Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Victoria Hunter's Viral Tradwife Video

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00:01:40.260 week. Grab it now. Hello, everyone. I am Jo Piazza, and you are listening to Under the Influence,

00:01:53.840 the podcast that asks, what the hell is social media doing to our brains? And why do we let it?

00:02:00.640 I mean, sometimes we ask that, and sometimes we just shoot the shit, which we can do because, 0.99

00:02:05.220 you know what? This is my damn podcast, and I'm going to do what I want. 0.99

00:02:10.040 I'm so happy to have you here today to listen to my guest, Victoria Hunter. 0.99

00:02:15.580 Victoria went unexpectedly viral on Instagram after she posted a video about her life as an 0.96

00:02:24.440 untraditional trad wife. You heard that right, an untraditional trad wife. See, at first glance, 0.99

00:02:33.720 if you look at Victoria's Instagram account, you may think, oh my gosh, that is so classic trad

00:02:40.440 wife. She is clearly one of the evangelical Christian homesteader, homeschoolers, submissive

00:02:47.520 to her husband. You know those ladies. But, but looks can be deceiving. And that is something 0.95

00:02:56.480 that we always need to remember with social media. What you see is not always what you're

00:03:03.940 going to get. So in a post with the hashtag traditional style, not traditional values,

00:03:11.300 Victoria delivers her values. She says, I take medication for my mental health.

00:03:18.660 I don't believe that modest dressing makes you a better or worse person.

00:03:23.640 Trans rights are human rights.

00:03:25.980 I'm also bisexual.

00:03:28.180 My husband does all the cooking.

00:03:30.460 All of these things that people wouldn't expect a so-called trad wife to say.

00:03:36.140 Now, Victoria was as surprised as anyone was when this went viral and all of a sudden her followers skyrocketed.

00:03:45.280 And at the end of the day, it was beneficial to her, too.

00:03:49.240 Because Victoria wants to be a sort of influencer, but not a tradwife influencer.

00:03:54.360 Victoria wants to talk about her autism diagnosis.

00:03:58.760 She wants to talk about what it is like to be a woman with autism, what it is like to

00:04:02.720 be a mother with autism.

00:04:04.520 And this strangely viral video finally allowed her to do that.

00:04:09.640 Today we're going to talk about all of it.

00:04:11.160 We're going to talk about dressing like a pilgrim and what people assume about you when

00:04:17.100 you do that.

00:04:18.580 We're also going to chat about talking about autism online, and the kind of toxic hatred

00:04:22.720 that brings up.

00:04:24.020 We've got a lot to dig into.

00:04:25.640 This episode takes a lot of twists and turns, and it surprised even me.

00:04:30.280 I had no idea where this was going to go.

00:04:33.440 All right, so, Victoria, I want to start by having you, I want you to explain the viral

00:04:40.100 moment that happened for you.

00:04:42.180 I like to call it your trad wife viral moment.

00:04:45.880 Can you tell me a little bit about that?

00:04:48.580 I am not the type of person who should go viral I don't know I feel like I'm not interesting enough

00:04:56.180 but I basically made this video of me standing in my kitchen and I was dressed in my like

00:05:05.380 classic attire I love a good long dress I love some pilgrim clothes so I was standing in my

00:05:13.540 kitchen and I thought it would be absolutely hilarious if I just started saying things

00:05:18.540 that a lot of people in the homesteader community and like, um, like mom influencer community would

00:05:27.280 think are really offensive, but they're also just facts about myself. Right. Well, also,

00:05:33.460 also pause for a second because you sometimes dress like a pilgrim. Um, people seem to think

00:05:38.700 that you might be a trad wife, right? That's something that happens all the time. And I think 0.90

00:05:43.320 part of it is sort of because of the company I keep like I've been friends with more traditional

00:05:48.460 influencers and so I often get associated and I so many times I have to give disclaimers which

00:05:58.240 is kind of what caused this video um and people assume like whenever I do a Q&A people are always

00:06:04.560 like oh what kind of Christian are you like oh like what church do you go to like oh my gosh

00:06:10.400 what are your like fundamental beliefs and i'm like um i'm not thinking about it that way i'm

00:06:15.960 just autistic i just like what i like and i just i found it really funny that people always ask me

00:06:24.080 this question so i thought you know what i'm just gonna make a video showing you those are not the

00:06:29.660 things so those are not things yeah so so yeah so say so you're like and you're in you're in you

00:06:37.600 know a creepy ghostly pilgrim nightgown and you say all of the things that that probably are

00:06:45.000 antithetical to a trad wife right oh absolutely like i the the thing i wasn't expecting was just

00:06:53.360 so many people commenting saying oh my god finally because people love the aesthetic but not the

00:07:01.020 values that come alongside and that's like how i feel and i felt like i loved the like the look

00:07:07.280 of the lives of these women these trad wives online and i just did not want the other things

00:07:16.240 that came along with that life right right and so what did you say you're like hey uh yeah yeah

00:07:22.920 i like this nightgown but i'm also bisexual yeah like it was like i'm bisexual my husband does most

00:07:30.400 of the cooking like I mentioned that we homeschool in one of the videos but not for the reasons that

00:07:37.080 I think most trad wives homeschool I want to expose my kids to a lot more than the public 0.87

00:07:43.940 school system would expose them to and like have a lot more hands-on learning it's more of like a 0.98

00:07:49.080 Montessori type thing I'm looking for versus like sitting in a desk and writing down stuff all day

00:07:56.020 um it's not for religious reasons it's more for like i want my kids to experience hands-on learning

00:08:04.040 and so this went crazy viral this is how i found you everyone was passing this around

00:08:12.060 and people sent it to me did your account go crazy after this

00:08:17.220 oh it fully did i think i had like 1800 followers one day and i woke up the next

00:08:24.820 day and I had like 12,000. It was kind of nuts. So that's crazy. And did you, going into this,

00:08:35.120 did you want to be an influencer? Were you aspiring to be an influencer? Talk to me about that.

00:08:43.440 That's a complicated question. I think that there was a point where I did. And so I've mentioned

00:08:52.580 before that I'm autistic. And before I was diagnosed, I was going through really huge

00:08:58.960 waves of burnout. So I would try to be this influencer and try to make content the way

00:09:05.100 other people were making it. And what I realize now is that's just a lot of like really heavy

00:09:09.620 masking on my part. It felt like, oh, I'm trying to be this different version of me, but it wasn't

00:09:15.160 a version of me. It was just me mirroring other people that I saw online. And so cutting that out

00:09:21.980 and trying to be my most authentic self I think that video that went so viral that was my moment

00:09:28.760 of clarity I think where I was like oh damn okay I am I'm always going to be the person that's like

00:09:35.200 I might look like I'm this person I might look like the trad wife but I guarantee you fundamentally

00:09:41.980 I am not that person and I think that that's like a really good metaphor for my life where I'm kind

00:09:47.900 of like, you may look at me and think one thing, but I guarantee you, I'm not what you're thinking.

00:09:54.180 Well, and so this episode isn't what our audience is going to think. And I love that because I,

00:09:59.660 I messaged you saying, hey, you had this weird shit go viral. And let's talk about that. 0.99

00:10:06.540 And then when I started talking to you, you're like, well, let me tell you about how I'm autistic

00:10:11.160 and how that manifests for me on social media and I'm like well that is way more interesting 0.94

00:10:18.580 than trad wives yeah so it's weird because I feel like a lot of the trad wife movement

00:10:27.860 is kind of focused around like suppressing your emotions suppressing your frustrations

00:10:34.480 you know handing everything over to God and like not going to therapy even though you clearly need

00:10:40.320 to go to therapy and everything I stand for is the opposite of that which is so funny because I

00:10:49.220 look like this super fundamentalist Christian like out feeding the chickens you know but I'm

00:10:57.120 like I live in the middle of a city I am terrible at cooking honestly like I can cook but I'm not 0.94

00:11:03.900 like pulling out recipe books every five seconds and making like homemade sourdough although I am

00:11:09.720 starting to try to do homemade sourdough ironically but like I'm not I'm not this perfect homesteading

00:11:18.160 wife like my husband and I it's such a funny joke for us because when we first met I had this thing

00:11:25.660 I used to say to him like this is why people think you're gay Brendan because everyone thought he was

00:11:30.800 gay when we first met and the ironic thing here is that I'm the bisexual one and he's super straight

00:11:36.000 so like he he gives off very feminine energy and I give off very masculine energy in a lot of ways 0.77

00:11:42.640 even though I dress very femininely but I'm like out fixing the car and like fixing our plumbing

00:11:47.800 and doing home renovations and he's like cool I'll watch the kids great I love that that is my goal

00:11:54.460 in life it's pretty nice we balance each other out really well and I think a lot of people expect

00:12:01.660 because I'm a stay-at-home mom and like I think a lot of people expect me to be like oh serve

00:12:08.580 your husband obey and I'm like no I although I do wear skirts and dresses I definitely wear the

00:12:16.080 pants I think and and yeah I you were saying that you know when you were first on social media when

00:12:27.220 you were first scrolling social media, that it was hard for you to pick up on some of the cues

00:12:32.920 and the nuance because of your autism. Can you chat with me about that? Yeah. So for me,

00:12:41.040 I didn't, so I was only newly diagnosed last year and it opened up so many different ways

00:12:48.440 for me to understand myself. And one of the things like the little like exploding brain moments,

00:12:55.400 I was like oh my god wait a second other people aren't living these perfect lives it's like oh

00:13:03.080 I'm filtering my life this is only a tiny fraction of what my life actually looks like and I

00:13:09.880 for me as someone who couldn't decipher what was genuine and what was like pushed content

00:13:16.020 and advertisement I found it really hard to look at these like big big influencers like

00:13:22.640 you know like sarah theresa for example and like ballerina farms like oh my gosh i was looking at

00:13:30.840 that like is that what your life looks like like holy shit i wish my life looked like that but

00:13:37.140 right right and you just you just assumed it was very straightforward you're like this is exactly

00:13:40.880 what their life must be like why would that why would any of this be cloak and daggers or smoke

00:13:46.360 and mirrors cloak and daggers isn't the right word although that would be fun a ballerina farm caper

00:13:52.060 yeah exactly um yeah so i think like okay i did a little bit of research on ballerina farms

00:14:00.120 recently because there's so much controversy and i was looking at this beautiful simplistic

00:14:05.620 like homesteader wife living off the land type content realizing she comes from a multi-million

00:14:13.380 dollar family yes yes and that is something that is not disclosed up front and like should it be

00:14:22.920 i don't fucking know um but i do know i do know that a lot of people who follow her who consume 0.62

00:14:29.340 her content feel like she in many posts is like cosplaying poverty um and not revealing that they 0.96

00:14:36.940 are the heirs to the jet blue fortune abso-freaking-lutely that is the best way i've heard 1.00

00:14:44.740 that put is cosplaying poverty and it is it it drives me insane because all these women like 0.99

00:14:51.540 so okay i grew up extremely poor like dirt poor like i guess you're in america so like food stamps 1.00

00:15:00.600 would be the equivalent but we like grew up on like social security you know like we

00:15:05.360 we did not have money and so I learned a lot of these skills as a way to survive rather than like

00:15:12.620 you know show up on the internet and be like look what I can make clearly I learned how to sew when

00:15:20.440 I was four years old and I learned how to make things last because I had to that's what poverty

00:15:25.880 he does to you and now i see all these influencers with like like millions of dollars hundreds of

00:15:33.500 thousands of dollars pretending that they're pinching pennies because they have to when it's

00:15:42.020 actually just an aesthetic and as someone i feel like they're appropriating poverty in a really

00:15:49.860 weird way that makes me uncomfortable if that makes any sense yes yes that's the thing they

00:15:56.740 are indeed appropriating poverty that's that's actually that's actually the best way that i've

00:16:02.440 i've heard it heard it said and i do think that for people just casually scrolling through

00:16:09.780 why would you ever question that like you why would you why would you why would you need to

00:16:15.000 know that background. And my argument is always, if someone has 8.5 million followers, then you

00:16:20.420 should be pretty upfront about where you're coming from and check your goddamn privilege. 0.96

00:16:25.860 I mean, I try to check my privilege and I have like, I don't have a big, massive audience. 0.98

00:16:31.600 And so that's, that's always, that's my issue with a lot of these accounts.

00:16:36.540 So you're also very upfront on your account about being autistic.

00:16:44.100 And that's awesome.

00:16:46.740 And that must help so many people.

00:16:48.780 I want to take a quick break and then I want to dive into that.

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00:17:57.920 okay so we're back you have been very upfront on on your instagram account and your social media

00:18:09.200 about your autism diagnosis and there is there is a huge autism community on instagram and i want

00:18:18.840 to hear about you know how your audience responds to to your honesty about it so i think if there's

00:18:26.440 one thing you can count on the autistics for it's honesty we take things very literally

00:18:32.380 and um it see i i don't even know i feel like i have really bad imposter syndrome so like within

00:18:42.740 my own autism i'm like wait am i autistic or am i just weird i'm like no i've literally been

00:18:48.120 diagnosed with autism of course i'm autistic but there's so much nuance within autism itself

00:18:56.040 because obviously it's a spectrum. So a lot of people think of autism as like a straight line

00:19:01.060 spectrum, like linear. It's not. It's more like a pie chart and you get different size slices for

00:19:07.840 different things that affect you in different ways. So for me, a lot of people I think would

00:19:12.560 describe me as high functioning, but I think the autism community as a collective, we're trying to

00:19:19.120 do away with terms like that so um I would say I'm like low support needs so online I talk a lot

00:19:26.720 about high masking autism which is what I would have and my community I think it's a lot of moms

00:19:33.980 who their children were diagnosed and then they look at their kids being like oh well that's what

00:19:40.500 I did when I was a kid then they're like oh wait a second wait a second maybe I'm autistic

00:19:46.820 wait ding ding ding ding ding exactly and that's what happened to me my daughter was diagnosed

00:19:54.960 with autism and i was like wait but i i was like i was for sure thinking she was fine because you

00:19:59.740 know like that's all the stuff i did when i was a kid and i was a little bit delayed and then my

00:20:03.020 doctor just kind of stared at me for a second he goes yep yeah so it's genetic and then it took me

00:20:12.360 a second to be like oh oh shit oh oh my god you think i'm autistic and he was like yep he's like 0.69

00:20:19.880 yes i do my friend yes i do yeah so anyway i went through the testing turns out yes i am autistic 0.97

00:20:29.100 wow wow yeah and and and so what kind of community have you found on social media

00:20:36.740 of other women with autism it's a lot of moms honestly with neurodivergent kids who are

00:20:45.980 struggling and that's something like I feel a little bit afraid to talk about online because

00:20:53.260 as you know I keep my kids kind of private I posted my kids until they were about one year

00:20:57.800 old and then kind of closed that door because I mean all babies kind of just like fat potatoes

00:21:04.260 but totally well they all look like fat potato they all look like fat potatoes or winston 0.93

00:21:09.280 churchill like all white all white babies look like winston churchill let's be honest about that 0.89

00:21:13.700 oh my god they so do so for me i found like keeping my kids private means like not sharing 0.57

00:21:23.220 a whole bunch of their you know medical information and as much as i don't think she

00:21:28.900 will mind later in life I want to keep you know some of her life private online Charlotte my

00:21:34.980 daughter I share that she's autistic but I don't really share my day-to-day struggles because I

00:21:41.000 don't think that it's fair for me to be like oh Charlotte had a giant meltdown today over something

00:21:46.460 dumb you know it's that's her private life and I think that that's not very fair for me to do

00:21:52.400 so I don't really share a whole lot of my parental struggle but the day-to-day having 0.96

00:21:58.320 an autistic child even though i think a lot of people would say she's like medium to low support

00:22:04.160 need um she i think she has something also called pda which i have it's called pathological demand

00:22:12.540 avoidance and it's basically when somebody says oh you have to do this immediately your brain goes 0.53

00:22:18.660 oh absolutely fucking not oh interesting i've never heard of this yeah it's it's actually it's

00:22:27.060 very common in autism, um, and ADHD. So a lot of people with either ADHD or autism will experience 0.98

00:22:34.220 pathological demand avoidance. It's also very common for three-year-olds. So, you know, it's

00:22:38.460 kind of hard to know. Um, but I still do this where like, if someone tells me I have to watch

00:22:43.920 this new awesome upcoming show, my brain immediately is like, well, now I can't do it

00:22:48.500 because you said I have to. Interesting. Yeah. Interesting. And so, yeah, talk to me about how

00:22:59.060 this community functions, how this community functions on social. And also, what kinds of

00:23:05.340 things do you want to show in your account that make people understand autism better?

00:23:11.540 so for my community a lot of it is moms messaging me saying oh my god I can't believe there's more

00:23:21.840 people like this or after watching some of your content I think I might be autistic 0.99

00:23:27.220 or my child was just diagnosed and I'm looking at my husband like oh damn he's got the tism 0.71

00:23:33.680 it came from one of us and it's not me so I think it's a lot of people finally realizing 0.96

00:23:40.880 oh my brain works like that oh my gosh like this whole time I didn't know this and that's my brain

00:23:47.480 my brain's doing that thing and like I recently made a video about gestalt processing which I got

00:23:53.560 like all the neurotypicals all in the comments are like everybody does this and I'm like uh if

00:23:58.520 your brain does this exclusively you should probably get you know get tested for autism 0.53

00:24:03.700 wait tell me what this is I didn't I didn't see this video so gestalt processing it's um

00:24:10.640 it's like a language processing. It's how people develop language. So there's different types of

00:24:16.000 processing that every brain has. And a lot of people, especially children go through gestalt

00:24:21.040 processing when they're learning about concepts and language. But the difference is that autistic 0.53

00:24:27.080 people often don't grow out of that stage. So gestalt, it's like, do you know what a gestalt 0.97

00:24:32.820 shift is? You know, like the picture of the rabbit and the duck. Have you seen the one?

00:24:36.840 Yes. Okay. Yeah. You can kind of flip between the two. So gestalt, it's like the term itself

00:24:43.540 means like seeing something as its whole first before you break it down into pieces. So seeing

00:24:50.360 something as its whole versus seeing something as the sum of its parts. So people at the gestalt

00:24:56.300 processing or gestalt learning, gestalt language processing, it's when you see something and you

00:25:02.320 think oh okay and you just kind of accept it as its whole versus oh I can see how all these things

00:25:08.780 go together I can see how like this word breaks down into smaller words and creates that meaning

00:25:14.540 you know so like the word cooperate is my good example like I I think of it like oh okay I know

00:25:21.160 what cooperating is done but the word is to cooperate so working together we are going to

00:25:29.540 take one more quick break here. And when we get back, I want to hear about whether or not Victoria's

00:25:34.000 actually gotten nasty comments about the things she said online about autism. Be right back.

00:25:45.560 I don't think I can be your friend, Isabella said. Rebecca's stomach flipped. This is the

00:25:51.700 love story of real hinge couple Isabella and Rebecca, written and read by me, Temi Denton-Hurst.

00:25:57.260 Listen to the free audiobook now.

00:26:05.200 And we're back.

00:26:06.780 Do you also, do you ever get nasty comments when you talk about autism on your account? 0.99

00:26:13.720 All the damn time. 0.97

00:26:15.860 I get a lot of people saying, oh, everything's just autism now. 0.99

00:26:20.800 Or, wow, I can't wait for this autism fad to die out.

00:26:24.820 or yeah sure okay you look super autistic it's like yeah okay you can like look nice and be 0.96

00:26:31.820 autistic my guy like it's it's so annoying it gets so flustered then i just have to be like 0.85

00:26:38.180 okay well it's not my job to educate you on what autism needs to look like like you have

00:26:42.600 you have a phone obviously you're commenting on this you have the internet and you have hands so

00:26:49.460 you can type in the things you want to look up. So not my job to educate you if you have the

00:26:54.720 freaking entire internet at your fingertips. Right, right, right, right. But I mean, and 0.83

00:26:59.520 it is, this is you being able to show your life and aspects of your life and share your experience.

00:27:07.740 But I do think it's interesting that these kinds of things do end up being so triggering

00:27:13.680 for some people. And I think that I mean, I actually hate the word trigger. I'm like,

00:27:18.220 oh god but like that's what it seems to be i mean like people have knee-jerk reactions to this

00:27:23.040 yeah and i think a big portion of that comes from like our parents generation having like

00:27:32.800 really bad relationships with like mental health and i found like even just my own parents like i

00:27:40.100 come from a not very good background but my parents used therapy as like a big

00:27:44.460 like no no word like a big oh you need therapy because you're crazy you know like that was their

00:27:50.920 big thing and for me therapy is like a safe place to talk to someone about something that's been

00:27:57.280 bothering you like I never thought about it as a negative so with all these negative opinions from

00:28:03.080 past generations kind of thrown onto mental health and like finding new terms and new language to

00:28:09.580 describe certain behaviors without that language you lack the nuance and so when people think oh

00:28:19.000 everybody just does that or like my cousin's like that but he's not autistic it's like yeah your

00:28:23.920 cousin might be autistic but you just have never associated or assigned that term to him which is

00:28:28.880 fine not everyone needs a label like but for some people now actually having the language to

00:28:35.000 describe themselves and to label themselves and be able to find the communities associated with

00:28:40.760 those labels to feel you know less weird less crazy whatever I think that's really important

00:28:46.500 but a big reason as to why I'm getting so many negative comments is I'm saying hey these things

00:28:52.300 are attributed to these groups of people and I think a lot of people don't like the paring down

00:28:59.080 of things especially if they feel like they could relate to them but then they're being associated

00:29:04.140 with these groups that they are kind of afraid of or conditioned to fear you know yeah yeah well and

00:29:12.680 i think that you know the entire debate over over everything to do with autism is very very divisive

00:29:19.560 and i've learned that i'm even nervous about putting out this episode because every time

00:29:25.060 anything having to do with autism is mentioned someone is angry and someone tells me i got

00:29:33.160 something wrong. And I'm not an expert. I'm putting that I am not an expert. This subject

00:29:40.600 is interesting to me because my mother was a special education teacher when I was growing up

00:29:44.800 who specialized in autism. And I spent a lot of time in her classrooms with her. I went to a summer

00:29:51.540 camp at her school and hung out in her classrooms all the time. So this is a subject that I'm

00:29:57.980 fascinated by and want to learn more about but people get so angry I don't even feel uncomfortable

00:30:05.100 I don't even feel comfortable exploring it half the time you know I I feel that way and I'm autistic

00:30:13.020 like I I feel like talking about autism there's always going to be someone in the comments saying

00:30:18.960 oh like I mean in not so many words basically you're too pretty to be autistic or oh autism

00:30:24.260 autism for five-year-old boys who love trains people told you you're too pretty to be autistic

00:30:30.560 basically yeah like oh if you can do your makeup and take care of yourself and develop a sense of

00:30:35.960 style you can't be autistic yep even if even if your sense of smile even if your sense of style

00:30:43.900 is pilgrim dresses i know right i was like i don't think that qualifies as a sense of style but okay

00:30:52.100 that's another thing people are gonna shit on me for no no i fully i'm like no i i dress like an

00:30:59.860 old lady like my my husband i was like do you still think i'm pretty even though i dress like 0.56

00:31:04.480 an old man half the time and he was like yeah i love your style and i was like okay good

00:31:08.460 weirdly weirdly my husband also likes my old lady neck gowns and i think that if i showed up with

00:31:15.340 like one of those bathing suits that she'll showed my whole butt off he'd be like what is

00:31:19.040 like what is happening i don't want to i don't want to do it with that that's scary that scares

00:31:23.920 me hey man those nightgowns kept grandma kid after kid you know like that grandma had like

00:31:31.620 how many kids 17 kids how are you in that nightgown in that nightgown in that nightgown 1.00

00:31:38.520 also i'm not even gonna i'm gonna have to cut this but mormons have a lot of fucking kids and 1.00

00:31:42.580 they wear underclothes underclothes and they fuck more than anybody okay I'm just saying 1.00

00:31:51.980 have you have you found social media to be a good resource for for you as an autistic woman or is it 0.99

00:31:59.180 is it more bad than good or good than bad I would say more good than bad I've learned a lot and

00:32:07.960 there are some other creators like um there's a lady so alora dodd she's um online one room

00:32:14.440 schoolhouse she's super tiktok famous um i love her she makes a lot of autism related content

00:32:19.980 and also like body positivity and then there's ribera bond who she talks about her um experience

00:32:27.080 as an autistic woman who wears a lot of makeup and she she says um i'm not one of those smart

00:32:34.260 autistics. I'm a dumb bimbo. I love that. But like, I don't know, there's autism. Autism is such 1.00

00:32:46.140 a huge spectrum, right? And online, you can see every piece of it. And of course, there are some

00:32:53.980 people who have very high support needs who aren't online representing that part of autism.

00:32:59.020 So you're not getting that voice in that same way. But the people who do have lower support

00:33:03.860 needs are coming out and saying hey I'm autistic I've been diagnosed since you know blank amount

00:33:08.460 of time and um talking about how they even advocate for self-diagnosis because it is so

00:33:14.600 hard to get diagnosed with autism as an adult and I don't know if you saw it recently but I made a

00:33:20.180 video um that's like a get ready with me but it was like get ready with me while I talk to you

00:33:25.340 about all the supports available for late diagnosed autistic women in Canada oh my god I love that

00:33:31.600 it was just silence well look let's be honest okay it's impossible to get um diagnosed with 0.95

00:33:39.660 fucking anything in this country i mean it's impossible i can't get a doctor's appointment 0.94

00:33:44.500 like with my gp i like there's so many things that i want to talk about i've got a weird mole 0.99

00:33:50.180 right and i just live in fear of first trying to schedule something and then two getting 0.98

00:33:56.080 fucked in the ass by my insurance company yeah and i mean you have another set of worries because 0.99

00:34:02.220 you're in the states so you're paying for you're paying for your health care and if your insurance 1.00

00:34:07.360 decides oh no we're not covering that you're out however many thousand dollars like that's

00:34:12.100 that is pure insanity to me and even being in canada i mean everyone throws in like oh free

00:34:17.940 health care but it's it's not really free you're kind of paying with your time like you get put on

00:34:24.040 a wait list that's sometimes like four years long. Yeah, I'll bet. I'll bet. Yeah. I mean,

00:34:29.640 getting diagnosed, getting, I mean, any medical care is impossible, like the world over. It really

00:34:36.420 is. And so I do think that navigating these things online is great, but then also maybe not great in

00:34:45.680 other ways, because have you noticed that there's a lot of people with misinformation about autism

00:34:51.660 on the socials oh absolutely there's so much misinformation as well and like i'm i'm guilty

00:35:00.240 of not knowing everything like i i don't know everything about autism i am newly diagnosed i

00:35:05.600 only found out my daughter was autistic last year early in march like so it's almost been a year

00:35:10.400 and i've done a lot of research in a very autistic way of course and um i've learned a lot and i

00:35:18.220 learned a lot about the different connections between autism and other you know comorbidities

00:35:24.180 that come along with it and I think I do know a lot but I can also attest to the fact that like

00:35:31.620 maybe in that video I made about gestalt processing my examples weren't very good and I

00:35:36.360 kind of got torn apart in the comments but also like I'm a human being and I don't need to know

00:35:43.220 everything and i'm happy to admit that i don't know everything and i'm glad i don't um but also

00:35:49.080 i find that people can be really cruel when you say something or you misspeak and the internet

00:35:57.140 is the first place someone's going to correct you and they don't even need to have the correct 0.99

00:36:01.480 information they're just basically going to tell you to you know get fucked get fucked get fucked 0.99

00:36:06.900 my friends it's true it's a quagmire and this is a world that i want to explore a lot more of this 0.99

00:36:11.880 is just, you know, this was, was kind of our gateway episode to talking about autism on social

00:36:17.520 media. And again, maybe we got some stuff wrong or, and maybe there's some stuff that's helpful

00:36:23.540 and we're just talking about it guys. It's not, not the end all be all. And I'm so grateful that

00:36:29.780 you came on. And I'm also really grateful that you posted this, this faux trad wife video and

00:36:34.620 it got so much more attention, um, onto, onto issues that we should actually be talking about

00:36:39.820 instead of nap dresses and sourdough 0.99

00:36:42.480 and whether or not Ballerina Farm is a fucking farce. 0.99

00:36:47.000 Oh, exactly. 0.99

00:36:48.120 And you know what?

00:36:49.180 I'll never stop being the person

00:36:50.540 who's going to be mildly controversial

00:36:53.280 coming on and saying,

00:36:55.140 hey, look, I might have a pretty aesthetic, 1.00

00:36:57.880 but also I'm autistic as fuck, boy. 0.99

00:37:00.120 And I love Star Trek. 1.00

00:37:03.580 Tell people, let's end on that, man.

00:37:05.920 Tell people where they can find you.

00:37:07.060 you can find me on instagram and you can find me on tiktok although my following over there is not

00:37:13.560 nearly as good um i also make youtube videos which are like diys and talking about autism

00:37:19.080 if you want to learn more about my autism journey and like what my youtube channel and stuff is

00:37:24.720 going to look like in the future you can check out my youtube channel which is just i think

00:37:28.420 victoria.e.hunter and my instagram is the same so you pretty much find me same handles everywhere

00:37:35.280 And that is all we have for today.

00:37:37.560 If you love this show, give us a review.

00:37:39.900 Give us all the stars.

00:37:41.140 I love all of the stars.

00:37:43.520 I do. I do.

00:37:45.000 Post us on social media.

00:37:46.520 At least it's good for one thing.

00:37:48.780 Now, I know the news can be really difficult right now,

00:37:52.680 and I'm not going to get into it.

00:37:53.840 But I want you to take care of yourself.

00:37:57.280 Limit your news consumption.

00:37:58.880 Limit your scroll if you have to.

00:38:00.960 We were never meant to get this kind of shocking breaking news literally right next to a recipe for sourdough bread or a picture of your cousin's cat.

00:38:14.040 It's all too much and it's coming at you too quickly.

00:38:18.020 Take care of yourself and your family and go do something nice for yourself.

00:38:24.360 You deserve it.

00:38:30.960 Transcription by CastingWords

00:39:00.960 you want to impress them on a first date but also play it cool so what do you do i'm rufy thorpe and

00:39:22.660 i wrote and read a real love story about a hinge couple that navigated exactly that

00:39:27.260 listen to the free audiobook now

00:39:29.480 Thank you.

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - July 16, 2024

Victoria Hunter's Viral Tradwife Video

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