Vulgar History - September 23, 2024


So This Asshole: Louis XIV

Topics
Women Leaders, part 3: Boudica (Literally) Burned London Down (Rerelease) French Revolution: Witnesses (part 1): Madame du Barry, Versailles Hot Girl

Episode Stats


Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

27

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
00:00:00.000 hello and welcome to vlogger history the feminist women's history comedy podcast and this is a bonus
00:00:14.320 episode so we're about to start season seven part two this whole series is about marie antoinette
00:00:21.020 it's called how do you solve a problem like marie antoinette season seven part one we were
00:00:24.940 kind of looking at what was happening in other places during marie antoinette's life like
00:00:29.460 specifically a lot of what was going on in the United States. Season 7, Part 2, we're going to
00:00:34.520 be looking at Meanwhile Back in France, what was happening in France. We're kind of setting the
00:00:39.200 stage for what Marie Antoinette was up to. And a lot of that involves Versailles. And Versailles 0.90
00:00:45.740 was, as we know it, was very much invented by Louis XIV. And I had done this episode about
00:00:51.720 Louis XIV on my Patreon. So I have a series on Patreon where when there's a man who I encounter
00:00:57.860 in a story who's terrible, or honestly, a woman who is terrible, just a person who I don't want
00:01:02.600 to celebrate, a person who maybe I want to learn a bit more about, but who is not really a regular
00:01:08.200 vulgar history type person. I do those on the Patreon in a series that's called on Patreon,
00:01:14.340 So This Asshole. But, you know, just because of the way that some podcast apps don't like
00:01:22.260 swear words, we're calling it. So this goofball. And so this is an episode from Patreon. And this 0.89
00:01:27.000 is so for people who join the patreon at the five dollars per month or more level uh they get
00:01:32.380 access to all these bonus episodes and this one i'm just making available to everybody because
00:01:35.840 it really sets the scene for what we're going to be talking about starting on wednesday with the
00:01:41.060 upcoming next episode of vulgar history so this is me from a bit ago i learned about louis the 14th 0.91
00:01:48.160 and i shared what i learned and the thing about these episodes the so this asshole slash so this 0.77
00:01:53.020 goofball episodes. They're more casual than a Vulgar History episode, which you might be like, 0.75
00:01:58.340 Vulgar History is already pretty casual. But I'll say, because it's for Patreon,
00:02:02.640 it's a bonus thing. I learn some things and then I share it and I don't use as many sources as I do
00:02:08.800 for a regular Vulgar History episode. But part of that is because when you're researching these
00:02:12.500 very famous men from history, there's always a book or even just like the Wikipedia entry has
00:02:17.820 got kind of everything you need to know. You don't have to dig around as much. Anyway, this is a
00:02:22.200 bonus so enjoy this discussion of louis the 14th hello and welcome to so this asshole of vulgar 0.55
00:02:37.040 history it's been a podcast just for you the patreons i'm so i'm happy to be sharing this
00:02:45.020 story with you i got a bit off of the regular monthly schedule for recording these because
00:02:49.740 his like life and also what is time but here we are talking about louis the 14th aka louis
00:02:59.820 cator's aka marie mancini's ex the one that got away so he is an extraordinarily well-known
00:03:08.020 person i just didn't know about him myself until recently ish because i have never really studied
00:03:15.960 this part of French history. Like there's a TV show called Versailles several years ago. I don't
00:03:20.760 know, like 10 years ago. And it looked really beautiful. And it took, it has taken me a while
00:03:25.900 to realize that I just like, don't watch costume dramas that much. And I was like, oh, this is a
00:03:31.980 show I'll like, but it's a costume drama. And it's also mostly about men characters, which is like
00:03:37.840 two strikes against it for me. Like again, all the respect for costume dramas, Rain, my favorite show
00:03:42.460 of all time. Since I've been doing this podcast and doing history work, like costume dramas are
00:03:46.520 not a restful thing for me to watch because it feels like work a little bit. So when I'm watching
00:03:53.200 TV, I like to watch, lately, old seasons of Survivor or Murder, She Wrote. Anyway, so I was
00:04:00.040 like, okay, Versailles. The men have the most beautiful wigs. I think the show is well known
00:04:03.740 for having beautiful men, long hair, wigs, but also, so it's a historical drama, mostly about
00:04:09.060 men and also about a history like a time period i do not personally know a lot about which is
00:04:15.420 like the same time the same similar issues as when i first tried watching the white queen
00:04:19.800 the elizabeth woodville show on stars because before i knew about the war of the roses i was
00:04:24.980 just like i don't know what this story is anyway so i've avoided thus far in my life learning about
00:04:31.060 lou the 14th until now and i'm gonna share with you what i learned by reading the wikipedia article
00:04:36.520 I know there are several new members of the Patreon since the last time I posted a So This
00:04:42.020 Asshole episode. So just as a reminder to everybody, because the men we talk about on
00:04:46.860 this show are really well known, I don't need to do very much digging around to find information
00:04:53.440 about them. And also, this is a fun time to just chat me and you, you know, it's, I do less
00:05:00.480 research for this show because I don't need to do as much research because the facts are just there
00:05:04.480 in the world. So my source for this is literally just the Wikipedia page, but I edited out all of
00:05:10.580 the boring military bits because that's not what I'm here for. That's not what you come to me for.
00:05:15.840 That's not what I'm about. So Louis XIV, who is, oh wait, let me just check because I think
00:05:21.440 Google remembers me looking at this before. So the list of the longest reigning monarchs, I think
00:05:26.580 Queen Elizabeth II is like inching her way up towards Louis XIV. So Louis XIV was king for
00:05:33.520 72 years, 110 days. Elizabeth II, as of the day I'm recording this, which is September 3rd,
00:05:42.000 has been queen for 70 years, 209 days. Is she going to hold on for basically two more years
00:05:48.020 just to get ahead? I don't know, maybe. But he reigned for so long because he started off as
00:05:54.200 king when he was very young and he stayed king until he was very old. So he was born September
00:05:59.740 5th. Oh, it's just almost his birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday episode of So This
00:06:05.120 Asshole. So he was born on September 5th, 1638. His parents were Louis XIII and his wife, Anne
00:06:12.940 of Austria, who, again, I'm just going to double check, but I think was Habsburg. Anne of Austria
00:06:19.500 was, oh, for sure. Yeah, she's Habsburg. She's from Spain. She became queen of France. Anyway, 0.81
00:06:26.100 she's a pretty formidable person as we will see so he was named Louis Diodonnet which means Louis
00:06:33.100 the god-given um and he bore the traditional title of French heir apparent Dauphin so at the
00:06:38.660 time of his birth his parents had been married for 23 years his mother had experienced four still
00:06:43.760 births before this um and so this was very much like it was the rainbow baby moment so he was
00:06:50.080 sort of a divine gift his birth was a miracle of God and his relationship with his mother was
00:06:55.420 what it says here, uncommonly affectionate for the time. Like we've talked about this. This is
00:07:00.080 the era of like Hortense Mancini, like parents and kids do not spend time together. Like this is
00:07:05.580 circa within the era of Anne of Denmark, James I's wife, who everyone was so freaked out that
00:07:15.340 she wanted to like spend time with her children. Everyone's like, what are you doing? So he spent
00:07:19.080 time with his mom, unusual. The two of them, they were great pals. They're both greatly interested
00:07:23.340 in food and theater. Like she was interested in that. And then he became interested in that
00:07:27.260 because they hung out so much and they had a close relationship. So importantly, it was his
00:07:32.880 mother who gave Louis his belief in the absolute and divine power of his monarchical rule. So the
00:07:40.540 whole thing about absolute power crept absolutely may or may not have been right about him, but
00:07:44.880 that's certainly what his deal became. So his father sensed his own death coming. I guess he
00:07:53.380 was sick or something. So when Louis was four years old, this was happening. The custom at the
00:07:59.680 time would have made Queen Anne the sole regent of France, like the regent while Louis was a little
00:08:04.900 boy. But Louis XIII decreed that a regency council would rule on his son's behalf because he didn't
00:08:11.380 have faith in his wife's political abilities, which is like mistake number one, but he did
00:08:17.020 make her the head of the council. So then he died. And four days after he died, Queen Anne had the
00:08:25.460 will annulled by the parliament of Paris, which abolished the regency council. So like he had,
00:08:31.280 like he didn't have faith in her political abilities, like four days after he died, 1.00
00:08:34.060 she was like, fuck you. So this made Anne the sole regent of France. And yeah, so she kind of 1.00
00:08:41.820 was in charge. One of her most important political decisions, maybe the most important,
00:08:46.500 was to nominate our old friend Cardinal Mazarin, the uncle of the Mazarinettes, as her chief
00:08:52.360 minister. Yeah, so she wanted to give her son, I'm talking about her because this like really
00:08:56.160 sets the scene for like, Louis is a little boy for a lot of the story. She wanted to give him
00:09:00.520 absolute authority and a victorious kingdom. And so she chose Mazarin as her right-hand man
00:09:05.460 because of his ability to like be schemey and his total dependence on her. Let's see. So she
00:09:11.760 protected him by arresting and exiling her followers who conspired against him. Um, she
00:09:16.140 left the direction of daily administration of policy to Cardinal Mazarin, who I have to just
00:09:20.340 tell you, I'm being very good on this podcast and the main podcast to always call him Cardinal
00:09:24.420 Maserat, but I started thinking of him as Cardi Maz. And that's, I have to like translate to
00:09:30.520 myself, Cardinal Maserat, not Cardi Maz. There's a lot of play setting, but it's important. So
00:09:36.120 a civil war known as the Fronde, which is the French word for the slings used to smash windows.
00:09:43.160 So like slingshots. So a civil war known as the slingshot erupted in France. So Anne and
00:09:50.860 Cardi Maas had, basically people were mad at them. She believed in the divine right of kings
00:09:57.420 of France. The people who were their enemies did not like them and maybe did not believe in that
00:10:02.160 also. So yeah, so she advocated a policy in all matters relating to the king's authority,
00:10:07.720 a very radical one. She imprisoned any aristocrat or member of parliament who challenged her will
00:10:12.720 because she wanted to transfer to her son an absolute authority in the matters of finance
00:10:16.720 and justice. So the Fronders were not, I don't know. It just seems like, again, I don't know
00:10:23.040 a lot about the history of France, but it seems like it's just like perpetual revolutions happening,
00:10:28.700 people not being fans of the government, which I guess is why she wanted to give her son absolute
00:10:32.760 power, et cetera. Paris erupted in rioting. Louis was 12 at this point. A mob of angry Parisians
00:10:40.180 broke into the Royal Palace and demanded to see him. And they were in fact, I guess, I don't know,
00:10:45.000 armed or whatever. They were led into the royal bedchamber. They looked at him, he pretended to
00:10:50.060 be asleep, and then they left. This threat to the royal family made Anne decide to flee Paris with 0.95
00:10:56.300 the king and the courtiers. Eventually, a political compromise was reached. The court returned to
00:11:02.360 Paris. And this would have been long-term traumatizing for Louis, obviously, and explained
00:11:08.280 his later distrust of a paris and be the aristocracy so and that's i don't know so the
00:11:15.860 frond ended then there was a second frond started another slingshot based war named war i guess
00:11:21.880 they weren't just warring with slingshots so this was another upper class insurrection again queen
00:11:27.980 anne was pretty crucial in defeating the frond uh mazarin ended up going into exile for a number
00:11:35.200 of years. The Fronders this time claimed to be acting on Louis' behalf and in his interest against 0.98
00:11:41.020 his mother and Cardi Maz, who they did not like. Anyway, so he eventually came of age, became the
00:11:47.620 king, and then the Fronders kind of lost steam and just petered out. They kind of ended. Cardi Maz
00:11:53.340 returned from exile and Anne was no longer their regent. During this period, Louis is a hot young
00:12:00.340 we know what happened he fell in love with cardi mez's niece marie mancini but his mother and
00:12:05.620 cardi mez ended this by sending marie away from court to be married in italy to that guy who was
00:12:10.620 terrible and who she later escaped because he tried to poison her etc so i'm just skimming 0.99
00:12:17.760 past because this is talking things we know about marie mancini yeah so she wanted to marry
00:12:23.340 louis to the daughter of philip the fourth of spain so a spanish wife so louis was declared
00:12:29.600 to reach the age of majority 1651, Cardi Maz died 10 years later, at which point Louis assumed
00:12:36.240 personal control of the reins of government and astonished his court by declaring he would rule
00:12:39.960 without a chief minister. So the treasury version bankruptcy, he's not doing great.
00:12:47.860 I think it's around this time. I'm sure I'm going to get to it later in these notes where he just
00:12:50.880 kind of like forcibly moved the whole court to Versailles so that they could be there trapped
00:12:55.160 with him. Lana Wood Johnson has talked about this, I think, in some of the vulgar peace theater
00:12:58.780 episodes, maybe the main episodes too, but he, or maybe he just did like DMs with me where I was
00:13:04.660 like, what's this deal? But he, to stop them from being able to complain about him, he just kept
00:13:10.160 them in thrall to him all the time, trapped everybody at Versailles. I guess that's what
00:13:13.720 the TV show Versailles is about. Again, haven't watched it. So yeah, there's issues with money
00:13:19.660 and things. This is part of why presumably he was borrowing money from Hortense Mancini's
00:13:27.460 horrible husband and that was the whole reason why he wouldn't annul their marriage because he
00:13:30.500 needed the money from him as a money lender so uh one of his more infamous this is a section
00:13:36.220 called relations with major colonies because this is the big colonize a palooza for western
00:13:42.060 european nations so there was the black code or the code noir which was a decree that sanctioned
00:13:49.340 slavery but attempted to humanize the practice by prohibiting the separation of families um in
00:13:55.260 french colonies only roman catholics could own slaves and the slaves had to be or the slave
00:14:00.200 people had to be baptized so i don't know this is apparently one of his more infamous degrees
00:14:05.200 decrees french colonies multiplied in africa the americas in asia during his reign french
00:14:10.700 explorers made discoveries quote-unquote in north america france also tempted to participate actively
00:14:16.600 in jesuit missions to china so he's just like going all over the place he's like the french
00:14:23.020 this is like i'm gonna guess this is like the peak of french influence internationally his
00:14:29.980 librarian and translator arcadio huang was chinese so he's uh got some international
00:14:36.040 influences there as well so domestically the success of all this colonization work um increased
00:14:42.520 the influence of the crown and its authority over the church and aristocracy thus consolidating
00:14:46.820 absolute monarchy in France. Here we go. So by forcing his nobles to stay at Versailles, he
00:14:53.700 achieved increased control over the French aristocracy. He turned the palace into an
00:14:58.500 irresistible combination of marriage market, employment agency, and entertainment capital
00:15:02.460 of aristocratic Europe, boasting the best theater, opera, music, gambling, sex, and most important
00:15:06.800 to him, I guess, hunting. And also because he just like hated Paris. So apartments were built
00:15:13.800 to house those who wanted to stay there, but the pensions and privileges necessary to live in a
00:15:18.660 style approved to the rank were only possible by waiting constantly on Louis. So an elaborate court
00:15:25.040 ritual was created where the king became the center of attention and was observed throughout
00:15:28.520 the day by the public with his excellent memory. I don't, this sounds almost like a photographic
00:15:33.120 memory level, like a Mary Lou Henner situation. Lou could see who attended him at court and who
00:15:37.840 was absent facilitating the subsequent distribution of favors and positions. So only the people he saw
00:15:43.420 would get money which encouraged people to just be gazing at him all the time he also controlled
00:15:49.760 the nobility through censorship which involved opening letters to discern their author's opinion
00:15:54.100 of the government and king or it says moreover by entertaining impressing and domesticating
00:15:59.340 the aristocrats with extravagant luxury and other distractions louis not only cultivated public
00:16:04.220 opinion of him but he also ensured the aristocracy remained under his scrutiny so they're too busy
00:16:08.900 trying to impress him to do another fronde situation. I like the details in this next
00:16:16.280 paragraph. So his extravagance at Versailles extended far beyond the scope of elaborate
00:16:20.960 court rituals. He took delivery of an African elephant as a gift from the king of Portugal.
00:16:25.580 He encouraged the nobles to live at Versailles. This, along with a prohibition of private armies,
00:16:29.820 prevented them from passing time on their own estates and in their regional power bases,
00:16:34.240 from which they historically waged local wars and plotted resistance to royal authority.
00:16:37.660 so he basically turned the old military aristocracy into becoming ceremonial courtiers which weak
00:16:44.820 their power in their place he raised commoners or the more recently ennobled bureaucratic aristocrats
00:16:51.300 so it is believed very vague descriptor but this tracks with what i'm figuring out louis policies
00:16:59.260 were rooted in his experiences during the front when men of high birth readily took up the rebel
00:17:03.480 cause against him so this victory of the nobility may or it ensured the end of major civil wars
00:17:10.100 within france until the french revolution about a hundred years later and that was lots of things
00:17:15.460 are going on but the thing is louis was like good at being king in the context of what that looks
00:17:22.340 like and means in a way that like his grandson was not if the grandson if the louis during the
00:17:29.360 French Revolution as his grandson. The one played by Jason Schwartzman in the movie. So yeah, under
00:17:35.700 Louis, France was the leading European power. Most wars pivoted around its aggressiveness.
00:17:41.300 No European state exceeded it in population and now it could match its wealth central location
00:17:45.000 and very strong professional army. But here's the juicy slash more interesting part. That was just
00:17:50.820 kind of place setting. So personal life, marriages and children. So his wife was Maria Teresa of
00:17:55.160 spain they had six children but however only one child the eldest survived adulthood which is louis
00:18:03.100 le grand dauphin also known as monseigneur i like there's another person who i'm not talking about
00:18:10.780 here but around the same era who's called la grande mademoiselle like french people great
00:18:16.120 nicknames. So Maria Teresa died in 1683. And despite evidence of affection early on in their
00:18:26.800 marriage, Louis was never faithful to Maria Teresa, but like, nor was he expected to be.
00:18:31.120 This was the whole thing about like the maîtresse en titre, the whole official mistress thing that
00:18:36.280 Charles II was like, let's do that in England now too. So it's like, no, he was not monogamous to
00:18:42.360 her and no one expected him to be. And that wasn't the way the court ran because the mistress had
00:18:45.560 all this power, right? So numerous mistresses, they all have fabulous French names. I'll just 1.00
00:18:53.000 say a couple of them. Francoise Atanaïs, the Marquise de Montespan, who is, I think, well-known,
00:18:59.960 Madame de Montespan has talked about. He had seven children together. He also had this, you know,
00:19:05.000 sort of frenemy slash like maybe lovers thing with Olympe Mancini. So through his various
00:19:12.020 liaisons with his mistresses, he produced numerous illegitimate children, most of whom he married to
00:19:16.300 members of cadet branches of the royal family because they were cool with illegitimate children
00:19:20.180 in France. So he did marry again. So his second wife was Françoise d'Aubigné, the Marquise de
00:19:26.660 Maintenance. Maintenance means now in French, doesn't it? Like the Marquise of now. And now
00:19:33.260 for a quick advertising break. The war is over and both sides lost. Kingdoms were reduced to
00:19:41.520 cinders, and armies scattered like bones in the dust. Now the survivors claw to what's left of
00:19:48.800 a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight. But in the shadow dark,
00:19:54.780 the darkness always wins. This is old school adventuring at its most cruel. Your torch
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00:20:06.740 This is a brutal rules-light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the decisions that the characters make.
00:20:14.420 This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back.
00:20:19.160 Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on youtube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.
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00:22:05.700 this is roxanne and chanteau let's get into it and we're back so he first met her oh okay so
00:22:16.940 she this is like a sound of music situation because she was kind of the nanny so he first
00:22:22.980 met her through her work caring for his children by madame de montespan um noting that the care
00:22:27.840 she gave to his favorite of these children louis auguste uh she had a strict religious practice
00:22:33.600 which turned him off at first, but he warmed her through her care for his children. So this is
00:22:38.460 also sort of like a Don Draper, Megan from Mad Men thing, just like liking the way that a person
00:22:45.000 acts with the children. So he legitimized his children by Madame de Montespan, which again,
00:22:49.820 is not a thing they did in England. And Françoise d'Aubigné became the royal governess. As governess,
00:22:58.540 this is totally a sound of music situation. She was one of the few people permitted to speak to
00:23:02.620 him as an equal without limits. Governesses, okay. Then they were super secret sexy married at 0.86
00:23:08.400 Versailles on around October 10th, 1683, or maybe that following January. The marriage was never
00:23:15.560 announced or publicly discussed, was an open secret and lasted until his death. Super secret
00:23:20.020 sexy marriage. You love to see it. He was a great patron of the arts. We talked before about how his
00:23:25.500 mother had influenced him to be interested in art and theater and things. Let's see. So he founded
00:23:33.100 the Académie Royale de Danse, the Royal Dance Academy and the Académie d'Opera, which were
00:23:39.640 important driving events in the evolution of ballet. He also launched music competitions.
00:23:45.540 He also built, oh here, so Rie Versailles. So Versailles used to be a hunting lodge built by
00:23:52.240 his father that he then renovated into the spectacular palace of versailles so he was
00:23:56.980 really interested in building campaigns so a lot in common with um who is the one who oh uh ludwig
00:24:04.420 the second who liked building the castles as well but also this is similar to what um charles ii
00:24:10.080 was like but they were contemporaries they were similar age charles ii also wanted to build
00:24:16.500 beautiful buildings he just didn't have enough money to do it and then this is just a bit more
00:24:21.180 about things that he built so he also sponsored many public works in paris such as the establishment
00:24:27.040 of a police force and street lights he also constructed a hotel des invalides a military
00:24:35.600 complex and home to this day for officers and soldiers rendered infirm by injury or old age
00:24:40.840 this hospital pioneered new treatments and set new standards for hospice treatment as well as
00:24:45.500 pharmacology he also renovated and approved the louvre which is now a museum but which used to
00:24:52.020 be a place people lived in that confused me before in other stories where i was like wait
00:24:55.420 she moved into the louvre the museum not always a museum yeah so he was getting stuff done few
00:25:01.060 rulers in the world history have commemorated themselves in as grand a manner as louis so he
00:25:06.680 cultivated his image as the sun king le roi soleil the center of the universe without equal and that's
00:25:12.460 the whole thing about the courtiers had to just like watch him or else. Yeah. So there's numerous
00:25:17.740 paintings of him where he is portrayed largely in majesty, like looking fabulous in outfits or at
00:25:24.460 war. So that's a, he really strongly controls image, truly the Beyonce of his age. So people,
00:25:32.740 and he was came for so long. So there was just painting, sculpture, theater, dance, music,
00:25:36.780 almanacs, or I guess books that diffused royal propaganda to everybody. So just like, he's the
00:25:41.360 Sun King, he is kind of a god. So yeah, so there's over 300 formal portraits. Oh, so he got smallpox
00:25:50.340 at one point. There were some scars, I guess, but the paintings didn't show that. He was shown in
00:25:56.460 paintings as a Roman emperor, the god Apollo, or Alexander the Great. So similar to how Hortons
00:26:01.820 Manchini was done up as like different goddesses and stuff. So it's just kind of like, look how
00:26:05.840 great he is you know dress up in costume with other popular figures yeah so depictions um focused
00:26:13.180 on allegorical or mythological attributes instead of attempting to produce a true likeness so yeah
00:26:19.320 the portraits were not meant as an exercise in realism in order to explore his personal character
00:26:23.660 they just wanted to show how good his outfits were and just overall a sense of just like he
00:26:27.800 looks so powerful. So this one painter, Hyacinth Rigaud, so I guess this is like the best known
00:26:36.600 portrait of him was from 1701, in which a 63-year-old Louis appears to stand on a set of
00:26:41.780 unnaturally young legs. So early Photoshop. His intention was to glorify the monarchy.
00:26:48.020 The original of this painting is now housed in the Louvre, and it was originally meant as a gift
00:26:51.820 to Louis' grandson, Philip V of Spain. However, Louis was so pleased with this painting, he kept
00:26:57.120 the original and commissioned a copy to be sent to his grandson. That became the first of many
00:27:00.820 copies, which I guess is why it became such a popular portrait. And the portrait itself became
00:27:06.720 a model for French royal portraiture up to a century later. So yeah, you know, he like having
00:27:13.160 his portrait done, he also commissioned at least 20 statues of himself in the 1680s to stand in
00:27:18.120 Paris and provincial towns as a manifestation of his rule. So people could like, if there was
00:27:22.660 security cameras, I'm sure he'd be like, who was looking at the statue and who wasn't? And then
00:27:26.960 you know, some people would be favored and other people wouldn't be. He commissioned war artists
00:27:32.020 to follow him on military campaign to document his military triumphs. And then, oh, that's the
00:27:37.700 Arc de Triomphe in Paris. That was him, a commemoration of one of his military successes.
00:27:42.820 So I do appreciate in the context of just people in history that he was like actually out there
00:27:48.920 doing the battles, it sounds like, not just having other people do them for him. At least that's what
00:27:53.820 i glean having deleted all of the war stuff from what i'm reading you so he also um there's also
00:28:00.820 medallions um tapestries he also loved ballet and this is like christina sweden vibes he frequently
00:28:08.540 danced in court ballets during the early half of his reign so like a dancing king like similar to
00:28:13.460 christina sweden so yeah he has an eager dancer who performed 80 roles in 40 major ballets which
00:28:19.560 approaches the career of a professional ballet dancer and here it's talking about like what
00:28:23.320 roles did he play sometimes he danced the leading roles other times he would be like in a supporting
00:28:28.420 role ballet may not have been merely a tool for manipulation in his propaganda machine the sheer
00:28:33.400 number of performances he gave as well as the diversity roles he played uh seemed to indicate
00:28:38.220 that he just like really liked dancing ballet but um yeah so all this stuff about ballet like
00:28:46.300 just really the development of ballet owes a lot to him apparently but he was just being like i'm
00:28:53.140 great. I'm a sun king. Everybody like worships me, et cetera. But the people, the like non
00:28:58.120 Versailles, like regular people, there was like clandestine publications, popular songs and
00:29:03.960 rumors providing an alternative interpretation of Luina's government. So, you know, people made
00:29:10.680 fun of him as well as everyone does too. Well, as happens to anyone who's like in a position of
00:29:16.000 power generally. So his health was probably not very good, which is maybe why he worked so hard
00:29:22.240 to like really propagandize that like he is healthy and like no better man has ever lived
00:29:27.860 and it's just giving me kind of like Trump vibes a petit peu so he had many ailments um including
00:29:34.640 symptoms of what sounds probably like diabetes he had dental abscesses recurring boils fainting
00:29:40.320 spells gout dizziness hot flashes and headaches so he whoo I was like should I read this should I
00:29:48.460 not i will but um at one point he underwent and bear in mind this is 1686 so like the kind of
00:29:56.200 surgical procedure that would happen in 1686 just what that would be like hands washing wise in the
00:30:02.680 sense of no one would have washed their hands so he underwent an operation for an anal fistula
00:30:08.140 performed by the surgeon charles felix de tassi who prepared a specially shaped curved scalpel
00:30:14.000 for the occasion. The wound took more than two months to heal, but it did, so like, good? Eventually,
00:30:20.340 he died of gangrene at Versailles, 1715, four days before his 77th birthday, after having been the
00:30:27.560 king for 72 years. That surgery is 1686. He didn't die for decades after that, so like, clearly that
00:30:34.300 healed. Anyway, so he endured much pain in his last days. He finally, quote, yielded up his soul
00:30:39.120 without any effort like a candle going out his body was laid to rest in the saint denis basilica
00:30:44.880 outside paris and remained there undisturbed for about 80 years until like every french person i've
00:30:49.400 ever researched during the french revolution people destroyed all the remains that they found
00:30:53.960 there like the french revolutionaries were just like destroying tombs skeletons coffins they were
00:31:00.000 just like doing all of it succession he outlived most of his immediate legitimate family like he
00:31:06.700 all these like charles all these illegitimate children too his last surviving legitimate son
00:31:11.360 the dauphin the monseigneur died in 1711 and then he had died in 1750 so yeah so he had lived his
00:31:20.280 only son his only legitimate surviving son so barely a year later so the dauphin the monseigneur
00:31:29.240 like he had had children. And then the Monsignor's oldest son died a year later. And then his second,
00:31:38.660 so these are like Louis's nephews and his next, no, his grandchildren. So then his next oldest
00:31:43.260 grandchild died later. So on his deathbed, the only legitimate heir he had left because it was
00:31:50.200 a whole like, yeah, it can only be legitimate heirs and it can only be boys. So his heir was
00:31:55.720 his five-year-old great-grandson Louis Duke of Anjou the younger son of Louis's son so knowing
00:32:03.020 that this is going to be another like boy king era he sought to restrict the power of his nephew
00:32:08.560 Philip II Duke of Orleans who so this is Louis's nephew probably Philippe says Philip anyway it
00:32:18.760 seemed like that would probably be who the regent was to the new little baby Louis so kind of like
00:32:24.940 his father had done before him so he created a regency council with some power vested in his
00:32:30.720 illegitimate son louis's illegitimate son louis august the one who he liked how the governess
00:32:35.700 later wife treated but exactly the same has happened to his parents after he died um orleans
00:32:42.880 so his nephew who louis had been trying to restrict just like his father been trying to restrict
00:32:46.960 or his grandfather had been trying to restrict his mother orleans had the will annulled i love
00:32:51.380 that the people are just writing wills and nulling wills it's just like what's the point of anything
00:32:55.720 Orleans made himself sole regent um he stripped Louis Auguste of the rank of prince of the blood
00:33:02.020 which meant that they were um official princes and now they're just illegitimate again so this
00:33:07.880 significantly reduced the power and privileges of Louis Auguste so according to Philippe de
00:33:17.100 Corsion's journal. On his deathbed, Louis advised his heir, I guess this like what six-year-old boy
00:33:22.260 with these words, but in French, do not follow the bad example, which I have set you. I've often
00:33:26.900 undertaken war too lightly and have sustained it for vanity. Do not imitate me, but be a peaceful
00:33:31.720 prince and may you apply yourself principally to the alleviation of the burdens of your subjects.
00:33:36.920 But some historians point out it was customary to have this demonstration of piety in those days to
00:33:42.240 exaggerate one's sins for like religious reasons so this doesn't necessarily mean like this is how
00:33:48.720 louis really thought about himself he's just trying to make himself look good like to god
00:33:52.360 so he get into heaven louis detractors oh here i'm going to talk about so because france did so well
00:34:00.480 with military and cultural successes power and sophistication europeans generally began to emulate
00:34:05.520 french manners values goods and deportment french became the universal language of the european
00:34:10.480 elite. And I would suggest that's why people like me, like basic bitches living in Canada 0.99
00:34:16.820 in the year 2022, like just think that France is like the fanciest place in the world. Like it's 0.96
00:34:24.060 just, I grew up thinking that and I still think that and I would like to go there one day, but 0.99
00:34:29.980 you know, like such a basic bitch thing, which like I am a proud basic bitch. Don't worry about 0.99
00:34:35.400 pumpkin spice lattes just came out i've had three so far but yeah you know like the thing emily in
00:34:41.620 paris or like how sex and city keeps going to paris or there's the thing on the hills where
00:34:45.800 it's like lauren you'll always be the girl who didn't go to paris like paris well it's just
00:34:48.980 funny because louis didn't like paris but just the whole thing of french being this sophisticated
00:34:53.840 elegant place i'm pretty sure tracks back to this era and to louis's influence his detractors have
00:35:00.500 argued that his various expenditure impoverished and bankrupted France. But his supporters
00:35:07.640 distinguished the state, which was impoverished, from France, which was not a delineation I don't
00:35:13.440 super understand. But Louis' critics also attribute the social upheaval culminating in the French
00:35:20.160 Revolution to his failure to reform French institutions while the monarchy was still secure.
00:35:24.500 But, you know, how responsible is he for things that happened 80 years after his death when his
00:35:29.740 successors had sufficient time to like do more reforms and things. He's often been criticized
00:35:34.200 for his vanity, but I would say nothing with being vain. He also has received praise. I don't know.
00:35:42.560 He's like a person who's talked about a lot, right? By like everybody. And I'm going to guess
00:35:47.960 like he was king for a long time and he accomplished a lot, but also his propaganda machine. Like
00:35:52.660 a lot of what, even though people made fun of him in the time, there's still a lot of what remains
00:35:57.140 is like nice things people wrote about him because everyone had to write nice things about him
00:36:00.780 because that was the economy in Versailles. Voltaire, the like famous writer, wrote a book
00:36:08.500 called The Age of Louis XIV. And he named Louis's reign is not only one of the four great ages in
00:36:13.620 which reason and culture flourished, but the greatest ever. But that's like a lot happened
00:36:18.580 after that. And also Voltaire didn't know about a lot of other countries. Here's a nice detail,
00:36:24.320 especially for this international season which is like turning into a real like victor frankenstein
00:36:30.620 level thing of just people's corpses and body parts having things happen to them so louis heart
00:36:37.660 was mummified when he was buried i guess and then in 1848 a piece of his mummified heart which had
00:36:43.600 been taken from his tomb and kept in a silver locket which is like mary shelley to the extreme
00:36:49.300 to like not just like have the cart with you in a drawer but to like wear it in a locket um okay
00:36:56.900 so a piece of louis mummified heart taken from his tomb and kept in a silver locket by lord
00:37:01.300 harcourt archbishop of york was shown in 1848 to the dean of westminster william buckland
00:37:06.580 who ate it why don't know doesn't say numerous quotes have been attributed to louis the 14th
00:37:15.400 by legend. The well-known, I am the state, or in French, l'état, c'est moi, was reported from at
00:37:22.000 least the late 18th century. It was widely repeated, but also denounced as apocryphal by
00:37:26.220 the early 19th century. He did say, but in French, every time I appoint someone to a vacant position,
00:37:32.320 I make a hundred unhappy and one ungrateful. He is recorded by numerous eyewitnesses as having
00:37:40.120 said on his deathbed but in french i depart but the state shall always remain and that's louis
00:37:47.380 like there's so much scandalousness in this story right but we've talked about those bits
00:37:55.200 in the hortense mancini episodes like love wasn't like that was during that era the whole like the
00:38:02.440 affair of the poisons we talked we got into great detail about that so i'm not gonna rehash that all
00:38:08.240 here. We all know those stories. So I'm going to score him. I'm talking about the scandaliciousness
00:38:13.560 because that's the first thing. And there was scandaliciousness surrounding him. He himself
00:38:20.180 though. And again, I just, that was just the Wikipedia. I haven't read specifically anything
00:38:25.360 more in detail about him because there's lots of other podcasts that do that kind of work. And
00:38:29.860 that's not what I do. But I feel like, you know, like with the mistress and stuff, it's like that
00:38:33.900 wasn't scandalicious to people at the time like he just took so much power and he was able to do
00:38:39.020 with it what he wanted so it wasn't just like here's i don't know so it's like in context it
00:38:44.560 wasn't super scandalous what he did so i'm gonna give him like a three um even like the affair of
00:38:48.680 the poisons that wasn't him doing stuff that was just people were doing stuff around him
00:38:52.700 scheminess in terms of just like him and like figuring stuff out i don't know like making
00:38:58.120 everyone be in versailles i feel like he's like pretty pretty good for scheminess i'll give him
00:39:01.500 like a six. His significance, I'm going to give a high score, I think, because like the development
00:39:06.980 of ballet, just the way that France became this like military power, although later it wasn't
00:39:12.820 such a military power, but just like the propaganda machine, I feel like he's, I'll give him a seven
00:39:18.200 for significance. And also the whole thing about like making France just be seen as like the
00:39:23.140 fanciest, most cultured, educated, sophisticated place, even though objectively, I know it's not,
00:39:28.600 but deep in my bones, I just feel like it is. And that's because of the work that he put in
00:39:33.580 sexism bonus. I mean, I'm not being like, he was here being a champion of women's rights,
00:39:38.440 but like he had a wife, he had mistresses, he like married his governess. I hope she like
00:39:42.700 wanted to. Oh, that was a good scandal though. Super secret sexy magnet governess, but for sexism 0.96
00:39:47.920 bonus, I feel like, whatever. I don't know. He's just kind of like, as per anyone then I'll give
00:39:53.180 like a five for that. So that's, it's 21 minus 21 because the asshole scores are always in the 0.99
00:39:59.760 minus in case this is your first time listening to one of these episodes, because I don't know, 0.85
00:40:04.000 there's enough other histories out there in existence that like talk about how great he is. 0.95
00:40:09.360 So we're just like scoring him in terms of asshole-ishness. So minus 21, whatever. And that 0.94
00:40:13.900 is Louis Catorze. I learned some things. I learned some things live here. You heard me learn them.
00:40:20.400 I shared them with you. We had a nice time. So next time, probably if I have time to research
00:40:27.600 it is going to be what you chose Patreons on the last. So this asshole pull by a gigantic margin. 1.00
00:40:35.500 Every time I put a poll up, something runs away with it, which is good to know because I genuinely 1.00
00:40:40.640 can't decide. And then there's always a big majority. So we're going to type of Christopher
00:40:44.900 Columbus next time. I'm actually surprised I haven't done him before. Like I feel like I had,
00:40:49.140 but then it's like, no, I just did Hernan Cortez, which is like a similar narrative,
00:40:52.940 but different. So that's what we're doing next. Um, I'm recording and then releasing this on
00:40:58.260 September 3rd. I believe we're going to be recording the Les Miserables, um, Volker Peace
00:41:04.120 Theater. I forget if it's next Saturday or the one after, but after that, I think, you know,
00:41:08.020 after some like summer pausing of things, I'm hoping to get back into a regular
00:41:12.320 protein schedule here for So This Asshole and for Volker Peace Theater. So yeah, until next time,
00:41:18.320 Keep your pants on and your tits out. 0.99
00:41:27.220 So again, just a little bonus treat for all of you, just to sort of a preamble, a pre-show, 0.99
00:41:33.640 an aperitif for season seven, part two, which is kicking off on Wednesday.
00:41:39.560 And we're going to talk more about Versailles in that episode as well.
00:41:44.060 But this kind of, this kind of paves the way.
00:41:45.940 So we're all sort of ready and pivoting from that, from the America stuff to the France
00:41:50.980 stuff.
00:41:51.440 So that's coming up on Wednesday.
00:41:53.680 And this is Vulgar History. 0.99
00:41:55.500 If you want to hear more of these episodes, more of these like casual, um, so this asshole
00:41:59.940 slash so this goofball episodes, if you join the Patreon as a paid member for $5 or more
00:42:05.380 a month, you get access to all of these episodes as well as episodes of Vulgar Peace Theater,
00:42:09.900 which is where I, Lana Wood Johnson and Alison Epstein talk about various costume dramas.
00:42:14.860 We've talked about a few from French.
00:42:16.980 Actually, we've talked about several from French history. 1.00
00:42:19.220 It's usually my fault that we do that.
00:42:20.940 We've talked about on that podcast, The Affair of the Necklace, the movie starring Hilary
00:42:25.120 Swank as Jean de Lamont.
00:42:26.900 We've talked about Chevalier, the movie about the Chevalier de Saint-Georges.
00:42:31.780 We've talked about Queen Margot, but also other movies anyway.
00:42:36.660 That's all if you join the Patreon as a paid member.
00:42:38.880 You can also join the Patreon for free just to keep up with what I'm doing because I post
00:42:42.760 information there, including that's where I've been posting some stuff about my trip I recently
00:42:47.560 took to London and Edinburgh and Braunschweig, Germany, and also on the Patreon coming up
00:42:54.500 this week. There's going to be a very special new episode of the after show. That's where when I
00:42:59.920 have a guest on and we have a lot to discuss, that's not the topic of the regular episode.
00:43:04.500 We go to the after show to just like kiki, have some lols, and that's going to be coming up there
00:43:09.420 two. Anyway, this is a special bonus. You'll hear from me again in what, like two days on Wednesday
00:43:15.680 with the season premiere of season seven, part two. You can follow me on Instagram and on threads
00:43:21.560 at vulgarhistorypod. And until next time, keep your pants on and your tits out. 1.00
00:43:28.600 Vulgar History is researched, written, and hosted by Anne Foster. That's me. The editor is Christina 1.00
00:43:34.860 Lumagi. Theme music is by
00:43:36.840 The Severn Duo. The Vulgar
00:43:38.940 History Show image is by Deborah
00:43:40.780 Wong. Transcripts are written by
00:43:42.580 Aveline Malek. Find transcripts of recent
00:43:44.780 episodes at vulgarhistory.com
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00:44:53.280 Hi, I'm Whitney.
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00:44:55.940 And we're the hosts of True Crime Campfire.
00:44:58.580 We set out to make a true crime podcast we'd want to listen to.
00:45:02.080 We get right to the story.
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00:45:22.340 We look for the stranger-than-fiction stories, like the case of Patty James,
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