Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - The Poog Awards

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00:01:05.100 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:06.540 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:07.640 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:12.380 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:14.140 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:15.000 This is our hell.

00:01:15.860 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:18.120 This is POOG.

00:01:19.560 Today's topic, loosely speaking, any vessel, missed connection, Mooshu. 0.86

00:01:25.540 yeah yeah hey i'm really excited i'm really excited your hair looks fucking incredible 0.72

00:01:35.840 oh my god well i heard some poop listeners actually made it into the salon are you just 0.98

00:01:41.760 kidding goo on fairfax they were like holy shit they showed up isn't that great i might need to 0.97

00:01:47.500 i was gonna get a haircut on the east coast but i might have to save it for the west coast i can 0.60

00:01:51.820 see what you're holding that's kopari is that the brand yeah and i just grabbed it because

00:01:57.460 i've experienced sort of some unexpected chapped lips i bought that i don't like it i think it's

00:02:03.420 i hate to say it too vanilla for me yeah i don't enjoy that i don't like that like that highly

00:02:09.680 synthetic coconut vanilla i do not like oh yeah you're right it is coconut it's not i don't like

00:02:14.900 it and see yeah yeah i think i've talked about this on poog how could i have not talked about

00:02:18.380 this on Pooke, but you know the incredible reality of Sephora is that you can return

00:02:21.940 something essentially 10 years later.

00:02:24.260 Yes, you've mentioned because it's like, it's the way you, you know.

00:02:26.240 People don't understand and they go, well, what do you mean I don't have a receipt?

00:02:29.120 I go, yeah, they don't care.

00:02:31.620 You can use a product, take it in, half the bottle's done and go, this started to irritate

00:02:36.480 my skin and they look at you and they go, well, guess what?

00:02:39.540 It's fine and have at it at the store.

00:02:42.260 Or here's 200 bucks.

00:02:43.580 In most cases, they'll do a full refund.

00:02:44.960 And if not, if you have no record of the purchase,

00:02:47.380 they'll usually just let you exchange.

00:02:49.460 And I remember that Kopari,

00:02:50.820 and it's a brilliant model 0.99

00:02:51.680 because it leads to reckless spending

00:02:54.000 because you go, well, I can return this.

00:02:56.280 I mean, that's what I do.

00:02:57.280 Totally.

00:02:57.760 The 100-day guarantee.

00:02:59.640 Returning is, of course, impossible.

00:03:01.120 Right.

00:03:01.320 Returning is a lifestyle.

00:03:03.020 Oh, it's a full-time job.

00:03:04.740 Yeah.

00:03:05.240 I mean, that's part of it, I guess.

00:03:07.040 That's why the Sephora thing,

00:03:08.280 even though you've told me,

00:03:09.620 never passes through my mind as I walk its aisles.

00:03:13.200 Just have fun.

00:03:14.960 I just, I'm not, like, returning.

00:03:18.040 I've noticed this about myself, like, transactions like that,

00:03:21.380 I find a little stressful.

00:03:23.200 Me too.

00:03:24.080 It's like this thing where I don't know what it is.

00:03:26.720 Is it that I'm like, oh, I play it out in my head first.

00:03:29.700 Like, I'm going to go up there.

00:03:30.940 I'm going to, like, my reason for the product, you know,

00:03:33.640 are they going to think it's well or repackaged enough?

00:03:36.020 They don't care.

00:03:36.780 Yeah.

00:03:37.140 I had a con that I was going to do with Sephora that I never did,

00:03:39.760 which is, okay, I'll buy, here's this jar of expensive moisturizer, right?

00:03:44.280 I'm going to decant

00:03:45.720 I think I'm going to decant

00:03:48.240 You may have spoken of this on Pooh

00:03:49.840 This cream

00:03:50.120 Into a container

00:03:52.100 And then I'm going to fill this with ponds

00:03:54.020 Or something 1.00

00:03:54.880 You know, Lubriderm

00:03:55.640 I guess Lubriderm is actually kind of expensive

00:03:57.460 How rude

00:03:57.760 And then take it back

00:03:58.820 I didn't like it

00:04:00.400 And then

00:04:01.620 You know, but obviously I didn't do that

00:04:04.220 And who cares

00:04:05.180 But welcome to Pooh

00:04:06.700 I missed you

00:04:07.200 I mean, Jochen, I'm going to see you soon

00:04:09.040 Because I'm finally going to be able to come back

00:04:10.640 To California

00:04:11.640 To Los Angeles

00:04:12.840 To California

00:04:13.840 Oh, I miss Hollywood.

00:04:14.780 I can't believe I live here.

00:04:16.280 I know.

00:04:17.180 And Jacqueline, I want to say, you texted me some photographs of your, or some video rather,

00:04:23.500 of your Halloween animatronics of the decorations.

00:04:27.280 And it just, it makes me so happy.

00:04:29.180 And again, we'll see you at Christmas Poog because Jacqueline, your Christmas decorations

00:04:34.200 also, they fill me with this warmth and it makes me feel like I will be taken care of.

00:04:38.180 Of course, everything leads back to my inevitable orphanhood.

00:04:40.720 And so I always think like, well, thank God I have you to be my Christmas anchor.

00:04:44.560 I can always come to you for the lights.

00:04:47.480 You know what I was fantasizing about recently?

00:04:49.240 It's funny.

00:04:49.720 Like when I was looking at different apartments, you know, there was this one apartment that I looked at and it was like, like kind of art deco, you know, like which fills the L.A. apartment scene so gloriously.

00:05:01.320 I mean, you know, those bathrooms in the art deco, like spots that are like those brightly colored tiles.

00:05:06.840 And it's just it's a very specific thing.

00:05:08.800 And it's like amazing. 0.99

00:05:09.580 But anyway, it had this sort of big room with these, like, wooden floors and a goddamn fireplace. 0.94

00:05:14.720 I don't even remember if the fireplace was real, okay? 0.94

00:05:17.400 But the look of the room, it immediately led to fantasies of me having a, like, you know, legendary yearly Christmas party.

00:05:26.020 Yeah, yeah, of course.

00:05:27.980 But it was one of those things where it was like, am I going to move in here due to one fantasy about a Christmas party?

00:05:34.680 I'll say yes. I think I would.

00:05:36.560 Although in Los Angeles, as an East Coaster,

00:05:39.500 the apartment building having a pool is so major to me

00:05:42.740 that I would take it over almost anything.

00:05:44.880 It's really hard for me to go anywhere in Los Angeles

00:05:48.420 because the fact that there are any apartments with pools

00:05:50.520 makes it like I have to.

00:05:51.840 I understand.

00:05:52.700 I get really mad when a place like a hotel in Los Angeles

00:05:55.620 doesn't have a pool.

00:05:57.080 Like just I'm like, hello?

00:05:59.420 Yeah.

00:06:00.340 Well, you must have a struggle with New York City hotels.

00:06:02.680 There's so much to talk about.

00:06:03.160 I know.

00:06:03.540 I want to say just a little bit of housekeeping here

00:06:05.920 because people have asked Athletic Greens.

00:06:08.540 So I have been doing Athletic Greens for,

00:06:11.480 I wish I had the, I mean, it's been three months.

00:06:14.260 Is that possible?

00:06:14.980 Two months?

00:06:15.860 Wait, are you wearing a retainer?

00:06:17.820 No.

00:06:18.720 Why, is my speech altered?

00:06:20.640 No, there's something like, it must just be the light.

00:06:23.060 There was something about your upper teeth,

00:06:24.360 not a crest, white, step, nothing?

00:06:25.920 Nothing.

00:06:27.200 Oh, wait, Kate, don't move.

00:06:29.100 Hold on.

00:06:29.380 I think it's my screen.

00:06:30.960 It's dirty.

00:06:32.500 It was.

00:06:33.480 Yeah.

00:06:33.900 No, it's not.

00:06:35.640 It's an illusion.

00:06:36.560 One of your teeth just looks like it's catching light.

00:06:39.880 It doesn't matter.

00:06:40.580 Okay, go on. 0.99

00:06:41.280 It's making a fool out of you against your own will. 0.98

00:06:43.600 I'm so sorry. 0.98

00:06:44.360 Continue it.

00:06:44.920 But we do have the video so that people can see.

00:06:47.440 This video will never go live.

00:06:48.800 I just rolled out of bed and I'm...

00:06:50.920 You look gorgeous.

00:06:51.980 It is going live.

00:06:53.000 Oh, God.

00:06:54.020 It has to.

00:06:54.820 Just a small clip.

00:06:56.820 Okay.

00:06:57.720 You don't know your own beauty.

00:06:59.200 Okay.

00:06:59.500 You have to trust others.

00:07:00.780 You know what?

00:07:01.260 I can't.

00:07:03.060 Okay.

00:07:03.280 Athletic Greens

00:07:04.980 I'm sorry for the interruption

00:07:05.760 It's been a few months

00:07:06.620 It's fine, please

00:07:08.080 And

00:07:08.820 So, you know

00:07:09.960 People want to say

00:07:10.580 You know, should I get it?

00:07:12.440 Can I say

00:07:13.340 Oh, look at these differences

00:07:14.640 No

00:07:15.080 But

00:07:16.440 I don't know

00:07:17.600 I really have

00:07:18.500 And I really have been

00:07:19.500 Quite religious about it

00:07:20.760 You know

00:07:21.060 I've really been doing it every day

00:07:22.140 So you've been on

00:07:22.520 I thought you were going to be like

00:07:24.300 I fell off

00:07:24.960 No, I've been on every day

00:07:26.340 Every morning on an empty stomach

00:07:27.620 And sometimes

00:07:28.240 Again, for work

00:07:29.480 I'm waking up at 3am

00:07:30.780 I'm waking up at 3.30am 0.99

00:07:32.160 Oh, shit 0.99

00:07:32.640 And I'm going in there and I'm doing it. 1.00

00:07:34.440 Now tell me this.

00:07:35.660 Remind me.

00:07:36.340 Do you actually blend this or do you just shake this up?

00:07:38.220 No, no, no.

00:07:38.960 It's a powder.

00:07:39.840 You put it in water.

00:07:40.520 You shake it up.

00:07:41.340 You down it.

00:07:42.100 Okay.

00:07:42.900 Do you literally, I'm sorry, shake it up in a blendy bottle type thing?

00:07:46.580 No, I'm thrilled for you to ask.

00:07:48.480 Something about those.

00:07:49.440 No, so I ordered the thing where they-

00:07:51.780 I know you. 0.98

00:07:51.800 Kaperlin hates a blendy bottle for sure. 1.00

00:07:54.260 Yeah.

00:07:54.680 I know it, right?

00:07:55.580 That is like an aesthetic that would stop me in my tracks.

00:07:58.680 I would incur inflammation.

00:08:02.320 before I would purchase one of those.

00:08:05.220 The plastic is also probably an issue for you.

00:08:06.200 Yeah, I mean, come on.

00:08:06.860 I'm sure they're like phthalate three or whatever.

00:08:08.420 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:08:08.820 And by the way, I can't speak to the Athletic Greens bottle

00:08:11.060 that they give you for free if you have a subscription service,

00:08:13.200 which is what I signed up for.

00:08:14.140 So they send you the bottle.

00:08:15.420 And it does shake it up, but, I mean,

00:08:16.820 you could use any vessel for that potentially.

00:08:20.200 Anyway, so I'm shaking it up.

00:08:21.560 I'm drinking it.

00:08:22.460 There's something also about the morning water thing

00:08:25.220 of you waking up and upon waking, right,

00:08:29.780 upon waking, drinking water,

00:08:31.900 which I do believe is probably best, is good for you.

00:08:34.780 And so for me, it's like, well, I'm drinking water.

00:08:36.980 I'm drinking 12 ounces of water upon waking

00:08:39.400 and there's Athletic Greens in there.

00:08:41.700 You know, chug it down.

00:08:43.600 And listen, I don't know.

00:08:46.000 I can't believe I'm saying this,

00:08:46.980 but I kind of feel like it has helped my energy levels.

00:08:50.500 Wow.

00:08:51.260 I mean, it stands to reason.

00:08:53.800 I mean, it does stand to reason.

00:08:55.200 I've been a little, actually, I've been using the Pagan.

00:08:57.840 Oh, I've been using that.

00:08:58.460 Mark Hyman.

00:08:59.080 Yeah. 0.94

00:08:59.260 Yeah, I've been doing morning Pagan

00:09:01.200 and then dropping in the secondary item from Dr. Mark Hyman.

00:09:05.540 There's a secondary small one called gut food.

00:09:07.680 I'm actually getting like to the point where I'm so sold on so many probiotic microbiome.

00:09:14.760 I get so many ads.

00:09:16.440 I send them to you that this is the strain.

00:09:19.560 Remember seed?

00:09:20.720 Remember seed when seed came on the scene?

00:09:22.560 Not really.

00:09:23.640 It sounds very familiar.

00:09:24.840 Seed was this probiotic, prebiotic, this like hyper.

00:09:27.740 i had my my old roommate in new york for many years ago shout out to sarah bean who like had

00:09:35.000 these like i would come home and she would be there would be in the sink chicken feet like like 1.00

00:09:41.300 eight of them and she was making bone broth and there'd be like nails on like complete chicken 0.99

00:09:45.860 feet in there and i would you know it was shocking but she was she was way into gut health she was 1.00

00:09:52.440 yeah she's making her own right and she was a probiotic uh warrior and she turned me on to 0.98

00:09:58.700 seed early and i thought well if she's onto it because she's really knows what is seed just a

00:10:02.600 supplement that's the brand yeah okay and and it was like i overpurchased meaning i remember yeah

00:10:08.040 when you make a purchase and then it was like 50 for a bottle or something and i bought like three

00:10:13.260 of them or something and then they were in my drawer and they expired and it was like a thing

00:10:17.860 we're going through an old drawer and then digging

00:10:19.860 out the thing and going

00:10:20.880 drive me to the river

00:10:23.540 drive me to the river

00:10:24.920 it was like maybe a hundred dollars that I had wasted

00:10:27.980 but it was so

00:10:29.500 deplorable. You make me wonder

00:10:30.680 my lipospheric vitamins that I got

00:10:33.640 at the beginning of quarantine

00:10:34.800 I think those are quite stable

00:10:37.400 wow your confidence like you're so sure

00:10:39.360 I know nothing. I'm scared. I wouldn't be scared

00:10:41.720 I actually have fallen off lipospheric

00:10:43.580 vitamin C and you know my new thing is

00:10:45.580 I want to get back on it is expensive

00:10:47.120 if you're looking at probably $3 a day for doing it every day,

00:10:49.820 I think, think of it as you're taking it for your skin.

00:10:52.620 What is it?

00:10:53.220 Immunity.

00:10:53.880 Isn't that what you're referring to?

00:10:54.760 Oh, lipospheric vitamin C?

00:10:56.060 Oh, I thought you were saying like...

00:10:57.760 No, I thought you were saying I've gotten off lipospheric vitamin C

00:11:00.480 and on to something else.

00:11:02.260 I just haven't been doing C.

00:11:04.260 I have been using my Fend.

00:11:05.460 Okay, continue.

00:11:05.940 It was $3.

00:11:06.820 I've been using my Fend as well,

00:11:08.240 and it gives me a lot of comfort on the road, you know,

00:11:11.220 before I head out to my own merch table.

00:11:12.860 I mean, a mask, of course, but...

00:11:14.280 Not to polarize the masks, but...

00:11:16.580 I want that booster.

00:11:18.420 Oh, look, I'm burning right now.

00:11:19.840 You'll love this because it will terrify you.

00:11:22.660 I'm burning the most expensive candle in the world, the Cire Trudon.

00:11:25.600 Oh, my God.

00:11:26.500 No, burn it. 0.99

00:11:27.140 Let it burn. 0.95

00:11:28.560 They've been in business since the 1300s.

00:11:31.260 I'm not joking.

00:11:32.100 That's so beautiful.

00:11:33.220 Those candles are exquisite.

00:11:34.580 I had a friend bring me one of those.

00:11:36.160 This is Carmelite, my favorite.

00:11:37.820 Dropped to my knees.

00:11:38.700 I couldn't believe that she brought it to me.

00:11:40.220 And, of course, I've burned it approximately for four hours,

00:11:43.020 and I can't bring myself to continue, but I have to.

00:11:45.680 You have to.

00:11:46.340 and this one is my favorite

00:11:48.580 because it's 1.00

00:11:49.240 it smells like a Carmelite

00:11:51.580 it's called Carmelite

00:11:52.560 and it's supposed to evoke

00:11:53.700 the cloistered nunnery

00:11:55.120 and like the damp walls

00:11:57.120 I tell anyone to listen

00:11:59.440 and so I'm burning it in here

00:12:01.420 because I'm actually having

00:12:02.120 sort of a major

00:12:03.600 sort of returning

00:12:04.700 okay

00:12:05.080 I was scared to return home

00:12:07.520 from the hotels

00:12:08.260 okay

00:12:08.940 because I have this idea

00:12:10.340 that writing and work

00:12:11.820 you know

00:12:12.600 the ideal space to do it

00:12:14.340 is the hotel

00:12:14.940 right

00:12:15.440 because there's nothing around that can distract me.

00:12:18.660 I mean I'm starting to feel that if it's so obvious

00:12:21.260 but like anything on my desk that isn't the work will distract me.

00:12:25.220 Anything my eyes pass upon.

00:12:27.740 So control it, right?

00:12:29.300 But I cannot live in this belief that I can't do anything in my home.

00:12:33.380 No, of course you can.

00:12:34.380 But when you settle down to do anything, 0.99

00:12:36.580 I mean it's just so classic like that goddamn 0.99

00:12:39.620 who is Dorothy Parker's husband? 1.00

00:12:41.360 Fuck, whatever, it's a piece I'll quote. 1.00

00:12:43.280 I'm like suicidal that I don't know. 1.00

00:12:45.440 Yeah, I know.

00:12:47.120 It's just funny to me. 1.00

00:12:49.200 Fuck, what's his name? 1.00

00:12:50.480 You know what's stuck in my head? 1.00

00:12:51.680 Robert Browning or whatever

00:12:53.180 because that's Elizabeth Barrett Browning's husband.

00:12:56.660 Do you see sort of the literary husband

00:12:58.800 is stuck in my head? 1.00

00:12:59.860 Fuck, whatever. 1.00

00:13:01.300 He wrote a piece about, are you Googling it? 1.00

00:13:03.580 Alan Campbell?

00:13:04.520 No.

00:13:04.920 I don't know who the hell that is. 0.91

00:13:06.120 Maybe it wasn't Dorothy Parker?

00:13:07.860 No, maybe it wasn't Dorothy Parker's husband.

00:13:09.760 Ooh, I love this, I love this.

00:13:11.380 Married Alan Campbell in 1933 to 1947

00:13:14.160 and then got married again 50 to 63, meaning they were apart.

00:13:19.300 Oh, wow.

00:13:20.040 For four years, if I'm doing the math correctly.

00:13:23.680 I find that's cool.

00:13:25.680 That is cool.

00:13:26.560 I mean, should I really go for a divorce and then have to redo it?

00:13:28.300 I have a friend whose parents divorced twice.

00:13:31.540 No.

00:13:32.180 Yeah, or maybe once.

00:13:33.900 I mean, why bring, why do they have to make it legal?

00:13:37.820 I mean, why do they have to formalize in that way?

00:13:40.500 I don't know.

00:13:41.600 If you're going to be in and out in that way,

00:13:44.160 Wait, but the thing I was like, oh, yeah, about the productivity, like, literally, like, and, like, this urgency to do things.

00:13:51.060 Like, the other day, I was like, we were going to, like, walk to the store, literally, something like that.

00:13:55.960 I wanted to get out there.

00:13:57.120 I was, like, really eager.

00:13:57.980 Like, all right, let's do it.

00:13:58.920 And then Chris was like, can I shower first?

00:14:00.660 And I was like, okay.

00:14:01.640 And then literally while he was in the shower, I started installing shelves.

00:14:04.460 Yeah.

00:14:05.040 Like, he comes out of the shower, and I'm, you know what I mean?

00:14:07.640 Like, it's not a perfect example.

00:14:09.840 But it's this, anyway, the return to the home office this morning.

00:14:13.180 I have lit a candle.

00:14:14.420 I've actually lit a few candles, okay?

00:14:16.660 The key, you know, the center candle, of course,

00:14:20.580 that will provide scent.

00:14:21.600 And the others are just little votives, okay,

00:14:24.840 that do not provide.

00:14:25.740 I will not.

00:14:26.420 Wicked trimming is undersung.

00:14:27.760 Okay.

00:14:28.520 I think today's the first day I trimmed the wick.

00:14:30.820 You have to trim the wick.

00:14:32.380 And I once almost panicked and bought a wick trimmer,

00:14:35.640 which is psychotic.

00:14:36.520 You can't do that to yourself

00:14:37.460 because then you're storing a separate.

00:14:39.320 I know.

00:14:39.840 But you can't use a nice swimmer, scissor,

00:14:41.680 on Night Swimmer.

00:14:42.680 Because you can't get it

00:14:43.680 down into it.

00:14:43.700 You don't want to use

00:14:44.640 a nice scissor on a wick.

00:14:46.320 I used a shearing thing

00:14:47.420 out of my tools.

00:14:47.780 You used the Jaws of Life.

00:14:48.860 I used the Jaws of Life.

00:14:50.440 Remind me,

00:14:50.980 talk about 9-1-1,

00:14:52.160 my new favorite show.

00:14:53.600 Jaws of Life.

00:14:54.780 For anyone that doesn't know,

00:14:55.880 the Jaws of Life

00:14:56.460 are the huge scissors

00:14:57.480 they use to rip apart cars

00:14:59.160 to get people out.

00:15:00.160 And that was a detail.

00:15:01.600 It was like a child I absorbed.

00:15:03.360 Like firefighters came to school

00:15:04.720 and I was like,

00:15:05.340 literally.

00:15:06.580 It was so, yeah.

00:15:07.500 Oh, and the firefighters

00:15:07.660 come to school

00:15:08.380 and teach stop, drop, and roll.

00:15:10.200 I mean, you were taught that,

00:15:10.940 I think I had to have told this on POOG when I called 911.

00:15:14.800 Remind me why.

00:15:15.940 Maybe it hasn't been on POOG.

00:15:17.300 I was in New York in my apartment, and I started texting my friend.

00:15:21.420 I'll never forget it.

00:15:22.480 My friend, Daron, dear friend.

00:15:24.260 And my phone just started to look a little weird.

00:15:27.040 I started to get dizzy.

00:15:29.100 And my phone, I was having kind of like a little bit of dissociation or something.

00:15:32.300 Like I started to get, it was anxiety.

00:15:34.480 But there was some kind of visual disturbance that came with the anxiety.

00:15:37.260 And I just immediately, without thinking, dialed 911.

00:15:40.940 oh my god just absolutely immediate the operator's there and i go hi i'm feeling dizzy

00:15:45.660 and she goes okay and she's talking to me and you know she says do you live alone i was like yes

00:15:50.840 and then i start as i'm talking to her i go i'm fine like 15 seconds into the call i'm like you

00:15:56.040 know what i'm actually fine i just had i was having anxiety and i'm realizing that i'm fine

00:15:59.620 and she goes they're already on their way no i love already on their way no no i said please

00:16:06.600 please i i feel embarrassed i'm i'm really fine send them back she goes it's really best that we

00:16:10.540 send someone if you called you know if he's best and i'm not kidding i within i mean the she goes

00:16:17.160 they're there it was like so i peered down i peered down the hall were you moved by the

00:16:23.460 moved in a way that i the system i mean i'm speechless right now when you see do you feel 0.97

00:16:28.840 like a little crying when you see a fucking ambulance caught in traffic oh i i rage and i 1.00

00:16:35.260 go somebody's mother is in there you fucking pigs worse they have they're on their way to the 1.00

00:16:41.340 emergency i always experience it as they're on their way to the emergency which i find even worse 1.00

00:16:45.120 oh on their way to the emergency like not someone's mother's in there they're trying to get there

00:16:49.940 and mother's on the floor oh no no no it's it's so horrible i looked down the hallway and up oh

00:16:55.860 my god we have to go to break we do oh my god you're so on top of it topping me again topping

00:17:00.540 me again. Here's the little cliffhanger. See you in a second. See you in a minute.

00:17:07.560 This is Ryder Strong and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. It was many and many

00:17:13.620 a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a

00:17:20.280 commune. It was hard to wrap your head around. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:17:25.380 no i am not your guru and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody

00:17:34.180 there were years right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in

00:17:39.060 northern california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try

00:17:44.160 to find out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies

00:17:48.680 in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you 0.99

00:17:54.440 sons of bitches come around here and my wife boom boom this is the red weather 1.00

00:17:59.440 listen to the red weather on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts 1.00

00:18:06.360 and we're back okay so yeah i look around the corner i've dialed 911 firefighters two perhaps

00:18:19.400 three of them come up the stairs paramedics rather they must have been paramedics yeah

00:18:23.880 I am stunned

00:18:25.120 I'm

00:18:25.860 as I remember it

00:18:26.640 I'm in like

00:18:27.000 not a negligee

00:18:27.900 like it couldn't have been that

00:18:28.700 but I was in some kind of like

00:18:29.880 house dress

00:18:30.400 and

00:18:31.260 I start talking

00:18:32.040 I start talking to them 0.87

00:18:33.140 I start clowning

00:18:33.780 I'm so uncomfortable

00:18:34.460 and I'm like

00:18:34.880 oh no

00:18:35.420 like

00:18:35.780 oopsie daisy

00:18:36.960 you know

00:18:37.440 and I have like a stack

00:18:39.480 at the time of my

00:18:40.300 of my

00:18:40.780 my comedy show

00:18:42.080 Crime and Punishment

00:18:43.300 that I

00:18:43.760 did at the cake shop

00:18:44.920 in New York City

00:18:46.060 one of the firefighters

00:18:47.940 remarks on them

00:18:48.580 and goes

00:18:48.880 like what's this

00:18:50.080 and I was like

00:18:50.420 oh I'm a

00:18:50.940 I'm a comedian

00:18:51.540 he goes really

00:18:52.720 start chatting

00:18:53.860 I go, there's a connection here.

00:18:55.320 I can sense it.

00:18:56.240 He can sense it.

00:18:57.820 They go, we got to, the ambulance,

00:19:00.340 there starts to be a discussion of the ambulance.

00:19:01.720 I say, I'm truly fine, please.

00:19:04.040 Like, I can't go in the ambulance.

00:19:06.120 Like, no.

00:19:07.040 They kind of, there's some discussion.

00:19:08.580 They go, okay, fine.

00:19:09.480 They look at me, I'm fine.

00:19:10.600 They leave.

00:19:12.460 I proceed to go around the corner,

00:19:14.040 get a cheeseburger, and I'm completely fine.

00:19:15.520 I was just hungry.

00:19:16.420 Okay.

00:19:16.960 I start thinking about this paramedic.

00:19:19.820 I'll never forget, I was at Westville.

00:19:20.940 Okay, keep going.

00:19:21.660 I was at Westville.

00:19:21.940 Because I'm just imagining.

00:19:23.760 God, I remember the time I went to Westville, you claimed to be so hungry

00:19:27.480 and then you just got this huge plate of arugula with a little squeeze of lemon.

00:19:32.420 And it was like, oh, I don't know if I can be friends with this person.

00:19:35.380 You know what I mean?

00:19:35.860 I don't know if I can eat with this person safely.

00:19:39.080 Yeah, you know those times when you're just like, I just need a yam.

00:19:42.620 I know, it's true.

00:19:43.720 I always bring up yams with you.

00:19:45.060 There's something funny about calling the paramedic

00:19:47.340 and then you're at a cheeseburger, like you're eating a cheeseburger in a window nearby.

00:19:51.540 I don't know, like seeing a paramedic five minutes after

00:19:54.240 I know

00:19:54.940 is a fantasy that's humorous to me

00:19:56.600 But then, here's the real kicker of the story

00:19:59.760 I wrote a Craigslist misconnection

00:20:02.420 for the paramedic

00:20:03.300 I am

00:20:05.320 dead and dying

00:20:06.800 It's the only misconnection I've ever written

00:20:09.280 Oh

00:20:10.020 Needless to say, he did not respond

00:20:13.200 I sent it into the ether

00:20:15.660 You did, that's a message

00:20:17.640 Me, dizzy and alone, you

00:20:19.140 Can you believe?

00:20:20.940 I feel like, wait, let me think about this for a second.

00:20:25.020 Well, I feel like maybe, and maybe you only wanted it to be that way,

00:20:28.540 but I'm pretty sure like anything like that.

00:20:31.520 Like what?

00:20:32.140 Like the misconnection? 0.99

00:20:33.120 That shit's all logged. 0.99

00:20:34.820 I mean, the 911 cardings were called. 0.99

00:20:37.800 I think like, not like it's a matter of.

00:20:40.160 Hello.

00:20:42.100 Not like it's a matter of like a public record or something like that,

00:20:47.480 But I feel like you could probably find out who the paramedic was.

00:20:51.480 Do you know what I mean?

00:20:52.040 Like that day.

00:20:53.500 Like you went misconnection.

00:20:55.000 I'd be like, let's like, let's look into it.

00:20:59.100 Let's find out who was sent.

00:21:01.040 I don't know.

00:21:01.460 It's kind of interesting. 1.00

00:21:02.780 Have a mom poog. 0.98

00:21:03.760 Well, yeah. 0.98

00:21:04.900 So I'm currently watching the show Rescue, not Rescue 911.

00:21:08.760 That was a fantastic show back in the day.

00:21:11.920 But, you know, real emergencies.

00:21:13.460 But I'm watching 911.

00:21:14.760 the um you know i think it's a murphy falchuk production how the hell do i don't know what

00:21:20.220 this is 911 it's called yeah there's like five seasons and it's um angela bassett and connie

00:21:26.260 britain and it's um is it recent uh i think it i'm not sure i think it's like five years ago and

00:21:33.280 you know how i discovered it oh wow okay i was on a plane okay and i was getting irritated by my own

00:21:39.480 joylessness. Okay. So Wi-Fi wasn't working. And in my experience, it never does. And I gave up

00:21:45.960 on Wi-Fi years ago. Boingo. I gave up on Wi-Fi years ago. You're saying Boingo. I would never

00:21:53.460 think that Boingo is in your brain. Boingo is deep in my brain. Yes. Hovering over the $30

00:21:59.800 all access pass, never purchasing. Purchasing 30 minutes of internet access. I purchased. Yeah.

00:22:06.260 I purchased the most recent two flights I was on.

00:22:09.240 Purchased both times.

00:22:10.860 No Wi-Fi the entire flight.

00:22:12.880 Okay.

00:22:13.440 Now.

00:22:14.020 Despite the purchase.

00:22:14.580 Talk about returning.

00:22:15.880 Talk about returning.

00:22:16.760 Talk about customer service.

00:22:17.980 You can't return that.

00:22:18.780 You know, I mean, in theory, they say, you know, you can complain or something.

00:22:22.800 You'll get your $15 back.

00:22:25.220 But who wants to go through the red tape there?

00:22:28.380 Yeah.

00:22:28.740 It's just, so I'm there.

00:22:29.820 I'm Wi-Fi-less.

00:22:30.880 And I pull out, what are my two reading options?

00:22:33.820 they're really one is the marion woodman jungian like thing about eating and whatever it's called

00:22:40.500 the owl was a baker's daughter or something and i just like was like irritated by my own sort of dry

00:22:47.120 academic reading yeah and i was like i'm gonna go for it turn on the goddamn screen oh because i saw 0.78

00:22:54.500 someone watching lucifer okay if you see stuff like like it's a television show and i saw that 0.77

00:23:01.340 network slickness and i was like ah yeah that's what i want yeah turn it on yeah 9-1-1 appeared

00:23:07.060 peter krause oh my god the star i mean don't all i have to say he's on it the point is nate lives

00:23:14.360 i mean the point is nate lives so if you want to be healed in that sense okay i think i mean

00:23:21.460 i can't talk about nate right now but yeah it's but i just want to say that i under to be clear

00:23:27.320 I always have to be very clear.

00:23:29.140 I do not allow myself internet while on a plane

00:23:31.240 and I've been saying this for years.

00:23:32.500 I use travel as an opportunity to hydrate

00:23:34.640 and to not be on the internet.

00:23:36.020 If you reframe flying as for mass hydration.

00:23:41.660 Yes.

00:23:42.360 Now I was reading about this this morning

00:23:43.660 in a clickbait article.

00:23:44.780 Obviously it's different in COVID

00:23:46.060 because I now in the era of COVID avoid the bathroom.

00:23:50.560 What?

00:23:51.240 Yeah.

00:23:51.700 Because you feel like it's trapped air in there?

00:23:53.200 It's not exactly.

00:23:54.400 It's definitely obsessive and you know,

00:23:57.000 But I, yeah, I don't want to.

00:23:59.420 Oh, God.

00:24:00.120 What?

00:24:00.880 No, I'm sorry.

00:24:01.620 Okay.

00:24:02.040 For some reason, my do not disturb isn't on.

00:24:04.340 Can you imagine some, like, emergency happening?

00:24:06.200 Imagine if right now this was, like, the moment of some, like, horrific national event.

00:24:12.300 And we're on.

00:24:13.040 For it to unfold on Coog?

00:24:14.280 I mean, that's lightning in a bottle.

00:24:16.240 It's Howard Stern during 9-11, you know? 0.99

00:24:18.540 Holy shit. 0.99

00:24:19.360 Have you never heard that? 1.00

00:24:20.440 No.

00:24:20.740 It's a pretty incredible artifact of the day.

00:24:23.400 I need, I'm going to have to listen to that.

00:24:25.180 No, so this is devastating.

00:24:27.160 I just received a text message appear on my screen from my neighbor

00:24:31.860 who basically cared for my plants while I was away,

00:24:36.120 even though I had sort of hired someone to do it.

00:24:38.480 They just kind of started taking over and being like,

00:24:41.800 we're water yours with ours.

00:24:43.500 You don't need to.

00:24:45.420 And one of the little trees that I had killed and then rejuvenated

00:24:51.200 grew, like, to, like, seven feet tall and, like, six feet wide.

00:24:57.380 No, no, no.

00:24:58.080 So when I got home, it was under my umbrella, 0.98

00:25:01.160 and I was like, this umbrella looks stupid, 0.83

00:25:02.780 and it's, like, pushing on the top of the umbrella, 0.89

00:25:04.460 so I got to, because it grew so much.

00:25:06.860 Took down the umbrella.

00:25:08.100 What happens next, okay?

00:25:09.920 It starts to dry out, and I'm like, oh, my God.

00:25:13.160 I'm home.

00:25:13.860 The plant is back my responsibility, and I'm killing it. 0.99

00:25:16.840 Right, right. 0.98

00:25:17.440 I'm humiliated, okay, because the neighbor cared for it. 0.99

00:25:20.260 it comes back into my possession and I'm killing it.

00:25:22.340 So I just got a text saying like the tree that's in the hole

00:25:25.480 because there's a hole I dug with great plans

00:25:28.080 and never did anything with it.

00:25:29.340 So now there's a whatever.

00:25:30.780 I actually have, I want to say something,

00:25:32.540 which I had a friend subletting, you know.

00:25:36.260 I have a, had, I should say, had a cactus.

00:25:39.840 It was really beautiful.

00:25:41.200 Expensive cactus, I will say.

00:25:42.880 Expensive.

00:25:43.840 Sorry.

00:25:44.260 And, you know, the cactus had been alive for 4 million years or whatever.

00:25:47.860 It was really nice.

00:25:50.260 let's just say that she watered it.

00:25:55.040 Over-watered?

00:25:55.900 Yeah, but you don't water a cactus really at all.

00:25:58.220 But anyway, the point is it's dead.

00:25:59.520 It's gone.

00:26:00.140 Okay, it's ash.

00:26:01.080 It's dead.

00:26:01.900 No.

00:26:02.600 Is she an East Coaster? 1.00

00:26:04.080 She's British,

00:26:04.980 and I feel like something about that kind of goes together.

00:26:08.200 Well, I think it's because they don't have cactuses there.

00:26:10.460 Yeah, she's not a California dweller.

00:26:12.120 And I'm not going to say cacti.

00:26:13.000 By the way, I don't blame her for it.

00:26:14.200 She's watering my plants, God bless.

00:26:15.460 And she goes, oh, I'll water this too.

00:26:17.800 But the cactus is dead.

00:26:19.480 And then neither of us have mentioned it.

00:26:21.460 Well, that's, I think, the right move.

00:26:22.780 What am I asking for?

00:26:23.480 I just move on, right?

00:26:24.620 I don't...

00:26:25.160 You absolutely move on.

00:26:26.460 There's nothing that can be done.

00:26:27.620 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:28.040 And there's nothing to do.

00:26:29.940 I mean, I don't think...

00:26:32.400 No, it's over.

00:26:32.900 There's nothing to be done.

00:26:33.620 And, you know, I attached some symbolism to this cactus.

00:26:35.300 So for me, it wasn't actually...

00:26:36.740 It was more of the symbolic death of the cactus

00:26:38.340 than I, you know, merged with some other area of my life.

00:26:42.540 So it's fine.

00:26:43.500 And then, of course, you know what I did?

00:26:44.600 I did mushrooms the whole time on this.

00:26:46.140 And I go, you know what?

00:26:47.240 I'm glad it's dead.

00:26:48.100 I did a full, I was like, I'm going to get a new cactus for this new era of my life.

00:26:51.960 I completely, yeah.

00:26:53.920 You can ritualize.

00:26:54.820 I mean, we must live symbolically, as Carolyn Mace says.

00:26:57.660 Yeah.

00:26:57.880 One of my favorite teachers, writers in the spiritual healing realm, desperate to invite

00:27:03.160 her to a show in Chicago where I believe she lives because I'm passing through.

00:27:07.220 Like, I just like, like, I want to invite her.

00:27:09.840 You should.

00:27:12.040 I spoke to someone who was a colleague of hers and they were like, she could be a little

00:27:16.300 like old school with her humor.

00:27:18.100 and i'm like no but i still think she'll like it whatever it doesn't matter it's just the god 0.63

00:27:21.700 you know i don't know i gotta get her if anyone knows her tell her get on your knees is coming

00:27:26.740 who is she who's got spiritual undertones and not even highly spiritual yeah carolyn mace is 0.96

00:27:32.680 like my absolute favorite she's like a hard ass it's amazing she's she's the hard ass who's like 0.94

00:27:37.400 she's the hard ass of the spiritual sort of healing world because she's very like she calls 0.99

00:27:43.220 out the bull like the kind of like bullshit where you're pretending like you're trying to heal but 1.00

00:27:48.420 you're actually just trying to stay in the same state that kind of shit she's really anyway so 0.99

00:27:53.240 wait take me back so i get it so now i've just gotten a text she's saying like i think it needed 0.94

00:27:57.960 the umbrella now it's getting too much sun and it's dying and i just i'm embarrassed don't be

00:28:03.540 and i just i can't take this kind of i mean i do the same thing with with her cat i guess you could

00:28:10.240 I was going to say like I do like almost just don't –

00:28:13.660 like the helping out then makes me feel like now it's like it's as if it's her plant.

00:28:18.300 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:19.700 And so now it's like on both of us, you know, like I just don't like it.

00:28:24.080 It's shared custody now.

00:28:24.540 Yeah, well, now that she's nurtured it.

00:28:26.120 But then again, her cat, every time it makes its way somehow out onto the street side

00:28:31.140 and I see it out there where there's cars, I text her and say, you know,

00:28:36.840 like the cat's out front, like it escaped.

00:28:39.500 and so that's me worrying about the cat's life

00:28:41.860 okay that's me worrying about the cat's life on her behalf

00:28:44.080 I even went out once and was like

00:28:45.680 I heard that this plant like

00:28:47.080 is poisonous to cats

00:28:48.920 so the cat's constantly escaping

00:28:50.440 escaping from the inner part of the apartment building

00:28:54.060 like the courtyard essentially

00:28:55.680 to the like street side

00:28:57.040 yeah and it's scary when it gets out there

00:28:59.620 and like it seems to be doing you know

00:29:01.060 it seems to be doing fine but it's just

00:29:03.000 I really struggle

00:29:04.980 this is a deeply intimate relationship with your neighbor

00:29:06.900 caring for plants, caring for cats

00:29:09.180 But, I mean, that's also the dream.

00:29:10.600 It's just happened.

00:29:11.200 I mean, I'm very close to my neighbor.

00:29:13.120 Ogden Nash said, good fences make good neighbors.

00:29:17.180 I think that was him.

00:29:18.100 I think it was in a poem, or it was the poem.

00:29:20.420 Boundaries, et cetera, et cetera.

00:29:23.700 Et, E.T.

00:29:24.920 I've lost the way.

00:29:26.100 I know.

00:29:26.500 Okay, listen.

00:29:27.600 Because there's a lot to discuss.

00:29:28.600 We also have to go to break.

00:29:29.600 Can you believe it?

00:29:30.540 No, I can't.

00:29:31.420 That's shocking.

00:29:32.300 Oh, that's so nice.

00:29:33.140 She said, just a heads up, not trying to be in your business.

00:29:36.200 I really appreciate that.

00:29:37.320 Because I'm going to have to be like, you have every right.

00:29:40.060 You cared for them.

00:29:40.960 It's very sweet.

00:29:41.680 I'm pulling up the list because there's a lot I wanted to cover with you.

00:29:44.940 Okay, well, let's go to break and then we'll delve into the list when we return.

00:29:48.140 All right, great.

00:29:52.240 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:29:56.300 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:30:01.300 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:30:05.300 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:30:06.560 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:30:10.380 No, I am not your guru.

00:30:14.140 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:30:16.760 I lied to police.

00:30:18.020 I lied to everybody.

00:30:19.020 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:30:22.000 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:30:24.680 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:30:27.500 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:30:30.840 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:30:33.760 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:30:35.160 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:30:38.360 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:30:41.400 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:30:42.700 This is The Red Weather.

00:30:45.720 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:30:57.540 We're back.

00:30:58.180 Okay, we're back.

00:30:58.860 We're in Act 3, and there's a lot to cover.

00:31:02.000 Okay, so let's go.

00:31:03.200 All right, first things first.

00:31:05.020 I have been shopping or attempting to shop and failing, okay, in three arenas.

00:31:11.020 Ikea, Alpha at the Container Store.

00:31:13.620 Ikea has to go.

00:31:15.300 Ikea has to go.

00:31:16.680 That's not true, actually.

00:31:17.500 As soon as I said it, I knew it was wrong.

00:31:19.500 Well, you know those vintage Ikea furniture is like absolutely gorgeous

00:31:22.660 and like highly sought after.

00:31:24.980 Highly sought after.

00:31:26.000 Like from the 80s.

00:31:27.760 It's like, yeah.

00:31:28.780 Beautiful.

00:31:29.420 Yeah.

00:31:29.720 No, no, no.

00:31:30.220 But here's the thing with Ikea and here's why I'm sucked in time and again.

00:31:34.380 If you know what to get there, okay, it can be huge.

00:31:38.640 So, like, they have, not everything's part of the board.

00:31:41.720 Rags.

00:31:42.640 No, they have, like, metal furniture, okay?

00:31:45.680 Okay.

00:31:46.600 They have, like, metal, like, yeah, yeah, and, like, epoxy, powdered, whatever, you know.

00:31:54.200 Well, I want to say this is going to be a huge thing happening on POOG,

00:31:56.380 which is my home, my first time, I'm going to now have an office, okay?

00:32:00.340 A home office.

00:32:00.900 Okay, well, that's huge because the other thing that is happening today

00:32:03.900 is obviously me cleaning, reorganizing my office.

00:32:07.040 And you know what my desks are, folding tables.

00:32:09.360 I told you about this.

00:32:10.580 Okay, and I'm thinking about getting a third today,

00:32:12.400 delivered, $99 and no regrets.

00:32:16.940 But I'm losing my mind, okay?

00:32:18.580 I'm just trying to get some stuff in the office.

00:32:20.520 Like I'm cleaning up my office and I go,

00:32:22.060 I need a filing cabinet.

00:32:23.040 I need it now.

00:32:23.840 I need it too.

00:32:24.460 Then I start researching and I lost the entire day.

00:32:26.840 I lost yesterday.

00:32:28.100 I lost yesterday to the IVAR system.

00:32:30.240 I bought a filing cabinet years ago.

00:32:32.500 It's disgusting.

00:32:33.180 I got it from Staples for like four cents 0.94

00:32:35.140 and it just suppresses me every day.

00:32:37.240 And it's like,

00:32:37.800 because then they had a filing cabinet.

00:32:38.940 It was like $120.

00:32:40.320 And I was like,

00:32:41.080 I'm going to spend that on filing.

00:32:42.640 Like that's obscene.

00:32:43.940 So I bought the cheapest one.

00:32:45.280 The sound it makes when it opens is so traumatic.

00:32:48.680 It like triggers the impossibility of paperwork.

00:32:51.800 Yeah.

00:32:51.940 I mean,

00:32:52.160 the ones at a container store,

00:32:53.580 like the Bisley.

00:32:54.660 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:32:55.540 The Bisley and the Poppin are like,

00:32:57.660 what, 300? 1.00

00:32:59.880 Holy shit. 0.99

00:33:00.960 And they have, 0.99

00:33:01.240 you get,

00:33:01.580 And what are you buying?

00:33:05.000 A smooth drawer experience?

00:33:08.120 Well, that's the question because I'm not even looking at it.

00:33:10.280 The pull, it has a nice pull.

00:33:11.880 I think it's the hanging file.

00:33:13.420 I think it has to do with that little metal edge for hanging files.

00:33:17.220 Here's a question.

00:33:18.180 Yeah.

00:33:18.700 How long do we hold on?

00:33:20.440 Okay, for example, if I have receipts from 2019,

00:33:23.900 that's fairly recent.

00:33:26.680 When do we start shredding?

00:33:28.120 When do we start burning?

00:33:29.680 Like, what am I supposed to hold on to?

00:33:33.400 And I was thinking today,

00:33:34.400 because I'm dreading back in LA, 0.99

00:33:36.380 I have this like piles of shit that I have to deal with. 0.99

00:33:38.960 I have loose keys. 0.98

00:33:40.920 I'm like, what keys are these?

00:33:42.440 And this morning, truly upon waking,

00:33:45.100 I was like, I'm recycling them.

00:33:46.980 I'm like, I'm going to go.

00:33:47.720 These are my house keys.

00:33:49.140 And then guess what?

00:33:50.340 Because it's terrifying.

00:33:51.380 Throwing away a key feels, first of all,

00:33:53.020 symbolically really treacherous and scary.

00:33:55.920 But I'm going to do it because...

00:33:58.300 I know I have keys.

00:33:58.980 What are these keys?

00:33:59.880 Why am I drowning in keys?

00:34:01.500 I need my key, my neighbor's key.

00:34:03.560 I need like, you know, I'll do my essential keys.

00:34:06.020 Right.

00:34:06.280 Get your essential keys in gear.

00:34:07.780 Me kind of suddenly being like my neighbor's key.

00:34:10.060 Me somehow trying to tip off while I'm close with my neighbor too.

00:34:13.060 No.

00:34:13.360 I feel like just now.

00:34:14.080 Was that the goal?

00:34:14.460 No, it wasn't.

00:34:15.200 I was completely subconscious, but I caught it to myself.

00:34:18.060 I was like, my key, my neighbor's key.

00:34:22.080 I do have a community.

00:34:23.740 I'm too unbound by the fence and separated eternally by it.

00:34:26.640 I was dying to tell you.

00:34:28.020 that

00:34:28.920 forgot

00:34:31.280 for sure

00:34:33.280 neighbor's key

00:34:34.460 what did you

00:34:35.520 oh community

00:34:36.160 yeah

00:34:36.540 I finally found it

00:34:38.200 okay not really

00:34:39.260 okay but in two forms

00:34:40.240 and it's hysterical

00:34:41.660 okay

00:34:42.020 one 0.98

00:34:42.740 come here pig 0.96

00:34:43.880 um 1.00

00:34:45.040 god damn Tracy Anderson 1.00

00:34:46.720 okay 0.99

00:34:47.260 and I don't even

00:34:49.000 participate

00:34:49.700 in the conversations

00:34:50.900 you sent me some pictures 1.00

00:34:52.000 of your ass 1.00

00:34:52.580 the other day 1.00

00:34:53.020 and I was

00:34:53.520 really excited for you

00:34:55.240 and also

00:34:55.660 people in jeans

00:34:56.480 to be clear

00:34:57.480 I almost sent you this nude video of me.

00:35:00.400 Maybe I still will.

00:35:01.320 For which purpose?

00:35:02.640 Just to kind of go, hey.

00:35:04.120 Ragadocio?

00:35:04.880 No, no, no, not even.

00:35:06.000 Just kind of like, but you know when you get a vid and you're like,

00:35:09.320 this is a highly flattering, like nude, you know,

00:35:12.460 and it's like I always have the urge to send those to my friends.

00:35:15.220 I actually don't have any of those, to be clear.

00:35:17.040 I mean, I don't, I never take nudes.

00:35:19.820 I wouldn't do it without a workshop supporting me.

00:35:22.400 You know what I mean?

00:35:23.660 I wouldn't have the, so here's the next question.

00:35:26.820 Here's the other thing I've been losing.

00:35:27.760 So Alpha, okay, I've done all the online designers.

00:35:31.380 It's endless, okay, and it just, I fall apart.

00:35:34.240 I decide, no, I need to go to the store.

00:35:35.580 It's the only way to do it.

00:35:36.500 Then I go to the store, I go, nope, online is the only way to do it,

00:35:38.780 to organize, to figure it out.

00:35:40.120 So back and forth from online to the store is a huge part of my life,

00:35:43.420 and it's exhausting.

00:35:45.140 Okay, that's that.

00:35:45.820 I just got really excited.

00:35:47.020 So I'm cutting in to say I can't wait to go to the mall with you when I get back.

00:35:49.680 I love it.

00:35:50.320 Christmas, Grove.

00:35:50.840 I feel like Christmas at the Grove.

00:35:54.220 Los Angeles Christmas is so beautiful,

00:35:55.840 and I love all the movies that start with it, you know?

00:35:58.240 Okay.

00:35:58.940 Okay, I can't just use Pook to make plans.

00:36:00.700 Keep going.

00:36:01.300 I was getting into like the micro details of, okay, keep going.

00:36:04.020 Of when?

00:36:04.940 Yeah, yeah.

00:36:05.440 Just like locking me in.

00:36:06.860 I wanted to lock you in, yeah.

00:36:08.600 You've got me, okay?

00:36:09.520 Thank you.

00:36:10.300 Because once I'm in the water, you know, with someone,

00:36:13.080 it's very easy for me.

00:36:14.040 It doesn't feel like a big deal to hang out.

00:36:15.780 And we're in the water constantly now together.

00:36:17.780 Yeah.

00:36:18.060 Work out clothes.

00:36:19.760 I've been searching unitard and bike-tard, okay, for weeks.

00:36:24.240 and I am struggling between extremely expensive and extremely cheap.

00:36:30.980 Don't do it. Extremely cheap.

00:36:32.160 Listen, this is why I classically work out nude

00:36:35.660 because I cannot suffer the laundry that accompanies exercise.

00:36:41.220 Yeah.

00:36:41.900 Then again, but you're like really sweating.

00:36:43.760 If you're really, really sweating, you need the clothes.

00:36:46.760 What?

00:36:47.320 Yeah.

00:36:48.500 I just feel like, you know, I didn't do that thing

00:36:51.100 where like you start working out on day two,

00:36:53.300 you get like a wardrobe to celebrate

00:36:55.560 and then it ends up in a cowboy boot

00:36:58.780 in a donation bin or whatever.

00:37:02.580 But I feel like I've done it near daily

00:37:09.620 for three months or something, these workouts.

00:37:12.020 Oh, my God. That's incredible.

00:37:13.780 I think I'm owed a new sports bra.

00:37:17.860 Oh, yeah.

00:37:18.540 I have a sports bra that at this point,

00:37:21.260 wait, let me truly do the math here.

00:37:22.480 Wow

00:37:23.560 It's basically 15 years old

00:37:27.560 Oh yeah

00:37:28.500 But it's distended to hell

00:37:30.200 It's like

00:37:31.580 Sports bras I just

00:37:34.040 I don't know

00:37:35.380 I mean it's a tit issue

00:37:37.180 I wish I had like gazongas that had to be contained

00:37:40.800 I hate the word gazonga 1.00

00:37:43.320 I know you must too 1.00

00:37:45.040 Are you like milkers? Natural milkers?

00:37:48.680 I basically don't like any pluralization

00:37:51.940 of the bosom okay that may not be true that might not be true but but but it is a fun idea

00:37:57.980 I mean I tolerate all these okay I tolerate all these and I'm even forced to use them 1.00

00:38:05.300 I've heard women say tits a lot and kind of like it's kind of like cool because they're they're 0.99

00:38:11.260 they're not being precious yeah we all struggle with you know getting the sts at the end of the 0.91

00:38:16.780 word breast in plural right it's kind of hard to land breasts yeah but i i i want the answer i want

00:38:26.520 wrecks i want unitards i want the zip up bike you're putting it out there and you're gonna get

00:38:31.860 them yeah and i will wear them and promote them great in these videos much like i'm wearing my

00:38:38.180 own sweatshirt today i'm seeing your sweatshirt that has your face on it that i of course own

00:38:42.740 it's back in LA and I can't wait to cozy up with it to feel me around you um you had a lot of

00:38:49.300 to say something I wanted to just briefly mention something which are you aware of like the hugely

00:38:57.240 controversial issue of dental work and like the idea of like not this is something that paralyzes

00:39:04.680 me okay the idea of like oh god like okay there's a whole school of thought i don't even know school

00:39:14.060 thought is the way to describe it but there's a growing community there's a growing uh philosophy

00:39:20.020 that one of the key causes of inflammation which can lead to all kinds of disease is from poor

00:39:26.700 dental work and that that like shitty root canal or that whatever you got that there is like

00:39:32.020 creating the subterranean this like subterranean 0.97

00:39:38.100 bacteria and there's like it's something oh god damn it of course i don't have all the

00:39:44.720 information or even half of it so i don't know how to really go into it but i just started to 0.93

00:39:49.280 get paralyzed in the face of like oh god dental work as like because we we don't we we undervalue

00:39:55.420 the mouth and dental hygiene like i've been talking about this flossing right and how

00:40:00.280 dementia in these, there's like,

00:40:02.780 there's like, ideas like plaque between your teeth

00:40:04.860 can like cause dementia.

00:40:06.620 Like slip into the brain or something.

00:40:08.500 I've seen a couple posts.

00:40:10.420 So it's like we have to floss twice a day.

00:40:12.020 Oh, right.

00:40:12.320 What's the cycle you said?

00:40:13.280 Is it 12 hour?

00:40:13.680 Do you want to break up the 12 hour bacterial cycle?

00:40:15.540 Yeah.

00:40:15.980 Oh, wow.

00:40:16.880 Do you have a water flosser?

00:40:17.940 Because it is very pleasurable.

00:40:19.940 Let me guess.

00:40:20.320 You're going, it's not the same.

00:40:21.800 I've heard that water flossing is not great for you, actually.

00:40:24.760 I forget.

00:40:25.200 It was a trusted source.

00:40:26.280 That's all I know.

00:40:26.880 I just remember reading it and going,

00:40:28.000 well, this I believe.

00:40:28.900 Now, it's one thing to say that it can't replace the scrape, scrape, scrape.

00:40:32.760 Yeah, I guess have fun with it, enjoy.

00:40:34.480 But for me, I just, I enjoy floss.

00:40:36.340 And also, a water flosser takes up half your counter.

00:40:39.820 You want to fill up the tub.

00:40:40.780 That to me is like, oh, I don't like that.

00:40:42.340 And I'm still using it.

00:40:43.480 And there's two.

00:40:44.500 I suffer from a lack of counter space in every regard.

00:40:46.980 But mine's a pedestal sink.

00:40:49.040 And I have two.

00:40:50.420 That's hard.

00:40:51.180 Pedestal sink is really hard.

00:40:52.840 That is a photo to post on Pug.

00:40:54.440 Yeah, pedestal sink, two full water pick units.

00:40:58.020 What?

00:40:58.580 Just taking up space.

00:40:59.840 How did I not notice those?

00:41:01.860 You've never been in my home.

00:41:02.520 I'm afraid of dental work and I have to, you know,

00:41:05.680 I'm way overdue for cleaning because I've been in a town.

00:41:07.660 You know what I'm doing?

00:41:09.020 I want to whiten my teeth.

00:41:11.240 Me too.

00:41:11.560 But they're so sensitive that, like,

00:41:13.240 I'll use a Crest white strip and be in bed for three days or whatever.

00:41:16.800 I used those in high school.

00:41:18.400 What?

00:41:18.740 I remember using Crest white strips in high school once.

00:41:21.180 And did you have the pain?

00:41:22.280 No, but I was also 15.

00:41:24.000 It was like, you know, you're invincible at 15.

00:41:26.120 just exposed nerve of a tooth.

00:41:28.900 I have a friend who her teeth, I think, are whitened.

00:41:31.760 And I'll just ask her.

00:41:32.620 She would not tell me, I don't think. 1.00

00:41:34.160 But it's a really good whitening job 0.99

00:41:37.060 because people slip into it.

00:41:38.840 You can't have it be the shocking halogen lighting white

00:41:41.520 because that's repulsive and conjures images of animatronics.

00:41:47.660 It shouldn't be whiter than your eyes.

00:41:49.740 Oh, yeah.

00:41:50.900 Those kinds of like, kind of like, you know,

00:41:54.080 You don't want your jaw, your jaw should not be wider than your, you know, these kinds 0.98

00:41:59.040 of like horrifying eugenics. 0.98

00:42:01.040 Oh God, well at least the tooth one is sort of like on some level in your control. 0.72

00:42:06.060 Like the tooth one doesn't offend me because at least it's saying don't go too far with

00:42:10.280 the cosmetic procedure.

00:42:11.500 Yes, of course.

00:42:11.640 You know what I mean?

00:42:11.960 Pull back. 0.99

00:42:12.740 But that other shit, I always go back to Christy Turlington. 0.98

00:42:16.500 I remember my friend telling me like 11 years old that it was like they did a study or like 0.98

00:42:21.840 scientists gathered to find the most beautiful woman i think i've mentioned this on poog

00:42:27.260 like like scientifically like proportion or whatever and they were like charlington oh my 0.95

00:42:33.220 god yeah yeah it's charlington and that shit is obviously like i just had a memory can i tell you 0.98

00:42:39.720 completely fucked up for a thousand reasons yeah yeah for a thousand but i these are like okay 0.99

00:42:45.600 this is the why why do certain memories why are they so ingrained i just had this memory come up 0.99

00:42:50.680 of taking a shower.

00:42:51.920 I was like probably fifth grade,

00:42:55.400 I don't know,

00:42:55.740 taking a shower with a girlfriend,

00:42:58.020 with one of my little friends.

00:42:59.920 And I watched her wash her hair

00:43:01.800 and then she,

00:43:03.080 picture the open cap on my shampoo.

00:43:05.880 This is such an intimate moment

00:43:07.280 of my internal,

00:43:08.740 like my interior life world

00:43:10.260 that I've never articulated.

00:43:11.540 And so I saw her take the shower cap,

00:43:14.120 picture it open. 0.80

00:43:15.360 She closed it by hitting it

00:43:17.540 against the shower wall. 1.00

00:43:19.280 Oh my God.

00:43:20.680 wait okay okay hold on hold on hold on okay okay no i need to know she didn't close it with her 0.94

00:43:26.220 hand no i got that it was open and she just lightly tapped it up against the shower wall 0.61

00:43:32.600 to close it and this was like this moment that i witnessed that standing there drenched yes

00:43:38.340 fifth grade i don't know and i went she's fucking cool of course it like hit me and then i to this

00:43:46.180 day do that not always but from time to time and think about her in that moment it was like

00:43:50.580 anyway, I just, I don't even know what brought that on.

00:43:53.360 My silence, no, no, no, there is no anyway here.

00:43:55.320 My silence is pure revelation.

00:43:58.120 I mean, pure just stewing in this, relishing this.

00:44:01.180 I couldn't remember the word

00:44:01.800 and then I pictured literal relish

00:44:03.300 and that brought me to the word relish.

00:44:05.680 Now, you know, I'm dying to know exactly what kind of cap

00:44:08.540 because there's the kind that you press down

00:44:10.500 and that diagonally pushes the other thing

00:44:12.640 or the kind that is only secured by a little tab

00:44:15.640 that you lift up.

00:44:16.580 Those are treacherous, yeah.

00:44:17.540 I think it was, I think it was the former.

00:44:19.620 Wow.

00:44:20.280 Okay.

00:44:20.960 That's really interesting. 0.98

00:44:21.400 I just remember seeing her knock out.

00:44:22.320 I was like, I never knew you could do that.

00:44:24.020 I never knew that was possible.

00:44:25.620 I never knew that that was an option.

00:44:28.440 No, that, what is that like?

00:44:30.940 I'm trying to think of another one of those because those are huge.

00:44:35.100 I don't know.

00:44:35.560 I can't think of one, but I love it so much.

00:44:37.380 I mean, I used to experience intensely, and I guess in some ways still do,

00:44:41.400 like anytime I'm introduced to like another person's way of doing anything.

00:44:46.260 I know.

00:44:46.960 It's the best.

00:44:47.380 Because it's different, I assume, like, it's better.

00:44:50.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:51.380 I'm just like, oh, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:44:53.680 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:44:54.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:55.800 But you also, because I'm only in, like, polarities here.

00:45:00.620 I'm either like, oh, my God, I've been doing it the whole time,

00:45:03.560 or I slip into, like, instant admiration and, like, you know, awe,

00:45:08.540 or maybe I'm horrified, and it's like, that's not how you do that.

00:45:13.600 not like i wouldn't say i get callous but i just think sometimes it it pushes me further into

00:45:20.040 myself or takes me completely no like here's an example so i like review these moments that

00:45:26.260 this is more related to what you just said but like you said you being callous and that's not

00:45:31.240 when you do that and so i looked in my memory to try to find you doing that to me and the only

00:45:37.320 thing i could think of is when we did that shoot for the mac for allure magazine yeah of course

00:45:43.700 and you i think it was that and you were like can i borrow a makeup brush or something and i was 0.93

00:45:50.100 like looking i was like i like have none or i can't find them like my shit was not organized

00:45:54.460 you know like i was like what what kind you're like any just any brought like any makeup brush

00:46:01.440 like kind of like surely like like it doesn't matter which one but obviously you have one and

00:46:06.260 like at the moment I didn't because they were all like I don't know where you know they were

00:46:09.520 tucked away in a cowboy boot yeah yeah um but like for whatever reason like I will hear that

00:46:19.100 in my head like any brush and it's not like I think about it all the time but it'll pass through

00:46:23.400 my brain it passed through my brain this morning as I as I looked at a pitiful little brush I don't

00:46:28.420 want that we injure each other no but it's not it's not I mean I don't see that as you injuring

00:46:34.560 me i see that as me injuring myself you know yeah utilizing a moment that is you know almost

00:46:41.040 nothing i just but it's like i often repeat and revisit just the tiny little things that are said

00:46:47.120 that seem like like a lot of times when i'm washing a dish i just flash back to this woman

00:46:54.080 getting mad at her daughter for not using hot water like like she didn't know that hot water

00:46:58.420 would clean it better and i just flashed to that moment in childhood sounds horrible like a friend's

00:47:02.920 mother i know it's like that's part of it too because it shocked me this kind of like i don't

00:47:08.000 think my mother's ever been like you're doing it wrong you know what i mean like that's not

00:47:12.800 my not neither has mine incredibly lucky to have not been abused wait let me just take a quick look

00:47:20.400 i've of course lost track of time oh i started a thing on our our instagram a new highlight there's

00:47:25.980 only one thing in it because we've been nominated for an iHeart award oh my god we haven't even

00:47:31.820 talked about it. What are we going to wear?

00:47:33.840 And I wrote that and I put it under a highlight.

00:47:36.160 Yes, I put it under a highlight called

00:47:37.620 begging that we're going to utilize

00:47:39.860 to openly

00:47:41.660 beg. Let's wear only free

00:47:43.800 things that we got for free to the

00:47:45.620 Poog Awards. That's what I'm talking about.

00:47:50.160 So I wrote a post 1.00

00:47:51.940 on Poog, okay? I wrote a post

00:47:53.760 on Poog that said like, what

00:47:55.520 will Kate and I wear?

00:47:57.240 And the tone was like,

00:47:59.740 who's going to provide an evening gown?

00:48:01.820 That was my intended tone.

00:48:04.600 And instead, I receive a bunch of, you may have seen them, DM responses that are all jokes.

00:48:13.800 As though they thought I was doing a bit like, what would we wear to the thing?

00:48:18.940 And they're like, what did you say?

00:48:21.140 And said, and bless them for it.

00:48:22.420 Yeah.

00:48:22.960 No, absolutely.

00:48:24.340 But like, oh, you cover yourself in lotion. 1.00

00:48:27.500 Almost like what would be a poog thing to wear was kind of the... 1.00

00:48:30.420 and I'm like, no, I guess I wasn't clear enough. 1.00

00:48:33.460 I didn't tag any designers.

00:48:35.500 Free stuff, yeah.

00:48:36.240 Yeah, so I have a new highlight called Begging,

00:48:38.140 and we're going to get very targeted.

00:48:39.900 I find it interesting that we're, so we're in the best.

00:48:42.600 We've been nominated for Best Wellness.

00:48:46.560 I mean, did they even listen?

00:48:48.580 I know, I know.

00:48:49.720 It's a comedy show, folks.

00:48:51.040 It's a comedy show.

00:48:53.260 I mean, yeah, it's disturbing,

00:48:55.280 and also to be nominated among people who are,

00:49:00.040 doctors actually like doing the God's work, doing God's work and like trying to, you know,

00:49:04.660 seek wellness. Like it's kind of like, I feel like bringing up, sorry, I'm interrupting.

00:49:08.460 Yes. As usual. No, this is just something small, which is just POOG is not capitalized. When did

00:49:14.280 this happen? Okay. We need to talk about this. So POOG is not spelled P-O-O-G, all caps. And by

00:49:20.680 the way, we don't blame people for doing that because somehow this happened. Of course not.

00:49:24.520 Well, it happened because of the logo.

00:49:25.460 How did it happen?

00:49:26.140 Okay, okay.

00:49:26.680 The logo is all caps.

00:49:28.820 How did this happen?

00:49:29.660 But the central two O's of POOG are an infinity symbol,

00:49:33.840 so in that sense they're not.

00:49:34.960 A logo doesn't mean—

00:49:36.800 It's not all—

00:49:37.340 Because seeing it in all caps implies—

00:49:39.960 It's not all caps.

00:49:41.540 It implies an acronym?

00:49:42.500 Yeah, it implies an acronym.

00:49:43.720 Or it's too directly the inversion of goop, if it's all caps.

00:49:49.080 But goop isn't all caps, is it?

00:49:50.520 I don't know.

00:49:51.300 Suddenly I'm unsure.

00:49:52.520 I'm looking it up.

00:49:53.140 It's not.

00:49:53.720 All right, look it up. 0.91

00:49:54.560 Honey, it's not, and neither is POOG.

00:49:56.920 So POOG to us, the humor, the sensibility of POOG is a capital P double O-G.

00:50:03.760 I'm sorry, capital P, lowercase O-O-G.

00:50:05.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:06.640 It's called title case.

00:50:07.980 Yes.

00:50:09.360 You know about title case?

00:50:10.500 Oh, no.

00:50:11.520 I know.

00:50:13.220 I just wanted to be friends.

00:50:14.440 Kate knows about title case that fast.

00:50:16.080 What the hell is that?

00:50:16.800 You know, like if you go to change, it's actually really important to know.

00:50:19.620 You know when you need to change something to all caps,

00:50:21.160 and you can go up to format or whatever

00:50:22.760 and hit on it.

00:50:23.500 There's another option there.

00:50:24.880 Title case,

00:50:25.400 which will capitalize the first letter of each word,

00:50:27.380 which is really useful sometimes.

00:50:28.800 Whoa, okay.

00:50:29.440 I had no idea.

00:50:30.800 Yeah, it's big.

00:50:31.660 And it's called title case

00:50:32.700 and it's kind of exciting.

00:50:33.860 So wait, what were we just saying?

00:50:35.580 The POOG awards?

00:50:36.140 Because I was thrilled. 1.00

00:50:37.440 Oh, P-W-O-G. 1.00

00:50:38.360 Yeah, it's like POOG is a word. 1.00

00:50:40.720 Yeah.

00:50:41.500 POOG is a proper noun.

00:50:44.200 Capitalized, but that's it.

00:50:45.360 Yeah, we have to end the lie of the all caps.

00:50:48.580 I feel like...

00:50:49.500 I mean, it's fine.

00:50:50.060 I don't have anger.

00:50:51.800 I mean, clearly it's bringing something up.

00:50:53.040 No, it's just interesting and it's important.

00:50:54.560 It's important to clarify because it just is.

00:50:58.520 It just is what it is.

00:50:59.940 A bug landed on my head yesterday

00:51:02.020 and I ran in a really reckless, scary way

00:51:07.040 and it made me realize that I could be in real danger

00:51:10.700 of like injuring myself or dying to avoid a bug.

00:51:13.820 In the case of fear, you mean?

00:51:14.160 Yeah.

00:51:14.800 Was it a flying bug or did it fall off a tree?

00:51:17.440 It was a stink bug that had landed on my forehead.

00:51:19.200 Wait, a what bug?

00:51:19.900 A stink bug, like a beetle, a stink beetle, had landed on my forehead.

00:51:24.420 And they do fly?

00:51:25.620 Oh, they fly.

00:51:26.880 And it was disgusting.

00:51:27.980 They fly slowly and lazily.

00:51:29.840 It alighted.

00:51:31.040 It alighted.

00:51:32.120 What?

00:51:32.920 You know, to alight.

00:51:34.340 Oh, to alight.

00:51:34.760 Sorry, landing just made me think like a bug fell

00:51:37.520 and like happened to land on my feet, on your forehead.

00:51:40.360 It chose my forehead.

00:51:41.360 I have this thing where I wonder in an emergency or in a,

00:51:46.560 like you know how you're clutching your bag or something or your phone?

00:51:49.900 right? Like if a car was like flying at me, if not practiced, would I drop my phone to dive?

00:51:56.740 I don't think I would. Do you see what I'm saying? Not to protect the phone, but the body's habit.

00:52:02.320 You would clutch even tighter probably. Yeah. And so I'm like, I need to almost train myself

00:52:06.500 like, or sometimes I say like, if I'm freaked out by something, sometimes certain LA streets

00:52:10.800 and I'm walking on the sidewalk and like, I just feel like, you know, LA drivers, it's out of

00:52:15.080 control and i'm like they're gonna just careen of course into me and i look around and sort of go

00:52:20.160 like if it happens like dive lady like die and i have to like prime myself to just soar through

00:52:27.660 the air with with my entire body's god but the 911 show oh yeah i am just i'm enjoying so much i

00:52:34.360 actually said the words out loud last night i guess about murphy and ryan murphy and and brad

00:52:39.680 falchuk like i think it's their show whatever i actually said the words as a bouncy castle

00:52:45.020 took off a hundred feet new air and a father falls out of it okay and like they just they

00:52:51.800 do outrageous brutal emergencies and it's like every episode's a new emergency sometimes more

00:52:57.500 than one often oh wow of course i said something like some people understand what a television

00:53:02.640 show is and you make it yes i love like i just can't like a huge pronouncement that's what i

00:53:10.200 felt when i watch billions on an airplane by the way i was like fine what's this i had no clue

00:53:14.540 this was like i watched four episodes two years ago on a plane and it oh completely stuck with me

00:53:21.500 i was like you know what make television why don't you try television people yeah like hey you know

00:53:26.780 what a television show is like do you know what i mean like it's meant to be a certain thing now

00:53:30.220 I also, of course, love prestige television, okay?

00:53:33.640 Live and die for it.

00:53:35.060 Live and die for it, 1.00

00:53:36.320 but not at the expense of a goddamn network show. 1.00

00:53:42.820 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:53:43.180 I mean, I've also been just, you know, I love Evil.

00:53:45.680 It's a big one for me.

00:53:46.780 It was canceled and then re-resurrected on Paramount+.

00:53:50.120 I immediately subscribed for Evil.

00:53:52.680 And I just, it's the thing where I'm like,

00:53:55.280 these are my friends and I'm happy about it.

00:53:57.340 The show?

00:53:57.520 Yeah, I just want to tune in and spend time with my friends, 0.94

00:54:00.620 like the characters in the show, as they ding-dong.

00:54:04.160 Wait, that's not the sound.

00:54:05.700 In the firehouse, like they chat, they have their personal issues,

00:54:09.140 and then they head off to deal with the issues of the week.

00:54:11.760 And I just, the suspension.

00:54:15.480 I am suspended in a cloud of comfort while watching television.

00:54:19.860 I love television.

00:54:20.800 And that's, I think, why, you know, some of us yearn, right, to make TV.

00:54:25.160 because the comfort that's provided us,

00:54:28.600 you feel a need to give back.

00:54:30.180 Oh, yeah.

00:54:30.800 To take up the mantle.

00:54:32.640 I feel like, I actually thought the same day,

00:54:34.040 like you don't watch three hours of television

00:54:36.000 at the end of your night like I do, right?

00:54:38.700 Or six hours sometimes.

00:54:40.860 Well, sometimes.

00:54:41.860 It can start late.

00:54:42.640 I do tend to become sleepy.

00:54:44.360 I love watching something at the end of the day.

00:54:46.700 But no, it's true.

00:54:47.260 Even the way you're describing it,

00:54:49.120 I can tell there's a conscious mindfulness to it.

00:54:52.460 Me, it's like, it's food, it's TV,

00:54:55.160 and it escorts me into the night.

00:54:58.240 It's how I want to end every night.

00:55:00.180 It's heaven.

00:55:01.680 It's heaven.

00:55:02.700 God, last night I ordered in some Chinese food

00:55:04.760 and I won't lie.

00:55:07.460 A mere hour after I ordered in Shake Shack,

00:55:10.180 I'm not joking.

00:55:11.800 Okay?

00:55:12.160 I was still hungry,

00:55:13.180 so I ordered again.

00:55:14.240 Okay, what...

00:55:15.160 And that was scary for me to say.

00:55:17.160 Does something go wrong with the order?

00:55:18.540 Were you not satisfied?

00:55:19.460 Like, was the Chinese food incredible?

00:55:20.320 I was starving and I think it must be

00:55:22.300 because...

00:55:23.820 I'm sorry.

00:55:24.300 right my Tracy workouts have kicked up it's true you have to eat when you're working out you have

00:55:28.560 to eat a lot so it's like I get my you know lettuce wrap I got a lettuce wrap let's just I

00:55:34.360 already feel myself trying to hide from the people that you know lettuce wrap burger and a hot dog

00:55:40.680 in a lettuce wrap because I was dogs yeah they're way down on the menu I feel like they're like

00:55:46.360 below the ice cream somehow whoa because I was like because I love their chicken shack but I

00:55:51.740 I was going to try to avoid the fried whatever

00:55:54.040 because keeping the blood sugar down, the carbs, whatever.

00:55:58.080 Or keeping it stable.

00:55:59.440 I'm getting a glucose monitor, by the way.

00:56:00.980 I've reached out to January about it.

00:56:03.540 And their partnership program is not ready,

00:56:06.180 but I'm going to pay like I always do.

00:56:08.400 So I got a burger and a hot dog, both in lettuce wraps.

00:56:12.280 I ate them.

00:56:13.200 I found myself still yearning, okay?

00:56:15.220 And I had a big night of television ahead of me.

00:56:16.860 A lot of hours to log watching 911.

00:56:20.140 one. And so I just, I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm still hungry. I'm still hungry. And

00:56:24.320 this is probably an hour and a half later. And so I ordered in goddamn classic steamed vegetables 0.99

00:56:31.980 from a Chinese restaurant and mushu chicken again. And again, I just want to say no pancake, 0.99

00:56:37.780 no sweet sauce, just those things alone with a little momofuku soy that I had in the, in the

00:56:44.180 fridge. Okay. Well, I just want to say, cause when you say I ordered Chinese food and Shake Shack,

00:56:48.360 It's like what you're presenting is a deeply alternate model for that.

00:56:53.920 Well, yes, but it's still true.

00:56:55.540 A lot of people don't have the courage.

00:56:57.300 They don't have the courage.

00:56:58.360 And I don't think I would.

00:56:59.020 To order twice.

00:57:00.080 Yeah.

00:57:00.760 The shame.

00:57:01.820 Well, I have so much shame attached to delivery.

00:57:04.200 You do?

00:57:04.800 Yeah.

00:57:05.460 We've talked about this.

00:57:06.460 Yeah.

00:57:06.720 I don't really get delivery.

00:57:08.000 That's so interesting.

00:57:09.240 I mean, to me, I don't, I guess, because I see it as,

00:57:13.100 I don't know why I don't.

00:57:14.140 I just don't.

00:57:15.220 It's like, to me, it's like, you know,

00:57:16.740 restaurants are the only reason to live, as you said.

00:57:19.080 Well, yes.

00:57:19.680 And to me, delivery is, you know.

00:57:21.960 An extension of that?

00:57:23.240 Yeah, the only reason to keep living.

00:57:25.240 I don't know. 0.54

00:57:27.220 Oh, she's topping me again.

00:57:29.260 I'm going to take video.

00:57:30.920 I don't know, because I can't,

00:57:32.380 because we need to get the original.

00:57:34.280 I know.

00:57:34.820 That's the motion of the people.

00:57:36.540 Okay, and by the way, guess who?

00:57:38.240 I'm overwhelmed.

00:57:38.700 Guess who's happy?

00:57:39.200 I am, because I'm starving,

00:57:41.120 and I'm going to a huge Italian dinner.

00:57:43.440 I've never had a dinner reservation this early in my life.

00:57:46.840 Guess what time my dinner reservation is for?

00:57:49.940 Oh, 5.30?

00:57:51.260 Four.

00:57:51.720 No.

00:57:52.080 Listen, listen. 0.99

00:57:54.080 I know it's fucked up. 0.99

00:57:55.900 I have to be somewhere. 0.99

00:57:57.000 Okay, so it must be an incredible place.

00:57:57.820 I have to be somewhere at 6.30 on the dot.

00:58:00.440 I will not go to this Italian restaurant while I'm here.

00:58:02.660 Are you expecting to work after an Italian meal?

00:58:05.500 No, no, no, no, no.

00:58:06.180 Oh, okay.

00:58:06.540 It's nothing like that.

00:58:07.580 No, it's recreation.

00:58:09.240 It's a recreational 6.30.

00:58:10.820 Guess what?

00:58:11.260 I'm starving.

00:58:11.920 I'm going to have dinner in less than two hours.

00:58:13.880 In Pittsburgh.

00:58:14.700 Yeah.

00:58:15.140 Right?

00:58:15.700 Okay, so you found out.

00:58:16.340 So what do you feel?

00:58:17.160 Why do I need you to tell me it's okay?

00:58:19.260 Oh, my God.

00:58:20.320 Of course it's okay.

00:58:21.500 Four o'clock.

00:58:22.240 It's crazy.

00:58:22.800 What's the concern?

00:58:23.820 I actually don't know.

00:58:24.320 And actually, four o'clock dinner sets you up nicely for a ten o'clock delivery, okay,

00:58:28.280 when you're hungry again.

00:58:29.060 Well, that's the thing is I know I'll be eating later.

00:58:30.780 Because guess what?

00:58:30.800 Six hours later.

00:58:31.540 That's fine, yeah.

00:58:32.740 You'll be starving.

00:58:33.580 It's more than I think, yeah.

00:58:34.840 Well, luckily, I'll be at a function.

00:58:36.960 See, now I'm experiencing reverse shame almost of, you know, my low, like, like my, I'm feeling the shame almost like, because we know the story would be like cooler if I was just like, yeah, and then Kung Pao chicken, you know what I mean?

00:58:52.180 Like, like now I'm feeling embarrassed almost about my dietary modifications.

00:58:57.100 No, don't, don't, don't.

00:58:58.320 Like, I don't, you know, I'm not that person.

00:59:00.360 No, we know that you're not.

00:59:01.400 We know that you're not, but we actually truly have to go.

00:59:04.120 All right.

00:59:04.540 Well, that's the truth.

00:59:05.240 We all are.

00:59:05.780 I really don't want to leave.

00:59:07.000 We have so much more to talk about.

00:59:08.140 Maybe we should record another episode later in the day.

00:59:10.700 Well, I, of course, am unable due to my Italian dinner.

00:59:14.200 I know.

00:59:14.540 It's earlier here.

00:59:16.100 All right.

00:59:16.420 I love you.

00:59:17.520 I love you.

00:59:18.860 That was Pug.

00:59:21.100 If you enjoyed Pug, please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:59:24.880 If not, we will press charges.

00:59:26.580 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:59:36.460 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:59:40.400 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:59:44.180 No, I am not your guru.

00:59:47.860 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:59:50.180 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:59:52.740 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:59:56.580 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:00:03.020 This is an iHeart Podcast.

01:00:05.500 Guaranteed human.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - October 26, 2021

The Poog Awards

Episode Stats

Transcript