing us down and i'm sorry no no all right all right wait wait i'm

00:11:01.080 sorry get back to the give me the story about the guy and are you like are you regretting talking

00:11:05.840 about stealing like because i've made it such a bummer no no no not at all i only regretting it

00:11:11.060 only because i'm like is this entertaining you know i don't know right um but but i see this

00:11:16.840 guy outside the terminal or by the gate rather not wearing a mask white guy with dreadlocks

00:11:22.180 flip-flops so unacceptable i don't mind a flip-flop on a plane i'm like wow whereas i do 0.96

00:11:29.400 and this man i just was like this fucking guy with no mask on why because at least the guy 0.95

00:11:35.780 with the flip-flop hasn't been sweating in his shoes okay his foot has been dry all morning 0.98

00:11:42.380 Dry and clean and aired out.

00:11:43.840 You don't know that.

00:11:44.380 It could be wet down there.

00:11:45.580 No.

00:11:46.460 How could it be wet?

00:11:47.240 Never.

00:11:48.660 You could still sweat on a flip-flop.

00:11:50.320 Yeah, but it doesn't turn into foot odor because it's not contained.

00:11:53.620 I see.

00:11:54.360 So you have the, I mean, I'd much rather a flip-flop 0.82

00:11:56.980 when someone take off their disgusting shoes. 0.79

00:11:58.880 Well, of course. 0.93

00:11:59.760 Release their feet. 0.94

00:12:00.860 That's completely unacceptable. 1.00

00:12:02.500 All right, go on.

00:12:04.200 Anyway, I'm sitting, you know, in aisle 22, right?

00:12:08.140 I'm like back there.

00:12:08.940 I'm on the aisle.

00:12:09.460 then I see the man

00:12:11.040 coming toward me 0.99

00:12:11.720 wearing a gaiter 1.00

00:12:12.520 I believe they're called

00:12:13.260 which is not a mask

00:12:14.100 it does nothing

00:12:14.720 it's the thing that guys wear

00:12:15.880 because they're like 0.97

00:12:16.340 I'm not gay

00:12:17.660 no no no 0.99

00:12:20.100 you're actually

00:12:20.840 completely correct

00:12:21.800 because it

00:12:22.720 traps it

00:12:23.460 it makes the aerosols

00:12:24.400 it like hyper aerosolizes

00:12:25.780 or something

00:12:26.180 so when you breathe

00:12:26.800 out of one of those 0.97

00:12:27.500 gaiter things

00:12:28.120 it like goes 0.99

00:12:28.940 fucking everywhere 0.99

00:12:29.920 you've made a fine mist 1.00

00:12:30.720 you've made a mist

00:12:31.520 it's worse than

00:12:32.220 not wearing a mask

00:12:32.940 okay

00:12:33.160 hysterical

00:12:33.760 and the fact that

00:12:34.580 they're even allowed

00:12:35.280 on a plane 0.55

00:12:35.780 it's disgusting

00:12:36.340 it's like they're wearing

00:12:37.000 a tiny

00:12:37.480 like yeah mister on their mouth yeah to make sure the most repulsive of the aerosol can get on

00:12:44.940 everybody so he has one of those around his neck so it's easy to pull down right so he's 1.00

00:12:49.060 walking toward me no mask his disgusting stupid face just out there everyone else is wearing a 1.00

00:12:54.940 mask obviously sits down takes out of his backpack a and he's in the aisle he's not in my aisle he's 1.00

00:13:00.840 bed across from me okay takes out a gigantic jar of nuts that he brought from home first of all

00:13:08.420 i mean a foraged jar major allergen but you know major allergen hello huge so just and i'm talking

00:13:14.780 about a liter jar i'm furious i'm sorry wait wait this is flying this is not flying out of california

00:13:20.120 this is this is this is flying denver to la okay oh so he's a denver nuts and i'm like oh it's a

00:13:26.540 prop because the rule is that you know if you can eat right so like he's holding the jar it's a 0.92

00:13:32.140 fucking prop so but i but i'm monitoring him with a hawk's eye and that has not touched his mouth 0.95

00:13:39.440 okay so the entire brain is open did he open it how far did he go with the prop is the jar 0.99

00:13:44.500 open the jar's open okay so it's like as if he's in the middle of eating as if i'm talking about

00:13:50.400 10 minutes past 15 minutes past the flight is is fully bored at this point just no mask just

00:13:55.680 sitting there looking at videos on his phone are you raging the flight attendant i am

00:14:01.640 trembling with rage and by the way moments earlier the man next to me in the middle

00:14:06.760 yes he took a sip of his water and then his mask is just hanging out under his chin and i go i'm

00:14:12.660 gonna let that happen for about 30 more seconds and then time passes i get i'm scared to say

00:14:16.960 something and then i just say i'm really sorry to bother would you bother you would you mind

00:14:20.320 putting your mask on okay and he were he wordlessly puts it over his mouth and nose

00:14:24.560 wordlessly in a way that you were okay which is fine no i'm totally fine with i just mean like

00:14:29.020 like like i'm glad i did it no no i'm blown away because then you did the simplest version and i

00:14:34.560 almost didn't do it because it's so uncomfortable i know so then he's sitting right next to me you 0.85

00:14:38.540 know so anyway so this nut man he's over there being repulsive oh so then a flight attendant 0.57

00:14:44.660 walks by and goes, sir, would you put your mask on? And he does nothing. She leaves, they're doing 0.90

00:14:51.240 all their stuff. She didn't wait for him to do it? No, no. Then she walks by again and she's not

00:14:57.300 even glancing at him. And I say, excuse me, could you please tell him to put his mask on? It hasn't

00:15:01.420 been on this whole time. Amazing. Did you purposely do it audibly? It was not. I didn't whisper it.

00:15:07.260 I didn't do it loud. I did it quietly. I didn't want him to hear me. You weren't angling for him

00:15:11.600 to hear you no absolutely not i didn't want to engage with him at all she then says to him sir

00:15:16.420 can you please put your mask on i don't want to have to ask you again or something like that not

00:15:19.680 even that hostile and he goes jesus lady i'm eating okay no my silence is i am no i know it

00:15:29.700 was and it was really hostile i mean obviously and she goes excuse me and he's like i'm eating

00:15:35.520 and she goes your mask is supposed to come on between bites oh hell yeah a bite of something

00:15:41.220 you know and then she walks away and he kind of does a big look oh my god kind of one of these 0.98

00:15:46.060 things and then aerosols again she comes back again and then he goes this is bullshit no and 0.94

00:15:54.880 then she goes she goes she goes absolutely not she's like we're gonna have to get you off this 0.99

00:15:58.540 plane if you keep talking like that then her colleague comes over he starts saying sir like 0.99

00:16:03.160 you have to be mass compliant you're not gonna be on the plane he goes you're on some fucking 0.98

00:16:06.700 power trip he said that yes and he goes do not use language like that again wait or something 0.98

00:16:11.960 it's who said that the flight attendant says that the flight attendant says that okay the new guy

00:16:15.420 flight attendant that comes over meaning the power trip thing and then yeah no yeah the the nutman 0.90

00:16:21.180 says you're on some fucking no right he's like do not use language like that again oh my god i'm 0.88

00:16:26.080 shaking uncontrollably with a rage it has every i'm holding a book open in my lap oh yeah i'm just 0.98

00:16:32.160 I'm staring at the same page.

00:16:34.800 Your head is turned into a full 90.

00:16:37.900 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:39.400 And then they go away.

00:16:41.640 He puts on his gator. 1.00

00:16:42.800 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:16:43.320 We got, wait, we have to, we have to, um, we have to continue this after the break. 1.00

00:16:47.600 Okay, after the break.

00:16:51.600 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:16:55.660 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:17:00.240 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune

00:17:04.760 It was hard to wrap your head around

00:17:06.020 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs

00:17:09.460 So no, I am not your guru

00:17:13.040 And back then, I lied to my parents

00:17:15.860 I lied to police

00:17:17.120 I lied to everybody

00:17:18.240 There were years right where I could not say your name

00:17:21.220 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California

00:17:23.860 Interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists

00:17:26.780 Whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened

00:17:30.100 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:17:34.860 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:17:37.780 I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:17:40.800 Boom, boom. 1.00

00:17:42.120 This is The Red Weather.

00:17:45.120 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:17:52.020 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:17:55.940 He is edgy.

00:17:56.780 He's fun.

00:17:57.780 He is Chase Matthews.

00:17:59.260 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:18:02.020 but it's his recent number one hit darling that put Chase on the map

00:18:05.020 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:18:10.280 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:18:11.620 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:18:13.000 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:18:15.920 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:18:19.240 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:18:28.040 So we're back.

00:18:29.260 And the story continues.

00:18:31.540 I, of course, forgot where I left off.

00:18:33.240 Okay, I can tell you exactly.

00:18:34.660 Your head is tilted 90 degrees.

00:18:36.380 So I'm listening.

00:18:37.080 I'm shaking.

00:18:37.680 The guy walks away.

00:18:38.480 I'm sorry.

00:18:38.800 The flight attendants walk away.

00:18:40.100 The guy pulls his gator up.

00:18:41.680 The gator's up.

00:18:42.380 I repeat, the gator's up.

00:18:43.460 Wait, hold on.

00:18:44.340 Yeah.

00:18:44.620 Did he pull it up and then they left?

00:18:46.520 Yeah, he pulls it up.

00:18:47.560 They left.

00:18:47.780 Okay.

00:18:48.320 And then, of course, as you can imagine, 30 seconds later, it's down again. 1.00

00:18:52.240 What a piece of fucking shit. 1.00

00:18:54.020 What a piece of fucking shit. 1.00

00:18:55.780 I'm not even mentioning it's a completely full flight. 1.00

00:18:58.160 There's an elderly woman in his row.

00:19:00.120 You know, I mean, it just goes on.

00:19:01.840 Well, my other question I really want to get into is other people,

00:19:04.280 but we'll talk about that after.

00:19:05.320 No one else cared.

00:19:05.980 I was the only one that cared. 0.99

00:19:06.720 Are you fucking joking? 0.99

00:19:08.020 So then I go, you know what? 1.00

00:19:10.680 Absolutely not.

00:19:11.340 We haven't taken off yet.

00:19:12.200 I get up out of my seat.

00:19:13.260 I go to the back of the plane and I say,

00:19:16.080 I'm so sorry to bother you with this,

00:19:17.700 but that passenger is refusing to wear his mask.

00:19:20.560 It's clearly an ego thing for him.

00:19:22.140 He's just not going to wear it.

00:19:23.040 Did you say ego?

00:19:24.040 Yeah.

00:19:24.320 That's amazing.

00:19:25.180 I love that.

00:19:25.680 You in the galley?

00:19:26.420 You in the galley?

00:19:27.140 Me in the galley.

00:19:27.600 I go, he's just not going to do it.

00:19:29.140 He's just not going to do it.

00:19:30.560 And she was very cool.

00:19:32.520 She was like, okay.

00:19:33.460 I go back to my seat.

00:19:34.580 I'm sitting there wondering what's going to happen.

00:19:37.020 The plane just stops moving.

00:19:39.480 And then this other guy appears out of nowhere.

00:19:42.900 I didn't see him come on the plane.

00:19:44.080 I don't even know what happened.

00:19:44.820 But he goes over and he says,

00:19:46.300 sir, I'm afraid because you're not being mass compliant.

00:19:48.620 And then his gator is on, of course, at this point

00:19:50.640 because he saw someone coming for him.

00:19:52.400 They're like, you're not being mass compliant.

00:19:54.200 We're going to have to eject you from the plane or whatever.

00:19:56.140 he goes he goes i was just eating and i put it on when i wasn't eating or whatever and he was like

00:20:02.060 you were speaking with the flight attendants in an inappropriate way and we're gonna have to ask

00:20:06.060 you to leave and without a fight he leaves which i was like well good and it only delayed the flight

00:20:11.680 15 minutes now when the pilot came on and he goes the pilot comes so the guy's the guy's gone

00:20:18.060 and the pilot comes on and says sorry for the delay folks we had to deal with a mask with a

00:20:23.940 mask compliance issue beautiful and i just want to say not only did no yeah i felt that no one

00:20:30.740 cared so then i started to hear murmuring from behind the row behind the guy and this guy starts 0.89

00:20:36.060 to say like the rule's stupid like if you're allowed to eat then you know something i just 0.94

00:20:41.460 hear murmuring being like no meaning like basically like the guy shouldn't have been kicked off right 0.99

00:20:46.800 story so much so that i start to feel guilty and then i go on this little spiral i go what if i

00:20:52.000 just killed someone what if that delay do you know what i mean where it's like a fate or just

00:20:56.160 the startling reality of timing of like the fight was delayed 15 minutes someone's now going to die

00:21:00.540 because they're going to be walking down the street and then the thing that's falling from

00:21:04.060 the third story building is going to hit them but if we if i hadn't delayed the flight by kicking

00:21:07.300 the guy off the plane then he would be alive you know of course start doing that meanwhile no such

00:21:12.000 thinking around if i got in line for the tuna okay who's dead might have prevented by getting

00:21:18.820 in line you know whatever but anyway i'm and i feel guilty and the way that he the way he left

00:21:25.880 without a fight made me almost then also feel bad for him because i'm like this is someone who feels

00:21:31.040 so completely out of control of their own psychic world right they're unable to comply with something

00:21:35.780 like that they look around they see every single other person wearing a mask and they feel that

00:21:41.720 their only way to have some kind of control over the chaos that surrounds us yes is this their 0.94

00:21:47.820 little fucking rebellion i mean you understand though that what the words you were describing 0.99

00:21:52.020 are i mean you are right now describing a perfect summation that you could about your own tuna 0.98

00:22:00.200 like beautifully like correct feel so out of control i accept that i know i know you do

00:22:06.740 i mean i'm not saying it like you don't even know it's just hysterical you're right it's

00:22:10.920 It's my own little, you're right.

00:22:13.200 You're like, it's his own little rebellion. 0.99

00:22:16.000 This pathetic little rebellion. 1.00

00:22:17.140 This pathetic out of control. 1.00

00:22:18.000 Everyone else is wearing their masks. 1.00

00:22:19.900 Everyone else is following the rules.

00:22:20.880 And he decides.

00:22:21.640 Everyone else is paying for the tuna.

00:22:22.620 I know.

00:22:23.360 No, you're right.

00:22:23.840 It's hysterical.

00:22:24.660 It's absolutely adolescent.

00:22:26.540 It's absolutely.

00:22:27.300 I'm not saying even any of those things.

00:22:28.880 I'm merely saying it's hysterical.

00:22:30.640 I don't feel attacked.

00:22:31.220 I don't feel criticized.

00:22:32.280 I feel seen.

00:22:34.380 You're completely correct.

00:22:35.620 You're completely correct.

00:22:36.360 I am.

00:22:37.500 Yeah, you're totally correct.

00:22:40.060 And I'm not.

00:22:40.520 but I am not

00:22:41.480 I want to be clear

00:22:42.300 I also am not

00:22:43.320 even drawing it

00:22:44.040 as a

00:22:44.420 saying that it's

00:22:45.280 a direct comparison

00:22:46.040 like the two things

00:22:47.080 I know that

00:22:47.580 because yeah

00:22:48.440 I think

00:22:49.160 mask non

00:22:50.600 well wait

00:22:51.220 I have a couple

00:22:51.640 more questions

00:22:52.200 so I'm thinking

00:22:52.960 one

00:22:53.400 I'm thinking

00:22:53.820 the guy behind you

00:22:54.880 or behind him

00:22:55.980 maybe he only heard

00:22:57.440 the I'm eating

00:22:58.120 and by the way

00:22:58.780 the plot thickens

00:22:59.680 in a really great way

00:23:00.480 but keep going

00:23:01.040 okay so I'm starting

00:23:01.940 to imagine

00:23:02.240 that maybe that guy

00:23:03.200 isn't anti-mask

00:23:04.960 maybe he thought

00:23:06.100 that guy like

00:23:06.740 actually did sort of

00:23:07.700 unfairly get like 0.99

00:23:08.820 fucked 0.99

00:23:09.160 like in other words 0.99

00:23:10.220 What I mean is maybe that guy is thinking the rules should just be you can't eat.

00:23:14.640 I mean, first of all, they already practically don't let you eat.

00:23:19.100 I mean, in the sense of just the starvation. 1.00

00:23:21.520 I mean, like I couldn't believe that the red eye didn't serve like a steak up off. 1.00

00:23:29.180 Steak up off at 2 a.m.

00:23:31.160 No, completely.

00:23:32.400 So when I was on a plane, I was flown, again, please forgive me.

00:23:37.840 I was flown first class for work, okay?

00:23:39.580 I've never paid for a first class ticket myself, of course not.

00:23:42.780 And the great thing about first class is you're going to be drinking champagne,

00:23:45.520 you're eating ravioli, right?

00:23:46.880 So I go up there and I was already scared.

00:23:49.440 I was already scared.

00:23:50.300 I was like, I don't think I'm going to take my mask off to enjoy, you know, a Caesar.

00:23:53.760 Like I just don't see that happening.

00:23:55.380 But I kind of thought, you know what, why not?

00:23:58.020 Much to my sadness, there's no ravioli in sight.

00:24:01.180 And all they're offering are crackers.

00:24:02.760 This is a first class ticket.

00:24:03.840 all you're getting is a box is a little jerky box with some spreadable gouda from the center of hell

00:24:10.380 and so i've really gotten into this i won't lie the saver box i eat the whole box the saver box

00:24:17.580 nitrates yeah i hand my credit card over which i think i'm like this feels i always think it

00:24:24.220 feels behind like the fact that like you're on the plane and you want to buy stuff it feels like it

00:24:29.800 should quote go on the room like like you already have my credit card information charge me later

00:24:34.560 like the fact that i'm passing a credit card very old i'm reaching out with a credit card

00:24:39.940 across people's faces my credit card is flying past someone's face like it's just weird do you

00:24:45.160 know i mean like it's like it's not there's something it's just it's not a it just doesn't

00:24:50.440 feel like a good interact it's just it should be better i would and i would buy more if it were

00:24:54.040 just like if it were just like tapping the screen and they were like they were like this will go on

00:24:58.720 the card you use to buy the flight.

00:25:00.620 I also just don't understand why they don't have...

00:25:02.480 I mean, I can't if I'm saying this.

00:25:03.640 Why aren't there better options up there?

00:25:05.340 But that's where you make your money.

00:25:07.340 You have some tasty options up there.

00:25:09.280 People are desperate.

00:25:09.920 Get the flight cheap.

00:25:11.540 Keep the flight cheap.

00:25:12.880 Bring down the flight of the...

00:25:14.080 Bring the menu items.

00:25:15.300 It's the app system.

00:25:16.720 You know, when you download an app

00:25:17.980 and it says in-app purchases are available.

00:25:20.600 So it's like a free app,

00:25:21.700 but then they're going to charge you

00:25:22.720 once you're in the app.

00:25:23.760 Right, brilliant.

00:25:24.880 I mean, and also like they are fully capable.

00:25:26.640 if they have the technology in that metal tube

00:25:29.660 to lift the plane off the ground,

00:25:31.640 I feel they have the technology possibly

00:25:33.860 to create a nice meal.

00:25:36.200 Like why?

00:25:38.400 Oh, there was a thing at the airport

00:25:39.660 that like made coffee like a robot

00:25:41.720 and it was pretty exciting.

00:25:43.000 It was a Costa.

00:25:44.140 Like a person?

00:25:45.100 Like a machine man?

00:25:46.660 Like, well, it's actually,

00:25:48.440 I've seen a lot of robots cropping up.

00:25:49.800 I was in a grocery store,

00:25:50.740 I saw a robot come rolling down the aisle

00:25:52.520 like,

00:25:52.940 was he singing?

00:25:56.320 Really?

00:25:56.640 no no sorry i just mean i saw us bringing what did he have nothing he appeared to just be observing

00:26:02.960 he's trying to catch people like me he's trying to catch people who are oh right gonna gonna let

00:26:09.460 something fall off the shelves looking over your shoulder and um being caught by an automated i

00:26:15.320 know well that's what's staring at you yeah i mean surveillance will be the end of us it already is

00:26:20.000 but um yeah okay okay okay wait take me more okay keep it I just want to stop one more time and say

00:26:27.800 the reason that I stopped throughout the stories okay and want every detail and I can't explain

00:26:31.920 I need them I need every detail please please please because I'm crushed as I tell the story

00:26:36.280 that's not entertaining I'm crushed as it's no no this is any story to me okay great all right okay

00:26:41.140 so I okay so then the flight happens right and again I really am kind of racked with this guilt 0.97

00:26:47.080 of like oh god this guy is so pathetic 0.98

00:26:49.300 and like what and then I concocted this 1.00

00:26:51.160 big elaborate narrative of

00:26:52.960 maybe he was flying home to see his like

00:26:55.280 ill parent or something

00:26:57.240 do you know and like he's already the 0.98

00:26:59.220 fuck up in the family he would have mentioned it 0.82

00:27:01.180 and like right he would have mentioned it 0.99

00:27:03.200 so right yeah okay

00:27:04.920 so

00:27:05.540 you'll recall earlier my

00:27:09.080 reference to the man beside me who I asked

00:27:11.060 very politely from Nicole's mascot

00:27:13.000 the flight lands

00:27:14.820 he turns to me

00:27:17.320 he offers a pound

00:27:18.860 he offers his fist in a pound

00:27:20.880 yeah he goes I'm dying

00:27:22.780 I don't know if you pound but

00:27:24.540 and I kind of I pound his fist and he goes

00:27:26.620 I want to commend you for standing up with you

00:27:28.520 oh my god I'm dying

00:27:30.300 I'm sobbing I can't get it out

00:27:32.280 I can't get it out

00:27:33.380 he says

00:27:34.640 I want to commend you for standing up for what you believe in

00:27:38.460 and he goes and I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable

00:27:40.540 with my mask being off

00:27:42.240 I nearly

00:27:43.900 I am sobbing. Stood up. I nearly stood up, took off my top, bowed to him and devoted my life

00:27:52.580 to him. Okay. Let's take a minute with this. Yeah. Okay. I need to fill it out. I need to

00:27:59.060 fill it out. He was one of the last people to board the plane, this guy. I'm sitting there

00:28:03.200 going, okay, there's great details here. I'm shaking. I'm sitting there going, I got a free

00:28:08.740 middle seat here, folks. Cause there's a woman with a baby on the window, then middle seat, 1.00

00:28:12.240 than myself no one's coming no one's coming for the middle i go okay okay okay then at the last

00:28:17.020 minute here comes this guy ambling down the the aisle he's like in my mind like he's like six

00:28:26.040 eight but who knows sitting in a like sitting in an aisle seat and like your eyes like i'm just

00:28:32.860 picturing your unblinking eyes this is a ticket i purchased the night before so it was so expensive

00:28:38.080 and I was seated and just going,

00:28:41.160 of course it's me.

00:28:42.560 It's going to be me.

00:28:43.180 So he's walking toward me.

00:28:45.820 He's got, he's giant.

00:28:48.340 He's like so tall,

00:28:49.300 just like a huge trunk of a man.

00:28:51.100 He has a backpack on

00:28:52.240 and then he has a plastic black bag

00:28:54.600 stuffed with like a sweatshirt

00:28:56.040 and like other garbage and stuff.

00:28:57.920 And he comes running down the aisle 0.94

00:28:59.760 and I go, no, no, no, no, no.

00:29:01.360 And then he points at the middle and goes,

00:29:03.020 yep, that's me.

00:29:03.960 And then I go, you know, 1.00

00:29:05.120 I'm obviously an asshole. 0.99

00:29:06.480 I get up, I'm like, hi. 1.00

00:29:07.420 he sits down he goes I swear I showered today

00:29:09.500 or something and I was like

00:29:10.640 okay well I don't like that and then he goes

00:29:13.160 I guess I'll just have to

00:29:13.920 he asks me and this

00:29:17.300 for some reason annoyed me he was like

00:29:19.120 is there any overhead space left

00:29:21.080 and I said oh I have no idea

00:29:23.280 and I didn't like that to myself

00:29:26.700 I said why am I hostile I wasn't hostile but I didn't like that I felt angry

00:29:29.440 okay now I'm going way too

00:29:30.700 I'm going way too micro with the details

00:29:33.040 actually you're not literally at all

00:29:35.280 do you understand this is the difference

00:29:37.020 This adds to the overall because I left.

00:29:40.720 So I was a little annoyed at him.

00:29:42.480 I was a little like, oh, God, oh, no.

00:29:43.680 He sits down.

00:29:44.500 He has his bag in his lap.

00:29:46.540 He's taking up a lot of room.

00:29:47.280 I've got to be honest.

00:29:47.780 I'm fine.

00:29:48.220 I'm in the aisle.

00:29:49.220 That's why I prefer an aisle because then I can angle myself toward the aisle.

00:29:52.260 I'll have more room.

00:29:52.840 Okay.

00:29:54.600 This baby, he starts kind of interacting with this baby in a very sweet way, I noticed.

00:29:57.940 I have my headphones on, so I'm not really listening to the words that are happening,

00:30:00.500 but he's kind of making this baby laugh, doing very simple motions.

00:30:02.720 I'm like, this is interesting.

00:30:04.140 I wonder how the woman feels about that.

00:30:05.460 She loved it. 0.90

00:30:06.160 She's eating it up.

00:30:06.740 and then I hear him go

00:30:08.040 and he was kind of distracted

00:30:10.260 he was like putting stuff in his bag

00:30:11.200 he goes

00:30:11.480 this I did hear

00:30:12.680 he goes

00:30:12.960 yep I've got a

00:30:13.740 I've got a 10 year old

00:30:14.480 a 5 year old

00:30:14.980 and a 2 year old

00:30:15.540 and I was like

00:30:17.420 the lives people lead

00:30:19.640 okay anyway

00:30:20.120 so he's

00:30:21.240 he's there

00:30:23.300 the flight goes on

00:30:23.860 okay so we've landed

00:30:24.620 fist pound

00:30:25.400 I commend you

00:30:26.140 and I commend you

00:30:26.940 for standing up for what you believe in

00:30:27.940 and I hope I didn't

00:30:29.120 I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my mask

00:30:30.620 and I

00:30:31.620 I touch his shoulder

00:30:32.920 I touch his shoulder

00:30:34.400 and I go

00:30:34.800 absolutely not

00:30:36.120 you didn't make me uncomfortable thank you for putting it on yeah and i said you know i just um

00:30:41.900 and then i was a little embarrassed because i thought like a fool then i realized oh my god

00:30:47.360 it's clear that it was it's like clear to the people directly around me that i got kicked off

00:30:52.180 i thought you got that was also you went to the back i was prepared to fake having gone to the

00:30:56.300 bathroom i almost was gonna come i was considering like like groaning and holding your stomach like 0.98

00:31:01.280 we don't have to do that again no no exactly make yourself like a shit monster yes i thought that 0.99

00:31:07.500 they maybe thought i had just i had no idea it was that obvious i get up and go and the moments 0.98

00:31:11.940 later and of course the people around me have heard me say to the flight attendant he's not

00:31:15.360 putting his mask on or can you please have him put his mask on like i think they know so he says

00:31:21.200 that and i go oh wow i was like you know it just makes me i just feel like you know two people are

00:31:26.260 getting sick too many people are dying we kind of have to look out for each other and you know

00:31:29.700 none of us like wearing this mask and it sucks but like we just have to do it and he was like

00:31:33.940 absolutely and um then the plane has landed right about to deboard deplane he starts talking about

00:31:41.240 he goes he's talking this isn't even directed to me it's to the woman he's talking with the

00:31:45.320 little boy and he's like yeah i have um 10 year old with autism and my five-year-old just became

00:31:49.900 diagnosed with autism oh wow and he's like remarking on because this baby was like a very

00:31:54.920 this baby was like very cute and very like reactive and engaged and he was like he was like

00:31:59.640 you're blessed with a beautiful child or something and i was like so i wasn't i was initially almost

00:32:05.280 repulsed i had to share my space with this man right because he had so much stuff and i was like

00:32:08.820 oh god and he made the joke and i just was like oh no what's gonna happen i judged him and then

00:32:14.540 with his mask down around his chin i felt i couldn't can't connect with this person i can't

00:32:19.460 be let in i can't and then by the end of the flight i wanted to invite him over to my house

00:32:27.020 for christmas i mean i was completely and i was like here's this man with three kids two of them

00:32:31.320 have autism he's clearly so good like the way he was playing with his baby like through really like

00:32:35.340 subtle little like i just and i thought i was like it was very sweet to watch because i was like wow

00:32:39.500 this is really the way he's engaging with this baby is like really with a lot of sensitivity

00:32:44.520 and like a lot of like I don't know it felt unusual to me to see a man like it was I can't

00:32:53.600 exactly explain it but then when I heard that his that he has kids with autism I was like oh well he

00:32:57.740 he's like attuned potentially to like definitely um engagement a lot of time yeah and like play

00:33:06.220 or something and yeah and so then I left the plane elated I was like humanity my belief in

00:33:12.540 humanity restored i continue to feel a little embarrassed that people knew i got the guy

00:33:18.520 kicked off the plane and then i had to reverse engineer and go no it's not that i killed someone

00:33:23.040 it's that i saved someone because what if he had been aerosolizing and then someone went home i

00:33:26.720 got covid you know well that's the yeah that's the funny thing like yeah it began out of out of that

00:33:32.060 um a couple of things first of all i think taking your top off and then doing a deep bow

00:33:37.940 is like one of the funniest

00:33:39.940 concepts because it's

00:33:42.080 not it's like it's like this weird

00:33:44.220 mix because

00:33:46.260 like arguably it's like a sexual display

00:33:48.160 of like like let me give my 0.92

00:33:49.880 you know private body parts 0.93

00:33:52.280 to you but then like a deep

00:33:54.440 I felt it like

00:33:56.020 a deep bow yeah

00:33:57.700 which is not the presentation of one's 1.00

00:34:00.260 tits like a deep bow 0.99

00:34:02.100 would look quite the opposite 1.00

00:34:03.840 we all hate bowing with your top off

00:34:06.140 good luck it's like hard enough if you find yourself hovering over someone right you look 0.99

00:34:12.280 down at your own tits and it's just a funeral parlor oh my god um wait but the guy wait let 0.98

00:34:21.780 me just take this well i just yeah i mean the when you switch on someone you see i always have 0.99

00:34:26.440 this trouble with um you know how you have like oh there's a lot of cliches that um that you have a

00:34:33.900 you have cliche A and cliche B

00:34:35.580 and they're saying the opposite of each other,

00:34:37.860 but they both are cliches.

00:34:39.780 So it's like, where is truth?

00:34:41.520 Okay, so here's an example.

00:34:43.860 Okay, out of sight, out of mind.

00:34:46.740 Okay.

00:34:48.000 Versus.

00:34:48.320 Wish that were true.

00:34:49.960 Yeah, versus absence makes the heart grow fonder.

00:34:53.880 Such a good point.

00:34:55.080 Two cliches.

00:34:55.740 Oh, how are we supposed,

00:34:56.880 what are we supposed to do?

00:34:58.140 Where do, where do you,

00:34:59.380 so.

00:34:59.720 Where do we hide?

00:35:00.540 You have people that they throw these ones at you.

00:35:03.900 Right. Well, you know, it'll be good for you to absence, you know, whatever.

00:35:08.480 And it's like, and it's like, but I can throw you back an equally popular cliche.

00:35:12.480 It's just, it's just, there's, there's no truth to be found.

00:35:16.820 Was there a specific cliche that I said or that reminded you of the story?

00:35:20.260 No, no, no. I'm just curious.

00:35:21.160 No, no, no. The real, oh, oh, oh.

00:35:23.540 So, so I always feel that about sort of these two sentiments.

00:35:27.540 One being, you know, always trust your first impressions.

00:35:33.900 Okay, your first impression about someone.

00:35:36.680 Okay, and then the opposite being like, you can't judge.

00:35:39.800 You can't.

00:35:40.520 People reveal themselves to be amazing.

00:35:43.280 And sometimes they tell you very quickly.

00:35:45.240 Like, it's like, that's what I couldn't believe

00:35:46.720 as I was waiting for baggage claim.

00:35:47.960 I was like, I was so ready to feel, yeah,

00:35:52.340 I just felt so disconnected from him

00:35:54.100 and it never would have occurred to me that I would have.

00:35:56.960 I was like, I left the plane amazed by him.

00:36:00.480 Like, truly amazed.

00:36:02.540 And like, yeah.

00:36:03.900 And just being like, I wish him prosperity with like all of my being.

00:36:11.560 Yes.

00:36:12.300 And I just, I mean, I don't.

00:36:17.040 Even the silent lifting of the mask from earlier,

00:36:20.840 which is open to interpretation when you don't know,

00:36:23.520 but still I find quite noble.

00:36:25.640 I agree because also at the time he was looking at his phone.

00:36:29.160 So for all I know, he was texting about, you know, it doesn't matter,

00:36:32.460 but he was it wasn't some kind of like this the nut man it wasn't some declaration of individuality 0.99

00:36:38.420 and like oh my god my stiff cock in my pants and my mask is nowhere over my mouth and i you know 0.99

00:36:46.140 it wasn't this like one time in a bus yeah i remember this you know the um like the really 0.99

00:36:51.460 cheap bus i think it's like goes between like ah fuck i forget now like dc and new york or something

00:36:56.180 it's one of those ones you line up on the street it appears um it's daily and and i'm still reeling 0.94

00:37:02.120 from the fact that I'm still like I'm privately reeling 0.99

00:37:04.220 but I said stiff cock 0.99

00:37:06.060 in my pants 0.99

00:37:07.140 and just like it's so like 80s

00:37:10.160 of me and it's like

00:37:11.580 so what 80s? Yeah or something

00:37:13.580 it's like it's like that's just like

00:37:16.160 I don't know. I found it utterly modern

00:37:18.280 the facility with which it

00:37:20.140 flew out. Okay great sorry keep going

00:37:22.120 by the way Mabel made an 1.00

00:37:24.040 appearance yes she is in a hotel

00:37:25.980 room with me yes she's become a travel cat

00:37:28.200 it's incredible

00:37:28.640 so 0.98

00:37:30.100 so um wait two things fuck oh yeah judging the guy oh yeah the things about judging someone and 0.98

00:37:38.540 not um oh like just these moments i have like specifically sometimes i notice it around reality 0.99

00:37:44.560 television which is like so dumb because of course but i i'm not talking about when they

00:37:50.040 make someone the villain or not okay but like i remember like recently like watching something 1.00

00:37:53.640 and i was like okay that guy's a fucking asshole that guy's everything i hate in the world 0.98

00:37:58.080 yeah yeah i mean declaring this to chris like like he is the most perfect representation of 1.00

00:38:05.180 like and literally like the next episode i was like pounding like you know my fist into my heart

00:38:10.960 yeah yeah loving him johnny you know being like there's nobody like johnny like or whatever it's

00:38:16.280 just it's just um and so i i and so every time i have i have one of two things happen and sometimes

00:38:21.900 it's with the same person over the course of years should have just made person first impression no

00:38:26.820 actually you can't judge someone right okay so there is no um there are no you know all those

00:38:37.140 things what where you know talk talk to god and figure it out i guess right i mean like you have

00:38:41.780 no like i don't know searching it is untruth and cliche how complicated everything is but there

00:38:50.580 was something about oh the guy putting the mask on in his response um that that intrigued me wait

00:38:54.560 oh yeah the wordless the wordless i don't know i forgot but it was something but it's um and i

00:39:00.500 interpreted it as he hates me now i was like he hates me now oh what totally that's what i would

00:39:05.640 do too and like and maybe he didn't like have the words to process it right at that moment no i think

00:39:10.500 he just was distracted he was looking at his phone he hadn't even occurred to him he didn't

00:39:15.220 it wasn't conscious so he just put it on and kept reading his phone yeah maybe it but it's

00:39:20.960 interesting he didn't go like excuse me oh god i'm sorry i i didn't know this i don't know it's

00:39:26.520 just interesting what people do or do not feel that they owe each other um yeah like me yelling

00:39:32.320 out to another table like after i'd sprayed some like bug spray on my foot in an open air like park

00:39:37.900 setting but there are other people scream like i'm like i don't know like oh but it is sort of

00:39:43.860 that thing of the way you're talking about about like how a restaurant or a business can like have

00:39:47.240 you forever if they make a mistake but then they like fix it it's like it's almost like that with

00:39:52.480 a guy this is writer strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather it was many and

00:40:01.560 many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea in 1995 my neighbor and a trainer disappeared from a

00:40:08.500 commune it was hard to wrap your head around it was nature and trees and praying and drugs

00:40:13.640 no i am not your guru and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody

00:40:22.440 there were years right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in

00:40:27.300 northern california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try

00:40:32.400 to find out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies

00:40:36.920 in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you 0.99

00:40:42.680 Sons of bitches come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:40:44.980 Boom, boom. 1.00

00:40:46.300 This is The Red Weather.

00:40:49.280 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:40:56.180 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:41:00.120 He is edgy.

00:41:00.940 He's fun.

00:41:01.920 He is Chase Matthews.

00:41:03.460 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year, but it's his recent number one hit,

00:41:07.620 darling that put Chase on the map and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who

00:41:13.240 cheat and lie. That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:41:17.380 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew. Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:41:22.520 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:41:30.500 One time on a bus, this guy gets on, okay, and this is a, you know, packed in bus

00:41:36.500 driving from, I don't know,

00:41:38.460 NYC to DC, I think.

00:41:40.260 And

00:41:40.680 there's like a couple,

00:41:45.880 there's like a little TV

00:41:46.940 at the front of the bus,

00:41:47.940 I believe is how I remember it.

00:41:48.940 Maybe there were like two.

00:41:50.560 Okay.

00:41:50.880 Maybe there's like one halfway through.

00:41:52.320 Sorry, sorry.

00:41:52.700 I'm just laughing.

00:41:54.000 No, I'm interrupting to say,

00:41:55.920 I'm laughing because I'm imagining,

00:41:57.760 I'll just say,

00:41:58.320 I followed the guy home, right?

00:42:00.000 The father,

00:42:00.760 the one that I loved so much. 0.98

00:42:02.720 He's actually a monster.

00:42:04.200 it's like i'm imagining he's running again well that's where we go first impressions 0.93

00:42:09.100 you should have known i always knew he was gonna be a problem what's that his shower joke like i

00:42:15.500 should have known like remember i know it's all there and then you go back sometimes i do believe

00:42:19.240 it's all in the beginning like some of those simplistic you know those ideas those cliches

00:42:23.840 they do like you always like the truth is always in the beginning i kind of sometimes feel like

00:42:28.340 that's like relationships right you know like it's all right there in the beginning like the

00:42:32.460 downfall will be there in the beginning or it'll sure sure i mean but and it's appealing i mean but

00:42:36.700 i i i just feel like that comes from our desire no it might not be truth it might it might come

00:42:41.560 from our desire to mushrooms the whole time no it's mushrooms the whole time and it's um no

00:42:46.160 you're completely correct okay sorry continue the bus so never apologize okay to me the stories are

00:42:51.600 just rooms that we sit in okay and we look around and whatever um so there's like a little tv thing

00:42:58.700 screen on the bus for watching you know then they're going to put in a film for the duration 1.00

00:43:03.580 of the ride this motherfucker okay ready for this i've probably told you this motherfucker 0.99

00:43:08.700 tapes a piece of paper up okay on the on the television screen okay and then write something 0.99

00:43:17.540 on it like live your life or something okay like like he's jotted the communal the communal screen 0.81

00:43:24.100 the communal screen like there's one for the whole fucking bus maybe there's two okay my bet is gonna 0.85

00:43:29.860 play the wedding singer i wish you were playing my best friend's wedding oh me the best friend's 0.94

00:43:33.660 wedding um i thought you were about to say but um me too so it's like it was like something like

00:43:40.940 you know live your lives or like um you know like uh oh no like like just this machine you know

00:43:46.400 kills brain cells or like something right and um wow and then someone yells out

00:43:53.420 this isn't your house sir oh no i got it wrong someone yells out this isn't your house okay

00:43:58.740 it was fantastic and then someone else this other man who was like he was on my aisle and sort of

00:44:04.040 like was like reading a newspaper and like sort of had glanced up and like kind of looked back 0.95

00:44:07.680 at his paper so i thought like oh maybe he didn't give a shit or whatever but like actually he did 0.92

00:44:11.540 and towards and then the guy started giving a speech about like you're all like you're all 0.98

00:44:17.020 i'm now i'm picturing like the the same you know white guy with dreads and i'm picturing the entire

00:44:23.200 outfit and the jar of nuts in his hand because now maybe that's that is what he was but it was

00:44:27.220 like he's like he gives some kind of like you all are sheep to the tv or whatever and then this guy

00:44:33.800 just goes thank you for the lesson sir and it was just wonderful i loved it thank you for the lesson

00:44:40.800 that's a cool guy and he went back down to his his paper but like when people when the group like

00:44:47.280 that to me is is the the height of new york like that's new york at its best okay is like

00:44:53.060 the group understanding the need of the collective which which can happen and like the group kind of

00:44:58.840 like rallying like like mob style but not i mean we didn't chase him with you know fire we didn't

00:45:07.220 kick him off the thing or anything right but just sort of like no sir like we're all in agreement

00:45:12.260 that's unacceptable like we don't yeah no no we don't do that yeah it just reminded me of one time 0.96

00:45:19.260 like i ordered you know well fuck this story it's me ordering like an iced coffee them giving me a 0.94

00:45:27.160 hot coffee at a truck in new york a food truck like type their coffee truck and then me being 0.97

00:45:31.680 like i ordered i or like i believe i ordered iced or like or like oh god did i say hot because i'm

00:45:36.280 like overly giving the credit because i'm like so sure that it was so clear that even he knows and

00:45:42.140 he'll realize his error but then i've made it seem that like i'm not sure what i ordered stay

00:45:46.360 Yeah, and like he obviously like latches on to that.

00:45:49.900 Of course. 0.88

00:45:50.380 He took the drink back and he just, and he goes, this drink is garbage now. 0.98

00:45:53.880 No, no, no. 0.78

00:45:55.320 Yeah.

00:45:56.980 I think about it all the time.

00:45:58.340 No.

00:45:58.900 I think about it all the time.

00:46:00.560 Oh, no, that's, yeah.

00:46:01.640 And it's like, yeah, it's just, it's the old, I'm like still still doing it.

00:46:04.200 He doesn't have a morning ritual.

00:46:06.260 Oh, my God.

00:46:07.180 That's how you meditate to protect others from outbursts like that.

00:46:10.520 And then, oh, to protect others. 1.00

00:46:13.760 Damn. 0.99

00:46:14.000 Yeah, we meditate to be, you know, for our... 0.99

00:46:16.140 The generosity of the system.

00:46:17.200 So that we can come into contact with others more peacefully.

00:46:20.240 Okay, what act are we in, three?

00:46:22.220 So it's 27 minutes.

00:46:23.100 Oh, because we braked and we started, okay.

00:46:24.900 Yes, yes, yes.

00:46:26.180 So it's actually 27 minutes.

00:46:31.060 If you knew how thirsty I was, I'm about to actually almost require that I go get water.

00:46:34.240 So in about four minutes, I think we're done.

00:46:36.460 Are you serious?

00:46:37.600 No, eight minutes.

00:46:40.000 Okay, I can wait to drink water in eight minutes.

00:46:42.240 I got a little lost with my timers

00:46:44.560 and that's just part of season two of Pook

00:46:46.280 excuse me

00:46:47.160 so I'm here in town just for a couple days 0.96

00:46:49.840 my Lori Hollingworth had an opening

00:46:52.380 had a cancellation

00:46:53.800 I still think a t-shirt 0.99

00:46:55.740 Lori Hollingworth don't even try to get an appointment

00:46:57.780 one of the most terrifying things happened to me

00:47:00.140 I saw a friend yesterday who I haven't seen in months

00:47:02.160 and he goes you're tan

00:47:03.540 I almost fell to my knees

00:47:06.600 and then in that moment I went

00:47:08.440 could it be my tinted sunscreen

00:47:10.420 you know is it praying because there is a color there and i almost it took everything not to you

00:47:14.640 know wipe off a you know my cheek and go do you see a difference here i mean i have been in the

00:47:20.860 sun i have been in the sun i have well i've been in the sun um and i have my skincare regimen has

00:47:29.300 gone to absolute hell like a classic touring traveling no it goes to hell okay it is it is

00:47:36.620 And also, meanwhile, I'm carting.

00:47:39.860 I am carting huge amounts, all products.

00:47:44.000 By the way, I've almost finished a lot of the Drunk Elephant

00:47:45.860 because that was one of the easiest.

00:47:47.520 Traveling is only products.

00:47:49.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:47:50.080 For me, it's the bathroom stuff.

00:47:52.320 No, it's the bathroom stuff.

00:47:52.860 It's my bottles, it's my jars.

00:47:54.400 That's what I'm...

00:47:55.540 For me, it's that.

00:47:56.920 Now it's microphones and boom arms.

00:47:59.300 Of course.

00:48:00.040 Wow. 1.00

00:48:00.360 Dude, a poog, as you know. 1.00

00:48:02.700 And then, well, I'm at a glorious hotel. 1.00

00:48:08.900 The future is pet-friendly hotels.

00:48:10.740 I just want to be very clear. 1.00

00:48:12.140 I think the future is now then, isn't it?

00:48:14.080 Well, more and more are coming, I've noticed, as I do my searching.

00:48:17.600 What are your thoughts behind dog owners who have violent dogs

00:48:21.460 who bite and bark and are upsetting

00:48:23.560 where you have to constantly monitor them lest they...

00:48:27.020 I was with a friend the other day

00:48:28.680 and a dog nearly took off her hand and i'll say right now slight exaggeration yeah yeah yeah

00:48:36.860 but this is a kind of a rottweiler looking thing and really did a scary turn the humor setting down

00:48:43.700 to uh 70 percent leaves or whatever sorry i'm sorry just referencing interstellar we never

00:48:49.700 discussed that the robot's humor setting which i actually do think is genius okay yeah go on

00:48:53.980 and then uh the i'm sorry i don't know how i got there i can't remember reminding me of that i'm

00:49:00.800 not actually sure myself and then the owner kind of oh i'm sorry and i thought what the hell is

00:49:06.840 wrong with you oh slight exaggeration put a muzzle on that thing right oh yeah but you don't have a

00:49:11.540 you don't have a deep love of um animals wow i mean i mean like what if i told you i rescued a

00:49:18.860 baby squirrel recently.

00:49:21.000 No, I don't mean you have an inherent...

00:49:23.220 Okay, no.

00:49:23.880 And that she's stable.

00:49:24.700 I don't mean that.

00:49:25.620 And doing well,

00:49:26.240 but has an upper respiratory infection.

00:49:27.700 You have not relied in your adult life

00:49:30.140 on the love of a pet

00:49:31.500 for emotional support.

00:49:34.740 No, I have connected deeply.

00:49:36.300 I love animals.

00:49:37.340 I have connected deeply with animals.

00:49:39.460 No, I'm not saying you haven't.

00:49:40.340 I'm sure you've like

00:49:40.920 placed your hand on a horse's neck.

00:49:43.420 Slash fostered a dog for nine months

00:49:45.200 who was a huge part of my life.

00:49:46.700 Pepper?

00:49:46.980 Yes, and who I think about every day.

00:49:48.300 It's funny, I didn't know that was nine months.

00:49:50.320 It was a full nine months.

00:49:51.580 Wow. 0.99

00:49:52.260 Damn, you had Pepper for nine months? 1.00

00:49:53.900 Nine months. 0.99

00:49:54.720 I always remember you're like,

00:49:56.400 we've decided not to adopt Pepper.

00:49:58.520 Yeah.

00:49:59.340 You're like, I've been crying about it in bed for weeks.

00:50:02.180 I'm like, well, Pepper heads off to like,

00:50:05.540 like you're like emotionally processing Pepper's absence.

00:50:09.000 Well, like Pepper looks for a home. 0.89

00:50:11.100 Pepper has no, she's a perfect life. 1.00

00:50:14.100 I'm sure she does.

00:50:15.360 I want to be clear to the listener,

00:50:17.240 I never elected to foster an animal.

00:50:19.040 The animal was brought to me.

00:50:20.200 Hey, can you watch this dog for a couple of days?

00:50:21.780 Fell in love with the dog. 0.99

00:50:22.520 Can't take it back to the shitty pound. 0.99

00:50:24.000 You know, to the dog a huge service, ultimately. 0.97

00:50:26.700 Give it home I never could provide.

00:50:29.120 No, absolutely.

00:50:30.200 And if you are not going to give it the life it deserves,

00:50:32.920 then the gift is to give it to someone who can.

00:50:36.860 But I wanted, I was thinking about,

00:50:39.600 God, I had a, let me think.

00:50:43.200 What have been, I feel like I'm,

00:50:44.340 I feel like I've had some experiences

00:50:45.820 that I'm like forgetting to tell you about 0.99

00:50:47.300 that are significant and poo related.

00:50:49.780 I'm like, I got to run through it. 0.99

00:50:51.420 I'm like, is it skin?

00:50:52.160 Is it body?

00:50:52.660 Obviously I'm continuing with Tracy.

00:50:55.080 Is it foot?

00:50:56.980 Is it no?

00:50:58.340 Is it Mabel?

00:50:58.980 No.

00:50:59.420 Is it water?

00:50:59.840 I'm on East Coast time and waking up here,

00:51:01.840 I have to say, this morning,

00:51:03.360 dolls, eyes fluttering awake, 6 a.m.

00:51:05.900 Yesterday, same thing.

00:51:06.920 I am outside taking walks by seven.

00:51:09.580 I was at a coffee place at 7 a.m. today.

00:51:13.020 God, when you're in a state

00:51:13.980 where you're looking up the hour,

00:51:16.480 like you're looking up, is the place open yet?

00:51:18.520 God. 0.98

00:51:19.280 Oh, this morning I go, oh, damn, they don't open until eight. 0.99

00:51:22.700 Can you imagine? 0.99

00:51:24.180 I mean, I was euphoric.

00:51:25.740 And walking around with the coffee in the morning,

00:51:27.540 good morning, saying good morning to people.

00:51:29.740 I mean, it's just euphoric.

00:51:31.540 I want to talk about the weight of luggage, okay, at the airport.

00:51:36.180 Do you ever have to pay for oversized?

00:51:38.820 By the way, historically, I do not check luggage.

00:51:41.420 I did check a bag right now because I was packing a lot of stuff.

00:51:43.980 and whatever yes it was overweight and she goes you can unload yeah five pounds ten pounds right

00:51:50.220 now or it's going to cost a hundred dollars i open it up i got my hair dryer throw it in the

00:51:55.720 trash she she goes let's weigh that i found if you're charming enough they're not going to make 0.90

00:52:01.680 you really unload the full five i took out the hair dryer she goes that's okay no yes oh my god 0.99

00:52:08.040 i cannot believe bartering works at the goddamn airport i think that's wrong i think that's wrong 0.94

00:52:13.460 I was, as I always am, you're polite, you smile, maybe give them a little joke. 0.99

00:52:19.680 They're not going to make you unload.

00:52:21.960 No.

00:52:23.480 If you treat people well, they want to help you out.

00:52:25.660 That's so unfair, Kate.

00:52:26.720 You think the $100?

00:52:28.740 So I had to pay $300.

00:52:30.140 I had to do two, okay, overweight bag there.

00:52:34.140 You think I was a monster?

00:52:35.540 You think I was treating people well?

00:52:38.000 Okay, I'd give them a smile.

00:52:39.440 I'm tap dancing my way through.

00:52:40.260 No, I'm just saying I've had to pay two, but occasionally you'll reach someone.

00:52:43.080 No, absolutely. But it's just that's because you're always thinking, can I get it? Can I get it free or cheaper? OK, I'm not. I'm thinking I'm going to. OK, what if I take my bag? Because the whole thing is what's so tragic about it is, first of all, I was like, I was like, well, is there a luggage store? OK, because. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, David Tell joke. I mean, who's buying luggage at the airport? Yeah. Yeah. Just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport. It's genius.

00:53:11.620 But anyway, it's like, but they need it before the gate, okay?

00:53:15.940 They need it before the gate so you can walk over.

00:53:17.300 All you have to do is split it in two.

00:53:18.480 It just has to be under, you know what I'm saying?

00:53:19.900 Isn't that crazy?

00:53:20.800 So it's $45 for an additional checked bag, okay?

00:53:25.100 So you can either pay, and by the way, the $150 is on top of the checked bag fee.

00:53:33.300 Can you believe that? 0.97

00:53:34.220 Disgusting. 0.99

00:53:34.920 So expensive. 0.65

00:53:35.460 So anyway, I was seven pounds over and I was like, I just, I just, I can't do anything.

00:53:40.120 You crumbled, yeah.

00:53:40.520 I crumbled and paid and anyway, I'm just fascinated by it

00:53:44.480 and I'm thinking about getting one of those little things

00:53:46.100 that I always never understood.

00:53:47.420 Who is doing that?

00:53:48.420 Who is weighing their luggage?

00:53:50.320 A little like hook that you, like for people that you can weigh your luggage

00:53:53.680 at home before coming to the airport.

00:53:55.940 It is kind of exciting though, like transferring it.

00:53:59.760 You know what I'm talking about though?

00:54:01.080 Like that's literally what it's for.

00:54:02.380 By the way, I've never seen one of those in someone's home.

00:54:06.120 You're suggesting that I see those at people's house.

00:54:09.180 you know who does that no not like a right but not not like where do you see that like a dogs

00:54:13.340 you know those things they weigh dogs on at the vet if you kept that for longer maybe you would

00:54:17.360 okay okay it's like a hook like they sell them at the airport almost like you know you could hook

00:54:23.660 it on your luggage and it gives you a little little digital readout and tells you what it is

00:54:27.640 and it's like it helps because then you can go okay i need another bag right but you're thinking

00:54:32.860 how can i get them to let me just have it for free or let me do it i'm thinking that my mind

00:54:37.800 goes to solutions that are still within the rules okay my mind goes okay what if i took this bag

00:54:42.760 and i i sawed it in half okay yeah and sewed up the sides with duct tape now it's two bags

00:54:48.140 and they're each under 50 you know like i don't know i just start going there like 0.95

00:54:52.100 um we gotta go i think it's i think it's over yeah we got so much goddamn discuss 0.84

00:54:56.180 i think i've talked about i know i have when someone put a pornographic drawing in my luggage 0.52

00:55:00.880 oh right it's unbelievable all right well all right well we barely we barely got started but

00:55:06.500 Luckily, we have a whole season to get into all these things.

00:55:10.300 And thanks, everyone.

00:55:11.920 You know, I didn't receive a flood of emails complaining about the audio last week.

00:55:17.260 And, you know, I see that as a generosity.

00:55:19.560 Thank you.

00:55:19.820 And I say this not to embarrass you, but thank you, everyone.

00:55:23.680 It was hard.

00:55:25.060 Not to embarrass me?

00:55:27.280 What, you mean like my tech failure?

00:55:29.120 Not to be like Jacqueline did something wrong.

00:55:31.940 I just mean that it was, yeah.

00:55:33.800 No, it's a new microphone on the road.

00:55:35.460 I did get a couple of hostile DMs on the POOG Instagram.

00:55:39.420 Oh.

00:55:40.220 Like the audio is not okay.

00:55:41.380 Like this isn't okay.

00:55:42.920 Yeah, we know it's not okay.

00:55:44.580 We know it's wrong. 1.00

00:55:45.500 And also, you're not fucking owed shit, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:55:48.220 I'm sorry. 1.00

00:55:48.920 You're lucky.

00:55:49.860 Okay.

00:55:50.220 No, I mean, you didn't hire me to make this podcast, audience.

00:55:54.920 You're listening in.

00:55:56.160 And I stand by it.

00:55:57.460 Okay, okay.

00:55:58.540 We love you.

00:55:59.420 We'll see you next week.

00:56:00.180 Do we?

00:56:01.360 I'm saying that because now I'm livid.

00:56:03.940 I'm livid. 0.98

00:56:04.180 I don't want to send you to hell now. 0.97

00:56:06.960 No, I just...

00:56:07.640 Everyone's fine.

00:56:08.460 I mean, I didn't get any personally

00:56:10.040 because I don't actually like to go into the DMs.

00:56:12.820 And we're closing those up.

00:56:13.120 I only saw two.

00:56:14.280 There was only one that was a little rude.

00:56:15.820 Okay. 0.97

00:56:16.820 It's just like you're not fucking owed. 0.97

00:56:19.340 I know. 1.00

00:56:19.780 You're not paying, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:56:22.240 I'm sorry. 1.00

00:56:22.980 And I know this is absolutely unheard of on a podcast

00:56:25.800 to be this rude to a listener,

00:56:27.700 but I think it could be fresh.

00:56:29.260 I think it could be fresh for the people.

00:56:30.740 And they usually don't hear me this mad.

00:56:32.920 I know, I'm shocked

00:56:34.380 Alright, I'll think about whether or not we're leaving again

00:56:36.600 I'm so thirsty, I'm gonna completely pass away

00:56:38.680 Imagine the DMs are coming my way now

00:56:40.120 By the way, the Mountain Valley that I stole

00:56:41.800 We give you our time, we give you our time

00:56:43.640 We give you our ears, we are paying

00:56:46.000 I just want to say the Mountain Valley that I stole yesterday

00:56:48.180 I wasn't even able to enjoy it

00:56:49.740 Because my friend thought it was his and drank it

00:56:51.940 So, okay

00:56:53.380 See you next week

00:56:54.460 Alright, bye 0.53

00:56:55.900 That was POOG

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00:58:02.500 Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthew. Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - September 28, 2021

The Nut Man

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