Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Sunday Nice Things： You Probably Think This Story's About You

00:00:00.000 saying how you feel out loud is terrifying but that's what hinge's new free audiobook

00:00:07.140 no ordinary love is all about it's a collection of real love stories about five couples that met

00:00:15.200 on hinge the stories are written and read by temby dinton hurst nicola dinan curtis garner

00:00:20.700 raven smith and rufy thorpe i hunter harris wrote and read the forward the audiobook's out now give

00:00:27.940 it a listen. Welcome to Sunday Nice Things, my friends. Today we have a new show called

00:00:35.400 You Probably Think This Story's About You. You Probably Think This Story's About You

00:00:41.020 is an exploration of love, betrayal, and the far-reaching consequences of one man's deceit.

00:00:47.720 And it's all told through the eyes of the women whose lives were irrevocably changed

00:00:52.480 by it. Now I gotta tell you, I had a bad breakup in my early 30s. Some dude cheated on me with

00:01:01.380 something like 27 women. I didn't know how to make a podcast then, but I did write a very crappy

00:01:08.620 novel called Love Rehab that about 500 people have read. And it was, you know, pretty much

00:01:15.240 auto fiction that was loosely based on my own terrible dating life. Had there been a podcast

00:01:21.400 available, who knows what I would have done. Dating is hard. Dating apps are even harder,

00:01:29.420 and finding love is scary. In this podcast, the host Brittany Ard is taking listeners on a gripping

00:01:37.460 journey through her own quest for truth as she grapples with the shocking realization

00:01:41.780 of how deeply she was betrayed by a man she believed to be her soulmate.

00:01:46.560 If you enjoy this podcast, you can find it in all of the podcast places.

00:01:52.280 It is called You Probably Think This Story's About You.

00:02:16.560 I've got to come up with a way to summarize my life in like five words.

00:02:34.280 I went into that wanting the dream and ended up with a nightmare, but I had the very best

00:02:44.980 intentions. You probably think this story is about you. I'm Brittany Ard, and this story is mine.

00:02:56.020 i had been swiping and matching and going on first dates sort of all of june navigating dating apps

00:03:16.180 can be challenging constantly dodging the scammers and the catfishers and the guys trying to sell me

00:03:21.660 Bitcoin, Kanan's profile came up three different times. There was a lot more thought around his

00:03:34.960 profile than others. I would either swipe left or swipe right, and it was a pretty easy decision.

00:03:42.000 He was one where I clicked on all the pictures, read all the prompts.

00:03:47.420 For some reason, I was hesitant, but I was attracted, and I'm not sure if it was a look

00:03:56.840 in his eyes or if it was something that I could sense.

00:04:00.220 I don't know if it was the mood, his dimples, the prompts.

00:04:05.080 There was a mischievous grin in his main profile picture.

00:04:10.180 I couldn't tell if it was like comedy or something else. 1.00

00:04:17.420 Something about that fourth time that I saw him come through, I was like, okay, fuck it. 0.99

00:04:26.960 So I swiped right. 0.99

00:04:29.620 We went on a date within two days of matching.

00:04:35.540 And I, at the time, was doing a walk for all my first dates.

00:04:41.120 Kanan lived in Tacoma, and I was in Seattle.

00:04:44.380 I ended up going down to Tacoma to meet him because my best friend lives down there.

00:04:49.200 And I was like, we'll go on a walk and then I can meet my best friend for dinner.

00:04:52.500 You know, sort of kill two birds with one stone.

00:04:55.160 Every time I go on a date, I have to send her screenshots and like, this is the guy I'm seeing.

00:04:59.700 This is where we're meeting.

00:05:00.760 I will check in with you, you know, in an hour.

00:05:03.520 If not, like, come rescue me.

00:05:05.280 I actually got there early so that I could check out and see him arriving.

00:05:14.240 Within 30 seconds of me hitting that curb, he was behind me, tapping me on my shoulder.

00:05:21.220 I turned around and he said, can I interest you in some Bitcoin?

00:05:28.000 Mischievous smile, dimples, and he went in for a hug.

00:05:35.280 He is this gorgeous man that has so much charisma, very attractive.

00:05:44.880 He smelled amazing.

00:05:46.280 I don't know what he did to my olfactory senses.

00:05:51.520 So he's a dad, and his son plays football.

00:05:56.400 I have that connection with him.

00:05:59.060 My second youngest is a football player.

00:06:02.360 And so we had talked about how you navigate teens and athletic sports,

00:06:06.300 especially when they're trying to go to college for football.

00:06:11.000 He had played football in college and he got kicked off the team

00:06:14.280 and then he joined the Marines.

00:06:16.720 He had left the military at 16 years to come home and take care of his son.

00:06:22.220 So we were about halfway through our walk

00:06:23.800 and I usually like to ask people that have kids

00:06:28.080 what the relationship is with the exes

00:06:30.160 because it's either crazy or not crazy.

00:06:34.440 His ex-wife died by suicide and had been an addict.

00:06:41.000 That's why he was so involved in his son's life at this time

00:06:45.780 because after she passed, he came in and took on that role of mother and father.

00:06:51.680 it was just one more thing that I felt connected to I'm not ready to share that story with him

00:07:04.140 yet and he said you know I'm sorry did I kill the mood and I said no it's it's your story

00:07:15.240 I had told him that I had not been with anyone for a year that I had taken a year off

00:07:20.520 Canaan moved to the Pacific Northwest in January of that year and had gone on a couple of dates, but hadn't dated since March and had had a bad experience.

00:07:34.440 And it was the only woman he's ever had to block.

00:07:37.580 Finally, recently, his sister-in-law, Tasha, started this hinge dating account for him because she was really worried about how lonely he was.

00:07:49.900 And he had told me, he's like, yeah, she'll text me and be like, you got a rose.

00:07:54.620 You need to get online and respond.

00:07:56.960 As if she was getting the email notifications for his dating profile.

00:08:02.200 Because the sister-in-law and brother were so invested in finding him his person because he was so alone.

00:08:11.380 He talked about how it was really hard for him with the gloomy weather.

00:08:15.120 and I remember thinking that I needed to get him into, like, red light therapy

00:08:20.980 so that he would have enough sun and vitamin D to want to stay

00:08:25.540 because now that I had met him, I didn't want him leaving the Northwest.

00:08:31.440 The conversation kept getting better.

00:08:34.080 We ended up walking, I think, for two and a half hours.

00:08:37.400 His job is working with people in need

00:08:40.300 and helping them find the support for their illness.

00:08:44.580 He matches my giving and caring nature, all of the aspects of my life.

00:08:50.600 He has that same energy for himself and for other people.

00:08:56.580 I had found somebody that I would want to have a connection with.

00:09:03.280 I had totally lost track of time during our walk.

00:09:07.440 And when I realized that I was an hour late to meet my best friend, Anna,

00:09:11.840 I checked my phone, and I had missed a bunch of her text messages.

00:09:15.220 She's like, where are you?

00:09:16.660 And I was like, I'm okay.

00:09:18.040 I'm going to be late for dinner, but I can't wait to get there 0.99

00:09:20.480 because I think I'm going to let this guy fuck me up. 0.98

00:09:24.300 Like, I don't know what's going to happen, 1.00

00:09:26.100 but I'm totally going to let him fuck me up. 0.99

00:09:30.120 My name is Anna Love. 0.99

00:09:31.780 I am Brittany's best friend of 28 years.

00:09:35.940 I remember being miffed that your date with this guy had delayed our time at the Matador.

00:09:44.500 That's primary, like kind of what I recall from that day.

00:09:48.420 You know, being very excited for you, obviously, that you had found somebody that you, you know, really connected with.

00:09:53.740 And if that's the delay, then super.

00:09:56.220 But also, like, come on.

00:09:58.080 We have tacos.

00:09:58.680 We have tacos to eat and tequila and or rum to drink.

00:10:02.300 So let's get going.

00:10:03.320 And, you know, I remember being very excited for you that you had found somebody that you hit it off with.

00:10:09.280 The key things that I sort of remember was him commenting on your Nike Cortez, you know, and being, you know, kind of intrigued by that.

00:10:18.420 We were already planning our next date.

00:10:21.960 I texted him.

00:10:24.860 Do me a favor and tell Tasha thanks for me.

00:10:27.920 Hopefully I spelled that right.

00:10:29.220 trust me they're thanking you as well them being kendall and tasha t-a-s-y-a

00:10:39.160 oh that's much prettier than i spelled it

00:10:43.180 i think i'm just gonna flood you with a bunch of random facts about me

00:10:48.040 oh speaking of which fun fact number one all of my bakeware and tupperware are the results of me

00:10:54.700 not returning it to the original owners.

00:10:57.960 What do you want to know about me?

00:10:59.660 Or is lasagna the whole goal?

00:11:03.560 It's really important for me to ensure you're comfortable

00:11:06.120 leaving your lasagna pan with me for a few weeks.

00:11:09.560 A few weeks?

00:11:11.020 Red flag.

00:11:11.820 on our second date he was talking to me about how they wanted him to come to his son's school

00:11:29.820 and do some video recording it was national suicide prevention month and because his son's

00:11:40.260 mom had died by suicide, they wanted him to come and sort of tell this story. And he had talked

00:11:47.800 about how he didn't want to go and do it because he felt like he wasn't a good parent for the first

00:11:56.140 part of his son's life because he was in the military and always gone. And then he didn't

00:12:00.800 really step into a full parenting role until his son's mom passed. And that's when he stepped in

00:12:07.440 and sort of focused on his son and being the father that he kind of always wanted to be.

00:12:14.120 As we were talking about this, I told him that it sounded like imposter syndrome.

00:12:20.360 Like, do you feel like an imposter coming in, being this amazing dad now,

00:12:25.740 and like you don't deserve to have that recognition because you weren't there in the beginning?

00:12:30.820 And he was like, that's exactly what it feels like.

00:12:33.480 Like, I don't want to bring attention to myself because I feel like an imposter.

00:12:37.440 there's so many times in my life where I've felt like I'm faking it until I make it like I don't

00:12:48.580 really know what I'm doing but I'm I just keep trying or I just keep pushing through and there

00:12:54.260 are times when I feel like an imposter like I'm not meant to be in a situation and so

00:12:58.540 I actually didn't tell him any of that I just let him tell his story

00:13:03.700 you want to impress them on a first date but also play it cool so what do you do i'm rufy thorpe and

00:13:18.680 i wrote and read a real love story about a hinge couple that navigated exactly that

00:13:23.300 listen to the free audiobook now before you knew what a stock was you traded snacks cards

00:13:29.420 turns. That instinct to trade didn't disappear. It just grew up. With no minimums, no monthly fees

00:13:36.040 and 100 free trades, TD Easy Trade taps into that instinct. Because you are made to trade

00:13:41.780 and TD Easy Trade is made to help. There was nothing like spectacular about what we were doing

00:13:50.780 But on these walks, we got into really vulnerable conversations and I feel more connected to this person that I've had two dates with than I did with my ex-husband because he was sharing so many stories and vulnerable bits about his life.

00:14:13.680 And it was all from the place of, and I learned something from it, and I've grown, and I want to be a better person, or I've decided I've made the choice to move forward instead of looking back.

00:14:31.560 Were you ever, or are you, a cheater?

00:14:36.060 I wasn't a cheater, but I was a guy who used the fast tempo of the military to not ever get into anything serious.

00:14:43.680 Now, here I am at 40, and I haven't had those type of experiences, which sucks.

00:14:49.000 I perfected keeping people away.

00:14:51.180 And now, that I wouldn't mind the closeness, I don't know what that even looks like.

00:14:55.540 So I stumble awkwardly through it, and learn not to press it.

00:14:59.700 It'll happen when it's supposed to.

00:15:02.900 Thank you for being open and willing to share with me.

00:15:05.300 I don't cheat. It's a huge value of mine.

00:15:09.240 I am loyal to fault at times.

00:15:11.260 I've sacrificed a lot of me in the past to keep another person going.

00:15:15.620 I am not settling for anything less than a partner that I can trust with my whole last self.

00:15:22.420 I was already starting to write and sort of remember different parts about the date and conversations we were having because I wanted to put them on paper.

00:15:38.820 I wanted to remember the moments, but I also, I wanted a love story.

00:15:46.800 From the first date on, I was falling in love with that love story.

00:15:54.000 And I wanted to share it.

00:16:00.800 I like to write down all the experiences in my life.

00:16:04.100 And I talked to Kanan about us writing this book together to share our love story.

00:16:10.800 And this is his first chapter.

00:16:14.760 Babe, sorry it took so long.

00:16:17.060 Today was a shorter day.

00:16:18.240 And honestly, it's the first day in two weeks where I didn't have something else after work.

00:16:23.300 It feels good being able to pour that energy into you because you do the same for me.

00:16:27.860 I miss you every day.

00:16:30.460 Enjoy and don't judge my writing.

00:16:34.800 Fireworks, sparklers, explosions near and far.

00:16:39.160 These are common to the celebration of the 4th of July, but it's not even sundown. 0.99

00:16:44.040 And she's star-spangled bannering my shit. 0.99

00:16:47.480 He grinned and skipped across the street. 1.00

00:16:50.500 He was headed for the second date with her in a span of a few days.

00:16:55.280 Things are escalating quickly, and he's here for it.

00:16:59.320 She was unlike anyone he's ever met.

00:17:03.060 Seductive.

00:17:04.100 mysterious assertive passionate but tranquil all wrapped into one person

00:17:12.140 what kind of pacific northwest sorcery is this she's aware she's educated she's funny she's

00:17:21.420 well she's here as he sneaks up behind her while she glares out at the sound as they stepped off

00:17:28.280 in pursuit of a magical conversation over another ten thousand steps. Damn, I want to co-parent a 0.99

00:17:34.880 plant with this woman. Play it cool. We both spot an empty bench facing our version of the Mona Lisa. 1.00

00:17:42.780 Yeah, you guessed it. Water. We sat quietly as she started to dump it all, and I mean all.

00:17:51.920 The hesitations in her voice hovered over him like a cumulus cloud, or whichever one brings those torrential downpours.

00:18:00.540 Two and a half hours passed by so quickly.

00:18:03.960 He walked her to her vehicle like a gentleman should.

00:18:07.540 Another skipped heartbeat.

00:18:10.100 Of course, she reversed into the parking stall. 0.97

00:18:13.780 Who is this woman? 0.99

00:18:15.580 They start making out again without a care in the world of who's around.

00:18:20.060 They both jumped and shuffled quickly, as unknowingly the impromptu make-out session blocked the adjacent car from leaving.

00:18:27.960 They both giggled, and without hesitation in a soft voice, she said, 0.82

00:18:32.700 Oops, sorry, this is dating at 40.

00:18:36.680 They laughed, and he dived in once more for a departing kiss on her freckles.

00:18:43.040 Yes, we are definitely going to co-parent a plant, he thought as he drove away.

00:18:50.060 So I have freckles everywhere. From sort of the beginning, he just started calling me freckles. And so many times in text messages, it was always freckles this or can't wait to kiss all your freckles.

00:19:05.660 When somebody just calls you baby or babe or whatever, it's adorable, but it's very generic.

00:19:12.800 And so for Kanan to say, good night, freckles, it really, it hit because that's what I look like.

00:19:21.560 Kanan had an incredible way of making me feel comfortable in my skin.

00:19:27.780 There were no insecurities that I had with myself when I was with him.

00:19:33.600 It didn't matter that I had had kids or that maybe my body wasn't perfect.

00:19:39.840 There was no shame that I carried in myself when I was with him.

00:19:44.920 We're going to take a quick break here. Be right back.

00:19:52.880 I had decided to introduce Kanan to my friends and my daughter, Brianna.

00:19:58.960 We had decided to go to this concert.

00:20:01.580 it felt like the right time to see if he could handle the group.

00:20:09.160 During the concert, it was all outdoor.

00:20:13.020 We were on large picnic benches, and Kanan and I were on the same side.

00:20:18.980 I don't normally bring guys I'm dating around in the friendship circle,

00:20:24.420 unless I think that they can survive, all of us.

00:20:30.700 You know, and a lot of it is that we have all been friends for over 20 years.

00:20:36.080 Here's what my best friend Anna thought.

00:20:38.540 Well, I went in expecting to get initial impressions and I, you know, sort of tasked Francisco with his gathering of information because he's a pretty good judge of character and also loves you very much and wants to see the best for you.

00:20:54.620 Francisco is another longtime friend of mine.

00:20:56.700 So I came in kind of, I just wanted to sort of gauge if he thought you were as amazing as we all think you are.

00:21:06.560 And, you know, and if he then deserved to be in your presence.

00:21:10.940 He's very handsome, very good looking guy, presents really well.

00:21:15.900 And I thought, how amazing for my best friend to find somebody that she finds so physically attractive and mentally attractive and emotionally attractive.

00:21:26.700 He was very intrigued by you asking me questions about, you know, what it was that he needed to do to remain in your good graces.

00:21:35.120 And I basically told him, you know, she's amazing and you're right for wanting to stay in her good graces.

00:21:42.820 I was sitting in between his legs and he had his arms around me the entire time.

00:21:49.340 Other than a couple trips to the bathroom, we were sitting together on the picnic bench,

00:21:55.540 smushed together with his arms around me.

00:21:58.380 I had passed him a note.

00:22:00.040 A lot of it was him like whispering in my ear.

00:22:03.480 Here's Brianna.

00:22:04.720 I am Brittany's first and most important daughter.

00:22:08.440 Well, only daughter, I guess.

00:22:09.900 So I'll take that.

00:22:11.000 So you met him essentially on our like fourth date.

00:22:15.840 it was one of the first times i'd see you be more um touchy-feely with someone

00:22:21.660 both or really in public or in front of me i feel like we're families not a huge pda family really

00:22:28.640 in general kind of at any level we don't that's just not happening it wasn't even anything crazy

00:22:34.180 but like kind of just constantly in contact with each other like there was you were leaning on him

00:22:40.720 a lot or like arms around, giddly laugh, cutesy eyes. But it was definitely the first time that

00:22:46.680 I'd seen kind of more of the like physical contact in like in public. But to really be like out at a

00:22:53.960 bar and kind of see you doing that was the biggest thing that I noticed. He's an attractive guy.

00:22:58.700 They're having a good time over there. Like this all seems like good vibes. I feel like especially

00:23:02.480 coming out of your divorce and this is your first time dating, it was just like, oh, this is like,

00:23:07.960 yeah you're enjoying yourself you're having a good time i might have then i was drawn and smoked a

00:23:13.480 lot that day so there was some of that day gets a little it's just a little fuzzy for me he seemed

00:23:20.940 you know for all purposes to be like a really upstanding guy he seemed very charismatic and

00:23:26.980 very much enamored with britney which you know made sense to me like why wouldn't he be

00:23:34.220 I want to date with Rawls, Carty says.

00:23:45.240 Rawls? Rocker asks.

00:23:47.400 This is the love story of real hinge couple Carty and Rocker.

00:23:51.460 Written and read by me, Nicola Dinan.

00:23:54.220 Listen to the free audiobook now.

00:23:58.820 Before you knew what a stock was,

00:24:00.700 you traded snacks, cards, turns,

00:24:04.220 you knew what something was worth because you felt it that instinct to trade didn't disappear

00:24:10.120 it just grew up td easy trade taps into that instinct so you can build something real for

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00:24:34.220 my beach house is my happy place we decided to go out for the weekend it is where i have spent

00:24:44.040 the last 25 summers and as much time as i possibly can the rest of the year it is just this beautiful

00:24:53.460 salt water canal that is lined with beach houses and fresh oysters and clams

00:25:02.380 I went out the day before and he came out after work on Friday and we spent the weekend out there

00:25:11.780 but we had made plans um to go to the drive-in because he had never been

00:25:15.540 I did the whole back of the truck

00:25:19.140 mattress snacks and blankets and you know all of that stuff can't afford to make exceptions

00:25:27.680 I mean once word leaks out that a pirate has gone soft people begin to disobey you and then

00:25:31.520 It's nothing but work, work, work all the time.

00:25:33.740 You mock my pain.

00:25:35.280 Life is a pain, Heidi.

00:25:36.280 I'm pretty sure I fell asleep because it's so cozy and comfortable to be in the back of a truck cuddled up to this amazing man.

00:25:42.560 He said, please.

00:25:44.940 Please, I need to live.

00:25:47.720 It was the please that caught my memory.

00:25:50.500 I asked him what was so important for him.

00:25:53.480 True love, he replied.

00:26:01.520 I think he was insecure about his ability to have a solid relationship because he didn't feel like he had had one before. 0.98

00:26:12.140 He said, I am so terrified that you are going to find out about how much of a jerk I used to be and you're not going to want to be with me anymore. 0.98

00:26:24.080 He said, I've worked so hard to not be that person anymore. 0.99

00:26:28.360 there was a story where he met a woman at a bar

00:26:35.280 and took her back to his brother's house

00:26:37.160 trying to pass off his brother's house as his own 1.00

00:26:39.980 but the woman actually knew his sister-in-law

00:26:43.140 so she knew that it wasn't his house 1.00

00:26:46.620 but he still hooked up with her.

00:26:50.520 When he looked me in the eyes

00:26:53.860 and I could see the fear of rejection

00:26:57.960 or maybe not seeing him for who he was today.

00:27:03.740 I told him that I am with who he is now,

00:27:08.140 that what's happened in the past doesn't matter,

00:27:11.460 and the man that I want to be with

00:27:15.100 is the one that is standing in front of me now.

00:27:21.160 We both felt like we had finally found the person

00:27:27.080 that we wanted to be with and that we were in places in our lives

00:27:31.900 where we were able to be open and vulnerable with each other

00:27:35.240 and really get rid of the bullshit that came with our past lives

00:27:46.640 and the baggage and just focus on who we were to each other 0.96

00:27:51.820 in that moment moving forward.

00:27:54.220 out at the beach house i had recently purchased the property across the street and it was a like

00:28:03.860 lot of acreage and my intent was to create an event space and sort of this campground area

00:28:11.340 after we had gone there he always talked about being my park ranger that he wanted a little

00:28:16.060 booth at the front and he would just sit in there and you know he was going to be my park ranger

00:28:21.720 so Kanan and I grew so close in five months and I couldn't believe that we had spent almost a half

00:28:34.620 a year together we were talking about all the things that we were going to do when football

00:28:39.260 season stopped and we had more time I got tickets to LA for Brianna Anna and I and decided that

00:28:46.620 Kanan should come and meet more of my family, spend time with us so that he could feel comfortable

00:28:52.700 stepping into this role as my new park ranger. We got on the plane.

00:29:02.620 He reached into his carry-on bag and pulled out this book that he gave to me. And this book was

00:29:12.620 cartoon characters of him and I on the dates and adventures that we had been on over the last five

00:29:20.800 months. On one of the pages, it was a picture of me and him lying in bed. And he said, I love how

00:29:26.540 romantic you are. You're everything I ever dreamt of. And my response was, well, let's just hope

00:29:32.080 we're really not heavily medicated in an insane asylum. I had made that comment one time in bed.

00:29:37.500 the very last page of the book was, this book lists just a few of the reasons why I didn't

00:29:45.080 sell you Bitcoin. I can't wait to spend my life discovering more and more reasons to love you.

00:29:51.620 Here's how my best friend Anna described it. I think that anybody putting forth the type of

00:29:57.980 effort that you put forth into a relationship because you make everybody feel very special.

00:30:04.880 so I think for you that that book was like somebody is putting forth the effort into me

00:30:11.000 that I put into everybody else it's such a simple thing a moment at some point three weeks before

00:30:19.140 to plan it and to do it so that was the start of our trip which was amazing and then the show

00:30:27.540 we had a great time at the show what was it like traveling with us and that that whole experience

00:30:34.880 That experience, it was pretty awesome.

00:30:37.640 I finally got to spend some time with him and actually engage and find out who he was.

00:30:43.340 He talked about his career path, which I found to be very impressive.

00:30:47.660 It was like really amazing what he, you know, the work that he was doing and why he was doing it.

00:30:53.080 So I think that the sort of the initial questions started to arise when your cousin Greg started asking questions at dinner.

00:31:04.880 and we're at this great spot in manhattan beach where you just sort of order small dishes we had

00:31:15.100 like 20 different overabundance when greg is ordering yes that's what's going to happen

00:31:20.860 greg is my dad's age they're cousins i frequently go to la just to stay for a couple days at his

00:31:29.180 place and we go to dinner and we spend a lot of time together talking. His opinion matters so much

00:31:36.820 on who I connect with and who I bring around, especially after the two failed marriages.

00:31:44.020 We were at one of those long tables with bench-like seating and Greg, Brianna, and Anna were on one

00:31:50.860 side and Kanan and I were on the other. As we usually did, we were sitting as close as we could

00:31:57.240 to each other thigh to thigh and he had his phone in his pocket and it was vibrating constantly

00:32:05.440 notifications just constantly and I understand being polite and not pulling your phone out at

00:32:14.360 dinner and like whatever but we have children and when your phone goes off non-stop like you check

00:32:22.900 at some point. At one point, he excused himself and went to the bathroom.

00:32:30.960 In my brain, I was like, he's checking his phone, something's off, didn't say anything.

00:32:36.660 And then later that night, we were on Greg's patio. And I remember looking over at the two

00:32:45.120 of them talking. And initially, it's like, oh, I'm so glad Greg is really important to me,

00:32:50.680 close to me. And then Greg asking more involved questions and there were some questions that came

00:32:59.260 up where we were sort of shooting looks at each other across the table like well that's different

00:33:03.600 than anything that I've heard you tell me before. He brought up his time in the military and then

00:33:09.380 Greg just is Greg and he dives deep into whoever he's talking to. He really tries to get to know

00:33:15.720 people. So he was asking him questions about his time in the military, why he left, his work,

00:33:23.640 about his ex-wife. And it's really for Greg about getting to know somebody closely.

00:33:32.760 Kanan fell into that conversation so comfortably with Greg that we ended up talking for a couple

00:33:40.200 hours that night. My daughter Bree remembered the details. And it got into more of the

00:33:45.560 specifics of her dying and the drug abuse and a drug was soon like oh if this is too much

00:33:51.480 it was dating into like some pretty like intense details about like going through addiction and

00:33:58.440 having to deal with that and deal with that with his son around her addiction i mean there was a

00:34:03.100 lot of it was a long time that we were talking about it they were descriptive stories like there

00:34:09.200 was a lot of depth to it i mean i think we were in the living room talking for like another hour

00:34:14.180 or two after dinner, and I remember feeling like it was heavy and feeling like it was

00:34:18.320 intense. I think I was jumping in and taught to Greg about it, too, because, I mean, that's

00:34:22.600 why my relationship ended previously, was drug abuse and use and kind of things around

00:34:28.460 that. So I remember us getting to really a deep kind of personal level about those issues.

00:34:35.480 The story that Kanan was telling in that moment was not the same story that I had heard before.

00:34:40.920 the details of the story that he was telling were different than he had told me previously and

00:34:49.160 it was similar enough that it made sense but I also started questioning the story he told me

00:34:59.460 or which story do I believe I remember watching Kanan and Greg talking and

00:35:10.900 And Kanan's everything started to change.

00:35:17.080 How he was sitting, how he was crossing his legs, his tone in his voice.

00:35:22.740 And he started mirroring Greg.

00:35:27.940 And it was incredible to watch.

00:35:32.060 And it didn't make any sense to me because it wasn't how he had ever talked to me.

00:35:39.580 I had never seen this side of him.

00:35:44.620 That with the phone and sort of some of the other stuff

00:35:49.080 was for sure the first time that I really started questioning all of it.

00:35:56.920 That entire trip was when he just unraveled.

00:36:09.580 you probably think the stories about you is a production of large media that's l-a-r-j media

00:36:19.640 our executive producer is britney yard our showrunner is sid gladu creative direction by

00:36:24.940 tina noel our associate producer is kareen kiltao sound engineering by chris young and sean simmons

00:36:30.580 graphic design by najella shama opening theme by youth star and miscellaneous if you want to know

00:36:36.520 more about Brit, follow her on social media. You can find her at britney.ard on all platforms.

00:36:43.020 If you like what we're doing, don't forget to hit that follow button wherever you're listening to

00:36:46.900 this podcast right now. And also, give us a rate or review on Apple Podcast or Spotify.

00:36:53.000 You matched on Hinge. You're vibing. Then her energy completely changes. What do you do?

00:36:59.660 I'm Raven Smith, and I wrote and read a real love story about this exact sitch.

00:37:04.060 Listen to the free audio book now.

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - June 23, 2024

Sunday Nice Things： You Probably Think This Story's About You

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