Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Wetness is Different Than Tenderness

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:28.200 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:01:04.240 Wet eggs, hungry man, dying with a book.

00:01:09.880 Hello, hello.

00:01:11.220 I am starving.

00:01:13.360 Ah, me too.

00:01:14.160 And by the way, now I will not rest until I have spaghetti bolognese and chopped salad.

00:01:19.040 Yes.

00:01:19.600 Alongside, dropping on the table at the same time.

00:01:22.120 Yes.

00:01:22.500 I'm so hungry.

00:01:23.980 i just you saw me before we got on poop we were on facetime yes i scrambled some eggs put it on

00:01:29.280 toast it's like it went through my stomach and directly onto the floor yes it didn't take and

00:01:37.720 then jacqueline here mentioned la scala which is a classic italian beverly hills where i want to go

00:01:42.400 because i want to try to go to those places and i just brought up the website because i was like

00:01:46.340 we're going today i'm going to force you but they're completely booked until five so we're 0.84

00:01:50.300 fucked now i know i can't rest until i've had a towel yeah i am hungry as well i have begun um 0.94

00:01:57.060 oh my god so one of my dreams as a child this is what i saw as the height of la 0.99

00:02:01.060 success was it was from a movie some guy in a very modern like apartment i guess

00:02:07.480 opens his fridge and it's filled with like delivered pre-made food okay like he's on

00:02:13.600 some kind of program in my mind this is a film i think it was it could have been television

00:02:18.020 the image stuck in my head forever okay and he was in like good shape and it was this feeling of

00:02:22.960 like it all being taken care of like i know like he's so rich that he has this freezer and fridge

00:02:28.820 full of like the perfectly apportioned i know you know nutrients to maintain his physique yeah the

00:02:34.840 promise of that and i in a panic last week was so overwhelmed by food choice and making poor ones

00:02:42.320 and whatever that i found something online and i ordered a week's worth of meals and i sort of

00:02:47.240 forgotten and they showed up unbelievable it's been and this is out of your own pocket i mean

00:02:51.060 this is this is out of my pocket yeah absolutely i'd love to eat free via poog but wait a minute

00:02:56.640 wait a minute wait a minute so did you forget about what's going on are they rotting in there

00:03:00.000 no no no no it's all good there's no story here as usual oh my god i have ravioli in the freezer

00:03:04.020 i'm saved okay continue sorry i just remembered no it's it's um and it comes like in a stouffer's

00:03:10.920 plastic little thing that you stick in the oven in the microwave and i actually enjoy not plating

00:03:17.140 it okay oh yeah plating it is devastating right plating it is an indignity i mean it's a whatever

00:03:23.860 lipstick on a pig or whatever right eat it hovering over the sink yeah yeah i mean i'm into like

00:03:29.420 setting it on a plate to formalize it ever so slightly but treating it as a tv dinner yeah you

00:03:34.120 know what i'm saying yes tv dinners are heaven did you ever eat one never you literally haven't i

00:03:39.540 knew it okay get a hungry man today hungry man okay you know what my parents did weight watchers

00:03:45.180 at one point and they had the lean cuisines in there those are heaven there was a swedish

00:03:49.800 meatball lean cuisine that i think my dad ate a lot and uh i think i once had a little bit of it

00:03:57.580 hated it instantly but no stouffers sorry now i'm distracted or i'm happy i just i'm remembering now

00:04:04.060 that there's ravioli over there so after we record i'm gonna brew up some tomato sauce oh

00:04:09.180 they have something to eat you have something italian i have ravioli and poor parmesan put 0.97

00:04:14.420 cracked pepper and maldon salt on it and i'm gonna get into bed and watch sex in the city 0.74

00:04:18.840 again what do you mean again i'm re-watching no no i mean the other day i feel like last saturday 0.99

00:04:24.560 was also a bad day sex in the city in bed with food which sounds great i mean to be clear i don't 0.81

00:04:29.680 mean that should only happen once a year yeah yeah no no no that's where i am right now and i 0.96

00:04:33.900 i was pleased to see that in you last night at around 10 o'clock i sauteed some mushrooms 0.95

00:04:38.380 got into bed with them and watched sex in the city 0.98

00:04:41.160 and i have to say it's the best 0.93

00:04:47.820 well i'm more watching sopranos as you know and oh god i'm hysterical god it's it's nice to just

00:04:55.580 live in that house i mean just to be inside of the soprano home just to mentally live inside it

00:05:01.440 while watching the show you know what i mean do you crave italian food yes one time when i was a

00:05:06.340 kid my brother and i on like a saturday decided to um this was his idea it was like watch the

00:05:11.200 godfather and we're gonna eat my mother had made like shrimp fra diavolo i guess the previous night

00:05:15.880 what's that it's like spicy like shrimp tomato kind of thing over pasta shrimp has been huge

00:05:23.160 for me the last two years and so we were like let's watch the godfather and eat that in front

00:05:27.240 of it really good heaven on earth wait shrimp's been huge for you yeah i used to always fear

00:05:32.140 shrimp and then i would say about two years ago maybe three because we erased the pandemic

00:05:35.380 i was awoken to shrimp and now shrimp now shrimp now i crave regularly big juicy shrimp cocktail

00:05:43.300 uh is something that i that i live my life uh searching for i had that last night

00:05:49.640 shrimp cocktail the sauce the horseradish but i won't i won't i hate like if you go to like a 0.83

00:05:55.900 shit restaurant and they give you shrimp cocktail and it's like the tiny little shrimp that are 0.95

00:05:59.340 shriveled yeah that's hard for me to touch i'm sometimes suspicious of the super large ones like 0.98

00:06:05.100 they've been monsanto yeah i'm almost like is your meat gonna be flavorless like a big berry

00:06:10.200 like a big strawberry oh yeah yeah oh my god a big monsanto blueberry that's like the size of a

00:06:16.280 golf ball and produces no flavor oh my god do you remember those apples i'm really into like when

00:06:21.800 there was all that genetically modified fruit they're like inventing new fruit like oh the

00:06:25.480 the apple that tastes like a grape yeah my mom bought grapple the grapple was really exciting

00:06:29.800 and they came in a four pack i think so in a plastic four pack and it was like introducing

00:06:33.880 the grapple and it was like that was i think theta is i i can be wrong is theta shocked we

00:06:40.260 can see her face catching something else okay i feel like theta's eyes went wide it's gone now

00:06:45.000 i think and then also candy uh help me cotton candy grapes which are grapes that taste exactly

00:06:51.080 feel like cotton candy and i when i say exactly i mean exactly and they're bulbous they're like

00:06:55.960 these grape bulbs you pop them in it tastes like cotton candy it's shocking and i don't know i feel

00:07:01.880 like now it's sterile because the worst part of cotton candy arguably is the flavor right

00:07:06.800 it's it's the texture and the visual combined with the flavor that has some meaning you know

00:07:12.480 we eat through our eyes you know what that was a huge thing that people would say well what about

00:07:18.600 getting different what about getting different colors on the plate colorful plate purple cabbage

00:07:24.680 green dark leafy greens um red bell pepper vegetable diversity exhausts me i know i'm just

00:07:33.420 god the language around food and the attempt to encourage healthy eating when no one even

00:07:38.440 understands anything about any of this and there's no agreed upon truth about food um we're all 0.95

00:07:44.600 fucked i will say mark hyman has really been a a north star for me well mark hyman is one of the 0.67

00:07:50.160 few that i actually that's what i mean i mean the mark hyman for example you're do you watch 0.99

00:07:55.200 his videos they pop up a lot for me oh i see him on there you love him you have an erotic i see him

00:07:59.720 on there he's the one that convinced me there's a mark hyman smoothie where he's like here's what

00:08:04.040 you do almond milk oh yeah okay okay cauliflower frozen cauliflower berries uh i'm forgetting the

00:08:12.060 rest find it on your own time but the big revelation there was frozen cauliflower instead

00:08:16.860 of of course you have google for christ's sake frozen blueberries though i do i i do maybe i

00:08:23.940 have a smoothie once every 10 days and uh that i make in house i refuse to purchase a smoothie

00:08:28.900 because i think that's like eight thousand dollars a year that you spend on smoothies if you get in

00:08:33.760 the habit how much are they like i get a place literally 12 i would say the cheapest is like

00:08:38.720 maybe 11 and then an air one down here yeah and i'm not kidding they're 18 dollars oh and then

00:08:44.560 you have to tip your smoothie artist yeah and you're and then there's you're leaving and it's 0.57

00:08:48.840 a 20 goddamn smoothie which i would say well i think some of the boldest work in the art world 0.88

00:08:53.800 right now is happening in a blender happening remember you had that joke about what being an 0.99

00:09:01.020 intern at jamba juice yeah way back when classic back when i was starting out back when i still

00:09:06.260 had that hunger back when i still had that that dream yeah scribbling notes furiously you know

00:09:13.500 the tiny a tiny notebook oh my god my little notebook on the subway peering over the top

00:09:18.080 of it hoping somebody would see me and want to kiss me notice you to be seen writing yeah you're

00:09:22.480 always looking to fall in love i know felicity style always praying that at least six people

00:09:26.900 want to kiss me at all times wait food i just want there's something about other vegetables

00:09:33.720 I just want to continue to talk about it because it's been landing on me I mean oh well I've been

00:09:38.680 quite proud of myself because three days in a row I've started the day with a little bit of water

00:09:44.280 and you know I hate doing that and then okay I really resist it the whole lemon water thing that

00:09:50.440 I cannot get clear on whether it does anything or not it's like they all push it and then one

00:09:56.460 of them I see them pushing it and then she says the lemon's optional I go what the whole point

00:10:03.180 was was that the lemon is you know acidifying and alkalizing by virtue of being an acid i hate

00:10:09.460 even saying this but i and i hate even saying this but it is true that when because i've been

00:10:14.560 for some reason i've been dehydrating myself the last 10 days i'd say i'm just the water just won't

00:10:18.580 come in i just can't right deal with the filtration and you know refilling the aqua true what i want

00:10:23.780 to do is get a under the sink so the water that comes out is perfect so i can just fill it up

00:10:28.600 Like it's from the spigot, like it's the olden days.

00:10:30.740 And so, but listen, and again, I hate to, I hate to say this, but on the days when I

00:10:37.540 start with a big old jug of water.

00:10:39.460 Oh no.

00:10:39.980 Your skin looks better.

00:10:41.040 No, no, no. 1.00

00:10:41.980 Fuck that. 1.00

00:10:42.300 Oh, sorry. 1.00

00:10:42.960 Okay.

00:10:43.220 I was just going to say it is, this is the thing about hydration is that the more you

00:10:47.940 drink, the thirstier you become, right?

00:10:49.600 So when you're, when you're in the habit of not drinking water, you don't crave it.

00:10:52.360 And then it becomes hell to drink it.

00:10:53.740 But if you first thing in the morning, chug a lot of water, the thirst that takes over

00:10:57.960 is shocking.

00:10:58.380 and that's where hydration is such a complicated issue is that you have to devote your life to it

00:11:01.760 right and that you're peeing you're peeing and i don't appreciate this myth that like what it's

00:11:06.500 just water you have to devote your life to it you're going to be peeing you're carrying it i

00:11:11.080 don't enjoy the kind of social cachet of the of the elevated water bottle and the kind of the

00:11:16.160 water bottle is like the new you enjoy it no you like it i don't enjoy it don't and i and i and i

00:11:21.060 tolerate it because you must devote your life well i here in la you know i drive a car and so i'll

00:11:26.540 have a glass water bottle in my car from time to time and i can drink the water in the privacy of

00:11:31.160 my car but i won't be i won't be toting it around but but to suggest that drinking water is simple

00:11:37.880 is such an is such a cruelty to the masses because you're peeing constantly you're carrying it around

00:11:43.640 you're you're filtering i mean it's just it's a it's a huge job that's why it falls away from my

00:11:49.080 life okay because it's not an active part of it you're not nothing's wrong with you so yeah if

00:11:54.260 only the government would find a way to just sort of force force hydrate us like by which I mean

00:12:00.080 like I don't know again I just go back to the bus stops remember I had the idea about about

00:12:04.740 red light emanating from the under every bus stop oh yeah of course thing or on the subways so that

00:12:10.080 we're all being healed you know during the commute very Marianne Williamson of you and then also

00:12:15.440 hydration just a little spritz here and there like just as you're walking down the street you sort of

00:12:19.220 get spritz and it sort of hits in your mouth maybe there's a micro hydration method that could occur

00:12:23.120 like do you know what i'm saying like i don't i don't know how they'd do it i mean they have

00:12:26.520 water fountains around i guess i bought celery if you can imagine chopped celery to eat it yeah

00:12:32.660 like it's 1997 and i'm in an article about like preparing for you know a film and well you know

00:12:39.260 celery oh yeah preparing for a film just crunching when i eat something crunchy i could go for chips

00:12:44.380 but why when that if you're crunching that something then if you're crunching something

00:12:49.000 you're happy or it's celery right and yet no actually no exactly what a lie what a joke

00:12:54.920 crunching on celery pronounces the crunch the lack of the crunch the crunch isn't producing

00:12:59.880 what it normally does exactly well because it's a crunch with a tsunami flowing through it which

00:13:04.840 is not a crunch chips are not wet that's the problem it's not wet enough i mean i mean it's

00:13:13.240 not it's not i got confused i love sending something back at a restaurant because it's

00:13:17.820 not wet enough oh my god well eggs how do i i tend to like a wet egg i want it dry really you

00:13:26.080 like a dry scramble if i see it the amniotic fluid hey guys guess what an egg is well no one

00:13:32.920 quite understands because it's so disgusting we wouldn't be able to live any longer if we knew

00:13:37.400 what it was but when you crack oh you look at the egg whites oh you want some scrambled amniotic

00:13:43.400 fluid i mean it's absolutely disgusting and i eat eggs all the time so you're disgusted when an egg

00:13:49.500 isn't scrambled a wet egg to me i could truly projectile vomit across the room right now

00:13:54.380 thinking about it because i just ate the egg a wet scramble or a wet fried i don't want it wet

00:13:59.640 okay listen the yolk to me i like over medium i want a dark yellow yolk and yes i want some bleed

00:14:06.800 so we're talking right now about a fried egg let's get clear i want i want some runniness on

00:14:13.820 the yolk and by the way the yolk can be right but if that's white amniotic fluid of course no one

00:14:18.580 would like that gelatinous if i'm shaking that if i'm shaking the plate and it's shaking a failure

00:14:23.260 i'm throwing the plate i'm bucking i'm bucking off my chair and doing a backflip 0.97

00:14:30.540 like a horse getting out a spooked horse one of my favorite phrases is bucking orgasm 0.91

00:14:37.100 and if there's runny scrambled eggs then i'm i'm yeah but i like that you said over medium

00:14:44.620 like no but but scrambled eggs i don't like when they're too dry i want to practically charred if

00:14:50.440 there's any wet in there no no of course like here's what i did today i scrambled it up put

00:14:54.460 some salt in there put some cheddar in there so there's a wetness kind of there's something gooey

00:14:58.760 happening with the cheddar. Right. But you know, you know what the scramble itself, there's nothing

00:15:04.960 wet in there. Okay. And by the way, let's not let's not let's not confuse tenderness with

00:15:10.320 wetness. Here's what I'm picturing. If you if you laid a bounty, a single bounty on top of your

00:15:18.000 perfect scrambled eggs for 10 seconds, press down, lift it up. Yeah, yeah. Would there be any moisture?

00:15:23.340 Are you talking so dry? There would because there's been oil involved. There's been butter

00:15:27.460 involved wetness is different than tenderness no but i'm saying what i think you're calling

00:15:34.140 wetness is uncookedness yeah yeah that's true that's what you fear okay not the wetness of a

00:15:39.060 fresh item i think you might be confusing because because i'm pretty convinced that if you went to

00:15:44.080 so for example like okay an omelet prepared in a restaurant okay puke yeah what sorry now i'm just

00:15:50.420 now i'm just acting out no no no an omelet by the way i take it back i don't know why i said that

00:15:56.500 i said that that was something here let me let me define for you my two omelets in a restaurant

00:16:03.160 and which i like and which i don't okay okay go i don't like when it's really puffy and it's folded

00:16:09.000 over and it's like the omelet itself is like full of air okay like it's really like they might even

00:16:13.960 like it it it's almost like spongy it's so i understand okay yeah i don't like that now i

00:16:18.640 remember at this place good enough to eat um a beloved brunch place on the upper west side

00:16:23.440 their omelets all stated something like prepared the french way or something there was a little

00:16:28.720 thing on the menu yeah that suggested like we do the loose french preparation okay and so it's

00:16:36.100 gonna be a bit wetter and it was perfection by the way i want to say because this is also what

00:16:41.080 defines my life i hereby strike everything i've previously said because thank you that wet french

00:16:46.160 omelet that i'll do okay i knew you would that's a whole different item and to confirm i'm talking

00:16:51.080 about separately wet white gelatinous amniotic fluid shaking in hell insane to me that's as

00:16:57.540 insane a prospect yeah i mean you've seen that in a restaurant uh-huh and i've seen it in the

00:17:02.760 privacy of my own home when there was no one to turn to but listen i also want to say that this

00:17:06.880 is because this is an image that i've never said out loud that has that has been in my life forever

00:17:10.480 and this is crazy because lady and the tramp has come up on book before but lady and the tramp

00:17:16.460 there's something that happens or oh maybe it's 101 dalmatians right but a puppy is scooped up

00:17:21.040 into a little blanket and folded into the blanket and i always permanently then associated that

00:17:26.520 little puppy folded in the blanket with omelets and burritos right and it's something this is

00:17:31.700 again something that i preface this with going i've never said this before although that somehow

00:17:35.820 suggests that it should be said but now i've said it and that's an image not at all and actually

00:17:41.300 that does suggest and also i regularly i mean anytime that i'm in a blank i'm in a blanket

00:17:47.520 or my cat is it's referenced as a burrito because it just is and those babies babies you see wrapped

00:17:56.180 up in the hospital they always call them little burrito etc right for me it's the puppy it's the

00:18:00.900 lady in the champ 101 dalmatian no i'm excited by that instagram sounds beautiful um but yeah

00:18:06.480 no a little french okay we can close the book on this the little french omelet that's the dream

00:18:10.780 Typically with chevre and chives, that can stay.

00:18:15.500 Yeah, I mean, it's not the ingredients themselves that go inside the omelet that is the issue.

00:18:20.380 That's the preparation.

00:18:20.940 Yeah, but we have to get a break.

00:18:23.160 And often the simplest recipes are the hardest to master.

00:18:25.780 I take back nothing.

00:18:26.940 Okay, off you go.

00:18:31.780 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:18:35.180 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:18:40.780 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:18:44.920 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:18:46.260 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:18:49.900 No, I am not your guru.

00:18:53.660 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:18:56.300 I lied to police.

00:18:57.560 I lied to everybody.

00:18:58.560 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:19:01.520 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:19:04.200 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:19:06.880 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:19:10.220 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:19:14.960 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:19:17.900 I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:19:20.920 Boom. Boom. This is The Red Weather. 1.00

00:19:25.240 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:19:35.800 We're back. We're back.

00:19:36.920 I went to the dentist two days in a row, and it's the only way to do it.

00:19:40.580 Was it my dentist?

00:19:41.600 No.

00:19:42.260 Okay, yeah.

00:19:42.840 Oh, yeah.

00:19:43.180 No, but actually, I'm going to see how they feel.

00:19:46.260 Maybe I'll drop their name on a future thing.

00:19:48.020 Maybe I'll get some Starbucks gift cards like you do.

00:19:50.580 I'll cut into your business.

00:19:52.620 I'll be recommending my...

00:19:53.880 It was your dentist, right?

00:19:54.920 You recommended Ampoog?

00:19:56.360 And that the people are soaring in.

00:19:57.620 They're soaring in.

00:19:58.040 Imagine...

00:19:58.520 But wait, did you get...

00:20:00.120 I went two days in a row, and I want to say...

00:20:02.280 Two days in a row because you had feelings?

00:20:02.980 I went two days in a row.

00:20:04.200 Sorry, I'll let you just talk.

00:20:05.480 No, I enjoy the questioning.

00:20:06.580 the probing it feels like like hands all over me i love it like like support you know what i mean

00:20:11.360 okay yeah um i went two days in a row and i gotta say i think that's the only way to do it i mean

00:20:15.800 i've come up with this in the past this concept of two weeks out of the year i book nothing but

00:20:20.700 appointments for two weeks brilliant brilliant and some of them require you know dentists you're

00:20:25.480 supposed to go more than that right so whatever that okay maybe it's two separate you don't even

00:20:29.980 need two weeks you do one week and then another week yeah one week and then another week okay

00:20:33.520 And it's like, Hey guys, it's June one. You know what that means? And then every day, like my job.

00:20:39.260 Okay. Gynecologist, dentist, GP, derm. Oh my God. I mean, is that huge? That's really nice. I like

00:20:47.520 that. I need a goddamn checkup. Me too. And I need blood work. I want it all. I need blood work. I 1.00

00:20:55.500 want it all. I want tapping on the knees. I want it all. I want them to look inside. Well, how does

00:21:01.260 one there's a question i thought yesterday when i was walking down the hall in the dentist

00:21:04.420 how the hell are you supposed to find a gp it's impossible they're hiding okay how the hell let

00:21:11.360 alone i mean that's your main guy and i don't use guy gendered i have a main guy and i think i've

00:21:17.820 talked about him before son was a doctor who i love but he's he's he's not in my network it's

00:21:22.800 out of insurance so i never go to him right unless it's an emergency i went to him once because i

00:21:26.540 was convinced i had a tampon stuck in me on a saturday there was no tampon and then i charmed

00:21:30.820 the whole office they didn't charge me you tap danced out you tap danced out yeah it was so 0.92

00:21:34.940 pathetic they were so shocked that a woman could have a phantom tampon like that so i left 0.96

00:21:40.720 was immediately proclaimed a hysterical similarly i went to another doctor i've been 0.96

00:21:46.760 proclaimed a hysterical a couple times i went to a doctor because i had a persistent lump in my 0.97

00:21:51.600 throat which is a classic like freudian like oh calm down bitch you know thing wait calm down 0.99

00:21:56.600 bitch yeah oh globos it's like something globos okay and the doctor printed out like a xerox 1.00

00:22:02.440 thing from like the dsm or something that was like a xerox thing and it literally had like 0.98

00:22:08.660 hystericization like it had like hysterical like in it and i was like this was like you know in

00:22:13.500 the last six years but no anyway the lamp went away but the point is they were like there's

00:22:18.600 something you're trying to say that you're not saying like immediate freudian meanwhile there's

00:22:22.240 a goiter they were they didn't even go that deep yeah i know meanwhile meanwhile globus continues

00:22:27.860 to go on anyway the point is sorry no but the search for the general practitioner the search

00:22:33.120 for the doctor that is the relationship that i want to cultivate i dream of having like my doctor

00:22:37.460 over for dinner like that's like it's like i mean i've have a deep now really exciting relationship

00:22:42.240 with my new gynecologist wow and it's really popped off and i'm thrilled because i feel so

00:22:46.400 scene and i feel like i can just like it's really gorgeous okay wow i want that with a gp i want to

00:22:52.260 be able to go oh god there's a shooting pain right and i want them to go oh here you go i need that

00:22:57.560 i have no clue what i want a gp but how the hell do you find one when you don't like you can't like

00:23:03.960 do i google gp like listen you go in within your insurance like with my insurance i had this woman

00:23:10.120 that i went to a couple times didn't like her like i literally by the way oh this is huge i was 0.99

00:23:15.660 telling her a certain issue she literally threw apple a day keeps the doctor away me she suggested

00:23:20.700 i eat an apple in the morning and at night no and i was like this was ucla constipation what

00:23:25.320 for constipation yeah maybe it's good advice

00:23:29.580 nonetheless no but she threw an apple did you see her oh apple a day no i was just done what else

00:23:37.460 doc take two and call you in the morning yeah oh a gala apple a fuji like oh my god reference to

00:23:44.540 the varietal yeah no but i i and by the way maybe and of course i didn't do it and so maybe that's

00:23:51.140 on me but i'm like am i really gonna devote my life to eating an apple every morning and at night

00:23:54.860 what well well you do devote yourself to some other practices right by the way do you drink

00:24:00.060 matcha at all or is that just something sort of your reference i go in and out with matcha right

00:24:04.980 now i probably matcha hasn't touched my lips in easily two months okay but i've gone through

00:24:08.620 periods where i'm where i'm really into it okay i was like an afternoon because i i tried it you

00:24:13.560 know i only have like two cups of coffee a day max usually it's more like one but sometimes if

00:24:18.120 i'm like oh it's three o'clock then historically i would do a matcha i was gonna tell you my pride

00:24:23.280 that i've been drinking a little water in the morning but there's more to it okay i then have

00:24:28.420 bone broth oh owl bone broth uh no i i drank through all the owl owl sent us stuff just saying

00:24:35.820 that here thank you all sent us fabulous stuff and i it was heaven and uh now i've ordered from

00:24:41.480 factor foods who i will be seeking sponsorship from okay i've never heard of them they're the

00:24:46.400 ones that i got the meal delivery from but they also have bone broth what led you to them

00:24:50.440 instagram fierce googling what's their shtick what's the shtick like 10 best keto option you

00:24:57.560 know 10 best you know delivery low low carb whatever or like you know or thing that has

00:25:01.820 different diet i'm honestly really embarrassed at sakara i'm embarrassed for sakara that they

00:25:05.900 haven't reached out because i know some sakara pr people are listening to boog okay yeah where's

00:25:11.180 a metabolism powder yeah where's the box salad i once did a i would i just saw the metabolism

00:25:17.200 powder by sakara yesterday in a online shop and it's chocolatey so i that's you know you're

00:25:23.900 interested it's like but it's like supposed to speed up digestion metabolism it's always it's

00:25:28.580 never clear sometimes i feel like they try to confuse us okay like they say metabolism and

00:25:34.060 they mean digestion which is a form of metabolism right okay but you all know we think metabolism

00:25:39.200 means like you're burning cows that you eat instantly and those are two different things

00:25:44.040 clearly and i feel like they just sort of throw it under the blanket of fire in the belly i'd

00:25:48.080 love to try the powder and again i know sakara people are listening and to have not received a

00:25:52.700 box yet is humbling imagine working in a wellness store um or or you know at a wellness company and

00:25:59.160 not and knowing you haven't yet reached out to poog it must just be horrible uh just to just to

00:26:05.880 wake up in the morning to force us to come to you yeah and by the way i'll do it because i've

00:26:09.840 done it before and i'll do it again and i and i'm i'm open to beg but i'm looking oh by the way

00:26:14.580 if any hoteliers okay i don't know if that's a term but our hoteliers reach out to me okay i'm

00:26:20.380 looking to be put up in a few places well so am i reach out to me as well no no absolutely yeah

00:26:26.220 it's just i would love a free trip to greece yeah if anyone's offering um i'm curious wait

00:26:33.140 but sorry the boxed meals no yeah so bone broth so i've done a little water and i do the bone

00:26:39.120 broth then i've been following with a until i get my produce and my smoothie ingredients together

00:26:44.260 i've just been going you know i've just been grabbing a cold pressed greens only juice oh

00:26:49.840 my god and we share one of those because they're a little intense so then we do so that you do a

00:26:55.120 smooth wait hang on here sorry you're making smoothies no that's the thing but i'm sitting

00:26:59.620 on a blender looking to get back into smoothies i read this book a million years ago the green

00:27:04.040 smoothie solution and it was you know it's one of these things where green smoothies can change

00:27:09.540 your life but you have to make sure your blender's strong enough or you're not damaging the cell

00:27:13.760 structure the cellular structure okay but it's it was all smoothie it was anti-juice and it was all

00:27:20.080 and then but you know it's really crazy and the whole concept which i do appreciate okay

00:27:24.560 is fully um you don't have to remove anything from your diet if you merely add a green smoothie in

00:27:30.220 the morning add people start shedding pounds whatever people whatever greens you have a

00:27:37.720 dandelion green again you know going for vegetal vegetal diversity okay dandelion green very bitter

00:27:43.320 highly bitter for a smoothie well i call it as i've told you when i like sort of believed i had

00:27:49.120 named something but can't remember if it and no it did the rose garden i told you it's when i

00:27:52.720 out a few berries to a green smoothie to give it a little something but anyway this is the one thing

00:27:56.800 that talk about talk about devoting your life to an apple okay okay okay this green smoothie world

00:28:03.240 that i was totally sold on they were like but because you're going to be drinking so many

00:28:07.300 green smoothies like this was all i guess this doesn't make sense jesus all right all right

00:28:12.060 here's what i'm trying to say there was something about they had you get this thing to chew on to

00:28:16.580 make sure you didn't lose too much chewing of your chewing muscles so this this person would

00:28:22.260 just be doing the smoothies that's insane i guess they were just drinking smoothies all the time i

00:28:27.000 don't know because it's confusing but it was something about that it was like if you're gonna

00:28:30.600 really do it you know you need to miss like you need to you need a chewing stick you need you need

00:28:34.680 to also chew and that's like joyless but also i accept any practice no matter how outrageous it is

00:28:42.200 if it's the thing keeping someone from wanting to die you know well sure yeah like i remember

00:28:47.800 someone saying like someone saying like like about cognitive behavioral theory oh oh you're

00:28:52.220 gonna write down the event like you're gonna write down your emotion and then in the next column

00:28:56.420 you're gonna write down the event that caused it and then you're gonna write down the limiting

00:28:58.800 beliefs or the cognitive errors that you made like that sounds like a great life and it's like

00:29:03.860 well actually that's what we want to live someone yeah everyone's made a bargain to live i mean like

00:29:10.840 everyone has suicide as an option at all times because suicide is always an option okay i mean

00:29:16.280 technically speaking everyone's choosing what makes life tolerable for them right right actually

00:29:21.460 and i think one of the reasons maybe oh no i don't want to speak confidently on suicide but

00:29:25.480 i do think um we all i don't know like sometimes i see people who i feel like have a better

00:29:31.320 understanding of that fact like i see them going well life's not worth living to me if i have to

00:29:37.100 exercise so i'm not exercising you know they don't say that yeah but that's like the truth

00:29:41.600 and i can tell that there's no regret because they know that's the only bargain they're willing

00:29:45.760 to make yeah with life yeah like those are the terms of the deal it's like and we all have those

00:29:50.720 and i kind of think it's interesting so so i get you know well i could never give up my blah blah

00:29:54.540 but occasionally there are things where you know something fucks you up enough that you have to be

00:30:00.260 the annoying person who doesn't eat grain or whatever it is right you know or i'm gonna go

00:30:04.000 do my cbt journal like i don't know it's just like i don't know but wait but wait what was the

00:30:09.360 i can't remember what was exactly before that that inspired that um um talk about an apple a day a

00:30:14.880 oh uh oh yeah well the smoothies because i was gonna say all right that there's this book i

00:30:19.440 bought because this was i don't know years ago and it's all about and i hate this food combining

00:30:25.940 oh okay which is again one of these things of so let me get this straight you're gonna devote

00:30:30.660 your entire life so it's a food the order or i'm like the order where it's like okay so

00:30:35.520 raw stomach first you do undressed arugula like literally okay and then it's like and then you

00:30:42.940 slowly work in yams and then if you have to have a little protein then you have it you have a lean

00:30:48.480 chicken cutlet with a little lemon on top it's like by the way if i were christina aguilera

00:30:54.140 in 2000 and i was on a world tour and i had a full staff and it was like my body i had given over my

00:31:01.420 body to to being famous you know people that donate their bodies to fame are on a different

00:31:07.260 path okay and it's like and that's why also like flipping through the magazines as a teenager right

00:31:12.420 to us weekly oh here's the snacks that these starsy it's crazy we're not that your life you're

00:31:17.540 not on a world tour you're not christine aguilar right so in what world is a snack 12 almonds and

00:31:22.440 a piece of fruit and that was something that scarred me permanently it was 12 almonds and a

00:31:25.460 piece of fruit was christine aguilar oh well you know instead of the frappuccino in the afternoon

00:31:31.120 to pick to pick me up yeah how about a handful of almonds yeah exactly well well i mean i i've

00:31:36.640 probably said this and if you have to a date an immediate date no if you must a medjool day it's

00:31:42.060 always medjool with these with these people um it's not medjool medjool it's not a date i guess

00:31:48.740 oh my god yes no you just reminded me that i was making a dessert with medjool dates that

00:31:52.800 were so good i was like i could sell these i could i could stop my i could turn over my whole

00:31:56.320 life to this date stuff with almond butter wait wait okay wait because it's not worth it but

00:32:04.080 listen please this is a medjool date sliced open like a surgeon i'd slice it open i'd shove in

00:32:10.080 some almond butter and then i was making how the hell was i making it jacqueline for the life of

00:32:14.980 me i was melting down coconut oil with cacao powder and some date sugar oh my god making

00:32:19.800 this kind of cacao liquid syrup stuff pouring that in no and then i was folding i was

00:32:25.220 sorry i don't know why this is making me laugh it's not funny i'm enjoying it and then i was i

00:32:30.080 was i was i was coating i was coating the almond butter stuffed mutual date in this coconut oil 0.77

00:32:37.440 cacao thing putting them in the freezer right of course it's a goddamn snickers i'm not kidding 0.97

00:32:42.180 you it's a goddamn snickers i was like you could serve these on halloween to four-year-olds and 0.99

00:32:46.200 they would scream with delight okay continue and yet they're eating a date can they can they believe 1.00

00:32:51.040 it they're eating a date what about sneaking in veggies for your kids oh my god oh i hide the

00:32:57.980 broccoli inside of them there's a whole industry of that it's like you know little chicken nuggets

00:33:03.380 shaped like dinosaurs other than like scoffing it's like i guess that is real like you have to

00:33:06.820 give kids no totally i mean you could also introduce them to a salad i don't know i just

00:33:11.500 think it's funny to be judgmental that's the thing my daughter will be getting a dandelion greens

00:33:15.600 immediately right to kind of get that palate in shape but then i'm introducing raw ginger early

00:33:20.920 okay curry's going in early i think you should also introduce some cultural institutions that

00:33:27.800 are fast food based i grew up a coca-cola sweetheart you didn't know what sparrow was

00:33:32.680 last week and i assumed it was a west coast east coast by the way joking we'll listen back now you

00:33:38.140 know transcript because i know what sparrow is i lived in new york for nine years okay

00:33:42.400 we'll go back i can't wait to go back i can't wait because i know i'm right no i don't even

00:33:47.500 know i'm right but oh the palate the palate because for example i want to talk a little more

00:33:51.500 so you've never had a like a tv dinner i remember feeling great pride as a kid not lean cuisine

00:33:57.980 cake okay okay i'm talking the 50s base no no no not stoffers either okay let me explain to you

00:34:02.920 the difference okay stoffers lean cuisine all of those are a single rectangle filled with usually

00:34:08.060 a single item lean cuisine might have a little broccoli on this side and a little thing i see

00:34:11.640 what you're saying you're saying the delta the in-flight meal angle yes okay it's compartments

00:34:16.420 okay and the true so there were two kinds in the supermarket as a kid there was a smaller one which

00:34:21.220 i can't remember what its name was and there was a bigger looking box and that one was called the

00:34:25.540 hungry man and i always said i'll take the hungry man and i loved it and it was so good it had fried

00:34:32.140 chicken in the big compartment then it had mashed potatoes in another little compartment i think it

00:34:37.620 was corn honestly but it was delicious okay and then in the center compartment you know for last

00:34:43.580 cherry pie that is incredible delicious i think i might have to get one tonight if whole foods has 0.99

00:34:51.300 the courage to carry it and i know they don't those bastards they certainly don't why is it 0.92

00:34:56.000 like just that image it's like such a image of americana it makes me want to enlist in the army 0.95

00:35:00.360 tomorrow like just just knowing that like it's like it does something to me politically like

00:35:04.900 i get excited i get like when you hear about cherry pie and mashed potatoes i can't explain

00:35:09.540 it it affects my voting record or like maybe this is like and by the way i'm aware what okay what

00:35:14.760 i'm saying sounds like i'm doing this kind of classes like kind of like blue collar like i'm

00:35:18.660 going to eat at Stouffer's and register in the Navy. But it kind of does. You know, I think,

00:35:24.120 I mean, it's just the imagery. No. Yeah. But there's a romanticism to it. Exactly. And I

00:35:28.920 always think like you can expand upon. I don't know. It's fun to have those things. It's fun

00:35:34.320 to love McDonald's. OK, you know why? Because then when you're driving through the country

00:35:38.440 and you're hungry to go home every three blocks, you get to go home every three blocks.

00:35:43.080 That is a great ad for McDonald's. It's home. We're gonna have to go to break. OK, OK,

00:35:48.540 Okay, see you soon.

00:35:49.380 See you soon.

00:35:54.220 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:35:58.280 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:36:03.420 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:36:07.440 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:36:08.760 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:36:12.060 So no, I am not your guru.

00:36:15.640 and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody there were years

00:36:22.020 right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in northern

00:36:25.940 california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try to find

00:36:31.200 out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:36:35.820 and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you sons of

00:36:41.480 You come around, you're in my way.

00:36:43.520 Boom, boom.

00:36:44.740 This is The Red Weather.

00:36:47.840 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:36:50.320 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:36:58.700 All right, we're back, baby.

00:36:59.920 We're back.

00:37:00.480 I got this thing that you would be into from Whole Foods.

00:37:02.560 It's like a keto brownie in a cup.

00:37:04.000 It's like you microwave it.

00:37:04.980 Wait, you got a keto?

00:37:06.120 Oh, is it like, is it a mug cake?

00:37:07.940 It looks like a cup of noodle,

00:37:09.260 but it's like, there's a brownie in there.

00:37:11.060 And I got kind of excited and it was on sales like a dollar and I was like, yeah, sure. 1.00

00:37:14.680 Fuck it. 1.00

00:37:15.280 It's a mug cake, I believe. 1.00

00:37:16.860 I mean, they might call it brownie, but a big trend in the keto community over the years

00:37:20.640 were these mug cakes where you pour like, you know, it was like the easiest thing in

00:37:25.280 the world.

00:37:25.700 A tablespoon of almond flour, a little coconut oil, a little whatever, a little whatever,

00:37:30.160 throw it in the microwave for 45 seconds.

00:37:32.220 You've got a little cake.

00:37:33.260 That sounds fun.

00:37:33.980 Yeah.

00:37:34.200 I mean, I'm so excited to get back into bed.

00:37:36.320 Oh my God.

00:37:37.120 Really?

00:37:37.340 I'm going to force myself to read for half an hour and then I'm going to watch Sex and

00:37:40.660 the City for like three hours.

00:37:42.600 I have a huge question.

00:37:43.760 Why not the couch?

00:37:45.120 I mean, I feel bad saying this in front of her, but I hate my couch.

00:37:48.760 I took a huge plunge, bought a new couch, really excited.

00:37:52.360 It's not here yet.

00:37:53.500 It's kind of a big adult purchase.

00:37:55.760 You don't want to speak any more on it?

00:37:57.100 You don't want to give any details?

00:37:58.320 I don't want to jinx it.

00:37:58.700 What if it gets ruined in transport?

00:38:00.580 I don't know.

00:38:01.140 To buy a couch.

00:38:02.780 Wow.

00:38:03.320 I know.

00:38:03.620 i i my couch is like my couch is it's not comfortable the cushions are coming off

00:38:09.080 it was a west elm floor model i went in like two days before christmas i was gonna say the west

00:38:13.600 elm the uh it was already on sale yeah and then i was like how about this one i took the floor

00:38:18.180 model home it had like two buttons missing so it was like a crazy reduced price yeah

00:38:22.700 it just doesn't work and it never has no i remember i remember being impressed by it i

00:38:28.280 remember you sending me a picture of that couch um like five years ago yeah wow no but i'm excited

00:38:33.200 for the new couch so i can because this couch is going to foster sleeping and naps and so the new

00:38:39.600 couch is going to be blanket couch person washing things there but now if i really want to get cozy

00:38:45.020 i got to get back in bed okay interesting i you know what intrigues me i've seen this a lot recently

00:38:50.020 these couches that are kind of like two lazy boys stuck together with a cup holder in between them

00:38:56.540 okay you know i'm talking about right they're the height of not interior design right just pure

00:39:00.660 comfort they're the absolute height of it yeah and i'm kind of i don't want one but can you picture

00:39:04.940 it now it's like it's deranged if you like are into interior design you would never put that in

00:39:10.500 right right your house you've never seen one in a magazine pure function but it's there's something

00:39:14.320 like sometimes i see the people and they put their drink in it okay and they sit down and their feet

00:39:19.040 are up it's like this kind of existence that isn't for anyone else and there's something about that

00:39:24.140 that i'm intrigued by what do you mean isn't for somebody else well like no one like thinks those

00:39:29.120 are attractive right okay no no they're quite simply not attractive like a cup holder yeah

00:39:33.640 is not part of a piece of living room furniture a cup holder to me i immediately become panicked

00:39:38.780 because i'm like one size fits all what if you have a jar like i just it's too overwhelming for

00:39:43.720 me if you're drinking out of a mason jar you probably don't have that couch yeah but i was

00:39:49.800 at an airbnb in the last 365 days and uh they had a lazy boy oh my god they had a little button on

00:39:57.220 the side you press it it was kind of like a like a yeah executive lazy boy it was like a fancy lazy

00:40:01.520 boy or something yeah yeah it was so comfortable and the experience of watching a movie and it was

00:40:06.000 so overwhelming that i immediately changed your voting record changed my voting record

00:40:10.260 oh i went i went out to the website searching furiously couldn't find it anywhere i was ready

00:40:17.500 to throw down i was ready to find a lazy boy you couldn't find i was ready to find this specific

00:40:21.400 model slightly kind of sexy lazy boy because i was like i could read in this for hours like yes you

00:40:26.400 know what's preventing me from reading for three hours straight chair the right chair couldn't

00:40:30.640 agree more like i actually believe that because when i'm by the way i'll get on the couch i'll

00:40:36.600 read but do i ever make it past the hour mark oh my god no well to make it past the hour mark

00:40:41.740 to me reading starts stirring things up in my brain and there's a quickening okay there's

00:40:46.340 something that happens and then i get into this state where i want to doze off and it's heaven

00:40:49.960 even if it's after an hour sometimes it's after three sentences yeah but it does something it's

00:40:54.300 like god to slip away to pass away while reading oh that's cool i've never heard that to pass away

00:41:01.320 while reading would be incredible dying with the book i'm picturing the book like splayed out on

00:41:06.480 the ground yes and then the person who finds you do they go to the page and then yes do they put

00:41:10.620 they imbue that page with meaning well they have to and then i mean the question would be be looking

00:41:15.520 at the page and you're going did they read the top sentence of the page or did they read the

00:41:18.600 whole page well no but my version the book just fell so it's like fate opened the book to a certain

00:41:23.360 page oh i thought it was splayed and that page somehow has some like final word on that person's

00:41:29.300 life well i happened upon one of these articles of last words or something like that some of them

00:41:35.200 you know you get that feeling they planned it you know what i mean they've been cooking theirs up

00:41:38.820 for years they're like is that all there is yeah yeah yeah or they're like like there was someone

00:41:45.200 who had a joke about having the final word or something you know like whatever no by the way

00:41:49.800 i know exactly i've read the same like short list of famous final words because i remember that too

00:41:54.620 yeah like because it's like people are big on that and they're big on like you know what i

00:42:00.340 want to have on my grave yeah um they're big on that yeah i used to really focused on my grave

00:42:05.220 in elementary school really yeah i feel like i had like big plans for my grave my mom this is

00:42:10.820 actually this is i don't know if you know the story i'll just say this is a big foundational

00:42:14.060 story for me yeah my mom once took me out of school early so i bet she took me out of school

00:42:19.600 early that seems a little dramatic it was something where I should have been in school

00:42:23.580 and she was like we're going somewhere special and I was like oh where are we going and she took me

00:42:27.900 to visit Marilyn Monroe's grave oh wait I think I remember this because this is exactly the kind of

00:42:33.280 romantic LA kind of thing that would come from you and I and would stick with me for ages leaving

00:42:38.580 school to visit I was like too young meaning that I kind of like didn't get like I was kind of like

00:42:43.000 why are we here like not like I see she was kind of doing this fun thing and kind of like look at

00:42:48.480 this because but I was not old enough to like it took you know it was like 10 years later that I

00:42:54.280 realized kind of that that was sort of an interesting yeah like romantic thing to do

00:42:58.340 do you remember this who's buried in Grant's tomb no clue I was like a brain teaser and it

00:43:04.440 was like Grant I hate brain teasers because they don't tease they insult yeah they degrade the

00:43:11.380 answer is Grant because like it was one of these things where the answer is right there you know

00:43:16.360 but you're freaked out by the question who's buried in grant's tomb oh yeah yeah grant that

00:43:23.020 doesn't seem like a teaser to me do you remember that thing about it was like brad toast oh like 0.99

00:43:27.960 oh what do you put in a fuck what do you put in a something or something what do you put in a 1.00

00:43:32.780 something or something what do you put in a toaster toast no bread you asshole 1.00

00:43:39.300 it was like this thing where you get them going on their brain do you remember this 1.00

00:43:44.860 kate what's a goatee like just tell me what a goatee is

00:43:48.100 i'm stumped doc no no this isn't a trick a goatee is yeah just like define a goatee

00:43:55.540 it's a patch of hair underneath the lower lip okay wow i just want to tell the viewer she didn't

00:44:01.440 move her hands the the goatee joke that i guess moved through my community at one point was

00:44:06.540 yes i'm going to define a goatee and they you know rub their chin while they're describing it

00:44:11.380 as if they're stroking their goatee they're like it's one of these and they they do this okay you

00:44:16.700 didn't do it you went hyperverbal more signs that you're okay sorry no no theta broken that one's

00:44:23.680 not a brain teaser okay theta is like how is that a brain teaser it's more like a one of these things

00:44:28.260 like you did it you did the thing that everyone does like that's all it is it's like it's almost

00:44:32.900 like um let's see if someone defines a goatee without using their hands it's just like a little

00:44:38.820 it's like one of these things that i don't even know that's definitely not brain truth that's

00:44:42.420 like schoolyard nothingness like it's like these little things like it almost reminds me of like

00:44:48.120 there was a thing about like how do you look at your nails and it was like oh yeah and i was like

00:44:52.260 that you turn it in like a claw or you spread it out like another claw which way and they're like

00:44:57.700 you're a girl yeah and i always looked at my nails i think they're they're like you look like like 0.96

00:45:02.000 at your nails like a boy yeah and that was a obviously like stupid thing and there was that 0.95

00:45:06.460 thing about your toe your second toe i don't remember that queerness being located in the 0.97

00:45:11.240 in your second toe being longer than your big toe i thought it was an index finger thing well

00:45:15.660 that probably as well i mean all those things what are they those are just those are just people on

00:45:20.820 the playground looking to just talk about that like it's like an entry point yeah it's like i

00:45:26.820 want to talk about sex like sex or like yeah did you want to talk about sex when you were a kid 0.62

00:45:32.580 did i want to talk about sex what here's a question i have because i really was obsessed

00:45:37.080 with sex like always and wanted to talk about it and everything and i'm like is that just kind of

00:45:42.120 is that everyone's experience and just some people talk about it or don't or are some people actually

00:45:45.800 no some people are genuinely like kids don't some kids don't want to talk about sex or make

00:45:50.080 someone comfortable i mean i would assume so an obvious question no i mean i would i would assume

00:45:55.240 so i mean i i think like curiosity is fairly common yeah yeah yeah i mean i remember though

00:46:01.200 But I remember being like I remember this girl like sitting next to me once like with a binder and like she opened it was the Trapper Keeper.

00:46:07.060 And it was like she opened the final lip of the Trapper Keeper and like she had drawn a naked woman in there.

00:46:13.540 And I was like, whoa, I was like shocked.

00:46:15.680 Yeah. Yeah. Amazing.

00:46:17.000 Hidden in the fold of the Trapper Keeper.

00:46:19.100 I was going to say the labial folds.

00:46:20.980 Yeah.

00:46:21.260 Contained yet another fold.

00:46:25.440 Oh, wow.

00:46:26.160 i remember looking at looking up in the dictionary the word sex with like it's like you know seven

00:46:31.260 kids huddled around a dictionary of course looking up the word sex i mean it's very sweet oh you'll

00:46:35.980 love this i i mean i'm setting really setting it up but just i remember in sixth grade science

00:46:40.560 class mr gross i think he was like the day one he hands out the science textbooks and he's like

00:46:46.280 okay everyone turned to page 79 through 83 that's where the anatomy pictures are like get a good

00:46:52.540 look now like you all want to look look now wow you know what i mean like get out of the way

00:46:57.500 instead of like i don't know what people are in the corner yeah like turning to page 79 yeah good

00:47:03.260 for good for doctor for mr gross wait what good for mr gross i'd like an early memory right now

00:47:10.120 from second grade i'm serious can you remember second grade i can't locate the second grade

00:47:15.360 specifically in the timeline okay this is interesting that's huge because we talked

00:47:19.300 about this i can't locate last week oh i have one yeah well i did first grade twice i think

00:47:24.120 so things got a little scrambled you're not sure well because i went to the school where they like

00:47:30.420 weren't really grades it was like you were in like peggy's class you were in kim's class you

00:47:34.600 were in right they like obscured it just as i suspected yeah from your free spirit i remember

00:47:39.360 there was a bathroom that had it was just a room with two toilets no um divider no nothing just

00:47:46.440 two, I swear to God, just two toilets side by side, right? That's disgusting. I'm in shock.

00:47:51.900 It's unacceptable. And I remember opening it and Peggy, my teacher was sitting on one of the

00:47:55.940 toilets. Okay. I have the same story. I have a very similar story. You ready? Okay. So in first

00:48:01.500 grade, my teacher, there was a, there was a bathroom in the class. I guess they didn't want

00:48:05.040 to send first graders down the hall, you know, the bathroom in the classroom. And I remember

00:48:08.820 walking over there and it did have a stall in it, a single stall in it. However, because it was for

00:48:14.280 kindergartners it was a very low door stall yeah yeah cute and so I go in and my teacher

00:48:20.780 was peeing in there and I could see his head like I could see like his head and shoulders

00:48:25.460 okay and so I was like pretty shocked by that like just the existence of you know his piss stream

00:48:32.440 have I talked hearing a piss stream as a child is really hearing it like the sound of one's

00:48:38.220 father's piss stream ew permanent damage well wait permanent damage i probably said it i probably

00:48:47.300 said it are you ready but because it's huge for me about piss stream okay i always associate this 0.86

00:48:53.640 the sound you hear let's say you go into the bathroom picture yourself kate okay you start 0.80

00:48:56.860 pissing you hear the sound in your head my own piss yes guess what okay and you probably know 0.80

00:49:01.760 this but the sound you're hearing is the sound of the piss hitting the water it's not the sound 1.00

00:49:05.180 of the piss coming out of you i know i know that of course i know that okay did you just say i know 0.51

00:49:14.600 that what did you say i know of course i know that yeah but here's what i'm saying here's what 0.97

00:49:19.320 i'm saying okay okay i technically do too and yet i don't because because and here's how i know i

00:49:24.000 don't the first time i pissed in the woods i was shocked by the silence oh my god no it's hitting

00:49:31.320 the the autumn leaves well or not in the case of the woods in the woods it was just hitting earth

00:49:35.940 okay so there was nothing yeah yeah there was nothing the best thing is peeing on the beach

00:49:39.420 i have a complete i was taught this summer i can now it's like i love to like peacock with it i i

00:49:45.680 have an incredible method i can pee on the beach no with people all around you dig a hole you want 0.63

00:49:53.080 to talk about silent pissing okay you dig a hole this works for all genders okay this is huge you 0.76

00:49:59.420 dig a hole and what you do is then you sit with your legs like uh how do I describe this like um 0.84

00:50:04.920 in a wide v no not a wide v both to one side if you can imagine like both of your yeah oh I got

00:50:11.400 it now like a mermaid okay you just position right over where the hole is you let it rip

00:50:16.060 and no one this is huge could ever know what you're doing sometimes I have a phone there as a

00:50:20.500 prop but um they can't see maybe from a certain angle if someone were standing you know right

00:50:25.760 over you they'd be able to see but no one can see you've dug a hole how wide is the diameter of the

00:50:30.980 hole it's small it's like the size of it's like eight maybe two palms it's like maximum it's like

00:50:36.180 two palms two palms okay okay the palm of a hand you mean the lean protein suggestion that's always

00:50:43.660 given about two lean proteins maybe four maybe four like a deck of cards that's a deck of cards

00:50:49.680 for a piece of protein yeah a deck of cards I feel wait okay so you're on your side like a mermaid

00:50:54.560 sort of you sort of see, I think I would it would be more obvious, but I think I would squat.

00:50:59.140 No, no. Once you're squatting, I squat all the time. I squat all the time. And so I would do it

00:51:03.820 like I was just chatting with my friend. OK, they'd have to be really close. Yeah, that would

00:51:07.740 really. And I'd be wrapped. But then your vagina is. I'd be wrapped in a towel for all to see.

00:51:14.040 No, I mean, because you're still you're just pulling your bathing suit aside, right? Yeah.

00:51:17.260 Yeah. No, no, no. I just I know what I would need to do to keep it natural. OK, there would be

00:51:22.320 you would overperform the squat imagine you know it'd be so funny if you did the whole thing where

00:51:27.600 you you know when you're buried up to your neck that little gag which i find terrifying and won't

00:51:31.900 do i was never getting there and then i think we have to say something i was never buried up to my

00:51:36.560 neck in sand yeah and i feel like that really affected me i knew that was what it was about

00:51:41.200 you feel robbed you feel robbed to experience that i feel robbed i didn't get to experience

00:51:45.120 the glee of children burying me in sand i think it's really scary okay because you're immobilizing

00:51:50.580 it's like that syndrome we're talking about it's you're mobilizing the entire body and your head's

00:51:55.440 there on the ground and it's like what if someone came over and stuffed something in your mouth and

00:52:00.000 nose okay you'd die in minutes like like you're just like you're like drownable like you're

00:52:07.220 you're drownable you're killable oh my god imagine if the surf came oh my god when you talk about 0.96

00:52:11.820 this in your act but the vulnerability of the head what's that sound wait Jacqueline we go to 0.98

00:52:17.000 the beach you've been in la we've never gone to the beach together i know and i i remember pick

00:52:21.280 you up for a beach day soon please yes listen how me look how am i whining i know why am i

00:52:26.940 well you do a baby voice to to entreat those you beg to give you what you please and it works

00:52:32.380 when i slip into baby voice i'm so ashamed of baby voice and i once heard i think it was through

00:52:38.080 poog i heard myself doing baby voice off camera and it was like oh yeah the most horrifying i

00:52:42.700 was like i will never do that again like my genitals instantly dropped off my body i was like 0.99

00:52:47.560 well they say not to do it if you want to maintain a kind of sexual you know erotic yeah fuck yeah 0.99

00:52:53.540 i know because everyone runs towards everyone runs it towards it because it feels so great to 0.98

00:52:58.600 just be babies that's what we something like akin to it god i mean the the self-infantilization in

00:53:05.540 my own home you know that i partake in one time in new york i went down the five flights of stairs

00:53:10.540 this was our fifth floor walk up i slipped on the last couple stairs kind of fell my elbow banged

00:53:15.280 in a way that really like hurt me deep in my core and i sat there and i could have gotten up but

00:53:19.960 instead i texted chris i fell from downstairs like i'm downstairs i fell like and i didn't get up like

00:53:29.920 until i got a response i think that's okay i think that's wanting to be witnessed i relate to that

00:53:35.000 deeply i relate to that deeply i'm trying to do that more in my life now is resist doing that

00:53:40.580 as you know yeah i mean yeah yeah yeah wait but what did you oh the beach the beach the beach

00:53:45.580 we're at time but i but i want to take you to the beach i'm really overwhelmed by the urge

00:53:49.700 no i am and you know the ocean is all i care about never gone we are feet we've never been

00:53:55.520 in the ocean together jacqueline is that true yes it's true it's true it's absolutely true okay

00:53:59.500 it's changing nor a lake nor a mountain no we've been on one mountain no body of water okay okay 0.95

00:54:04.920 And then we're also going to talk about blue, fuck, I can't remember what the book's called, 0.73

00:54:09.020 but it's called like blue something, okay? 0.96

00:54:11.340 And it's like the benefits of being in, near, or around water.

00:54:15.460 Oh, I love that.

00:54:16.180 And it'll change everything. 1.00

00:54:17.000 I believe that as a bath person. 1.00

00:54:18.880 Okay.

00:54:19.500 We got to go.

00:54:20.480 I'm going to go eat some ravioli.

00:54:22.320 Okay.

00:54:23.480 That was POOG.

00:54:25.700 If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:54:29.500 If not, we will press charges.

00:54:34.920 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:54:41.820 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:54:45.740 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:54:49.560 No, I am not your guru.

00:54:53.220 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:54:55.520 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:54:58.460 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:55:01.120 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:55:08.360 This is an iHeart Podcast.

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - May 18, 2021

Wetness is Different Than Tenderness

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