Vulgar History - International, part 30： Irish Grifter Lola Montez (pt 1⧸2)

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00:00:20.440 Hello everybody, this is Trevor, host of the History of Persia.

00:00:24.760 I'm telling the stories of the empires that dominated the Middle East

00:00:28.000 from the fall of the Assyrians until the rise of Islam.

00:00:32.020 I'll cover topics like the 300 Spartans, the origins of endurance racing,

00:00:36.160 the losing side of Alexander the Great's conquests,

00:00:38.920 and at least one evil priest who replaced and impersonated the king.

00:00:43.120 If those stories and the stories and cultures of Greece and Rome's greatest enemies

00:00:47.220 sound interesting to you, come check out The History of Persia,

00:00:50.800 wherever it is you find your favorite podcasts, like this one.

00:00:58.000 okay so i have a a guest here with me today it is back by popular demand it's allison epstein

00:01:26.740 Hello. I love being demanded. It's the greatest feeling in the world.

00:01:31.040 This is sort of like there is, you know, everybody loves hearing you and Lana when you guest on this show.

00:01:36.760 They demand to hear you back. But also I'm for both of you.

00:01:41.180 I'm going to pick like specific stories where I feel like you're most suited.

00:01:46.380 And for you, it is dirtbag adjacent. 0.86

00:01:49.120 This setup is really working great for me because Lana has to come in with Habsburg's facts. 0.97

00:01:53.660 and I get to come in when Anne reads a story 0.99

00:01:55.720 and she goes, ooh, this person sucks. 0.98

00:01:58.760 So I'm looking forward to this very much. 1.00

00:02:00.920 Well, no, exactly.

00:02:01.520 Yeah, Lana is my Habsburg expert.

00:02:04.540 And then you're here for just kind of, 1.00

00:02:06.740 yeah, dirtbagginess.

00:02:08.460 So God, okay.

00:02:10.560 I've been doing research.

00:02:12.540 We're talking about Lola Montez,

00:02:14.580 who is a person who I'm going to call Lola Montez 0.92

00:02:16.720 throughout because that was a name she gave herself.

00:02:19.700 And we respect that,

00:02:21.540 um despite the cultural appropriation nature of that name that is the name she went by and that's

00:02:26.600 the name she's known by there is in contrast to i want to say almost every person i've ever done

00:02:32.700 on this podcast like i usually do i'm not doing like your elizabeth the first i'm not doing marie

00:02:37.760 antoinette like there's so much information about them i tend to choose people that i need to dig

00:02:43.780 around a bit more for facts but lola montez there's an overabundance of facts there's so many

00:02:49.280 interesting things. I was like, Oh, I need to include that. I need to include that. I was

00:02:52.760 going over my notes yesterday. I was like, Oh, and I was like halfway through this biography.

00:02:56.020 And I'm like, no, my notes are so long. Like I can't, this is not like a 15 part mini series.

00:03:02.740 So we're going to do like a highlights edition. Lola Montez highlights.

00:03:09.480 For the listeners benefit throughout the past two or three weeks and has been sending me

00:03:14.360 messages that literally just say, I can't wait to tell you about this, but I'm not going to

00:03:17.600 tell you about it yet. So I've gotten like three facts out of context. I've done no prep. I'm

00:03:22.760 coming in with nothing. I've been expecting to be delighted by the story. I've also sent you

00:03:26.920 several pictures. You have. And I look forward to those making any sense at all because they do not

00:03:32.520 right now. Yeah. It's interesting. I love I'm excited to do this podcast on this topic. So

00:03:38.100 first of all, just for you and for the listeners, how on earth did I find this person? So when I

00:03:42.840 researching empress cc i was how the first thing i listened to was stuff you missed in history class

00:03:49.700 podcast about empress cc like with i just wanted to get like they're really good for facts i

00:03:54.020 recommend the podcast they do sort of like very brief which is good for me just to like get an

00:03:58.460 overall idea so i can like turn into a five-hour extravaganza anyway and in that they mentioned

00:04:04.160 we already did a podcast about ludwig ii of bavaria the one who did the castles one with

00:04:09.340 the board game yes the board game quote unquote mad king ludwig so and then so i was like you

00:04:15.160 know i want to learn more about him because he was friends with cc so then i listened to their

00:04:17.880 episode about ludwig and they were like oh you know what there's this person called lola montez

00:04:22.940 she's a trip anyway and i was like who's this so then i looked her up on wikipedia i was like oh my

00:04:30.480 god this is like what is happening and then i look back and they in fact did later on an episode

00:04:35.840 stuff you missed in history class has been on for i don't know 15 years yeah so they did in fact do

00:04:40.300 an episode on lola montez which i listened to and there's one fact in that where i was just like

00:04:44.260 not only do i need to do this on vulgar history but also i need to have alice in here

00:04:48.260 when we get to that fact i will tell you that fact but anyway so it was a journey

00:04:53.740 learning about lola and then it turns out so like catalina de arraso and there are going to be

00:05:00.860 similarities she did write her autobiography we love an autobiographical queen god bless

00:05:08.040 her autobiography is written fascinatingly in the third person yes it is i love her already

00:05:15.000 she would say i also love her which is me um okay so loves herself oh my gosh yeah so we've

00:05:25.560 like on vocal history like i've really fallen into not fallen into but like we've spent a lot

00:05:30.280 of time in our international season in like Western Europe. And I've been making a conscious

00:05:35.100 effort to like, rewrite that a bit and get into like other non European countries. But Lola Montez, 0.95

00:05:41.340 first of all, she goes to countries we've never talked about on this podcast before.

00:05:44.900 She lived an international life. And I can't not do it. This is the season that will never end.

00:05:52.280 But I just keep finding stories that I can't I'm like, Oh, maybe I'll do this like what in six

00:05:55.920 months no i have to do it now so lola montez she has been there's a podcast i just found i think

00:06:03.860 it's called the irish history podcast and wait wait lola montez is irish okay hold on i want

00:06:13.620 that that's where we're starting okay um and i will say that the irish people do seem to have

00:06:18.280 claimed her so she was born there her mother was irish we're going to talk about her parents but

00:06:25.080 so in terms of like she's truly citizen of the world but she was born in ireland and it does

00:06:32.580 seem like the irish are like she is our scandalous 19th century heroine we the irish even though she

00:06:38.280 was born there and that's about her entire connection to ireland so honestly wait so i

00:06:45.220 have this biography oh it's part of my stack i have the microphone on but whatever this biography

00:06:50.600 written by um bruce seymour lola montez a life which i found more helpful than lola's own

00:06:57.880 autobiography because her own autobiography is largely lies that can be proven to be lies

00:07:04.860 because she lived in like the late 19th century and there's a lot of people around then and we

00:07:10.080 have a lot of their records so we kind of know what actually happened so his book bruce seymour's

00:07:14.580 book kind of like goes through like well she says this but probably this anyway like the first two

00:07:19.740 chapters are just about her parents and i have to say her parents also interesting story so i'm

00:07:23.880 going to start off with the parents as well but i'll try to not get too sidetracked i know we

00:07:26.720 both have a hard exit time for this this cannot be a 16 part super special no no so i'm going to

00:07:34.120 tell you what the parents will try to be as brief as i can while still telling you all the juicy

00:07:37.600 bits so yeah so her father was an englishman named ensign edward gilbert who is in ireland

00:07:46.240 because this is, I'm not going to get into like the history of like military colonial occupation,

00:07:52.100 but you know, there's a lot of that going on here. This is an era where England was just kind

00:07:55.920 of everywhere, including in Ireland. This is 1818 for the record. So like we're in the like

00:08:02.240 Regency era. So her father, Ensign Edward Gilbert was a British man or English man.

00:08:08.260 I'm going to have to be so careful because the story there's like England, there's Scotland,

00:08:12.480 there's ireland and like at what point were which parts of those colonized it's all very spicy

00:08:18.660 so like shout out to the entire to the irish tits out brigade members i hope i

00:08:24.940 don't accidentally say something incorrect about your country or scotland 0.78

00:08:28.560 england i feel like they're cool with me i feel like we can offend england at this point

00:08:34.320 here's the thing yeah so it's 1818 ensign edward gilbert was handsome with a boyish face with

00:08:41.700 light blonde side whiskers and a thin mustache he had a cheerful and engaging personality and he

00:08:48.040 arrived in county cork in ireland to keep down rebellion in king george's irish domain so the

00:08:54.580 king at this point is george the third which is the one who lost the american revolution

00:09:00.440 slash the one from hamilton the one from hamilton yes yeah the madness of king george is the king

00:09:05.740 but the actual power behind the throne is george the fourth who is the horrible husband of carolina

00:09:11.120 of brunswick anyway so he is 26 years old ensign edward gilbert and now this is like 1818 so it's

00:09:17.580 a very like wickham slash lydia scenario um because we are in this jane austen era so he

00:09:25.920 caught the eye of 14 year old eliza oliver a milliner's assistant so eliza was the illegitimate

00:09:38.500 daughter of a former high sheriff of cork member of parliament so the olivers were like pretty

00:09:43.000 influential irish family she was the youngest illegitimate daughter of her father so he had 0.61

00:09:48.120 had like a bunch of children with a woman he didn't marry and then later he married another

00:09:51.600 woman but he was like cool to his illegitimate children um and she was one of them and her name

00:09:55.720 was eliza and they were planning to marry so this is giving me elvis presley meets 14 year old

00:10:02.620 Priscilla Beaulieu in his real life type vibes and just in the sense of an adult man meeting a 14

00:10:09.620 year old anyway so they were going to marry um Edward's regiment was moving out of Cork which

00:10:16.980 was normal because army regiments were often moved around because the soldiers would come to

00:10:21.260 town and make friends and that would stop them from suppressing the Irish people oh colonialism

00:10:27.280 humor yeah so they all so they're moving around so before they left edward and eliza got married

00:10:34.340 and she followed him to where his army regiment was sent um 10 months later she had a baby so

00:10:42.260 she was not they did not get married because she was 14 and pregnant but she was 15 and had a baby

00:10:47.100 and that child was named elizabeth rosanna gilbert and she would later rename herself lola montez

00:10:54.780 and we're just going to call her lola montez because if you have a vulgar history bingo card

00:10:58.880 this is a mother naming the daughter after herself moment because she's eliza and she 1.00

00:11:03.400 names her daughter also eliza yeah so i've noted here to the irish tits out brigade members please

00:11:09.440 note lola was born in grange a village near sligo near the ocean and beneath the imposing shadow of

00:11:15.960 ben bulban mountain which all sounds very lord of the rings the hobbit to me i would like to live

00:11:22.340 under the opposing shadow of her. 0.75

00:11:24.040 I think that sounds like the best place to be.

00:11:26.540 Ben Bulbin Mountain.

00:11:28.200 Later in life, Lola would claim she's born in Limerick,

00:11:30.540 but she was not.

00:11:32.340 The most pointless lie.

00:11:34.720 Maybe she just didn't care or forgot.

00:11:37.460 Anyway, so Edward got bored of serving

00:11:40.080 in the, quote, discontented Irish hinterland,

00:11:42.820 and he thought it would be more fun,

00:11:46.480 more opportunity to advance if he went to India,

00:11:49.320 where british were being colonists and so they headed to india via london and edward was so sweet

00:11:58.360 he on the boat going to india he had like all his watercolors with him he's like i'm gonna paint all

00:12:04.000 the beautiful things i see and he had all these books to read and he was just like oh i'm gonna

00:12:07.080 go to india and it's gonna be great but he caught cholera and died they arrived there so he's dead

00:12:12.980 um eliza is now 16 and a widow with a baby and unless she remarried not really much for her to do

00:12:21.520 in colonial british india um especially not in patna the smallish remote area where they

00:12:28.900 edward was supposed to have been assigned lola later described her mother as vain and self-centered 0.79

00:12:34.820 needing to be kept which is wild for lola montez to be critiquing anyone as that she said her 0.98

00:12:41.260 mother needed to be kept busy and around people all the time she was also 16 right and a widow 1.00

00:12:48.400 with a baby like in colonial india anyway because edward well i guess because she had been well off

00:12:54.580 and edward was too so like they had enough money so she okay so we're gonna get into sort of like

00:13:01.000 this you're familiar with the secret garden by francis i was gonna say this is giving me

00:13:04.800 secret exactly exactly so lola was mostly raised by uh indian um nursemaid which they were called

00:13:12.360 the ayahs which i know mostly because that's the name of a character in the secret garden the

00:13:17.860 musical the ayah so she's being cared for by indian nannies and lola was like my mother abandoned me 0.78

00:13:25.700 she didn't care about me but it's like no that's what everyone did that's like british mothers did 0.52

00:13:31.240 not raise their children in england like right also your mother was 16 yeah like yeah she wanted

00:13:39.120 help i would want help yeah exactly so um allegedly allegedly apparently this because 1.00

00:13:49.820 she was raised by these indulgent nannies this allowed lola to become spoiled and undisciplined 0.89

00:13:54.180 but i am gonna come out saying like this is a demon seed issue like lola came out

00:14:00.780 a monstrous person and i don't think this is what would happen to the kid from the secret garden if 0.99

00:14:07.060 she didn't go into the north of england and meet like a a jerk boy who had the cholera or whatever 0.93

00:14:13.940 this is just like if you just let her go yes this is very mary what's her name from the secret 0.94

00:14:19.440 garden if she hadn't yeah met the like mean boy with like polio or whatever and then the like

00:14:26.040 you know weird child who can speak to squirrels yeah yeah exactly exactly so she's just kind of

00:14:30.880 like growing up spoiled and mean but i feel like all the little girls were in british india at this

00:14:35.200 time anyway so eliza was just like i gotta do something and so she moved from patna to calcutta

00:14:44.140 which was at that point a lot of british people were there and eliza quickly found a new husband

00:14:49.720 this is like do you remember in catalina de arousa at one point we're just like how many

00:14:54.780 cousins is she gonna run into this is like how many spontaneous husbands are lola and her mother

00:15:00.260 going to find and it's a lot so her new husband was scottish his name was lieutenant patrick

00:15:06.420 craigie he was 24 years old and she's like whatever 17 now like getting closer to 24 it's

00:15:12.340 less weird i'm saying it's it's not great but it's definitely less weird so yeah so she's 19

00:15:18.100 by now she became mrs patrick craigie he was off and away eliza left lola with the eyes who let

00:15:23.700 her run wild basically eventually patrick was like we should just like train lola to be like

00:15:29.640 non-feral and like you know a human being who like wears shoes so the eyes are like good luck

00:15:37.760 with that your child sucks we're not going to do that ourselves i've sent you pictures of her so

00:15:42.900 you know her as an adult has like really formidable eyebrows yes so i'm just picturing a baby with 0.99

00:15:48.140 those same eyebrows just like uh like a five-year-old who just has like this frida Kahlo

00:15:54.980 level brow absolutely and anyway so they arranged to send lola to england to go to boarding school

00:16:02.980 she is five years old the entire country of india breathes a sigh of relief at this point

00:16:07.260 frankly there's a point where an entire country does breathe a sigh of relief when she leaves

00:16:11.560 and it happens more than once um so anyway they sent their five-year-old they're just like bye

00:16:16.260 like so yeah that didn't connect to my brain when you said that the first time she's five

00:16:19.980 yeah boarding school you have her five-year-olds right so her parents staying in calcutta the ayahs

00:16:25.200 who she raised her staying in calcutta and lola is sent age five in the care of a british couple

00:16:29.080 she's never met to england at 10 months uh journey i believe anyway so lola later wrote

00:16:36.960 being sent away from india which she loved is where she first learned the life lesson that

00:16:40.480 quote no one is truly free and the world is only a great prison we already didn't learn that in

00:16:45.960 colonial india she's five so yes she was just running around in the dirt like no shoes on just

00:16:52.760 like she she only knew freedom until this point not that the people of india knew freedom no

00:16:59.580 anyway so age five she's sent away from her parents and the oil place and people she'd

00:17:03.940 ever known to go and terrorize england so sorry it was five months at sea so after five months at

00:17:09.500 sea she and her new guardians arrived in london where she was then passed off from them to scottish

00:17:13.220 relatives of her stepfather who are now going to care for her so they went to montrose a small town

00:17:19.180 between dundee and aberdeen shout out to the scottish tits out brigade as per lola's memoirs 0.95

00:17:25.240 which she wrote in the third person quote the arrival of the queer wayward little east indian

00:17:31.100 girl was immediately known to all of montrose the peculiarity of her dress and i dare not say a

00:17:36.460 little eccentricity in her manners served to make her an object of curiosity and remark and very

00:17:41.400 likely the child perceived that she was somewhat of a public character and may have begun even at

00:17:45.440 this early age to assume heirs and customs of her own she is five years old assuming heirs of her

00:17:53.140 own but also like big mary lennox the secret garden vibes everyone's just like who is this 0.56

00:17:58.280 like mean snippy unusual girl who is this worst child in the world oh my god okay so she was

00:18:05.880 later this is the thing like this is like in terms of poker history like relatively recent like the

00:18:10.600 1800s like the letters people wrote have not decayed because they're from ancient papyrus

00:18:17.420 so lola was later remembered by the people of montrose for her pranks for instance went in

00:18:23.560 church when she got bored she silently stuck flowers into the wig of the old gentleman sitting

00:18:27.920 in a pew ahead of her she also would like run around town naked things like that when she was

00:18:34.920 10 her so she was there for five years which i think i wrote somewhere is like that's the longest

00:18:40.560 she was ever in one place for the rest of her life so her stepfather's older sister so basically

00:18:47.820 her aunt her step aunt started a boarding school and little oh right so she was just in montrose

00:18:52.020 being five to ten years old then she went to boarding school and she became 10 yeah um one of

00:18:57.280 the teacher oh my god she started boarding school at monk wearmouth and one of the teachers at that

00:19:03.220 school later described her thus quote it was impossible to look at her for many minutes

00:19:08.860 without feeling convinced she was made up of very wayward and troublesome elements the violence 1.00

00:19:13.660 and obstinacy indeed of her temper gave too frequent cause of painful anxiety to her good 0.91

00:19:18.160 kind aunt he also described her as looking like quote a little tigress just escaped from one den 0.97

00:19:24.200 to another so she's 10 she's 10 and she sucks yeah so this is why i would say like if you could 0.92

00:19:32.840 just think about the first picture i sent you which is of this little angel face big-eyed girl 0.84

00:19:37.480 that looks like a little doll person like that's apparently not the vibe she gave off most of the

00:19:45.740 artistic license yeah so she stayed at this school for one year not because she was kicked

00:19:54.460 out but because her stepfather had like had a fancy new rank so her stepfather back in calcutta

00:19:59.520 and so they wanted her to attend an even fancier school so she went to a boarding school run by

00:20:05.220 the mrs eldridge in bath and i love the recurring appearance of bath in episodes of this that's

00:20:12.220 where mary shelley and claire claremont were there for a while bath is where um when mary of medina

00:20:19.640 was giving birth to bunny prince charlie um that's where anne queen anne from the favorite was like

00:20:26.240 i've heard it was a changeling and she didn't really have a baby like that was in bath bath

00:20:29.540 it's just like where like the gossip is happening so a good vibes from bath anyway and there's also

00:20:35.920 boarding school there so at this school she did learn a lot of stuff like she later was known for

00:20:41.800 being very well spoken she spoke french well she learned she learned some french honestly

00:20:50.220 that's everybody from like in my experience who has spoken french it's like do they speak french

00:20:54.780 yeah well i mean kind of she also learned playing the piano needlepoint dancing she also learned

00:21:00.240 like literature art philosophy like she she got a good education between just you know doing

00:21:05.340 hilarious pranks and um yeah during her time there she never taught her pulling pranks on

00:21:10.440 teachers and saw herself as the chief agitator against adult authority this is where i wrote in

00:21:16.280 my notes god i love her oh yeah so this is another so she's in montrose for basically five years she

00:21:22.720 was in bath for basically five years and that's the longest she ever stayed anywhere for the rest

00:21:26.940 of her life one of the guardians in her during this era described her as a tortoise who buries

00:21:33.200 her eggs lightly in the sand and leaves them to the sun and to chance what what does that mean

00:21:40.880 i think it means she's just like a random person who never thinks about consequences

00:21:45.580 okay okay i guess i just i'm really hung up on the turtleness of it all i don't know i think a

00:21:53.160 pygris is definitely a better descriptor so when she was 15 going on 16 her mother came from india

00:21:59.340 to see her daughter for the first time in 10 years her mother who's now at 26 or whatever

00:22:04.220 and this is because she was 16 so it's like because of like her mother was from this

00:22:09.600 kind of good family and then she married this guy who like rose up in the ranks so we're gonna like

00:22:14.980 find you a good marriage um they did not get along well for reasons you can imagine knowing 0.96

00:22:20.320 both of their personalities which are i would argue the same personality um eliza explained

00:22:26.260 her plans to bring lola back to india to marry a man who is aged 64 who oh i didn't write it down

00:22:32.880 but lola described him as i forget some sort of like consumptive nightmare or something really

00:22:38.540 does not matter what kind of person he was if he's 64 and she's and she's 15 going on 16 yeah

00:22:43.940 yeah no good okay so enter a man named lieutenant thomas james so he had i think sort of accompanied

00:22:52.580 the mom from india he was coming back to i'm not sure if he's from scotland or england but he's

00:22:58.000 coming back to the island the british isles to convalesce from some sort of undetermined probably

00:23:04.180 malaria right that's what everybody gets in india i mean british people the british were not prepared

00:23:11.160 for yeah but he was like not really sick but he was just kind of like sick leave so anyway so the

00:23:17.100 mom met him and it was a thing about like is he trying to seduce her is he the mom's lover

00:23:20.960 and then she trusted um him to be the chaperone to lola and what happened is he pivoted to

00:23:29.600 really liking lola um so he was 29 years old um one of his jobs was escorting lola between her

00:23:36.840 lodgings and her academy and she was just like i don't want to marry a 64 year old like this is not

00:23:42.160 for me giving her like as much as she is like the demon seed she's also like been raised she's been 1.00

00:23:49.620 boarding school whenever she does not know the ways of like men and women relationships i would 0.80

00:23:55.000 assume based on what we know from bridgerton about how much sex education you know people get

00:24:01.060 highly accurate historical document bridgerton yeah anyway so in her memoir she said that she

00:24:07.580 kind of was just like she saw him as kind of like a fatherly figure and he and they figured out like

00:24:13.140 he could rescue her like he could rescue her from having to marry the 64 year old if she married

00:24:16.680 him but she kind of didn't know what that meant anyway so he's 29 she is one year older than her 0.76

00:24:23.200 mother was when she eloped and so they ran off together and because she was a minor in a like

00:24:29.000 wickham lydia energy like he had to marry her because they ran off together and so they had

00:24:33.060 a secret sexy marriage asterisk as sexy as it can be when she is 15 and he's 29 um the marriage was

00:24:40.000 not what lola had anticipated although i don't know what she had anticipated she later wrote

00:24:44.180 the child had sought only a protector but she found a master um he brought her to his family's

00:24:50.960 estate valley crystal which sounds i'm gonna say i don't know it sounds irish maybe anyway i forget

00:24:58.840 if he's irish or scottish or english one of those probably not irish anyway if he was irish he was

00:25:06.220 probably a british person in ireland he wasn't an irish person uh lola realized that being the

00:25:12.420 married teenage wife stuck in the irish countryside was just as boarding as boarding school

00:25:16.900 like how her father was like i don't like being in the british regiment in like the wilds of ireland

00:25:22.840 lola was like i don't like being married to him here she she especially didn't like the endless

00:25:29.180 ceremonial tea drinking just a shame because that sounds fun i am so she's living with like his i 0.70

00:25:35.780 don't know sister and mother and whatever the family where he he was off doing army things so

00:25:39.460 she wrote these endless cups of tea drunk with methodical conscientiousness in the same quantity

00:25:44.660 in the same rooms these medicinal ablutions taken with unshakable solemnity at fixed times got on my

00:25:50.220 nerves. I mean, the whole business, whose pleasure I had never been able to understand,

00:25:54.780 repellent to me. Wow, this girl really, really hates tea. Yeah, she hates tea. And she later 1.00

00:26:02.320 wrote, I wished for nothing more intensely than to be abducted once more, but this time not by

00:26:07.200 a potential husband, but by anything or anyone who would rescue me from the deadly monotony of

00:26:13.480 this eternally repetitive life. So not great. And then also her husband began physically abusing

00:26:19.900 her so they traveled to liverpool to visit her childhood friends but like on the amazing race

00:26:27.180 when two people in a relationship traveled together it can really bring out if you're

00:26:31.460 compatible or not and they obviously were not and then he was going he was like transferred back to

00:26:37.420 india so then they're like great let's spend like a 10 month trip to calcutta anyway she's like

00:26:42.200 calcutta i love it and she's just like i love it here this is so much better than the irish

00:26:46.080 countryside um and then he's transferred somewhere more remote and he'd started by now maintaining a

00:26:51.800 notebook where he wrote down everything she did that was like quote wrong and he would like lecture 0.86

00:26:55.840 her about it at the end of every day or something like that they both suck but in different ways

00:27:00.400 yeah so she wrote days become centuries when you're trapped in an unhappy marriage

00:27:05.880 um and eventually good for her she left him she went to stay with her mother and stepfather in 0.94

00:27:11.280 calcutta her mother was like no way like you i was gonna get you this nice marriage to this 64

00:27:16.360 year old you didn't take it you made your bed lie in it so she said you either have to return to

00:27:21.840 your husband or go back to britain and she chose britain so like just keeping track she's now 19

00:27:27.280 years old she actually divorced or did she just leave sure well um so because her husband was

00:27:35.180 still alive so they i think the like actual separation there's something about it where it's

00:27:41.440 like they were divorced but part of the terms of divorce was that as long as either of them was

00:27:47.860 still alive neither of them could remarry oh i see basically this is gonna come up because guess 0.99

00:27:53.620 what she gets married a couple more times so yeah so she's 19 years old saddled with a scandal of

00:27:58.900 eloping and then of a failed marriage her ex-husband gave her some money so she could

00:28:03.880 start her new independent life um and it's like well what are her options here is she gonna head

00:28:08.680 back to to live with his relatives like no is she gonna become like a governess like

00:28:13.780 i would love her to be my governess though i think she that would be a really fun sort of like

00:28:19.420 mary poppins but not mary poppins yes but so on the so she's like what am i gonna do luckily on

00:28:27.780 the boat heading back she met a new guy whose name is this is where i think like we need to

00:28:33.560 keep it to this is two this is two for just like meeting people on boats containing his

00:28:37.640 both husbands we're into it anyway so she met a new guy his name was george lennox he was also 19

00:28:42.940 appropriate um he was the nephew of a rich and powerful english person and so they basically 0.63

00:28:49.380 just like fucked on the whole journey back to england everybody else who's on the ship was like 0.71

00:28:54.940 they were always together in his room and wonder what they were doing yeah so they when they 0.97

00:29:02.340 disembarked back in england arm in arm and then he like got a hotel and they like stayed together

00:29:07.760 in the hotel even though both of them were expected back in scotland so i guess that's 0.79

00:29:11.300 where he was from but they didn't go to scotland to stay in a hotel fucking um and she became a

00:29:16.000 minor figure in london society and this is where i was like she's like a julia fox figure of just 0.54

00:29:21.300 kind of like a scandalous very beautiful woman who just you never know what she's going to do

00:29:26.040 next and you're not quite sure why she's there or why everyone knows her name but suddenly everyone

00:29:29.780 does eventually his family and friends convinced him to cut off this affair or maybe she got bored

00:29:35.120 of him but by the end of the summer she was single once more and had spent most of her money because 0.99

00:29:39.920 she's like everyone i've ever talked about in the podcast terrible with money you're gonna get one 1.00

00:29:45.060 kids out lady who like has an accountant and it's gonna rock our world it's gonna that'll be i feel

00:29:50.740 and at that point i'll stop doing the show because like that's it so she's just like okay what am i 0.73

00:29:56.080 gonna do um she didn't necessarily want to become like a freelance like courtesan type you know she

00:30:01.060 was like a romantic type person she's she's very much a serial monogamist in her affairs so she's

00:30:08.740 just like i'm not anyway so she wound up going to edinburgh to go and be with her stepfather's

00:30:14.820 sister the one who ran the school because she's just like well she just kind of figures her things

00:30:19.240 out you know it's just like vibes of like moving back in with your parents vibes where you're just

00:30:23.700 like what am i gonna do try that and her mom was like please don't so she's like okay i'll try the

00:30:27.700 yeah exactly so then one day she was served for the summons from her ex-husband in india thomas

00:30:33.980 james who was suing her for adultery oh yeah no okay so they weren't divorced yet they just

00:30:39.140 separate it but then the only way you could get a divorce if you were an english person at this

00:30:43.760 british person at this time was if there was adultery and so she immediately went out and 0.96

00:30:48.980 fuck the guy in a boat just to make sure potentially yeah so now this was her third 0.97

00:30:54.500 scandal so um yeah so he was suing her for adultery there's going to be a trial etc 0.99

00:30:59.980 and she's like i need to do something with my life i'm going to become an actress

00:31:04.440 so she returned to london center of the english stage scene and from her connections through her

00:31:10.680 affair with lennox who had been like you know when she was having her julia fox era in london

00:31:15.120 like she still had friends there and so she like pulled some strings to make her way on stage as

00:31:19.800 an actress or she went for acting lessons but the acting teacher very tactfully was like maybe you'd

00:31:25.120 be better as a dancer no honey no but because at this point she's 21 which is too old to like start

00:31:35.720 studying ballet or something like that so she had to find something more easy to learn spain and

00:31:41.780 spanish culture were very much in fashion at the time so she hired a spanish dancing teacher

00:31:46.220 and she learned from them for four months that's probably long enough right yeah to learn one

00:31:53.200 routine and then she took a trip to spain where she got to practice her dancing but also just

00:31:59.360 kind of like leave town during the whole like adultery trial well in spain she learned some

00:32:06.060 of the language and also picked up the habit of smoking tobacco and rolling her own cigarettes 0.99

00:32:10.420 And we've had several in a row women on this podcast who smoke.

00:32:14.780 I love it. 1.00

00:32:15.820 I'm also going to guess this is where the name comes from.

00:32:18.760 Oh, oh, hang on.

00:32:22.600 OK, so because she had failed to show up for her own adultery trial, the result of that was she was found guilty.

00:32:29.680 Yeah. Oh, and here's where it happens.

00:32:31.120 The punishment was neither she or Thomas could ever marry again as long as the other was alive and they had to live separately.

00:32:36.880 No problem.

00:32:37.460 Honestly, that sounds like a punishment for him.

00:32:39.500 Also for her. 0.94

00:32:40.420 yeah yeah so they were officially divorced but she could never remarry because the thing it's

00:32:46.120 like this is still like henry the eighth laws it's like if you want to divorce and remarry in

00:32:49.940 england you have to like get a letter from the pope effectively not from the pope right oh sorry

00:32:55.400 not from the pope from the head of the king yes it'd have to be like king george the third be 0.96

00:33:00.640 like hey i want to fuck this guy on a boat can you imagine the number of letters that poor king 0.98

00:33:04.640 must be exactly i don't i think they would just like not even show those to him so she went but 0.98

00:33:10.320 but you very much saw it was coming so she went to spain and she returned to spain not as eliza

00:33:15.840 gilbert but as maria dolores de poris e montez that's not what i thought you were gonna say

00:33:22.840 aka lola montez it went on for so much longer than i anticipated she gave herself a catalina

00:33:29.980 de arousal length pseudonym and so she returned she she returned and she was lola montez so part

00:33:36.260 of the thing is like she had as you've seen from the images of her a mediterranean complexion

00:33:40.840 one could say she has got like dark hair dark brows like i don't know if it's necessarily 1.00

00:33:46.680 all of complexion but like so she could potentially if you saw that picture be like oh yeah i could 0.98

00:33:50.800 believe that was maybe a person from greece or italy or you know i assumed she was spanish when

00:33:55.560 you sent me these pictures and said her name was lola montez so i went with it yeah no and she is 1.00

00:34:00.480 like in these pictures wearing like a spanish mantilla and like a veil and stuff so so she

00:34:06.860 returned to um she arrived she was now lola montez and let me tell you the story of lola montez

00:34:13.560 it's not just a name she comes with a backstory did she make up her own like witness protection

00:34:19.920 program style backstory for i love her this is the moment where i'm like no i'm in lola montez

00:34:27.500 was the proud and beautiful daughter of a noble spanish family impoverished and exiled by a cruel

00:34:32.200 civil war she was also the widow of don diego leon who had recently who had been recently

00:34:38.180 executed she had come to england to teach singing lessons and sell spanish veils 1.00

00:34:43.220 this piece of shit i love her um and she was she was like well i don't know i was looking at the 1.00

00:34:54.580 pictures of her and i'm just like who i'm gonna put pictures on instagram so people can see what 0.98

00:34:57.620 she looks like or just like google lola montez but she was like very striking looking yeah these

00:35:02.180 like pale blue eyes the dark complexion um i was trying to think like to come it's like 0.87

00:35:08.740 if Emma Stone had black hair. 0.97

00:35:12.020 Like she has these huge pale eyes. 0.78

00:35:15.860 She's very beautiful is what I'm saying. 0.52

00:35:17.280 She's also very charismatic and sexy.

00:35:19.600 And so she, rich men took pity on her 0.99

00:35:21.860 and helped her make connections to become a performer. 1.00

00:35:25.460 Was she sleeping with these men? 1.00

00:35:27.700 I mean, probably.

00:35:29.900 And now we're just going to take a break

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00:36:03.860 Welcome to the realms of peril and glory.

00:36:08.740 Explore the mechanically magical vistas of Vale, the paranormal mysteries of liminal London, and the cyberpunk chaos of Cyborg.

00:36:21.940 Be awed by our incredible guests from familiar shows like Oxventure and No Rolls Barred.

00:36:30.240 Search realms of peril and glory to find out more.

00:36:33.560 The war is over and both sides lost.

00:36:40.840 Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust.

00:36:45.840 Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight.

00:36:53.760 But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins.

00:36:58.080 This is old school adventuring at its most cruel.

00:37:01.260 Your torch ticks down in real time, and when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job.

00:37:07.460 This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make.

00:37:15.000 This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back.

00:37:19.740 Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on youtube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.

00:37:30.320 See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark.

00:38:00.320 dreams and changes those you want and those you never saw coming season two arrives september

00:38:05.760 24th distributed by realm and we're back so she got her first dancing couple i think actually

00:38:15.740 oh i didn't write it like again like there's so many details i can't but she met some important

00:38:20.840 guy on the boat back from spade and she's like oh i have donia lola montez my husband

00:38:25.800 And Diego de Leon is executed by the rebels.

00:38:30.140 He was some sort of rich, like, theater impresario type person.

00:38:33.180 He's like, great.

00:38:34.060 I'll hook you up.

00:38:35.900 Incredible.

00:38:36.880 Yeah.

00:38:37.240 A lot of, like, boat-based networking going on in these days.

00:38:41.120 I also like the idea that if you need a job, you can just, like, fall to your knees and

00:38:44.880 shout your backstory and hope that someone overhears you.

00:38:47.400 Like, I'm going to try that and see if that works.

00:38:49.020 It worked for her. 0.99

00:38:50.540 I have to say, you also have dark hair.

00:38:51.960 so i'm telling you i'm one step away from being a dancing teacher who sells spanish fails yeah

00:38:57.140 so her first like real gig was so and this is kind of i guess this was a thing that happened

00:39:03.380 it wasn't invented for her but like during the intermission of plays like people would come out

00:39:07.820 and perform um and so she got her job as like a intermission dancer during a performance of the

00:39:14.980 barbara of seville which is a musical that takes place in spain so it's sort of thematic

00:39:20.180 um and her first gig um was at this performance of the bar of seville those being attended by

00:39:27.040 the queen's uncle and other members of the nobility so like from zero to that is her

00:39:34.120 you know what she had four months of dancing lessons she went to spain

00:39:37.580 she had castanets she's ready did she actually have castanets oh yes yes

00:39:43.960 yeah no that was a big part of her performance and she also at this point she started doing

00:39:50.520 something that she would do throughout all of her travels which was like really endear herself to

00:39:55.120 the local arts critics of newspapers so that she like won them over before they saw her perform

00:40:00.460 so that when she performed they would be more likely to give her good review was she sleeping

00:40:04.500 with them also maybe this is giving me like ratatouille vibes somehow and i'm like really

00:40:10.260 here for it she is gonna go to paris at one point so the critic of the morning post wrote her figure 0.93

00:40:17.900 was even more attractive than her face lovely as the latter was her foot and ankle almost faultless

00:40:23.880 they say nothing about the dancing only her ankles oh boy man good ankles i'm gonna say her

00:40:31.480 foot does come back i hope so she's a dancer she was of course not a good dancer but so charming

00:40:38.100 didn't matter like in later reviews too were also like oh my god she's so beautiful she's so lovely

00:40:43.420 she blows kisses to people what a figure total smoke show her dancing's not great apparently 0.99

00:40:51.640 four months of dancing lessons wasn't she's like this is all i needed to know yeah so she did her 0.87

00:40:57.080 performance in front of the queen's uncle and the nobility everybody loved it the castanets it's

00:41:02.080 great but like immediately right after so the guy who she met on the boat was like oh this is great

00:41:07.320 i'm gonna give her like a contract to be my like intermission dancer but the thing is like if you

00:41:12.520 recall so she's now like 21 when she was 19 she was like the julia fox of london society and then 0.84

00:41:17.980 she also been involved in this like pretty notorious divorce case so there were people 0.91

00:41:23.840 there who were like isn't that hang on a minute this striking woman with the mysterious name

00:41:30.400 in the castanets isn't that eliza gilbert um no i am lola montez

00:41:38.140 actually yeah they were like like not only is that like eliza gilbert but she was like

00:41:45.920 actively born in ireland um so the newspapers revealed her true identity and she was fired

00:41:52.220 or she lost her role being a spanish dancer what did she do like not only did she say like no i am

00:41:57.840 lola montez she uh wrote a letter to the editor to be like so do you remember the thing with

00:42:04.780 hilaria baldwin from where she was just like i'm totally what how you say cucumber

00:42:11.540 so this has got like big hilaria baldwin energy where people are like you hilaria were born in

00:42:18.420 like boston your name is hillary and she's and she's like but i've spent how you say so much

00:42:24.100 time in spain and they're like when were you in spain and she's like i grew up there they're like

00:42:28.660 when were you in spain where are you spanish and she's just like i love spain it's it's very much

00:42:36.060 that but incredible hey so she doubled down and this is what she does her whole life so she wrote

00:42:42.960 a letter to the editor being like i am spanish i did spend some years in bath going to school

00:42:49.080 but then i went back to spain i've never been in london before i learned my broken english from an

00:42:54.580 irish nanny what honey and the newspapers went back and forth they're like she speaks english

00:43:04.500 fluently um she also speaks spanish barely um so then she like followed that up she like showed up 1.00

00:43:13.660 in person at the newspaper office to plead her case being like senor

00:43:17.980 i am how you say spanish um what what do we what do we do with this now so she kind of like yeah 0.94

00:43:31.280 but she saw these connections with some like high-ranking people because she was like a sexy

00:43:34.740 beautiful woman she met german relative of queen victoria's the 26 year old prince oh my god i

00:43:41.960 didn't look this up wait no it's not even his name it's the roman numeral are you good with

00:43:46.040 it is prince heinrich the 72nd oh now i i take back my laughter that's pretty high

00:43:54.740 so many prince heinrich lxxii so many prince heinrich i think there's something about like

00:44:05.160 in that family you had to call every son heinrich or something anyway so he's i thought the king

00:44:09.000 louis were bad but like they didn't even break 20 so this is prince heinrich the 72nd of royce

00:44:15.720 lobenstein ebersdorf and he liked her a lot enough to pay off her debts and invite her to visit him

00:44:20.560 in ebersdorf and then someone else was like you should also come and dance in saint petersburg

00:44:25.540 and she was like sounds like a cross european tour for me and that is what she did so she

00:44:31.640 sailed off to visit her new friend prince heinrich who i think was like come visit me sometime but

00:44:35.280 He didn't mean right away.

00:44:36.860 And he didn't mean actually.

00:44:38.540 Yeah.

00:44:38.720 Like if you're ever in the neighborhood, stop by, we'll get coffee.

00:44:41.520 And she's like, I'm actually already outside your front door.

00:44:43.900 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:44.440 So she showed up and enjoyed herself at first, got quickly bored. 0.85

00:44:48.300 And it's kind of like when I'm playing a tabletop board game and I'm losing, I just start fucking around because I'm just like, I'm not going to win this game. 0.99

00:44:56.380 I'm just going to like do things that are going to annoy everybody else because I am an asshole and I play tabletop board games and I'm losing. 0.99

00:45:03.620 So she just started fucking things up. 0.99

00:45:05.280 because she was bored. Heinrich realized he didn't like her. In fact, she was a demon seed 0.97

00:45:09.980 nightmare person, but she wasn't going anywhere because where was she going to go? So he figured

00:45:14.420 the only way to get rid of her was to arrange a performance for her somewhere else, very far away

00:45:18.800 from him. That was so smart. I was honestly good for Heinrich. Yeah. So he wrote a letter to a

00:45:24.620 friend of his, the Herr Kappelmeister Carl Reisinger at the Court Theater of the King of

00:45:29.420 Saxony in nearby Dresden. He's like, hey, there's this Spanish dancer. She's great. Can she come

00:45:34.920 there i recommend her personally and he was like sure how could how soon can she perform can she 0.95

00:45:40.140 perform tomorrow so she went there the as per this era of her life the audience didn't love her

00:45:47.460 but the critics and journalists wrote rave reviews about how beautiful she was and then she moved on

00:45:52.780 to berlin where she was like really popular with the people like outside of her hotel there was 0.55

00:45:57.640 like male admirers every morning just like desperate to be with her or whatever um she was

00:46:03.200 eventually inevitably exposed as a fraud but it kind of didn't matter one of her fans was king

00:46:12.420 friedrich wilhelm the fourth of where are we saxony i guess this is when like germany isn't

00:46:20.280 germany it's just all little kingdoms and so and they're all led by people called heinrich or

00:46:25.320 friedrich anyway so king friedrich wilhelm the fourth his brother-in-law was czar nicholas the

00:46:31.980 first of russia because everybody in europe is related to everyone else in europe yeah so okay

00:46:39.160 my notes are get unhinged as i go along so she returned to berlin where her first whip-based

00:46:46.540 event occurred which was this go on i believe in one of the photos i've sent you she is holding a

00:46:51.480 whip and that became her trademark so there was a military parade going on in honor of the czar

00:46:57.000 so this is in berlin so king friedrich wilhelm is the king there his brother-in-law is the czar

00:47:03.460 of russia and the czar of russia is visiting berlin so there's a military parade going on

00:47:08.540 and frankly like what we're seeing happening in london right now like similar to that stuff right

00:47:12.640 just like crowds the queue the queue is there to see lola montez if i have been following news of

00:47:20.160 the queue from my apartment in chicago with great interest you is baffling to me but there's a

00:47:26.980 similar vibe where just everyone's just excited something is happening and like everybody's there

00:47:31.640 so lola was among the crowd of people so there's this military parade going on but it was like not

00:47:36.260 well planned i guess more people showed up than they expected lola was riding a horse because

00:47:41.460 that's people a little bit extra at any time yeah yeah exactly so she's on her horse that's why she 1.00

00:47:48.080 has the horse whip allison foreshadowing okay yeah so she was just like do do do and then she rode 0.99

00:47:53.320 into the area reserved for vip nobility yeah because there's kind of chaos and she was just 0.93

00:47:58.800 like excuse me i'll sneak right in here exactly so a guard came over and when he tried to remove

00:48:05.120 her she lashed out at him with her riding whip he's doing his job this was a big deal um this

00:48:13.400 was like you know attacking a army soldier he's kind of like punching the secret service in the

00:48:19.740 face right like it's not great when you're like you know a yard away from the like leader of the

00:48:25.480 free world um so she got a summons at her hotel to answer the charge of assault on a soldier

00:48:32.280 when she received the summons which is a piece of paper um she flew into a rage ripped up the

00:48:36.900 summons and stamped on the pieces yosemite sam god bless so then her dancing her dance does

00:48:45.780 involve apparently a lot of petulant stamping so this is maybe also what she's known by

00:48:49.680 with her beautiful her beautiful feet so then she was charged with an even more serious offense

00:48:54.580 contempt of the judicial process but the whole thing seems to not have gone to trial likely

00:48:59.160 because the king was a fan of hers but the story of her whipping an army guy spread across europe

00:49:05.940 and almost all of the early prints of lola show her holding a riding crop which became her

00:49:10.860 signature and this is the first of more than one whip based events that she does so she moved on

00:49:18.060 to warsaw which here's what i wrote we won't get into it but she was kicked out of the country

00:49:25.980 poland yeah entire poland yeah just these things happen when you're her yes it was something about

00:49:34.700 she like the like chief of police made a move on her and she like smashed a wine bottle on his 0.98

00:49:39.480 head or something like that if that's the case then good for her yeah and then she continued 1.00

00:49:43.700 know like some of her whipping and like attacks that people are like whenever a man made an 1.00

00:49:48.360 unwelcome pass at her she would like break things on their heads and that would get her arrested

00:49:52.980 sometimes but honestly i like that as a vibe anyway so she continued on to saint petersburg

00:49:58.760 performing randomly along the way but by the time she got to saint petersburg her reputation from

00:50:03.980 what happened what happened in warsaw stays in warsaw but not this time but but what happened

00:50:11.340 there was too much that the czar wouldn't allow her to perform so just what happened in warsaw

00:50:17.540 leave it here in imagination she was kicked out not allowed to turn to poland don't worry about

00:50:23.140 it so she was like where should i go now now that i'm in saint petersburg and blacklisted by the

00:50:31.540 country of poland what should i do exactly and then here's what she wrote a coincidence was to

00:50:37.580 resolve my doubts as it so often happened that suddenly without warning totally unpredictable

00:50:41.540 events turned the course of my life and drove me in a new direction led me to a new country that

00:50:46.260 a quarter hour before would never have occurred to me to visit so it seems to have happened is

00:50:50.520 she picked up a newspaper at random in a train station and the newspaper had a list of list

00:50:56.240 is a pun um talking about frond's list oh i give you your retroactive points for the pun thank you

00:51:03.500 thank you so it was just the schedule franz list was doing some performances and she decided to

00:51:08.580 try and meet him to advance her career the modern day equivalent of that would be like if i picked

00:51:15.380 up the new york times and saw an article about like billy eilish and i was just like you know

00:51:20.320 what i'm gonna do and go to her house maybe she can help like incredible yeah so franz list there

00:51:27.020 was listomania he was like really popular yeah in this era so he was a hungarian international

00:51:33.840 celebrity she attended his concert in dresden shot him her smoldery eyes look and he was in

00:51:39.560 i thought you were just gonna say she shot him

00:51:41.600 she does later start carrying a pistol but we're not there yet okay no she was just alive

00:51:48.620 she gave him a smoldery eyes look across the who did that was that that was one of charles 1.00

00:51:54.740 seconds mistresses was just like and then he was like i like your eyes she proposed to him that 1.00

00:52:00.540 they unite their artistic paths and he's gonna be an unbalanced union right there she will stomp 0.99

00:52:08.900 around to his beautiful music he agreed and she moved into adjoining rooms at his hotel

00:52:13.400 oh my god really yeah i studied list like in high school and no one ever brought this drama up but

00:52:20.140 i'm so disappointed yeah this is wonderful just like imagine the personal magnetism

00:52:27.460 required for someone to show up at your house and be like hi i want to be your partner franz list

00:52:35.100 most famous composer in europe and he's just like yes and i think there were a lot i think he had a

00:52:40.700 lot of groupies yeah but she like she was not like she was very striking looking which is again why

00:52:46.620 any of the pictures because it's like okay like she is memorable that's too much her detriment 0.87

00:52:51.180 very memorable looking she's very beautiful but she's like clearly got this like wild charisma

00:52:57.120 that she just can convince anyone to do anything um while hanging out with list she also this is

00:53:03.380 like it's a real forrest gump story of just like her meeting every famous person of the 19th century

00:53:08.600 in europe she met wagner who later wrote about her as a heartless demonic being honestly that's

00:53:17.680 the response you want from wagner that's what you hope wagner says about you yeah um so meanwhile

00:53:23.060 list wrote about her as the most perfect the most enchanting creature i have ever known

00:53:27.460 all right bronze he promised to arrange her debut at the paris opera

00:53:33.260 so like just for scale like the paris opera is like we've got like a corp de ballet like

00:53:43.120 these are people who have like trained for years maybe decades to like perfect the art form of

00:53:48.620 like dancing performance and lola is just like i studied spanish dancing for four months

00:53:52.960 i'm also from spain like they're like we can get you to perform the intermission

00:53:59.560 so it's 1844 paris is the cultural capital of europe list had given her letters of introduction

00:54:06.620 and of course everyone there loved her the head of the paris opera to his credit was reluctant

00:54:12.860 to have her perform an intermission because she was not a good dancer is that what he said

00:54:18.680 sorry guys she's not good that's that's my it's a real emperor's new clothes moment of like 0.93

00:54:25.920 everyone like list is like i love her she's perfection itself they're like but is she

00:54:31.680 can't can she dance friends um but meanwhile she's making friends with the movers and shakers

00:54:37.620 of the bohemian artistic community um this is around when she became friends with george sand

00:54:43.620 who i asked you about can you explain a notorious pants wearer of history yes so george sand was

00:54:50.540 a woman who wore pants and wrote books that's what i know yes i didn't look this up to verify

00:54:57.560 it but i'm pretty sure that she and chopin were an item for a long time until chopin died of

00:55:02.240 tuberculosis but that's how i know her yeah and she glimpsing like there's so many rabbit holes

00:55:11.140 i could have gone down in this story and i i couldn't but i do know that she's also famous

00:55:15.140 were so anyway apparently lola hung out with george zan wearing pants hey pants moment there's

00:55:21.860 no rumors about them being lovers but i feel like everyone was lovers at that point so like

00:55:26.160 who knows she also became friends with alexandre dumas pair the author of the three musketeers

00:55:33.680 and other famous books and he was a very famous like what's the word bon vivant he was just kind

00:55:41.620 like a really charming i'm trying to think of someone who's like that now just someone who's

00:55:46.580 just like so charming and witty and fun and like everyone just like flocks like how brandon tyler

00:55:51.700 is on twitter it's like what alexander tumal was like i was just like oh this guy's got the wit

00:55:56.740 anyway so he's in the midst of writing the three musketeers like she just arrived in that moment

00:56:01.560 he was maybe her lover like everyone who she met at this point people like and that was her lover

00:56:06.440 and it's like i don't know because maybe but she really seemed to go like serial monogamy lover to 0.54

00:56:15.380 lover like i don't know if she's just like free love sleeping around maybe she also was for sure

00:56:20.400 we know that she had a lover who was alexandre du jarrier the owner of the newspaper with the

00:56:26.080 highest circulation in france coincidentally also the drama critic it's extremely convenient lola

00:56:31.400 through their romance lola revitalized her career as a dancer oh i don't think i said but yeah her

00:56:38.760 performance at the paris opera did not go over well no

00:56:41.380 alas yeah but becoming friends with the most high circulating drama critic that worked um it helped 0.88

00:56:53.320 anyway but then later on after the two had a quarrel over whatever lola doing something

00:57:00.840 wild du chariot attended a party um and in a drunken state offended of another guy who challenged him 0.99

00:57:10.260 to a duel and lola was like oh shit you don't know how to shoot a gun you're just a drama critic 0.95

00:57:14.320 she knew how to shoot a gun why i'm not sure but she had a pistol and she's like please let me teach 0.99

00:57:18.660 you how to shoot a gun he's like no no i can figure this out of course he died in the duel

00:57:22.140 um i'm sorry that's not funny no and this is this is not the only duel that's going to come up in

00:57:30.160 the story uh without his support she was no longer employable as a dancer in paris well that does say

00:57:37.660 something about the quality of the dancing so she's just like she she just like okay so she 0.99

00:57:44.660 partied she went to various spas she tried to find wealthy men who would pay her to dance while she

00:57:50.420 figured out her next move eventually she wound up in munich and this is where she coincides with

00:57:58.460 ludwig so ludwig this is not crucially so cc's cousin friend was ludwig the second

00:58:08.120 of bavaria the castles of mad king ludwig is the grandson of this ludwig so this is ludwig the

00:58:16.060 first so different guy same bavarian laid-back vibe so this is something else so when i was

00:58:23.340 researching cc so i have this oh i have a year i have this like 1965 biography of cc out of print

00:58:29.800 but whatever the library had it hooray called the lonely empress and there are these great passages

00:58:34.340 but lola montez where i was researching cc and i was like oh what if i research lola montez no

00:58:38.740 you're researching cc and i'm like i'm gonna but i'm gonna renew this book from the library because

00:58:44.240 okay i'm gonna quote from this book by joan haslip like a beautiful black raven the notorious dancer

00:58:51.480 lola montez had swooped down upon munich seizing as her prey the gullible old king

00:58:56.380 this book is so good the lonely address it's it's all written like that i was just like this is

00:59:04.220 i love the writing style of this just like uh yes but it goes on few lovely women have ever

00:59:11.520 roused so much hatred and antagonism as this irish-born adventuress who within a few months

00:59:16.980 of her arrival in bavaria had succeeded in completely disrupting the most peaceful and 1.00

00:59:21.040 conservative of countries conquering not only the king's heart but insisting on dictating his policy

00:59:25.540 so ludwig who's like 60 years old i think she's god knows you know 22 or something

00:59:35.260 um so he was alerted that the spanish dancer lola montez was in town and would like to perform at

00:59:41.740 his theater he was coincidentally and actually not coincidentally probably she knew this he was

00:59:47.120 currently obsessed with spain and spanish and beautiful women so he uh one of those things she

00:59:53.940 actually is he requested a private meeting with her um and so this is probably an apocryphal story

01:00:02.540 comma but maybe it's not and it's a great story and this was one of the first things i read where

01:00:08.440 i was just like i have to do this on the podcast i can't this i owe it to the tits out brigade to

01:00:12.820 the story so apparently he invited her to meet him and she wore her like best you know black

01:00:17.420 velvet spanish got all her shawls out put on her mantilla got her castanets ready to go i'm sure

01:00:26.080 she did um she's always with her castanets her bullwhip and her pistol oh there's also i don't

01:00:32.280 even know when this happened in the story but maybe this is what happened in warsaw she was

01:00:36.060 showing how she kept a dagger hidden in her garter at all times and people are so shocked that she

01:00:40.840 like showed her leg maybe that's why she's kicked her to worsa anyway she was armed at all times

01:00:45.260 anyway so the meeting i won't delay so he went like she went to meet him in his office

01:00:51.260 and he allegedly pointed right at her breasts and said nature or art

01:00:57.200 which i want to say i'm pretty sure breast implants not invented so i think he was asking

01:01:05.040 like is this padding or are you actually this voluptuous uh-huh and she strolled right up to 1.00

01:01:10.740 his desk picked up a pair of scissors cut open her dress and revealed her breasts to him the

01:01:15.560 literal hits out moment this is where i'm like i can't this is where i'm just like not that i

01:01:22.280 wasn't already in but this is one of the first things i read about her and i'm like i'm in i

01:01:25.940 can't not be in like this is yeah gorgeous now this is probably not strictly true because then 0.89

01:01:33.340 she would have had to have gone home with a cut open kids out dress and honestly sounds like she 0.97

01:01:37.920 might have done but someone would have written about it um so he agreed to let her perform in

01:01:43.900 munich during the break of a play ironically titled the enchanted prince um he wanted to

01:01:50.440 have her painted for his gallery of beauties so he just had like the most beautiful women he met

01:01:55.240 he just had them painted and he like had a gallery of beautiful women in his house sidebar this guy 0.98

01:02:00.820 is gross

01:02:01.640 i mean he's not not um he was in love with her and she took advantage of that and began

01:02:12.560 considering herself his royal mistress um even though i don't think they'd slept together yet

01:02:16.980 but he just started giving her he she became his favorite like she was she was his favorite

01:02:21.160 and she was just like i consider that because royal mistress she okay so there's a lot of like

01:02:27.500 religious-y stuff going on

01:02:29.420 that I'm going to skip over 1.00

01:02:30.440 because there's not room

01:02:31.800 for this discussion

01:02:32.560 and I don't care

01:02:33.640 to read about that

01:02:35.020 because that's not interesting

01:02:36.100 to me as cutting open

01:02:37.360 your dress 1.00

01:02:37.940 for a tits-out moment. 0.95

01:02:40.040 But anyway,

01:02:40.480 so she was born in Ireland.

01:02:43.080 She was, 0.74

01:02:44.460 but it's like Ireland

01:02:45.520 during the British colonial era.

01:02:47.660 So she herself

01:02:48.200 was a Protestant person.

01:02:50.620 But as Lola Montez,

01:02:52.460 she had to pretend

01:02:52.940 she was Catholic 0.99

01:02:53.580 because Spanish people

01:02:56.100 were Catholic.

01:02:57.500 um i'm sure she did a great job of pretending to be a catholic too which is like oh no she like

01:03:03.940 accidentally like went to protestant services and stuff um look i am the catholic how you say

01:03:09.320 i picture her like being at a catholic mass and everyone's saying the prayers and she's just like

01:03:14.080 like pretending she knows all the words plus if we're committing all the way while doing

01:03:18.880 no research at all no yeah she didn't need to apparently anyway so she encouraged him to become

01:03:24.280 a freemason yes um and there were rumors spread that she was a secret agent of the british foreign

01:03:30.780 secretary which is like you know what i wish no she was not it was she was the tortoise laying

01:03:36.800 the eggs and just doing she's just a random person she had no plan spy in the whole world

01:03:43.260 it's like it's like if the pink panther was a spy that's what reminds me it's like absolutely not

01:03:48.320 no so she encouraged him to become a freemason rumors spread she was a secret agent ludwig wrote

01:03:54.140 i'm now like a man of 40 or even a youth of 20 because he's he's 60 he's like i'm so young i feel

01:04:01.980 40 which to him is yeah um i'm in the grip of passion like never before i i am happy my life

01:04:10.980 has a new vitality i'm young again the world smiles on me this is not true bavaria bavaria

01:04:18.960 was not smiling on him in this situation like as i described like the raven haired temptress

01:04:24.080 anyway so he just gave her like a pension and money um she began assembling her own royal

01:04:31.580 court i think she's just like this is you know she's just like failing upwards and she's like

01:04:36.180 i was always destined for this um her she also got a large black dog who she named turk she

01:04:43.680 always had a dog with her until later she gets a different pet but again i'll tell you that later

01:04:48.080 anyway but her walking this giant black dog turk around was like a famous like people saw that all

01:04:53.600 the time and love it only a medium racist name for a dog all things considered she did also have

01:05:00.160 a dog called jip um there we go yeah anyway so she had the dog but she also like was still

01:05:07.680 maybe like she would still see men alone which was like not what one did were they her lovers

01:05:13.840 i don't know but i think she just didn't she liked men more than women she liked hanging with men 1.00

01:05:20.100 when there's one guy who she wanted to visit but he didn't come by so then she like stormed she

01:05:24.840 like walked through town everyone saw her um she went to like the place where he lived she rang

01:05:30.200 every doorbell because she wasn't sure which place he lived in so like waking up everybody there and

01:05:33.800 something i think she would have broken every window of this building true carrie underwood 0.62

01:05:39.680 style yeah yes big yeah carrie underwood like keying the truck energy um so she did stuff 1.00

01:05:49.660 like that the police went to investigate her for breaking all the windows and she was like that 1.00

01:05:53.380 wasn't me someone must have impersonated me that was another lady wearing a spanish shawl with

01:05:58.840 walking with a giant dog um ludwig amended his will to leave her with a pension as long as she 0.85

01:06:06.600 never married um he also so there's a whole thing with her citizenship which so she was pretending

01:06:14.480 she was spanish passports existed at this time like like you could check yeah yeah um but so

01:06:22.720 she couldn't show her like actual i don't know i guess she would have been a citizen of britain

01:06:26.740 um or maybe she had an irish passport anyway but she couldn't show those because those showed her

01:06:31.380 real name and that she wasn't spanish so she had no papers um so he was working at getting her

01:06:38.360 bavarian citizenship um so she could be elevated to nobility

01:06:43.540 her influence on the king and you know there's been other stories not just on the podcast but 0.65

01:06:52.560 it's just like oh this woman she's such a bad influence on the king she was like bewitching

01:06:56.000 him it's like here that's actually true she actually is a bad influence on him um she is 0.99

01:07:00.340 a monster person she was extremely unpopular with the bavarian people who imagine yeah from 0.98

01:07:08.280 we know they're just like a chill laid back people who are just like riding horses climbing 0.89

01:07:12.000 mountains like that's their vibe and she's just running around i'm from spain but i don't know

01:07:20.960 horse whipping people whatever to be continued we're going to end there for this week next week

01:07:28.720 we'll have the thrilling conclusion of the saga of the irish english raised in india and also in

01:07:35.760 scotland spiritually spanish um just this hot mess that is and was lola montez including a

01:07:44.720 reveal of where her grave is spoiler i think a lot of you might live in the country where it is

01:07:50.900 so stay tuned for that later allison will be back of course because i can't not finish the story and

01:07:58.180 have her there talking about it so yeah in terms of everything this season is still just like

01:08:06.040 barreling ahead just like a train that just keeps going so we're we've got several more episodes

01:08:12.520 including of course next week the new lolo montez episode there's yet more to come and i have an

01:08:17.880 incredibly long document and i want to make it longer and i'm happy to make it longer of

01:08:22.080 suggestions from you the tits out brigade of people you'd like to hear me talk about on vocal

01:08:26.800 history you can find that at vulgarhistory.com there's like a button that leads you to a form

01:08:32.600 you can also send me a message on my instagram at vulgar history pod and also on twitter at

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01:09:01.500 store at vulgarhistory.store and when you're there you can use code tits out for free us

01:09:06.480 shipping or tits out 10 for 10 off and if you would like to support me on patreon if you go

01:09:13.080 to patreon.com and foster writer there's a really cute community growing there i post all the

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01:09:25.560 can take part in there like polls and then also you can oh also the episodes there are ad free

01:09:31.280 and yeah if you pledge at least five dollars or more a month then you get the bonus episodes 0.98

01:09:36.660 which if you just join now you've got like a huge archive there of so this asshole you've 0.94

01:09:40.160 got vulgar peace theater so yeah that's what's happening on patreon anyway we will be back 0.93

01:09:45.900 next week allison will be here as well for the thrilling conclusion of the truly unbelievable 0.99

01:09:52.400 and just like unrelentingly tits out saga of Lola Montez.

01:09:58.780 Until then, you know what to do, 1.00

01:10:00.920 and that is to keep your pants on and your tits out. 0.99

01:10:07.040 Vulgar History is hosted, written, and researched by Anne Foster 1.00

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Vulgar History - October 11, 2022

International, part 30： Irish Grifter Lola Montez (pt 1⧸2)

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Transcript