Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Pranking Babies and Posting Potty Training With Fortesa Latifi

00:00:00.000 Hello, and welcome to 2024, my friends. This is going to be our best year yet. It really

00:00:12.920 is. And I don't care if I sound really dorky saying that. We're going to make it a great

00:00:19.340 year. Flashback to the people who said that at the beginning of 2020. But no, seriously,

00:00:24.600 we are, we are. And I had a lot of ideas for the first episode of 2024. So many ideas. I mean,

00:00:33.840 we've got, we have a lot of great stuff coming up this year. But I know you're wondering,

00:00:40.100 what are we going to talk about today? Very recently, a friend of mine, the reporter for

00:00:45.620 Tessa Latifi, she writes for the Washington Post, Teen Vogue, Cosmo, she writes for all of these

00:00:51.820 amazing places. She sent me an account on Instagram called Go Diaper Free. Once she sent

00:01:01.220 it to me, I could never get it out of my head. And I text her all the time now and say,

00:01:07.720 Fertessa, screw you for making me see this because now I'm never going to unsee it.

00:01:12.480 And if you go look it up, you're never going to unsee it either. It's an account about elimination 0.98

00:01:17.720 training your kids. It's a way of potty training where the kids don't wear diapers, where you just

00:01:23.560 kind of work with the faces they make and their body language to decide if they're going to have

00:01:29.100 a poop or a pee, and then you try to get them to a potty as quickly as possible. Great, great. But

00:01:35.000 this is an account filled with pictures and videos of children on the potty, of children going to the

00:01:43.480 bathroom and frankly i cannot think of a bigger invasion of a child's privacy than this so i told

00:01:52.440 fortessa if she was going to be the one to put this into my life to put it in my head then she

00:01:57.640 had to come on the show and talk to me about it talk to me about what you have noticed about the

00:02:05.140 diaper free instagram influencers i mean it's it's definitely in line with the kind of influencer we

00:02:13.220 see right now which is this like crunchy earth mama like trad wife kind of thing and so it's like

00:02:19.620 not super surprising to me but what i saw what came across my instagram i was like oh my god i

00:02:26.060 have to send this to you was this girl this woman who um she was on the bachelor a couple years ago

00:02:33.400 and now she has a few kids and she like posts a lot of motherhood content and she just had a baby 0.84

00:02:39.180 like I think her baby's like not even like two months old maybe and she is like free diapering

00:02:45.780 him which is basically like trying not to use diapers and trying to catch their bowel movements

00:02:52.160 and their pee by holding them over a toilet or a sink or whatever which like okay fine I don't know

00:03:00.080 I'm not a parent so I don't know if I can really speak to that although I've read that like kids

00:03:06.200 don't have control over that at that age which like you would imagine they wouldn't um so i

00:03:11.400 don't know like scientifically if it's valid i can speak to this as someone who has potty trained 0.99

00:03:19.020 two children no there is no controlling that shit there is no controlling that shit okay it is going 0.98

00:03:25.640 to be everywhere they're going to do it wherever they want to do it and there are ways to potty 1.00

00:03:29.760 train that are good and bad i bribed my kids i i sat them on a potty with a screen i was like you

00:03:36.500 can watch all the tv you freaking want and if you poop you get an m&m and if you pee you get an m&m

00:03:42.820 and you know what they poop in the potty now so like whatever i and you can you can potty train

00:03:50.180 however you want to potty train but here's my biggest issue with the go diaper free account

00:03:55.260 this account has 70,000 followers yes 70,000 people are watching this woman's children

00:04:03.600 be potty trained without I can't even say it with a straight face

00:04:09.360 be potty trained without diapers they're seeing way too much of these kids like I find this account

00:04:16.660 to be one of the most exploitative accounts that I've seen on social media it's so wildly personal

00:04:23.180 And this is something I've thought about with influencer kids is like how they're going to grow up and be able like their bullies or their peers are going to be able to Google like their potty training.

00:04:32.640 And I'm just like, God, that's terrible.

00:04:34.340 And then imagine you're like one of the kids like on this account.

00:04:37.500 Like, I mean, is there anything more personal than going to the bathroom?

00:04:42.920 I don't get it.

00:04:43.920 We're literally like their parents teach us like privacy in the bathroom, blah, blah.

00:04:48.080 And then there's videos of them online, like getting breastfed and going to the bathroom at the same time.

00:04:52.960 It bums me out so much. And I just, yeah, it's not even, like I said, the idea of the diaper

00:05:02.280 freeness. It's that we have such a weird look at this. And there's one picture that I'm looking at

00:05:10.600 right now. And it's a kid sitting next to a potty, but then there's like a ton of pee next to them.

00:05:17.840 so we're not we're we're seeing naked babies covered with covered in pee it's just it feels

00:05:27.900 it feels weird and then also the babies that are sitting on the potty um look i don't necessarily

00:05:36.340 want to go here because this is also a terrible place to go but we've talked before on this show

00:05:41.760 that there are creepy elements who are on social media who take pictures of kids off of people's

00:05:49.020 feeds and just these potty pictures feel ripe for that and so this account this is oh my god

00:05:57.740 i can't stop scrolling i can't stop scrolling for this um this is one of just like someone holding

00:06:03.700 holding a pantsless child over a toilet yeah with her name her name is attached to this

00:06:12.460 so the baby's name is on here that's so identifying and again i just i just mentioned

00:06:19.840 how i potty train my kids that for me feels like mom advice like it's what i would tell

00:06:25.780 any stranger on the street that's like i'm potty training and i'm like here's how to bribe them

00:06:29.560 with M&Ms and Daniel Tiger versus pictures of my child pooping and peeing yeah I do think there's

00:06:37.820 like a line there and this is really interesting because there are moms and mom creators who want

00:06:43.760 to share about motherhood without kind of letting their kids privacy be part of that or lack of

00:06:51.260 privacy and I think it's interesting to see how they're like figuring that out like there's this

00:06:55.980 creator on tiktok her name is allison and she's um i think she's having a c-section literally today

00:07:02.120 so hope that goes well for her um because that sounds incredibly painful but she um has been

00:07:10.240 sharing all about her pregnancy for the last like nine months and you know it's been like really

00:07:15.080 cool and she's she's married and she shares out her marriage and whatever and then she came on

00:07:20.380 a few weeks ago and said like i'm not going to be sharing my daughter on social media when she's 0.91

00:07:24.300 born and people are like losing their shit like I made a TikTok about it and I was like you know

00:07:28.920 Allison is the latest influencer to decide you know to keep her kid offline or whatever and 0.98

00:07:33.940 people are like literally like well then why did she share about her pregnancy why like why why 0.99

00:07:39.580 would she show us all of this and then not show us the kid like why would she even do this in the

00:07:44.860 first place and I'm like but she says in the video being pregnant was my experience but that existing

00:07:51.220 is her experience living in the world is her experience and that also fascinates me that

00:07:59.300 there is this sense of ownership from an audience i like i deserve to see pictures of this child i

00:08:06.920 deserve to see this child grow up that is creepy as hell my friends yeah i think it's like one

00:08:13.140 thing to be like curious like they're you know you follow them and they're so cute they're like

00:08:17.960 a really cute married couple, Isaac and Allison, and you're like, I wonder what their kid is going

00:08:21.620 to look like. I wonder what the name is. Like, I think that's like normal. But I think when it

00:08:26.040 crosses over into like, like literally someone commented on my TikTok and was like, they owe us

00:08:31.700 pictures of the baby. And I was like, no, they don't, dude. What are you talking about?

00:08:37.740 No, they don't owe you anything. It's just intensely, intensely insane that people would

00:08:44.220 feel like they deserve to see anyone's child. But I think that that is coming from the fact

00:08:52.020 that we are, that there are so many accounts putting so much of children's lives out there

00:08:57.960 that we just assume that everyone would like to do this. Right. And we're used to seeing that

00:09:03.460 content. So we're like, wait, why would I see this and then not see every single thing that

00:09:08.300 happens to you exactly exactly and you know i've actually reached out to the go diaper free account

00:09:16.420 because again i'm not here to trash anyone and i'd love to hear their reasons for for doing this and

00:09:26.420 it this blew my mind when you sent it to me because we have seen so many coaches so many

00:09:34.800 parenting coaches emerge on the instagrams and the tiktoks that i didn't think we were going to

00:09:41.660 see potty training coaches i didn't think that this was this was going to be a thing but but it's

00:09:47.380 it's it's it's real it's real it's like the it's like the porn thing like if there's if there's a

00:09:53.540 topic then there's porn about it like if there's a topic there's an influencer about it oh my god

00:09:58.580 i created a whole rule for that in like the early episodes of under the influence i think i called

00:10:04.020 it like rule 35 or something i'm like if it exists there's an influencer for it um and and it's true

00:10:10.800 i mean this is an elimination communication is a real thing that some people do i don't want to

00:10:17.600 mock what any moms do if you think that you can catch your baby's poop then you should try to

00:10:23.400 catch your baby's poop i would never i would never ever be able to catch my baby's poop but i and i'm

00:10:30.200 wondering is this a thing that Instagram and these companies should should be putting up boundaries

00:10:36.620 around because this does feel like a violation of children's privacy I mean I think from their

00:10:43.500 perspective like children are big money makers on social media you know like if they were to say

00:10:50.060 like we want to protect children's privacy like okay how much do you protect it like does that

00:10:55.160 mean mommy vloggers because that's like a ton of their traffic and like a lot of the money that

00:10:59.400 they make so it's like i think they really have no business interest in doing no no they don't i

00:11:06.380 mean there was definitely a moral interest and there's an ethical interest but yeah there is

00:11:10.400 no business interest in protecting children there's not there's sadly sadly not and go diaper free is

00:11:17.640 not the only diaper diaper free account elimination account out there i feel i feel like a lot of our

00:11:25.200 listeners that were going to be surprised by this because i had never gotten served this content

00:11:29.780 until you sent it to me yeah so i do feel like this is a very this is a very specific corner

00:11:36.540 but yet a specific corner that has 71 000 followers 71 000 followers right and that's

00:11:44.460 just on that one account like you said like that they're not the only one well and you've done so

00:11:50.380 much research into how the children of influencers how they feel when they're actually cognizant

00:11:56.980 when they when they realize how much of their lives have been shared online what is what is

00:12:05.940 the impact how do some of these these kids feel once they can finally see accounts of themselves

00:12:12.140 i mean it's really brutal like i actually just talked to a young woman yesterday who

00:12:17.080 will be in a future story that i'm working on but her mom is a parent influencer and she was looking

00:12:25.820 back at the content and there was like this this content based around the girl's first period like

00:12:32.840 her first menstrual cycle and she was telling me like even at the time i was so embarrassed and

00:12:38.400 she was like not that you know you should be embarrassed and i was like dude you're like 13

00:12:42.100 of course you're embarrassed like i don't even talk about my period online at 30 just because

00:12:47.940 like whatever it's my own boundary and she was just like it's really weird she told me that when

00:12:53.320 she got to college she um you know people are like oh what do you what do your parents do like

00:12:58.740 whatever and she mentioned it and someone was like oh my mom loves your mom's blob whatever

00:13:04.300 and the girl's just sitting there like has she seen this like what does she what does she know

00:13:08.840 of me that i hadn't told her wow wow that makes so much sense of course it does of course it does

00:13:19.200 like what does this person know about me because their mom is a fan of me and that used to just be

00:13:25.080 reserved for the children of celebrities right which again terrible thing but i mean let's let's

00:13:32.700 bring it around to the children of celebrity because i was still working in celebrity journalism

00:13:37.240 when People Magazine made the decision not to publish pictures of celebrities' children

00:13:43.500 unless there was explicit permission.

00:13:46.820 So their boundaries were drawn around celebrity kids,

00:13:51.380 although, you know, they were very, very big gray area.

00:13:55.880 And so I think that we need to go in that direction

00:13:59.420 when we're thinking about the influencer kids

00:14:03.500 and what can embarrass them and what they may or may not want to talk about.

00:14:07.960 I just think bowel movements have to be such a clear line.

00:14:12.100 It seems like a real line to me.

00:14:13.820 I mean, you would think, right?

00:14:15.080 And when I think about the celebrity kids, obviously that is its own beast

00:14:19.000 and not taking anything away from their experience.

00:14:22.060 But there was, I think, more of a line for those kids

00:14:25.100 because obviously they had to worry about the paparazzi or whatever.

00:14:28.080 But this is like, your home is your set, you know, is like the movie set.

00:14:32.900 Like you, everything can be made into content versus being like, oh, if I walk outside right now, like a paparazzi can take a picture of me.

00:14:39.800 This is your parents are the paparazzi.

00:14:41.620 Like I'm, there's just like not a boundary in the same way.

00:14:45.920 I was just going to say that, that it's your parents who are the paparazzi, not some creepy photographer guy like all of the ones that I used to have to work with.

00:14:55.800 Yeah.

00:14:56.260 Got sent to Mexico with one once.

00:14:58.320 What? For what?

00:14:59.980 Oh my God, this story is bananas.

00:15:01.500 I was working at the New York Daily News and that is back when newspapers still had money

00:15:07.320 and they sent you on ridiculous like excursions to go get exclusive stories and we got we got a tip

00:15:14.640 that Eli Manning was getting married in I think it was Cabo San Lucas and they're like all right

00:15:21.220 you gotta go you gotta go there and I'm like to Cabo they booked me into this resort it was a

00:15:28.540 $10,000 a night suite and I had to go with this creepy old paparazzo like and we kind of had he

00:15:37.880 like thought it was funny if we pretended we were married oh yeah and because I like worked in such

00:15:45.000 like an old male dominated industry he would like take pictures of me in my bathing suit because

00:15:51.700 we're by the pool trying to be undercover while Peyton and Eli are tossing a football around in

00:15:56.760 the pool um and he'd like take pictures of me in my bikini and like send some work to the newsroom

00:16:02.600 and everyone would laugh about it uh which is i mean which is why which is why i think i have such 0.99

00:16:07.900 a thick skin for like bad bosses now i'm like you want to hear bad listen to this shit yeah oh my 0.96

00:16:14.040 god that's awful also that's like so vintage that like not only did the like newspapers have money 0.98

00:16:19.500 but that you couldn't just rely on people like sending you snapchats of like finding out who

00:16:24.060 was getting married you know like you had to go totally totally and i was the only reporter that

00:16:28.680 had made it into the resort and so someone from the new york post had rented a boat to like do a

00:16:35.140 boat by like by like the beach where they were getting married but i was in it and frankly the

00:16:41.020 photographer did get the pictures and ended up the daily news was then able to license them to a lot

00:16:45.720 more places and cover the story but this is the weird economics of the world of old school celebrity

00:16:51.100 journalism that is bananas i know and also also such a good story so like in hindsight i'm like

00:16:57.180 yeah it was annoying but also hilarious worth it totally totally worth it there is i want to take

00:17:06.040 a quick break let's take a quick break and when we get back i want to talk about this this other

00:17:11.900 new phenomenon that parents are doing to children on social media that just turns my stomach where

00:17:18.160 they're pranking their kids where they're playing jokes on their kids can we talk about that when

00:17:22.580 we get back yes absolutely all right fortessa have you have you seen this this new thing that

00:17:41.540 that's going around the prank my baby trend uh yes unfortunately i have it's hashtag you can

00:17:48.860 search hashtag prank my baby how how the hell does one prank their baby like they don't understand

00:17:55.300 things you can't prank also i hate pranks i will just go on record like any age if someone pranks 0.79

00:18:01.080 me bye i don't want to be near you no you're a bad person you're you're a bad unless it involves 0.75

00:18:07.120 So whoopie cushion, because whoopie cushions.

00:18:09.660 Actually, my niece and nephew are obsessed with whoopie cushions, 0.87

00:18:12.560 and they'll put one underneath my husband pretty frequently.

00:18:15.940 And that's like, okay, that is obviously funny.

00:18:18.020 It's like the only prank that I can stum in.

00:18:20.300 The only prank that is at all funny is the whoopie cushion.

00:18:25.500 I think this is going to air after the holidays,

00:18:27.980 but I bought both of my kids' whoopie cushions,

00:18:30.720 and it's going to be their favorite holiday present.

00:18:33.320 I know it.

00:18:33.760 I mean, it's so funny.

00:18:35.180 I'm scrolling through these prank my kid, prank my baby accounts, and there's one that is so, so awful.

00:18:42.740 It's a mother gives her kid an ice cream cone, and it's a little kid.

00:18:47.320 He's probably like 18 months old, gives the kid an ice cream cone, and then, and the kid is so happy,

00:18:53.920 and then smashes it, smashes the ice cream, and then wipes her dirty hand down his shirt, and he just starts bawling.

00:19:05.180 bawling what are some other things that you see in these prank my baby videos yeah so some of it

00:19:12.860 is like using like fake poop and like either throwing it at them or like showing it to them

00:19:19.500 and being like you did this or this is out here whatever which is just like so bananas to me

00:19:23.720 because you're also like trying to teach them like not to like touch poop and to like put it

00:19:29.820 in the toilet and then you're kind of like undoing all your lessons which is weird there was that one

00:19:34.320 a few months ago like the cheese one did you see that they literally would just throw pieces of

00:19:40.280 cheese like cheese that you would use in a grilled cheese like a slice and just like throw it on the

00:19:45.620 kid's face and just like have the reaction to it to getting cheese thrown on your face and the kid

00:19:50.760 is like what I don't know maybe I'm just like really sensitive because I literally am the most

00:19:55.700 sensitive child and adult like on planet earth but I just don't understand pranks and like the

00:20:00.840 idea of like taking a video like there was that I know that last time I was on I was talking about

00:20:05.900 the LeBrant family which is like that big YouTube family and they had like this prank like a couple

00:20:11.280 years ago maybe like as much as five years ago now but their daughter Everly who at the time was like

00:20:16.380 I think like six or seven maybe um they told her that her dog had like run away and

00:20:24.500 more than that and they paid like a whole video on it and they were like yeah sorry like carl's

00:20:31.020 gone like you know this happens and then she's like sobbing and it's like and then they like

00:20:36.720 literally uploaded it and that like that's just not a prank i don't think yeah i'm that is just

00:20:43.840 what parent would think let's tell our kid that their dog ran away or that their pet is dead 0.99

00:20:49.420 and then videotaped their reaction that is just fucked up to me it is fucked up to me there's no 0.99

00:20:54.940 other words for it yeah it's a very very strange behavior and then like posting it to like 0.99

00:21:00.840 millions of followers millions of followers i'm looking at another post right now

00:21:07.280 on tiktok where this is a baby baby like a little baby and the parent goes it looks like they're in

00:21:12.820 a target or a walmart or something and the parent goes and puts on a creepy mask kind of like the

00:21:18.120 masks that the people wore in Point Break when they were robbing banks, and then the baby cries. 1.00

00:21:25.080 Fuck. No. It's just like, I don't get it. I don't understand. 1.00

00:21:32.180 I don't, I don't understand either. And again, this feels like, this feels to me like content

00:21:39.620 that should also maybe be restricted. Again, it won't be. All of these have millions and millions

00:21:46.300 of views so so many views um and the comments and the comments are also very divisive you know so

00:21:57.480 you know oh my gosh wait no no no now here's another one i have to there's a fake hitting

00:22:03.300 your baby's head challenge what do you mean okay okay this is crazy crazy to to explain you

00:22:11.020 tried the I tried the fake hitting my baby's head challenge what do you do I need to I don't really

00:22:19.400 understand what you do here but I'm just all I'm seeing is a crying baby right now so all right

00:22:25.060 hold on hold on hold on what do you do the fake oh oh my god all right so in this video you hold

00:22:32.700 the baby in front of a wall and you pretend that you're about to drop the baby and bang on the wall

00:22:38.620 so they think that they hit their head and then they start to cry that is i'm actually like in

00:22:45.340 shock like that is so mean like the joke is that the baby thinks they're hurt what is the joke

00:22:51.620 what is the joke this isn't even a prank this is like they the woman pretends that she's going to

00:22:56.980 drop her baby that's what's happening that's what's happening this has to be creating some

00:23:02.100 kind of deep distrust in like in between the parent baby relationship and to me this is very

00:23:09.800 interesting because there's this one part of social media that does nothing but talk about

00:23:15.320 attachment attach them skin to skin with duct tape with everyone naked until they go to college

00:23:22.400 so they have they have good attachment and then there's this other part of social media that is 1.00

00:23:28.060 let's torture our babies let's just like fuck with them until we turn them into American 1.00

00:23:34.540 psycho style sociopaths oh it just like bums me out like even as an adult I just the idea of 1.00

00:23:43.220 someone like making fun of me or like even like jumping out at me like I literally hate it and 0.98

00:23:48.200 it makes me feel so silly and stupid and like as a kid and for my reaction to be like online like 0.80

00:23:54.420 that's just like i don't like it i do not like it here here's another one i'm just gonna keep 0.98

00:24:00.500 scrolling i'm just gonna keep scrolling i thought here's another one where they're in some big box

00:24:05.980 store and the parent puts on a big bad wolf mask this is a really scary wolf mask it has big sharp

00:24:13.840 yellow teeth and there's a two-year-old sitting in the shopping cart and a baby baby probably a

00:24:19.460 nine-month-old in in the caddy and the whole purpose of this in the caption is who gets scared

00:24:25.820 first what it's who gets scared first and i'll tell you it's actually it's the toddler the baby 0.74

00:24:33.420 the baby it's just kind of like what is that furry thing and the toddler's like holy shit

00:24:39.280 i'm gonna die this has 290 000 likes no like simply no i do not co-sign i do not co-sign 0.55

00:24:52.860 i think this is this is one of i don't know what we're gonna call this episode are we just gonna

00:24:58.080 call it more disgusting things that parents put online of their children what were they thinking

00:25:04.120 this time this time it's even worse than you thought yeah literally literally um i mean you've

00:25:14.040 you've also talked to a lot of parents and a lot of influencers in your reporting where where do

00:25:21.140 some of them say that they draw the line because a lot of influencers do draw a proper line like 0.92

00:25:25.680 what are some people's boundaries because clearly these people that i'm looking at have no goddamn 0.98

00:25:30.140 boundaries? I mean, I think what's fascinating is that each of them, even the ones that we consider

00:25:35.220 to be boundaryless, like they do think that they have boundaries. Like I recently talked to this

00:25:40.760 huge family creator. And again, I have this whole influencer series coming out in Cosmopolitan in

00:25:48.300 March. And so I've been working on it and I talked to this huge creator and I was like, yeah, you

00:25:53.880 know, you've like posted videos of your kids like crying and, you know, having really like personal

00:25:59.120 difficulties. And he's like, well, you know, that's because that's just what's true to our

00:26:05.700 life. Like if you felt if you like are in a family, like it's not always like rainbows and

00:26:09.900 butterflies, like there's going to be kids crying like the whole videos. And I was like, well, yeah,

00:26:14.060 but this isn't a whole video. Like just by definition, it's not a whole video. And he was

00:26:19.320 like, yeah, but and then I asked him, like, what do you think about the backlash against family

00:26:23.260 influencers? And he was like, well, I knew that there are, you know, people who take it too far

00:26:27.060 and there's things that you know aren't done right but i know that we aren't one of them but

00:26:32.720 everyone i've talked to has said that so it's like who do you think it is if it's never the person if

00:26:38.620 it's never you if it's never you and i think that there are very clear things that border on child

00:26:47.680 abuse i want to go back to the ruby frankie story which we recently did an episode on all of the

00:26:54.280 updates there that is a woman who consistently posted videos of her disciplining her children 0.94

00:27:01.020 in abusive ways she was right out there for everyone to see what she was doing to her kids

00:27:06.800 she was getting millions of likes for those things until it went legally too far and i know 1.00

00:27:14.960 parenting is not all roses and sunshine and i get down on influencers all the time for only showing

00:27:22.200 the roses and sunshine right but then there is something in between roses and sunshine

00:27:28.940 and showing your kids take a poop or terrifying your children and pretending that and pretending

00:27:35.520 to drop them to make them cry yeah i mean there has to be right like there there has to be a way

00:27:42.700 to do something in the middle and i do think like again with this package that i'm working on i've

00:27:49.020 been talking to mom influencers who have like parenthood focused content but don't show their

00:27:54.040 kids and it's been like really fascinating because they still i think like in some cases i'd feel like

00:28:00.080 they share more about the experience of being a mother than these other influencers do of just

00:28:04.640 like you know perfectly posed pictures or whatever but they like are able to keep their kids out of

00:28:09.680 it and i just think that's like so interesting and we're seeing more of that um as this kind of

00:28:14.820 like cultural wave towards privacy increases but you know there is a way to do it because I see it

00:28:21.180 like I talk to these influencers who are parenthood creators but they don't show their kids or they

00:28:26.840 have really distinct lines and so there is a way to do it I think there is a way to do it are there

00:28:33.860 any accounts that you really like of parenting influencers who are mom influencers who are

00:28:39.340 parenting influencers who don't actually show their children yeah so i talked to annalee grace

00:28:45.140 and i think her at is annalee grace 15 and she has millions of followers on tiktok and instagram

00:28:52.380 and she shares about being a mom but like i don't even know how old her kids are like i think

00:28:56.600 they're like i know they're like under school age but like i don't know exactly and i don't know

00:29:02.620 their names i don't know what they look like but she'll share like sometimes she'll do like little

00:29:07.240 skits where she's like, are like little trends where she is kind of either like acting like her

00:29:14.080 kids or being like, you know, you know your mom when or whatever. And I see like all these people

00:29:19.620 like loving her content, but she doesn't show her kids at all. And then there's Lindsay Gurk

00:29:25.320 is also one of them. And she does like skits where she pretends to be her again, like I think

00:29:31.380 she has like a three-year-old and a five-year-old or I don't know, young children. And she'll be

00:29:36.160 like this is when I imagine the conversation between my three-year-old and one-year-old

00:29:39.900 is like and then she'll like act like each of them and it's so funny and it's like it's still

00:29:45.860 like stuff that's happening in her motherhood life and in her parenthood life but it's not her kids

00:29:51.680 right right I do think that there I think there's a way of doing this of sharing motherhood

00:29:58.320 without exploiting your children and that's what we should keep pushing for because make no mistake

00:30:05.840 these pranking videos they're i i think they have to be damaging if you if you purposely did anything

00:30:13.620 to make your child cry you're hurting your kid you just are there's i don't think there's i don't

00:30:18.880 think there's any any you know way around that um and and also if you're purposely posting pictures

00:30:28.980 of your children doing one of the most private things in the world which is not just going not

00:30:34.640 just going to the bathroom but learning to go to the bathroom i think about my bathroom struggles

00:30:39.240 all the time my main bathroom struggle in my house now is i don't want my kids to come in when i poop

00:30:45.360 right because for so long they were well at first they were in with me because right if you're alone

00:30:52.720 with a one-year-old you can't leave them outside the bathroom so they get very used to hanging out

00:30:58.900 with you in the potty but then they reach a certain age where they can be quasi alone in a room and

00:31:03.740 you're like get the hell out yeah like back off dude back off and so and so you're like i'm trying

00:31:10.920 to promote privacy and then how can you promote privacy when you're like bud i'm gonna take a

00:31:17.240 picture of you on the potty yeah that's the thing is like you know when you go like i used to work

00:31:23.060 at a preschool and like we would tell the kids like okay you know bathroom we have to give each

00:31:27.520 other privacy to go to the bathroom we have to shut the door and if we need help we have to ask

00:31:31.740 an adult and you know like the whole thing and like how would I explain to them that like they

00:31:35.720 need privacy in the bathroom but also I'm going to take pictures of them there's no there's no way

00:31:41.340 to do that there's just no there's no good way to do that I'll be so curious if if I actually speak

00:31:47.160 to the woman who runs the go diaper free account because I respect anyone that's trying trying to

00:31:54.080 help other moms but at the same time like you just said you can do it without without exploiting your 0.99

00:32:01.060 kids you can you can and like i love watching the ways that women are figuring out how to share 0.95

00:32:08.300 their journeys while not showing their kids because i think like especially in the u.s where 0.99

00:32:13.240 we're just like missing so much of like you know paid parental leave and like the village that

00:32:19.640 you're supposed to have to help you with children like i don't think women should just be like left

00:32:23.700 alone in the dark and not allowed to talk about parenthood like i don't think that at all but i

00:32:27.700 also think like there's a way to do it while like respecting your kids boundaries like

00:32:33.280 it's just so strange it's so strange it's so strange it only gets stranger

00:32:40.400 oh i'm just so glad that i'm all right number one i'm glad that you are here to talk me through 0.67

00:32:47.080 this today number two i will never fucking forgive you for sending me that diaper free 0.64

00:32:53.580 baby account i'm sorry i literally am so deep in this world that i see things all the time that 0.88

00:33:00.240 i'm like okay well i can't be the only one who knows about this no you can't when i picture you

00:33:06.000 sending me these things i picture the doctor in a lab that realizes a virus is about to take over

00:33:12.120 the world and they're like i can't be the only one who knows i've got to tell someone

00:33:16.860 yeah other people need to be alarmed other people other and now thank you thank you you alarmed me

00:33:24.560 you did indeed um i want you to tell everyone where they can find you and read all of your

00:33:29.540 amazing stuff because you're you're the best i love all of your content oh my gosh you're so

00:33:34.020 sweet um i am at hi fortessa everywhere uh twitter slash x um instagram i do a lot on tiktok

00:33:41.800 um and that h-i-f-o-r-t-e-s-a and i am obsessed with this world and i can't get over it so

00:33:50.960 if you have something that you want me to look into let me know and that is all we have for today

00:33:56.740 i'm just gonna say something and i really mean this i genuinely believe that these pranking

00:34:03.500 your kid videos are child abuse i do if you are purposely making your child cry which the

00:34:11.400 majority of parents are in these videos, you are hurting them. Now, the majority of things that we

00:34:17.820 see on social media are real BS. And we've talked about that before, right? You know, all of all of

00:34:24.100 the gentle parenting advice, all of these parent coach influencers. But I don't think that there

00:34:32.600 is a gray area in making a small human cry in scaring a child in upsetting a child they're

00:34:41.900 crying for a reason and that's my hard line i'm taking that hard line i think that these accounts

00:34:47.200 should be banned i think i do think that the platform should do a better job of taking them 0.98

00:34:52.840 the fuck down that's it i'm on my soapbox i'm on my soapbox and i'm not getting off no i'm sure not 0.96

00:35:02.260 thank you for joining us as always send me notes on the instagrams i'm at at joe piazza author 0.99

00:35:09.780 and please subscribe to our sub stack over the influence i'm giving away free subscriptions to

00:35:17.080 that for anyone who does pre-order sicilian inheritance because i'm just i'm just a marketing

00:35:23.340 monster that is what i am and it's okay i've accepted it after april i'll go to therapy for

00:35:30.500 it. But you know, sometimes we just have to, we just have to do the things. We have to do the

00:35:36.020 things. Thank you for listening. I appreciate all of you. Now I have to go. I have to go throw

00:35:42.180 some cheese at my fucking baby. 1.00

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - January 01, 2024

Pranking Babies and Posting Potty Training With Fortesa Latifi

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