Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - When it Sours

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.400 Then she says, have you seen a photo of my son? And I'm like, who is this person?

00:00:09.080 Welcome to the Boys and Girls podcast. Arranged marriage is basically a reality show and you're

00:00:14.500 auditioning for your soulmate. And who's judging? Only your entire family. I sacrificed myself to

00:00:20.940 this ancient tradition, hoping to find love the right way. And instead, I found chaos, comedy,

00:00:26.560 and a lot of cringe.

00:00:28.380 Listen to Boys and Girls

00:00:29.440 starting February 19th

00:00:30.920 on the iHeartRadio app,

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00:00:34.920 When you feel uncomfortable,

00:00:36.840 what do you put on?

00:00:37.880 Biggie.

00:00:38.660 You put on Biggie

00:00:39.240 when you feel uncomfortable?

00:00:40.120 Because I want to get confident.

00:00:41.140 This is DJ Hester Prince's

00:00:42.560 Music is Therapy,

00:00:43.740 a new podcast from me,

00:00:45.520 a DJ and licensed therapist.

00:00:47.840 12 months, 12 areas of your life.

00:00:50.280 Money, love, career, confidence.

00:00:52.560 This isn't just a podcast.

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00:01:00.240 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:01:02.920 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:05.080 This is Ryder Strong,

00:01:06.180 and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:01:08.640 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor,

00:01:11.160 disappeared from a commune.

00:01:12.560 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:01:16.380 No, I am not your guru.

00:01:20.020 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:01:22.320 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:01:24.900 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:01:28.820 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:31.400 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:35.340 You know Roald Dahl.

00:01:36.820 He thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG.

00:01:39.360 But did you know he was a spy?

00:01:41.640 In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roald Dahl,

00:01:44.600 I'll tell you that story and much, much more.

00:01:47.440 What?

00:01:48.360 You probably won't believe it either.

00:01:50.080 Was this before he wrote his stories?

00:01:51.780 It must have been.

00:01:53.060 Okay, I don't think that's true.

00:01:54.900 I'm telling you, I was a spy.

00:01:58.060 Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl

00:02:00.040 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:02:02.740 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:05.060 The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.

00:02:09.040 So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

00:02:13.060 I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.

00:02:15.340 I would just want you to listen to me more often

00:02:17.340 and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:02:22.140 Listening is a form of love.

00:02:24.320 Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:02:30.580 That's SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:02:33.060 Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal.

00:02:36.100 Hi, I'm Kate Verlant.

00:02:37.620 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:02:38.720 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:02:43.440 Two untamable intellects.

00:02:45.220 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:02:46.080 This is our hell.

00:02:46.940 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:02:49.200 This is POOG.

00:02:50.420 Today's topic, loosely speaking, I see water. 1.00

00:02:53.760 Work Boots, Little Woman. 1.00

00:02:59.720 Good morning. 1.00

00:03:01.380 Good morning.

00:03:03.520 Boy, have things changed this morning, haven't they, Kate? 0.96

00:03:06.460 I'm looking at a different woman.

00:03:10.480 She's laughing, she's smiling, she's a happy girl.

00:03:13.460 I look, God, I mean, I don't know what to say other than jet lag, it must be real again.

00:03:21.940 and I say it again and again

00:03:23.760 when will I learn that things are real

00:03:25.240 I mean I knew this

00:03:26.380 I'm not sure actually

00:03:27.980 and I'm not going to put something on it

00:03:29.980 I'm not going to insist on assigning meaning

00:03:32.780 to yesterday's mood

00:03:34.600 but boy

00:03:35.460 let's just tell the listener

00:03:37.320 we were going to record

00:03:38.900 and you simply couldn't emotionally

00:03:41.820 and that's okay

00:03:42.960 by the way you've seen me have like

00:03:45.880 meltdowns around like

00:03:47.220 we're going to record Poog

00:03:48.760 and I can't figure out the chord

00:03:49.920 and I'm like so like so devastated that I fall silent and like I'm like well I can't do it I

00:03:58.360 want to be very clear when I talk about either Kate or myself quote having audio issues okay

00:04:06.720 I want to be very very clear this is not a case of lack of information okay or understanding no

00:04:17.860 now i guess occasionally with kate maybe it is a lack but but what i'll say is

00:04:23.900 we are not hindered by it because we're together and i talk you through so right so so in that way

00:04:32.000 you are also not hindered by it we as a team and it's it's like you know when just it's just brutal

00:04:41.480 when someone wants to troubleshoot for you see it's really satisfying troubleshooting for you

00:04:45.120 because it's often like accurate yeah like can i talk about this morning yeah like so i'm like

00:04:52.620 you know so i'm coming out of kate's macbook speakers instead of through the earphones

00:04:57.880 obviously a hideosity to hear my own voice bouncing through her home and i say you know

00:05:05.640 you start darting about your eyes are darting about the screen you're talking about bluetooth

00:05:10.820 okay and and and i'm like let's just check right yeah your output and i go go to the sound thing

00:05:20.980 at the top of the screen okay you go i don't know how to tell you this there's nothing there

00:05:24.420 and i go top of the browser top of screen your macbook right yeah and you're like i'm looking

00:05:30.960 at the macbook okay we go to the top i'm like there's there's one thing that looks like a

00:05:37.120 little speaker with sound good whatever you're like it's not there it's really strange and I'm

00:05:43.140 like so there's a battery there's whatever you're like I'm like so let's start from the right

00:05:47.580 I'm like there's a clock wait sorry like there's a clock you're like and you're like it's so funny

00:05:53.640 Kate you're like there's a clock there's a date there's Siri like like then like you know what

00:05:59.220 I mean like the big pro like like instantly like rattling off like I can't explain it like

00:06:04.360 you know like cock date siri you're like you're like you're like search it like actually the

00:06:10.760 speed with which the verbal was there like like search wi-fi battery bluetooth battery

00:06:16.180 and i was like you said battery twice okay something's going on here you i sense you're

00:06:24.680 perceiving something and then we found the sound and then we found it and now we're in yeah but

00:06:30.000 but when there's a complexity of issues and and and you let someone know that and they begin to

00:06:35.020 solve for you in my case it's a it's a literal nightmare because it all i hear this is my own

00:06:42.820 you know issue all i hear is them thinking that i don't know something that they know yeah of course

00:06:48.920 yeah yeah yeah i gotta work through that but yeah yesterday so yesterday the audio issues

00:06:56.820 you know which i fight like hell you know you know i solve i troubleshoot i order my own

00:07:05.040 equipment okay i'm seven layers deep on powered hubs you know and whatever and the thing i ordered

00:07:12.260 just wasn't working and it it was well i'm not gonna you know whatever i figured it out doesn't

00:07:19.460 matter it's boring it's fine you're in the point is that we're in and the point is yes it triggered

00:07:26.620 and then i threw my my my uh book my my my draft like a big thick thing of paper i threw it

00:07:34.960 that's incredible what a writer and do the pages go flying do the pages go flying well yes i mean

00:07:43.520 but but also like but in this like unsatisfying way because they didn't billow in the air where

00:07:48.020 the draft oh i'll tell you yeah little wonder boys wonder oh i was gonna say oh wait two things

00:07:55.020 first of all yeah drafts of things in movies um well i just remember and this is why because you

00:08:03.240 know this is so devastating right like i'm hearing this like kids now don't watch movies like they

00:08:07.300 don't have the attention span like young children no longer watch movies they watch youtube clips

00:08:11.020 they want like the kids now watch on youtube like videos of kids like putting on their shoes and

00:08:16.240 going to school like there isn't children do not watch movies anymore unless they have real because 0.58

00:08:21.260 that's that is completely fucking real unless they have an evangelical commitment to to film

00:08:26.440 making them watch movies but that's not what they do it's interesting and it's like catharsis is 0.96

00:08:30.540 real because i remember when i watched little women the winona rider little women i won't

00:08:35.780 recognize any other ones that's not true but anyway and i saw and when joe's draft is in the

00:08:41.460 fire well let's talk about it actually let's talk about it and i mean and winona

00:08:48.360 and i'll just let her fury i'll let the name just yeah stand out there let's let the name air

00:08:54.840 her face when she when she then lunges at amy oh wait yeah amy her and i'm humiliated

00:09:08.200 that i can't remember the exact line okay but she goes at her you something yeah i know because 1.00

00:09:15.000 in my mind i'm like you little bitch but i hate you no she's like she's like i hate you i think 0.99

00:09:19.920 so i'll never forget and then remember this i know i know exactly what you're saying can i guess 1.00

00:09:24.320 no no fuck fuck was that what it was wait wait no it wasn't but i did want to talk about that 1.00

00:09:30.160 because i was gonna say the sort of first of all also also genius performance how old was she 0.99

00:09:38.600 that's when god comes to the child yeah yeah i mean she was and then you know i'm against

00:09:44.220 children acting okay i don't know i mean or even 12 the i mean she she she needs to be talked about

00:09:53.140 a lot because because she's i mean i just want to make sure she's being honored i know i honored 0.60

00:09:59.180 like fucking tom cruise last week or whatever and i stand by you know what i mean yeah she's like 0.79

00:10:04.580 and and then like her her expression and then i'm always irritated at the way like i mean as 0.94

00:10:10.340 you know like like at the character like sort of like the way like meg or or the mother like

00:10:16.280 sort of like protect her you know like from joe almost like like that you know whatever like and

00:10:21.740 she was just like she was mad because she didn't get to like go to the thing whatever ball yeah 0.98

00:10:26.580 yeah and she got you know she she won out in the end didn't she anyway holy shit i'll marry into 0.92

00:10:35.960 the march family any way i can that said laurie okay so so winona's face it's been years immediately

00:10:45.220 okay and there's something on my list that i made note of actually it's about that that particular

00:10:50.920 little women today which is weird really we're gonna yeah really weird and it's coming it's

00:10:55.300 coming so wow you wait i'm not ready to leave you already had something on your list that you

00:11:00.660 wanted to talk about that was that little woman that's that little woman yeah that's Hashem

00:11:06.180 that's crazy okay keep going um okay so the genius of Hashem whatever right is that it's um

00:11:16.680 like I don't know my mother would point this out like in in t although I feel like it's changed in

00:11:22.520 tv and movies when they'd be doing a prayer that normally would you know I guess I shouldn't even

00:11:29.860 do it i'm gonna respect the thing say a t o n a i okay it's sub it in with hashem with hashem yeah

00:11:40.680 yeah i don't know why that the hard h is like i can't i'm like i for some reason sounding weird

00:11:47.000 to me it's like you're saying hashem i don't it's like yeah yeah i guess because i'm subbing it for

00:11:51.420 the a whatever it's wrong i'm humiliated it doesn't matter well honestly in tv shows she's

00:11:57.200 like they wouldn't like you're not supposed to use it in a fake way see what i'm saying yeah so

00:12:04.220 like the like good jews writing the tv show sub in hashem right right it's more real like until 0.55

00:12:14.700 you like see it in a in a scene except now i think they they they don't and i hear it 0.74

00:12:21.760 i hear him saying the name of god okay all right all right i have a um i have a i'm sorry this is

00:12:29.480 something okay this is an anecdote that i almost it's there's no it's almost not worth saying but

00:12:34.980 for some reason i feel like i have to i beg to talk about in fiction reading contemporary fiction

00:12:40.040 that's like buzzy and good and people love it or whatever and something that like pulls you out 0.91

00:12:43.960 i'm reading this current yes novel kind of a contemporary like whatever the fuck name it 0.72

00:12:48.340 i'm not going to name it and i just want to say i'm already irritated by the thing that i've 1.00

00:12:52.300 been talking about of like these like hollowed bodies getting fucked like these women who are 0.96

00:12:57.820 like and it's usually kind of like a hollowed or hallowed i mean or both i guess both i guess i 0.99

00:13:04.220 meant like a frail yeah okay woman who's like not only interested in men you know like getting

00:13:13.060 railed or whatever and it's so and then anyway i'm reading this book i'm like okay it's fine

00:13:17.240 it's like it's like proficient enough or something like okay interesting trying to

00:13:20.520 phrase there you know whatever yeah and then and this little line threw me away and i almost

00:13:25.400 threw the book across the room and i almost said i'm out blah blah blah and then there's a line

00:13:30.020 where it says i was i was kissing a she's describing being a teenager kissing a girl

00:13:36.580 i was kissing a girl from the other side of town blah blah a girl from the other side of town 0.51

00:13:44.000 to me that is what the hell are you talking about by the way i thought it meant kissing 1.00

00:13:51.260 the asshole i thought it meant kissing the anus for a second 1.00

00:13:54.320 i was because you slowed it down so much it was like i was kissing a girl from the other side of 1.00

00:14:07.800 town if you know what i mean oh my god no right other side of the track it's like it's like

00:14:15.240 somebody being like i'm right i'm writing a novel or something a girl from the other side of town

00:14:19.640 by the way this there's something in this book about there's nothing like about that that is

00:14:24.200 illuminated like oh do you know what i'm like it was just this throwaway that's like what year is

00:14:30.300 it what the hell are you talking about by the way everyone unless someone unless someone is from 0.56

00:14:36.420 your town your block you're always kissing someone from the other side of town what are you talking 0.77

00:14:42.040 about i don't know why it irritated me so much no no right i'm terrified now in this moment that

00:14:47.020 the literal writer will somehow know that the clock it no i think okay yeah yeah what are you

00:14:55.720 talking about these like these tropes that we can't escape these like turns of phrase it somehow

00:15:00.360 i know like from i'm thinking about it deeply i'm thinking about it no the reason i'm thinking

00:15:06.340 about it so intensely is is i mean is there any more characterization that like suggests like

00:15:13.480 that she lives from it and it has a different lifestyle blah blah that's what i'm saying

00:15:17.340 there's no kind of like oh well this is kind of talking about you know there's like well there's

00:15:21.040 like a socioeconomic thing at play here because she's kissing against me it's like nothing like

00:15:25.240 that did she possibly mean it literally i mean like with no implication like literally just like

00:15:31.820 girl not on my block yeah no i think that's what it was possible but here's what is irritating

00:15:40.020 this oh you mean in that phrase that somehow that insinuates makes you means you're writing

00:15:46.940 something yeah that what that means you're right it means you're writing yeah yeah exactly like it

00:15:52.740 doesn't yeah yeah exactly no the reason i'm i'm contemplating this deeply versus firing back right

00:15:58.380 is because i'm i'm immediately uh well first panic you know where is that word in the draft that

00:16:04.900 i did pick up off the floor okay where is that phrase yeah however it what it immediately made

00:16:09.640 me aware of that it's interesting because in writing non-fiction okay or memoir or anything

00:16:16.780 of that nature or in conversation right there is value to to constantly referencing tropes almost

00:16:27.520 because we live with them right like i was just thinking about like it's almost like right yeah

00:16:32.360 the way that i was just thinking like because i'm like i know i would feel a need to use that and

00:16:36.880 why and it's not to say i was dating someone from it from from the other side of town or whatever

00:16:43.480 it would be more like it had that feeling you know like like right right right like referencing

00:16:50.780 the town yeah yeah like we do that all the time this was not that this was embedded in

00:16:57.300 this was not that anyway no you know it's i mean you know it's brutal like like i got i mean me and

00:17:04.520 me and chris get really embarrassed with each other when we do um honestly okay like just like

00:17:10.300 like it covers it like honestly you know and it's like yeah because we're like like sorry like

00:17:16.480 like almost like what are we really say honestly or like or like at the end of the day like you 0.94

00:17:21.380 know what i mean like when you say this shit like and it or like what's a big one i've been hearing 0.96

00:17:25.240 on tv when i was watching unsolved mystery comforting though is what no no yeah i mean 0.98

00:17:31.160 they're they do they're they're useful it's just like well i'm watching unsolved mysteries right

00:17:36.300 now then there's three or eight new episodes i can't remember but but and so it's you know you

00:17:43.420 know it's huge about unsolved mysteries so people recounting these things in their life you know

00:17:47.400 when their sister went missing whatever brutal shit that that they've possibly or you know

00:17:52.000 murder whatever you know they've they've had this conversation 1000 times right in different 0.97

00:17:57.380 settings whether i mean just whether it's that night where they finally tell the new relationship

00:18:02.600 about when their sister was murdered okay or just endless the family the cycling of these things

00:18:09.280 and there are these moments where you're like you're like they've said that one a lot

00:18:13.340 okay and there's nothing wrong with it right like it's not even like like there's something about it 0.99

00:18:20.200 with unsolved mysteries in particular because it'll be shit like this it's like this shit 0.99

00:18:23.300 they've worked and worked and worked right in their head they're like they're like i walked 0.99

00:18:28.040 the distance from her house at the train tracks i was in work boots and i couldn't do it and

00:18:34.360 you're telling me she did it barefoot yeah okay so it's like the amount of times like he's been

00:18:39.800 like i was in work boots or something okay there's no real turn of phrase by the way i walked the

00:18:45.640 distance is one of the most incredible in anything i walked it it's not even the day they headed out

00:18:54.700 to do the test you know i'm saying like i'm getting a flash yeah it's like what what movie

00:19:00.080 because it's like every movie with murder where it's like i walked it it's 50 feet can't be done

00:19:05.920 it's like that's how close there was like or like oh like i walk that path every morning kind of

00:19:12.420 thing no i meant when it's like this person lived here and they're murdered by this person

00:19:16.620 oh i think it's from zodiac it's like i walked it i mean zodiac i can't believe if we're not

00:19:21.140 talking about zodiac well well here's something i want to say about zodiac top shelf that's on

00:19:26.060 the top top shelf and we are by the way going to revisit the earlier part of this conversation in

00:19:31.400 the second half because there's a lot of stuff and we can utilize the notation because i actually

00:19:35.840 like we will return to little woman women i'm not done okay yeah okay so i'm so excited that i can't

00:19:45.000 leave where we are right now so where are we just saying oh yeah here's one thing i'll say about

00:19:51.440 zodiac i know you brought it up okay but imagine this you're in a hotel room okay you you go

00:19:58.420 this is like not that long after it came out but like you're like so it's like even more exciting

00:20:03.060 you're like oh my god they have zodiac i'm gonna watch it okay you watch the whole film okay okay

00:20:09.600 you get to the end where it goes black and words appear on the screen literally telling you what

00:20:16.260 happened okay absolutely essential information it's a donovan song playing over the credits

00:20:24.840 i recall yeah can't and by the way read what it says because the font's too small that does feel

00:20:34.020 familiar

00:20:34.540 straining

00:20:38.580 it was like

00:20:39.140 straining and

00:20:40.480 and I have

00:20:41.120 you know

00:20:41.420 perfect eyesight

00:20:42.440 always have

00:20:43.440 yeah

00:20:44.300 always have

00:20:46.000 by the way

00:20:46.640 it is always

00:20:47.340 have like

00:20:47.820 versus you know

00:20:48.760 those kids

00:20:50.060 born with

00:20:50.760 20 to 70

00:20:52.060 that just slowly

00:20:52.860 improve

00:20:53.340 adding always

00:20:55.520 have

00:20:55.900 is so rude

00:20:57.600 always have

00:20:58.180 but wait

00:20:58.680 that is very

00:20:59.940 familiar and I'm

00:21:00.620 just gonna

00:21:01.040 move off this

00:21:02.820 but I'll just

00:21:03.740 want to say that robert johnny jr's performance in zodiac is absolutely masterful and and um

00:21:09.360 robert johnny jr i've never seen him as a superhero i know that's what he is now i think

00:21:13.820 is he still the highest paid actor like on earth or whatever it's crazy i'll say is i hope he was

00:21:18.740 because he was i hope so because you could have ended that sentence after robert johnny jr's

00:21:24.660 performance in and then you could have cut out and said no and then you could have cut sorry i'm

00:21:30.460 they could have cut out and said

00:21:35.400 greatest thing I've ever you know greatest performance

00:21:37.480 ever and you'd be right

00:21:38.760 it's home for the holiday season

00:21:41.640 officially

00:21:42.240 oh it's home for the holiday season which I haven't seen in

00:21:45.440 20 years

00:21:46.860 I urge you to rewatch immediately

00:21:49.100 it is one of our finest

00:21:50.740 I have strong associations

00:21:51.840 Holly Hunter everyone

00:21:53.480 and Robert Downey Jr.

00:21:56.740 is electric

00:21:57.660 I think people say he was on like 0.99

00:22:00.340 black tar or hairy heroin at the time but like something was going on but fuck well here's the 0.98

00:22:07.520 thing i don't you know i don't know the the oscillations you know of his personal life okay 0.97

00:22:13.200 no do i and health no right right i don't and yet a performance has never not been good so

00:22:21.780 therefore you know any of that stuff is irrelevant because his performance has never not been good

00:22:29.520 God bless her.

00:22:29.900 So isn't that nice?

00:22:30.520 It's only the thing.

00:22:31.740 Yeah, completely.

00:22:32.840 No, no.

00:22:33.340 The consistency with which.

00:22:42.160 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:22:46.220 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:22:51.520 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:22:55.360 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:22:56.540 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:23:00.340 No, I am not your guru.

00:23:04.100 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:23:06.720 I lied to police.

00:23:08.000 I lied to everybody.

00:23:09.000 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:23:11.960 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:23:14.640 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:23:17.460 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:23:20.800 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:23:23.720 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:23:25.120 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:23:28.320 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:23:31.340 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:23:32.680 This is The Red Weather.

00:23:35.620 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:23:43.400 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, from The Girlfriends,

00:23:46.460 the number one hit true crime show that puts women right in the center of their own stories.

00:23:53.240 I'm back with more one-off interviews 0.97

00:23:55.360 with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriend's Spotlight. 1.00

00:24:00.260 I want to introduce you to Sylvia. 0.97

00:24:02.780 I'm going to climb this.

00:24:05.140 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:24:07.280 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:24:11.380 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:24:13.860 Is badness hereditary?

00:24:15.880 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:24:17.700 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:24:20.640 she wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:24:23.780 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:24:25.500 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:24:28.540 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:24:29.940 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:24:32.900 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, 1.00

00:24:36.320 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:24:43.200 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:24:47.220 Welcome to Boys and Girls,

00:24:48.600 The podcast where dating isn't dating, it's a full-on love triathlon.

00:24:53.660 A morning what-if, an evening maybe, and a 3pm chai with a could-this-please-be-the-one.

00:25:00.540 Because in the arranged marriage universe, you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:25:04.660 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:25:08.320 And the wild part? You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:25:11.640 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:25:15.340 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:25:17.660 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition, hoping to find love the correct way. 1.00

00:25:26.140 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage, 1.00

00:25:32.300 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve. 0.94

00:25:36.640 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:25:43.680 When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on?

00:25:46.640 Biggie.

00:25:47.460 You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable?

00:25:48.880 Because I want to get confident.

00:25:50.060 This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy,

00:25:52.520 a new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist

00:25:56.120 that asks one simple question.

00:25:58.820 Who do you want to be?

00:26:00.100 And what's the song that can take you there?

00:26:02.260 Music changes what you feel.

00:26:04.080 And what you feel changes what you do, right?

00:26:06.440 That moment where a song shifts something inside you,

00:26:09.480 that's where transformation starts.

00:26:11.400 This year, I'm talking to experts across every area of life,

00:26:14.860 Like personal finance icon Gene Chatzky, New York Times journalist David Gellis,

00:26:19.820 relationship legend Dan Savage, human connection teacher Mark Groves,

00:26:24.260 and the man who shaped my ear more than anyone, Questlove.

00:26:27.520 They'll bring the strategies.

00:26:28.800 I'll pair them with the right records and will teach you how to use the music to make change stick.

00:26:33.540 This isn't just a podcast.

00:26:35.000 It's unconventional therapy for your entire year.

00:26:37.960 Listen to DJ Hester-Krin's Music is Therapy on the iHeartRadio app,

00:26:41.420 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:26:44.860 Talking to your kids about the dangers of vaping can be hard.

00:26:47.640 Getting them to listen to hot gossip is easy.

00:26:50.120 So here's some drama you could share with your kid.

00:26:54.120 Dude, did you hear about Cassie and Jake?

00:26:56.680 No, but did you hear that vaping can cause irreversible lung damage and nicotine affects brain development?

00:27:02.480 Nuh-uh.

00:27:04.380 You don't need to gossip if you want to have an open conversation about vaping.

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00:27:12.400 Brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council.

00:27:14.860 i want to go into um and by the way cut me off whatever i have a couple things to say here

00:27:26.580 first of all i was yesterday so high on matcha that i because i've been talking i think last

00:27:36.260 episode i was saying i'm back on matcha all my life to be coffee in the morning and you want

00:27:39.740 switch to matcha

00:27:40.720 after one cut

00:27:41.380 I'll take some too

00:27:42.560 I hope that's always clear

00:27:43.600 that if I don't pipe in

00:27:44.660 when Kate says

00:27:45.080 she wants something

00:27:45.740 it doesn't mean

00:27:46.120 I don't want it

00:27:46.740 we won't with the other person

00:27:47.800 yeah

00:27:48.220 always start there

00:27:50.960 I got a matcha

00:27:52.760 at a restaurant

00:27:53.280 and then about

00:27:54.240 two hours later

00:27:55.900 I was with a friend

00:27:56.940 there's another matcha

00:27:58.220 I wanted to try out 0.99

00:27:58.820 oh Jesus

00:27:59.340 another friend 1.00

00:28:00.100 let's fucking do it 1.00

00:28:00.760 I went on tap 1.00

00:28:02.820 this matcha

00:28:03.500 it was unbelievable

00:28:05.000 it was delicious

00:28:05.540 I was

00:28:06.580 I came home

00:28:07.600 I started

00:28:09.560 cleaning through drawers i what i paid two online bills that i've been avoiding since 1902 because

00:28:15.640 i couldn't figure out the login did you have to do a login i emailed i've been getting this i've

00:28:21.120 been getting this bill for like a year that i just ignore i throw it away every time it comes

00:28:25.200 and i go when it says collections agent like on it then i'll maybe open it but i've been like no

00:28:31.280 nope i see it every time nope not dealing with it can't figure it out can't figure it out it's

00:28:35.500 not even like it's for such a high amount of money it's just like you can't figure it out 0.90

00:28:38.340 i fucking open the bill i look at it go okay we're gonna do this today i email the company 0.85

00:28:43.920 going like help me or whatever i did this stuff i could not believe it i'm filing i'm sorting 0.98

00:28:49.660 and then i sit down and i start reading a book what and i go i literally close the book i put

00:28:56.380 it down i stare into the i stare into the wall and i go i feel like i'm on adderall but it's

00:29:02.520 better it's different so i texted a friend damn um who i know has add we've talked about it she

00:29:10.680 talks about matcha i was like sorry sorry sorry is matcha the answer and she was like yes so it's

00:29:16.920 time release she started bringing down the science for me she goes like people with add like because

00:29:21.960 i was prescribed adderall for years yeah and it's like me as well so like it's most terrifying drug

00:29:27.520 on earth and like she was like no it is matcha and I and I was like well I lost half my tongue

00:29:32.920 on Adderall it's all right I mean you know just like sucking it through my teeth oh my god well

00:29:38.940 I was anyway and I may return to be clear I may return to it I don't need my tongue

00:29:43.600 all right I was so high sitting on the couch all of a sudden my top lip starts spasming in this way

00:29:51.000 I was about to go to dinner with another friend and my top lip starts spasming I go okay so one

00:29:57.060 of my greatest fears is build palsy or anything with the face that like where it switches off

00:30:00.880 it sounds like you're the opposite of of palsy though right right right so then i start going

00:30:07.140 huh i google i film it on my phone i have footage of my lip twitching spasming it was really weird

00:30:12.720 i google instantly too much caffeine yeah that's like a side effect i was yeah zooted on margarita

00:30:20.860 okay and i went to dinner i went i need two margaritas now just to i need a downer to level

00:30:26.300 me out and then i was fine went to bed i will say woke up at 1 a.m so you went to lunch with a 0.98

00:30:31.580 friend and dinner with a different friend yeah you are scum okay okay now i know you always want to 0.97

00:30:39.540 lock me in but it's just you know just one on a schedule of i guess what is that 14 a week no 0.98

00:30:45.520 i um just no it's true i'm i'm here now i'm looking for something because i'm connecting

00:30:52.780 with friends that i know that's totally fine i just wait but hold on because there's one thing

00:30:58.480 oh password recollections if a note could be made i want to revisit that at some point i was

00:31:04.800 trying to to break in we'll get to that at the end about what fine i'll do it now i just was

00:31:10.860 thinking about about you know password uh you know you with the bills and having to reset

00:31:19.160 oh my god and you know 0.93

00:31:24.140 some websites fucking get it and some don't but but and i i dare you to tell me you know that some 0.97

00:31:32.740 app that's going to manage my passwords it's never i've done it i've done i've downloaded 0.96

00:31:37.760 one password and the whole thing it seems like a new lifestyle it's not okay it's like it's not

00:31:43.800 and and the other thing doesn't work is when like safari or whatever wants to generate a really

00:31:48.980 strong password for you okay and you click yes and then it's gone instantly and you don't know

00:31:54.340 where it is and then it auto fills and then it okay so so and then it's only in half your 0.97

00:31:59.060 browsers absolute hell it's all hell the only way is to have a goddamn file regenerate your own 0.77

00:32:07.200 strong passwords and you input them and you have somewhere to go back to the auto save 0.97

00:32:13.000 the do you feel sickness in your stomach when it auto fills and you hit sign in and you're

00:32:20.060 wondering whether the auto fill was correct okay it makes me sick oh sure okay and then and then

00:32:25.680 then there's the color red appears the color red of the font saying you know that's not it

00:32:33.300 And by the way, Resi has a problem.

00:32:38.120 The Resi, because I use Resi, OpenTable, these things.

00:32:41.460 Resi, I need two-factor authentication.

00:32:45.440 I need a two-factor authentication.

00:32:48.560 Help me with the word.

00:32:49.480 Help me.

00:32:49.840 I'm drowning.

00:32:50.140 You got it.

00:32:50.800 Authentication.

00:32:52.300 Jesus.

00:32:53.560 Well, I think I need two-

00:32:54.620 Authentify makes a lot of sense.

00:32:56.060 So, authentication makes plenty of sense.

00:32:58.660 I need two-factor to make a 7 p.m. reservation with a friend.

00:33:03.020 That you were just, it was a natural proclivity for grammar that you just presented.

00:33:09.740 I want it to be clear.

00:33:10.560 Do you understand?

00:33:11.140 Okay, thank you.

00:33:11.460 Grammar is embedded where you're actually sort of creating your own, it's nothing to apologize for.

00:33:17.040 Anyway, I, every time, and it's, and I've almost withheld, by the way, it's not even business.

00:33:22.840 I'm not paying them.

00:33:23.780 Like, what's the, you know, but someone is, you, I need to read, I need, you're going to text me the code every, I mean, it's, anyway.

00:33:30.840 The only thing I will say that's come around that I appreciate is now when an authentication password is texted to you, a code, and you're in whatever app.

00:33:42.360 It comes up.

00:33:43.040 It pops up, says, would you like to add this?

00:33:45.020 And I go, thank you for doing something that helps for once.

00:33:49.960 Okay, that's one.

00:33:51.000 But the thing I want to talk about that I find completely unacceptable, and I'm in a loop with a couple companies with this.

00:33:56.960 Okay.

00:33:57.220 The ones that won't, and I'm not going to name them, okay?

00:34:00.200 okay for a few reasons we'll talk about offline all right but the ones that don't send it

00:34:07.300 immediately when you when you try to reset a password it's coming in a few minutes

00:34:12.100 we don't have a few minutes yeah not only do i not have a few minutes i'm talking about ones

00:34:16.420 that don't come for 45 okay where is it what do you mean oh like if someone's file someone has

00:34:23.400 like a log and they're like a physical office doing that no i think it's i think it's i think

00:34:29.700 it's added as a form of security okay to slow down the bots i don't know okay but by the time

00:34:39.640 that that thing comes through i've forgotten yeah and then i i i go and i go to i go to uh

00:34:47.600 to do the the thing i go to sign into the website again having forgotten the whole thing

00:34:51.700 same scenario i hit reset password are you ready for what it says but there's a reset password

00:34:56.940 thing already in action right now and then i go revisit the old thing that came in two days ago

00:35:04.080 click on that and it it it's amazing that we can do i'm sorry i'm sorry to get through the day

00:35:11.080 no but things like that it's amazing like when i did so again the last few days i've been i've

00:35:17.660 had this like shocking energy um and then the ability to like do some organization get rid of

00:35:22.620 things like you know donation boxes of just i've been able to do stuff yeah somehow it just happens

00:35:28.440 there's something there's something going on not pre-menstrual i did but there can there can be a

00:35:34.240 cleaning up energy before pre-menstrual literally i am pre-menstrual okay it's it has to be more

00:35:41.900 than that because so i'm pre-menstrual all the time you know i'm not cleaning this is i feel

00:35:46.100 like this is something else you mean once a month here but there was a little bill back to bills

00:35:49.720 was a physical bill that came in the mail something with the city where i had to pay like

00:35:52.800 30 and like log on to this thing and i did it and i was like l-a-c-w-p yeah it was something like

00:35:59.380 that and it was like how do we manage to get through the day how do we manage how it is so

00:36:09.840 those kinds of tasks crush me for years and you're not alone okay it's just i don't know

00:36:18.240 really not alone so there's an issue i know there's a hole in the marketplace there i say

00:36:24.000 okay to fill yeah i mean there's there's these form people ah

00:36:31.060 and you hire someone you just forward you just forward it that's just like what

00:36:39.420 you know what i hate what i hate filling out an intake form at any sort of spa service and i know

00:36:50.040 and i'll say it's like do you have a heart murmur i'm like how about we just get the facial done

00:36:53.860 sweetie how about you just turn on the machine and let's go okay and like and like i every time

00:37:01.480 i hate writing my address okay the whole thing where i have a fantasy of and i wonder if it

00:37:06.900 would fly okay which is i'm going to i'm going to get stickers that have my address and basic

00:37:13.120 information i'm going to have them in my purse i don't have a purse but nonetheless okay smack down

00:37:18.760 it goes smack down it goes onto the form whenever i think they'd love it i mean it would cover a lot

00:37:27.280 of things like i could i could sort of figure out like all right what's all the information they ever

00:37:31.160 ask for dump it down there and i go if you really need more than this then yeah you know then then

00:37:37.540 then come back at me isn't that a thrill it is a thrill i mean i don't go to that many points

00:37:43.280 appointments i guess but every time i'm there i think this is something i'm gonna do

00:37:47.660 appointments now you're making me realize i'm like i still maybe maybe this is the maybe today's the

00:37:52.500 day or no it's saturday maybe soon's the day where i get some kind of i still want the functional 0.66

00:37:58.240 doctor with the to do the full blood shit panel okay but did i'm not i know but didn't you get

00:38:05.640 your viome kit i did love you but i just mean i want like a doctor who's like looking at my blood 0.97

00:38:10.660 you know sure but but i do but the microbiome is a key factor so shit on that thing now okay i'm 0.97

00:38:19.220 waiting just to tell the listener we did request and receive from viome these like shit kits have 0.97

00:38:24.820 you done yours yet and but to be clear it's also blood and saliva that's the only reason i was 0.97

00:38:30.020 saying that blood saliva and shit and it's the full body intelligence test okay so you're learning

00:38:36.140 microbiome of the mouth you're getting information from your blood okay there's a lot to it it's the 0.99

00:38:43.820 full body intelligence test so it's a big deal and you know they do a nice job with how they talk 0.95

00:38:49.580 about collecting um did you do it the shit no i haven't done it yet um because it's all got to be 0.96

00:38:56.380 like well the two things have to be first in the morning and like the the blood and saliva and i 0.99

00:39:04.180 don't know it just hasn't happened yet okay yeah but um you gotta do it before you eat or drink

00:39:11.040 anything and you know whatever so i thought they did a nice job with you know because i mean it 0.85

00:39:19.880 immediately raised his eyebrow you know chris was like i think it's illegal to send shit in the mail 0.91

00:39:23.360 you know what i mean like and it's like it's not you know it's a very small sample okay of course 0.93

00:39:31.140 but it's it's kind of funny to like have they how they have you you know do the collection

00:39:36.060 obviously like my thought would just be like sticks there's a small scooper i'm like why not

00:39:41.200 just pop that pop that in there and just drag something out you know when needed okay instead

00:39:48.980 it's a whole it's like a piece of paper that that attaches to your toilet seat like stickers on each

00:39:55.720 side okay okay you go in it okay i don't like i don't like that word p-o-o-p okay i'm really not

00:40:03.480 just saying it i find it unattractive great okay everyone has and the way everyone has embraced it

00:40:09.820 by the way like the way like websites have embraced it well when adults embrace it in this

00:40:14.520 way that's exactly what i'm referring to it's really like they're really into being like

00:40:21.060 and even like and i get it yeah they're like mom's not home we can finally be naughty talk about 0.98

00:40:29.160 caca like all of the i wish i mean i wish the companies just went with shit okay but they go 0.97

00:40:37.020 when they go with pop okay which i find disgusting okay they try it's so condescending it's it's and 0.94

00:40:43.920 there's there's a certain culture and i understand why probably a lot of parents opt to say there's

00:40:49.700 this sort of it's been it's been kind of it's okay i believe it started in the sort of granola

00:40:57.580 uh sort of 90s term but camper thing like there was this thing on this camping trip that was like

00:41:06.520 so oh no it was called a schmoo shovel actually so they didn't they didn't call it poop but it

00:41:11.180 was all just very like i don't even like frankly when the when the vets say it yeah yeah i don't 0.99

00:41:18.820 know what i prefer oh i know what i prefer you ready what stool i prefer yeah okay it's fucking 0.97

00:41:26.400 medical one time one time though one vet tech said defecate and i thought that was a bit much 0.98

00:41:31.840 it was like almost vile like i don't know like it's something but yeah like they're like there's

00:41:38.380 something about just being like yeah so just like chuck their okay i hate that i did it i asked that

00:41:43.560 be beeped out okay okay i hated it all right so anyway there's a piece of paper you know you you

00:41:52.120 defecate on it i guess now it's it's holding this there and then there's a little tiny tiny

00:41:57.380 tiny scoop tiny the size of a literal p okay i mean they say and they say don't they say i think

00:42:05.580 i don't know if they said level scoop but they said please not heaping please god yeah yeah

00:42:13.680 there's people that are like well more is more i guess right yeah and imagine the people because

00:42:18.460 Well, that's when you learn when you pee at the doctor into the cup, which, by the way, I used to have so much anxiety and like inability to pee in the cup at the doctor's office.

00:42:29.420 You know, I'd have to be there for like an hour.

00:42:30.720 Have I told you about this?

00:42:31.660 I was like, well, have I told you about?

00:42:34.200 I would have to hang up by the water cooler, drink so much water, chatting with the nurses for 45 minutes.

00:42:38.740 I just can't do it.

00:42:40.000 And by the way, I was catheterized as a child because of this.

00:42:46.120 Oh, OK.

00:42:48.460 i talk about it in my book okay but it's i mean the other one okay but it's like yeah yeah and

00:42:53.140 and you know it's it was an it was a it is insane okay that i should not have been catheterized

00:42:59.480 okay it was a fulfillment of you know it was a cycle of anxiety and and and this sort of came

00:43:08.720 up when i said to my mom some years ago i you know because i would have this memory and then

00:43:13.480 forget about the memory and go i wonder what that was and then like forget for three years

00:43:17.640 that would come up again and it was literally like the memory was like me in a dark room on

00:43:22.160 my back on a table okay harsh light above terrible and women like women in uniform like around me 0.99

00:43:29.220 i already this is how i was like experienced the memory is quote doing something with my vagina 1.00

00:43:34.820 i know no this is like root trauma shit this fucks people but yeah so i would have trouble 0.99

00:43:41.480 peeing at the thing and then from years after in the medical capacity adults exhibiting anxiety 0.99

00:43:46.920 and fear around your genitalia fucks you some people i mean that will rock your world and then 0.82

00:43:53.500 you wake up at 42 and you go why can't i why am i completely yeah separate from my my own thing 1.00

00:44:02.040 why am i dead from the waist down

00:44:04.360 i mean what did you say what was the word you said thingy

00:44:09.680 i thought you said the thing yeah which i thought was like disgusting but sort of like similar to

00:44:17.680 the yeah yeah i had something else coming through no i'm so sorry but i was so excited to break in

00:44:24.500 with the level to which i related but then from then on when i would go to my yearly physical

00:44:29.280 it was understood that i you know jack one just takes the jackie just takes the cup home

00:44:33.400 okay jackie takes the cup home we bring it later whatever because by the way and i just want to 0.96

00:44:38.820 say people you see these fools filling the cup to the brim oh you see them in the double entry 0.97

00:44:45.460 cabinet by the way let's talk about the double entry cabinet for a second yeah okay so right 0.98

00:44:50.280 some doctor's offices there's a cabinet right there's such a shelf and then i mean that is

00:44:56.860 when you just see the line of piss you open it up you place your thing and you close it

00:45:02.160 and then they on the other side open it up to grab it now you got to be careful though

00:45:05.900 because if you open that up and someone's peering in yeah and your pants something's not right it

00:45:12.240 should it should only allow a one one one way open and also are you serious you're seeing piss

00:45:16.980 because because that seems like a security problem you could switch out the labels so to speak or or 0.90

00:45:23.760 like you know you take your piss you bring you bring a cup fresh cup you take your piss you pour 0.63

00:45:28.820 it out into a thing pour them theirs into a second thing you rinse the tube well you clean them well 0.82

00:45:33.900 you rinse them well you could sub your pee for someone else's if you i don't know what your goal 0.96

00:45:38.400 would be there of course something of course oh no you get a you like you fill yourself with drugs 1.00

00:45:43.600 and then ruin someone else all this talk of piss and shit i gotta take a break folks i do have to 1.00

00:45:52.700 You're really bad. 0.99

00:45:54.240 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:46:06.780 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:46:12.180 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:46:16.000 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:46:17.340 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:46:20.600 so no i am not your guru and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody

00:46:29.420 there were years right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in

00:46:34.300 northern california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try

00:46:39.400 to find out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies

00:46:43.900 in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you 0.99

00:46:49.680 sons of bitches come around here and my wife boom boom this is the red weather 1.00

00:46:54.680 listen to the red weather on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts 1.00

00:47:01.580 hello it's me anna sinfield from the girlfriends the number one hit true crime show that puts

00:47:10.300 women right in the center of their own stories i'm back with more one-off interviews with some

00:47:16.660 truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriend's Spotlight. 1.00

00:47:20.980 I want to introduce you to Sylvia. 0.99

00:47:23.420 I'm going to climb this.

00:47:25.820 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:47:27.920 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:47:32.020 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:47:34.500 Is badness hereditary?

00:47:36.520 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:47:38.640 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:47:41.480 she wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:47:44.400 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:47:46.000 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:47:49.180 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:47:50.580 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:47:53.480 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, 1.00

00:47:56.940 Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:48:03.820 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:48:07.840 Welcome to Boys and Girls, the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:48:11.440 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:48:13.540 A morning what if, an evening maybe, and a 3pm chai with a could this please be the one.

00:48:21.180 Because in the arranged marriage universe, you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:48:25.340 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:48:28.940 And the wild part? You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:48:32.300 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:48:35.980 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:48:38.300 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition, hoping to find love the correct way. 1.00

00:48:46.780 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage, 1.00

00:48:52.940 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve. 0.94

00:48:57.220 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:49:04.320 When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on?

00:49:07.280 Biggie.

00:49:07.620 You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable?

00:49:09.560 Because I want to get confident.

00:49:10.760 This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy,

00:49:13.360 a new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist

00:49:16.760 that asks one simple question.

00:49:19.460 Who do you want to be?

00:49:20.640 And what's the song that can take you there?

00:49:22.900 Music changes what you feel.

00:49:24.700 And what you feel changes what you do, right?

00:49:27.160 That moment where a song shifts something inside you,

00:49:30.120 that's where transformation starts.

00:49:32.040 This year, I'm talking to experts across every area of life,

00:49:35.500 Like personal finance icon Gene Chatzky, New York Times journalist David Gellis,

00:49:40.440 relationship legend Dan Savage, human connection teacher Mark Groves,

00:49:44.880 and the man who shaped my ear more than anyone, Questlove.

00:49:48.140 They'll bring the strategies.

00:49:49.440 I'll pair them with the right records and we'll teach you how to use the music to make change stick.

00:49:54.140 This isn't just a podcast.

00:49:55.640 It's unconventional therapy for your entire year.

00:49:58.600 Listen to DJ Hesterprin's Music is Therapy on the iHeartRadio app,

00:50:02.260 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:50:05.920 14 years in prison for killing a young woman.

00:50:09.240 A 15-year sentence for a crash that caused three deaths.

00:50:13.240 Twelve and a half years for killing a child and critically injuring her mother. 1.00

00:50:18.240 All true stories.

00:50:19.880 All caused by marijuana-impaired drivers.

00:50:23.080 No matter what you tell yourself, if you feel different, you drive different.

00:50:28.540 So, if you're high, just don't drive.

00:50:32.660 Brought to you by NHTSA and the Ad Council.

00:50:35.500 oh i've added something to the regimen big time i've i'm a glucose goddess convert like many

00:50:48.120 okay what if you're interested in glucose management as i am the glucose goddess in

00:50:55.260 her book the glucose revolution um it's it's good and i like her style because

00:51:02.200 in all of her presentations of all of her stuff eat salad you know before you eat your proteins

00:51:07.480 you're in it's always it's no but it's always like if you feel like it she just says if you

00:51:12.800 feel like it like at the end of everything and i appreciate that but but the big like

00:51:17.100 the big new thing i'm excited about is um because it has other benefits too

00:51:21.320 tablespoon of apple cider vinegar before a meal okay okay or before are you ready for this

00:51:30.480 so and i'll send you to me never doing it but before before after okay before that might do

00:51:37.140 other things okay before so or literally before an ice cream cone sure some people only do it

00:51:44.280 before sweets so it wildly lowers the glucose spike reaction okay so the whole thing is that

00:51:52.840 non-diabetics like they used to think only diabetics had these big uh and you know by the

00:51:58.540 way summer i'm summarizing paraphrasing no one thinks we're doctors but you know um except us 0.91

00:52:04.240 yeah um we all have spikes and they're fucking all of us they're cooking us from the inside 0.81

00:52:13.900 glycation we're aging okay every single thing you know you know it's it was glucose the whole time 0.79

00:52:20.100 basically okay right right right right so every spike is is inflammation every spike whatever

00:52:24.300 so and for me mood uh okay it's a big one so baby so if you that so she just she just keeps

00:52:35.160 posting these charts of of the glucose of the blood sugar stability and whether it spikes and

00:52:40.680 if you have apple cider vinegar tablespoon like before your ice cream cone literally like you

00:52:47.440 might stay completely in a stable range no crash people's migraines are disappearing people's 0.55

00:52:54.040 they're improving okay it's like apple cider before you're less likely to bitch at your

00:52:59.380 partner that's like literally one of the one of the uh like studies oh i need that they did a

00:53:04.700 thing they did they did a thing they did a study where where um it was like you know after the

00:53:10.700 glucose spike versus you know without it or whatever or they had the people eat the thing

00:53:14.560 with the protein versus not with the protein whatever and like and and like in each one you

00:53:18.440 got to play a game after where you could choose to punish someone or not and the the people that

00:53:23.760 had the glucose spike like all like chose to punish imagine being in the study though also

00:53:31.400 like in like yeah and being like yeah let's be a little scared like i mean you never know what

00:53:37.420 they're studying i guess you know if the study's good but i understand i mean i think yeah so

00:53:44.420 anyway i'm really i'm excited about that haven't had lemon water in three months i was i was

00:53:48.780 wondering i haven't done i haven't done lemon drink rather in months i actually forgive me if

00:53:54.100 i said this in the last episode but i asked me to beg for i have a couple holiday uh wishlist

00:53:57.800 items to start bringing up i want a juicer i want a juicer juicer i want a juicer why when juicers 1.00

00:54:06.300 take all the fiber out and destroy everything you're doing how dare you bitch i know no yeah 0.99

00:54:15.420 you're screaming no no juice is is trash no no listen listen i actually am not a huge juice 0.99

00:54:23.000 person yeah like i don't like juice cleanses all that i don't i in no way support smoothie cleanse

00:54:28.400 if you if you're gonna go if you're gonna go that route broth let's go but listen no jacqueline

00:54:35.040 listen let me guess what you're saying because what all right go on i'm talking about here's

00:54:40.640 the kind of juice i would love to make my face yeah i'd love to throw celery in there lemon

00:54:46.120 parsley cilantro lime maybe half a green apple funny when the pith contains all the nutrients

00:54:54.740 no

00:54:57.860 juicers juicers are in the green welcome to the biggest lie of 1998 okay i love this

00:55:09.080 i love this okay i know i know no no i know i'll do some more research okay but there's a reason

00:55:16.440 i don't know i think that the green no with the green okay i'm talking about greens i'm not

00:55:23.000 talking about juicing i'm not juicing a strawberry or whatever no i mean or no but still okay

00:55:29.360 i just um i know what you mean about the fiber but books about well i'm sorry to bring it back

00:55:37.000 to glucose but you know for at least a few episodes this podcast might as well be called

00:55:42.520 sorry to bring it back to glucose because i'm hooked right yeah okay but the fiber keeps it

00:55:49.120 from being a glucose spike i mean that's why nature had us eating the fruit nature didn't

00:55:55.940 have a juicer trees didn't fall on on 200 berries and instantly juice them and stick them in your

00:56:06.020 veins but there has to be something about you can absorb the nutrients from say kale right herbs

00:56:15.780 right no i do i think that i think the claim by the juice people is that it's low uh effort 0.99

00:56:24.700 on the digestive system right ding dong yep however as a chronically constipated woman kate 0.62

00:56:34.200 where the hell do you get off 1.00

00:56:37.440 where the hell do you talk about it 0.96

00:56:39.300 near weekly I thought I'm sorry

00:56:40.940 I'm sorry I'm sorry you can cut it

00:56:43.020 I honestly thought it was like

00:56:44.200 I'm joking I'm completely joking

00:56:45.600 you were talking about pellets like last week

00:56:48.080 no

00:56:48.920 you sure

00:56:51.260 yeah

00:56:52.620 I'm sure

00:56:54.480 god this really 1.00

00:56:59.000 I feel like there was one other poog episode 0.99

00:57:00.640 a long time ago where we talked about 1.00

00:57:02.460 a lot oh my god i said it coming out you know what i hate about it also it's like the uh

00:57:08.700 they're like yeah yeah the oop oop oop oopsie daisies oopsie daisies okay yeah um

00:57:18.340 i used to do a thing but you but you saying you being like juice is a lie

00:57:24.260 there's really something there i read these books called the green smoothie revolution

00:57:29.100 about 13 years ago okay where they really just they made the case and um you know but i i also

00:57:39.120 think like i think it's most relevant with fruit okay because of the sugar content yes of course

00:57:46.500 i'm talking about green juices so i know but i just think why not get the benefit of the fiber

00:57:54.060 and I just think

00:57:55.920 why not get the benefit

00:57:57.060 of the pith of

00:57:58.260 eat a salad

00:57:59.080 of course

00:57:59.580 eat the vegetables

00:58:00.340 I do that as well

00:58:01.120 the pith of the lime though

00:58:02.300 so what I'm saying

00:58:02.960 is you throw

00:58:03.440 you throw the full lime

00:58:05.020 into the Vitamix

00:58:06.220 or whatever you're using

00:58:07.400 the Ninja

00:58:07.960 right

00:58:08.420 which I'm using too

00:58:10.540 or talk about the slurry 1.00

00:58:11.660 I'm doing

00:58:12.180 yeah the Vitamix

00:58:13.080 yeah

00:58:13.300 yeah

00:58:14.880 I'm saying

00:58:15.620 well slurry 0.82

00:58:16.220 but I'm saying

00:58:16.880 smoothie versus juice

00:58:18.120 yeah juice the pith

00:58:19.820 no you're right

00:58:20.240 you can't juice the pith

00:58:23.060 you're missing the pith

00:58:23.900 right you miss yeah you're missing the pith for sure you forfeit the pith worried that people are

00:58:28.920 like there's a weird thing where every time i say pith i hear piss but with a with a lisp like i'm

00:58:34.220 like yeah and we're just like throwing it around confidently i don't know you need this

00:58:40.020 no we know what you're talking about do you want to know why wait can we just go back to the burning

00:58:46.700 of of the books though i mean of joe's book let's go back you know

00:58:52.940 i felt she forgave her too quickly i don't know okay mere like an hour later it's i love my

00:59:03.420 she's it's something like i could never hate my sisters yeah and there's kittens on the bed

00:59:08.280 and i'm like no uh no and then it's not no it's not it's not hours later it's like it's not hours

00:59:18.640 later i just remember i was like sorry joe leaves the room and then it's not until this is why

00:59:24.620 they're in the bed with kittens wrapped up it's not until amy falls to the ice and by the way 0.69

00:59:30.120 that's how you tell a fucking story that's why it's a classic folks yes make things happen in 0.97

00:59:36.580 the story yes yes um but then you know fair enough i still felt though i guess i felt like 0.99

00:59:42.920 her almost dying doesn't undo what she did i mean forgiveness is a radical act of faith

00:59:50.120 it always is of course i'm not saying forgiveness i'm just saying that part of me was was i mean

00:59:55.900 that's a massive loss yeah um when she when she plunges into the ice into the icy river

01:00:03.320 yeah Wim Hof method yeah

01:00:07.900 Wim Hof would have been stay in there doll yeah stay in there keep breathing

01:00:13.900 so cool the thing of like Wim Hof you know again Wim Hof again I'm gonna butcher this look it up

01:00:20.020 on your own time yeah he came to his practice after like losing his wife like the horrific grief

01:00:27.360 oh right and he was like i want to die like yeah like the level of pain and then he started

01:00:34.380 plunging himself into ice water it's like the only way to like make physical yeah oh is that

01:00:39.900 is that kind of the was it about to experience what he was experiencing kind of like yeah

01:00:44.920 something like what drove him into the icy water was like the grief for sure yeah he's hot

01:00:49.960 someone tells me he's having no trouble these days yeah you know he's like he's like the widow

01:00:59.100 and he's like the water he goes and he's like and you know it's like well scores of like what's 0.78

01:01:05.880 happening in the water women like the ones that he brings in by hand

01:01:10.320 okay and then the whole motion of them breathing he can hide what's happening under the under the 0.99

01:01:17.940 surface of the water oh my god so they're like they're like no you know they're like they're

01:01:23.440 like they're like private session with with vim hoff or wim hoff or whatever it is with vim benders

01:01:28.380 okay and they're like private session it's like three hundred dollars okay they're like you know

01:01:37.900 private consultation three hundred dollars right they're like in water consultation okay like where

01:01:44.100 you go into the water with 450 and then i was gonna say in water in water consultation

01:01:56.720 asterisk free and it doesn't say anything else you just have to know hands above water 450

01:02:06.820 hand-submerged free no i can you imagine i'm imagining he's a genius oh he's a genius

01:02:15.040 because you know he could have done it a nice why isn't he in a cryo bin the cover of the water

01:02:22.260 it's actually easier to access it's actually easier to access a cryo bin than it is

01:02:32.020 icy cold water these days in most communities so to say it's like it's about access is a lie

01:02:40.120 well anyone could just hop in their local creek

01:02:43.700 uh yeah at dawn in the middle of winter before it was maximum freezing 0.73

01:02:51.180 it was always about the bikinis for him i'm picturing i'm picturing the hot woman being

01:02:57.300 i was really resistant at first but being in there and i really and trying to as what happens 0.99

01:03:02.900 i mean can you imagine he is getting fucked around the clock he's a lucky boy so oh yeah 0.93

01:03:11.520 i mean just just put him aside go for it i think it's great sure i mean i think but i think 0.97

01:03:16.720 there oh you're saying like you're kind of noting the irony of i think sort of the grief

01:03:21.620 the widower's grief there's something about it but i think i think actually a lot of widows

01:03:25.940 so i think a lot of widow men clean up yeah okay okay ice cold water or not i think the grief

01:03:33.440 you know i don't know if it's if it's what is the knowledge they can commit and it's the and it's

01:03:40.480 it's also the safe threat of the dead wife of like oh the threat of the third right the threat

01:03:47.600 of the third like it it's like yeah it it there's something about that and eroticism there's a book

01:03:54.360 but it's like oh really yeah it's called the threat of the third it's like so that's like a

01:03:58.180 safe threat of the third in that sense and then and then um looking it up but i think there's

01:04:04.460 something i think there's something with the grief i think there's something about like

01:04:09.880 perceived emotional depth yes absolutely on a on a man by virtue of grieving emotionality

01:04:17.480 for me oh right right you know it's like well you got to grave the dead why and it's like look at

01:04:21.760 him he's sad about the dead woman right like it's like god poor boys uh

01:04:30.580 oh i was just thinking of of white lotus you're watching it oh you saw everything

01:04:37.040 they're just like wounded birds when he says wounded birds two there's only two out what's

01:04:43.480 the day oh the third one comes out oh maybe there is right there is two i guess i experienced three

01:04:47.460 because I found them so satisfying um well put funny I didn't receive a kit on on launch but

01:04:54.920 I guess that's I guess I'm not okay well okay now I feel better I actually was awake in the night

01:05:02.880 thinking you know somehow my status had dropped with the folks over at White Lotus and I just

01:05:09.380 want to say that the away suitcase that we were gifted with the White Lotus gift yeah by which

01:05:14.240 will reign

01:05:17.320 supreme in the memory for all the time.

01:05:19.980 Use it all the time.

01:05:21.520 Going to Toronto this week for simply

01:05:23.260 a couple nights. If that's all I got

01:05:25.340 out of running in this showbiz

01:05:27.540 circle in this life,

01:05:29.000 that one gift,

01:05:31.540 special gift,

01:05:33.400 I can't believe I was sent it.

01:05:36.740 I'll never forget

01:05:37.660 receiving it. It's all I need.

01:05:40.240 Wait.

01:05:42.320 We're going to end soon,

01:05:43.540 but wait.

01:05:44.240 what were you just saying oh vim oh right grief right vim the cold water oh here's the other

01:05:49.520 thing that just before we get back to little women just the the the one thing that does need

01:05:56.680 to be acknowledged okay here it is here it is everyone okay i'm waiting okay it's like

01:06:04.420 the most effective magic is the magic you create yourself okay literally as in like

01:06:10.640 and let's take a minute with that okay so vim vim vim creating that for himself okay

01:06:18.440 out of his need out of his pain okay means it works on a level for it that is inherently

01:06:25.900 different than learning the practice from vim doesn't mean it can't have benefits yeah doesn't

01:06:30.860 mean it can't have massive benefits that's his spiritual but yeah to come to it so if you can

01:06:38.680 give yourself you know like if you can like think to like most of i feel most of us tell okay i'll

01:06:47.660 speak for no one you know it's like let me go to the expert let me go to the thing let me adopt the

01:06:52.780 habit right but wouldn't it be fun to at least make space okay for one thing i create myself

01:07:03.420 yes yes totally i like to stand you know you know on one on a rock i've always thought actually if

01:07:09.660 i just spent like if my practice was 10 minutes standing on one rock every day yeah yeah that

01:07:15.560 would be something by the way you're actually that is a thing ground i have to figure it out

01:07:20.900 no but i just mean there's like a there's like an ancient image of like and i think it's a joker

01:07:25.900 stand balancing on the ball oh which is like an image that might seem familiar but that goes back

01:07:31.960 like oh I don't mean to imply that it that it's novel or something or like no I know but it's a

01:07:37.860 thing about balancing on the ball well I don't know if the the listeners know this I mean I

01:07:42.860 don't think they do I can walk on stilts well I didn't know that okay a lot of people don't know

01:07:51.640 this about me okay but I went to circus camp as a child and and I used to just walk around my home

01:07:59.240 still so just to wander into the kitchen when my brother had a friend over casually this is the

01:08:05.340 sweetest thing in the world obviously looking to show off integrate it into the act now um um the

01:08:12.360 thing that my note okay and my note in my about little women oh yeah yeah please so little women

01:08:18.900 gabriel burn of course the professor hot baby let's talk about how much older is he than joe

01:08:27.900 I mean, I mean, oh, way more.

01:08:31.760 I mean, to me, Gabriel Byrne's always been kind of a kind of inherently 55.

01:08:36.460 Yeah.

01:08:36.720 Yeah.

01:08:37.180 Or maybe even older.

01:08:38.940 But so it's hard to say, actually.

01:08:41.060 But.

01:08:42.660 Is there a book called?

01:08:44.940 Called what?

01:08:45.900 I don't know why. 1.00

01:08:47.220 Is there a book called Fuck You, I'm 50? 1.00

01:08:49.420 I don't think there is. 1.00

01:08:50.300 I just had this image because you said something 50.

01:08:55.700 and i had this image of us in our 50s and i was like yeah i'm gonna write a book when i'm 52 0.95

01:08:59.780 called fuck you i'm 50 i don't think it's real no it's not real because they've only started 0.98

01:09:06.580 recently integrating fuck into book titles not real can't you see me in every circles of course 0.99

01:09:12.720 50 oh totally well i i see us in skirt suits sorry i've put myself in the book as well 0.97

01:09:19.840 skirt suits on the cover cross-legged leaning forward

01:09:23.440 yeah i'm 50 but yeah totally um we'll do the 50 tour

01:09:28.820 i mean but really it should be yeah i mean at every at every at every

01:09:34.600 okay wait hold on sorry i took you off to come back please come back okay

01:09:37.600 so the note it was it was twofold one because i made a note to myself and then thought i'm

01:09:44.680 going to share this with kate so the first thought was that all right all right do you know the song

01:09:51.680 by jewel foolish games yes of course i dare you listen to foolish games place yourself inside of

01:10:00.180 it sing it with all of your your truth and not be moved to tears okay yeah okay um so i'll just let 0.66

01:10:11.600 the listeners do that this week.

01:10:13.340 I already am remembering it.

01:10:14.500 It's unbelievable.

01:10:15.800 I haven't thought of it in so long.

01:10:17.060 Terry me, Terry me,

01:10:19.920 Terry me.

01:10:20.940 Okay.

01:10:21.540 It's absolutely stunning.

01:10:25.140 Jewel had something

01:10:26.000 that we haven't seen since,

01:10:28.080 but continue.

01:10:29.480 So,

01:10:30.100 my realization is that

01:10:32.960 simultaneously for me,

01:10:34.460 and I like to believe permanently,

01:10:37.500 Foolish Games is the song

01:10:39.760 of after

01:10:43.040 Joe's relationship

01:10:45.060 with the professor

01:10:45.980 Sowers

01:10:47.280 which

01:10:48.580 which didn't

01:10:51.420 you mean like the postscript

01:10:52.600 an imagined postscript

01:10:54.500 an imagined postscript

01:10:55.580 because in the

01:10:56.580 you know

01:10:57.480 the relationship

01:10:58.320 holds

01:10:59.580 okay

01:11:00.540 you're always brilliant

01:11:02.340 in the morning

01:11:03.060 smoking a cigarette

01:11:05.420 and talking

01:11:07.200 over coffee

01:11:09.020 Philosophies and art

01:11:11.660 Broad moves you

01:11:13.260 You love Mozart

01:11:14.560 You speak of your loved one?

01:11:17.880 Well I clumsily strum my guitar

01:11:20.760 Okay I know she don't have a guitar

01:11:21.760 But you know what I mean

01:11:22.440 Excuse me

01:11:23.980 God who's that about?

01:11:25.500 Yes I'm a second you for somebody else

01:11:28.900 Somebody gives a damn 0.90

01:11:31.640 Somebody more like myself 0.92

01:11:35.060 Ooh

01:11:36.020 Okay right there

01:11:38.820 she saw in him

01:11:40.460 what was really in her

01:11:42.840 and isn't that the lover's discord

01:11:45.000 my hands behind my back 1.00

01:11:46.600 she's clumsy

01:11:48.440 and then

01:11:50.120 you go through every lyric

01:11:52.420 it just works

01:11:53.720 it's like her sitting there

01:11:56.100 I was always a concern 1.00

01:11:57.600 and honestly he's kind of a bastard 0.99

01:12:00.380 I don't love the way 0.99

01:12:01.480 after the relationship sours

01:12:03.360 I don't love the way

01:12:05.100 I don't love that that professor

01:12:08.440 you know sort of bullies joe into finally writing about her old life and not writing about like

01:12:15.000 rodrigo and like right adventures there's something a little like i don't know like

01:12:20.440 annoying that that's given over the professor just because he had good advice in that way

01:12:24.720 doesn't mean like she has to marry him but i've received that advice like thinking about it

01:12:29.640 i'll just not to bring it to comedy but like i have been told like i remember when i was like

01:12:35.460 very young like 17 18 of course yeah and men being like of course my childhood ew like being

01:12:42.680 like yeah yeah what about when you were a little girl no right you and you're not you and you're 0.88

01:12:47.160 get away from you and you're gay you and you're like i mean yeah everything's i mean whatever 0.85

01:12:51.760 how about never speak to a woman about her heart oh it never wait so you're imagining that song is 0.99

01:12:59.400 this is the anthem to the postscript of their relationship yeah how quickly did you picture

01:13:03.560 the same room how quickly do you think it's our i didn't want it i think i just i don't know i uh

01:13:12.160 ew you're really turning me against that union and that's fine but i'm really yeah in a different

01:13:19.340 way so quickly everything can change because she you know i think it's like

01:13:27.880 me and my my like dearest oldest friend like we used to have this like joke about like because

01:13:35.240 you know she would be like you know like obviously i'd choose laurie whatever right and i'd be like

01:13:39.680 no you're gonna end up with a professor again professor like i would joke ongoing joke you're

01:13:43.980 gonna end up with a professor one day like anytime she was dating anybody that like

01:13:47.460 like was more laurie than professor i'm like yeah you're gonna end up with a professor

01:13:51.680 yeah because we perceived you know as i still kind of do any film as being like sort of

01:13:58.460 philosophically inherently true yeah like joe marries a professor like you're gonna yeah yeah

01:14:05.340 like it's just that's how life goes beautiful but we're not all joe you know we cling to myth

01:14:12.700 i sure do i mean i mean i just i go i think movies are real that way so it's just

01:14:21.520 is what it is um but anyway yeah take a listen okay i'm gonna listen to foolish games you know

01:14:31.460 get the lyrics back in your head you know prepare and then give yourself like six six listens and

01:14:38.540 six self-performances six philosophies and art baroque moves you okay i just want to say when

01:14:47.140 i break into song on pook i need everyone to know my voice is better than it is on poop because

01:14:51.860 there's a terror okay that literally locks up my vocal cords no you do it's it's the half

01:14:57.360 performance yeah i just need them to know yeah by the way also not a joke is um i know we got to go

01:15:05.780 but the other the other i mean don't sneeze at um people live their lives a day in 40 v they know

01:15:13.280 you're better than me we won't who will save you i mean it's unbelievable all right um i'm starving

01:15:24.840 i'm gonna go saute some swiss chard drop a couple eggs on there get some toast in there

01:15:31.060 have kind of a morning platter and then i'm actually going to take a day off matcha because

01:15:35.560 my matcha my matcha brilliant friend matcha brilliant friend said that um you really want

01:15:42.280 to you don't want to do matcha like the high of the matcha will of course degrade you'll get

01:15:46.640 accustomed to it so you don't so it's actually kind of if you're relying on matcha as a stimulant

01:15:51.400 as a safe time release stimulant right you want to save it and again yesterday i was

01:15:57.180 soaring damn damn okay all right i'm gonna go gua sha the pleasure was all mine

01:16:06.720 that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review if not we will press charges 0.98

01:16:17.520 then she says have you seen a photo of my son and i'm like who is this person

01:16:27.060 welcome to the boys and girls podcast arranged marriage is basically a reality show and you're

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01:17:52.260 you know Roald Dahl he thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG but did you know he was a spy

01:17:58.880 in the new podcast the secret world of Roald Dahl I'll tell you that story and much much more

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01:18:18.240 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:18:23.220 Talking to your kids about the dangers of vaping can be hard.

01:18:26.240 Getting them to listen to hot gossip is easy.

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01:18:46.300 So if you want to get tips on when and how to talk to your kids, visit TalkAboutVaping.org.

01:18:50.940 Brought to you by the American Lung Association and the Ad Council.

01:18:53.620 This is an iHeart Podcast.

01:18:56.280 Guaranteed human.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - November 15, 2022

When it Sours

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