Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Ambitious Women Leaning into Family Life with Neha Ruch

00:00:00.000 Hey guys. Before we get into this episode, I just want to say a huge, huge thank you

00:00:10.920 to everyone who has already pre-ordered the Sicilian inheritance. So many of you have done

00:00:16.880 it. It's incredible. And we are about to hit a big pre-order milestone. I'm not really

00:00:22.520 supposed to talk about the numbers, but it's a big one. And we are a couple hundred orders

00:00:27.840 away, so I'm just putting it out there one more time, order the Sicilian Inheritance,

00:00:33.260 and you're going to get a free lifetime subscription to the Over the Influence newsletter

00:00:37.560 forever. Forever. It's like an $80 value. It's great. Anyway, thank you, thank you to everyone

00:00:43.700 who's already done it. We couldn't do this without our listeners. That's how word of this book is

00:00:48.440 getting out, and I just really appreciate you all. Okay, now on to our regularly scheduled programming.

00:00:57.840 The words and definitions that we use to describe women are often not inclusive.

00:01:07.960 And for a long time, I think that a lot of definitions of womanhood and motherhood have been used to pit women against one another.

00:01:20.120 My guest today wants to change that.

00:01:24.160 Neha Roosh is on a mission to update the perception of stay-at-home motherhood in America.

00:01:30.180 Yes.

00:01:31.640 Because when you think of stay-at-home moms, whether you are one or whether you are not one,

00:01:37.500 whether, and I like to say, a work-at-home mom, what is the first thing that comes to mind?

00:01:43.860 Because pop culture has not done these women any favors. 0.53

00:01:48.520 It hasn't. It really hasn't. 0.98

00:01:50.040 It has perpetuated this myth of someone who sits home and watches soaps and eats bonbons.

00:01:56.700 Yes, I am thinking about Peggy Bundy. 0.99

00:01:59.280 God, I fucking loved Married with Children. 0.98

00:02:01.520 My parents let me watch a lot of TV. 0.99

00:02:04.080 We watch a lot of inappropriate television.

00:02:06.720 And there was just, there was a lot of Married with Children on in my house.

00:02:09.720 Sidebar.

00:02:10.940 Neha Roosh is trying to redefine stay-at-home motherhood in America

00:02:14.740 by infusing it with ambition, dignity, growth, and potential.

00:02:20.920 For a long time, we have been told that we should lean in,

00:02:26.000 that we should be a girl boss,

00:02:27.620 that we should also be doing all of the things.

00:02:30.920 But what if you want to be ambitious about motherhood?

00:02:35.320 What if you want to be ambitious about staying in the home?

00:02:38.480 And what if you want to do that for a little while,

00:02:41.520 for a pause, for a season of your life. Shouldn't you then be able to have a different season

00:02:48.000 in a few years? All women contain multitudes. We can be many, many things, and we can be ambitious 1.00

00:02:55.880 about many, many things. We do have seasons in our life of which, hey, I want to be ambitious

00:03:03.620 about being a mom right now, and then I want to be fucking ambitious about being an astronaut or

00:03:08.280 an author or a plumber or something else, right? We have options. We have choices. And that is 0.86

00:03:14.380 what Neha's platform, Mother Untitled, wants to talk about. Mother Untitled is striving to help

00:03:21.420 the world see stay-at-home mothers as the dynamic and evolving professionals that they are so that

00:03:26.860 women can choose a chapter of family life with pride. They are working to evolve cultural

00:03:32.880 perceptions of staying at home with your children and also the workplace to make it easier for

00:03:39.060 women to take time to be with their children and then come back into the workplace. Other

00:03:43.680 countries have done this. This is not new. This is not reinventing the wheel. Your career does

00:03:48.460 not have to end. Your ambition does not have to die because you have children and you choose to

00:03:53.640 spend time raising them. Things can change. Of course, we're probably going to have to change

00:04:00.280 them because women be doing all the work. I am Neha Roosh. I am a mother to two kids who are both 1.00

00:04:14.040 wonderful in heart and all the things. I live in New York with a dog coconut and my husband

00:04:20.920 and I run a platform called Mother Untitled which I started after a decade in brand and advertising

00:04:28.720 an MBA from Stanford when I chose to pause my career. And I was sort of gallop smacked by the

00:04:33.680 societal stigma about what it means to be an ambitious woman and take a career break. And

00:04:39.100 I was looking around, I was meeting all these incredible women in New York, but really everywhere

00:04:44.760 who were, you know, they had clocked in 10 years in their career. They had equitable relationships 0.92

00:04:50.580 with their partner. They were trying out consulting. They were taking a break, but

00:04:54.460 feeling confident in their church and none of it matched the sort of June Cleaver archetype of

00:04:59.460 the stay-at-home mother and meanwhile this was like you know let's say eight years ago so it's

00:05:04.340 the height of the lean-in movement the girl boss era and there was nothing in media sort of speaking

00:05:09.980 to or elevating the ambitious woman choosing to lean into family life so I started mother untitled

00:05:18.380 then. There's obviously an irony in building a platform while you're pausing. So, you know,

00:05:25.500 there's not there. Yeah. No, I don't I don't think there is an irony. I think, you know, it's we we

00:05:32.380 have different seasons and we, you know, who defines what a pause is? I'm pausing from corporate

00:05:39.480 America, but I want to do something else that's fulfilling. Right. Exactly right. And that was,

00:05:45.020 So, you know, I think that's the new narrative that we're presenting, that, you know, even if someone takes, there's sort of this new collective narrative that we want to assemble that's made up of so many multi-hyphenated women who might be taking sort of a literal break from their traditional career, but are still growing and exploring and staying connected in ways that were sort of unimaginable 50 years ago.

00:06:10.220 So that's the nature of the platform now. And I have a book coming out in January of 2025 called The Power Pause.

00:06:18.320 I think this is so important because what we're doing is blowing up cultural stereotypes that are so ingrained in us that, yes, you had this great career.

00:06:31.140 You got this MBA from Stanford. You were doing all of the things that women of our generation were told to do work-wise.

00:06:39.520 You lean in. And if you're not leaning in, I think we've been told by our culture and by society, you're kind of a failure if you're not leaning into the corporate world.

00:06:53.360 And frankly, the corporate world has done most of us dirty. Like I cannot. Every job that I have had treats women like shit. And so it's not just mothers. It's women generally.

00:07:06.140 But we've been told if we don't embrace that, then we're not ambitious. We're not living up to our potential. And for me, that has created such a division between mothers who are working inside the home and mothers who are working outside of the home that is just toxic and gross. I want to hear what you think about that.

00:07:31.900 Well, I mean, if you I think if you go one step further, I think we are made to feel like we're letting down other women somehow when we if we choose to pause our downshift.

00:07:48.860 Right. Like we're not holding up our end of the bargain with the feminist movement.

00:07:54.240 And I think some of those tropes are the most damaging, that if you choose to sort of part with the traditional metrics of success, feminism, so economic gain, career status, you're not upholding your end of the bargain.

00:08:13.320 I want to dig in a little bit to the mommy wars, this fabricated division between women who work inside the home and women who work outside the home. I think it's just a false notion that was created by the media to once again pit women against one another.

00:08:32.500 I mean, you're exactly right. That's and I'm so glad you brought that up because that's in essence what it came down to is that in, you know, it was really the advent of television and advertising.

00:08:44.500 advertising. It is as simple as that, that, you know, at a moment in time when post-World War II,

00:08:52.500 women had had the experience of stepping into the workforce and working for pay because the war.

00:08:59.800 And then suddenly they were sort of thrust back to their normal day to day. And

00:09:03.440 women started to raise their hands and say, wait a second, like that doesn't actually work for us. 1.00

00:09:08.320 we want to work for pay. And that became this wave of feminism that was considered modern and 1.00

00:09:15.140 progressive. But yet there was obviously still women in the home that represented the wide 1.00

00:09:20.120 majority back then. And it was the advent of advertising and dishwashers and washing machines. 1.00

00:09:28.580 So suddenly we see these images of women teetering around in heels and aprons serving their children 0.68

00:09:36.800 platter of cookies serving their husband their cocktail at the end of the day and that became

00:09:42.120 the archetype and caricature that was associated with women in the home and that became pinned

00:09:50.500 this idea of traditionalism so suddenly we had these two divisions when in reality there was

00:09:56.900 always much more women in between but media loves conflict media loves conflict between women

00:10:05.340 they love conflict between women and so began the stay at home and working mother

00:10:12.780 mommy wars were two sides that had much more in common than they were being portrayed to

00:10:18.960 were pitted against each other they were they were and you know i one of my favorite examples

00:10:27.420 of how the media loves to pit women against women and there's so many examples actually

00:10:32.320 of when I was an entertainment reporter and actually from there's there are examples from

00:10:37.300 entertainment reporting and also political reporting because let's be honest they're one

00:10:41.580 in the same at this point but anytime we would do a story about a show of women sex in the city

00:10:49.440 the view all the editors wanted was the feud who's being bitchy to who who's being catty to who

00:10:57.060 And they manufactured these feuds most of the time. Same thing when I was covering Hillary Clinton running for president. It was always about, ooh, what woman in Hillary's camp is turning on her? We don't talk like this about men. We don't pit men against one another ever like this. 0.79

00:11:16.640 no and i think that we you know i i think where we can take some responsibility is that the other

00:11:26.240 side of this is very deeply personal right i think motherhood is deeply personal so we are absorbing

00:11:32.940 messages from the media that says there are sides and then it quickly becomes well which side is

00:11:40.720 better for the family than the other, right? And then it starts to cut deep. And so we, you know,

00:11:47.760 we saw all of this, these research and statements that started floating around being saying that,

00:11:53.780 well, if there was a parent in the home, it was better outcomes for the child. And then there was

00:11:59.820 sort of the opposite view, which was that actually parents working out of the home secured a more

00:12:05.440 ambitious sensibility for the children. And by making it about the kids, it became so deeply

00:12:12.200 personal that women started to dig their heels in and really feel resentful toward another.

00:12:19.500 When in reality, the single thing that we know through science and research, it's that children

00:12:26.280 are safe and happy and healthy if they're in a healthy home where one parent is a loving steady

00:12:36.580 force whether they work in or out of the home that's what we know to be true so totally totally

00:12:41.660 and what or one caregiver it doesn't have to be their parent either one caregiver right like as

00:12:48.320 long as a kid feel safe and as long as they are taken care of they're gonna be good it doesn't

00:12:54.960 It doesn't matter if you're working at home, if you're working outside of the home.

00:13:00.920 I think you can also, and this is another false notion that came out of these mommy wars,

00:13:06.360 when we started hearing, oh, well, you have to work outside the home.

00:13:10.140 Otherwise, your kids are never going to learn ambition. 0.99

00:13:13.000 Shut up. Shut up. 1.00

00:13:16.180 The reality is it's the same thing, right? 1.00

00:13:20.300 It's women trying to defend their choices. 1.00

00:13:21.900 when in reality, we can just say, we made the right choice for us and our family for right now. 1.00

00:13:27.840 It immediately de-weaponizes. You put down your arms the moment you make that choice about yourself

00:13:34.080 and your family, as opposed to the better outcomes for your child. And so I would say, yes, the media

00:13:39.980 is responsible for sort of inflaming these words and then perpetuating these tropes and these

00:13:44.800 statements. But it's on us to start to have these conversations where we say, we're making the

00:13:51.080 unique choice that works for us. And by the way, there's so many more of us that are in between

00:13:56.500 than not. And that's where I see, you know, when I think about our mission, yes, it's about

00:14:03.740 changing the narrative about women on career pauses so that they get the respect and support

00:14:08.960 they need both in and out of the workforce. But really, the end of it is also dismantling these

00:14:15.620 very antiquated black and white notions of state, home and working mother. Because when we start to

00:14:20.460 into this idea of the gray area, we can more fluidly shift in our career to make the right

00:14:26.520 choices for right now, but we also start to put down the armor between each other.

00:14:32.460 Totally, totally. I mean, I do, I think that this calls for a whole new wave of feminism 0.99

00:14:39.280 where we're respecting other women's choices and where we are working together to carve out 0.84

00:14:49.840 a new way of being in both the world and in the workforce, because corporate America was created 0.93

00:14:57.160 for men by men. And we're also seeing a dismantling of corporate America. As we speak right now, 0.50

00:15:04.760 there are layoffs at nearly every media organization in the world. Hundreds of people

00:15:12.340 in my line of work are being laid off. We're all going to have to adapt to a new workplace.

00:15:18.880 workplace and because of that this is a big opportunity to make the workplace adapt to

00:15:25.820 mothers it's a long road but we're seeing that sort of cultural re-examination happen right now

00:15:33.080 yeah yeah absolutely we are going to take a quick break and when we get back i want to hear a little

00:15:39.160 bit more about your journey about your journey from the corporate world from getting an mba

00:15:44.100 to really leaning into motherhood and then creating your own platform under the influence

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00:20:35.860 and we are back we're back guess what happened while we were literally just on a little break

00:20:44.460 right there um your chats came in until you he had a fever or she had a fever no but because i

00:20:52.580 would ignore that right now um the new york times just confirmed that they're gonna review that

00:20:58.080 they're gonna review the sicilian inheritance i don't i'm so happy for you well i mean i'm happy

00:21:05.280 but i'm fucking terrified because no stop i'm terrified terrified i mean not that i've read it 0.56

00:21:11.880 i'm waiting for my for my copy it's on its way it's on its way but yeah no i mean this like this 0.92

00:21:16.680 literally happened like while we were like pausing for one second do you want to take a beat and just

00:21:21.900 like no smile and do a happy dance i mean no i'll do one i mean i'm happy i'm like this was fun this

00:21:27.900 was fun to get to tell you so um yeah so all right so we're gonna we're gonna now that now that we

00:21:33.540 talked about my exciting news, we're going to start out with a quote from you. The common

00:21:38.540 assumption is that we get soft as mothers. Yes, motherhood made me softer, but it also made me

00:21:44.980 stronger. It's a powerful combination with a wild amount of potential. I love that.

00:21:53.880 I love hearing you say it. I mean, I'll do dramatic readings of all of your quotes.

00:21:59.620 all of them maybe you should read my audiobook oh happily i will happily read your audiobook 0.93

00:22:05.600 i'd love it but i think that's so true because we're not soft we're not fucking soft it makes 0.75

00:22:13.200 me think so much about how i'm better at everything that i do after being a mom i am a multitasking

00:22:23.020 god now and i would if i i haven't written a resume in so long and if i if i have to again

00:22:31.320 which i probably will because media is crumbling down around us i'm going to write on it i am a

00:22:36.640 multitasking god i love that for you i really do and i would actually add to that because it's

00:22:42.660 interesting i would add that i'm beyond the sort of efficiency gained in multitasking i know how

00:22:50.680 to ruthlessly prioritize right ruthlessly ruthlessly and that's the sort of when i

00:22:59.120 talk about softness it's less about like i'm a warm and fuzzy and more about

00:23:07.680 a real parting with ego and a real clarity on what's important

00:23:13.540 and i think that that clarity on what's important and that perspective gained

00:23:19.820 in parenting is like I said just a dangerous combination with all the other skills both

00:23:27.320 that you had from your previous work life and the skills that you gain in parenting right like

00:23:34.480 I have so much patience now I mean I could be more patient I could 100% be more patient

00:23:41.460 we could all be more patient but I have a lot more patience with people babbling because

00:23:47.180 Have you ever heard a seven-year-old chant here and tell you a story?

00:23:51.140 Like, you know, if you can sit through that, you can sit through someone on a Zoom.

00:23:57.280 Like, you know, trying to make a point.

00:23:59.560 I'm also a better boss now, to be honest, because I still manage people when I'm working on my podcasts.

00:24:07.260 Not a hundred people like I did when I was working at a magazine.

00:24:10.740 But I do still do management tasks.

00:24:13.460 And if they're listening to this, they're going to be like, no.

00:24:16.300 But I think I actually think they'd say yes. I'm I think that I'm better at managing people. I'm more empathetic. You know, I I really try to think about people's needs in a way that I did not prior to having kids.

00:24:31.160 And again, this is not to say that mothers are better at anything, but I'm different. I'm different, and these skills are good skills, and they matter. And going back into the workplace, managing things, I'm running podcasts, I'm creating a podcast production company now, I'm better at work.

00:24:50.620 And I wish that corporate America saw that pause as something really beneficial, that they're getting someone that's coming back with new skills, with great skills, and they should embrace those mothers who then want to come back into the workforce instead of penalizing them.

00:25:08.680 you know the goal would be to get to a place i think it's april wren who's a futurist and she

00:25:15.260 wrote the word or uh the book flux and she presents this idea of a career portfolio

00:25:20.540 that's not linear anymore and it's really sort of an assembly of different experiences traditional

00:25:30.400 and non-traditional that contribute to what you bring to the workplace and that's the goal state

00:25:37.460 right that's the goal state that the employer wants to see sort of that full range of experiences

00:25:42.000 because you better believe that as soon as I left just as if you know when you leave I always

00:25:47.960 reference brand and advertising because it's what I know but if you leave an ad agency it's applauded

00:25:54.800 if you go in house right or you go into a startup because you're gaining different perspectives of

00:26:00.000 what it means to be on the client side in that same way you know what you're navigating like

00:26:06.960 real life and you're dealing with the advocacy on behalf of your children and you're volunteering

00:26:13.580 in school systems or whatever it is you're doing as you're navigating parenthood, you are adding

00:26:20.220 experiences to that portfolio. And it's just women and men. By the way, men constitute one in five

00:26:26.800 stay-at-home parents right now. And the sad thing is I know that as more men choose to pause,

00:26:32.940 There's just an actual new attention paid to the topic, right?

00:26:39.400 Absolutely.

00:26:40.660 So that's going to be interesting from a cultural perspective.

00:26:44.380 Well, and I can say this because I did a lot of reporting in Sweden and in Europe when I was reporting on my book, How to Be Married, where they do give parental leave to fathers.

00:26:59.240 where fathers do pause their careers more regularly and sometimes for a year at a time.

00:27:05.680 And there is a respect for these dads when they come back into the workforce. And so, yes,

00:27:12.500 if we just find a way to normalize it, to talk about it the way that you are on Mother Untitled,

00:27:19.760 then I think we can finally start to shift cultural attitudes.

00:27:24.980 I believe that. And so much of it is just having conversations like these.

00:27:28.600 and saying it out loud and elevating, empowering other women to do the same. 0.96

00:27:33.480 You know, if you really peel back the layers on so many highly visible women,

00:27:39.080 they have taken their own pauses and their own downshifts, 1.00

00:27:42.900 but they've buried them for so long.

00:27:45.100 So, you know, taking it out from the shadows and really creating a power to it

00:27:49.860 and a platform for it does normalize the nonlinear.

00:27:56.420 normalize and also celebrate it i would i would not say that my career my career has been anything

00:28:03.060 but linear since i started having kids i had charlie and i was freelancing and writing books

00:28:11.240 and starting to do podcasts but also i barely had child care and was cobbling it all together and

00:28:18.640 trying to figure it out and i've jumped from consulting to full-time just writing my books to

00:28:24.300 full-time making my podcasts for iHeart. I've done so many things that wouldn't be considered

00:28:30.020 climbing any corporate ladder. But I've also, even though I have childcare and I have all these

00:28:37.800 things, I've been with my kids so much. I'm here. I'm doing pickups and drop-offs and doctor's

00:28:44.820 appointments and getting to spend great time with them. And that has meant leaning out of

00:28:51.300 traditional corporate America. And maybe I wouldn't be defined as a massive success in

00:28:59.760 corporate America. I'm not the magazine editor. I thought I was going to be. But I really like

00:29:05.120 the life I've created for myself. And I think so many women like the lives they've created for 0.69

00:29:09.940 themselves and have been made to feel ashamed for it. Tell me a little bit more about who you were 1.00

00:29:16.880 before you had kids? Oh, thank you for asking because that part of me did not go away. And I

00:29:25.160 say this to all the women who took career pauses or shifts, that'd be such a valid part of your 0.67

00:29:30.320 experience still. And it doesn't just evaporate. So I was a child who immigrated from India to 0.98

00:29:38.920 Acton, Massachusetts, a tiny little town. How old were you when you immigrated?

00:29:43.920 I was just about four okay you were little I was really little yeah um and I loved that town but I 1.00

00:29:54.500 I struggled a lot I struggled with um belonging I was you know an immigrant in an all-white town 0.94

00:30:02.620 and the reason that's relevant is because you know I really struggled to fit in in my in my teens 1.00

00:30:09.040 and acted out to sort of dismantle all the stigmas

00:30:12.420 about what it means to be Indian.

00:30:14.520 And, you know, ended up saying, wait a second,

00:30:17.340 I really need to revisit who I am without all of this noise

00:30:24.120 and without the desperate desire to fit.

00:30:26.380 What would I be like if I took myself out of this

00:30:29.420 and went somewhere where I do fit and figure out

00:30:32.240 so that I could figure out what's really true?

00:30:34.400 And I took a year off between I was going to college.

00:30:36.540 I went to India.

00:30:37.160 I taught and I came back and I felt so ready. I felt so clear on who I was because I'd taken

00:30:44.220 myself out. And I would say that was my first sort of parting with the past, right? And probably

00:30:51.040 the first moment of recognition that there was value in that. But I came back with a chip on

00:30:55.860 my shoulder that I was going to pray up to everyone that was successful and could be successful. And

00:31:01.680 And so I got a lot of value and ego and redemption in my career, which I built in, in digital

00:31:09.780 strategy, like at the time where mom blogs were nascent in 2006 and clocked in about

00:31:16.820 a decade between advertising and brand strategy in-house.

00:31:20.300 And I went to Stanford, which was a goal of mine to go to business school there.

00:31:25.860 And I came back and something just wasn't like, it didn't feel like enough.

00:31:32.140 And then I had my first son and I was rocking with him in this white rocking chair.

00:31:37.480 And I remember just thinking, oh, I don't have to try so hard with him.

00:31:42.260 And I think I felt a wave of relief that I had been missing for a long time. 0.76

00:31:46.940 And that is the reason I paused and probably why I make such a big deal of saying women 0.94

00:31:51.080 should claim their choices for themselves and not make it about their kids. 0.77

00:31:54.000 I didn't choose to pause or downshift my career

00:31:56.260 because I thought it was better for my son.

00:31:58.800 I did it for myself because I knew I was better.

00:32:01.980 And then by nature of that, I was better for him.

00:32:05.640 And so initially I downshifted two days a week consulting

00:32:11.460 and then the rest of the time I met with him.

00:32:13.560 And it was in that time in shedding ego

00:32:16.880 and opening up my world to new women

00:32:19.480 that it compelled me to start what I'm working on now.

00:32:24.000 And what you're working on now, Mother Untitled, is brilliant. It is. You are redefining what it means to take a career pause, to make the decision to be a mother who is not in the corporate world, and for a season of your life. Also, maybe forever, but for a season, because life is long. Life is long, man.

00:32:51.560 And as I was looking around, I was meeting all of these incredible women who, like myself, were making conscious choices to make room for family life.

00:33:01.680 Some of them were pausing fully.

00:33:03.740 Some of them were downshifting into freelance.

00:33:05.600 Some of them were starting their own businesses.

00:33:09.080 And yet I was sort of gobsmacked by the stigma of what it means to part with the quote unquote ambitious.

00:33:19.780 i had women saying to me you know what are you going to do all day are you bored are you giving

00:33:26.560 up by the way someone said you took a spot at stanford for someone who could have done something

00:33:31.960 with it i mean it really was they think credible i hate that person by the way like if i ever meet 0.99

00:33:38.320 that person i'm gonna punch them in the fucking face and it was it a man or woman i always hate 0.99

00:33:44.140 this part it was a woman I hate that I hate that yeah but you know what I think it goes back to 1.00

00:33:50.080 what we were talking about it's been it's cultural conditioning and the point was they had been

00:33:56.840 served up a series of trips right and that you asked me why my why was I had this strength and

00:34:03.980 clarity for the first time in my life to say like no that doesn't work for me I know that this was

00:34:11.440 the right choice for me, even if it doesn't look right to you. And so for that reason,

00:34:18.060 I looked around and realized all these other incredible women who didn't match the stereotype 0.96

00:34:23.300 were also facing these stigmas. And I wanted a place on the internet that represented and supported 0.99

00:34:31.040 women who were breaking with the path, who are making their own ambitious choices,

00:34:37.460 who deserve to be recognized and seen for being dynamic and evolving

00:34:43.040 and in one chapter of a very, very long career journey.

00:34:47.760 And so that's how it started.

00:34:49.380 It really started as a project exploring what this new version

00:34:53.500 of Leaning into Family Life looked like in a sea of a lot of content

00:34:57.600 at that point that was really geared towards the traditional working pair.

00:35:03.200 That's how it started. And what is it now?

00:35:05.780 if you were to come to the platform you would see you know certainly a lot of thought leadership on

00:35:13.800 instagram really i use that forum i use all social channels to really just change the conversation

00:35:19.160 to bring together a group of women and on the daily reframe notions of success of ambition 0.97

00:35:25.800 of finances give them permission to see themselves as modern growing human beings during this stage

00:35:35.760 of life and to understand and validate their work however if you go to this site which is where we

00:35:41.660 really take our community and harness this sort of collective of women to change the conversation

00:35:47.140 we really deliver on the promise of you can unlock the potential of this stage of life to grow by

00:35:54.360 offering flex jobs boards mentorship and coaching and soon we're going to have a place for women to

00:36:02.860 connect in cohorts and trade resources among each other i mean just changing the world this is this

00:36:10.500 is what women do we just we just fix the broken world that men have left have left for us well and

00:36:16.820 i think that we have to we understand each other's nuance i mean i often say that even like if you 0.99

00:36:23.120 come to our expert directory right now well the expert directory is basically a rolodeck of women

00:36:29.980 I've vetted, who are advisors, relationship therapists, career coaches, resume writers,

00:36:36.740 but I vetted them for having the lived experience of having paused or downshifted themselves.

00:36:43.440 And the reason why it was so important to me to have that resource is because I never wanted a 0.97

00:36:48.820 woman to go to, let's say, a financial advisor to say, I'm having trouble figuring out how to

00:36:56.200 communicate to my partner that I, we share this household income. How do I get the language to do

00:37:01.880 that? I never want her to feel shame and stigma in that room. Right. And so the only way to sort 0.99

00:37:08.620 of create these spaces for each other is to bring our own experience and our own lived experience

00:37:15.200 so that we can share it with one another and learn from one another. So I do believe women,

00:37:20.540 um you know this whole concept of women supporting women isn't just a token hashtag like we are the

00:37:27.360 only ones who understand the nuance of motherhood and and what it means to walk through this stage

00:37:34.840 of life with a sense of empowerment in our choices i i need to use the expert uh list do you think i

00:37:44.880 could find someone who can help me decide whether or not i should do an llc or an s corp you know

00:37:49.680 what i do we have a lawyer there that would be super helpful oh i love it i love it women helping

00:37:55.340 women women helping women oh you're the best no you are i mean i think we are we're all changing

00:38:03.200 this conversation i told you joe i've been so in awe of you since the first season because what

00:38:10.900 you did, I think there's so many parallels with how we judge mom influencers and how

00:38:21.620 we judge stay-at-home parents, right?

00:38:24.260 We sort of, we like don't recognize the economic worth of these groups of people and that

00:38:30.520 they're real people with very nuanced, complicated, real lives.

00:38:37.400 And I think you sort of unpack that nuance and complexity and reality.

00:38:43.880 And I just love the way you did that.

00:38:45.880 And I hope I bring an ounce of that sort of like care and intellectual curiosity to this conversation.

00:38:52.580 You totally do.

00:38:54.280 You totally do.

00:38:55.060 Everybody needs to be following you.

00:38:57.240 Tell people where they can find you.

00:38:58.940 You can follow us at Mother Untitled on Instagram or come to the site to sign up for our subscriber community.

00:39:05.400 community it's free for newsletter subscribers and you get the flex jobs board and the expert

00:39:10.280 directory and a toolkit downloadable templates to help you feel confident in this stage of life

00:39:17.660 that's all we've got for today you can follow neha at mother untitled she puts up such great 0.91

00:39:25.800 shit like it's just it makes you think every day and it's awesome even if you're not a mother even 0.97

00:39:31.780 if you're just a woman who lives in the world who wants to think about how to make the world better 0.99

00:39:35.140 for other women. I think that's most of us. I do. I do. Neha and I have been talking about doing a

00:39:42.980 very cool Sicilian inheritance party together that will involve a lot of cheese and wine and

00:39:49.680 arancini and cannoli. So keep an eye out for that because we just we want to get a lot of cool women 1.00

00:39:56.320 into a room eating delicious food and talking about feminism and murder mysteries, right? 1.00

00:40:04.700 Yeah, that sounds like my perfect night. As always, you get our sub stack over the influence 0.87

00:40:11.460 for free, for free. We do so many cool book giveaways. There's some, you know, halfway decent

00:40:17.480 stuff written by me on there. You get it for free for life when you pre-order the Sicilian

00:40:22.240 inheritance and DM me a receipt. Just stalk me. Stalk me to get it to me and I will sign you up

00:40:27.480 for life and you will join this coven of women that I am creating. Love all of you. Thank you

00:40:33.040 for being here. Thank you for listening. I appreciate you so much. I do. Now go have a great day.

00:40:52.240 We'll see you next time.

00:41:22.240 You

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - January 25, 2024

Ambitious Women Leaning into Family Life with Neha Ruch

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