Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 06, 2025


Trip on a Grave

Topics
plunging a toilet founding listeners
Berlant & Novak - The New Podcast from Poog's Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak Shadow Desires

Episode Stats


Length

55 minutes

Words per minute

194.85

Word count

10,783

Sentence count

652

Harmful content

Misogyny

11

sentences flagged

Toxicity

82

sentences flagged

Hate speech

49

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
00:00:00.000 This episode is brought to you by Fatty15.
00:00:02.960 Fatty15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to help you live healthier, longer.
00:00:07.820 You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com slash hags and use code hags at checkout.
00:00:18.900 Two best friends, both alike in dignity.
00:00:21.520 Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. 1.00
00:00:23.800 The hag divines when something must die. 1.00
00:00:26.140 Yes, that was poog. 0.99
00:00:27.240 But this is huge. 1.00
00:00:28.680 The ego loves to seek, but never to find.
00:00:31.640 It was Berlant and Novak the whole time.
00:00:38.680 Are we in?
00:00:39.920 We're in.
00:00:40.480 No, we're not in.
00:00:41.940 Oh, we're in.
00:00:43.080 We are?
00:00:43.660 Yeah.
00:00:44.160 We're recording.
00:00:45.140 The episode has begun.
00:00:46.420 Well, I have an announcement.
00:00:47.920 I want to, listen, I just want to come in hard and hot and say,
00:00:52.040 Christmas time is here.
00:00:55.600 You know, I see what I'm warming up for.
00:00:56.960 No, no, no, no, no.
00:00:58.040 What's that?
00:00:58.680 oh everybody everybody's waiting for the man with the back i heard it in cvs time in target i
00:01:05.220 still never heard it in the wild i something has taken hold i've never felt the need for
00:01:11.520 it's like christmas more than you do now i'm regressing it's but it's helpful because now
00:01:16.080 i'm a woman i'm no longer a child okay so i'm experiencing christmas through the lens of being
00:01:19.960 a woman and so wow yeah by the way i've been thinking about finally becoming a woman finally
00:01:25.880 again actually oh my god it's a huge huge woman became a woman who okay first of all christmas
00:01:31.100 with the eyes of a woman it's happening it's happening to me live it's happening to me right 0.75
00:01:34.120 now okay second of all i was on a job this week and a makeup artist gorgeous gay man shaved my
00:01:44.520 mustache oh yeah offered to shave it i was off a red eye 8 a.m first i felt pain i felt shame
00:01:53.940 by the way mustache I have to say I really it's not strong I just have like some of the baby hairs
00:01:58.320 but it's really not yeah that pronounced but I for whatever reason here I am and I go yeah sure 0.97
00:02:03.660 at first my instinct was no don't shave me and then I go shave it bitch I go yeah we were all 0.90
00:02:10.080 told to be afraid with the little things with the little probably I immediately texted you 0.99
00:02:14.080 dermaplane-ish with the dermaplane I go yeah you texted me is it gonna girl back spike you one of
00:02:18.200 the greatest sort of is it a myth is it not a myth questions well of course because I was humiliated
00:02:23.840 in high school once in desperation i was like i had a razor you know let's say and i was like i was
00:02:28.300 like like this like i was oh yeah and then i remember like being scolded i was thinking this 0.95
00:02:34.360 yesterday this it must oh because your text it was like like a fucking nerd being like i'm calling 0.96
00:02:41.980 him nerd because he said this he was he's like it looks like you shaved it and it's growing back in 0.97
00:02:46.440 it's like and i like i was like i went with which i never do strict denial sheer denial of course i
00:02:51.800 go no i didn't you know yeah and and i was thinking about that yesterday as you told this thing i was
00:02:58.400 just like you look gorgeous okay but he shaved now yeah you look beautiful right now he shaved 0.97
00:03:03.240 my mustache i have a lot to talk about bum bum bum and i go great who fucking and now so now 0.98
00:03:09.080 my mustache is shaved yeah and i'm a woman experiencing christmas yeah i'm maniacally 0.98
00:03:13.640 i'm on of course john darien the the christmas my christmas mecca that's the holy land of yeah
00:03:19.660 john darian new york shout out and the website's incredible and they do you know they have the
00:03:24.160 most beautiful christmas ornaments in culture now okay but i know that you love john darian
00:03:30.220 okay have you actually identified that they have the best christmas ornaments in culture
00:03:34.400 or you you've done you've looked elsewhere or are you just locked in this is like with lacy
00:03:40.220 lacy edges crispy edges okay yeah i'm locked in where you just believe that like you're like the
00:03:44.600 burger's really good there it has crispy edges crispy lacy edges okay i enjoyed a burger that
00:03:49.020 didn't have crispy edges this is what i'm saying okay and so and then you i feel like for three
00:03:52.180 years you were fixated okay on crispy edges okay but john darien almost to a point of where i'm
00:03:57.740 just wondering if you're like i'm a little here's the thing did you my mother mushrooms the whole
00:04:02.840 time john darien's ornaments like like ever been in bloomingdale's trimetry i'm sorry okay but
00:04:09.060 that's its own cultural experience will you go to the mall with me okay great so for a couple of
00:04:13.480 things. I have only purchased a couple ornaments from John Deere. Oh, you want to see ornaments?
00:04:19.560 Welcome to my mother. So I call my mother. I go, Christmas is coming. I'm so excited. I'm getting
00:04:23.960 the tree. I want to get the tree right after Thanksgiving. I'm going hard this year. And she
00:04:26.980 said, before you buy ornaments, please come to the house, come to the basement. And I was like,
00:04:31.020 oh, of course. Huge, beautiful ornaments. So I'm going to do that. I'm going to ask my mom
00:04:37.900 to send jewish okay my mom of course to send the her i'm gonna ask her for a steady stream
00:04:46.880 one ornament ornament at a time photos i'm gonna send them to you and i'm gonna i want to see oh
00:04:52.540 i'm gonna send you some i'm gonna discern your your your taste which will evolve but how how
00:04:57.340 by the way never forget i okay made you an ornament i know it's so sweet with our photo
00:05:06.500 booth photos and i have it i have it tucked away it'll go on the it'll go on the tree i actually
00:05:11.400 had to mow it privately just now before we were rolling i was looking at christmas tree toppers
00:05:15.160 because i don't have one right and i have so much to say i have a huge idea about the tree i want to
00:05:19.420 do this year okay it's huge really the tree's not huge but the content is huge it's not huge
00:05:24.480 it's simple ultimately i think you're saying it's huge again i'm sorry but i think it's because 0.58
00:05:28.900 fucking fly here are you afraid of it locking do you have any doubt about your idea is there 0.75
00:05:34.180 Any fear of commitment to the idea? 0.99
00:05:35.520 Yes.
00:05:36.000 There's a fear that I won't be able to execute it properly.
00:05:37.880 Oh, well, that I wouldn't worry about.
00:05:39.820 You can force execute it. 0.51
00:05:40.780 That's the fear.
00:05:41.180 But you don't have any fear of choosing, like, this year it's going to be a white tree and then regret?
00:05:47.040 No, I have it solid in my mind what I want, but here's the thing.
00:05:50.900 I'm like, should I guess?
00:05:51.800 But I just had a private revelation where I was looking at different Christmas tree toppers, the star, and I was screenshotting.
00:05:58.620 And I'm like, okay, have it down to the four that I want.
00:06:00.580 And I was going to outsource.
00:06:01.520 I was going to text my partner.
00:06:03.180 You, what do you think?
00:06:04.100 And I went, Kate, Christmas has a woman.
00:06:06.460 You pick the tree topper privately. 0.99
00:06:08.740 You make the decision you commit.
00:06:10.120 So I decided to do that.
00:06:11.000 I just saw a whole home.
00:06:11.760 So now when you come to my house and you see the tree, know that I picked the topper.
00:06:17.520 See, no, no, no.
00:06:19.600 This cannot be overstated, okay?
00:06:21.860 When you just said the thing about, no, I'm the woman, okay?
00:06:24.220 I'm a woman at Christmas, okay?
00:06:27.580 I choose the topper, right?
00:06:29.060 i'm going i saw a whole house like like a pure it populated behind you like it was like a spell
00:06:37.640 okay and i don't it's not about the house itself or your house like i'm picturing something
00:06:42.100 it's like that feeling of it's a totally different thing it's it's it's i mean it's like the one
00:06:51.580 woman privately making choices for the family in this way it is very and making sort of like
00:06:59.220 elegant choices for the family like my this for my family not checking with everyone just knowing
00:07:04.340 just knowing just trusting just knowing trusting one's own taste and then executing it in the home
00:07:09.720 are you kidding unimaginable no no it's changing by the way i was gonna ask you this like huge
00:07:15.720 question like do you have the courage for example to buy a wired sconce because i can't imagine a
00:07:22.760 wired sconce a sconce lamp right oh that's plugged into the wall that is actually wired in the wall
00:07:28.220 versus you know because now they're hiring electrician well yeah it demands so this but 0.92
00:07:32.400 also to to break into your wall and go this is the sconce bitch yeah and by the way and now you 0.97
00:07:37.340 can't hang a huge you can't well that's yeah now because i've been a huge painting there or whatever 0.89
00:07:41.620 I've been going through this, so if I need to bring this up, because I have sconce.
00:07:45.160 Why I assume you were.
00:07:45.700 Well, because there's two sconce areas.
00:07:47.080 I go, I want sconces.
00:07:48.860 I go, we'll do a plug-in for now.
00:07:50.760 I go, plug-in sconce, what is this?
00:07:52.840 But maybe.
00:07:53.640 Well, I think we've talked about this in the past.
00:07:56.300 And you're a pro.
00:07:56.920 And I think I've—
00:07:58.080 Do you have to rip a wall out?
00:07:59.980 Otherwise.
00:08:00.360 How much work?
00:08:01.140 Take down a— 1.00
00:08:01.680 God damn. 0.99
00:08:02.420 I was thinking about the word Joyce has been appearing a lot. 0.99
00:08:06.380 Huh?
00:08:07.320 Joyce?
00:08:07.960 My accountant?
00:08:08.420 The last few days.
00:08:08.860 i wasn't even including that one okay but i was thinking about it there like someone was talking
00:08:15.960 about walls and building walls and joyce joyce you know the joyce is like a beam or something
00:08:20.300 i don't know this at all spell it j-o-y-c-e yeah yeah there's a proud tradition and they've gotten
00:08:27.540 better at it because they understand most people rent okay it's a whole it's a dawn of a new day
00:08:31.760 yeah people rent okay plug it in and as you know there's the other big principle but yeah plug it
00:08:36.480 in and now they do it you know they're gorgeous a gorgeous i mean some of them are not the
00:08:41.100 aesthetic you're looking for specifically but they're all out there okay and it's and the plug
00:08:45.200 okay it goes it it hangs yeah elegantly i mean it could be hidden behind the actual right but a
00:08:52.900 wire can be beautiful that depends on what kind yeah you know woven wire or not okay there's a
00:09:00.580 kind of effortlessness there's a kind of modern we keep it moving yeah that's yeah that's hung there
00:09:06.200 I was thinking, why don't places have sort of like built into the walls, almost like a place where your sconce goes and you get to choose your sconce without an electrician.
00:09:19.540 Much like there's a plug on a wall.
00:09:21.280 A hundred percent.
00:09:22.180 There was a sconce plug in every rental.
00:09:23.960 Pop it off.
00:09:30.860 In this life, we talk a lot about anti-aging, staying young, right?
00:09:34.480 you heard this obviously anti-aging you can't anti-aging we are aging however you can age in
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00:09:53.940 on a cellular level that's why we're so excited that fatty 15 is sponsoring this episode of the
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00:10:33.960 to fatty15.com slash hags and using code hags at checkout. I've been going to Ikea near daily. Okay,
00:10:46.880 I've been doing this. It wasn't your deal. I guess I've been twice. But every time I thought I was
00:10:51.500 going again the next day, maybe three times I worked in I did work in the parking lot on my
00:10:55.840 computer yeah no i know it's your new office oh yeah so no but the christmas home the light
00:11:00.200 section okay i had a huge i i had a well a couple revelations and i can't you ready yeah and you
00:11:08.020 making notes because i want to get back to the i want to get back to the ornaments will you
00:11:10.680 remember the question yeah because wait all right down because i was going to write down
00:11:14.440 something what was i just starting to talk about oh lights i have a huge and all right give it to
00:11:20.540 me now i'll get the lights you'll relate to this you'll relate to this so i'm having the urge 0.86
00:11:24.620 i'm having this shit i did it again stuff in the house wanting to want to entertain the home 0.99
00:11:29.940 yeah okay it's not ready right well that's not go fuck it just have yeah have people who cares 0.99
00:11:34.840 and this is a constant issue right temporary the temporary solution versus the more expensive 0.94
00:11:41.960 more expensive thing and then also it's the now versus then where i'm like just now i was thinking 0.74
00:11:45.900 okay do i just go fuck it what can i accomplish okay like for example yeah we're being out of 0.98
00:11:51.860 sink okay don't you have like a goddamn farmhouse sink i'm talking about a bathroom oh okay let me 1.00
00:12:03.000 guess what the guest bathroom the powder room the powder you're trying to show off for the party 0.99
00:12:08.200 goers you think the sink is not sufficient why this thing's fine but no but i go i go i don't
00:12:14.580 like the sink i go could i so i get demolition right yeah home improvement shows i go i just
00:12:20.740 say, well, it's just that things are expensive.
00:12:22.560 I mean, if you took a hammer. I can't
00:12:24.620 take the hammer. But I'm just saying, what if
00:12:26.600 I went, guess what? New sink,
00:12:28.620 boom, in two weeks. Could I make
00:12:30.580 it happen? Of course. Fuck the sink. I actually want,
00:12:32.760 let's cut that. Fuck the sink. The story 1.00
00:12:34.780 of the sink you want cut? Yeah, all of it. Why? I don't
00:12:36.620 know. You're embarrassed.
00:12:38.320 I shamed you. You love to be
00:12:40.720 shamed by me. It's true, but listen,
00:12:42.620 but no, but, oh, huge question,
00:12:44.500 huge question, huge question. Shoes off home
00:12:46.460 versus shoes on home, right? If you're entertaining
00:12:48.740 at a party, obviously shoes are on. 0.99
00:12:50.740 Are we fucking crazy? 0.99
00:12:51.980 Okay. 1.00
00:12:52.260 Shoes are on.
00:12:52.980 If you're entertaining.
00:12:53.800 Yeah.
00:12:54.120 Yeah.
00:12:54.520 Completely for a party.
00:12:55.280 Okay.
00:12:55.400 So shoes will be on.
00:12:56.920 Rug.
00:12:57.420 I've been wanting to get a new rug.
00:12:59.040 This is a huge crisis right now.
00:13:00.720 New rug, living room rug.
00:13:02.280 You don't get a new rug for a shoe party, but then the room's not tied together.
00:13:07.700 Do you get the rug to tie together the room?
00:13:10.700 Okay.
00:13:11.260 I have a couple of huge questions.
00:13:13.060 Or do you, you, that's the rug for the shoes.
00:13:15.600 And after people are there, do you know what I mean?
00:13:19.160 So what do I do?
00:13:19.640 Hold on.
00:13:19.880 What do I do?
00:13:20.120 help me this is huge all right you know this is huge all right hold on i have a couple ideas it's
00:13:23.260 all about now versus then it's all about you know what i mean i know well also yeah the fantasy the
00:13:27.180 win but hold on and then i'm at the party staring at the rug the whole time oh god don't want classic
00:13:31.160 yeah yeah and everyone will feel that no one's ever spilled they'll feel it and also what are we
00:13:37.100 what are we spilling right now cocktails what are we spilling yeah i don't know food
00:13:40.060 shoe detritus what can't be clean well people are gonna trample there we go ever heard of cleaning
00:13:44.460 okay oh my god wait no no i always forget the cleaning i always forget yeah i know just that
00:13:50.260 that's an option yeah the stain because like we're like is it a white rug no well that's the
00:13:53.840 other thing is it a white rug in a movie where the plot is that it's a 90 million dollar rug
00:13:58.260 right no this is this is helping me because it's also and you know it's about me it's a thing of
00:14:02.300 saving things like like i'm like no no i'm gonna get the rug after so it's pristine and soft and 0.55
00:14:06.940 perfect that's no fucking cares by the way what happens next christmas exactly okay you can't 0.90
00:14:11.700 live on the rug that you live on your rug see i always reject don't save clothes don't save rugs 0.91
00:14:18.820 yeah even the even the i'll start the workout after this thing finishes i know it's always
00:14:22.960 gonna be something well that's what you did to me just the other week i go next week i'm
00:14:25.780 next week i'm really excited to talk about rugs i'm not done okay great well the rugs are because
00:14:29.900 we're just getting to it i have another rug issue yes okay big area rug okay here's this nordic
00:14:36.800 knots right nice company whatever or he'll look here's a company that's like a rip-off half off
00:14:42.080 do you go for the half off or do you go for the because here's what i go let's go with the cheaper
00:14:48.520 one right and then always of course if i hate it switch over to the fancy one so i've lost money
00:14:53.460 see i'm saying no just spend the full classic and so that's also temporary versus what are you
00:14:57.640 gonna well okay if it arrives and it looks cheap which also first of all who cares but let's just
00:15:04.120 say yeah right i mean not that i would have the courage you know not that i would have the
00:15:08.460 you know stamina to do this but you could send it back you'll know that instantly
00:15:13.640 i get roll it up also google to see if someone has bought that rug and takes like you're not
00:15:20.180 on amazon here right or oh no or are you what where's the half off point is there's some other
00:15:24.780 company i'm forgetting rugs are google around to see i bought the blah blah blah blah and it's
00:15:30.000 Just as good as that.
00:15:31.200 But I mean to see a photo.
00:15:33.000 Okay.
00:15:33.440 No, no.
00:15:34.240 See, this comes on an essential thing.
00:15:35.340 A person's photo in their apartment.
00:15:37.480 That tells you so much.
00:15:39.360 Wait, hold on.
00:15:39.800 Decision paralysis.
00:15:40.480 Wait, I still haven't really.
00:15:41.740 I mean, I know I've freed you, but I still haven't given you.
00:15:43.540 What?
00:15:44.060 Okay, my breakdown of the concept for the party.
00:15:47.020 I'm getting the new rug.
00:15:48.140 So that's official.
00:15:48.340 And you're getting the nice one.
00:15:49.180 You're done.
00:15:49.660 No, I don't know about that.
00:15:50.660 No, no, no.
00:15:51.160 Because I'm also going, I go solid color.
00:15:52.920 I go print. 1.00
00:15:53.740 I'm not going Persian.
00:15:54.840 Here's the announcement.
00:15:55.640 I'm not going Persian.
00:15:56.800 I'm going solid color.
00:15:58.820 i'm leaning into something more i think i'm gonna go solid modern or i'm gonna go yeah
00:16:03.520 because you've you've you've locked in uncertainty nine times in the last minute
00:16:07.880 you've posed a series of questions oh you're sick you're saying brown what rug
00:16:12.900 hold on okay yeah you've locked in on nine certainties you've locked in on nine certainties
00:16:19.820 in the last three minutes you've posed questions to me answer them yourself okay and then and then
00:16:25.380 locked in on six answers you were then i still need you holding my hand the whole time you're
00:16:29.440 riding high on decisiveness yeah yeah yeah okay it's a drug and i'm left and i'm left in the dust
00:16:35.420 because you know i'm trying to i'm philosophizing about all the things now i want to talk about
00:16:40.440 these things you pose them to me okay let's go okay but you're done no i'm not done because you
00:16:43.420 got your so i'm going a couple ideas one okay well first i have i have a question the sink okay okay
00:16:50.420 i guessed about okay i guessed powder room sink okay because you're thinking about you know
00:16:57.480 entertaining guests you're worried about guests right i guess over for dinner that's the one
00:17:02.140 they're using there's a little half bath it's very tiny right it's a little tiny half bath
00:17:05.280 it's basically just sink in a toilet powder room yeah sink in a toilet a powder room the current
00:17:09.000 sink is very big and it's not okay but i'm like how i think it's big that's that's like it's a
00:17:18.140 huge unit with a drawer they're like i would prefer something sleeker like a like a more you
00:17:23.400 know like a vintage pedestal well i got news for you your guests might appreciate the drawer 0.70
00:17:31.800 no no the drawer is storage what are the guests gonna do in the drawer tampons other shit like 1.00
00:17:38.940 that okay people are in the bathroom they're fucking losing their mind how about a goddamn 0.99
00:17:43.020 plunger okay how about a i was plunging a toilet in my dream last night and it wasn't my toilet to 0.99
00:17:48.720 plunge oh my god i think i just learned about this thing this term because it wasn't my toilet
00:17:56.860 to plunge doesn't is different than it wasn't my toilet right or i was at someone's house or
00:18:01.520 something right i was plunging a toilet it wasn't my toilet to plunge it's obviously and it's this
00:18:06.260 thing i just read about it's really amazing that was last night where like if you say poog is dead
00:18:11.680 long live poog. Okay. That's a, and I forget what the term term is. It's like a
00:18:19.240 linguistic literary thing. There's a term for it when like the word comes at the end. It's at the
00:18:26.000 beginning. It's like the poetry of that. Yeah. It's like animonides. You know what I mean? It's
00:18:31.220 like, but that had that quality, but I was plunging a toilet. It wasn't my toilet to plunge.
00:18:39.500 oh i think it is that thing right this is what the poetry group but obviously i mean you see
00:18:43.020 what's what you've just articulated right like like you've articulated you've articulated an
00:18:48.940 emotional truth okay it wasn't my toilet to plunge it's not the same as i was at someone's house and
00:18:53.720 i had to get that thing yeah yeah it's really interesting
00:18:58.560 now was it someone specific or was it just abstractly not my toilet just abstractly i'm 0.99
00:19:06.620 going in there i'm plunging i go why am i plunging this this isn't my shit this is my toilet it's 0.99
00:19:12.360 interesting and i'm experiencing shame because i go oh they think that i'm plunging this toilet 0.99
00:19:16.580 because i fucking backed up this toilet i didn't and i'm plunging it by the way really for a toilet 0.77
00:19:21.680 to back up literally the tech is not there if that's happening it's crazy if this thing 0.98
00:19:28.420 the entire job as a thing is to get shit out of the house i know and the fact that it anything
00:19:36.840 that it can ever clog because someone really went for it shouldn't you be free i mean it's like 0.91
00:19:43.380 the plunge toilet two things also by the way plunger into a backed up toilet by which let's 0.98
00:19:49.480 get real toilet full of shit floating right my mom has a snake she can snake a toilet she goes 0.99
00:19:55.060 but isn't it going isn't it going into shit water yeah of course so like what what's the 0.99
00:20:01.740 what's the cleaning process immediately after i know is it this look lip lip of the thing it's 0.90
00:20:07.960 hanging in the toilet shake it off i know it's in there like that right it's it's it's between the
00:20:14.020 bowl and the lid okay with it hanging dripping right yeah now is it bleach bleach is a bleach i
00:20:20.600 know into i know pour bleach into the toilet by the way can can it go down there please yeah
00:20:25.200 all right i mean obviously some can wait i have a personality area right two ideas okay one punch
00:20:31.200 party rug for lunch toilet really party rug party rug you encourage spilling wait i have a no wait
00:20:36.000 i'm not even joking i have a toilet bring in a half price nordic
00:20:39.620 jacqueline yeah i have a i think you'll find this this is a plunger story i think it's a
00:20:45.920 personality distinction it's also between myself and my partner listen to this okay here we go
00:20:50.200 imagine this new york city starvation wait actually waiting to eat via carota there's a
00:20:55.640 two boots starvation like you wouldn't believe they go it's gonna be an hour oh no it was for
00:21:00.880 esoti i was waiting for esoti showed up the point is i want to cry so hungry wait an hour i can't i
00:21:07.760 can't wait an hour we decide let's go to two boots get a slice as an appetizer okay at two boots this
00:21:13.840 is unnecessary information the point is sitting down you have to walk there in your mind because
00:21:17.540 i obviously do everyone who listens to me talk knows that i have to journey in my mind you walked
00:21:22.120 from me so it needs to two boots in your mind i don't mean i took the whole path i mean you're
00:21:25.900 like this isn't relevant to the story oh yeah to follow your way there anyway go on i get up to pee
00:21:32.480 come back they get up to pee come back they're kind can i have hand sanitizer sure what happened 1.00
00:21:40.400 so you no no there was someone in between us so naomi name reveal stunning by the way oh my god 0.99
00:21:50.180 yeah waiting in line woman comes out of the bathroom they go in toilet not shit but piss 1.00
00:21:59.120 is rising at a rapid rate toilet water is rising they grab the plunger at this pizza restaurant 1.00
00:22:05.800 I start plunging.
00:22:07.940 American heroism.
00:22:08.340 They fix it, it goes down, they pee, they come out, I had to plunge the toilet.
00:22:12.240 And I start going, I go, no, no, no, no, no.
00:22:14.180 And I go, you do not need, like, here's what I would have done.
00:22:17.820 Talk about not your toilet to plunge.
00:22:19.880 I walk in, I see.
00:22:21.300 Right, you run out and you run to the hostess stand.
00:22:23.400 No, no, no, I walk in, I see, right, I go, oh, you guys, you guys, I go, sorry, not my problem. 0.99
00:22:27.880 I'm not plunging the fucking toilet at the pizza restaurant. 0.97
00:22:30.760 Oh, wait, first of all, I somehow forgot I made this all happening at eSody, okay? 0.98
00:22:34.820 i don't know it's a two boots any boots this is two boots like this is it's even oh if it were
00:22:39.180 yeah two boots is like almost like i'm picturing a different yeah okay
00:22:45.400 by the way like like head out the back winking at the yeah winking at the provider
00:22:56.660 okay so wait wait do you know there's a thing by the way about like
00:23:01.780 everyone's using the plunger wrong or whatever.
00:23:04.400 Oh, yeah, there he's going.
00:23:05.020 It's supposed to be like you're resuscitating someone's chest.
00:23:08.720 Yeah.
00:23:09.560 Cool.
00:23:10.680 Cool.
00:23:10.940 What about CPR?
00:23:12.540 Hey, Bill, can you take over?
00:23:14.200 The whole taking over of CPR?
00:23:16.760 Yeah, because you've got to really go for it.
00:23:18.420 What?
00:23:18.620 Someone told me.
00:23:19.120 You didn't know it breaks the ribs?
00:23:20.720 And you didn't know?
00:23:21.340 Someone told me you've got to break the ribs or else you're not doing it right.
00:23:23.480 I go, Jesus.
00:23:23.900 Well, that is one of those.
00:23:24.980 That's the power of a phrase, or you're not doing it right.
00:23:27.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:23:28.000 It's like, give me anything up until it.
00:23:30.680 wait so but don't you find that interesting right but because they come out and I almost
00:23:34.940 I was of course not mad at them but I was almost like I was like you did not have to do that why
00:23:38.920 well it wasn't because um you weren't happy about like the cleanliness no no I just was like it made
00:23:44.260 me sad to think of them plunging until they didn't have to plunge yeah instead of and I was also
00:23:50.160 overwhelmed I was like wow you know what would you do I'm running out it depends if it's falling
00:23:55.740 on my like if it's coming from my feet it was that far away oh it's rising it's an emergency
00:24:01.300 no it is immediately door closed no uh we got problem both yeah yeah exactly so they i mean
00:24:11.740 it's just and i'm like because for a thousand reasons i just that's i find that that's a
00:24:17.500 shocking i mean i would be concerned like for the future like i would be like we need to sit down
00:24:22.260 talk like if we're on a boat and shit's going down okay save me save me save like totally you
00:24:29.240 know yeah if we're on the titanic yeah we go yeah remember i told you about telling uh uh chris like
00:24:38.480 when we were like scared in movie theaters like i get freaked out when someone comes in the
00:24:43.160 backpack oh of course whatever and i was just like i'll sit here and enjoy this movie whatever
00:24:47.920 as long as I know that if I say go, you go.
00:24:52.880 So it became, when I say go, you go.
00:24:55.580 There's going to be no question.
00:24:57.000 Have you ever said go?
00:24:57.440 No, but I have started with, like, with other things.
00:25:00.760 I fixated.
00:25:02.160 On what, a backpack?
00:25:02.880 On a person at the, yeah, or, like, interesting, he came in late.
00:25:06.520 And I go, are they really going to shoot up the 8 p.m.?
00:25:09.980 Well, right, looking for meaning, like.
00:25:12.340 Because, like, we were at Twisters.
00:25:13.380 I was like, what are they going to do, shoot up it?
00:25:14.700 Look at how small this theater is.
00:25:15.800 You mean it was with me?
00:25:16.640 Yeah.
00:25:17.540 And you never said anything?
00:25:18.180 Every time I go into a movie theater, I think about it.
00:25:19.680 I'm really, I'm really, I feel like I'm really leaning into blinking this one.
00:25:23.180 I can't blink the one.
00:25:23.860 Got to even it up.
00:25:24.860 What?
00:25:26.080 Wait.
00:25:27.220 One is easier for you.
00:25:28.340 So much to talk about.
00:25:29.100 Okay, wait.
00:25:29.360 Which one's easier?
00:25:30.580 Right.
00:25:30.980 I never go left.
00:25:31.980 Really quick about the dream.
00:25:33.360 I just want to say.
00:25:34.280 Oh, yeah.
00:25:34.600 Because the plunging of the toilet, not my toilet to plunge, as we know from Jung, symbolism,
00:25:40.980 images, dreams.
00:25:42.260 This is where we're headed.
00:25:42.400 Because I have a lot of repeated things in my dreams, right?
00:25:45.060 Oh, well, my Christmas dreams.
00:25:46.020 I can seriously, but not literally, right?
00:25:50.040 It's like if a certain person's repeating in your dream, it's like, okay, I take that
00:25:54.600 seriously, but not literally, of course.
00:25:57.100 What are you writing down?
00:25:58.220 I see Christmas.
00:25:59.640 Christmas.
00:26:00.540 So, you know, my recurring dream throughout the year.
00:26:03.460 My recurring dream.
00:26:04.260 Look, I will give you peace.
00:26:05.540 Look.
00:26:07.040 What's right there?
00:26:07.680 Oh, my God.
00:26:07.900 It's happening again.
00:26:08.780 Someone's going off my thumb.
00:26:10.340 Oh, no.
00:26:10.920 Oh, it's trembling? 1.00
00:26:11.840 Fuck. 1.00
00:26:12.600 Okay. 1.00
00:26:12.840 Today, I was going like this, trying to text.
00:26:14.500 And I go, why does it feel a little...
00:26:16.500 And, of course, I go immediately, 0.99
00:26:17.620 oh, it's the beginning of a horrific fucking degenerative disease 1.00
00:26:20.180 and here I fucking go. 1.00
00:26:21.900 I know. 0.99
00:26:22.640 I've been dealing with that.
00:26:23.900 But then I go, couldn't it just be...
00:26:25.580 Yes.
00:26:26.600 ...texting and also I was lifting a heavy table last night?
00:26:28.840 Wait, I thought I came up with a theory about something.
00:26:32.260 I'm just remembering.
00:26:33.820 That was, by the way, that was so amazing.
00:26:35.040 That was you being real.
00:26:36.180 That's something if it were in a script,
00:26:37.320 if you had to act that, it would be impossible to act it well.
00:26:39.260 Yes?
00:26:39.640 And you just...
00:26:40.040 No, no.
00:26:40.500 I was thinking about that.
00:26:41.920 Or what did you say?
00:26:42.560 Oh, no, yeah.
00:26:42.940 I thought I had a theory.
00:26:43.560 That was like...
00:26:44.500 in a movie but it was real okay this is one of my we're gonna talk about this for nine hours okay 0.99
00:26:49.800 well on tv shows when people are actually upset and you know fuck put a camera on them the camera 0.61
00:26:53.800 is on them yeah god this is good acting but it's real is that what we're talking about well sort of
00:26:57.960 okay so so i just did uh i forgot what i said already but you said you said you said i had a
00:27:03.880 theory about this i think i had a theory about this right okay really hard when you yeah when
00:27:09.560 you accidentally when you authentically say something in the like most as written kind of
00:27:17.120 like cliche performance of it authentically and it comes out like that yeah versus nudge nudge
00:27:23.400 wink wink i had a theory about this or whatever right okay so like like like one of the hardest
00:27:29.420 things like surprise surprise no no no that i can do oh surprise getting blah blah blah
00:27:39.560 no okay sorry let her talk Kate okay well I don't mind I don't mind that but what um
00:27:45.580 acting surprised oh yeah because exactly okay because yeah to do it in a like drama
00:27:55.640 did because I feel like like have you had to scream with surprise okay because it's I've I've
00:28:03.540 I've I've struggled I had to fake a surprise reaction to a pregnancy
00:28:07.900 see in life i think it's easy oh you're talking about acting yes oh i'm talking about like like
00:28:16.140 showbiz i'm talking about okay they're gonna come in act there were a couple things
00:28:21.820 surprise excitement and surprise scared surprise any of them like look like well like shot that's
00:28:28.020 really hard physical surprise okay as in they're behind you oh that that's really hard okay that's
00:28:32.860 what i'm talking about okay like okay now now but my point being that was pretty good thank you
00:28:38.740 my point being that real surprise is pretty cliche looking isn't that beautiful and let's
00:28:45.420 okay so so so you go the cliches are okay i mean now i tried to do a cliche one to to whatever
00:28:51.820 yeah but like like like yeah so you know that's comforting but i i'm always thinking and this was
00:29:02.140 a huge problem for me when i was at acting camp at seven was fear of overacting the fear of
00:29:07.420 overacting fear of overacting i mean this is my okay yeah it's and and also how dare you it's
00:29:12.680 not overacting it's real it's more real well also how dare you ever heard of artifice i mean
00:29:17.480 literally you you and me arguing for artifice is i like that actually imagine that on a tote bag
00:29:29.720 arguing for artifice that's nice or i heart i heart artifice
00:29:35.280 no i'm laughing because i i thought you were saying i heart radio okay oh yeah
00:29:42.060 um wait wait take me back take me back take me back wait because rugs no
00:29:48.100 you're still in rugs because you want that right you know what you're doing what you know how you
00:29:56.160 rock climb i know you do i think i don't rock climb what do you mean you have no rock climbing
00:30:03.700 experience not even a wall wouldn't go that far not even on a wall i actually did rock climbing
00:30:08.800 for a yahoo ad like wait 10 years ago by the way this has been happening again and i love it what
00:30:15.360 oh this yeah yeah yeah does this does this do anything for you i mean does this trigger anything
00:30:21.480 like for you it looks like you to me wait kind of this looks like you to me yeah yeah
00:30:25.840 okay wait wait hold on you so in rock climbing let's say you're going up the face of a mountain
00:30:32.760 and i don't know much okay but okay you go with a thing that happens spontaneously like ice pick
00:30:40.520 or something yeah okay but you're going up a rock now you're you're you have your harness let's say
00:30:45.520 okay you're not free solo okay you go up you get to a point where you clip in to a little thing
00:30:54.060 coming out of the oh yeah yeah crag yeah okay yeah okay i'm not sure exactly but the point is
00:30:59.960 and then and then you go up more and actually i think if you were like really doing it out
00:31:04.260 in the world i think you are you are sticking something in a rock okay and then essentially
00:31:10.880 clipping rolling your thing through it and then you climb up another 20 feet now and you lock in
00:31:18.100 again there so that every time okay okay we're not there yet okay so every time you're you lock
00:31:27.000 in the new height so that if you fall you only fall like a little bit right okay so you got to
00:31:31.480 go a little bit and then right instead of climbing all the way up and falling all the way yeah you
00:31:38.000 okay in our conversation fixate it no it's not that big okay fixate it on rugs is where you locked
00:31:45.940 in last so every time we go okay bring me back bring me back you keep falling down to the rugs
00:31:51.340 okay but i've got this there are new places man's discovery of of soot on a rock
00:32:00.020 changes everything wait what i have notation oh i know anyway so i'm going but the point is i made
00:32:07.520 a huge deal look look a rug i drew a rug and a couch yes we're not we're not gonna so that's
00:32:12.600 one of the safest things yeah it's safe so my ongoing christmas dream and i i i think it happens
00:32:18.040 throughout the year i need to start just marking it maybe in my hobonichi i'm gonna get a new one
00:32:23.640 by the way news from last year i i filled out about four pages of my hobonichi journal this
00:32:27.860 year four okay and i bought two because i was concerned that's what happened to me i got so
00:32:31.260 excited i bought a new calendar thing starts in december so all my memories of the last few weeks
00:32:36.920 have just gone well i guess they weren't that great i convinced myself they weren't worth
00:32:40.060 writing down because I because the notebook doesn't start till December oh I go I'll remember
00:32:49.120 it I go I'll remember it you could you could fold it in there I've thought about going into
00:32:55.100 paper and then folding it in yeah okay
00:32:57.000 hope you're enjoying the show and if you are and even if you are and i'd argue once you consider
00:33:11.620 doing a premium subscription you're going to get bonus episodes an ad-free experience and
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00:33:23.280 that it brings. There's the dear friend level. There is the out-of-pocket level. There's even
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00:33:31.420 out the link in description, the link in bio, or even just looking at berlantnovac.supercast.com.
00:33:45.180 So my recurring dream, Christmas morning, and I've forgotten to get gifts for
00:33:52.960 either all or some of the family members okay that's it you get that a lot all the time so
00:33:59.780 much so that it's like year round it oh it's literally a year round and and because it's so
00:34:07.740 recurring there are these stores that exist in my dream world okay that i go to in this situation
00:34:12.800 regularly and you go back to the same store yes okay so there's this town of stores i have an
00:34:17.920 apartment that i return to three times now and in the gym i go oh my god i'm back in the
00:34:22.880 apartment. It's fucking amazing. Oh, right. 0.96
00:34:24.640 I have a dream. Yeah, I have something
00:34:26.580 like that in the west side of New York City, okay?
00:34:28.940 I believe there is another world.
00:34:30.880 Well, yes. Oh, yeah.
00:34:32.500 I mean, there are a few. Yeah, there's
00:34:34.560 a few. No, but I always forget.
00:34:36.500 Oh, and then my other recurring one is like, I still have
00:34:38.580 a grave. I tripped on a grave.
00:34:41.960 Where?
00:34:45.760 Is it that knee or
00:34:46.600 this knee? This knee.
00:34:48.600 Just barely.
00:34:50.540 See that little red spot?
00:34:52.880 i'm laughing at i'm pulling up your pant for that if they could see how small that mark was
00:35:02.240 it's very small but imagine that not cursed yeah of course and i said no assumption i said i'm
00:35:07.500 sorry was there something disrespectful about your tripping no because it was because i go
00:35:11.420 i can't be cursed and they because it was truly genuine it wasn't like i was doing you know i
00:35:16.000 mean i actually tripped on a grave right you weren't doing a no no i was i was shocked yeah
00:35:20.780 Now, when you say you tripped on a grave.
00:35:22.720 Headstone.
00:35:23.280 An unmarked grave.
00:35:24.300 Headstone.
00:35:25.000 A free standing one?
00:35:26.260 A 19-year-old soldier who died in World War II.
00:35:28.160 Oh, wait.
00:35:28.460 Were you in New York City?
00:35:29.500 No, this was in Pasadena last night.
00:35:32.340 Isn't that crazy?
00:35:32.960 In someone's property?
00:35:34.060 I mean, you don't have to give the details.
00:35:34.840 No, a cemetery.
00:35:35.060 A cemetery.
00:35:35.660 Why were you in a cemetery?
00:35:36.740 Shooting in a cemetery.
00:35:37.820 Oh, there we go.
00:35:38.740 Got it.
00:35:39.260 Love that.
00:35:39.760 Dark, dark.
00:35:40.580 That's your curse is the filming, if anything.
00:35:43.800 I mean, I'm just saying.
00:35:45.140 But the point is, they're going straight to the top with that, not you.
00:35:48.000 No, exactly.
00:35:48.620 Well, this, no, the cemetery, I go,
00:35:50.180 God, they're really just letting anyone in here, huh?
00:35:52.660 Filming away.
00:35:53.920 When there's other places that you go,
00:35:55.960 like, that they don't let you film in.
00:35:59.180 It's interesting.
00:36:01.280 Because.
00:36:02.640 We're still burying the day.
00:36:03.760 Imagine you're, like, when you are signing up,
00:36:06.480 when you're getting your plot, fine print,
00:36:08.820 we do filmings here.
00:36:10.780 Yeah.
00:36:11.500 Not saying that's necessarily a problem.
00:36:13.280 I might like it.
00:36:13.760 Your brain may or may not be tripped on.
00:36:14.680 I might like a little business happening above.
00:36:17.380 Yeah, totally.
00:36:18.040 Yeah, a little action.
00:36:19.520 It is kind of, I mean, I've always felt, yeah,
00:36:21.740 they should be integrated.
00:36:23.780 What?
00:36:24.980 The dead.
00:36:26.060 I get the dead, the dead bodies and the corpses.
00:36:27.960 You're in the subway, okay?
00:36:28.900 And you're just walking along a wall.
00:36:30.000 Oh, there's someone somewhere there.
00:36:31.300 Oh, that's lovely.
00:36:31.960 Everywhere.
00:36:32.160 That would be great.
00:36:32.920 That would be great.
00:36:33.220 We walk among the dead.
00:36:34.260 We jog through the cemetery.
00:36:38.360 The whole world's a graveyard, to quote someone.
00:36:40.300 Yeah.
00:36:40.900 I would cut you off with the trip on a grave thing, naturally.
00:36:44.180 Oh, then my...
00:36:44.800 I said there's another world, and that's what made me think of it, yeah.
00:36:47.800 Yeah, it's weird out there.
00:36:49.120 It's a lot here.
00:36:49.700 I wrote the real.
00:36:50.360 Oh, wait, but acting, but acting surprise.
00:36:52.320 I haven't even gotten into my little baby notebook.
00:36:54.340 Really?
00:36:55.100 I have a new shoe.
00:36:55.600 Wait, let me just cover what we discussed.
00:36:56.860 Okay.
00:36:57.340 Okay.
00:36:58.100 Like, okay.
00:36:59.420 We've just, I wrote down yearning for coffee.
00:37:01.300 That just happens to be true.
00:37:02.580 Let's do a little review.
00:37:03.880 Okay.
00:37:04.400 I actually think there's more here to all of this.
00:37:07.560 Okay.
00:37:08.940 Becoming a woman.
00:37:10.240 I have a lot to say on this. 1.00
00:37:11.860 Because I saw a woman in a skirt and my life changed. 1.00
00:37:13.960 Okay. 1.00
00:37:15.180 A long skirt.
00:37:16.200 not I bought a long skirt a few weeks ago and it's changed my life by the way if you saw my
00:37:21.300 high school fashion oh yeah because it was pre-depression no I'm sure it's now it's a
00:37:25.640 different person I know you were the hottest girl in school somebody who who I met someone
00:37:30.180 who knew Jacqueline no said you were the hottest girl in school no no no yeah I'm I'm I don't know
00:37:43.240 I'm gonna fact check that later on you
00:37:45.880 okay who said it why they thought that 0.83
00:37:47.640 I just bought a long denim skirt
00:37:50.020 yeah a long skirt and then I have like
00:37:52.020 yeah okay and then I have like these boots
00:37:53.960 popping out the whole thing
00:37:54.860 that's my new outfit
00:37:57.180 it's my new fall outfit
00:37:59.020 we're gonna be two women
00:38:01.760 yeah great that's huge okay we're gonna return
00:38:03.920 to becoming a woman okay
00:38:04.960 I just want to tell you everything shave okay
00:38:07.600 the mustache yeah it's gone is there more to say about that
00:38:09.980 I don't think so
00:38:10.980 I don't think so
00:38:13.560 Hey, I'll pop in with this.
00:38:15.340 Wait, I'm trying to do a recap.
00:38:16.520 Okay, sorry.
00:38:17.020 Go ahead.
00:38:17.420 Is this for the episode or just for us?
00:38:19.460 Both, maybe.
00:38:20.200 It could be huge.
00:38:21.060 All right, hold on.
00:38:21.560 Sephora, I haven't told you about it yet.
00:38:23.240 Oh, my God, great.
00:38:23.440 Okay, so that's going on the thing.
00:38:24.540 Okay.
00:38:25.040 Okay, that says Christmas topper.
00:38:26.920 We're good. 0.97
00:38:27.200 I haven't said shit about it. 0.89
00:38:29.180 You're good. 0.97
00:38:31.220 Okay, because you locked in.
00:38:32.760 Okay, you fixated.
00:38:33.800 I'll go to Christmas topper.
00:38:34.780 Okay, Christmas topper.
00:38:35.300 Okay, I'm going to hit Tartt.
00:38:36.580 That's good.
00:38:37.460 Okay.
00:38:38.740 I guess I'll tell you, you're not going to be interested.
00:38:40.360 but i'll tell you about okay i'm gonna tell you about um this like ikea pegboard i'm fixated on
00:38:46.140 okay pegboard you oh the thing you're picturing you were picturing uh i don't know what i was
00:38:52.600 picturing you lay down you on your stomach you know this feeling i just got excited because i
00:38:56.920 got a pang of hunger which means like the dinner can't be that far can be or like they did and
00:39:01.140 that like or that i will be hungry it'll be so exciting yeah totally wait wait i've written down
00:39:07.060 i've written down party goers oh i once i still haven't covered what i wanted to say about your
00:39:10.920 sink i still haven't covered lights at ikea okay and then i'm curious about nordic knots and i want
00:39:21.680 to know how you got tipped off to this someone text me well because by the way someone a friend
00:39:26.600 i was like didn't you say you got a great rug she goes yeah this rug and she goes it's like a rip
00:39:31.540 off it's like a knockoff of nordic knots okay see isn't that amazing and then you and then that's
00:39:37.000 you go exactly what's nordic knots okay by the way nordic knots yeah i'm listening just send
00:39:41.600 some rugs plural you want to play one for party one for life okay oh my god so oh by the way i
00:39:48.960 don't actually by the way that's an incredible idea but no no i mean i don't know it would be
00:39:52.440 it would be uh i'm saying it would be a cheap a cheaper rug that is designed for entertaining
00:39:59.200 like like you literally bring it out it's like because hey when i have a few friends over okay
00:40:04.560 ADD, flexible seating, people like to sit on the floor,
00:40:06.740 like to move from the floor to the couch and whatever.
00:40:08.720 I'm like, I can barely sit on a couch
00:40:10.600 because I constantly think I'm about to get my period
00:40:12.460 through my pants onto anyone's couch.
00:40:14.800 I just prefer to be like on my own legs.
00:40:17.200 There's many reasons I like to sit on the floor. 1.00
00:40:18.560 Is this only in a Christian home? 1.00
00:40:20.040 Yeah. 0.98
00:40:22.340 Dining room tables where the chairs are fabric.
00:40:27.820 No, because I think some people had it.
00:40:29.660 No, because people had it in the 80s, in the 70s.
00:40:32.420 When I sit on it, I go.
00:40:32.880 New York, 70s.
00:40:34.480 I mean, I, by the way.
00:40:35.820 We didn't have that.
00:40:36.320 No.
00:40:36.760 But you see what I'm saying?
00:40:37.540 I'm just remembering now that I had an ex-boyfriend. 0.83
00:40:40.800 No, I've seen Orthodoxy Jason. 0.85
00:40:43.500 And it was that night.
00:40:44.380 Yeah, I remember now Pesach freaking out, thinking I'm bleeding all over the chair.
00:40:47.780 And I wasn't.
00:40:49.080 Ugh.
00:40:50.120 Yeah, that's.
00:40:51.100 Throwing Pesach out?
00:40:53.120 Notice I didn't even blink.
00:40:54.820 Okay.
00:40:56.140 Wait, hold on.
00:40:56.720 But discovering the expensive thing through the knockoff,
00:41:02.300 It's like how I learned about furniture via Craigslist.
00:41:05.980 Yeah.
00:41:06.680 They're like Eames style.
00:41:09.800 Yeah, exactly.
00:41:11.100 They're like, yeah, Eames style.
00:41:12.800 And then you're like, tell me more about Eames.
00:41:14.640 And then you got on a path.
00:41:15.960 I'm trying to rejoin Facebook Marketplace.
00:41:18.180 I deactivated, or not deleted, but I deactivated Facebook years ago.
00:41:20.760 I'm locked out in a way that no one can ever imagine.
00:41:22.900 No, no, no.
00:41:23.420 Locked out beyond.
00:41:23.920 Getting back in.
00:41:24.920 They go, and then Facebook.
00:41:26.040 This is Facebook, right? 1.00
00:41:27.240 Meta, whatever the fuck. 0.99
00:41:28.360 I go, you know, send me the code to my phone. 0.99
00:41:31.040 Not there.
00:41:31.380 they go yeah find my identity the other way sorry this isn't working yeah well you mean it's not
00:41:34.920 working aren't you the most powerful thing in the world yeah you can't figure it out the website
00:41:38.400 and then also yelp i had a yelp breakdown where where with passwords no no no no worse worse i
00:41:46.580 go i need to tell yelp this so i'm telling yelp this looking up a hotel and you know sometimes
00:41:51.940 hysterical you want to read the yelp go to yelp and then read it or do you just google hotel
00:41:55.560 No, I was Googling the thing.
00:41:56.440 I saw some Yelp.
00:41:56.980 Okay, because I was like, she's opening apps first.
00:41:59.280 I see the Yelp reviews.
00:42:00.980 I click, so I want to see photos.
00:42:02.000 It goes, redirects me to the app store.
00:42:04.340 I go, well, and it says open, because I already have Yelp downloaded.
00:42:07.160 Open it.
00:42:08.160 Open, not there.
00:42:09.660 Okay.
00:42:09.980 Not there.
00:42:11.060 Wait, I've had that a few times, too. 1.00
00:42:12.980 Yelp has a huge fucking issue. 1.00
00:42:14.580 Yelp has a huge issue. 0.99
00:42:15.620 Now, when you say open it, not there, what do you mean?
00:42:17.840 I go, and then I'm just weirdly somewhere else in Yelp,
00:42:20.860 in a different street on Yelp.
00:42:23.080 Like, different.
00:42:23.700 You mean that, oh, okay, okay.
00:42:25.260 I know what you're saying.
00:42:27.180 It won't open to the business side that I was told.
00:42:29.480 It won't directly send you there.
00:42:31.560 And then even worse, I Googled for it.
00:42:35.300 No, no.
00:42:35.680 So then I'm on Yelp.
00:42:37.060 I enter in the hotel.
00:42:38.240 We lost each other.
00:42:40.660 I enter in the hotel name.
00:42:42.660 Nothing.
00:42:43.340 I go, what do you mean nothing?
00:42:45.700 I'm seeing the Yelp reviews online.
00:42:49.700 Nowhere to be found.
00:42:51.760 Why do you want it via Yelp?
00:42:53.580 I just do.
00:42:54.740 Okay.
00:42:55.120 yelp has been yelp has been a friend
00:42:58.300 okay i trust i i want to see photos from the people staying there right yes like i want to
00:43:07.620 see certifiable reviews right but i feel like i'm never on yelp for hotels but i'm always looking at
00:43:12.780 restaurants no i'm always looking at pictures of hotels google google review must be the window
00:43:19.320 into
00:43:19.880 like the window into
00:43:25.540 human life okay
00:43:29.240 if you look something up on Amazon
00:43:31.400 okay and you scroll down oh I know
00:43:33.420 and you get to the photos I watch videos
00:43:35.160 the videos people like videos by the way
00:43:37.320 I do not appreciate this this
00:43:39.280 lure of honest review of
00:43:41.300 which is just yeah yeah and it's
00:43:43.280 an ad well no I
00:43:45.220 resent that it's like it's 0.98
00:43:47.400 trying to bait you almost into sort of thinking that maybe they're going to shit on the product 0.94
00:43:51.740 and so you get the clicks yeah and then it's like i love it yeah yeah we talked about this 0.73
00:43:57.560 like publicly but the people that that doc stars on say a book review on amazon because it arrived
00:44:06.800 damaged and the author has to live with that oh my god you're a genius oh you ready people zero
00:44:14.360 stars for this particular lemon squeezer okay because it never arrived outrageous get a life
00:44:23.280 yeah you're the system that's no go to customer service that's not what you're reviewing yeah
00:44:29.500 completely okay where are you with batch cocktails at a party
00:44:35.420 okay wait um okay wait wait wait wait really quickly i just want to say
00:44:43.220 Charming experience is a lot with a lost and found.
00:44:49.540 When's the last time you had to visit a lost and found?
00:44:51.700 So two things.
00:44:52.740 Daily.
00:44:53.200 A couple years ago, I had a transformative left of Precious Jacket.
00:44:56.340 Hello, Poop tour, left of Precious Jacket.
00:44:58.360 How dare you even tell me that story when I end that story.
00:45:00.580 I know you were.
00:45:01.080 You were with me.
00:45:01.620 You were guiding me through.
00:45:03.640 Okay, but listen to this.
00:45:05.780 I'm at a movie.
00:45:06.360 The community gathered around you.
00:45:07.560 I know.
00:45:07.880 Everyone in your life, we all supported.
00:45:09.660 I know.
00:45:10.500 Okay, I was at a screening.
00:45:11.840 at the theater right classic thing leaving the theater to walk to dinner i go oh the belt fell
00:45:17.620 off my jacket so upsetting i go i don't want to turn back right because we're closer to the
00:45:22.600 restaurant i go i must be wrong i must do this whole thing would i have the belt on was it in
00:45:26.920 the car was it at the house whatever yeah i i just go internally i go the belt's at the movie theater
00:45:32.300 i go i'm going ahead okay meaning i'm going ahead with my night knowing that i can get it
00:45:37.340 going ahead i'm just gonna figure out or it's gonna be at home i just was like i can't go
00:45:41.000 Turning back felt too overwhelming.
00:45:42.840 Yes, yes.
00:45:43.520 So the next day, and part of me goes, okay, it's gone forever. 0.79
00:45:46.880 Like, part of me was like, I'm just, I don't want to fucking deal with it.
00:45:49.080 Lost and found, I'm going to get my car. 0.86
00:45:50.300 Like, this is, next day I call.
00:45:52.100 Six hours.
00:45:52.660 And I think, and I imagine calling, I'm not going to read someone, right?
00:45:55.300 It's going to be a whole thing.
00:45:56.180 How replaceable is the belt?
00:45:57.420 So here's the thing.
00:45:58.440 It's made, like, I had it kind of, it goes with a specific jacket, and I had to have it tailored.
00:46:03.560 The belt snipped.
00:46:06.040 Tailored for me, added a whole.
00:46:07.740 Snipped is disgusting.
00:46:09.400 Okay.
00:46:10.320 And the leather matches the jacket beautifully.
00:46:12.120 I think it's because it sounds so close to the word tip.
00:46:15.000 Oh.
00:46:16.480 And so the snip and tip.
00:46:18.600 I got snip, obviously, just instant bris imagery.
00:46:22.220 That's what I mean.
00:46:22.880 And so the proximity of the word tip.
00:46:24.740 Yeah, yeah.
00:46:25.800 But okay. 1.00
00:46:26.680 No, but it's precious enough that I go, no, fuck. 1.00
00:46:29.020 And then I'm convincing myself, I can get another leather belt made. 0.99
00:46:31.800 And I go, interesting, hemorrhaging money for, you know what?
00:46:34.260 So the next day, I almost didn't pick up the phone to call the theater because I go,
00:46:37.780 I'm going to be lost from bureaucracy.
00:46:39.000 I'm going to get to a voicemail.
00:46:39.980 It's gone.
00:46:40.400 It's gone.
00:46:42.040 Hi.
00:46:43.440 Hi.
00:46:43.800 I was at a screening last night.
00:46:45.280 Yep, we have it.
00:46:46.220 Instant. 0.99
00:46:46.700 I go, are you fucking kidding me? 0.99
00:46:48.040 I go, oh, my God, you're kidding. 0.99
00:46:49.380 Can I come?
00:46:49.920 Let me redirect you to the lost and found.
00:46:51.500 Talking to this guy.
00:46:52.280 He goes, when can you come?
00:46:53.180 I go, I'm not kidding.
00:46:54.800 Realistically, I won't be there.
00:46:56.120 I want to give a week and a half, two weeks.
00:46:58.380 He goes, yep, I'm writing.
00:46:59.880 Give me your name.
00:47:00.440 Give me your number.
00:47:02.900 I went.
00:47:04.520 Parked outside.
00:47:05.320 By the way, do you have it yet?
00:47:06.740 It's in my car.
00:47:08.040 But I go in.
00:47:08.880 Security desk.
00:47:09.840 Hi, I left a belt here.
00:47:11.280 Oh, yeah, here it is.
00:47:12.100 They put it in a little package for me.
00:47:15.240 Hand it to me.
00:47:16.020 I go, people.
00:47:19.300 Actually, anytime you have one of those experiences, you go.
00:47:25.180 It's like a miracle.
00:47:25.780 You go.
00:47:26.240 Well, I have two things to say, okay?
00:47:29.100 I'm like, the loss of that.
00:47:30.140 Is this the 50s?
00:47:31.420 Yeah, and when it works?
00:47:32.340 Like pre-internet culture, lost and found.
00:47:34.560 Lost and found.
00:47:35.260 And then there was two things you said as a miracle.
00:47:38.420 oh people
00:47:38.980 because I'm like
00:47:40.000 okay when I have
00:47:40.680 that experience
00:47:41.060 I go thanks so much
00:47:42.100 for holding on
00:47:44.560 to it for me
00:47:45.420 he goes
00:47:45.860 no problem
00:47:46.320 two weeks
00:47:48.820 the belt was there
00:47:49.540 behind the desk
00:47:50.200 take a minute with that
00:47:51.940 I'm gonna get the exact date
00:47:53.180 I don't have to
00:47:53.840 it's almost two weeks
00:47:55.020 that's
00:47:56.560 that's a commitment
00:47:57.800 to a stranger
00:47:58.380 I mean to me the daily burden
00:47:59.240 is not that heavy on them
00:48:00.700 once they've found
00:48:01.480 the place that the
00:48:02.440 belt in the pouch
00:48:03.660 is gonna live
00:48:04.400 it's not like
00:48:05.480 you know
00:48:05.740 it increases daily
00:48:06.660 it's not a tuna sandwich rotting okay good point okay but i was still moved
00:48:13.240 no absolutely so so i'm proud of myself i went back for it yeah i almost go i love that belt
00:48:22.400 and i thought lost to the annals of history i always remember i saw queer and i lost my belt
00:48:27.540 yeah right yeah i did that with a hat white water rafting once i lost it is that and i and i was 0.59
00:48:35.980 like my feet dragging it's like this camping like teenager thing and like it's actually where i
00:48:41.560 learned did a bit of rock climbing okay oh but right we're at a rafting knocked knocked into
00:48:47.420 the into the sea i think we're in little canoes or something hat feet dragging getting like just
00:48:53.520 feet hitting rocks okay being like like you know you sign waivers and it's like yeah it's not safe
00:49:00.400 easily could have
00:49:01.500 if my head
00:49:02.100 knocked into something 0.95
00:49:03.220 dead
00:49:03.580 gone yeah
00:49:04.200 okay but anyway my hat
00:49:06.060 it's amazing we're not
00:49:07.260 just constantly
00:49:07.700 hitting our heads
00:49:08.380 lost to the sea
00:49:11.580 and I was
00:49:11.900 you know
00:49:12.160 sacrificed to the sea
00:49:13.260 it was a river
00:49:14.520 I lost a sea
00:49:15.640 I lost a
00:49:16.320 I remember
00:49:16.720 I remember the moment
00:49:17.500 I lost a tow ring
00:49:18.400 as a child
00:49:19.240 6th grade
00:49:20.740 6th grade
00:49:21.760 tow ring into the ocean
00:49:22.540 it's like well
00:49:22.900 it'll always be here
00:49:23.500 at the San Monaco Pier
00:49:24.220 kind of helped
00:49:25.080 that's beautiful
00:49:26.180 and by the way
00:49:26.660 look at me now
00:49:27.220 full grown woman
00:49:30.400 And?
00:49:31.200 And I feel I remember the toe ring more now.
00:49:34.940 Oh, yeah, exactly.
00:49:36.020 Sometimes losing a thing actually enforces a memory more than having it.
00:49:38.700 The absence throws into relief.
00:49:42.940 My favorite, my favorite verb phrase.
00:49:47.240 So useful.
00:49:48.380 But wait, hold on, Kate.
00:49:50.040 Here's the thing I want to cover before we go.
00:49:51.920 Yeah.
00:49:52.600 I'll wait for the phone to obviously be complete before I say anything.
00:49:57.340 Okay.
00:49:57.600 Okay.
00:50:00.400 lost and found oh
00:50:03.200 well i left my gray back country have you been okay it's a joke but have you been um uh uh my
00:50:14.600 my my gray it's not a stanley it's a hydro flask right okay i left it in re-grocery figure that
00:50:20.760 out okay chris goes oh god you know i think you left it in re-grocery okay okay got it you know
00:50:25.880 a week later i decided i want to get some more popcorn kernels in there which as you know i now
00:50:30.040 I'll pop in a glass bowl with a plate resting on top of it.
00:50:33.020 Incredible, incredible.
00:50:33.700 Okay?
00:50:35.020 It's so delicious.
00:50:37.000 And the amount that a couple kernels, you think of a little kernel,
00:50:40.240 you think of a piece of popcorn, I mean, it's,
00:50:45.140 a little creates more than you think it's going to create.
00:50:47.660 And not just the amount you think it's going to create.
00:50:49.240 Oh, I believe it, I believe it.
00:50:49.780 Okay, phenomenal.
00:50:51.180 Anyway, I roll in a re-grocery just when I'm ready for some kernels, okay?
00:50:54.680 Because I will not be bothered, right?
00:50:56.700 I'm willing to let it be free,
00:50:58.600 decide that maybe it's time for a new color
00:51:00.320 whatever
00:51:01.460 and by the way I just realized
00:51:04.700 when you said it it's so specific
00:51:06.520 hi
00:51:06.940 yeah like hi
00:51:08.220 yeah
00:51:09.480 so
00:51:12.000 I go I think I might have left my
00:51:15.800 and then the why
00:51:17.660 gotta do that
00:51:18.960 they had it in the back
00:51:21.460 sweet
00:51:23.120 that's all I had to say that wasn't what
00:51:25.580 I came here to say
00:51:26.980 okay you're never gonna believe it i'm gonna i'm gonna say it we actually gotta wrap up
00:51:31.480 so first coming from you doll okay we gotta wrap up but there's a few things we didn't get to and
00:51:36.640 i really want to will someone make a note that next episode i want to talk about becoming a woman
00:51:40.940 yeah it's a huge and i i want to talk about christmas tree choppers okay um i think that's
00:51:46.960 it great all right oh time to call out the founders okay well first of all before we do that
00:51:53.540 Yeah. If you're listening to this and you live in Los Angeles or in the tri-state area. Exactly. Or I don't know, in a different nation altogether. You know, that's only New York, right? The tri-state. All right. Of course. It's New York and New Jersey and Connecticut. Of course. OK, well, I still like saying it. Absolutely. No, I just recently. But thank you for for reminding me of that. But.
00:52:17.160 But we have shows.
00:52:19.640 If you live within six hours driving.
00:52:21.580 So, exactly.
00:52:22.640 The iconic Hollywood.
00:52:23.860 Three hours flying.
00:52:24.720 I know.
00:52:25.140 People have done it.
00:52:25.900 The iconic Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles, in the heart of Hollywood.
00:52:30.380 The Masonic Lodge.
00:52:31.200 Beautiful venue if you haven't been to it.
00:52:32.680 We are going to be doing three Christmas shows.
00:52:34.760 There are basically the first two are sold out, which has caused us to add a third late show.
00:52:40.620 That's December 12th at 930.
00:52:42.240 We're going to have special surprises.
00:52:44.700 It's going to be a real night.
00:52:45.880 And we also want to formally apologize to everyone that we haven't been able, that we weren't able to do a big Christmas tour this year.
00:52:54.360 As you can imagine, business was, we were undergoing a lot this holiday season trying to get this show up on its feet.
00:52:59.960 It's a class, it's like trying to tell the kids like, no, you having food on the table last week was Christmas.
00:53:06.180 Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:53:06.780 That's being like, the fact that you have a podcast.
00:53:08.720 No, no, no.
00:53:09.700 So we weren't able to, and of course, we see all your messages.
00:53:12.740 We're desperate to come back.
00:53:13.740 We will be back.
00:53:14.600 Please know.
00:53:15.340 I know that you know in your heart.
00:53:16.520 I'm still, I'm like, maybe we can sneak a few in.
00:53:18.500 Don't even say it.
00:53:19.020 Because I'm one of the few, I always know that there's a venue.
00:53:21.100 There's always a venue.
00:53:22.200 But it's not happening.
00:53:23.620 I refuse to accept that.
00:53:24.740 But yeah, tell them it's not happening.
00:53:25.280 But the point is that we will be to your city.
00:53:27.900 We promise.
00:53:29.200 But if you are in LA, check out the show.
00:53:32.680 December 12th, 930.
00:53:34.280 Nothing can replace a live experience.
00:53:35.740 Those are Christmas miracle shows.
00:53:37.500 They're called a Christmas miracle because that's what it is.
00:53:39.540 Because this is a Christmas miracle.
00:53:40.920 And it has been a Christmas miracle.
00:53:42.540 perfect segue for all of you showing up supporting us you truly can't imagine it's been it's been
00:53:48.580 the man with the bag is all the whole time the hags the whole time and we would like to specifically
00:53:54.960 shout out our founders oh yeah who are again if you have not if you're unaware we can do a donation
00:54:00.560 at the founding level these are um and of course everyone who's uh supporting the show thank you
00:54:06.080 so much but a special shout out to all right so this is the order we're going to maintain it
00:54:10.360 forever. Suzanne Abate, Suzanne Abate, David Saul, Mr. Saul, and Michael Stolte. Those are our
00:54:28.040 founding listeners. Suzanne Abate, David Saul, Michael Stolte. I don't know, but last time we
00:54:38.920 right in but um thank you uh and see you next week there's so much coming
00:54:46.800 it's true it's a lot okay i love you all right love you
00:54:51.340 once again we are sponsored by fatty 15 go to fatty 15.com slash hags and make sure you're
00:55:10.000 using the code hags at checkout for 15 off their 90-day subscription starter kit you'll be decanting
00:55:16.440 at home in no time. Thank you again to our sponsor, Fatty15.